Ultimate Backyard Wrestling(Cornellverse)

[BuddyGarner]

The beginning of UBW: Timmy Cornell(not his real name but he pays homage to the wrestling god) and I were tired of how SWF and TCW booked cards. We were tired of the separation of the great wrestlers between all the feds. TCW had Cornell; NOTBPW had the Stones, Sean McFly, and Acid; and Japan had Onji Taka*bleep*ita, Kozue Kawashima, Emerald Angel, and Noriyora Sanda. Timmy Cornell had watched a lot of wrestling material and the man could book cards and knew wrestlers who had potential. Unfortunately, the guy couldn't call a match because he would always require the wrestlers to perform super hero moves. Double footed stomps from the top of the cage being one example. He also liked matches with a lot of big moves, like 50 rolling german suplexes. In short, he had no psychology. So he was a member of the booking team and the owner of the fed. Mostly because it was his parents who contributed most of the 25,000 starting funds. We knew we couldn't book our dream Sean McFly versus Tommy Cornell matches so we wanted to hold a place for UNDERGROUND wrestlers to prove themselves. We only wanted young fresh workers to battle it out and see who was the cream of the rookies. We hired the highly respected albeit not the best performing referee Bret Graveson to be a referee and road agent. We hired Stuart Ferdinand to be another Road Agent, and to help the wrestlers with their matches, we lied to him and told him he would be pushed as a main eventer but we didn't want him to actually wrestle. Ben Williams, Lion Heart, and Jerry Martin were our announcing team. We might have them get in the ring eventually especially Jerry Martin but this is another case where we lied about their push. So we had one referee, myself, 4 lied pushes, and 8 actual in-ring workers. The 8 workers was perfect for our first storyline which would be held on Friday, Week 2 of December in our base location of the Great Lakes. There was going to be a tournament for the UBW Championship title. Unfortunately, we didn't know what we had planned until right before the show.. We just wanted to get some shows in the bag cause we knew it would be mostly the wrestlers families showing up.

[BuddyGarner]

The first show was as could be expected. Bret Graveson and Stuart Ferdinand kept order in the locker room but was that order worth their 3000 combined salaries? The tournament storyline didn't go as expected as we didn't realize that the matches had to be in a certain order until it was too late, so the matches will be repeated next show UBW Front Row Seats Available. We worked out the finances and at about 4000+ costs to run a show and 1000 in sponsors that we should do a show around every three months. We would still lose money but not as fast. 17 people attended the show. Cornell and I wanted heels to be special. Timmy Cornell felt that Flemmy Lemming should be our big star so he was made the heel and the one we booked to win the 8 man tournament. Leroy was our only other heel who we chose to have the hired gun gimmick. Flemmy Lemming gave an interview for five minutes where he announced the 8 man tournament and specifically his main event match against Geoff Borne. He talked about how he was the best wrestler and the favorite of UBW management. This got a lot of heel heet because most of the crowd were family and friends of the other wrestlers. The segment still bombed. -Rating F Frankie Dee def. Puma Boy in 2:50 (they didn't click at all) E Stretch the Chicken Boy def. Huey Cannonball with poultry in motion at 0:39 (no clickage) E Leroy over Kinuye Mushashibo via G.B.H. driver at 1:30 (worse clickage of the night) E Flemmy Lemming won Geoff Borne with the suicidal solution at 11:39 E Show rating E

[BuddyGarner]

UBW's Quarterly show UBW Front Row Seats Available I arranged the tournament based on card position so the lower midcard, midcarders would get eliminated first. The road agents Bret Graveson and Fernando Stewart(I didn't even realize who Stuart Ferdinand was, friggin' name changes) had a very low opinion of Kinuye Mushashibo's in-ring abilities. Unfortunately she only speaks japenese, so I couldn't stick her on the announce team. I couldn't make her interfere in random matches or be some guy's manager to keep her happy either cause I needed 8 wrestlers to be even for matches. If she continues to suck, I'll find a way. 17 People Attended Show Rating E Stretch the Chicken Boy def. Huey cannonball in 2:50 by Pountry in motion F(didn't click) -Guess technical versus high flyer doesn't work Flemmy Lemming def. Geoff Borne 11:35 by supmission Suicidal Solution D -Maybe it does Leroy def Kinuye Mushashibo in 0:49 with a G.B.H. driver E(don't click) Frankie D. def Puma boy in 0:35 by pinfall F(didn't click) -Frankie Dee's a regular wrestler, they're supposed to click with everbody In three months on UBW Cry of the Backyarders Tournament bouts: Leroy(brawler, hardcore) versus Stretch the "Weirdo" Chicken Boy(Technical) The owner's personal favorite Flemmy Lemming goes up against the All-American Frankie D. Other bouts: High flying action in Geoff Borne moonsaults onto Huey Cannonball The out of this world Sci-Fi fanatic Puma Boy makes a second row knee drop on Kinuye Mushashibo

