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Any readers want to have a look at a story?


panix04

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This is my final creative writing piece and I need to get a score of 70 to get the degree I want. Although in it's infantile state I am looking to get feedback on it from as many sources as possible. I know you guys are a noisy bunch so i'm hoping you might spair a bit of time to give it the once over and perhaps give me a few suggestions? Feel free to rip me a new one if needed. Nice things won't help me improve, in a way I want someone to tear my work to shreds (as long as they do it in a helpful way!)

 

It is about 4500 words and needs cutting to 4000, so if you have any suggestions on what needs cutting, please suggest away. It is a vaguely comical piece and there is quite a bit of innuendo in it, so if easily offended, please don't read! (There isn't a wealth of swearing or anything, just a few double entendres)

something shiny.doc

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It said three stars when I looked, but I figure someone must have done something to balance it out for you... Looks like more then one, so I figured I would do my part by giving it a one star to balance it back.:p

 

 

Just kidding, I gave it a half star!!:D:p:p

 

 

 

I gave it all the stars, whatever it is, Five I think.:cool:

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