SWF - The New Kid from Nowhere

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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17, 2010

 

4:30 P.M.

 

No rest for the wicked. Although I partied with the workers as usual after Supreme TV in San Juan, we had to be up early so we could all fly to South Carolina, where Centerpiece Bridge is located. Mr. Eisen wasn't one to let us slack off. He wanted us to focus on the business side - being in South Carolina instead of San Juan meant the creative team could meet while the wrestlers could train at a local gym with less outside distractions.

 

Let's put it this way. When you think Richard Eisen, you think of the business of sports entertainment. In his world, entertainment comes first, followed by business, followed by sports. That's why mediocre monsters like Everest got hired and pushed while smaller talents like the Bumfholes floated along without any real movement up the cards until I got hired. But going back to the "business" side, Eisen wanted to discuss the future of the company. So instead of joining the workers as I was wont to do, Eisen insisted that he sequester us - the entire creative team - in our hotel room as we tried to strategize. We're already global, so how do we stay global?

 

"I suggest focusing less on the sex and the sleaze and more on wholesome good guy vs bad guy action, like in those old comic books," offered Pat Deacon in the early part of our meeting. "I think Emma Chase should put on more clothes. Have her wear slacks instead of accompanying Train in those micro-minis of hers."

 

"Pat, it wouldn't change a thing. She's still going to give Train's opponents a peek at the puppies as the big guy sneaks up on them with a Train Wreck. We can't switch back to Lobby-style wholesomeness just like that," I replied with a snap of the fingers.

 

"Speaking of Lobby, that How I Met Your Mother parody you had Chris do with Brandon and Joe was the drizzling s---s," said Marcus McKing with brutal honesty. He was right. I wasn't comfortable with Brandon playing the good guy. Somebody had to become a babyface when Brandon complained to me about finding Emma difficult to work with, and it wasn't going to be Emma.

 

"Marcus, watch the potty mouth!", complained Pat.

 

"Well sor-ry, Fr. Pat, I should've told Brian the parody was the slightly raining excrement."

 

Soon enough, everyone was trying to get a word in edgewise.

 

"Does Robbie Retro's character have a future? Use him more!"

 

"Painful Procedure needs to be written out, fast!"

 

"Too much interference!"

 

"Too many rich guys - make Huntingdon lose his fortune! Or at least make him lose the English accent!"

 

"More Jessie, less Hannah!"

 

"Women's division, PLEASE!"

 

"Rick, easy with the potty mouth!"

 

"Unmask the Gauge brothers!"

 

"Fire Big Smack Scott! This isn't baseball where it's 'three strikes you're out', you've got to be more ruthless and fire him, not just fine him!"

 

"Get Jay Chord out of developmental!"

 

"DON'T get Jay Chord out of developmental!"

 

And so that's how things went for the next several minutes - everybody talking over everyone else. And Mr. Eisen actually liked it that way. For some odd reason, he liked watching us interrupt each other and go off-tangent - he was just taking down notes that he could worry about later when the meeting was over.

 

Fortunately, things were much more civilized when time came to talk about who to sign next. Ford Gumble notwithstanding, I signed wisely and hired young guys with potential and camera skills. But Mr. Eisen had notified us about some exciting stuff to take place before the end of March.

 

"We can sign 'em both."

 

We all wanted to know who they were.

 

"It's going to take a lot of money to sign one of them and he's no longer a young man. We may need to cut a few workers loose when their contracts are up. But he'll be worth the investment."

 

Still, he wasn't telling any one of us who these potential signings were, as if he assumed we should already know by now.

 

"Now the other one, he's no spring chicken either, but going back to what Pat was saying, we're going to have to make the product a little more family-friendly. Yes, we can still have an edgy product, but perhaps toned down just a bit to ensure that we can sign him. I'm telling you, he's still on top of his game. Now both of these guys can add some spice to the championship picture. I'm thinking of having Eric become more of an authority figure type and wrestle less frequently. As a dad, it still worries me at times to see him out there. So pretty soon, it's going to be Jack, Rich, possibly Remo, Vengeance or Faith but only one of them, plus one or both of these potential additions."

 

"Who are they?", I asked.

 

"You should know that, you're the head booker," replied Eisen, laughing wryly and again, assuming I was already on top of the situation. "Negotiation can begin at the end of March."

 

Well, guess that's something for me to find out on Monday.

 

SWF UPRISING - Thursday, March 18, 2010

Centerpiece Bridge (Mid-Atlantic)

 

The New High Concept! vs The Parts Unknown (Dark)

Ford Gumble vs Billy Jack Shearer (Dark)

The Biggz Boyz vs Death Row

Joe Sexy vs Big Smack Scott

Randy Bumfhole © vs Gregory Black for Shooting Star Title

Robbie Retro vs Man Mountain Cahill

Captain Atomic vs Squeeky McClean

Steve Frehley vs Frederique Antonio Garcia

[Blake Trask]

Bruce?

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Bruce?

 

If you're referring to Bruce the Giant, no, it's not him. He's not one of the two newcomers who should be debuting early in April. But yeah, they're both in the same age range, only more talented in the ring.

