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WWE: That Ain't PG!

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(Author Note: This is using XxFutureLegend112xX's New Power Rising May 2012 mod. So thank him!)


WWE: That Ain't PG! aka the Ballad of Tom Ryan


Prologue: Vince McMahon Hates Me


April 30th, 2012


My name is Tom Ryan. I'm 24 years old, and a wrestling fan. Yeah, I seriously need to grow up.


When I was a kid, I was a big wrestling fan. Since the Attitude Era erupted in the WWF, I was hooked! The brawls, the violence, and the women. It was all a 10 year old kid could want. My friends were WCW fans, but even when I was 10, I could smell a rat from a mile off, and WCW was full of rats. After Vinnie Mac bought WCW and ECW, and that whole crappy InVasion angle went down (which I blame more on Vince's ego if anything), I started losing interest. It was when Brock Lesnar decided, in his infinite wisdom, to leave the company that gave so much to him so he could try out NFL, that I decided to call it quits.


It was in 2006 that the likes of ROH hooked me again. While I didn't watch much WWF, or WWE as they called themselves now, I saw the rise of CM Punk, Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton and last but not least, John 'Superman' Cena himself. Through a set of coincidences that involve beer, corpses, many autograph signings and a Marine punching out John Cena (who proceeded to no sell the punch and FU- Attitude Adjust said Marine, to mixed results), I ended up an intern in the WWE, and found out the madness that lied beneath.


It was a nuthouse. The McMahons ruled the locker room with an iron fist, and promoted the idea of blending reality and fantasy. Half the time, I don't know if I were going to get driven into the floor with a Pedigree from Triple H, or Vince would go up and say to somebody, "YOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED."


Luckily, neither of that happened to me... yet.


2012 opened with a bang, but I watched as WWE tried their best to make an ass out of Bryan Da- I mean Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus go from Irish guy to Super Sheamus 2. Something wasn't right.


I always felt I should be the booker. Well, little did I know, I'd get that wish....


After the Extreme Rules PPV


"We've got them feeding off our palms, damnit!" roared Vince McMahon. He had a huge grin on his face, and it wasn't his medication. He also had an iPad in his hands, and he was on some wrestling board, which also helped explain his joy. I watched him look up at us with an evil joy, then down at his iPad. He was really enjoying this.


Stephanie could only share her father's joy, but being like her father, except not old, and not completely insane yet, her expression fell flat. "So, why did you call us up here for?"


Vince paused. He looked around, unable to keep the grin off his face. Okay, maybe now his meds are kicking in. Then he paused again... and frowned.


"Well, we all know I'm getting old. So I decided, to pick the new head of creative, right here, right now. We need a shakeup here in the WWE, and business is business."


One poor (stupid) executive decided to open his mouth there. "But isn't this a ba-"




Vince suddenly rammed his fist into his iPad, and the executive then seemingly disappeared down a hole, screaming all the way down. Well, there's one executive down.


Pau- I mean Triple H, flashed a big cheesy grin and looked over to Stephanie, pointing his thumbs at himself. He thought he was going to get picked, easily. However, Vince then looked over... straight to me. I sat where I was, my hairs at end. It didn't help when Triple H and Stephanie also glared holes into me.


"You. What do you say."


"About what?"


Vince only glared, "About becoming the head of creative?"


"WHAT?!" cried Stephanie, "Dad, I think those chair shots are more than you bargained for...."


Vince just shook his head. "I don't need no medical attention damnit!"


Pau- I mean, Hunter, looked me dead in the eye. I tried to both look at him and watch out for his leg. I didn't want to get kicked in the groin then driven into the concrete floor, but my attention focused on his eyes as he got closer. This can't be good.


"So you're the new head booker, that's great kid. Just one thing. You know, Monday Night RAW, that you'll be booking soon? I just want to know one thing."


I gulped. "Yes, Trips?"


The stare he gave me spelled death. "Am I ****ing going over?"


Oh, shit.




