J Silver Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 OOC I believe I should explain how this is going to work before I begin. This will be a collection of short diaries for various promotions. I will choose to do a variety of promotions in the C-Verse as I feel like it. I will take requests as well. The Cornellverse Explored diaries began when I was unable to purchase TEW, but wanted to do a diary regardless. The length of these individual segments of the diary will be based on a set time frame of about 9- 12 shows or months before I move on to the next promotion as now I'm no longer limited by the 1-month restriction. That should do for the explanation, if anyone is still confused as to what the hell kind of thing I'm talking about you can look through the previous two Cornellverse Explored diaries linked to in the table of contents. Let me just get a few things out of the way before anyone asks. No, USPW is not dead nor is this going to be my next full time diary. I need a break from USPW, but still want to write. My USPW Dynasty can be a lot to write, mostly my own fault for continually making the shows longer and then not wanting to do less. The shows in this diary I will feel no guilt for not making overly wordy. Hopefully. Nor will my neurotic perfectionism rear it's head. Again hopefully. Some of the characters you'll see in these chapters will be similar to characters I've done in USPW, and in some cases it'll be same worker using the same character. The reason for that being that I just enjoy the character and feel I still have more to bring to it. The User Character in most of these chapters will probably be Jacob Stranton. The reason for that being that I believe I finally found my voice in writing and I've already attached a name to it. My characterization for Stranton is pretty much me anyways. Just think of these different chapters as different dimensions sharing their stories with ours, kinda like we're in an odd episode of the twilight zone. Now without further explanation, let's get started. Table of Contents TEW 2005 Chapters Diamond Dust Wrestling- Post #2- 24 Canadian Charisma Championship Combat- Post #25- 31 Canadian Golden Combat - Post #32- 46 NOTBPW - Post #47- 50 DAVE - Post #51- 65 Supreme Wrestling Federation - Post #70- DNF TEW 2007 Chapters DAVE (07 version) - Post #2- 20 Total Championship Wrestling - Post #21- 37 USPW - Post #38- 63 TEW 2008 Chapters: NEW - Post #2- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/NEW150.jpg NEW: The NEW Old Mob Mentality "My name is Jacob Stranton. If you're listening to this then I'm probably dead. Don't rejoice though or my ghost will haunt your sorry ass. As I say this I'm in the back of an unmarked white van being driven, quite recklessly I may add by multiple men in black ski masks. I've been abducted. I don't know if this is revenge for something I did or more likely something I said, but of everyone I told to piss off I never thought any had mafia connections. If I live I'll never make that mistake again. I may also be being sold into sex trafficking, though seeing as how I don't have a vagina or man-gina I kind of doubt that. Never know though. This may be the last thing I ever say, aside from possibly 'please don't kill me, I'll be your bestest friend if you don't.' but I don't want any of you to remember me as a whiny bitch on my way out, that's how you should remember me from being alive. These may be my final words, my final message to my friends and family, all three of you. I want you all to know I'm sorry for nothing and that I went out how I lived, with people very pissed off at me. As my last will and testament I leave my Xbox 360 to Matt, you broke it on me now you get to keep it you bastard. My '72 Ford can go to Jeff. You always liked to take my Pinto when your car broke, now you can have it. If you can fix it maybe you can make a whole 20 bucks off it, sell it to some kidnapper, like the one who's about to kill your cousin. And finally mom. You raised me from when I was a baby. Just thought I'd remind you since you were too drunk through most of it to remember. I hope your son's death will bring about your sobriety, although I doubt it you drunken whore. Goodbye cruel world." *Beep* "Message could not be sent. Inbox full." "F***!" I sat there in the back of that white van tumbling around with every sharp turn and running of a red light I'd imagine. My hands were cuffed together and a black bag had been thrown over my head, though I was able to move my hands to the front and remove the bag as well as get my phone out of my pocket. