Stennick Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Honestly I think getting with another chic for the sole purpose of playing it cool and the fact that you have another chic already in mind is realy f'n coldhearted man. What if this chic started to like you in the same way you like your ex? You'd be better off just TELLING here there is someone else. How the heck will she know the difference. Make up a story. That being said she's gone man. If she broke up with you, tears or no tears its going to take more than you "deciding" you want her back. I know you don't want to hear it and I know you've decided that you're getting her back. However the best way to clear the air is to go to her and just be honest. Tell her what you've said here. This sneaking around it and trying to romance her like some romantic comedy is going to be a huge waste of time that could be better served just being up front. I've found in my dealings with women that if your just upfront and honest (to a degree) you'll get a lot farther than if you play around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfRoMaN36 Posted September 9, 2009 Author Share Posted September 9, 2009 Honestly I think getting with another chic for the sole purpose of playing it cool and the fact that you have another chic already in mind is realy f'n coldhearted man. What if this chic started to like you in the same way you like your ex? You'd be better off just TELLING here there is someone else. How the heck will she know the difference. Make up a story. That being said she's gone man. If she broke up with you, tears or no tears its going to take more than you "deciding" you want her back. I know you don't want to hear it and I know you've decided that you're getting her back. However the best way to clear the air is to go to her and just be honest. Tell her what you've said here. This sneaking around it and trying to romance her like some romantic comedy is going to be a huge waste of time that could be better served just being up front. I've found in my dealings with women that if your just upfront and honest (to a degree) you'll get a lot farther than if you play around. We've both been totally open and honest with one another and we have been since day 1. She doesn't hide the fact that she's hurting either. I'm just as confused as she is however. She knows this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthsiddus2 Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 if she broke up with you that means your relationship is finished. caput finito! if a guy breaks up with a girl there's always room for improvement but if a girl breaks up with a guy the relationship is over. sorry dude but your sh*t outa luck on this one. maybe further down the line she'll regret her decision but right now its finished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TDubTNA Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Afroman I know how you feel man..I'm semi going through the same thing you are. My ex broke up with me a few months ago..We had been going out for almost three years. If she broke up with you it's over man. As much as I hate to say it. She may say she still loves you and she most likely still does but at the end of the day it's about you man. I had a terrible relationship before the relationship I was just in. That also lasted about 3 years (maybe I should get out before the 3 year mark instead of getting dumped. haha) The relationship with my ex ex GF didn't help me prepare for the relationship I was just in. I was incredibly bitter and once it started getting more serious I got real guarded to make sure what had happen to me before didn't happen again. I get what you're saying that she didn't get to know the real you but IMHO I think you should fall back man. Don't try and get with a new broad just to get with a new one and hope that the old chick will want you back. Won't work at all homey. I think you should just chill out and live you're life without a girl at the moment. Live you're life man. People say **** happens for a reason so if at some point this chick wants to get back with you..then great but if not, then don't be bummed about it. Move on man. I wish you luck in the future man. I know what you're going through man. It's tough but trust me you'll get through it. Just live you're life man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublin Sky Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Sometimes you just gotta move on bra....we've all been here before. I say forget about her and if she happens to come back into your life then so be it. Now I know its easier said than done but i've been where you are before just be strong hang with a lot of other girls to keep your mind off her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappyboy Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Afroman, I wholeheartedly disagree with you though. I think you're shirking responsibility here. You say that the person she came to know 'wasn't really you' and if that's the case, who was he? What's the name on that guy's ID say? I'm about to get really 'new age' here but that person was you. He was an aspect of your personality. He could be you again if the circumstances were right. I believe that every experience we have becomes a part of us on some level. It becomes another drop of water in the well of wisdom we can draw from. Lessons learned, secrets kept, the experiences of those close to and around us, all of that becomes part of who we are as people. When I was younger, I had a temper, a borderline murderous temper. That didn't mean I flipped out when someone looked at me wrong. I had a long fuse but once I got to the end of it, someone was going to have a lengthy stay in a medical institution. I caught a case at 8 for beating a bully to within an inch of his life. I didn't have to go to Family Court because I defended myself, I had to go because of the extent of the injuries said bully suffered. The presiding judge looked at all the testimony and threw the case out. BUT she ordered that I had to seek counseling to control said temper. Now, does that mean that the person who beat the snot out of a bully and consciously tried to kill him "wasn't me"? No. I still have a temper. The difference is, I learned gee, almost 30 years ago, to control and focus that anger in constructive ways. It fuels me, in essence. That's why I have a problem with her actions. You're not going to be 'happy go lucky' or 'James Bond' every day. What happens when you're 'Homer Simpson'? Is she gonna bail again? Can you be sure she's 'down to ride' or is she going to evaporate