Strong-San Fan

<div style="text-align:center;"><p><em><strong>…3…</strong></em></p><p><em><strong> …2…</strong></em></p><p><em><strong> …1…</strong></em></p><p><em><strong> …START FILM…</strong></em></p><p><em><strong> </strong></em></p></div><p></p><p></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> The "START FILM" leader disappears and immediately cuts into a panorama of London ripped clearly from legendary '70s wrestling program "Britain's Sport World", including a peppy brass quintet jingle.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> </em><span style="color:#4169E1;">"Britain."</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>A sign reading MIND THE GAP.</em> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"Home to law. And order."</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>Buckingham Palace.</em> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"Home to queens. And kings."</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>The brass quintet stops and the scene once again abruptly cuts to a gentleman standing in the middle of an empty intersection in a garish tweed suit, brandishing a microphone. Though the presenter's face is too out of focus to really tell who he is, he's clearly a large man. He's also laying on a very thick upper-class English accent.</em></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"And home to a thriving British wrestling scene. Much like this thriving intersection at rush hour,</span> <em>(a bicycle glides by, ringing a little bell)</em> <span style="color:#4169E1;">British wrestling has seen a resurgence. And with that resurgence has come newfound respect all over the world for all things British, especially British humour."</span></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"But one man says, 'Let's not get too carried away.'"</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>Another abrupt cut, this time to a studio with a black backdrop and a close-up of a familiar speaker...</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> </em> <span style="color:#FF00FF;">"Let's not get too carried away."</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>The man some British wrestling fans might remember as "</em><em><strong>Ultra Camp" Chuck Frisby</strong></em><em> (with trademark headband) flashes his unmistakably toothy grin. Another abrupt cut and we see the presenter from the street, now recognizable as Men of Steel Combat's </em><em><strong>Greg "Highland Warrior" McPeterson</strong></em><em>.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> Both are wearing remarkably ugly suits.</em></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#FF00FF;">"I personally think professional wrestling has become far too silly. Just look at what you see on the telly! A strongman bench-pressing everything that comes near him? Some young man in a hoodie threatening anarchy? One chap trying to close another chap inside a casket? I can tell you right now, I am fed up with all of this silliness and I am fed up with it all being passed off as 'British' professional wrestling."</span></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"Well, in your own words, could you kindly tell us what British wrestling is to you?"</span></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#FF00FF;">"Oh, of course I could."</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>…</em></p><p><em> Awkward silence.</em></p><p><em> …</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> Frisby maintains his grin, gradually looking more insincere by the second, while McPeterson, suddenly realizing his question was misinterpreted, beckons for a more elaborate response.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> </em><span style="color:#FF00FF;">"Oh, you actually wanted me to talk about it!"</span></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"Yes, if you would."</span></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#FF00FF;">"Oh, well why didn't you say so? I don't know what I'd do if I weren't reading from a teleprompter."</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>Frisby deadpans to the camera and then continues.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em> </em><span style="color:#FF00FF;">"British wrestling to me means going back to the days when men were men and had completely out-of-shape figures and wrestled long matches where nothing happened. I plan to bring that sort of wrestling back -- no silliness, no flash, nothing anyone would be remotely interested in watching. A completely proper wrestling program."</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>McPeterson nods, leaning in.</em> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"I must say, this sounds like a fantastic program! Have you a name for it?"</span></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#FF00FF;">"I certainly have! British Professional Wrestling. And our slogan is, 'Keep Wrestling Tidy.' We shall feature only clean, competitive matches and absolutely no silliness whatsoever."</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>Right on cue, two scantily-clad women catfight onto the set.</em></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#FF00FF;">"Oi, what's this?"</span></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"I say, is this the sort of 'proper' British wrestling you're promoting, Mr. Frisby??"</span></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#FF00FF;">"Come on, stop this at once!"</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>Frisby attempts to interfere and is predictably relieved of his pants and tackled, now in the fray with the two women.</em></p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#4169E1;">"Mr. Frisby!! I say, Mr. Frisby, stop this at once!!"</span></p><p> </p><p> <em>The brass jingle return as McPeterson admonishes the three rolling on the floor, his voice gradually drowned out by the jingle as the scene dissolves into a shot of Big Ben, which in turn transforms into the BPW logo...</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><p><span style="font-size:18px;"><strong>BRITISH PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size:18px;"><strong> </strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size:18px;"><strong> Keep Wrestling </strong></span><span style="font-size:18px;"><strong><em>Tidy!</em></strong></span></p></div><p></p>