So according to Vinnie Mac himself, while I'm in charge of booking now, I still need to follow the main card for Over The Limit 2012. Besides the main event matches, I've got freewill to change the card about. So now, I began booking my first Monday Night RAW....


WWE Monday Night RAW!

Week 1, May 2012


Five Pack Challenge to determine the #1 contender to the WWE Championship

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane vs. Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler


WWE United States Championship

Santino Marella © vs. Christian


Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger


Brodus Clay vs. Mason Ryan


Predictions welcome!


(Note: Not the best opening, and I'll say this right now: I'm not very good with coding or putting up images, so it may be a little bare bones for now. Still hope I can do a good diary though! :D)

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Monday Night RAW, Week 1, May 2012

Held in the TA Gardens in Boston, Massachusetts


Dark Matches


Alicia Fox and Layla def. Natalya and Rosa Mendes


Synopsis: Actually a really good match, thanks to the Divas being given more than 2 minutes to do something. Wish I had put it on the main show, actually. Layla is good at pandering to the crowd, and there was some heat when Beth and Kharma rushed on her. After Alicia got beaten down by Natalya and Rosa, whom tagged in and out, Alicia managed to hot tag over to Layla, who, despite being beaten down on before, quickly tore house and ended it with a Face Lift on Rosa.


Perhaps there may be some life to the Diva’s Division….


In a match that had some good action but not much in the way of heat, Alicia Fox and Layla defeated Natalya and Rosa Mendes in 5:50 when Layla defeated Rosa Mendes by pinfall with a Face Lift. During the match we also saw Beth Phoenix run in and attack Layla, and Kharma also attack Layla.


The announcing quality lifted the match. The colour commentary gave the match a boost. The WWE Divas storyline has continued with this match. This match lifted the crowd. Alicia Fox is improving in Rumble skills. Alicia Fox is improving in Technical skills. Layla is improving in Performance skills. Rosa Mendes is improving in Performance skills.


Rating: 76


Alex Riley def. Drew McIntyre


Synopsis: Decent match. A-Ry seems to be trying out some new things in his moveset, while Drew is… well, just Drew (read: boring). A-Ry eventually powers down Drew and nails him with a Spiked DDT.


In a match that had some good action but not much in the way of heat, Alex Riley defeated Drew McIntyre in a Copyright match in 7:08 by pinfall with a Spiked DDT.


The announcing quality lifted the match. The colour commentary gave the match a boost. Alex Riley is improving in Rumble skills. Alex Riley is improving in Technical skills. Alex Riley is improving in Flying skills. Alex Riley is improving in Performance skills.


Rating: 66


The pyro for WWE Monday Night RAW starts up, and the cameras scroll around the stadium, showing the cheering fans, while the theme plays.


Michael Cole: "Welcome to another edition of Monday Night RAW! I'm your host, Michael Cole, and this is my co-host Jerry "The King" Lawler.

Jerry Lawler: "What do you mean co-host Cole? You're my co-host as far as I'm concerned!"

Michael Cole: "Tonight, we will hear from John Cena himself, after his physical beatdown in the hands of Brock Lesnar, and about the rumors circulating WWE.com of a match he will have, with General Manager John Laurinatis."

Jerry Lawler: "Oh man, am I excited for this! We've got some great matches up tonight! A fiveway to see who'll face CM Punk at Over The Limit, and Santino Marella defends his United States title! And even better yet..."

The camera goes over to reveal... JR on the deck!

Jerry Lawler: "Good ol' JR!"

JR: "That's right folks, I'll be here commentating live with Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler, starting this week!"


John Cena In: I can’t carry Johnny Ace to a decent segment



Jerry Lawler: "Wonder what he’s got to say!"


The divisive figurehead of the WWE starts walking down the ring, his arm in a sling from Brock Lesnar’s attacks on Extreme Rules. He enters the ring, and soaks in the reception: while mixed, it’s certainly loud. Cena looks to the crowd: it seems the crowd is REALLY divisive this time around. He flicks a small smile, and adjusts the cap on his head, before speaking.