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say otherwise I would've just called 911 and they would've used their GPS tracking technology and satellites to triangulate my position and come to rescue me shooting the goons who abducted me. That's how it works in the movies, right? I instead decided to do what seemed like the best thing at the time, make a will. Then again with local law enforcement in mind that decision doesn't seem like a bad move. Unfortunately my battery ran dead before I could even try to send my will to anyone else or get it into my head to call the cops. I tumbled around the van, hitting my head repeatedly. I would worry about brain damage, but I don't think I'll live long enough to have to worry about the long term effects. Or long term anything for that matter. I wondered to myself how I got here, what I did, who I pissed off? I hoped to myself that I'd know those answers before I die, which probably won't be too long. All I knew was what had already happened. I woke up at noon as I usually did. I lingered in bed for about ten minutes until I did the only thing that usually gets me out, I fell on the floor. Intentionally. I took a nice, long morning piss and then proceeded to the kitchen. I poured cereal down my gullet and followed up by pouring some milk down there too. Then I went out to get the newspaper and continue my job search. I left my third floor studio apartment and down the stairs I went to my mailbox. When I got there a man with a UPS uniform on told me that he had a package for me. He proceeded to punch me in the face. I might've seen this coming, but I didn't think it too odd for a delivery man to be wearing a full face ski mask in the 27 degree weather. Again, hindsight. A few more guys in ski masks poured out of a van and tossed me into the back. Now here I am. There are no windows in the back and the front is partitioned off. Every time the van stops I think this could be it for me. Over and over at every red light and every stop sign I sat in the dark thinking that. It's like a damn mind game. Then the van stopped and the engine followed. I knew it really was it this time. The back doors of the van swung open... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 "Who are you?" "Where are you taking me?" "What's this all about?" "Am I going to die?" "Do you work out?" I asked all these questions to the two large men that dragged me out of the van. They did look like they worked out. And took an unspeakable amount of steroids. They grabbed me from under my arms and dragged me into a large building. "Where are we?" "What is this place?" "This dump looks dilapidated." "Are you going to torch this place with me inside?" One of the men, let's call him The Hulk, ripped one of his shirt sleeves clean off at the seams and then stuffed it down my throat. The other one, let's call him The Jolly Green Giant, ripped The Hulks other shirt sleeve off and blindfolded me. They dragged me through the building and up a good amount of stairs, that much I can tell. When we stopped Hulk and Jolly stood me up straight and at the prompting of a voice with an Italian accent removed the sleeves from my eyes and mouth. I opened my eyes wide. It was pitch black. Not quite an improvement, though at least now I don't have to worry about tasting pit stain. The man with the mafia accent told the two goons to leave and they did. I scanned my eyes around the room looking for any light or means by which to escape and start my new life in Mexico as Juan Santos. Then my eyes finally picked up something. I thought I might just be seeing things, they could've drugged me while I was in captivity. But no, it was clearly a small flame, the embers glowing brighter then dimmer. "Smoke?" The man in the shadows asked. I couldn't respond though as I stood there paralyzed with fear possibly being moments away from being shot, or stabbed or some combination of both. "The strong, silent type you're not I'm told. Now please, don't disrespect me, answer me." I stuttered out a word I believe sounded something like no. "Speechless, huh? I would be too in my presence. I'll give you a moment to collect yourself. Have a seat Mr. Stranton." "Am I going to die?" "I see you're talking now. Yes, Mr. Stranton, you're going to die." I let out a gulp and turned into a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm going to die. Everyone is going to die. Life is short, why squander it? Enjoy it. That's how I feel anyhows. As for what I assume the actual context of that question was, maybe, maybe not. That all depends on if you play ball or not." "What's that mean?" "I have something to offer you. I'll get to that soon enough." "Okay, but