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Corporation-X Wrestling: From backyard to backhander.


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***DISCLAIMER***This diary will include crude humour and foul language. Also, all characters are real people and the events are semi-fiction, the South Park characterisations are only in place to give the readers a rough/accurate image of what the said people look like. This is only because I can’t show their real face due to legal reasons and that I can't afford poser, so you have been warned!

 

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“I don’t care how much money you have, this is my ****in’ forum!shouts a man down the phone. The man has shaggy brown hair and he is only wearing his pants. This man is called Craig. Throughout his time at university, he had a dream. This dream was something that only nerds and geeks only ever think about. This dream was to run a successful internet forum. Corporation-X was a forum that specialised in the TEW and EWR games that also centred on active sports, wrestling, graphics and off-topic sections. I say active, I mean it was the same 15-20 people. The same amount of people who made the place somewhat lively and fun to hang out. One day, an American man wanted to destroy Craig’s empire. He funded Craig’s empire when Craig’s student loan ran out. Suddenly, this American man had the urge to take over (like all model American’s) and he did. However, Craig didn’t give up without a fight. This battle for the Corporation-X forum wouldn’t just happen over the internet, oh now. I, Thomas. H. Dickfingers, a promoter also had a dream. I had a dream to watch this battle turn into a warzone. A wrestling warzone. A warzone where not only Craig and his American counterpart would fight, but also a warzone where other members of this forum will do battle and fight to become the best member of the forum. This wrestling company? Corporation-X Wrestling. This is wrestling at its absolute worst.

 

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http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/cxw.jpg

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Roster:

 

Faces:

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/2nz.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/anderz-1.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/iggy.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/inglez.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/iwwrocks.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/jayden.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/jimbob.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/nakedcowboy.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/stiva.jpg

 

Heels:

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/BoyDay1.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/buffyandkane.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/kbone.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/Lucas.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/mitch.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/omegaslacker.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/rone.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/tdf.jpghttp://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/vitamine.jpg

 

Divas:

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/cyberkitten.jpg

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/kimberly.jpg

 

Announcers:

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/rabbitman.jpg

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/ghostdogg.jpg

 

Tag Teams:

The Football Managers – Jimbob Lovejoy and IWWRocks

The Gay Team – Lucas Jackson and Mitch

The Alan Shearer Fan Club – Jordan Stiva and Young Inglez

The Rone and Bone Connection: Rone Rivendale and K-Bone

 

So there we have it, the list of Corporation X users who singed up to be apart of wrestling history. These users will compete on our television show that is broadcasted on Babestation in the UK and it will be available on YouTube a day later. The television show will be called CXW Gangbang and all event tapings will take place in Lucas Jackson’s back garden in London. Keep your eyes peeled for the CXW NewsWire which will include the preview for CXW Gangbang Episode 1 and two profiles of your favourite CXW wrestlers!

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-The Effect, it was based on Corporation-X, which in turn is now Corp-X Gaming, or it was since nobody uses it now.

 

CXW Newswire Week 1

 

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/newswire.jpg

 

After the roster being announced, there is huge excitement taking over the Corporation-X board, especially with speculation since nobody knows who they will be facing at the historic first episode of CXW Gangbang! Live on Babestation every Wednesday night! However, with the excitement, there always is jealousy, especially when it comes to Lucas Jackson. Jackson, whom has legitimate wrestling experience with Dropkixx wrestling academy in London, has a huge advantage over his rivals in wrestling and character skills. However, some ‘backstage’ are seeing this as a challenge to step up their game. Will it work? Only time will tell.

 

Thomas H. Dickfingers, the CXW promoter has announced that there will be a championship title belt. However, in a bold or lazy move, he has allowed the naming of the title belt to be up to the fans. The one with the best name that will be chosen at random will win. The prize will be free entry to a CXW Gangbang episode. Good luck fans.

 

Which in turn has brought us to one more announcement regarding the CXW title; there will be a tournament which will culminate into a final match up at CXW Big Gay Day Out! The card for the first episode of CXW Gangbang will be posted after this newswire bulletin.

 

Lastly, before the CXW Roster Profiles, CXW has had no contact with Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo following their releases from TNA Wrestling. On Twitter, after somebody posted a link of this news to Lucas Jackson, Jackson in turn replied “@HulkHogan4Real and co. can fingerpoke my gay ass. Thank god we didn’t tlk 2 them.” – Jackson later deleted this post due to Hulk Hogan’s super injunction of once fingering a black mans bum during his last WWE run when visiting Britain.