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SWF UPRISING - Thursday, March 18, 2010

Centerpiece Bridge (Mid-Atlantic)

 

 

DARK MATCHES:

 

New High Concept! d. Parts Unknown in 5:38 via Prudential Pain Plan on Part One (59)

Shearer d. Gumble in 5:07 via Rhythm 'n' Bruise (45)

 

 

UPRISING:

 

 

Biggz Boyz d. Death Row in 6:29 using the ropes, Knuckles pinned (54) - also incl. dist. from Batch vs Bart and Brett

 

ANGLE - Let's Do the Freddy! is back, and "Fabulous" Freddy Garcia tries to interview Steve Frehley, who'll be facing Squeeky McClean later on tonight. The Q&A session soon turns ugly, as Frehley insults Garcia, which leads to an Odd Couple beatdown on the Dark Destroyer. (OOC - For Freddy's interview segment, think Adrian Adonis' "Flower Shop", with Freddy as Adrian and Squeeky as a younger, straight-edge version of "Cowboy" Bob Orton Jr.) (73/75/77)

 

Sexy d. Scott in 8:28 via One Night Stand (54)

 

ANGLE - A pointless little pre-match brawl between Randy Bumfhole and Greg Black. (65)

 

R. Bumfhole d. Black in 6:08 via DQ, DuBois int. (71) - Randy Bumfhole retains Shooting Star title

 

ANGLE - With Black DQ'd on account of DuBois' surprise interference, the two men decide to kick Randy B. around while he's down. This impresses Vengeance, who hits the ring two minutes later. While he doesn't beat down any further on Randy, he takes the opportunity to welcome DuBois into the Slaves of Yesterday despite not having a "dark" past to escape from. (78)

 

Retro d. Cahill in 5:57 via DQ, Hopkirk int. (47)

 

ANGLE - Robbie Retro dances to his theme music (now switched back to the Commodores' "Machine Gun") after his DQ win vs Cahill. (54)

 

Train d. Valiant in 7:09 via Train Wreck, Chase int. (58) - also incl. dist. Hannah vs Train

 

ANGLE - Your average, everyday Runaway Train victory celebration. (69)

 

ANGLE - Taken a day before Uprising, Eric Eisen, Man Mountain Cahill, Randall Hopkirk and Billy Jack Shearer are all at a recording studio trying to get some tracks down. A few comments about Vengeance's stable can be heard, but the Supremacist reminds them that they're there to record, not to talk wrestling. As Eric exits the studio, Shearer remarks "Worst singer I ever worked with." Cahill agrees but says that Eric isn't like Jack Bruce - at least Eric lets 'em have fun. (61)

 

McClean d. Atomic in 7:52 via Stain Removal (70) - also incl. int. Garcia vs Atomic

 

ANGLE - Highlights from Tuesday's Supreme TV, where Vengeance became the number one contender for the World Heavyweight belt, defeating Christian Faith and Remo in a three-way. (86)

 

Frehley d. Garcia in 11:37 via Frehley's Comet (78) - also incl. int. McClean vs Frehley

 

 

 

Final Grade - 72/B-

Uprising Rating - 0.47

[Blake Trask]

If you're referring to Bruce the Giant, no, it's not him. He's not one of the two newcomers who should be debuting early in April. But yeah, they're both in the same age range, only more talented in the ring.

 

That was my guess.

 

Just as a formatting thing, I think the shows would run better if you, rather than broke it up into MATCHES and then ANGLES, integrated them both.

 

As in, had X def Y

 

Angle

 

Z def. B

 

Angle

 

And so on and so forth. Splitting matches and angles disrupts the flow and makes it difficult to picture a coherent show.

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That was my guess.

 

Just as a formatting thing, I think the shows would run better if you, rather than broke it up into MATCHES and then ANGLES, integrated them both.

 

As in, had X def Y

 

Angle

 

Z def. B

 

Angle

 

And so on and so forth. Splitting matches and angles disrupts the flow and makes it difficult to picture a coherent show.

 

Will keep that in mind, thanks for the feedback! I'll be working backwards to reformat the shows. I split the matches from the angles for convenience - I only screen-capture the match results for reference, but not the angles, so it was easier for me to document things on the diary that way. But you do have a point - it is kind of hard to keep up with the format I'm using.

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MONDAY, MARCH 22, 2010

 

10:30 A.M.

 

Damned if their contracts weren't going to be expiring soon. Mr. Eisen had indeed left me with a tough task - signing Mystery Worker #1 and preparing to spend a lot of moolah for him, and convincing Mystery Worker #2 to sign, period. No, I cannot tell you who they are. But as early as now, I've got some plans for them. They should be onboard right in time for The World is Watching.

 

The World is Watching will be everybody's big chance to make an impact. That's because of the Battle for Supremacy, the 30-man battle royal that usually highlights the show. Now let me tell you something, pardon my usage of the "standard promo starter" line from way back. It can be a challenge writing a 30-man battle royal, figuring out who gets eliminated when and by whom. But then again, why not let the workers improvise, as long as everyone knows beforehand who's slated to win, who's slated to stick it out in the Final Four, and so on, and so forth.

 

But before all that, I'll have to book those qualifying matches.

 

 

2:00 P.M.

 

"Brian, Jack Bruce is here to see you..."

 

"Thanks, Kathy."

 

Mmmmkay! Time for another tete-a-tete with Jack Bruce. Once my biggest critic, and now...I guess you can say he's still my biggest critic. At least I'm almost assured he's not going to try anything funny when he steps into my office.

