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Need help with something personal :(


NicoTheUnique

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I'm feeling weird writing this here, since i know nobody here in any shape or form^^, but i dont care..

 

Me and my girlfriend have been together for a while, and when our summer vacation began, she left for spain with her mom and a friend..

This is a trip she has been looking forward to, and before we got together she always talked about how much she liked spanish boys(we're norwegian)and how she was going to party the entire time..

 

we have not been together for long, (1-2 months now) ...but i love her...i mean LOVE her, i think of her every day....

 

BUT i cant get the though out of my head what she is doing there, its been 6 days now of constant partying, she's 16 DAMIT, i cant get the though she's doing something with someone.. :(

6 days of booze and partying can do that to people cant it?

 

 

does this make me a bad boyfriend?

i'm i wrong to think any of this?

 

thx for any response^^

 

-Nico(i feel dumb for writing this here^^)

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Don't feel dumb mate, it's natural if you're in love with someone (especially at a young age) to feel like that! Try to find something or someone to get your mind off it, thinking about it will make it a thousand times worse. Just keep in mind how short of a time period 6 days is in the grand scheme of things. Stay positive and don't think the worst!:)
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Just ask yourself: can you trust her? You're obviously the only one here who can answer that question, since none of us know her. If you think you can trust her, try not to worry about it. If you don't think you can...well, it's not going to work anyway.

 

Try to find something or someone to get your mind off it

And in that regard...

 

Guess I should get back to writing the next show in my diary, eh, Nico? :)

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Sorry for being really pessimistic and cynical about this but you're really young. I hate to say this but you both are going to have a lot of relationships after each other I'm sure. I know this sounds harsh but how people in general won't have life lasting relationships until they reach their 30's.

 

Why aren't you doing the same? What prevents you from partying the whole summer? I really do think that people under 23 shouldn't really be even trying to form these 'life lasting relationships' or even dream about it. Life changes so suddenly and people change a lot when they get older. You're 16, you've been together for just few months, don't call it love my lad. I know it feels great but it's not love..

 

It's hot summer now, enjoy it the best you can. Get yourself out, go to parties, have fun with people. Don't worry about your girl, depending on how long the trip actually takes..

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Sorry for being really pessimistic and cynical about this but you're really young. I hate to say this but you both are going to have a lot of relationships after each other I'm sure. I know this sounds harsh but how people in general won't have life lasting relationships until they reach their 30's.

Not necessarily true, at least in my own experience. My parents were younger than 16 when they started dating, and they've been married over 30 years. Also, two of my best friends are now married to girls they started dating around that age. My sister was probably 16 or 17 when she started dating her future husband.

 

Does it always turn out that way? Of course not. But that doesn't mean it can't happen, either.

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Does it always turn out that way? Of course not. But that doesn't mean it can't happen, either.

 

Sure but the percentage is astronomicly small plus you can't really compare the old generation to the new generation, a lot of our parents and even more our grandparents started dating young and stayed together for decades, sure, but it happens very rarely nowadays.. How crappy would our life be if we'd stuck with the first girl/boyfriend we ever had?

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Sorry for being really pessimistic and cynical about this but you're really young. I hate to say this but you both are going to have a lot of relationships after each other I'm sure. I know this sounds harsh but how people in general won't have life lasting relationships until they reach their 30's.

 

Why aren't you doing the same? What prevents you from partying the whole summer? I really do think that people under 23 shouldn't really be even trying to form these 'life lasting relationships' or even dream about it. Life changes so suddenly and people change a lot when they get older. You're 16, you've been together for just few months, don't call it love my lad. I know it feels great but it's not love..

 

It's hot summer now, enjoy it the best you can. Get yourself out, go to parties, have fun with people. Don't worry about your girl, depending on how long the trip actually takes..

 

Nico, just disregard this post. I'm sure you were going to already, but yeah...it's just a lot of phooey. Listen to the rest of the posts in this thread, they actually make sense.

 

Sure but the percentage is astronomicly small plus you can't really compare the old generation to the new generation, a lot of our parents and even more our grandparents started dating young and stayed together for decades, sure, but it happens very rarely nowadays.. How crappy would our life be if we'd stuck with the first girl/boyfriend we ever had?

 

No it's not. Of all the people I know who are married, a far higher percentage of them met before the age of 23 than after the age of 30. It's not even remotely close. The ratio's probably 20-to-1, to be honest. That's why the average age at marriage is 25-27. And that's the average age at marriage, not the average age when you meet your future spouse. Finding a life long relationship in your 30s is the extreme exception.

