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ways to ask....


NickC13573

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hey guys, In 2 months it will be my senior prom... i do not want to miss it. i have missed every formal dance because i was too late in asking. I am wanting to ask this week, but i dont know how to ask in a "creative and romantic" way. any suggestions? the more creative the better. Thanks guys
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An elaborate hoax, possibly involving a bomb threat and the local fire department spraying her with a hose filled with roses or something. Or just walk up and ask. Using words delivered verbally. Romantic and creative is one thing, but you don't want to make life too hard on yourself and sometimes being direct is just as good.
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Creative and romantic never worked for me, and believe me I was good. My ideal partner ended up with a strange habbit of taking guys who ended up being gay, but I guess that's not really relevant. I've had much, much greater success being straight up and direct. Lay out what you want, but don't be long-winded. This next bit of advice is the hardest - "be confident". It's honestly the most difficult thing I can think of from that position, because it's simply asking you to be somethng you're not. You have to steel your wits, boldly go for it - voice control, anti-perspirant measures... whatever it is you do when nervous, you need to counteract it. Especially when it comes to a dance, you make a basic proposal, then save the romantic stuff for the actual date.
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I would have to agree. I mean, either do that or make plans with a friend that you have a good feeling is unreliable so you'll have a story you can tell people when you end up alone; somebody may eventually feel bad for you and start hanging out and then boom hey stuff is awesome. Worked for me, but I was essentially a pity magnet in High School, which is generally unbecoming. Hamster and Moe have a good handle on this, I think. Just ask. :)
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I asked the nearest cute girl who was sad because she had no date. Its just easier and I was lazy all of Senior year.... that senioritis is no joke. But if you really like a girl, I'd just bring it up in conversation and ask if she'd like to go with you. If not, who cares you were just making small talk anyway, right? But in all, for the most fun... GO ALONE!! Trust me, its way more fun! I felt obligated to dance with my prom date the whole night while I wanted to dance with anything else that moved. Including this one girl I had a huge crush on at the time. I made a pact that we could separate and dance with others and what followed.... was the single greatest, drunken display of male whorism since Leisure Suit Larry. Mostly because you will never see any of these people again, and the girls their know this. So uhm.... yeah, go alone.
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[QUOTE=NickC13573;383423]hey guys, In 2 months it will be my senior prom... i do not want to miss it. i have missed every formal dance because i was too late in asking. I am wanting to ask this week, but i dont know how to ask in a "creative and romantic" way. any suggestions? the more creative the better. Thanks guys[/QUOTE] I always figured this would be the best way.... "hey, you, I have a 15 inch ****...how about it?"
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You know, Nick, these guys have some good insight as far as it goes. But I think they are misisng a key point. One that it would seem you also neglected to mention. Who are you planning to ask out? Would your date be someone you have been with for a while and/or means a great deal for you? Or would she be some random chick whose lasting connection to you would be this prom date? Your question is really only valid if your date is the former. In the latter case, getting all creative and romantic might prove to be overkill.
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And to be honest, if she asks questions when you put that one to her, you just respond with "less talk, more muff." Truthfully, romance can kinda make teen chicks think you're singing from George Michaels playbook. Unless it's the solitary band geek type, really cute and smart but not highly popular in which case just opening your mouth will be enough for a yes, the rest is purely for post prom joys. Good luck my good friend.
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[QUOTE=NickC13573;384535]right cappy, I reread it and realized that as well. This girl means alot to me, but I dont mean alot to her.[/QUOTE] BZZZZZT!! You just fried your question, my friend. :) Seriously though, getting all creative and romantic in this kind of a situation is a real boom or bust situation. Again, you leave me without a key piece of information. WHY don't you mean as much to you as you do to her? Or do you know? If it's a question of her not taking your attachment seriously, then creative and romantic could work. It would still be a real gamble though because one flaw in your approach and you're down in flames. But you could also open her eyes to you if you played it right. If there's some other reason for the interest imbalance, you might just come off as incredibly desparate and scare her off altogether trying to be all splashy in your invitation. And it's pretty clear you don't want that. Really, this is a prime example of why we guys have so much trouble in affairs of the heart. Girls have an easier time being all flirty and just having fun with it in the early stages of a relationship. Where we guys have so much more pressure on us because of rituals like this and it inhibits our ability to play with chicks until we make a mutual connection. This is supposed to be a fun little outing with dancing and refreshments. Approach the topic with her that way. No need to prep like you're asking her to take an arms conference at Yalta.
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I've been in the situation where you like someone more than they like you. And trust me, where their is a will, theirs a way. If you read my old Valentines day thread where I asked for help with a gift for a girl, my objective was only to score points with her, get myself reconized in her eyes while telling her how I feel about her. V-day was the perfect time for that and I suppose prom season isnt much worse. If you feel like you'll fumble too much telling her verbally (I did), leave her a note. Just tell her how you feel and that you'd love for her to be your prom date. She'll sure as hell notice you afterwards. Just act nonchalaunt about it... it's only prom, but it'll allow you a grace period where you go further.
