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Pteroid

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Pteroid last won the day on December 29 2022

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  • Birthday 03/27/1993

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  1. BREAKING NEWS: FOUNDER OF THE CLUB BACK WITH 'CUTTING EDGE' PRODUCT JANUARY 1, 2024 - Cesar Kaslow has come roaring back into headlines in the wrestling industry this week as he has debuted an 'Iconoclastic, Groundbreaking, and Futuristic' new product: Ai Championship Wrestling (or Ai-CW). Amid a crowd of industry journalists in the company's new Silicon Valley HQ, Kaslow promised a company whose hiring practices, storylines, and even color commentary would be provided by proprietary AI engine 'KittyKat'. "The wrestling industry has been dominated too long by the small minds of industry hangers on and money men," Kaslow said answering a journalist question, "With the KittyKat AI Model we're going to revolutionize the industry by removing the need for these dinosaurs and barnacles with an algorithm trained on the habits of Pro Wrestling's most influential bookers." The question was 'Who programmed the AI?' for the record. Along with his bold proclamations, Kaslow debuted the majority of the company's roster (picked by KittyKat), the matches for its first 'Seed Money' event, and the company logo. BLACK IDOL | EL VEES EMPEROR SHIMAOKA | ESPACIO PIRATA LAKA | GENERAL VILLAINY LIL $WAG | LYN MERRIT PARIS FASHION | JIMMY VELOUR LARRY LIGHTNING | XTIAN ST. OURS THE FABULOUS BLANCO BROS (JIMMY & JUAN) REFEREE ZACH VINCENT | OWNER CESAR KASLOW PLAY BY PLAY HANK HERNANDEZ JR. | COLOUR COMMENTARY KITTYKAT AI MANAGER DR. HAZARD Ai-CW: THE FUTURE IS NOW Vol. 1 Ai-CW CHAMPIONSHIP SIX-WAY TITLE MATCH BLACK IDOL VS EL VEES VS ESPACIO PIRATA VS LIL $WAG VS LARRY LIGHTNING VS LYN MERIT THE FABULOUS BLANCO BROS. VS GENERAL VILLIANY & EMPEROR SHIMAOKA JIMMY VELOURS VS XTIAN ST. OURS No he didn't answer why the robot in the logo was holding a shoe.
  2. Apologies for the long wait, work has decided to kick me in the crotch this week and it appears my progress on the event was somehow lost as well.
  3. WRESTLESAURUS X The story so far... It has been a long six months since the Martian Queen's invasion of Earth at the head of her Kaiju Death Army was drawn into pitched combat with the forces WrestleX Air Force. As the world prepares to mourn the lives lost to her most infamous enforcer Lobster Warrior, let's have a look at the various scores that will no doubt be settled at what's meant to be a vigil for the lost... The rivalry between Air Chief Marshal Westminster and Lobster Warrior has been intense since our war with the invaders has gone to the squared circle, with the Marshal only barely averting multiple attempts by the Warrior to devour innocent bystanders...and also that one jerk from the AWF who keeps showing up (more on him later). The latter has resulted in the highest cost for Westminster as his intervention led to him losing an arm to the horrible beast's slavering jaws. But the joke was on the decapodal delinquent as Westminster returned with a cybernetic arm the next month and proved instrumental in helping Behemoth and the Mighty Mutant Power Beetles forcing the Queen herself to retreat for reinforcements and send her army into disarray! With the memorial for Warrior's victims on the horizon Westminster has declared his intent to chain himself to the very trophy commemorating the anniversary, but will this act of conviction just serve him up like a seafood special? The Martian Queen wasn't the only baddie on the loose, the vile Venusian attempted to capitalize on the war by establishing his criminal enterprise known as the Cosmic Cartel alongside the mysterious mobster Starface and the loose cannon hitman ROOSTER-3000. Opposing them were patriot par excellence Big Al and his Extraterrestrial Amigo The Visitor, eager to keep the WrestleX War Zone crime-free. They faced an uphill battle with the numbers out of their favor, but with a cunning disguise as Blue Man, The Visitor managed to apprehend Venusian and goaded his minions into a battle with Venusian at ringside in a LAZER SHARK CAGE specifically