why me?" "You have no future. No one will miss you if you don't show up for Christmas dinner." I gulped again. "Please, relax Mr. Stranton." "Okay, Mr. ... umm... I don't know your name." "Sir, is what you will call me." "That doesn't really answer the question." "You asked no question. You received no answer." "Okay then. What's your name?" "*Ahem*" "What?" "Sir." "No need to call me that." "I wasn't." "Huh, oh... You, uh want me to... Really?" "Yes." "Alrighty then. What's your name sir?" "That's not pertinent." "You really made me jump through hoops just to not answer my question there, didn't you?" "If you had followed the rules you wouldn't have had to jump." "The rules? Did somebody mail a rulebook to me? If they did I didn't get it yet. Was the UPS guy supposed to give it to me before he decked me? Is it posted on the walls, like you got the mafia kidnapee amendments framed and up on here? Is it on the fridge for your parents to see and spur you on with their encouragement? Not that anyone could see anything in here anyways with all the lights off and windows nonexistent. If there is something on the walls that I'm missing here please feel free to flick your little cigarette at it. Maybe you'll hit my would-be assailant by accident in the process. I feel like I'm about to be raped." "By the media possibly." "The hell do you mean by the media? Are you gonna drug me and put me in bed with a senators wife? Try out your photography skills?" "Are you done yet?" "For the moment." "Good. You're about to be given an offer you can't refuse." "Or what? I wake up in bed with a horses decapitated head staring back at me?" "You're taking that in the wrong context." "Oh, well forgive me for that. Maybe it was the bump to the head when your goons threw me in the back of the van. Or the multiple bumps as they sped recklessly away." "It would be your wives head." "I don't have a wife." "We like to plan ahead." "I'm not going to try to interpret what that means." "You don't want to know." "Yeah, that one I do believe." "You're going to run my newest investment venture, New Evolution Wrestling." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shmoe Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 That's one of the craziest backstory's that I have ever read. This looks like it's going to be awesome, as always J. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolinc Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 That's one of the craziest backstory's that I have ever read. This looks like it's going to be awesome, as always J. It wouldn't be the Cornellverse Explored if it didn't have a crazy backstory . Can't wait to read this. The first ones were so good. Hell, that's how you started your USPW diary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 "You want me to run a wrestling company for you? You kidnapped me to make a business proposal to me? Are you f***ing kidding me?" "*Ahem*" "*Sigh* Are you f***ing kidding me sir?" "No. You'll be running NEW. As far as the world will know you will be the owner and booker of it. You will have a private investor set up through a bank no one has heard of. I will be investing $10,000 into this company and I expect to see a turnaround on my investment." "You're f***ing kidding me. Sir." "Are you refusing my offer?" "Offer? You're forcing me to do this." I hear the sound of a gun chamber sliding back and then clicking into place. The mystery man lights up another cigarette illuminating the gun through the smoke and darkness, shining with an orange glow. "And I will gladly do it." Scary mobster who'll shoot me otherwise. "Good. Cell 2-19 will be your new home for the time being." "Whoa whoa whoa, wait wait wait, hold on a sec here. Cell 2-19 is going to be my home? You're going to hold me prisoner here?" "Not prisoner, indentured servant." "Well then warden, what indentured me, huh?" "Your mouth for one. Also, you're uncooperative. They always are at first, until we break their wills." "And what if they don't break?" "They go away. Permanently." "You can't do this." "Yes, I can." "There are laws." "Not if you have friends and money." "I'm not doing this." "I'm afraid you are." "Afraid not." "Afraid so." "You're going to let me go. Or else." "Heh, or else? What can you possibly do?" "I'll reveal your name to the cops." "You don't know it." "I'll reveal your address." "You don't know it." "I'll reveal what you look like." "You don't know that either." "I'll reveal you exist." "Then I'll reveal your psychotic episode." "What psychotic episode?" "One phone call and your record'll show one." "You don't have the power to do that." "Do you