 

 

2:15 P.M.

 

Sure, he may have apologized, but that doesn't make Jack any less intense when it comes to discussing the direction of his character.

 

"Brian, you can't keep passing me up for a title shot. Money vs Vengeance should be good, but what's in it for me? Are you seriously NOT going to give me a chance at the strap for three months? Three months, Brian. I had my last title match in January, and you had me putting Eric over."

 

"I dunno, Jack, but that's where things are leading to right now. Rich Money is champion, and you know how over he is with the crowds. They want to be him because, well, he IS money. But they relate to him because he's darker, more mysterious and less showy about his riches than he was as a heel. Things are always subject to change, but as of now, I want that strap on him for quite a while."

 

"What about me? What about Mr. Showtime over here? The Cream of the Crop? The Long Island Angel?"

 

I smiled upon hearing Jack refer to himself as "Mr. Showtime" et al. outside of the ring. "Mr. Showtime will get his chance soon enough."

 

"When, huh, after The World is Watching? I know you want old man Eisen's boyfriend Faith Christian going over at the Battle so that he can face either Rich or SDB for the title. Dammit, Bri. Stop being so f---ing obvious in your quest to book an 'A' match or doing so at the expense of others. There are so many things you need to learn about booking." Having said that, Jack stood up, his now-cold cup of coffee half-finished, and slammed the door on me.

 

Hey, at least he didn't punch me. But he did leave me with a dilemma. Now I had at least two workers whom I could possibly book to win the Battle for Supremacy.

 

 

SWF SUPREME TV - Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Clover Fields (Mid-South)

 

BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY QUALIFIERS:

 

Robbie Retro vs Billy Russell (Dark)

Donnie J vs Kurt Laramee (Dark)

Death Row vs The Parts Unknown (Dark)

Jack Bruce vs Billy Jack Shearer

Steve Frehley vs Big Smack Scott

Valiant vs Marc DuBois

Jack Giedroyc and American Machine vs The Odd Couple

Angry Gilmore vs Eric Eisen

Chris Morrisette vs Kid Toma

Christian Faith vs John Greed

 

RULES FOR QUALIFYING - All participants get a maximum two chances to make it to the Battle except in extenuating circumstances as defined by the Commissioner, Mr. Eric Tyler. Participants can qualify via pinfall, submission, disqualification or countout. Draws (double DQ, time limit, double countout, etc.) will be counted against the participants' chances to qualify.

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SWF SUPREME TV - Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Clover Fields (Mid-South)

 

 

DARK MATCHES:

 

Retro d. Russell in 4:40 via Murder on the Dancefloor

Laramee d. Donnie J. in 5:15 via Switchblade Powerslam

Death Row d. Parts Unknown in 4:12 via Death Sentence on Part Two

 

 

SUPREME TV:

 

 

ANGLE - Mr. Tyler announces a few qualifying matches for the Battle for Supremacy. Instead of teaming up as usual, Valiant and Giedroyc will be split up - Valiant faces Marc DuBois, while Giedroyc partners with American Machine to face the Odd Couple. Jack Bruce will kick off the non-dark qualifying matches by facing his former bandmate, Billy Jack Shearer. (73)

 

Bruce d. Shearer in 6:26 via foreign object (drumsticks) (81)

 

ANGLE - In a promo worthy of subtitles, Big Smack Scott rants against his qualifying opponent, Steve Frehley. (71)

 

Frehley d. Scott in 6:30 via Frehley's Comet (68)

 

DuBois d. Valiant in 7:15 via Model Solution (79) - also incl. int. Remo and Black vs Valiant

 

ANGLE - Adding insult to injury, DuBois grabs his new (literal) foreign object, the Canadian flag, and uses the pole to attack Valiant, who's already been softened up by the earlier interference from Remo and Greg Black. (62)

 

Odd Couple d. Giedroyc and Machine in 1:45 via flash pinfall on Machine, dist. from Batch (63)

 

COMMENT - Duane Fry notices Carl Batch's surprise appearance - why does he seem so interested in watching the Odd Couple vs Giedroyc and Machine? Doesn't he manage Death Row? In any case, Batch suddenly showing up is enough to throw off the ad hoc pairing of Giedroyc and Machine and give the Odd Couple a win in less than two minutes. (OOC - Dunno if I should've turned this into a "Worker Surprisingly Appears" angle.)

 

ANGLE - Rich Money does an interview with Jerry Eisen. He tells Jerry about how little talent his younger brother Eric has, something he had proven at Awesome Impact. He also calls Remo a traitor, a coward and a bully following his surprise attack at Awesome Impact. (84)

 

ANGLES - Peter Michaels is backstage, where he interviews Angry Gilmore, who's still concerned about how Marat Khoklov refuses to give up the ghost. If Khoklov wants a third match, he'll be happy to oblige. Next, Michaels interviews Eric Eisen, Gilmore's opponent in the upcoming Battle for Supremacy qualifying match. Eric emphasizes the fact that he is the Supremacist; as such, there's no way he wouldn't be able to qualify for the aforementioned battle royal. (81/90)

 

Gilmore d. E. Eisen in 8:11 via DQ, int. Khoklov vs Gilmore (74)

 

ANGLE - Eric Eisen and Marat Khoklov argue due to the latter's interference costing the former a spot at the Battle for Supremacy. (85)

 

