HindSightBeyondSight Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Our Father Who's A* in overness Ryland be thy name Thy Cornellverse come Thy booking be done At tapings as it is in houseshows Give us this ring Our squared circle And forgive us our politics As we forgive those who politic against us And lead us not into who's not But deliver us from time decline For thine is the cornellverse, The travel expenses and the merchandise For ever and ever Adam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HindSightBeyondSight Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 ‘Please be seated,’ said the Rydinal in a hushed tone. The old man shuffled towards the lectern as the congregation took their seats. ‘It is good to see so many familiar faces have made it here this AM. The first worship of the year is an important one…but it is true to say it is often overshadowed by, shall we say, ‘the festivities,’ of news years eve…’ The congregations chuckled in unison, as they nursed their sore heads. ‘ Let us remember, then, that the book of Charisma the Carpenter makes much mention of alcohol flowing verily during the times of Adam. Perhaps we are not so different from our creator afterall…’ Terry Lambert ran to the church steps but the doors had already been closed. He murmured something unrepeatable under his breath before slowly forcing the oak barricade open, trying with all his might not to make it creak. The Rydinal continued his sermon as Terry searched for a seat, stealthily making his way through the church. ‘Hey, over here, Cuz!’ shouted Giuseppe Lamberti, whose ninja sense was sorely lacking. Terry apologised and took his seat next to his much older cousin. ‘ As this is a new year, and we ask for new beginnings, let us look back at the beginnings of our Cornellverse with the hope that we can gain a better understanding of our own existence. The first reading is from the book of GreyDog, chapter one, verse one…’ ‘ On the first day, Adam created The Cornellverse, and the earth On the second day, he looked into the void of the darkness and it was not awesome, so Adam said, ‘let there be pyro’ and pyro of every colour lit up the waters. Adam saw that it was awesome, and called the pyro ‘AM,’ and the darkness ‘PM’ On the third day, Adam created canvas. Canvas of many kinds rose verily through the waters, soft and springy, hard and coarse, even canvas with trapdoors rested upon the waters. Adam saw that it was awesome and named the waters the sea’s and the canvas the land. On the fourth day, Adam created the sun, the moon and the stars, of which a maximum of five could be awarded. The stars were later replaced with a more in depth letter grading system, from F- to A* On the fifth day, Adam created the birds, the fish, and the land animals. He also created the fans, blessed them, and gave them the power to multiply or divide depending on the economy and popularity of the region. On the sixth day, Adam created the characters. He crafted them in his own vision, then supplied them with masks, face paints, hats and beards with which to make themselves stand out. On the seventh day, Adam saw all he created, saw that it was awesome, and rested. In the PM, he saw that some of his land animals were causing problems for the fans. He named the animals ‘bugs’ and vowed to rid them from the land. So Adam created many patches which he placed over the bugs, and lo they did disperse, and the fans rejoiced….’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HindSightBeyondSight Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 ‘Good AM everybody, and welcome to Real Wrestle Radio, 100% wrestling 78% of the time! We’ve got a stacked show for you this AM, including an exclusive Sam Stragavelli interview as well as an in depth look at rising star Halloween…’ Giuseppe Lamberti pulled the earpiece out of Terry Lambert’s ear. ‘Show some respect wills you, kid? You’re in the house of Adam for Ryland’s sake!’ Terry tutted and sat up straight in the pew. ‘I don’t know why you insist on draggin me here, cuz. I mean, you really believe this crock?’ That Adam created everything in a week?’ Giuseppe clipped Terry around the ear, and would have done it harder, if it wasn’t for the rest of the congregation. ‘It don’t matter what I believe does it kid? Take a look around you, everybody here; they all go to your show Cuz. You gotta show your face, do a little schmoozing, stop the wrestling industry from falling! You and me both know were at B minus at best at the moment…’ ‘B minus…where do they get this crap? B minus says who?’ ‘B minus says this whole area, B minus says the whole Tri-State region…’ ‘Yeah, well, the Tri State can go suck eggs!’ ‘Hey! You kiss your momma with that mouth? Look, Cuz…Times is tough, the economies in worse shape than the industry. They’re saying D+ and falling…least you could do is turn up to church and smile. Plus, I slipped the Rydinal a little ‘donation,’ with the understanding that he was gonna advertise the new year parade.’ Terry had forgotten all about the parade. It had become a Tri- State tradition that on New Year’s Day, the stars of APWF would parade through New York City on the back of floats, before putting on a free wrestling show in Times Square. ‘Jees…were still doing the parade? You know how much of a money pit that thing is?’ ‘We made a promise to Uncle Franco, Cuz. We can’t go back on a promise to family, bloods thicker than mud.’ ‘Yeah, well you tell the taxman that, alright? My Dad doesn’t even know what day it is anymore…’ ‘Your dads a great man, Terry, don’t you forget it. He made this company what it is’ ‘What it was, you mean’ ‘Is, was, always will be, Cuz.’ The Rydinal came to the end of his sermon, and sure enough, managed to drop in a cheap plug for the parade. ‘As you are no doubt aware, our very own Terry Lambert and his American Pro Wrestling Federation will be holding the annual New Years Parade this PM. All are invited to attend, free of charge as is Adams will. I hope you will all attend. Go in peace and spread the word of Our Lord. Adam’ ‘Adam’ said the congregation in unison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HindSightBeyondSight Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 Love this so far, I laughed all the way through. I really like the bugs thing. Thankyou for the vote of confidence BHK. I really appreciate it from somebody as esteemed as yourself. I hope nobody is offended by my new religion. It is in no way meant to be offensive, just a take on religion in the Cornellverse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHK1978 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Thankyou for the vote of confidence BHK. I really appreciate it from somebody as esteemed as yourself. I hope nobody is offended by my new religion. It is in no way meant to be offensive, just a take on religion in the Cornellverse! Well I am hardly esteemed, in fact most on here probably find me annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HindSightBeyondSight Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 Well I am hardly esteemed, in fact most on here probably find me annoying. Well you're a cool dude in my book fella! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HindSightBeyondSight Posted December 21, 2009 Author Share Posted December 21, 2009 Good AM everybody and thankyou for chosing to tune into Real Wrestle Radio for this live and exclusive coverage of the APWF New Years Day Parade. I am APWF announcer Kurt Berkely alongside my broadcast partner and founder of The APWF, Mr Franco Lambert. Thankyou Kurt, and let me start by saying thankyou to the good people of New York City for once again allowing us to be your New Years entertainment. I've said it a hundred times before but New York is the greatest wrestling city in the world, and it is an honor to be here. Indeed it is Franco. I've been to London, I've seen France, I've seen the queen in her damned undies as the rhyme goes, but I aint ever seen a better wrestling crowd than the ones we get right here in the big apple. It looks like the first floats are just about on their way folks...and leading the parade this year is...Hey! That's Jacoby Jones! Good for Jacoby, the little jobber! I believe the correct term is 'enhancement talent' Franco! Call him what you will, Kurt, but it's about time this talented young man was recognised for the great work he does in the ring each and every night. Jacoby Jones may have spent the majority of his career staring up at the lights but I've never heard him once complain. You could not wish to meet a more professional individual folks. I have to agree with you, Franco. JJ deserves this moment in the sun....and coming up behind him, oh my, it's Rudolph Gray and Romeo Heartthrob, better know collectively as 'The HeartWrenchers!' Would you look at that! Ha! Folks, the HeartWrenchers have one of the most elaborately decorated floats I have ever seen! There's gotta be thousands of flowers on that thing, all spelling out their name! You think Romeo was in charge of the design on this one Kurt? I think you might be onto something there! Rudolph does NOT look happy to be on that thing. Rudolph, of course, provides the technicality and the stability for this particular tag team, whilst Romeo provides the...well... Romeo provides the talk whilst Rudolph provides the walk, partner! Two more young guns with a great future ahead of them in the APWF, if only they could control their bragadocious nature and mend their cheating ways, they could be firm favourites with our fans. I can see the next float coming over the hill...and it looks like The Stomper and Sheik Mustafa are along for the ride, along with Warren Hampton and Trent Peak Oh Doctor! How are those four men even able to coexist on that float? The Stomper and Sheik Mustafa have both been a thorn in the side of Hampton and Peak respectively over the past few months. From the look on their faces, I don't think they like it very much! Well all four men are classed as lower midcarders folks, so that's why they have been put together, but like Kurt said, I don't think they like it at all! Could we see our first float brawl here this AM? Don't be giving them any ideas! The next float is coming into view...and...I can't quite make it out folks. It looks like a big black gate of some kind towering over the float. A letter M maybe? That aint an M, ya putz! I know exactly what that is! That's Wade Morris and The Mad Hungarian, The Moustache Brigade! That's the biggest damn Mustache I've ever seen and it's coming our way, Kurt! I think you're right Franco! Those two men are certainly making a name for themselves here in the midcard of APWF and the crowd are really cheering them on. Our next float is passing by now...and here comes the rest of the midcard! Sam Stragavelli leads the charge, followed Suhail Assanti, Giant Grimsley, Identity Black and The Yakuza Riot tagteam of Shigeta Takahashi and Kenzo Isozaki. That's a very talented midcard in my opinion. Sam Stragavelli sure seems like the odd man out in that particular bunch of nogoodknicks. He better watch his back up on that float... We are over halfway through our floats now folks, and it contains some of the biggest names in the whole APWF...Upper midcarder Michael Mitchell joins our main eventers Edmond Jackson and Crippler Ray Kingman as the crowd around Times Square are going absolutely bananas! These three men are some of the biggest names in the whole wrestling industry and New York is certainly showing them their appreciation! Indeed they are partner. This is what the people came to see, the true superstars of the APWF...but how quickly those cheers turn to boo's, as the APWF champion himself, Marcus McKing, appears aboard the next float. Not only that, but he is joined as always by his right hand men, The Brooklyn Punk, and your own son, Terry lambert. It must hurt you to see him booed like that partner? Well...my son has made some decisions that I don't particularly agree with, Kurt, and it seems that the people of New York dont care for them either. We still have freedom of speach in this country so the people can chant whatever they want. All I know is that my son is a very strong willed individual and that his alliance with these two men, whether I like it or not, has proved to be a fruitful one. The three men are making their way past us now...and wait just a minute folks, it looks like the float has stopped. I presume there's been some kind of mechanical problem...but it looks like McKing has got a microphone in his hand. I'm going to stop talking for just a moment to see if we can't hear what he has to say... 