[BuddyGarner]

Results from the Quarterly UBW Event: UBW Cry of the Backyarders 18 people showed up this time. In addition to everyone's family and friends in the crowd. Leroy brought his new girlfriend and made her pay two dollars like everybody else. In the pre show, The Science Fiction Fanatic Puma Boy defeated Kinuye Mushashibo with the Puma Pounce after 1:09 F Geoff Borne defeated Huey Cannonball in 4:49 in a ladder match. The contents of the briefcase gave a fourth of a map of the location to the UBW Championship title to Geoff Borne. E Leroy advanced to the next round of the Tournament by G.B.H. drivering Stretch the Chicken Boy in less than a minute. E Flemmy Lemming got "Mr. Regular Wrestler" Frankie Dee to tap out in about ten minutes after a healthy dose of submissions, high flying, and strong styling from both sides. D 5-Minute Hype Video(The Plot Points): The final round of the tournament. Flemmy Lemming will defeat Leroy. On paper the match is a battle of two strong stylers. But, is that the way it's going to be? Flemmy Lemming is known as the Chosen One of Owner Timmy Cornell. Leroy is the Hired Gun who's let it known in the locker room that he's willing to wear any wrestler down before a match if the price is right. Flemmy Lemming has paid Leroy to take a dive thanks to money provided by himself and owner Timmy Cornell. Flemmy Lemming Wins the UBW Championship Title at UBW Ultimate Backyard War!!!!! F Show Rating E The rest of the card for Ultimate Backyard War: Puma Boy steps out of the ring and joins the announce team. Jerry Martin steps in the ring to take his place. Jerry Martin will display his hardcore skills against Frankie Dee. Two not quite high flyers Kinuye Mushashibo and Stretch the Chicken Boy duke it out. Geoff Borne and Huey Cannonball have a rematch this time in a house of fun match. And at the one year anniversary of Ultimate Backyard Wrestling's first show UBW Family and Friends Only: Leroy and Jerry Martin will begin a program with several hardcore matches against each other.

[BuddyGarner]

UBW Ultimate Backyard War!!! Pre-show countdown, Mr. Weirdo Chicken Boy defeated can only speak basic english Kinuye Mushashibo in like 3 minutes. E Frankie Dee defeated Jerry Martin by PINFALL in 2:32 in a HARDCORE!!! match. The people wanted to see a chair choke out!!! But Frankie Dee only has a Dee in Hardcore. F Geoff Borne made Huey Cannonball become a Borne Again wrestler in 5 mins. Geoff Borne won another quarter piece of the map to the UBW Championship title. When Flemmy Lemming wins tonight, he won't actually get the title. The title is a buried treasure, Flemmy will just be crowned champion. E The Biggest Match in UBW History!!!! Stuard Ferdinand the road agent was given notes to Overbook(there were going to be a couple twists), tell the workers to go all out, and to work the crowd(we wanted Flemmy Lemming and Leroy to get some heel heat). The match starts by Lemming throwing a wuss punch on Leroy and Leroy falls to the ground instantly. Lemming hits some ground and pound which doesn't even touch Leroy and Leroy sells it. Mr. Chosen One then proceeds to mock the crowd about how crappy this match is. Lemming then traps Leroy in a head vice and Leroy starts complaining that this really hurts!!!! Leroy asks if he can tap and Lemming says he can't and that Leroy will tap when Lemming says Leroy will tap. Leroy instinctively trys to break free and gives Lemming an eye gouge. Leroy breaks the hold and asks "What the hell is going on?" Flemmy Lemming bodyslams Leroy and then attempts three stiff as hell kicks. Leroy blocks the third kick and tosses Lemming on the ground. Leroy goes for a leg drop right across Lemming's neck but he rolls out of the way. Lemming hits 50 surfboards and mocks the crowd about how repetitive the match is and how they're getting ripped off. Leroy can't tap because his arms are trapped! Leroy yells "I quit! I quit! Get this retard off me!!!!" Lemming is the first ever UBW Champion. D Lemming celebrates in a mocking way torwards the crowd thus brining the 8 man tournament storyline to a close. F Attendance 18 Show Rating E Leroy suffered an 80 day injury due to a ruptured spleen. But since shows are only about once every 90 days that's no problem. As everyone with a brain could've predicted ROF went out of business. British Samurai knew this was going to happen so he opened a new fed with a style never before seen in THE ENTIRE CORNELLVERSE!!!! Europe was going to be the first to see the new fed style of LUCHA PURE!!!! Flemmy Lemming was invited to join this brand new fed European Lucha Wrestling. Flemmy Lemming accepted the contract but informed us that UBW would still be his first priority. In 90+- days on UBW Family and Friends Only Our road agents Fernando Stewart and Bret Graveson were confident that Flemmy Lemming had the potential to become a lot better at high flying so he begins a program with the aerialist Geoff Borne. Frankie Dee takes on Stretch the Chicken Boy as a test to see how good the match will be. And for the same reason Kinuye Mushashibo fights Huey Cannonball!

