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ZEN: The Art of Wrestling And Comedy


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Back in October 2007 a wrestler by named Halloween Knight realized that there are a lot of wrestlers are in Australia and New Zealand, and if he starts his own promotion he can finally get a big push. He founded ZEN: Art of Wrestling. ZEN mixes the cutting edge athletic and technical aspects of lucha libre with a healthy dose of off-the-wall humor and zany characters. ZEN are very proud of the fact that they are the first ever "full equality" promotion, where gender is no barrier to being on their roster - this is slightly undermined by the fact that they have yet to actually have any women try to work for them though. Still, it's the thought that counts.

 

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ZEN Way of the Dreamer 2010

Preview

 

Mirror Universe John Gordon vs. Man O' War

 

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John Gordon has been on roll ever since Guru Vishni's rogue meditation sessions caused John Gordon to get switched with his Evil twin. Could "The Avenger From The Ocean" Man O' War be the one to stop him? If so it would be “By Neptune's beard!” as Man O' War says.

 

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ZEN Harmony Title Match

The Sky Kings (Super Zero & Vertigo) © vs. The Mercs (Eraser & Jester)

 

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The Sky Kings are the reigning Harmony Champs. They haven’t had a title match in a while do to Vertigo feuding with C-W-A, who was suspiciously left of the card……hmm. Meanwhile The Mercs have been destroying the competition occasionally. Recently they haven’t done much because no one has hired them. Now is their chance to show The Sky Kings what they’re made of. Can The Mercs “Masters of Malicious Intent” win the The ZEN Harmony Titles from “The White Warriors of Wonder”?

 

Massacre vs. ???

 

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Massacre is the muscular enforcer of the F.E.A.R. (the stable run by Halloween Knight). He has been destroying the competition. Tonight he faces a mystery opponent who will be making his ZEN debut. I’ll give you a hint his opponent is crazy which is why he’ll fit in with the ZEN roster. Can this unknown man defeat the "The Mighty Miserable Mauler"?

 

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ZEN Conceptual Title Ladder Match

Shaolin © vs. Cyanide

 

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"The Funky Warrior Monk" Shaolin has been the ZEN Conceptual for some time. "The Merciless Mat Masochist" Cyanide is a member of F.E.A.R. and a former Conceptual champion. Now Cyanide gets his shot at....um gold... as the imaginary title hangs 15 feet above the ring. Will “The Natural Noble Ninja” steal another win or will Cyanide “The Sophisticated Stellar Soldier” prevail?

 

Hardcore Match

Devilfish vs. Necromancer

 

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"The Multi-Coloured Master Of Mischief" Devilfish and "The Monochrome Menace" Necromancer have been feuding ever since Necromancer lost the ZEN Master title to Devilfish. Necromancer has slowly been getting eviler and made Devilfish lose the title to Halloween Knight. Necromancer is also a member of F.E.A.R. They fight now in a Hardcore Match because they can and Necromancer is EVIL!!! Will “The Evil Emperor Of Everlasting Hate” defeat Devilfish “The Daring Destroyer Of Dread”?

 

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ZEN Master Title Match

Halloween Knight © vs. Lone Shark

 

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"The Daredevil From The Deep" Lone Shark has been feuding with "The Godfather Of Ghouls" Halloween Knight since joining the promotion. Lone Shark was able to win the ZEN Master title from Halloween Knight long ago. They keep on fighting and now they meet again. Will “The Vulgar Vainglorious Vexatious Villian” retain his title against Lone Shark “The Dark Shark Who Makes Exclamation Marks”?

 

 

 

Mirror Universe John Gordon vs. Man O' War

The Sky Kings © vs. The Mercs

Massacre vs. ???

Shaolin © vs. Cyanide

Devilfish vs. Necromancer

Halloween Knight © vs. Lone Shark

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You really have to love Zen!

 

Mirror Universe John Gordon vs. Man O' War

The Sky Kings © vs. The Mercs You have to let the champs win on the first card

Massacre vs. ??? = Mystery Opponent is Milton Hittlespitz Going by the name.

Shaolin © vs. Cyanide Same as The Sky Kings vs. The Mercs match

Devilfish vs. Necromancer Will result in hopefully a Halloween vs. Necromancer match.