when the heat is on, like a morning mist? That may not be important to you right now, but eventually it will be. Man I read this and I so wish I didn't have this cold right now. My head feels like its sealed away from the rest of me by a brick wall. So I'll have to settle to pointing at Remi and saying "Yeah. What he said." Hopefully I can fight off the congestion and return to this to be pithy while it's still relevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthsiddus2 Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 just don't be a jackenapes when you opine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfRoMaN36 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 Well she called me today. She asked me about my FB (My statuses are pretty optimistic for a man who's just been dumped. A lot of girls on it too. Not intentionally though) I tried to act as neutral and cheerful as possible and even asked if she wanted to talk tomorrow. She accepted. Then she revealed something that tore me inside. She was dating her ex and she loves him. At first I tried to brush it off. But it later sunk in and I told myself I don't want to be back with her. I deserve way better than this. Then I called her and told her I wanted to cut ties. Then she went bi polar and went from hostile, defensive and angry to apologetic, crying then back to angry then she told me she loved me as a person. I told her the same and we hung up. I feel somewhat empowered and a bit better now that this is behind me. I love her but I deserve someone who will treat me better. I know she didn't mean to hurt me, but I can't take that. Friend, girlfriend whatever. I need to put her in my past and move on. Thanks for your advice everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BurningHamster Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Bitchez ain't s*** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfRoMaN36 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 Word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FINisher Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Word. Plenty of fish in the sea and so on. Life continues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BurningHamster Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 <p>Also perhaps now you can try the peeing in her mailbox thing I suggested.</p><p> </p><p> Seriously dude, yall have to get your kicks somehow.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfRoMaN36 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="BurningHamster" data-cite="BurningHamster" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="24464" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Also perhaps now you can try the peeing in her mailbox thing I suggested.<p> </p><p> Seriously dude, yall have to get your kicks somehow.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Her ex boyfriends Bi-Polar.</p><p> </p><p> She has Borderline personality disorder.</p><p> </p><p> Those will bring plenty of kicks and giggles for me.</p><p> </p><p> I win in the end because I'm not her. My life is starting to take off, I'll simply find someone who will like me for who I am.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BurningHamster Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="AfRoMaN36" data-cite="AfRoMaN36" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="24464" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Her ex boyfriends Bi-Polar.<p> </p><p> She has Borderline personality disorder.</p><p> </p><p> Those will bring plenty of kicks and giggles for me.</p><p> </p><p> I win in the end because I'm not her. My life is starting to take off, I'll simply find someone who will like me for who I am.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> That's all good and I certainly see the point of people who believe success is the best revenge.</p><p> </p><p> I just happen to think that succeeding while messing with people in childish ways is even better. But then I am a lonely and some would say retarded man.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remianen Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="AfRoMaN36" data-cite="AfRoMaN36" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="24464" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Well she called me today. She asked me about my FB (My statuses are pretty optimistic for a man who's just been dumped. A lot of girls on it too. Not intentionally though) I tried to act as neutral and cheerful as possible and even asked if she wanted to talk tomorrow. She accepted. Then she revealed something that tore me inside.<p> </p><p> She was dating her ex and she loves him.</p><p> </p><p> At first I tried to brush it off. But it later sunk in and I told myself I don't want to be back with her. I deserve way better than this. Then I called her and told her I wanted to cut ties. Then she went bi polar and went from hostile, defensive and angry to apologetic, crying then back to angry then she told me she loved me as a person. I told her the same and we hung up.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Please allow me to apologize in advance but....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA</p><p> </p><p> Sometimes it hurts being this right. <img alt=":(" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="AfRoMaN36" data-cite="AfRoMaN36" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="24464" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Her ex boyfriends Bi-Polar.<p> </p><p> She has Borderline personality disorder.</p><p> </p><p> Those will bring plenty of kicks and giggles for me.</p><p> </p><p> I win in the end because I'm not her. My life is starting to take off, I'll simply find someone who will like me for who I am.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Wait, lemme get this straight. You were jonesing over Sybil??? You're pulling a Hamlet over a Nutta Butta? I don't mean to make light of mental illness but jeez. You did the right thing. Now I'll go into my spiel.