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Just skimmed responses here.

 

She is 16? I would assume you are fairly close to her age as well?

 

Quite honestly you knew before you got together her intentions in this trip. You are both rather young and what happens is going to happen.

 

If you can't trust her there is no reason to be in a relationship with her. On the other side if the relationship is strong ( I doubt after only 1-2 months) then distrust will ruin it. Wait until she gets back and talk it out. Don't stress over it yet.

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Sorry folks, but I have to throw my opinion in with FINisher's.

 

She's 16? And has she has a thing for Spanish guys? And she's in Spain? And she's partying? And there's foreign accents and hormones being thrown all over the place?

 

Yeah, I'd be more surprised if nothing happened. "Something" happening seems like a foregone conclusion.

 

I hope for the best, I really do. But even if you ask her point-blank if she made out/went down on/slept with anyone while away, and she says "no," I don't know that I would believe her.

 

Sorry to be such a downer, I know that's probably not a very comforting answer.

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@Candyman: In my experience it's totally the other way around compared to yours.

 

@Trashbear: I have to second that. Sad to say but it's far more likely that something has indeed happened (I wonder what *cough*) rather than that she's been all nice and tidy over there. That's one of the reasons people go abroad (depending on the age and personality), to have sex with some foreigner without anyone knowing of it back home.. and so on.

 

I'm really aching to see how all this turns out in the end. :D I know it sounds harsh and cruel but.. That's the way I am when it comes to this subject..

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You guys are 16? Yeah...as hard as it sounds you might as well not worry so much about this,

 

There's very little chance you guys are going to end up together and, at this age, you should really be trying to have fun and enjoy yourself.

 

She more than likely is having fun with someone else, you should go do the same, and then when you get to see her again you can work things out if there's still a mutual atraction.

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@Finisher , shes home July 4th, late evning...BUT her girlfriend who was with the first week is comming home tomorow i thin....so if anything happent(i personaly have began to doubt it) i'l hopefully know than ;)

 

I dont know if i'm going to post it thought^^

 

Meh..if that girlfriend is as loyal to her as most girlfriends are she won't tell you anything.

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thx for answering guys, i dont look into this as beein a super long term thing, but i dont really wanna think of how my relationship is going to end already^^

 

and yes, i do enjoy my self, but not with other girls^^ ...just me and my buddies(that sounds wrong)

 

Enjoy yourself and as long as you and your girlfriend are enjoying spending time with each other what is the problem? Seriously, even if she gets drunk or does something stupid and makes out with a Spanish guy DO NOT SWEAT IT!!! As long as she is honest about it and she did not develop feelings for the guy(s) nothing is the matter Seriously nothing. But that is my attitude to stuff like that at that age and in a relationship that has existed for that long.

 

On the age thing, really depends on circumstances and culture.

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Nico, just disregard this post. I'm sure you were going to already, but yeah...it's just a lot of phooey. Listen to the rest of the posts in this thread, they actually make sense.

 

 

 

No it's not. Of all the people I know who are married, a far higher percentage of them met before the age of 23 than after the age of 30. It's not even remotely close. The ratio's probably 20-to-1, to be honest. That's why the average age at marriage is 25-27. And that's the average age at marriage, not the average age when you meet your future spouse. Finding a life long relationship in your 30s is the extreme exception.

 

No Nico Fin is right here. Nico enjoy yourself and do not start to overthink your relationship this can only lead to trouble.

 

Candyman it really depends on culture etc etc.

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Guys, BTW...is it to late to say that she personaly brought this up and said i had to trust her, and she would never do anything like it ?... xD

 

 

-Nico aka Mr Blackjack 21

 

Trust her don't trust her only depends on the first question. Do You Give a Flying F..... if she did do something stupid. Short answer you shouldn't if you do and she is honest when she comes back either way, you will know if she is, then don't overthink/analyze it and keep enjoying each others company.

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Meh..if that girlfriend is as loyal to her as most girlfriends are she won't tell you anything.

Yeah.

 

Guys, BTW...is it to late to say that she personaly brought this up and said i had to trust her, and she would never do anything like it ?... xD

 

 

-Nico aka Mr Blackjack 21

LOL really? At 16 that line is like putting water into a net. pointless.

 

that girlsfriend is also one of MY best friends...so i dont really know^^

 

BTW, i'm feeling alittle uncomftable....can i close this thread somehow?

 

If that girl is HER friend as well that trumps it all. Trust me. From a female point of view on this. I can tell you from experience that when a girl is put between a couple (especially at your age) she is going to be loyal to her female friend over a male any day.

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