designed to hold LAZER SHARKS, impregnable in every way! Will their desire to save their boss be the Cartel's undoing, or have Venusian's hints there's an even bigger boss pulling the strings come into play? The do-gooder team of the Mighty Mutant Power Beetles have gained themselves quite a reputation as noble warriors since the war for Earth's survival began. However, with great popularity comes enemies...and also stalkers in the case of Power Beetle Rose whose had to deal with the unwanted advances of The Nightmare from the Lagoon! Threatening the life of some hot dog guy who hangs around sometimes, the Nightmare has forced Rose into a bout with her hand in marriage on the line...it's kinda skeevy not gonna lie but we all know Rose is up to the task! Meanwhile nominal leader of the group Power Beetle Magma has successfully made the mercenary Brutus cancel his contract with the Martian Queen and the wouldbe monarch in her absence, King Kongor, has decided that Magma must be squashed to legitimize his reign! Can Magma bring the fire or will the King rule the roost? Finally...ok honestly Power Beetle Grass seems to have been going through a lot lately, managing to only rack up wins when teaming with his fellow Beetle Ghost. The last straw for the short-tempered bug came when he was in the middle of the ring by Yukito and has challenged the affable entertainer to a boxing match of all things. With the timid creature pressured by his comrades into accepting the bout we don't have high hopes for the fuzzy friend but it'd certainly not be a good look if Grass lost. This guy...screw this guy. He started showing up around February attempting to recruit kaiju for his 'Uncle Johnny's' wrestling organization. We've already told you how this robbed Westminster of his favorite right arm, but this guy just doesn't seem to learn because he's declared that the Memorial will see the debut of a brand new 'Brand Ambassador' for his company. Like...read the room, jerkwad. Finally the only rivalry that could match Westminster vs Lobster nears its climax. From the start Pinatadon has menaced the WrestleX War Zone with his irradiated bonking stick, with a special ire towards the turncoat Behemoth! With the assistance of the Queen, Pinatadon has ambushed his former comrade multiple times, getting an edge over the plum-colored powerhouse again and again and seemingly putting him on the shelf until he reappeared to help Westminster and the Beetles force the Queen to retreat into space! The rage has only grown with the Queen's top enforcer since and the two bitter enemies will face off in the deadly... BONKA STICK ON A POLE MATCH WHO WILL SURVIVE!? WHO WILL STAND VICTORIOUS!? WHY DON'T WE JUST LET THAT LOBSTER EAT THE TALENT SCOUT!? FIND OUT AT WRESTLEX: MEMORIAL FOR THE VICTIMS OF LOBSTER WARRIOR! WrestleX Presents: Memorial For The Victims Of Lobster Warrior Radioactive Bonka Stick On A Pole Match Behemoth vs Pinatadon Power Beetle Magma vs King Kongor Power Beetle Rose vs The Nightmare From The Lagoon Might Mutant Power Beetles (Aqua, Earth, Ghost) vs Aquasaur, Militant Centipede, & Nautilus The Venusian in a LAZER SHARK CAGE @ Ringside Big Al & The Visitor vs The Cosmic Cartel Boxing Exhibition Power Beetle Grass vs Yukito Air Chief Marshal Westminster vs Lobster Warrior
  4. Deep South AND Texan style wrestling together in one company!? There’s never been a more controversial combination since Country and Western music!
  5. Leo Steele as a chef. Is he Luigi's brother? Clone? Perhaps this is a character he played in your average 'Action star...in a COMEDY FILM???' stint, who can say?
  6. ZEN: THE ART OF WRESTLING SIZE: TINY MONIES: 50,000 CHAMPIONS ZEN MASTER: HALLOWEEN KNIGHT ZEN HARMONY: THE SKY KINGS (VERTIGO & SUPER ZERO) ZEN CONCEPTUAL: SHAOLIN NEXT TIME ON ZEN: WAY OF THE DREAMER 2010 MAIN EVENT MASTER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH HALLOWEEN KNIGHT (c) VS LONE SHARK TRIOS MATCH F.E.A.R (NECROMANCER, CYANIDE, & MASSACRE) VS DEVILFISH, MAN O'WAR & X-CALIBRE ZEN CONCEPTUAL TITLE MATCH SHAOLIN (c) VS BILE QUICK SILVER VS MIRROR UNIVERSE JOHN GORDON HARMONY TITLE FOUR-WAY BOUT THE SKY KINGS (c) VS THE MERCS VS THE HORROR SHOW VS C-W-A AND A MYSTERY PARTNER (WHO COULD IT BEEEEEE!!!???)