Halloween Knight © vs. Lone Shark Same as the previous 2 title matches

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ZEN Way of the Dreamer 2010

Live at The Zen Temple in front of 51 people

 

Pre Show: X-Calibre vs. The Anarchist

 

Before the show officially began X-Calibre fought The Anarchist in the dark match. The match itself wasn’t that great as neither man has great psychology, making a rather bad match. The crowd didn’t care as it’s just the preshow. The match end at 5:44 when Referee Steven Yale counted to 3 and awarded the win to X-Calibre despite both standing up at the time, and neither had attempted a pinfall at all.

 

Winner: X-Calibre

Rating: 29

 

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The Show begins with Sparky Sparks & The Alex Arturro Experience welcoming the audience to the first show of the year. They talk about all the zany fun they have here. They also run mention how this is a full equity promotion, although they still don’t have any female wrestlers. Sparky runs down the card while Alex gets up and starts testing out some of his stand up to the crowd.

 

The Alex Arturro Experience: “You ever notice how people in Australia hate New Zealand? I mean, come on this isn’t that bad of a place to live.”

 

Sparky Sparks then reminds the crowd that The Alex Arturro Experience is a former stand-up comedian and doesn’t know much about the business

 

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Devilfish comes to the ring to talk about F.E.A.R. (the stable run by Halloween Knight) and how he and Necromancer have been feuding. Very informative to those who have no clue about what’s been going on in ZEN.

 

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Necromancer comes out and says he doesn’t like how Devilfish has been talking to him (despite him not saying anything bad). Necromancer says that tonight he will literally kill Devilfish because he is EVIL!!! Devilfish laughs it off because the likes the face Necromancer makes when he says that. Necromancer calls Devilfish some bad names but because this show is family friendly they really aren’t that bad.

 

Necromancer: “Hey you know what you are Devilfish? You’re nothing but a multicolored mask wearing odd guy. I’ll see you later you human bag of skittles.”

 

Necromancer leaves, Devilfish stands around for a little bit and then leaves. The Alex Arturro Experience pretends to wake up from a nap and calls that boring. Sparky Sparks tells him to be quite because the next match is starting.

 

Rating: 34

 

Mirror Universe John Gordon w/Guru Vishni vs. Man O' War

 

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Mirror Universe John Gordon fought Man O' War in what was an extremely poor match, having no real flow. It dragged and the crowd hated it. Early into Mirror Universe John Gordon knocked Man O' War into Referee Steven Yale knocking him out, he then spent the rest of the match trying to get up. Towards the end Man O' War bumped into him again and knocked him out of the ring. Mirror Universe John Gordon hit the Goatee Driver on Man O' War and with no referee Guru Vishni came in and counted to 3 and declared Mirror Universe John Gordon the winner a t 7:23.

 

Winner: Mirror Universe John Gordon

Rating: 22

 

Sparky Sparks & The Alex Arturro help Steven Yale get up and in to chair next to them where he will sit for the rest of the show because he is injured. Then they menton tonight’s main event between Halloween Knight & Lone Shark.

 

Rating: 27

 

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ZEN Harmony Title Match

The Sky Kings (Super Zero & Vertigo) ©w/ Molly Cuddle vs. The Mercs (Eraser & Jester)

 

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The Mercs fought The Sky Kings in an O.K. match. The crowd liked the match but hated The Mercs as they were both off their game. During the matchThe Alex Arturro Experience started doing his stand up again.

 

The Alex Arturro Experience: “How about our rugby team? I’ve seen better people throwing balls in a home for amputees. And none of them had arms!”

 

Towards the end C-W-A came out at attacked Vertigo with a pie and hit Super Zero with a balloon sword. Out of nowhere Whirlwind Lee Wilkes came out to attack The Mercs just to even things up. Everyone except Whirlwind Lee Wilkes brawls to the back, he stands just stands there.

 

Winner: No one

Rating: 30

 

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Whirlwind Lee Wilkes grabs a microphone and decides to cut a promo about why he's here.

 

Whirlwind Lee Wilkes: “So I was sitting in my house doing absolutely nothing when I realized I should be wrestling. So, I came earlier today and begged management for a job and they said “Eh sure.” So now I’m a member of the ZEN roster and I will be making a splash and so everyone not to mess with “The Wonderful Wizard Of Wonderful Wizardry” Whirlwind Lee Wilkes.