“In three weeks, I got a match against one Mr. Johnny Ace. He’ll go around and claim he’s the greatest ever, that he was some sort of Hulk Hogan. First of all, Ace-a-mania doesn’t rhyme. Second of all, dawg, I checked up on something called the internet: all you did was win some tag team championships, obviously mooching off the poor guy who had to tag with your sorry ass, and make some move that a dear friend of ours, a certain… viper, if you will, does better.


Now in Over The Limit, I’m making one thing clear. I don’t care if you’ve got Lord Tensai, I don’t care if you’ve got your precious general manager spot, I just don’t give a DAMN about that! Throw everything you got, I’ve rose above hate, I’ve rose above Brock freakin’ Lesnar, and I’m certainly gonna have my hand raised when I beat your ass!”


Thoughts: Unfortunately, for all his talent at working a crowd, Cena couldn’t get much response. It’s likely it was because of his opponent….


Rating: 51


Michael Cole: “John Cena is a disrespectful, unappreciative little snake to say all that, to the man who clawed his way up to the top! But that’s Cena for you!”

Jerry Lawler: “Our General Manager was a ten time world champion in Japan? Wow, tell me more!”


Michael Cole sounds rather smug now, “Well, gladly!”


Jerry Lawler laughs, “I was being sarcastic!”


John Laurinatis enters the ring, flanked by his attorney, David Otunga. He looks rather displeased with Cena’s words.


“John, I come out here to say that I am very upset at your choice of words tonight. I wanted this to be a fair and simple match between us-“


“You hit him on the back of the head with a mic, try to break his arm, and call that fair!?” cries Jerry Lawler.


“But I think you’ve crossed the line there. At Over The Limit, I won’t hesitate to show just why I was the Hulk Hogan of Japan!”


Cena simply smirks, and steps back slightly, rearing up. It looks like he’s about to hit Johnny Ace, but he raises the microphone to his lips, looking rather displeased now.


“All this and I bet you’ll hide behind some-“


The distorted guitar riff causes the fans to pop big time, especially male adult fans. Brock Lesnar comes walking down the ramp, staring holes into Cena. Johnny Ace tries to get out of there as fast as possible.


“Ah! It’s Brock Lesnar!” yells Michael Cole.


"Oh man, this isn't looking too good for Cena!" states the obvious Jerry Lawler.


Cena tries to rush onto Lesnar and beat him down, obviously not learning his lesson from Extreme Rules, but the tables are quickly turned when Lesnar punches Cena right in the gut. He then tries to lock in the Kimura on Cena's injured arm, but Cena kicks him out...


Only for Lesnar to clothesline him over the top rope! Both Cena and Lesnar crumble onto the mat, but Lesnar rolls up to his feet and gets on top of Cena, throwing punch after punch on him. Women are heard audibly screaming as Lesnar lays into Cena, beating him down with his fists. However, Lesnar looks over to the Spanish announce table, and grins. He throttles Cena up to his feet, kicks him, and scoops him up on his shoulders!


“No Lesnar, don’t do this! Oh god!” JR yells, just as Lesnar grins with a feral look around his face. He then drops it into a stone cold expression, and then….


Lesnar drops Cena, with an F-5 right onto the Spanish announce table! And to make matters worse, Cena landed on his shoulder! Cena screams out in agony, as paramedics come to try and get him out.


“The destruction that Brock Lesnar tears, is like a hurricane!” screams Michael Cole, channeling his 2002-2003 self when he used to go on about Brock’s power.


The camera goes on an ad break, as we watch Lesnar look over Cena’s twitching body, Cena grasping his shoulder in agony.


Thoughts: While I’m not a fan of Laurinatis being an on-air personality, he carries himself fine, even if his voice makes me laugh. Still drags down Cena big time. Personally I think this could be a good way to write him out, so he can focus on backstage work. Brock destroying Cena and trying to hurt his arm further helps the storyline go, and I see big things for the two, especially should they get a rematch.