Morrisette d. Toma in 7:17 via Shellfish Shock (76) - also incl. int. Brave and Train vs Morrisette

 

ANGLES - Runaway Train returns to the ring to beat down on Morrisette, but Brandon James runs in to save his Menagerie stablemate. (76/77)

 

Faith d. Greed in 10:05 via Test of Faith, blatant cheating (81) - also incl. int. from Vengeance, Remo and Black vs Faith

 

ANGLES - After the surprisingly tough match versus Greed, Faith celebrates his win, but is beaten down by the Slaves of Yesterday, with all members except new recruit DuBois participating. Brandon James and Joe Sexy run in for the save as the Menagerie continues building their reputation as a team of average guys sticking up for their fallen colleagues. (90/82)

 

 

INJURIES:

 

 

John Greed - Strained Left Bicep (minor)

 

 

BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY LINEUP:

 

 

Robbie Retro, Kurt Laramee, Knuckles, Shady K, Jack Bruce, Steve Frehley, Marc DuBois, Frederique Antonio Garcia, Squeeky McClean, Angry Gilmore, Chris Morrisette, Christian Faith (12 men in, 18 to go)

 

 

Final Grade - 82/B (Increased Popularity)

Supreme TV Rating - 6.21

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OOC - We'll wrap up the backstage/office segments for the first quarter (the latest Bruce-Candido confrontation may be the last till April) and get this baby done fast and furious. Thanks again to Blake Trask for the suggestion - the show recaps do indeed look much better with your suggested format, though there's nothing I can do about the omissions and dodgy booking decisions except charge 'em to experience. We'll soon be getting to the Quarterly Report, where we recap everything that's transpired from January to March 2010.

 

 

SWF UPRISING - Thursday, March 25, 2010

Shakeshaft Auditorium (Great Lakes)

 

BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY QUALIFIERS:

 

Jungle Lord vs Randall Hopkirk (Dark)

Roger Cage vs Man Mountain Cahill (Dark)

American Machine (2nd chance) and Captain Atomic vs Paul Huntingdon and Griffith

Ford Gumble vs Runaway Train

Kirk Jameson vs Everest

The Biggz Boyz vs The Samoan Wildboyz (Kid Toma 2nd chance)

The New High Concept! (Donnie J 2nd chance) vs The Pain Alliance (Scott 2nd chance)

Zimmy Bumfhole vs Gregory Black

Randy Bumfhole vs Remo

Brandon James vs Marat Khoklov

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OOC - I spoke too soon. After this recap, we'll be having a key contract renewal and more Big Smack Scott. Then I post the Quarterly Report, which may take a while to complete...

 

SWF UPRISING - Thursday, March 25, 2010

Shakeshaft Auditorium (Great Lakes)

 

 

DARK MATCHES:

 

Lord d. Hopkirk in 6:24 via DQ, int. Cahill vs Lord (51) - also incl. Emily int. vs Lord

Cahill d. Cage in 5:17 via Mountain Topper (48)

 

 

UPRISING:

 

 

ANGLE - BJ O'Neill hypes the yet-unnamed Atomic/Machine tag team in their qualifying match for the Battle for Supremacy vs Paul Huntingdon and Griffith. This is American Machine's second and last chance to qualify. (48)

 

Atomic and Machine d. Huntingdon and Griffith in 6:29 via Old Glory on Griffith (55)

 

ANGLE - SWF newcomer Ford Gumble is confident about his chances versus Runaway Train. Ford, do you know whom you're up against? (48)

 

Train d. Gumble in 3:38 via Train Wreck (59)

 

ANGLE - Post-match celebration. Train roars, Chase parades around the ring following the victory but doesn't do anything suggestive for the meantime. (76)

 

Everest d. Jameson in 4:54 via Mountain Mover (41)

 

ANGLE - Everest continues pounding on Jameson even after picking up the win and heading to Battle for Supremacy. (43)

 

ANGLE - To lighten things up, Brandon James, Chris Morrisette and Joe Sexy, collectively known as the Menagerie, parody a few scenes from The Hangover. (77)

 

ANGLE - But on a more serious note, Mr. Tyler wants to punish James for his recent cavalry saves, some carried out on his own, some with one or both fellow Menagerie members helping out. As the stable leader, James' "punishment" from Tyler is a qualifying match...versus Marat Khoklov. (64)

 

ANGLE - Jessie continues to see a little more TV time after being pretty much ignored prior to Uprising's premiere. She says the Biggz Boyz are anything but finished, and they'll easily tame the Samoan Wildboyz en route to the Battle for Supremacy at The World is Watching. This is Toma's second chance to qualify, so a loss to the Biggz' means he'll be with the rest of the world...watching 30 other men battle it out for a World Heavyweight title shot. (70)

 

Samoan Wildboyz d. Biggz Boyz in 7:14 via Long Range Headbutt on Brett (58)

 

ANGLE - It's also Big Smack Scott's second and final chance to qualify, and it can be barely deciphered that he's telling the fans at home that it isn't a Battle for Supremacy without the Ego Tripper around. (60)

 

Pain Alliance d. New High Concept! in 3:38 via Ego Trip on Prudence (57) - also incl. int. Black vs Prudence

 