 

Rating: 31

 

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Steven Yale comes to the conclusion that The Mercs and The Sky Kings have left the ring and begins a 10 count. He then rules the match the result of a double count out at 12:10.

 

Rating: 26

 

Massacre vs. Milton Hittlespitz

 

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In an unsurprising move Whirlwind Lee Wilkes was not the surprise opponent, instead it was “The Madman Of Mass Madness” Milton Hittlespitz. It was a bad match with Massacre massacring Milton. Massacre hit the Black Descent and yelled at Steven Yale to count the pin. Steven somehow misheard him and declared Massacre the winner by submission at 7:19.

 

Winner: Massacre

Rating: 30

 

Milton gets up and yells at Massacre that he didn’t get to go through a table during the match. Massacre doesn’t care and pushes him as he leaves. Milton uber-sells the push and rolls across the ring, up the turnbuckle, and jumps off and crashes through the announce table.

 

Rating: 16

 

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ZEN Conceptual Title Ladder Match

Shaolin © vs. Cyanide

 

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A decent match between Shaolin and Cyanide. The crowd liked it, but sadly they don’t work well together. Pretty even match between them. During the match Milton Hittlespitz finally got up. He said hi Shaolin and Cyanide and introduced himself. Cyanide hit him which knocked him into a pile of ladders conveniently located backstage. At the end Cyanide climbed the ladder and reached at where the title is supposing hanging. He stood there unsure if he had won, when Shaolin climbed up and knocked him off. Shaolin then grabbed at where he thought the belt was. Steven Yale declares Shaolin the winner at 11:19.

 

Winner: Still ZEN Conceptual Champion, Shaolin

Rating: 33

 

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Halloween Knight comes out at complains to Steven Yale that Cyanide had clearly grabbed the belt earlier. They argue for a little bit and then go to a TV monitor to watch the instant replay. Finally Steven Yale decides his job is more important then what he thought he saw and reverses the decision.

 

Winner: New ZEN Conceptual Champion, Cyanide

 

While he’s out there Halloween Knight decides to cut a promo on Lone Shark.

 

Halloween Knight: ”Hey Lone Shark let’s see how much you know about sharks. Did you know you can repeal a shark by punching it in the nose? I guess that means all I have to do is hit you once, and I’ll have you beat. Also you’ll be all alone later when you lose and sit around backstage being a waste of space. F.E.A.R. will run wild and you can’t stop us. You’ll find that out later when you face the “The Horrible Homeowner Of Havoc” Halloween Knight! ”

 

Rating: 45

 

Hardcore Match

Devilfish vs. Necromancer

 

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The crowd was ready for this match but sadly the competitors weren’t, neither works well in hardcore matches and there was definitely a lack of flow. A highlight was when Devilfish pulled out a dead fish from under the ring. He danced around for a little bit before slapping Necromancer with it.

 

Sparky Sparks: “A fish? I thought something smelled like dead fish.”

 

The Alex Arturro Experience: “And all this time I thought it was you. Am I right people? Haha! That’s a good joke.”

 

Finally Necromancer hit Devilfish with a sack of oranges and locked in the Death Scream for the win by submission at 9:40. Necromancer was yelling at Steven Yale for about a minute saying that Devilfish is tapping. Eventually Steven declared it official.

 

Winner: Necromancer

Rating: 22

 

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ZEN Master Title Match

Halloween Knight © vs. Lone Shark

 

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Finally it was ZEN’s match of night, year, and month. Great back and forth action between the two of them. Lone Shark hit the Blood In The Water and went for the pin but Steven Yale didn’t realize a pin attempt was being made. Halloween kicked out and then locked Lone Shark in the Pumpkin Patch for the submission win at 13:36.

 

Winner: Still ZEN Master Champion, Halloween Knight

Rating: 51

 

Cyanide, Massacre and Necromancer come out and celebrate with Halloween Knight that they all won tonight. Devilfish vows revenge and insists he’ll be back

 

Rating: 26

 

Overall Rating: 39

 

 

I’ve realize my problems with booking this show and if I get around to writing another show it will improve.

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