doubt me?" "Yeah, as a matter of fact I do ." "You should pay that traffic ticket of yours." "What traffic ticket?" "Call the court tomorrow morning." "What? You can't do that." "Keep it up and she'll be underage." "I mean can't as a matter morality, not ability sir." "There's no morals in politics or business. You'll learn." "Don't think I want to." "*ahem*" "Sir." "Let's get started..." <hr> Should only be one or two more backstory posts before I get the show up tomorrow, although understandable if you don't believe me about the show being up on this coming Thursday. Track record and all. In the meantime here's the card for the first show. As always bonus points for correct match ratings. NEW In Town: Official Preview: -Championship Tournament Qualifier- Eddie Howard vs. Dean Waldorf -Championship Tournament Qualifier- Cameron Vessey vs. Bradford Peverelli -Geoff Bourne vs. "Xtreme" Xavier Quest -Cal Sanders vs. The Mistress (Note: Xavier Quest is Xavier Reckless and The Mistress is Power Girl) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolinc Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 This is basically guessing at this point, but... -Championship Tournament Qualifier- Eddie Howard vs. Dean Waldorf -Championship Tournament Qualifier- Cameron Vessey vs. Bradford Peverelli -Geoff Bourne vs. "Xtreme" Xavier Quest -Cal Sanders vs. The Mistress DQ from The Mistress's umm slave? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 Today is January 19, 2008. About two weeks ago I was abducted by mafia goons and forced by a mysterious, shadowy figure to run and operate his wrestling promotion using his $10,000 investment. Sound like something I took out of a movie? Yeah, that's what the cops thought too. Apparently my case was filed in the same place as they file very special reports, like UFO's, or Bigfoot ate my baby or the coup de grâce, I was anally probed. By an alien. On their spaceship. In the middle of a cornfield. So, needless to say the cops were no help to me. I would've tried fleeing to Mexico, but there's a white van parked across the street from me. It's been there since The Hulk and The Jolly Green Giant threw me out the back of it. Besides, you try getting to Mexico in a 35 year old Pinto, much less outrunning a van full of mobsters. Hell, even outrunning a bicycle. Hopeless for a means of escape I did the only thing I could do, write a Will, on paper this time. Once that was done I just accepted the fact that I would be at the bottom of the river soon enough, assuming that's still what mobsters do. I made to sure to leave the part about what my assumed means of death would be in my will anyway. Maybe someone'll fish my body out. Once I got bored waiting for my inevitable death to come, a whole two hours later, I decided "What the hell, let's give this booking thing a shot." I used my new mob connections that I got from The Hulk, The Jolly Green Giant and another mobster who I refer to as The Fairy (they can't all have tough nicknames) and I started to make some calls. I had plenty of free time to do so, as when you're staring death in the eyes getting a new job just isn't a priority. I began looking on the internet for any means by which I could scout some wrestlers that I could afford, and are half decent. That's when I stumbled across the website Cornellslist . org. It's like a virtual shopping list of wrestlers looking for work. The best part was that the website utilized the Adam Ryland Statistical Evaluation Honorable Online Library Explorer System. The ARSEHOLES basically told me who sucked and who didn't. Though I mostly had to settle with the former seeing as how money's a little tight and the tighter money is, the tighter the noose around my neck gets. I set up interviews with least 50 different workers, I signed 27. Needless to say there were a lot of hurt feelings by those who didn't get signed. No need to worry though, it'll be evened out soon enough once the workers who signed realize I can't keep any of the promises I made to them. Mostly paying them. I doubt I'll be able to do that very often. My roster was signed and I even made sure to hire a ref and announcers. Hustler D, the shock-jock midget clown and Remmington Remus will be my commentary team, which will be interesting. They were cheap signings though, and that's all that matters. I got Hustler D for half off (I'm so going to Hell for that one) and I got the Remus twins at buy one get on half off. Once the roster was signed it was onto getting a venue. The Fairy acquired a suitable building for the job. How the lug pulled it off I doubt I want to know. The date was set, January 