[BuddyGarner]

Anniversary Show UBW Family and Friendlys only Pre Show: Kinuye Mushashibo d. Huey Cannonball 5:24 pinfall. House of Fun F Stretch the Chicken Boy d. Frankiee Dee 7:57 submission. E Show: Jerry Martin busted Leroy open in a first blood match. E Geoff Borne comes to the ring and gives a one minute promo challenging Flemmy Lemming for the title. If Lemming wins, he get's Borne's two treasure map pieces. F Ben Williams serves as a makeshift Authority Figure and Flemmy Lemming let Ben know that he accepted the match E Flemmy Lemming defeated Geoff Borne in a Ladder Match. D Attendance 11:( Show Rating E Firings: Kinuye Mushashibo(150) Lion Heart(150) Stuart Ferdinand(1600) Bret Graveson(1600) Hirings: Pee-Wee Germanie(400) Marimaso Kato(600) Catherine Quine(1200) Hell Monkey(1200) The fact that Hell Monkey and Catherine Quine were more talented and cheaper than Fernando Stewart and Bret Graveson encouraged the booking team to institute a new policy of not resigning workers who would usually demand a 50$ raise more often than not. New Announcing Team: Ben Williams Stretch the Chicken Boy Puma Boy Road Agent: Marimaso Kato Card for UBW Front Row Seats Available(First 1 hour Card): Jerry Martin gets a rematch against Leroy Same situation with Flemmy Lemming and Geoff Borne Huey Cannonball faces off with Frankie Dee and CATHERINE QUINE VERSUS HELL MONKEY!!!!!

[BuddyGarner]

UBW Front Row Seats Available I fired Masutaro Katoaka for Samoan Machine because Samoan Machine had A psychology and Hell Monkey and Catherine Quine are the two locker room leaders. Pre-Show: Huey Cannonball over Frankie Dee in a House of Fun. F Jerry Martin buried Leroy alive. E Main Show: Leroy shook Jerry Martin's hand and they decided to have a best of Seven Series. F Flemmy Lemming must've used the treasure map pieces to find the title because Geoff Borne stole it. F Flemmy Lemming chases Geoff Borne around for the title but Borne is attacked by Ben Williams, Borne still manages to escape with the belt. F Geoff Borne invited Flemmy Lemming to fight for his title back in a match. F F.L. regains his title back in a ladder match after about ten minutes. D Hell Monkey goes over Samoan Machine in a straight singles in 12 minutes. Both are Strong Style so singles seemed best. C+ Catherine Quine goes over Hell Monkey in an 18 minute House of Fun match but unfortunately they didn't seem to click. C+ Catherine Quine shot T-Shirts for five minutes. A* Show Rating C. Attendance still 11. Catherine Quine versus Hell Monkey didn't draw!!!! Next time: UBW Cry of the Backyarders The Ultimate Backyarder Huey Cannonball takes on the apparently no longer into sci-fi Puma Boy. Hell Monkey pulls double duty against Samoan Machine and another match against Geoff Borne. Jerry Martin and Leroy fight the first match in their best of seven series. Catherine Quine takes on Flemmy Lemming in a non-title bout due to the fact that Catherine Quine is too old for the title.