Rating: 67 for Cena/Laurinatis, 92 for Brock destroying Cena


Zack Ryder, Job Another Day?


Zack Ryder def. Jack Swagger


Synopsis: To this day, I don’t know what WWE were trying to pull, burying Zack Ryder like they did. I like the guy and his gimmick a lot, and he really can channel the fans through. The match starts off pretty fast, Swagger tries to get Ryder down with his technical prowess, but Ryder powers out and tries to use his fists, punching at Swagger as hard as he can. Vickie Guerrero seems to have formed some chemistry with Swagger, as she managed to get quite a bit of heat going by distracting Ryder, allowing Swagger to slam him down with a tremendous forearm, then hit a rebound splash off the top rope onto Ryder for a near-fall.


Michael Cole, of course, is bashing Ryder because he can, “I don’t get this Ryder kid, King. He looks like an idiot, he acts like one too, and he only got where he was because of John Cena!”


“It’s nice to have friends in high places Cole!” says Lawler.


Swagger, getting frustrated, tries to lock in an Ankle Lock, but Ryder kicks him right in the face. Swagger staggers to the corner, and Ryder gets the crowd into a, “WOO! WOO! WOO!” he then rushes at Swagger, and boots him right in the face! With all the momentum now, Ryder jumps onto Swagger’s head, and puts him flat on the canvas with the Zack Attack!


An entertaining match for sure, but the lack of psychology really showed at some parts, and it seemed the two were stalling so they could hit their big spots.


In a bout that featured great action and a good crowd, Zack Ryder defeated Jack Swagger in a Copyright match in 8:11 by pinfall with a Zack Attack.

Jack Swagger seemed off his game tonight. Jack Swagger and Vickie Guerrero have pretty good chemistry. The match suffered from a lack of psychology, it could have really used somebody with the knowledge of how to construct a proper flow.


Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler work extremely well together at the announcer's table. The announcing quality lifted the match. Zack Ryder is improving in Technical skills. Jack Swagger is improving in Flying skills. Jack Swagger is improving in Performance skills.


Rating: 72




Vickie Guerrero, angered at Swagger’s defeat, goes up to the ring, still cheering for Ryder finally getting a good victory. She gets a microphone, and looks out at the crowd, rather angry.


“EXCUSE ME!” her shrill voice echoes. The crowd only boo her, and still chant for Ryder. “EXCUSE ME-“




The fans explode as Randy Orton walks out, an intent stare on his face. It looks like he's about to RKO everybody in the arena. Hell, I'd pay to see that.


“Uh oh, this doesn’t look too good for Vickie Guerrero, the Apex Predator himself is here!” cries Lawler.


JR is also agreeing, "If I were Vickie Guerrero, I'd get outta here in a boomer-sooner!"


"RUN VICKIE, RUN!" screams Michael Cole, "SAVE YOURSELF!"


Orton reaches the ring, and looks right at Vickie Guerrero, his face vacant of any expression. Vickie, perhaps not realizing that she's face-to-face with one of the most dangerous men in the WWE, just screams in his face.




Orton just says one thing, well, more like a few, “My name is Randy Orton. And excuse this.”


Orton grabs Vickie's head, and the announcer’s orga- reactions are enough to tell, “RKO! RKO! RKO!” Cole yells at the top of his lungs, as Vickie is driven onto the floor by the tremendous strike.


"I don't think that's PG material!" lampshades Lawler.


Although Orton has just RKO’ed a WOMAN, a no-no in today’s WWE, the fans still cheer for him, because he RKO'ed Vickie of all women. He poses on the turnbuckle, taking in the cheers....


When Dolph Ziggler runs down the ramp, intent on revenge! Swagger retrieves the injured Vickie, and Ziggler slides into the ring, laying at Orton! However, Orton also fires back, and the Viper soon knocks down Ziggler with a kick to the face. Orton then grins sadistically, and falls onto the floor, slamming his hands on the mat, waiting for Ziggler to get up. The dazed Ziggler stands up, Orton grabs his head, spins around for the RKO... and Ziggler pushes him off! Ziggler then slides out of the ring, but is ranting and screaming at him, channeling some Nature Boy, while Orton stares stoically.