19th would be the debut for New Evolution Wrestling with NEW In Town. The storylines have been scribbled out and this promotion is now in the rosters hands to be a success. I've done my part to ensure that the little promotion founded on extortion, kidnapping and murder made it to a first show. I hope to survive the night... <hr> Promotion Details: http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/NEW150.jpg New Evolution Wrestling/ NEW http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/NEW/NEWBanner.jpg Location: New England Size: Regional Prestige: E- Ranking: 27th Product: Match Ratio- (80%- Event, 70%- TV) Face/ Heel Divide- Medium Women's Division- Integrated Match Intensity- 60% Match Danger- 70% Traditional- Medium Mainstream- Medium Comedy- Low Risque- Low Modern- Key Feature <hr> Now as a preview of the roster I'll put up the bracket for the NEW ERA Championship Title Tournament: Round 1- Roderick Remus vs. Whiskey Jack Round 1- "The Hotshot" Cameron Vessey vs. "AVN Nominee" Bradford Peverelli Round 1- Eddie Howard vs. "Deadly" Dean Waldorf Round 1- DC Rayne vs. Dazzling Dave Diamond Round 1 -"Insomniac" Geoff Bourne vs. Insane Machine Round 1 -Private Moose (Jeremiah Moose) vs. "The Dragon's Daughter" Ginko Kuroda Round 1 -OG Ninja (Rudy Velasquez) vs. Archnemesis (Ash Campbell) Round 1 -Cal Sanders vs. Findlay O'Farraday <hr> Next post will be the show sometime tomorrow. In the meantime here are the predictions. As always bonus points for correct match ratings. NEW In Town: Official Preview: -Championship Tournament Qualifier- Eddie Howard vs. Dean Waldorf -Championship Tournament Qualifier- Cameron Vessey vs. Bradford Peverelli -Geoff Bourne vs. "Xtreme" Xavier Quest -Cal Sanders vs. The Mistress (Note: Xavier Quest is Xavier Reckless and The Mistress is Power Girl) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praguepride Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 NEW In Town: Official Preview: -Championship Tournament Qualifier- Eddie Howard vs. Dean Waldorf - E- -Championship Tournament Qualifier- Cameron Vessey vs. Bradford Peverelli - E+ -Geoff Bourne vs. "Xtreme" Xavier Quest - E -Cal Sanders vs. The Mistress - E+ Interesting integration. I would wish you good luck but from what I can understand this has already happened... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted April 2, 2009 Author Share Posted April 2, 2009 NEW: NEW promotion, same old great taste Let's get this show started. <hr> http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t206/Jsilver532/NEW/NEWDBancopy.jpg NEW In Town Friday, Week 3, January 2008 Held at The Den Att. 1,700 Main Show -Hustler D and Remmington Remus welcome everyone who actually bought or pirated this DVD to the very first New Evolution Wrestling show and set the tone for the evening. Remus: "Hello there everyone, I'm Remmington Remus." D: "And I'm Hustler D bitches. Anyone makes a little joke at me and I'll whip my d*** out and show you just how little I am." Remus: "Uhh... Welcome everyone to New Evolution Wrestling. You're here as history goes down." D: "You should be in my dressing room when bitches go down. You want some p****? I can get you some." Rem: "Thank you, but no, no thank you." D: "You look like you could use some p****. I got hot bitches who'll give it up for free." Rem: "I'm just fine, thank you." D: "You some kind of virgin?" Rem: "No." D: "Queer?" Rem: "No." D: "I don't get you man." Rem: "Can we just try to keep this professional?" D: "F*** no. Haven't you ever heard my ****ing radio show?" Rem: "Can't say I have." D: "**** man! I have to work with some uptight queer bait who never heard my show? F*** man!" Rem: "Anyways, welcome to NEW In Town and thank you for purchasing this DVD." D: "Or stealing this s*** you cheap ****ing bastards." Rem: "Let's get this show underway." -We kick off our first show in the backstage area. The Mistress is in the women's locker room digging through her stuff when a flash of light startles her. She closes her locker and stares, slightly blinded at what caused the flash. And then comes the next flash. "Yeah, hold that pose babe." Bradford Peverelli says in his trademark French accent as he snaps a photo of Mistress. She looks angry at him, she also looks a little blinded. "Good. You're angry, good motivation. Somebodies been a bad boy, you want to punish him." Peverelli keeps snapping photos as Mistress tries to get her hands around his neck, but keeps having to stop as the camera flashes. "Keep it up babe, you're hot stuff." Then a fist comes out of nowhere and crumples a locker door near his face. Peverelli is startled, but not