ANGLE - Greg Black, who had been helping out on commentary before attacking James Prudence, is heatedly arguing with Hannah, who is telling Black to stop being so bitter. The tirade from Black, which is censored for the viewers at home, leaves Hannah crying as she leads the New High Concept! backstage after the loss. Donnie J., who lost to Kurt Laramee in his first attempt to qualify for the Battle for Supremacy, has used up both chances and is officially out of contention. (53)

 

ANGLE - Eric Eisen talks about how Marat Khoklov will dominate that one-time North American champion Brandon James, and force him to spend the rest of his career on Uprising, cutting cheesy promos and trying hard to please everyone by saving their asses even if they don't need saving. He then steps in to join on commentary for the Black vs Zimmy qualifier. (84)

 

Black d. Z. Bumfhole in 6:18 via surprise roll-up, int. Remo vs Z. Bumfhole (65)

 

Remo d. R. Bumfhole in 7:40 via pinfall, dist. DuBois vs R. Bumfhole (81)

 

ANGLE - Black hits the ring as he and Remo celebrate their successful qualifying bids. (69)

 

Khoklov d. James in 6:20 via Moscow Lariat, dist. E. Eisen vs James (65) - also incl. int. Train vs James

 

ANGLE - Khoklov beats down on James, and is soon joined by Double E and Randall Hopkirk for the three-on-one. Chris Morrisette and Joe Sexy run in for the save as the closing credits flash on the screen. (72)

 

 

BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY LINEUP:

 

 

Robbie Retro, Kurt Laramee, Knuckles, Shady K, Jack Bruce, Steve Frehley, Marc DuBois, Frederique Antonio Garcia, Squeeky McClean, Angry Gilmore, Chris Morrisette, Christian Faith, Jungle Lord, Man Mountain Cahill, American Machine, Captain Atomic, Runaway Train, Everest, Akima Brave, Kid Toma, Big Smack Scott, Gregory Black, Remo, Marat Khoklov (24 men in, 6 to go)

 

 

Final Grade - 62/C

Uprising Rating - 0.47

[TheEffect]

Sorry my laptop died, i am currently on my iPod.

Still loving it

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FRIDAY, MARCH 26, 2010

 

4:00 P.M.

 

Sometimes, the work never stops. From the frying pan of Shakeshaft Auditorium to the fire of Richard Eisen's office. Wake up hung over from the post-show booze session with Billy, Randall, Ronnie and the other heavy drinkers of the present SWF roster, catch flight back to New York, have a two-hour nap in my apartment and head back to the office to take care of contract signings.

 

Despite being in full-on zombie mode, I re-signed Squeeky McClean for the outrageous salary of $30,000 a month. Why did I do it? Because Squeeky's got some fairly good momentum as one half of the Odd Couple. Still haven't decided whom I want wearing the belt after The World is Watching - the Bumfholes or the Odd Couple - because, of course, Randy no-showed at Awesome Impact and did so without letting me, or even Zimmy know about it. Zimmy was really furious at Randy for walking out on a PPV just like that. But everything's okay now and I know that either Bumfhole wouldn't do that on a normal day.

 

Why did Randy no-show? Because he had a date with a hot model he met earlier that day. We wrote it off as a kayfabe injury and that was that.

 

Okay, back to Squeeky. I re-signed him because even at the age of 35, he's still improving. He can still deliver great matches against the bigger names. That said, I don't know if I want him working as a main eventer, but if the roster gets large enough for a brand split, I'll consider it.

 

Thing is, old man Eisen thought I was nuts for re-signing Squeeky for an obscene amount of money.

 

"Are you f---ing out of your rocker, Brian? Squeeky McClean is old, he's not as big as..."

 

"Everest." Eisen would never let go of his love of huge, unathletic monsters with little in-ring skill. So I finished his sentence by dropping a name that truly meant a lot to him.

 

"Not as big as Everest or Train or Khoklov. You should've let him walk."

 

"Rick, who's Freddy going to team with if we let Squeeky say 'yes' to Cornell or Strong or whoever? And Squeeky can last a good half-hour out there versus Christian, Rich or Jack. Not that I'd want to book a half-hour match, but Squeeky's still got something in him. Nobody does blatant cheating like he does, all with a hypocritical smile on his face."

 

"Well, tell me then, Albert Einstein, how we're going to sign you-know-who if you're throwing away thirty grand a month on John McClean?"

 

Okay, time to get fresh with the ruthless owner and CEO of the SWF. "We can afford him. And in case you're wondering, I am determined to let Everest jump ship the first chance he could. He drinks before shows, skips baths, can't cut promos, can't even convincingly beat down on Kirk Jameson after that Battle for Supremacy qualifier..."

 

Uh-oh. I think I just pissed off the boss. "If you think you can undermine my authority that way, Brian..."

 

Just as Mr. Eisen was about to unleash his wrath on me, someone opened the door. Hmmm. It's the friendly neighborhood clinic representative, with the results of the latest random tests.

 

One of the tests was positive. I guess you know who he is.

 

 

5:30 P.M.

 

The boss was in no mood to be messed with that afternoon. An hour and a half ago, he was talked back at by his head booker over the re-signing of upper midcarder John "Squeeky" McClean. Richard Eisen felt Squeeky's $30,000 demand was outrageous and not befitting of a man his age, push and size. Brian Candido felt it was a worthy investment, given Squeeky's success in the tag division and in-ring skill. Things could have gotten really ugly if not for a young man named Jason who worked at the medical clinic that did drug tests for the SWF. That's because he opened Mr. Eisen's door without knocking (on account of his literal "open door policy") to deliver the most recent random drug test results.