"Orton's attack was sick, twisted, and completely unjustified!" cries Cole, who is banging his fist on the table.


"She had it coming!" grins Lawler.


Rating: 83 for Orton RKO’ing Vickie/83 for Ziggler attacking Orton


Somebody Cancel His Contract!


Brodus Clay def. Mason Ryan


Synopsis: Typical Funkasaurus squash. Nothing to write home about.


In an extremely short match, Brodus Clay defeated Mason Ryan in a Copyright match in 4:13 by pinfall.


The announcing quality lifted the match. The colour commentary gave the match a boost. This match brought the crowd's mood down.


Rating: 38


Peeps vs. Broskis, The Fan War Begins!


The camera now shows Zack Ryder walking down the backstage, grinning after his hard-earned victory. There is Christian, who brushes past him.


"I've got more fans than you."


"Oh yeah? It helps if you take care and spike your hair," grins Ryder.


"Yeah, and you've spent the last few months being thrashed by Kane."


Christian leaves, leaving Ryder to fume.


Thoughts: For a two minute segment, Christian and Ryder really showed that there’s definitely potential for a feud in there. For now, consider a match at Over The Limit booked.


Rating: 85


Santino is a joke aka COBRA COBRA COBRA


WWE United States Championship

Christian def. Santino Marella © to win the United States Championship


Santino actually starts off with some good offense, using hip tosses to keep Christian grounded. Sadly, Christian is quite agile, and it's not before long that a well-placed dropkick takes Santino off his feet. The two grapple and trade blows, with Santino pandering to the crowd with comical flailing when Christian hit him with a particularly powerful hit, but before long, Santino manages to hit a DDT.


He then reaches in... and pulls out the Cobra! He pulls it over his arm, and puts his hand out, waiting to hit the staggering Christian.


"Here we go! COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!" cries Michael Cole.


However, Christian turns... Santino lunges! Christian ducks! He runs up to the ropes, bounces off, and slams right into Santino with a Spear! Santino crumbles onto the mat, and wasting no time, Christian then rolls up Santino, one, two… three for the three count! As his music plays, Christian retrieves the belt, and straps it around his shoulder, grinning as he basks in his title victory.


Michael Cole is among the first to celebrate, “And Christian, a man I can respect, is the new United States champion! Take that, all you Santino fans out there! Italians are never good champions!”


“Oh come on, Christian got lucky! Even so, this might mean Zack Ryder gets another shot at the US title, come Over The Limit!” says Lawler.


In a bout that featured great action but not much in the way of heat, Christian defeated Santino Marella in a Copyright match in 7:59 by pinfall with a Spear. Christian wins the WWE United States title.


Santino Marella seemed off his game tonight. The announcing quality lifted the match. Santino Marella is improving in Technical skills. Santino Marella is improving in Performance skills.


Rating: 72


Lil’ Jimmy watches The Tooth Fairy


As the camera opens to Rock and Truth, Rock is visibly facepalming, “The Rock says this is the dumbest thing he’s ever seen a man do! And I have seen a lot of stupid stuff around the SmackDown hotel!”


The camera pans out to reveal R-Truth holding a DVD case of The Tooth Fairy, with a blue screen on the HDTV. His eyes seem to be popping out, and he looks over to the empty couch, face scrunched up in rage, “Now, Lil’ Jimmy told me this af’ernoon, that he wanted to see The Rock, in a movie! And I thought, Lil’ Jimmies love dem movies! And Lil' Jimmies like cute stuff! So I decided…” he then puts the case in front of the camera, much to Rock’s horror, it must suck having your biggest shame advertised for the whole world to see.