for long. He regains his composure, being a professional and all. "Hey, I don't do guys. Out of the frame, you're ruining my shot." He says as he tries to shoo away an angry Dean Waldorf. Waldorf responds by stepping between Mistress and Peverelli and cracking his knuckles followed by his neck, preparing to kick someone's ass. "Well, I got everything I needed. I'll just be getting out of your hair now. Call me babe, we'll do lunch." (E+) -Geoff Bourne vs. Xavier Quest- And the first match in NEW involves Xavier. Yup. That should speak volumes about quality. Like the fact that there is none. The match was a mess that nearly had all 1,700 people who for some reason paid to come and watch this crap leave and ask for a refund. A refund could mean my life at this point, literally. Quest bounced around the ring not looking like he knew what he was doing, which I'm sure is true. Bourne on the other hand was stumbling around the ring looking like he could doze off at any second. In front of 1,700 people. 1,700 paying people. I may have to work that into a gimmick. The competitors were lazy and incompetent. The match was a disaster. The crowd were not happy. In the end Quest put away Bourne with a Slingshot DDT. Bourne was out like a light for the 3 count. I think he may have actually been snoring. Winner: Xavier Quest in 8:59 Rating (E) -"The Hotshot" Cameron Vessey is backstage getting ready for his match later tonight when a victorious Xavier Quest comes walking around backstage gloating to everyone how he just won a match. He then gets to Vessey. Quest: "I won! TO THE XTREME!!!" Vessey: "What'd you win? A shouting contest?" Quest: "I won a match! TO THE XTREME!!!" Vessey: "Good for you. It's nice to know I work for an equal opportunities employer for the mentally unfortunate." Quest: "Do you know who I am? I'm a winner! TO THE XTREME!!!" Vessey: "Who the hell are you anyway? Not that I really care, I just like to know the names of who's on my sh*t list." Quest: "I'm Xavier Quest! And I'm on a Quest! TO THE-" Vessey: "Extreme. Yeah, I got it the first time you shouted it actually. Are you by any chance related to Johnny Quest?" Quest: "No! Why do you ask?" Vessey: "Because you both look queer and you both annoy the **** out of me." Quest: "I am not annoying!" Vessey: "You know, it says a lot about you that that's the one you deny first." Quest: "I'm not annoying!" Vessey: "But you are annoying. To the extreme. Now get the hell out of my face, I got a match to get ready for." Vessey walks off while Quest looks on angrily, "Not cool. TO THE XTREME!!!" (E) -Cal Sanders vs. The Mistress w/ Dean Waldorf- The match had good chemistry. That's about all the good the match had. Apparently the crowd were angry that two jobbers got to have a match on the show. How dare they call Cal Sanders a jobber. He is not a jobber, he just jobs a lot. Like he did in this match. Mistress out-powered Sanders here and it didn't help that he was terrified of the onlooking Waldorf. Mistress finished him off with a Lashing and got the easy 3- count. Winner: The Mistress in 6:52 Rating (F) -Cal Sanders mopes backstage after his loss to The Mistress. He walks around muttering to himself about how he feels like a loser. And then because nothing around here can possibly be normal... "I won! TO THE XTREME!!!" Xavier Quest is still running around bragging about how he won a match. Sanders: "Well gosh, there's no call to rub it in like that." Quest: "Yeah, you lost! To a girl! You lost! TO THE XTREME!!!" Sanders: "She was tough though." Quest: "She was a girl! TO THE XTREME!!! And you lost! TO THE XTREME!!!" Sanders: "B-b-but- but she- she she was a tough girl." He stutters out. Quest: "And you lost! TO THE XTREME!!! You're not a man dude!" Sanders looks like he's going to break down in tears as Quest runs off to brag to someone else about his victory. (F+) -NEW ERA Tournament Qualifier- Cameron Vessey vs. Bradford Peverelli- This would be our match of the night, at a measly D-. That's what the top of my roster can achieve. I'm so ****ed. Anyways, as for what happened during the match itself the two competitors were pretty evenly matched. It looked as though Vessey was going to put Peverelli away with a Vessey Driver v.2, but Xavier Quest came down to the ring and distracted the ref. He also distracted Vessey who took his attention off of Peverelli. That gave him a chance to grab his camera and spin Vessey around catching him by surprise with a blinding flash. Peverelli framed him up and knocked him out with a Hollywood Hook. The ref turned his attention back to the action and counted the pin-fall. Winner: Bradford Peverelli