  7. "-AND TONIGHT I'M GONNA GET REVENGE ON THAT NO-GOOD VERTIGO ONCE AND FOR ALL!" BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "SHUT UP, AUCKLAND OR I'LL SLAP THE LIVER SPOTS OFF YA GRANNIES! VERTIGO THINKS HE'S GOT THE NUMBERS ADVANTAGE WITH ALL HIS LITTLE DOG TURD TECNICO FRIENDS BUT I GOT SOMETHIN' BETTER, I GOT FAMILY! GET OUT HERE, CUZ!" "Hoo hoo hoo hoooooooo, did somebody say send in the cloooooowns?" Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I got here, well friends the answer to that is simple. "I'm sorry we're paying how much to a guy with a clown gimmick?" Then! "I will literally pay that much for a second guy with a clown gimmick." And now I live in New Zealand! =D "Also you're the booker." Also I'm the booker! =D Wait you wanna know how we got to that particular angle? Oh well I better go into better detail then, quick someone post some basic company info!
  8. George DeColt Memorial Cup Final: Dubois d. McFly The Canadian Blondes (C) d. Thunder & Lightning CGC Canadian Chaos Championship Oily Turkish Pervert Match: Skip Beau (C) d. Whippy The Clown Team Stiff'Em (Robinson & Frey) d. The Golden Elite (Atherton & Draper) George DeColt Memorial Cup Semi Final: Marc Dubois d. Ian DeColt George DeColt Memorial Cup Semi Final: Sean McFly d. Gargantuan
  9. ZEN: BOSTON PRESENTS UNITED STATES OF FOOLS MAIN EVENT DUKE HAZZARD'S QUALIFIER FOR THE UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM SCRAMBLE MATCH SCRAMBLE MATCH PREVIEW BOUT PUMPKIN JACK & QT PI VS BRADLEY BLAZE & HARRY ALLEN FRO SURE VS SUPREME YOSHIDA TYRONE GRAY VS DEADLY DEADSHOT ZEN KINSHIP TITLE MATCH THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS LEGENDS OF THE SEA (c) ZEN RIGHT TO PARTY MATCH STEREO (c) VS AMERICAN JUSTICE CHEETAH BOY & THE GOLDEN GLORY VS THE ARONA FAMILY
  10. THE ZEN NEWSWIRE HAZZARD TO ANNOUNCE FINAL UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM QUALIFIER IN PERSON To the shock of many, Sheriff Duke Hazzard is as of this moment on his way to open United States of Fools by announcing his own qualifier match for the United States of Mayhem scramble match. Sheriff Hazzard has not been reached for comment due to no members of the newswire being welcome on his private jet but his confidant Bradley Blaze has made allusions to 'Dealing with a thorn in his side once and for all' with his choice. DEADSHOT/GRAY BOUT SET FOR UNITED STATES OF FOOLS Following a dustup at United States of Fools, Tyrone Gray and Deadly Deadshot have been signed to a matchup at United States of Fools. The two acrobatic luchadors are certain to put on a show in their quest to prove superiority over one another but one can only hope Diamond Deuce will be on hand to keep Deadshot's cohorts in the Regulators from making their presences felt. TECH SQUAD DENIES SIGNAL INTERFERENCE WORRIES A whistleblower within the ZEN Production team has reached out to the newswire's reporters about strange visuals attempting to intrude in the early tests for tonight's United States of Fools' broadcast. When reached for comment the in-house tech support team made it clear that they have the issue in hand and there will be no interruptions to tonight's livestream. Godspeed, you glorious geeks, godspeed.
  11. ZEN: The Art of Grappling Attendance: 535 Viewers: 108,283 On The ZEN Network The show opened with Man O'War of ZEN: London appear to announce his match to decide the fourth entrant in the United States of Mayhem scramble main event. The ZEN Original didn't mince his words, noting that only a luchador with pike performance can salmon the courage to separate themself from the puffered up pack to show who the real starfish was around here- A vaudeville hook slowly began to slide in from offstage and Manny very quickly snapped out of his pun spiral and got to business. "I'm calling on the lucha libre tradition of the Cibernetico match! Two teams of five, and only one man will remain standing at the end! After conferring with ZEN Officials and drawing names of some of ZEN's biggest stars at random your teams for tonight are:" TEAM A ROBBIE WRIGHT, PUMPKIN JACK, ADE NELSON, DEADLY DEADSHOT, AND TYRONE GRAY TEAM B BIG HOSS, THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA, ASH BARNABY, ZACH RUDGE, AND CHEETAH BOY As the crowd roars at the prospect of such a chaotic match, Manny takes a bow... "Scylla later~-HRK!" Then got yoinked offstage by the hook. THE GOLDEN FOX VS AMERICAN JUSTICE With his newfound mentor in Cheetah Boy prepping for his sudden inclusion in the main event tonight, Fox only had his tag partner in The Golden Pig to rely on for support against the bat-wielding vigilante (the...the object, not the animal, it's hard to keep track of that these days). A high-flying affair with both men giving it their all, Justice of course resorted to shortcuts to get his way, though Pig at ringside managed to alert the referee to a few