“I’ll go get dis movie, and see what all da fuss is all about! But guess what? I wasted a dolla on this one DVD, and Lil’ Jimmy told me that... it insults the intelligence of everyb'y in this big blue Earth, even the littlest Jimmies! You know what I think? I think dis was a CONSPIRACY to make da WORST movie of all-time, and so da Rock feels so embarrassed, he can NEVAH show his face on da Dubya Dubya E, EVER again.”


Rock stands up, “The Rock says the hell with your conspiracies, The Rock got talked into it, The Rock wanted to make all the little jabronis happy, and then he... has regretted it ever since. The Rock has been in a fair share of conspiracies, and The Rock has got to say, that the Tooth Fairy was not his greatest moment! No, his greatest moment is checking John Cena's candyass into the SmackDown hotel and laying a can of whoopass on him!"


The fans explode, Cena's defeat in the hands of Rock still fresh in their minds. But R-Truth looks blankly at The Rock, then over to the DVD. He stares furiously at the DVD, but lifts up the case in a dissonant fashion.


“Rock, I gotta say, the conspiracy ain't over yet, so... THIS MOVIE GON GET GOT!” R-Truth then PUNCHES the DVD case, causing it to go flying into the wall. The Rock then drops an elbow onto the DVD case, causing a visible crunch.




Rating: 83


Kelly Kelly? I was in the toilet


Kelly Kelly def. Eve


Synopsis: Poor Eve. She and Kelly put up a watchable match, but she keeps on getting the “HOE-SKI HOE-SKI HOE-SKI” chants. She takes it in good charm though, and smirks when she has Kelly in a binder. However, Kelly fights back, and she soon ends the match.


In a match that had some good action but not much in the way of heat, Kelly Kelly defeated Eve in a Copyright match in 5:39 by pinfall with a K2.


There were times when there was a definite lack of psychology on display, and the match had a tendency to drift a little. The announcing quality lifted the match. The colour commentary gave the match a boost.


Rating: 64




Sheamus strides down the ramp, the World Heavyweight title belt strapped over his shoulder. The fans cheer at the sudden appearances of SmackDown's top guy, and he quickly takes a mic, luckily not trying to drink from it. Damn Irish.


"Hey fellas. I'm here to put out an open challenge to anyone man enough, to fight me on Friday Night! I want to say that anyone who comes out in the next ten seconds, gets a non-title match, fella!"


The lights then go out. Suddenly...




The light up jacket illuminates Jericho, who turns over and prances down to the ring. Jericho plays up to the crowd, who both cheer and boo him, while Sheamus just smiles mockingly.


"You want a fight? You got it! I'll prove you Irish people are nothing more, but a bunch of no good drunkards who live off getting a single holiday dedicated to them."


The tension is obvious, but the two refuse to stand down.


"Maybe we've got a new contender for the World Heavyweight Championship!" proclaims Lawler.


Rating: 89 for Sheamus’ challenge/87 for Jericho’s answer


The Miz hypes himself up (as usual)


"Here we go! The number one contender's match for the WWE Championship, is starting right now!"




The fans start to boo and hiss as The Miz strolls out, holding a customized microphone. He looks around, smirking at the fans as he rides into the ring. He's the first in the ring, so he stares at the set, waiting for someone to come out.


"So I, The Miz, have gotten another contender's match. I think the management should stop screwing me around, and give me a proper match! They're afraid because they know I'm the only one capable, of carrying this company as the WWE Champion. I know that if I were to face CM Punk for the WWE Championship, I'd crush his skull with ease! So, expect me to go into Over The Limit as the number one contender to the WWE Championship.


Because I'm The Miz, and I'm... AWWWWWWWEEEESOME."


"What an arrogant, self-inflated young gun. The Miz has all the talent in the world, but it's his sheer cockiness which proves his undoing!" notes JR.


"The Miz has all the right to be arrogant! He's The Miz!" says Michael Cole, our favorite fanboy starting to drool over Miz, "I wouldn't be surprised if he walks into Over The Limit, and beats that rebellious little punk CM Punk for the title."


"Keep dreaming, Cole!" laughs Lawler.