in 14:44 Rating (D-) -Pain Is Pleasure, the team of "Deadly" Dean Waldorf and The Mistress are in the interview area, which is basically just a bed sheet next to a stack of milk crates with a little 13" TV on top of it. The sheet has stains on it, in case anyone's wondering. The Mistress does most of the talking for Waldorf, although he adds in his occasional quip about how he's going to beat someone's ass. A man of few words he is, mostly because they're all he actually knows. The Mistress hyped Waldorf up for his match against the clean cut Eddie Howard saying that there's no room in NEW for morals and athletics, it's about survival of the fittest. Whoever can kick who's ass is all that matters here and Dean can kick everyone's ass. Waldorf chips in with a "Yeah, I can kick everyone's pathetic ass." before finishing off his can of beer and then smashing it into his head, crumpling it and then throwing it at the camera. "That's what I'm gonna do to you Eddie. Your ass is a can and I'm gonna drink it up and then smash it into my head." The Mistress just looks at him after that comment. "What?" (E-) -NEW ERA Tournament Qualifier- Eddie Howard vs. Dean Waldorf w/ Mistress- Ladies, gentlemen, degenerates and those with nothing better to do than read this, we have arrived at the main event of the evening. And it sucked. Big surprise there, huh? Waldorf beats relentlessly on Howard. Howard rallies and makes a big comeback. Mistress distracts Howard and the ref allowing Waldorf to get in a few cheap shots. They go back and forth for a little while. Waldorf takes the upper hand and he finishes Howard with a Waldorf Salad Toss. A salad toss, yeah, a real tough guy move. Either way he salad tosses his way to victory and moves on in the tourny. Winner: Dean Waldorf in 17:58 Rating (E+) -Waldorf has won the match, but his violent nature has taken charge as he decides he isn't done with Howard. He gets on top of Howard and drives his fists brutally into his face until Mistress eases him off. She brings out her cat o' nine tails whip, or cat for short (I'm going to have to try very hard not to cross any boundaries with jokes about that), a nine-tailed whipping device. Waldorf rolls Howard onto his stomach leaving his bare back exposed. The Mistress takes her cat and lashes it across Howards back. He screams in pain, but Waldorf holds him down. She whips him again. Rem: "She's taking the cat and she's whipping him. Somebody help him." D: "He's getting p*ssy whipped, haha." Remmington's call is answered as Howards partner, DC Rayne has seen enough. Rayne runs down and gets into the ring, the heels bail out. Rayne goes to check up on his partner as Waldorf and Mistress walk up the shoddy Persian carpeting to the back. They're stopped though as music plays on the stereo system indicating somebodies coming out. Out of the entranceway comes Commissioner Doom. (Okay, so he doesn't sign until next month. Just pretend with me here.) He has a live mic. Doom: "Conflabit, what in the blue blazes is going on here? Why back in my day people got whipped all the time. I got whipped once for not shooting a cat. Ah, those were the days back when men were men, not chickens. You two are chickens, BAGAWK! When someone points a gun to your head you don't run away, you stand up to them and shoot them back. Or kick them in the balls if you have to. Back in the Cold War of Antarctica The Polar bears forces had pinned me down and put a gun to my head. They shot me in cold weather." Rayne, Howard, Waldorf and Mistress all look at Doom with a confused look about their faces as he stands there saying nothing. Doom: "Tag Team match conflabit." Doom leaves as the ref re-enters the ring. Waldorf and Mistress carefully proceed back to the ring and we have a match. Another crappy match... (F+) -Natural Storm vs. Pain Is Pleasure- And the night comes full circle to end with a match as bad as the one it started with which is kinda saying something since we started the night with Xavier. The match was fairly even between the two teams as they went at it. In the end Howard took care of Waldorf as Rayne put away The Mistress with Storm Damage. Winners: Natural Storm in 9:32 Rating (E) -Natural Storm, Eddie Howard and DC Rayne stand tall at the end of our first ever show. Howard may not be moving on in the tournament, but he got his revenge and Rayne still has a chance to advance next month when he goes against Dazzling Dave Diamond. Rem: "Thank you all for joining us for this first NEW show. We hope to see you again." D: "Yeah, what he said. And buy the next DVD you cheap bastards!" (E-) Final Rating (E) -Well, that sucked. -But