dirty doings until- Oh. Great. The minions of Arona, no doubt still steamed about his father and the super heroes preventing him from getting his hands on Hazzard last week, assaulted Pig at ringside. Fox saw this and went for one of his signature dives out onto the miscreants but as the ref was distracted Justice slammed his bat into Fox's ribs and captured him in a La Magistral cradle for a dirty win. WINNER VIA PINFALL: AMERICAN JUSTICE Backstage, QT PI was once again working on her investigation into peculiar happenings and the disappearance of Garry the Entertainer. Lecturing a few stagehands on proper paranormal management, she seemed like she's going to lay out her hypothesis about what's going on when someone stepped into the scene: "Howdy, Ms." QT's demeanor turned hostile as the ZEN Conqueror champion leaned against the wall. QT demanded to know what Allen wanted but the veteran merely shrugged and stated he didn't get the chance to say it but he was proud of his protege for getting her first shot at the Conqueror title. QT makes it clear she doesn't need her former mentor to be proud of her, she wasn't doing this for the Conqeuror title or to get rid of ZEN: Boston's obstructive Sheriff, she was doing it to get the company focused on what was happening. "Something big is coming, Mr. Allen, and if we don't do something about it the effects on all of ZEN may be devastating." Harry shrugged and told her if that's the way she felt then perhaps she should spend more time training for the scramble instead of worrying about missing freaks like Garry. As he said that, for a split second, Franklin -or at least someone in a Franklin costume?- was stood next to him before disappearing in a blink. QT gasped and ran off, muttering about a need to get her scientific instruments as Allen scoffed, oblivious to what just happened. Elsewhere backstage, the Ghosts of Retribution were in the midst of a meditative ritual, surrounded by candles arranged in a pentagram. Their meditation was interrupted by the sudden arrival of the Kinship champions, The Legends of the Sea, as they belted out an obnoxious version of the Wellerman (what is this 2021?) with their obnoxious sidekick 'Pillage T. Parrot' (the T stands for The) on Crush's shoulder. The Ghosts did not take kindly to this and stood, getting in the pirates' faces and making it clear they were coming for the belts at United States of Fools, a threat the nautical duo laughed off (and Pillage squawked off) and replied that if Davy Jones' Locker could not avail against them then two rejects from Spirit Halloween hadn't a chance ("RAWK! HAVEN'T A CHANCE! RAWWWWK!"). The two teams were separated by officials before things could get much more heated but it was clear they were on track for a brawl and a half come United States of Fools... T-BONE TUCKER VS SAMHAIN A member of a disbanded stable faced a member of one on the rise as T-Bone Tucker tried to topple the real Spirit Halloween reject around here in Samhain. Unfortunately for the former bodyguard, his grit and determination couldn't match with the sheer momentum that the son of Arona had on his side and a pop-up backfist (identified as the 'Smack-O-Lantern' by Mac Smith) was enough to put Tucker down but good. WINNER VIA PINFALL: SAMHAIN Standing by backstage, Fro Sure was due to be interviewed when he was suddenly approached by Bradley Blaze. The cowboy informed Fro Sure that the man he pinned last week, his boss, Duke Hazzard wanted to meet with ZEN's latest and greatest signing at United States of Fools. Apparently Duke was cutting his recovery from the chaos of last week short just to do so and to announce his own qualifier for the United States of Mayhem match. Fro thought it over for a moment and agreed, saying it'd be good to meet the man in charge in a non-ridiculous circumstance. Blaze bitterly noted that EVERYTHING in ZEN was ridiculous before walking off. Fro turned away from that conversation to get ready for his interview, only to find someone else in his face: "FOUL PRODIGAL! I CHALLENGE YOU!" Fro blinked, looking around in confusion before pointing at himself. Yoshida: "MY RITUAL WAS IRONCLAD, MR. HAZZARD SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD ANY TROUBLE ESCAPING THE CLOYING CLUTCHES OF THE ZEN ROSTER! BUT YOU...YOOOOOU...YOUR PROFANE STEP, THE GAIT OF A MAN WHO BETRAYED MIGHTY EISEN BROKE MY DIVINE WORKINGS! I MUST HAVE VENGEANCE FOR THIS GREAT INJUSTICE! A MATCH! AT UNITED STATES OF FOOLS! WHAT SAY YOU!?" Fro: "Uhhhh...sure?" Yoshida: "EXCELLENT! CLAD THYSELF IN WHATEVER ARMOR YOU MAY! IT SHALL NOT AVAIL YOU AGAINST THE SWORD OF EISENISM!" She stormed off angrily, spitefully smashing the backstage interviewer with a Strong Arm Tactic before disappearing. Fro: "Man...I just wanted to stop gettin' me confused with Lenny Brown." Welcome to ZEN, Fro. MAIN EVENT CIBERNETICO MATCH WHOEVER WINS GOES ON TO UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM ROBBIE WRIGHT, PUMPKIN JACK, TYRONE GRAY, DEADLY DEADSHOT, & ADE NELSON VS BIG HOSS, ASH BARNABY, ZACH RUDGE, THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA, & CHEETAH BOY A thrilling (if chaotic) matchup saw two mixed up teams do battle for one of the two remaining coveted spots in the United States of Mayhem Scramble match. Needless to say the tension between Arona and his father...not to mention Deadshot and the entirety of his own team was palpable and the 'batting order' format of the match allowed combinations of luchadors previously unthinkable. Underscoring the match itself was the tension between Robbie Wright and Pumpkin Jack, an early argument between the two leading to Jack slapping Wright across the face and 'tagging' himself in in the most roundabout way possible. Ash Barnaby at one point made a point to save his Frat Bro Ade Nelson during an early domination session from Big Hoss by blind tagging in and forcing the big man to the back of the line. An extended series of comedy spots between the quartet suddenly saw Zach Rudge get rolled up by Robbie Wright and be the first elimination to his own goodnatured shock. As the match wore on, a developing game of oneupsmanship between Tyrone Gray and Deadly Deadshot became apparent, with Deadshot consistently tagging himself in to steal High Energy's thunder until he finally pushed his luck by attempting to steal a pin on Cheetah Boy by tagging himself in after a Tumbleweed on the veteran by Gray. Refusing to take any more guff from the masked man, Gray surprisingly smashed him with a Tumbleweed and plopped CB on top for a pinfall elmination of the masked man. Speaking of CB, for someone who wanted to remove himself from his father's shadow, Arona spent a lot of the match tagging in his dad to get out of trouble, hoping that whatever danger there was would take it all out on his patriarch rather than himself. He would finally succeed when Pumpkin Jack took CB down with a Pumpkinhandle Suplex to Arona's glee...only for him to realize that the next guy in the lineup behind him now was a very angry Big Hoss, who proceeded to use Arona and Ash Barnaby as weapons against the opposing four and eventually hit a running powerslam on Ash ONTO Ade Nelson to get an elimination before Tyrone pounced on the Frat Bro jus tto get him out of there. Down to a Three-on-two, Hoss' strength and Arona's underhandedness managed to get them into a position to even the odds when a shocking attempt by Gray to hit the Tumbleweed on Hoss was interrupted by Arona tossing his wig into Gray's face while he was on Hoss' shoulders, resulting in an electric chair drop that left him open to a moonsault senton for an elimination on High Energy. Arona would have little time to celebrate, however, as Robbie would swoop in for a Wright Move on the Outrageous one for another elimination! Hoss, on his own, aggressively attempted to boot Wright in the belly and followed up by yanking his head between his legs for a piledriver...but Jack used Robbie's back as a launchpad to slam a knee into Hoss' chin, sending him stumbling back into the ropes and back into an instinctual Wright Move by Robbie followed up by an Orange Bowl from Jack, both men falling on Hoss to make sure he was eliminated. And then there were two... The crowd cheered in anticipation of a fight they'd been dying to see for some time as Wright and Jack slowly got to their feet. The strain of the match had clearly taken a toll on both but they were NOT about to allow the other to claim victory easily. The momentum between the two shifted again and again as they attempted to claim that spot at Mayhem. Multiple times it'd seem like a finisher was about to be hit only for a canny reversal to keep the final nail from being hammered in. Eventually the two men were reduced to throwing punches as they tried to just pound each other into submission, the crowd cheering with each blow delivered until- Kick to the belly of Jack! Suplex position! Wright spun-! Jack slipped free, seizing an arm to pull between Wright's legs! PUMPKINHANDLE SUPLEX! 1! 2! 3! WINNER VIA PINFALL AND QUALIFYING FOR THE UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM SCRAMBLE MATCH: PUMPKIN JACK As the crowd roared its approval, Jack sprung to the top rope and beat his chest, roaring out a challenge to all his future opponents in the scramble match. Meanwhile Robbie Wright rolled out of the ring, soon joined by his brothers from the Frat who-he pushed away and fell to his knees on the entrance ramp! He screamed out in frustration and slammed his fists on the ramp, pulling at his hair before stumbling to the back, clearly in no mood to lick wounds with his friends. The camera switches back to Jack who ends the show making belt motions around his waist as we fade to black.
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