 

Character Profiles

 

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/Lucas.jpg

 

Name: Lucas Jackson

From: London, England

Gimmick: Gay

Entrance Music: I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor

Finishing Moves: Tickled Pink (Submission by tickling), Fame Asser

Bio: Lucas Jackson is the only black and gay member of the Corporation X board. Heavily hated for his love of JBL, **** pop music and well, being gay, Jackson is looking to use this to the annoyance of the CXW fans and storm his way to the top. Lucas will use any way possible to get to the top, or get on top of his opponent in a match. Jackson is reaching for the stars, but we’d best get this gay Gary Coleman lookalike a stepladder.

 

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/iggy.jpg

 

Name: “Ignition” Craig Priestly

From: Nottingham, England

Gimmick: Fans Favourite

Entrance Music: For Whom the Bell Tolls – Metallica

Finishing Moves: 3 Minutes to Ignite (jumping DDT), Vertabreaker

Bio: Corporation-X was Ignitions dream. To run a place where the internet can hangout, take part in sports banter, play TEW, talk about wrestling, graphics and everything that goes on in everyday life, and for a moment in time, Corporation X was the place to be. However, due to him not being able to finance the forum any longer, a mystery American backer was brought in which gave Iggy the full control of the board. But now that the American has revealed himself (BuffyandKane), he now wants full control of the forum and Ignition has decided that with the creation of CXW, he will look to retain control of the forum inside the wrestling ring!

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http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/gangbang.jpg

 

CXW Gangbang!

Episode 1 Preview: Pop! Pop! The ‘Rasslin’s on!

 

Earlier today, Thomas H. Dickfingers has announced that there will be a tournament for the yet to be named CXW Championship, and we have just had some news in on who will be participating in the first round/quarter finals of the CXW Title Tournament, where the winner will be decided at the first CXW event, Big Gay Day Out at the end of the month.

 

CXW Title Tournament

Quarter-Final – Match 1

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/Lucas.jpg vs. http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/stiva.jpg

 

It is a battle of North vs. South in this quarter final match up, has “The Nightmare That Tyne Forgot”, the lovable Geordie rogue, Jordan Stiva faces the “Southern Fairy”, Lucas Jackson. Jackson who has the advantage over the CXW roster with professional training in wrestling will be looking to make his mark in CXW, but will Stiva prove to be a tough customer?

 

CXW Title Tournament

Quarter-Final – Match 2

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/jimbob.jpg vs. http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/iwwrocks.jpg

 

In a friendly encounter for the un-named CXW Championship, friends and tag partners Jimbob Lovejoy and IWWROCKS will be facing each other rather than teaming up. In what should be a match of contrasting styles brought to the table with respect and friendship, which member of the Football Mangers will win? The more experienced Jimbob? Or the energetic, tall IWWROCKS?

 

CXW Title Tournament

Quarter-Final – Match 3

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/anderz-1.jpg vs. http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/mitch.jpg

 

It’s everybody’s favourite ginger Anderz in a contest to face everybody’s most disliked punk, Mitch, hey, since when did punks become lovable? In what will be a good match, which wrestler will progress in their conquest to be the best of CXW? Anderz with his rugby background? Or Mitch with his ability to take pain due to the punk gigs he’s endured?

 

CXW Title Tournament

Quarter-Final – Match 4

http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/nakedcowboy.jpg vs. http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/omegaslacker.jpg

 

He is a Naked Cowboy! And he wrestles in his pants! He is a Naked Cowboy! And he loves the crowds naked chants! It’s The Naked Cowboy! He will be facing the stoner, OmegaSlacker in what should be an interesting match up. Will The Cowboy hobnob his way to victory? Or will OmegaSlacker bake his way to the CXW title?

 

Also, Vitamin E. McMahon and BuffyandKane will be making an announcement regarding Ignition and the future of the Corporation X forum. So tune in on Babestation at 12am on Wednesday! Just before the porn!

 

Quick card:

 

Lucas Jackson vs. Jordan Stiva

IWWROCKS vs. Jimbob Lovejoy

Anderz vs. Mitch

The Naked Cowboy vs. OmegaSlacker

 

- Also -

 

Please name our main championship! Winner gets a ringside seat to Big Gay Day Out!