[BuddyGarner]

I had originally planned on starting with 25,000 but I realized with only that much money I could only do one show a year as months without shows produce 400 in profit and months with shows cost like 4000 to do. I realized I should've started with around 100,000 as even with that much you still have to do conservative on shows. So I edited my cash to have 75,000 more dollars. Now I can try to do 12 shows a year. Each show is held on the first Sunday of the Month so as to make sure that Hell Monkey and Catherine Quine are available. UBW Cry of the Backyarders Pre-Show: Leroy gets a quick K.O. on Des Davids in 0:44. D(Pretty good for a squash match!!!!) The MMA Bad Ass Marimaso Kato submitted Hitamaro Suzuki in 9:44. D(They don't click, good rating for two people with F popularity in the US!) Catherine Quine Shot T-Shirts for five minutes A* Needed something that was five minutes even for the pre show Main Show: Puma Boy has realized his Sci-Fi Fandom was lame and has decided to become a disco stud. It worked for him because he managed to land the Puma Pounce on Huey "Stale" Cannonball in a five minute house of fun match. F (Both of them got fired after this match) Leroy set Jerry Martin on fire in a minimum length Inferno Match. E(Leroy's Hired Gun gimmick is getting stale which I don't blame the crowd for as it's never mentioned in the show anymore) Catherine Quine and Flemmy Lemming didn't click in a 15 minute shoot fight. C A hype video was shown hyping the Chosen One Flemmy Lemming and how he has been booked to look good. And how for example he was booked as the obvious loser for his match against Catherine Quine but he didn't lose the title because it was a non-title bout. F Hell Monkey looked good when he House of Funned Geoff Borne after ten minutes. They don't click. C (Geoff Borne is about as good as Puma Boy and Huey Cannonball with some more psychology but he's protected as he's young and has faced people that made him look good) Hell Monkey was too unhappy to be booked to lose to the Samoan Machine after 15 minutes in a BW USA. Which is unfortunate because the three top contendors storyline requires him to lose a match. C+ Jerry Martin cut a four minute promo about how he was tired of the best of seven series against Leroy and that he deserved a title shot against Flemmy Lemming. F Attendance at the Great Lakes Ohio Jewish Center 21 Show Rating C-(not enough angles)

[BuddyGarner]

UBW Ultimate Hell(I miss the Ultimate Hell matches of 2004) Pre-Show: Leroy walked into his match against Jerry Martin debuting his new underworld gimmick. Unfortunately, it was only rated B like his last Hired Gun gimmick. Degenerate Gimmicks seem to score best as both Samoan Machine and Des Davids have it and they are both rated A*. The BW USA filled the pre-show but Jerry Martin got tired torwards the end. I knew this was going to happen but I wanted this segment to fill 20 minutes. E Show: Des Davids retrieved a title opportunity against any titles that should debut against Hitomaro Suzuki in a fifteen minute match which the smark fans in the audience commented that it didn't have enough psychology. E Flemmy Lemming gave the permanent solution to a temporary problem to Marimaso Kato. D Champagne Lover def. American Elemental in a 30 minute House of Fun match. C(Damn, why didn't I hire these guys before, they were both pretty cheap and that's a really good rating for people with F overness) American Elemental asked Catherine Quine on a date which took him about ten minutes to do, she accepted. C- Catherine Quine looked good against Geoff Borne in a house of fun match. C A 2-minute video is shown promoting the guy who should be in SWF considering the talent he has. And in SWF, he should be pushed to the top almost immediately. Hell Monkey. C Hell Monkey beat Samoan Machine in an 18 minute Steel Cell match. C+(Gotta find a way to make Hell Monkey be happy about losing to the Samoan Machine) Attendance: 37 Rating: C-(not enough angles again) The roster is pretty much set in this point because all the weaker guys Geoff Borne, Leroy, and Jerry Martin are protected by their role in storylines.

[BuddyGarner]

UBW Death to Tyrants!!!! P.S.: Jerry Martin was tiring but the gangsta still managed to bust Leroy open after 8 minutes. E Hell Monkey who won't lose to anyone Super Kicked American Elemental in a House of Fun. You can rename it to Hell Fire Kick it's still a super kick. C+ Show: Des Davids over Hitomaro Suzuki in a ten minute Cage Classic. D Flemmy Lemming retrieved his UBW Championship Title in a ten minute Ladder Match against Marimaso Kato. D You could see the sweat on Champagne Lover's face against American Elemental in a 35 minute House of Fun, but the lover of Champagne still won. C+ The sexiest woman alive Catherine Quine looked good when she Cat's Cradled Geoff Borne in a H.of.F. C+ Hell Monkey actually had to cheat to beat Samoan Machine in a 35 minute BW USA. Samoan Machine couldn't last the match. B+ stamina guys can only do 30 minute matches. B- Catherine Quine made out with American Elemental. C- The American version of the Elemental legacy made puppy dog eyes on one of the view AAA workers who could make it in a men's fed. C Flemmy Lemming, Leroy, and Hell Monkey tried to assault Catherine Quine but American Elemental sacrificed himself for his love. E Attendance: 37 Show Rating: C+

[BuddyGarner]