Rating: 89


#1 Contender’s Match

Daniel Bryan def. The Miz, Kane, Randy Orton and Dolph Ziggler


The match soon exploded into a brawl before you know it. Kane was the highlight in that part, as he threw around Miz, Orton, Ziggler and Bryan with intensity, and in one major spot, booted Bryan off the apron so hard that Bryan fell onto the announcer's table. However, Kane got onto the top rope, ready to follow up, when Miz lowblowed him! Kane falls onto the turnbuckle, and Orton takes advantage, hanging him on the second rope and slamming Kane's skull with a Reverse Hangman DDT!


Throughout the match, all got their moments to shine. Bryan hit an impressive series of kicks onto Ziggler, then was backdropped onto the mat by Orton. However, the end came when Miz was taken out. With Kane out, and Bryan struggling to get on his feet outside the ring, this left only Orton and Miz.


As Randy Orton slammed his fists onto the mat, ready to mark out The Miz for an RKO, the crowd were ecstatic. Miz staggered to his feet, and turned around....


"Randy Orton, the Viper is marking his prey, hunting down that championship gold!"


"It'll be CM Punk vs. Randy Orton at Over The Limit!"


But then, Ziggler threw himself at Orton, causing him to fall back onto the ropes! Ziggler then clotheslined Orton over the top rope, and got out of the ring to follow up, stomping and clubbing at Orton. While Ziggler dealt with Orton, this left Bryan. Instead of locking on the "YES!" Lock though, Bryan decided to start blasting Miz on the head with some savage looking elbows, which seemed to visibly hurt, chanting, "YES!" with each strike. Soon enough, Miz screamed, "I TAP! I TAP!" causing the bell to ring.


"Bryan's going to get a shot at being WWE Champion!" chants Cole.


In a match that had excellent in-ring action and great heat from the audience, Daniel Bryan defeated Kane, The Miz, Randy Orton and Dolph Ziggler in 11:40 when Daniel Bryan defeated The Miz by submission with a Repeated Elbow Strikes to The Head.


Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler work extremely well together at the announcer's table. The WWE US storyline has continued with this match. The Viper vs. #HEEL storyline has continued with this match. This match lifted the crowd. The Miz is improving in Technical skills. Kane is improving in Performance skills. Randy Orton is improving in Technical skills. Randy Orton is improving in Performance skills. Dolph Ziggler is improving in Technical skills. Dolph Ziggler is improving in Flying skills.


Rating: 82


Best In The World? Maybe not in the indies




The fans roar as WWE Champion CM Punk arrives, holding up the ridiculous looking WWE Championship. He gets on the mic.


"So this guy, this... self-absorbed, misogynistic, vegan, is my #1 contender? You know, it's not like I've got anything against people who aren't straight edge... well, actually, I kind of do, but it's all cool to choose what you want to choose. But I'm not going to let you choose the WWE Championship, that title is mine, and will be mine until the second Summer of Punk!"


Bryan looks confused (probably at the lampshading more than anything), then a smug expression crosses his face. "You're just jealous because your straight-edge leanings, have nothing on the righteous path that being a vegan is all about! And when I make you tap for the WWE Championship...."


Bryan starts hopping around the ring, leading the crowd to a "YES! YES! YES!" chant. CM Punk is not amused, and simply scowls.


"We'll see what'll happen, Friday night on SmackDown!"


The episode ends at Bryan chanting, "YES!" in front of Punk, the tension between the two obvious.


Rating: 87


Final Rating: 81


Superstars, Week 1, May 2012

Quick Results (cause no one cares about Superstars)


Dark Matches


Michael McGillicutty def. Yoshi Tatsu

Rating: 75


The Show


Former US Champion Santino entertains the audience, being a wacky gooker like he is.

Rating: 76


Then Zack Ryder comes out! The two continue to entertain the fans, mostly by trading catchphrases. We get to hear Santino butcher, “WOO WOO WOO!”