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Lucas Jackson vs. Jordan Stiva - If Lucas wins, I riot

IWWROCKS vs. Jimbob Lovejoy - bit of an obvious choice!

Anderz vs. Mitch - Ginger wins everytime

The Naked Cowboy vs. OmegaSlacker - and so does Naked

 

the championship has to be called: Max Martello's Naked Small Big Boned Italian Championship

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http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g354/MitchthePunk/gangbang.jpg

Thomas H. Dickfingers Proudly Presents:

CXW Gangbang Episode 1: Pop! Pop! The ‘Rasslin’s on!

Commentators: The Rabbitman and Ghost Dogg!

 

The Rabbitman: “We are live from Lucas Jackson’s garden in London, England! This is the first ever episode of CXW Gangbang, live on Babestation! And Ghost Dogg, what a start of a era for professional wrestling!

Ghost Dogg: “Fo’ sho’ ma brotha! We have the start of tha’ tournament fo’ tha CXW title!

 

The Rabbitman: “That is right my urban amigo. And crikey! It doesn’t get any bigger than Jordan Stiva and Lucas Jackson squaring off against each other this early in the tournament!

*********

I am Vitamin. God-damned E. McMahon Goddamnit!

*********

 

After the quick introduction from our shaky commentary team, “No Chance” hits the karaoke system as Vitamin E. McMahon walks out of the house, flanked by BuffyandKane, The Rone and Bone Connection and Tommy Dreamer Fan. McMahon and Buffy and Kane have a ****y smile on their faces as the few fans in attendance boo and hiss at them.

VEM: “You know, every since I started visiting and posting on Corp-X, one thing that always springs to mind is that how awful the British public are! Hell, me and Buffy here have more intelligence in our pinky fingers than you idiots and your country combined. But do not fret; you are not as idiotic as Ignition or the other merry men of Corporation X Wrestling!

 

B&K: “Yes, and nobody is as idiotic or as dumb as that shaggy haired, women’s shirt wearing Ignition, who stupidly believes that he controls the forum despite me financially backing it. I mean, I have more money than you retards have strands of hair. However, this isn’t the point. Iggy, you still believe you’re the owner of Corporation X eh buddy? Well your plight starts tonight.

 

VEM: “That’s right, and what a better way to do it than CXW’s first televised show? Ladies and gentlemen, and those in between. Standing alongside me and Buffy in this ring tonight are three of the hardest, meanest and down right nastiest sumbitches that you will ever have the fortunate pleasure of seeing. We have TommyDreamerFan, a masochistic psychotic who is willing to rip your jaw wide open and take a crap in your mouth. And beside him are the best tag team in the world today, whose uncanny ability to destroy opponents is second to none, this is Rone Rivendale and K-Bone, the Rone and Bone Connection. And Ignition, whether you like it or not, we together are the Takeover, and we are coming to get you!

 

*******

CXW Title Tournament

Quarter-Final – Match 1

The Naked Cowboy vs. OmegaSlacker

********

 

  • A short match but we some decent heat from the crowd maybe that was Lucas’ patio heater.
  • Naked Cowboy dominates OmegaSlacker from the start, showing off some nice brawling skills that are followed by nearly naked squat thrusts.
  • OmegaSlacker, who is probably stoned, is trying to prepare a fight back, but the poor lad is confused. See kids, this is why you shouldn’t do drugs. He probably thinks that he is hallucinating.
  • Naked Cowboy ends Slacker’s road to the CXW title with The Dunkin’ Hobnob for the win.

 

Winner: The Naked Cowboy

 

*********

Ignition Failed?

*********

 

We are backstage and we see Ignition in Lucas’ kitchen looking for some Chocolate Milk, then all of the sudden, the newly formed group, The Takeover sneak up on Ignition and attack him. They throw him to the floor and beat on his ass whilst Vitamin E. McMahon and BuffyandKane watch on with joyous expressions on their American faces.