</p><p> </p><p> There are decisions every woman makes in life that she wishes she could 'do over'. Making fun of the 'nerds' in high school, who turn out to later be the employers of the 'cool' kids you chased around. Rejecting a guy because he wasn't 'edgy' enough in order to get involved with the guy who "helped" you go to work with Angelina Jolie lips, botox free! I'll tell you this from blessed experience: success is the best revenge. <strong><em>Nothing</em></strong> beats it. When you run into an ex or someone you were once interested in who rejected you for some superficial reason and you find out that while you were busting your hump climbing the ladder of success, they were drinking drainpipe water (comparatively speaking). When the same people who swore you'd never amount to anything, come to you practically begging you to fund an event they want to have. When the woman who dumps you because she prefers 'bad boys' finds out years later what you did in a former life while trying to get into Lincoln Tech so she can support her five kids by three different men (none of whom are active in their childrens' lives or even acknowledge them as their children) then tries to seduce you (Child, please. Time has not been kind to you), there is no better feeling in the world. None.</p><p> </p><p> So you handle your business and don't ever let another woman get you so twisted, you don't recognize yourself. It's not worth it. Realize that there are many, many, many women (especially in the US with our contradictory culture) who don't even love and respect themselves so there's no way they're going to love and respect anyone else. Also, learn to discern the difference between a 'woman' and a 'bitch'. Ol' girl you was fiendin' over, fits into the latter category.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FINisher Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Hear hear, couldn't have said it any better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Self Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 <p>No wonder people get man-crushes on Remi...</p><p> </p><p> Note to Self: Start succeeding in life.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfRoMaN36 Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 <p>Haha! Normally, I'd get angry when Remi is right. This time it feels great. She's dating a barista at starbucks (I used to work there. She currently does) I just got hired to be a security guard and I have full health benefits at a wage that will dwarf hers and his. I lost over 30 pounds and am now a lean, mean 157. Plus I'm still going to school to become a radiologist. (I may drop it to become a cop however) but in the end, I have all this... And she's a broke, nut case barista dating another broke nut case barista who is shorter than me in more ways than one.</p><p> </p><p> To quote Borat.. "GREAT SUCESS!!"</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shmoe Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="AfRoMaN36" data-cite="AfRoMaN36" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="24464" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Haha! Normally, I'd get angry when Remi is right. This time it feels great. She's dating a barista at starbucks (I used to work there. She currently does) I just got hired to be a security guard and I have full health benefits at a wage that will dwarf hers and his. I lost over 30 pounds and am now a lean, mean 157. Plus I'm still going to school to become a radiologist. (I may drop it to become a cop however) but in the end, I have all this... And she's a broke, nut case barista dating another broke nut case barista who is shorter than me in more ways than one.<p> </p><p> To quote Borat.. "GREAT SUCESS!!"</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Much respect bro, much respect.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moon_lit_tears Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Ok I stopped reading after Astil talked about his mabhood. From the females side of this. I have been on both sides. If she cried when she broke up with you then there is more to it. I would say this call her. Ask her to meet you somewhere public, like for coffee or something. Tel her how you feel. If she has feelings for you she will understand and give it a try. On the other hand she may reject the idea. Women can be a pain. No mattwr the outcome you have to tell her. If you let it go you will always wonder. Why do I get the feeling Pregue is single ? lol;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfRoMaN36 Posted September 14, 2009 Author Share Posted September 14, 2009 Ok I stopped reading after Astil talked about his mabhood. From the females side of this. I have been on both sides. If she cried when she broke up with you then there is more to it. I would say this call her. Ask her to meet you somewhere public, like for coffee or something. Tel her how you feel. If she has feelings for you she will understand and give it a try. On the other hand she may reject the idea. Women can be a pain. No mattwr the outcome you have to tell her. If you let it go you will always wonder. Why do I get the feeling Pregue is single ? lol;D I was trying to do that before she told me she was dating her ex. Right now I have no interest in dating her and I'm already talking to someone else. Maybe sometime down the line. But right now? No way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moon_lit_tears Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I was trying to do that before she told me she was dating her ex. Right now I have no interest in dating her and I'm already talking to someone else. Maybe sometime down the line. But right now? No way. Don't wait too long tho. If you honestly want her back you cant sit on it and wait.. Just don't let your chance pas you by. You will never forgive yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfRoMaN36 Posted September 14, 2009 Author Share Posted September 14, 2009 Don't wait too long tho. If you honestly want her back you cant sit on it and wait.. Just don't let your chance pas you by. You will never forgive yourself. Well considering she dumped me when I was falling for her and in a bad place for her ex boyfriend. Considering she told me the day before we broke up that I'm more important to her than he is and the other day she told me she loves him. She can wait. Considering what I've been through, she's lucky I don't hate her guts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moon_lit_tears Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Well considering she dumped me when I was falling for her and in a bad place for her ex boyfriend. Considering she told me the day before we broke up that I'm more important to her than he is and the other day she told me she loves him. She can wait. Considering what I've been through, she's lucky I don't hate her guts. If you don't mind me asking how old are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfRoMaN36 Posted September 15, 2009 Author Share Posted September 15, 2009 If you don't mind me asking how old are you? 20. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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