I made $40,000 because of it this month and quintupled what we started at. -I guess it just sucked in spirit. -And execution. -And quality. The Evolved Post Show Recap: -Xavier Quest defeated Geoff Bourne (E) -Mistress defeated Cal Sanders (F) -Bradford Peverelli defeated Cameron Vessey (D-) -Dean Waldorf defeated Eddie Howard (E+) -Natural Storm defeated Pain Is Pleasure (E) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolinc Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 I could have told you that those matches would have sucked. Though it was still fun to read...TO THE XTREME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Silver Posted April 4, 2009 Author Share Posted April 4, 2009 It was the day after the show. The show, NEW In Town was a success, somewhat. It made The Grand Mobster a lot of money and in the process of doing so made me alive for another month. In terms of quality though, you couldn't pay me to watch that crap. I probably would if a gun was pointed at my head though, which is a lot these days. Speaking of which here comes The Fairy, and surprise, surprise he has a gun. The Fairy tells me that The Boss wants to see me. Of course my mouth couldn't help but tempt fate, "Ooh, is he giving me recess time? Or conjugal visits maybe?" The Fairy just opened my cell and pistol whipped me. He said it was a warning strike, next'll be a warning shot. He accompanied me to The Boss' office and then threw me into the dark room. Does nobody pay the electric bill around here? "You made me money." "That's a good thing, right?" "People who make me money tend to live longer." "That is a good thing." "Just don't try to screw me over." "Wouldn't dream of it." Wouldn't dream of dying either. "Good. Now continue making me money." "It would be my pleasure." As though I actually have a choice in this matter Mr. Scary Anonymous Gangster who'll kill me without a second thought. "Good. You're dismissed." "That means the meeting's over, right? Not take him behind the building and shoot him, right?" "Leave." "Okay. Leaving now." I turned to go, but then that little part of me that doesn't take possible ramifications into effect, my selfless conscience I believe it is, just had to ask something. "Um, there is just one thing though sir." "What?" he growls at me before taking another puff of his cigar. "You need to do something about the thugs at the show. They're scaring the wrestlers." "They're staying. I need to protect my investments." "You're going to scare them all away. You call that protecting your investments?" "You're the public face, you figure something out." "I tried already. I told them there was a terrorist scare in the area and that these nice, undercover, off-duty officers with Uzi's, switchblades and matching dragon tattoos were just here to protect them." "And?" "That just scared them more." "Deal with it. And tell them to deal with it." "But-" "Out." He says as I hear the hammer of a gun clicking and see the glow from the cigar shining on the metal. I don't utter another syllable, I just turn and leave. Back to cell 2-19 I go to rot away. And run the company. Yup, run a company from a jail cell. Not that that's never been done before. As far as the security problem goes, if the workers want to go up to the nice, undercover, off-duty, Uzi wielding security guards and complain about their job performance they can be my guest. One less complainer... <hr> OOC: I've decided on what a few of the chapters to come in this diary will be, though nothing's set in stone and I'm still open to suggestions. I plan to do Harlem Wrestling Alliance for the C-Verse 1975 mod which will hopefully be done sometime in the near future. I also plan on doing a TCW chapter and possibly a USPW chapter. Finally, I'd like to do a multiplayer game for this diary with another three writers. I'd like to do one in real time over the course of a month and more-so I'd really like to do it with an all-star cast of writers. Anyone who's interested in that (And has had a successful dynasty) drop me a PM. Next show will be up on Monday, and I actually mean it, it's not just meaningless words now. <hr> Official Preview for NEW To The Action: NEW ERA Championship Tournament Matches: -DC Rayne vs. Dazzling Dave Diamond -Private Moose vs. Ginko Kuroda -Cal Sanders vs. Findlay O'Farraday -Roderick Remus vs. Whiskey Jack -Insane Machine vs. Geoff Bourne -OG Ninja vs. Archnemesis Predictions, comments, anything to let me know someone other than foolinc is actually reading, feedback, etc. always welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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