 

*******

CXW Title Tournament

Quarter-Final – Match 2

Jimbob Lovejoy vs. IWWROCKS

********

  • The match starts with a handshake and a hug. Lads, get a room. Although a kiss would be nice next time.
  • It was an evenly fought contest at the start, with neither man(ager) getting the upper hand, although Jimbob was using his experience to stall IWW’s momentum by taking his glasses off and cleaning them.
  • However, as the match progressed, Jimbob, most likely due to his age, was starting to tire. This was evident by resting on the ropes when IWW was on his back.
  • IWWROCKS picked up the win by hitting The “Just Above Average” move after Jimbob was on his last legs. Afterwards, like a good sport, IWW offers Jimbob a cup of tea and helps him to the back. N’aww.

 

Winner: IWWROCKS

 

***********

Ergh, Northerners!

***********

We are in Lucas’ bedroom where his pink walls are covered in posters of Take That, J-Lo, Barbra Streisand and David Beckham. Lucas appears from his en-suite with a seductive, gay smile and hairbrush in hand.

 

LJ: “Tonight has been a historic night for all those involved with Corporation-X. And no doubt that there will be many historic nights to come. For instance, there will be on at Big Gay Day Out, where I, Lucas Jackson, will become the winner of the yet to be named CXW title. Yes, I have predicted it, and yes, it will happen. Tonight, I face Jordan Stiva in the main-event. And Stiva, babes, I hate northerners. I think that you lot at scum, uneducated and in all honesty, disgusting people, and this is why I’m going to beat you tonight. Beauty over brawn babes."

 

*******

CXW Title Tournament

Quarter-Final – Match 3

Anderz vs. Mitch

********

 

  • The third match of the tournament so-far, which sees Anderz taking on Lucas’ bitch, Mitch.
  • Mitch is dominating early on, using his lighter frame to escape the clutches of Anderz.
  • Mitch then continues to elude Anderz, and manages to get a few sneaky takedowns in.
  • However, the domination doesn’t last too long as Anderz finally catches Mitch and pounds him into the ground. There is no stopping the Ginger Machine has he spears Mitch for a two count.
  • The end comes when Mitch goes for jumping DDT, but Anderz counters it into an inverted atomic drop, followed by a swift Rugby Punt to the Balls for the three count.

 

Winner: Anderz

 

***********

So, lets go on a date then?

***********

We are backstage and we see CyberKitten sitting down whilst she is on her iPhone as well as listening to some music, of that heavy metal type. She is interrupted by a knock at the door, and its BoyDoy.

 

BoyDay: “Hey Kitten, sorry to intrude. But I know how much you’ve gone through a bad time recently from the break-up of your girlfriend, and I was wondering if I could take your mind of it all by taking you out for a meal?

 

CyberKitten: “Al, I’m not really sure. Given what’s gone on, I don’t think I can be bothered…

 

BoyDay: “Please? My treat and I’ll be on my best behaviour, I promise!

 

CyberKitten: “Uhm, ok sure. Why not? But any stunts from you and it’ll be over?

 

BoyDay: “Sure thing!

 

With that, CyberKitten walks off out of her room as BoyDay licks his lips before going over to her chair and sniffing where her arse just was.

 

********

CXW Title Tournament

Quarter-Final – Match 4

Jordan Stiva vs. Lucas Jackson

********

 

  • There are several funny things about this match, despite the wrestling being spot on.
  • Lucas Jackson, the hometown hero so you will, comes out to jeers and chants of Sonya Jackson of Eastenders fame. This angers Lucas, whom swears at the crowd, only to be given a scornful frown by his mother. Lucas then quietly apologises.
  • Stiva dominates the entire match up due to his strength, power and speed. The crowd love him, and so does Lucas’ mother, who blows him a kiss every time he takes a break from his offence.
  • With the match nearly coming to the end, Stiva sets up Jackson for the Kevin Keegan Driver, this brings out Mitch who distracts the referee, only for Lucas to pull out a pink dildo out of his pants and hit Stiva over the head with it.
  • Lucas stuffs it back into his pants and hits the Tickled Pink submission for the win.
  • After the match, Lucas’ mom comes into the ring and slaps Lucas in the face for a) cheating, b) for being gay and c) for owning a dildo. She then tends to Jordan Stiva and feeds him Lucas’ fried chicken.

 

Winner: Lucas Jackson

 

  • Many thanks for the predictions and the title belt naming! IWW wins the predictions a) due to default and b) because he got the most results right. The title naming will be rolling over to the next week of CXW Gangbang! I hope you enjoyed it :)

 

IWWROCKS - 3/4

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