UBW Ultimate Backyard War Before the Show Begins: The Gangsta Jerry Martin could not count past ten in a minimum length L.M.S match against Leroy. E The MMA Bad Ass Marimaso Kato subbed Des Davids. D Show: Flemmy Lemmin's Chosen One gimmick got stale but that didn't stop him from beaten a worker he had pretty good chemistry against Hitamaro Suzuki in a 15 minute ladder match. D Champagne Lover couldn't break the Samoan Machine's Unbreakable Sleeper after a 30 minute war. C+ Catherine Quine didn't look as good no more when she Cat's Cradled Geoff Borne in their typical ten minute House of Fun bout. C+ Hell Monkey refused to put American Elemental over at all beating him three falls to none in a sixty minute ironman match. Unfortuantely, they had the stamina but not the psychology for the bout. Hell Monkey asked for a $1,000 raise last contract negotiations when his matches aren't worth that much. So Corporal Doom has been brought in to begin training as a Road Agent and to replace Hell Monkey as a locker room leader after the storyline that Hell Monkey is involved in is over. C Make out session between the Cat's Cradler and the stamina filled flyer. C American Elemental and Catherine Quine manage to keep their hands off each other at the local fair. C American Elemental takes ten minutes to ask Catherine Quine to marry him. C Attendance: 31 Show Rating: C

[BuddyGarner]

UBW Welcome to the Underground Dark Matches: Leroy forgot to get up after the ten count in a five min LMS match against Jerry Martin. E Marimaso Kato couldn't beat a ten count either in an 11 minute LMS match against Des Davids. D And so it begins: Flemmy Lemming now a pimp which is rated a B+ as a gimmick versus his A* chosen one gimmick(He's still the chosen one to get pushed by the booking team though) def. the pretty good chemistry man Hitomaro Suzuki in a 15 minute submission match. C- Samoan Machine was tiring but he won when he retrieved an empty briefcase against American Elemental in a 35length match. C+ Catherine Quine over Geoff "I'm the only guy she doesn't have problems with not clicking with" Borne in another 10 minute house of fun match. C+ Champagne Lover gets tired and walks into a Hell Fire Kick from Hell Monkey in a 35 minute in the best time wasting match Barbed Wire Japan. C+ American Elemental and Catherine Quine are getting married when Flemmy Lemming runs in and states that marriage is bad for his pimp business. He tries to steal Catherine Quine so she can be his employee but he fails to kidnap her. However, Lemming manages to escape himself. D Attendance: 41 Show Rating: C+ Flemmy Lemming has hit E for Momentum. Holding the title has really helped a lot. Everyone else has F aside from Catherine Quine, American Elemental, Champagne Lover, Hell Monkey, and Samoan Machine who all have around C momentum.

[BuddyGarner]

UBW Return to the Underground Before the Show officially starts: Jerry Martin manages to beat Leroy in a five minute L.M.S. match before his lack of stamina becomes a factor. E Marimaso Kato over Des Davids in a 10 minute length L.M.S. match. D It starts: The final match of Jerry Martin and Leroy's best of seven series is the next show. Highlights of their crappy matches play for ten minutes. F Flemmy Lemming over Hitomaro Suzuki in a 20 minute(We don't have enough psych for this match length) submission bout. D American Elemental over Champagne Lover when he retrieved another emptry briefcase. 30. C+ American Elemental and Champagne Lover shake hands for five minutes announcing a future best of seven series of their own. F Catherine Quine over Geoff Borne in the same match they always have. C+ Samoan Machine GOES OVER Hell Monkey in a 35 minute match with his Unbreakable Sleeper. Samoan Machine was tiring and Hell Monkey wasn't happy about losing. However, Hell Monkey had to lose to further a storyline and thankfully when I talked to him the next day he said he had no morale problems. So, there should be about two more shows before the overpriced Hell Monkey can be fired. C+ Catherine Quine taunts Flemmy Lemming for 13 minutes to kill some time. Basically, she talks about how Flemmy Lemming doesn't deserve the title and she parades her hot body around to kill some more time. B- Attendance: 46 Show Rating: C+ Ultimate Backyard Wrestling rises to small size. Next show is a medium Hyped Event Family and Friendlys Only and will be 4 hours long with many workers pulling double duty matches. Flemmy Lemming is lowered from his upper midcard push to Lower Midcarder which makes the main event UBW Championship Title not suited for him. However, the booking committee of Timmy Cornell, Catherine Quine, and Corporal Doom still think he should be in line for a push. They also believe Zimmy Burfhole and Frankie Perez should be pushed and that the shows should revolve around Hell Monkey. The fed has about 50,000 in it's coffers but that amount could go down really fast if Hell Monkey isn't sacked soon.