Rating: 80


Antonio Cesaro def. Titus O’Neill

Rating: 16


Hornswoggle does a bikini contest, with Diva’s Champion Layla and Natayla. He tries to cop a feel, and judging by the looks on the Divas’ faces, it wasn’t part of the script.

Rating: 68


Tyson Kidd def. Curt Hawkins

Rating: 57


R-Truth and Kofi Kingston have an interview. It’s mostly Truth ranting for one minute against Lil’ Jimmies. And Samoans.

Rating: 68


R-Truth & Kofi Kingston def. The Usos

Rating: 76


(Note: I'm still working on how I should write the show, and I don't want to outright rip off anyone else's formula. I'll be [/b]changing it quite a lot, but I'd love some comments and critique :D)

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Aftermath: Women, taken seriously in the WWE? Pssst.


Monday Night RAW had gone over really well with the fans. People seem to be enjoying the new feud set up between CM Punk and former World Champion Daniel Bryan, and some new feuds have been set up too. Things were going swimmingly... or perhaps not.


Randy Orton was not happy about not winning the match. He didn't cause trouble, but I was warned not to leave my bags open... or go walking down the backstage while he's around. I just paid Orton off, and the only thing he said was....


"Your bags will be spared. For now."




Then there was the next creative meeting we had with the crew. Besides some backstabbing trash talk about former WWE talent, and Triple H grinning his face off for some reason, which he explained in full for all of us.


"I'm happy cause I didn't need to put anyone over tonight. And I've found some new targets!"


From the corner of my eye, I saw him hold out a notepad, with several young names on it.


My list of guys to bury before I (never) retire


Dolph Ziggler

Zack Ryder

Wade Barrett (an English guy, main eventing WWE? It's less likely than you think)

Cody Rhodes (cause **** Dusty)

Ted Dibiase (just one Pedigree will do the trick)


Stephanie nodded, also wearing a shit-eating grin on her face. She then looked over to me, "So, got any ideas?"


I had time to think about it while watching the show. The Diva's Division had potential, but the over-reliance on models and gymnasts trained to try and replicate the success of Trish Stratus has been... glaring, to be honest. While the male scene was fine for now, I always wanted to try booking a good women's division, and the Diva's Division is anything but. So, I spoke my mind... and decided to see how long it would be before Vince fired me.


"Maybe... we could hire some more women? And promote the Diva's Division seriously?"


Vince seemed genuinely shocked at that notion, "What do you mean? The fans love seeing the Divas. I don't see how women can wrestle on an equal level to men."


"Stop being such a mark, man," said Stephanie, "you marks, you seem to think hiring a woman with some real talent would make everything better. Where can you get such a Diva? Japan?"


That suddenly gave me an idea. Then I looked over to Triple H, who simply crossed his arms and looked at me.


"Whoever you bring in, I wanna squash her."


Will Trips ever stop acting like he's in 2003?


Friday Night SmackDown!

Friday (taped Tuesdays), Week 1, May 2012


Chris Jericho vs. Sheamus

The Great White has had his fair share of troubles lately, and after barely overcoming the challenge of Daniel Bryan, an open challenge was answered by Chris Jericho of all people! Can the World Heavyweight Champion prove his mettle, or will Y2J put down The Great White?


Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

After Daniel Bryan stole the win at Monday Night RAW, Randy Orton has gotten a singles match against him, mostly to sooth the ego of the Apex Predator. Will the Viper strike again and end the threat of the #1 contender to the WWE Championship, or will Bryan be the one shouting, "YES! YES! YES!"


WWE Intercontinental Championship

Cody Rhodes © vs. Alex Riley

Despite some major setbacks, Alex Riley has managed to secure a title shot against the former "Dashing" Cody Rhodes. With Rhodes more bothered about the BIG problem at his doorstep, though, could A-Ry use this to score an upset, and some gold?


Current Over The Limit 2012 card


WWE Championship

CM Punk © vs. Daniel Bryan


John Cena vs. John Laurinitus


WWE United States Championship

Christian © vs. Zack Ryder


Predictions and comments welcome! :D

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