 

For the second time in March, Scott Sinclair, a.k.a. Big Smack Scott, tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. PEDs. Steroids. Juice. Gym candy. First time around, Candido told Sinclair that he would be fined 25 percent of his monthly pay. Second time around, it was Mr. Eisen himself delivering the bad news.

 

"So what it is you want me here for?", asked Scott. "All due respect, Mr. E., I've got an appointment with a tattoo artist. Gonna meet up with Kurt after that so we can get bombed and meet some pretty ladies while at it. And I have to sleep early so I can make it to tomorrow's house show."

 

"Fascinating, fascinating. But I actually have some good news for you. You don't need to worry about the house show."

 

"Why's that, Mr. E.?"

 

"I'm giving you a one-month vacation. Sounds like good news indeed, huh? You can get all the tattoos, meet all the women and drink as much beer as you want, Scott, because for the next thirty days, you're a free man."

 

Scott wasn't buying any of the positive scripting Eisen was throwing at him. "Get to the point, Tricky D-ck."

 

"It's MISTER Eisen. And I always hated that nickname, SCOTTY. First-name basis doesn't apply to you because you don't deserve it. Scott Sinclair, effective immediately, you are suspended thirty days without pay for your second violation of the SWF's Wellness Program."

 

"WHAT?!?!?"

 

"Hasn't that 25 percent fine taught you anything? You're already big enough as it is!", Eisen said in a patronizing tone. "You don't need that s---!"

 

"So you let Jim Force get away with it back in the '90s but not me. What the hell is wrong with trying to look as good as you can in the ring?"

 

"It's illegal. End of story."

 

"And why'd you test me so quickly after the first one?"

 

"The first was ordered by management. The second was random. Enjoy the rest of the day, Scott."

 

"What happens if I f--- up again?"

 

"Then you're fired. Goodbye, Scott. Don't you have a sick relative to visit, a tryout with the New York Knicks, a guest spot as yourself on Family Guy, a beer-drinking contest and a swimsuit contest to judge? You're a busy man indeed, Scott Sinclair. Go attend to those tasks. You've got thirty days to juggle all those." Of course, none of those "excuses" Eisen was pertaining to were true. But it was the only way he knew how to deal with a man who had made a career out of making excuses for his actions - Big Smack Scott.

 

With Mr. Eisen through with his sarcastic dressing down of Big Smack Scott, the "Ego Tripper" stormed out of the office, presumably to vent out some actual 'roid rage.

[3rdStringPG]

OOC - Still something wrong with my modem, I believe. I would still like to add images to the Quarterly Report, but may only be able to do so if my connection didn't keep getting interrupted every few minutes or so. (Posting on forums is no problem, though!) Anyway, let's start out with the basics for the Quarterly Report - the standard roster overview.

 

 

 

The Quarterly Report

January to March, 2010

 

ROSTER OVERVIEW

 

MAIN EVENTERS:

 

Angry Gilmore (8-1-4)

Chris Morrisette (8-0-4)

Christian Faith © (10-1-3)

Eric Eisen (4-0-3)

Jack Bruce (9-0-4)

Marat Khoklov (6-0-3)

Remo (8-0-4)

Rich Money © (7-1-2)

Steve Frehley (6-2-2)

Vengeance (7-2-2)

 

 

UPPER MIDCARDERS:

 

Brandon James (5-1-5)

Frederique Antonio Garcia © (6-0-4)

Gregory Black (6-0-6)

Jack Giedroyc (6-0-7)

Joe Sexy (4-0-5)

Marc DuBois (7-0-4)

Randy Bumfhole © (10-0-3)

Runaway Train (5-0-6)

Squeeky McClean © (9-0-3)

Zimmy Bumfhole (5-0-6)

 

 

MIDCARDERS:

 

American Machine (6-0-6)

Bart Biggz (3-0-5)

Big Smack Scott (2-0-8)

Billy Jack Shearer (6-0-3)

Brett Biggz (3-0-5)

Captain Atomic (4-0-6)

Everest (4-0-3)

James Prudence (3-0-3)

Jungle Lord (3-0-5)

Kurt Laramee (5-0-5)

Man Mountain Cahill (5-0-3)

Paul Huntingdon (4-0-5)

Randall Hopkirk (2-0-4)

Robbie Retro (5-0-4)

Valiant (4-0-8)

 

LOWER MIDCARDERS:

 

Akima Brave (4-0-6)

Donnie J (2-0-4)

Ford Gumble (1-0-1)

Griffith (0-0-4)

John Greed (0-0-5)

Kid Toma (3-0-5)

Knuckles (1-0-7)

Shady K (1-0-6)

 

OPENERS:

 

Billy Russell (0-0-5)

Kirk Jameson (0-0-2)

Part Two (Matt Gauge) (0-0-4)

Roger Cage (0-0-1)

 

ENHANCEMENT TALENTS:

 

Jamie Atherton (0-0-0)

Part One (Greg Gauge (0-0-4)

 

 

MANAGERS:

 

 

BJ O'Neill (American Machine)

Carl Batch (Knuckles, Shady K)

Dawn the Cheerleader (Jack Giedroyc)