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Let me just throw in as an appendix to Afroman's comments. Notes are written proof and can be used to make fun of you. I'm not sure about the nature of the girl you plan on asking, or whether high schools are as mercenary, sadistic and deranged as they were since I was there. So yeah, note could work if you are confident the girl isn't going to use it to screw with you (in a bad non-sexual way). Also the same applies to notes as applies to talking in person. Don't be long winded, and don't be too weird or girly or spill your guts. Like Afroman said, tell her how you feel and that you'd like to kick it prom style with her. Also the 15 inch comment. It won't get you anywhere but dang would it be funny to read your follow up post.
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[QUOTE=BurningHamster;384858]Let me just throw in as an appendix to Afroman's comments. Notes are written proof and can be used to make fun of you. I'm not sure about the nature of the girl you plan on asking, or whether high schools are as mercenary, sadistic and deranged as they were since I was there. So yeah, note could work if you are confident the girl isn't going to use it to screw with you (in a bad non-sexual way). Also the same applies to notes as applies to talking in person. Don't be long winded, and don't be too weird or girly or spill your guts. Like Afroman said, tell her how you feel and that you'd like to kick it prom style with her. Also the 15 inch comment. It won't get you anywhere but dang would it be funny to read your follow up post.[/QUOTE] LOL I would deffinately write PS: I have a 15 inch penis..... even if its just for a comic releif tactic. I'm almost jealous I didnt use that myself. And as for the note being used against you.... meh. Sometimes you have to gamble. The act of going up to her is gambling in itself in you're just throwing yourself out their. But in that situation, you have nothing to lose really. Everything to gain. And if you're dying to be heard but think saying it verbally would do more harm than good, I dont see where you have a choice. And whats the worse thats gunna happen? She'll laugh, and show her friends as proof that you like girls?
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[QUOTE=AfRoMaN36;384888]LOL I would deffinately write PS: I have a 15 inch penis..... even if its just for a comic releif tactic. I'm almost jealous I didnt use that myself.[/QUOTE] See. If I was going for a comedy line, I'd go the other way with it. For example: "P.S: Sorry in advance for the size of my penis." Self-Depricating comedy. Does it work with the ladies? Not really, but it keeps me amused.
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LOL self deprication works when used in moderation. But lets keep the tiny penis jokes to a minimum. A mans junk reflects his personality and if he doesnt feel good about his junk, he doesnt feel good about himself. And chicks dig confidence. Its pretty much why they go for badasses over the nice sweet guys who would do anything for them. Badasses just have confidence. And if we're trying to minimalize things that will be held against you, tiny pee pees has to go.
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[QUOTE=AfRoMaN36;384918]LOL self deprication works when used in moderation. But lets keep the tiny penis jokes to a minimum. A mans junk reflects his personality and if he doesnt feel good about his junk, he doesnt feel good about himself. And chicks dig confidence. Its pretty much why they go for badasses over the nice sweet guys who would do anything for them. Badasses just have confidence. And if we're trying to minimalize things that will be held against you, tiny pee pees has to go.[/QUOTE] It depends on the delivery. I know this guy who uses a lot of self-deprication, and it's not funny or attractive because he's actually apologising for himself and trying to get some pity. That's not my style. I make up ridiculous flaws purely to get laughs. Often, I will begin a tremendous boast, and 'accidently' make reference to getting beaten up by a gang of 12 year olds. It's a different type of confidence. Humility. Being at peace with who you are. I mean, a guy has to be fairly confident with his attribute if he can make jokes about it. Maybe it's too subtle for the wimmin folk though, and I'm not sure I would test this theory in High School...
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You're right. Only the really secure folk can get pull off making fun of themselves. I try and limit these though or else girls will think thats who you think you are. But everyones different. Might I suggest you work with your strengths. (To Nick or to whomever may need this) My delivery has always relied on my strengths, my good looks and my humor. So I act as an overconfident jokester who will once in a blue moon take a jab at himself because well.... whats funnier than seeing someone on his high horse get cut down to size? Best girl advice out their isnt in books or on google though, the best advice would come from a friend who seems to get all the women. I was struggling with my own technique when I decided to turn to a co-worker who all the girls seem to like. I asked him to pick apart my technique and to coach me on what to do. Try and emulate the people better than you as close as possible, then once you're good enough at it, put your own twist to it. I added my ****y comedy because I feel selling yourself is like selling an item at a store, you have to make it seem like you cannot live without this item. You should try it, who knows? You may even make a few friends. Me and that guy are now wingmen for eachother at work.
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Speaking of "selling yourself" (not in THAT way)... If anyone can locate a copy of "When Customers Think We Don't Care" by Doctor Richard W. Buchanan, check it out. Not only is it an awesome Marketing book (not huge either) that was revolutionary at the time he wrote it, but it also applies to everything in life - including personal relationships. It's the best self-help book I've ever encountered, and I did so simply because the infamous Dr. B decided to teach at Massey in New Zealand!
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