'New York City! You are looking at the true King of APWF! At 20 years old...I am by FAR the youngest wrestling champion of all time! A record that will never be equalled or bettered...because I have no equal...I am the best! Alongside me today, riding in the presence of royalty, are two men who understand the power I possess. Two men who are head and shoulders above the rest of the APWF roster. I talk of course about Terry Lambert and The Brookly Punk. Together, we are New Yorks Finest! And I can say this without exaggeration, without hesitation, because I know it to be the truth. In fact, the only people who don't seem to know it are the morons who arranged this whole fiasco! NOBODY deserves to close the parade except ME! Yet you idiots put us on second to last. SECOND TO LAST!? You have insulted me, my friends, and anybody with an ounce of sense and decency...which looking around....doesn't seem to be too many of you! You insult me New York! Which is why... me and the rest of New Yorks Finest have decided that we will not carry on with this charade. The Parade is officially cancelled until such time as you all realise that WE are the main attractions here today!' As you can hear from the reaction, the good people of New York have not taken kindly to our champions words. It looks like McKing, Lambert and Punk are intent on sitting on that float all day long until the float behind them turns around and goes home! I don't think that's going to happen, partner. I know for a fact that the wrestlers on that float were very proud to be asked to close todays show, and they aint gonna let those three prima donnas ruin their day! Wait...it looks like...yes! George DeColt, Babyface Dave and The Masked Patriot are making their way onto the New Yorks Finest float! It looks like they have some words of their own! Babyface Dave has ahold of the microphone... So this is New Yorks Finest, huh? Three snot nosed Bogues who are getting too big for their boots! You may be the youngest champion of all time, champ, but you sure aint the best! Everybody in New York City saw how you cheated your way to victory against my man George DeColt here, so I wouldn't brag about that if I where you! You may be the champion, but you aint half the man that he is. Dave....Who the hell are you to come onto MY float and take MY microphone, and tell these people that I'm not half the man DeColt is? I've beat DeColt...but who have you ever beat, huh? You're a nobody, chump. You're already washed up, and me? I aint even hit my stride yet! I'm the best and I keep gettin better...that's why they call me The King. Listen up, Pal! The only people around here calling you The King are yourself and these two bozo's standin next to you! So why don't you just swallow your pride and get this parade moving again...before me and my friends here start something you can't finish? Are you threatening me, Dave? Do you have the audacity to stand here and threaten me? You're damn right I am, Kid! I'm sick and tired of you running your mouth around here and it's about time somebody did something about it, catch my drift? Whoa whoa whoa easy, Babyface, easy! Before you do something you regret...I have a little proposition for you and your friends. If you turn around and walk away right now...if you turn your rinky dink float around...Then me, Punk and Terry will face you three in a match this PM...right here in Times Square! The winners of the match will be declared the main attractions of APWF. Now...do we have a deal? As much as I'd love to whoop your ass and run you idiots over with my float...I have a feeling that the police officers in the crowd wouldn't take too kindly to my actions. So...this PM, Me, George and The Patriot against New Yorks Whiniest...and its all legal? You got yourself a deal! Let the people know once and for all who the main attractions of the APWF really are! Well there you have it folks, McKing and his cronies may have got their way for now, but I have a feeling things could end badly for New Yorks Finest later this PM! Remember, everybody in the whole Tri State area is invited to attend, free of charge, our annual New Years Day show. And it's going to be coming to you live from Times Square! Make sure to get here early to avoid dissapointment. What a PM it's going to be! You aint kidding, partner! You just heard that McKing, Lambert and The Brooklyn Punk will be taking on George Decolt, The Masked Patriot and Babyface Dave. and we've got four more exciting matches in store. This is something you don't want to miss! That'll about do it from us for now folks. Stay tuned to Real Wrestle Radio for more live wrestling Chat, but for Franco Lambert, I'm Kurt Berkley saying good AM and a Happy New Year to you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HindSightBeyondSight Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Well thanks to whoever gave me 5 stars already. I hope you still feel that way further down the line! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keefmoon Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Gotta say, loving this start. It's really creative and different, and I respect that in a writer. This is a very interesting start, I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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