Emma Chase (Runaway Train)

Hannah (Valiant, Prudence, Donnie J)

Queen Emily (Cahill, Hopkirk and Shearer)

 

 

ANNOUNCERS/COLOR COMMENTATORS:

 

SWF Supreme TV - Peter Michaels, Duane Fry, Jerry Eisen

SWF Uprising - Duane Fry, Queen Emily

PPV Events - Peter Michaels, Ana Garcia, Jerry Eisen

 

 

REFEREES:

 

 

Darren Smith

Ric Young

Ryan Holland

Shane Stones

 

 

ROAD AGENTS:

 

 

Chief Two Eagles

Marcus McKing

Pat Deacon

 

 

TITLE HOLDERS:

 

 

World Heavyweight - Rich Money (won at Awesome Impact 2010, 3/11/10)

North American - Christian Faith (won at Nothing to Lose, 2/11/10)

Tag Team - The Odd Couple (F. Garcia, S. McClean) (won at When Hell Freezes Over, 1/14/10)

Shooting Star - Randy Bumfhole (won at Nothing to Lose, 2/11/10)

 

 

ARRIVALS - Eric Tyler (Commissioner), Greg Gauge, Matt Gauge, Billy Jack Shearer, Man Mountain Cahill, Randall Hopkirk, Queen Emily, Larry Wood (RIPW trainer), Carl Batch, Steven Parker (RIPW), Ryan Holland (Ref.), Billy Russell, Gino Montero (RIPW), Jay Chord (RIPW), Kirk Jameson, Mainstream Hernandez (RIPW), Swoop McCarthy (RIPW), James Prudence, Donnie J, (Jack) Griffith, Remmy Skye (RIPW), Hollywood Brett Starr (RIPW), Casey Valentine (RIPW), Sara Silver (RIPW/color comm.), Ash Campbell (RIPW), Ford Gumble, Jamie Atherton, Roger Cage

DEPARTURES - None.

CALLED UP FROM RIPW - Greg Gauge, Matt Gauge, Kirk Jameson

SENT DOWN TO RIPW - Enforcer Roberts (as trainer)

INJURIES - None.

SUSPENSIONS - Big Smack Scott (28 days, 2nd violation of Wellness Program)

[3rdStringPG]

TEAMS:

(NOTE - Does not include one-off or ad hoc partnerships)

 

 

American Machine and Captain Atomic

Manager - BJ O'Neill (American Machine only)

Record - 2-0-0

Formed - N/A

 

 

Word is that both men may be teaming up more often in the near future in an attempt to jumpstart their SWF careers. So far, their only action together was a dark match win over the Samoan Wildboyz in January and a successful qualifying shot for the Battle for Supremacy.

 

 

Death Row (59) - Knuckles and Shady K

Manager - Carl Batch

Record - 1-0-6

Formed - 2006

 

 

Knuckles and Shady K enter the ring rapping to a generic guitar riff quite similar to Insane Clown Posse's "Piggy Pie" and proceed to put their opponents over. Losing has become customary for the two Bronx-area thugs, and they can't seem to get a good break, even with manager Carl Batch on their side. Death Row did finally win a match towards the end of March, as they defeated the masked jobber duo Parts Unknown.

 

 

Eric Eisen's Painful Procedure (68) - Billy Jack Shearer and Randall Hopkirk

Manager - Queen Emily

Record - 1-0-1

Formed Feb. 2010

 

 

Though part of something bigger in the stable of the same name, Shearer and Hopkirk sometimes reprise their TCW partnership and wrestle as a tag team. So far it's too early to say whether they may one day contend for the tag title, but it doesn't seem too likely as of now.

 

 

The Amazing Bumfholes (100) - Randy and Zimmy Bumfhole

Record - 4-0-1

Formed 2006

 

 

Could Randy and Zimmy be on their way to reclaiming the Tag Team title? They've won four straight this year after losing a three-way match to determine the number one contender against then-champs Valiant and Giedroyc. They were supposed to go over the Odd Couple and win the title at Awesome Impact 2010, but with Randy a no-show, that didn't quite happen. The Bumfholes did get their chance at the Odd Couple a week later at Supreme TV, but failed to win the title as they had won via DQ. Chances are they'll have yet another shot at the champs sometime next month.

 

 

The Biggz Boyz (100) - Bart and Brett Biggz

Manager - Jessie

Record - 2-0-4

Formed 1999

 

 

After 11 years in the SWF, the Biggz Boyz have become an afterthought, suffering their first loss to the Samoan Wildboyz in several encounters at a recent Uprising. With no real feuds nor major interest from the fans, a change may be due for these grizzled veterans. Whether that would be dumping Jessie as manager or turning heel or changing their bland gimmick, we don't know yet. We dont' even know whether the creative team will have that in store someday.

 

 

The F-Word (2) - Christian Faith and Steve Frehley

Record - 1-1-0

Formed Jan. 2010

 

 

Christian Faith and Steve Frehley's occasional tag team partnership. With both men getting seriously pushed as singles wrestlers, we shouldn't expect too many F-Word matches - that is, unless Faith's ongoing feud with Vengeance involves a tag match, which it seldom does.

 

 

The New High Concept! (66) - Donnie J and James Prudence

Manager - Hannah

Record - 2-0-2

Formed Feb. 2010

 

 

No, they're not anywhere near the original Elmo Benson/Groucho Bling partnership, at least not yet. In two months with the SWF, the New High Concept! has had mixed success as Uprising mainstays, and are currently involved in a mini-feud with bitter veteran Gregory Black, whom we used to know as Groucho Bling back when the original High Concept was still a perennial tag team contender in the SWF.

 

 

The Odd Couple © (7) - Frederique Antonio Garcia and Squeeky McClean

Record - 6-0-1

Formed Jan. 2010

Title Holders since Jan. 2010

 

They may not like the same type of music, they may have different ideas about the nightlife and those are just two of the many differences between Freddy Garcia and Squeeky McClean. But they do share one thing in common - the willingness to win by any means necessary, especially if it involves some form of cheating. The Odd Couple have lost only once since teaming up in January, and that was a DQ loss to the Amazing Bumfholes where they retained the title. The Bumfholes-Odd Couple feud is still very much on, and both teams may face each other again at The World is Watching for a third and decisive encounter, once again with the Tag Team title at stake.

 

 

The Pain Alliance (63) - Big Smack Scott and Kurt Laramee

Record - 2-0-3

Formed 2007

 

 

Everyone's most hated tag team in and out of the ring. The offstage misadventures of Big Smack Scott and Kurt Laramee could one day challenge those documented by Motley Crue in their best-selling autobiography The Dirt. In the ring, these two sloppy workers haven't had much of a use this year, except if it's to get fans shouting "BIG SMACK SUCKS!" whenever the team's leader is potato-ing his opponents or cutting promos that deserve to be subtitled.

 

 

The Parts Unknown (4) - Part One and Part Two

Record - 0-0-4

Formed March 2010

 

Not much is known about these mysterious masked men except that they're out there to make everyone else look good. Seriously, Part One and Part Two are Greg and Matt Gauge, sons of the legendary Sam Keith, and they're wearing those masks as part of their on-the-job training. In the meantime, expect more losses from the twins as the Parts Unknown - who knows, they just might be ready for bigger things once those masks are ready to go off.

 

 

The Samoan Wildboyz (64) - Akima Brave and Kid Toma

Record - 3-0-3

Formed 2006

 

After starting 2010 with three straight losses, the Wildboyz have been on a roll, and are currently on a three-match winning streak. Better yet, Kid Toma has stayed healthy all year long. There's a chance they may be in contention really soon for the Tag Team belts.

 

 

Valiant and Giedroyc (6) - Valiant and Jack Giedroyc

Managers - Hannah and Dawn the Cheerleader

Record - 3-0-3

Formed 2009

 

The former champions are due for another shot at the Odd Couple's belts, having won a number one contender three-way match at Awesome Impact 2010. But when will that chance come along? It will either be them or the Amazing Bumfholes up against the Odd Couple at The World is Watching - both teams are chomping at the bit for a chance against Freddy and Squeeky. In the ring, Valiant and Giedroyc's performance is as no-nonsense as their basic team name; solid, unspectacular but for the most part, very effective.

[3rdStringPG]

STABLES:

 

 

Eric Eisen's Painful Procedure (64)

Members - Eric Eisen, Man Mountain Cahill, Randall Hopkirk, Billy Jack Shearer, Marat Khoklov

Manager - Queen Emily (Cahill, Hopkirk and Shearer only)

Formed Feb. 2010

 

They are, as follows - Eric Eisen on vocals/Supremacy, Ronnie "Man Mountain" Cahill on guitars/Pete Townshend-style guitar smashing, Randall Hopkirk on bass/distraction and Billy Jack Shearer on drums/drumstick cheap shots. Marat Khoklov is the roadie/security enforcer, while Queen Emily manages Cahill, Hopkirk and Shearer. Eisen and Khoklov are certified main eventers despite their lack of wrestling skills, but they can get under the crowd's skin. Khoklov doesn't care whom he attacks - he just gets a rush out of knocking people down. The rest, however, are mostly utilized to do Eric Eisen's dirty work, which usually involves beating down on Jack Bruce and/or Rich Money, and to fight midcard matches with mixed results.

 

 

The Menagerie (74)

Members - Brandon James, Chris Morrisette, Joe Sexy

Formed Feb. 2010

 

 

These three have one thing in common - they've all been toyed around by Ms. Emma Chase. Brandon James had formed the stable after realizing teaming with Chase was more harm than help to his career. Chris Morrisette, the ex-Lobster Warrior, had faced James for the North American title as Lobby, and had lost mainly due to Chase's trademark pseudo-stripteasing. Though not directly mentioned on air, some smarks believe it wasn't just Runaway Train's attacks and taunts that turned Lobby into Chris. Rather, Chase's pseudo-stripteases may have played a part in Lobby kayfabe "losing his childlike innocence." Joe Sexy was once embroiled in a hot feud with James, but as it turned out, he too was being manipulated by the seductress cum sports agent. The three scorned men teamed up as a union of two average Joes and one sexy Joe, with another common thread - a link to the animal kingdom. A Big Cat, a former Lobster and a Bird Dog, that's the Menagerie as we know them.

 

Currently, Brandon James seems to have attracted the attention of Vengeance, who's had it with his frequent run-ins to save workers from beatdowns. Commissioner Eric Tyler isn't too pleased either with James' desire to save the day and prevent further injury from happening. Lobby and Chase's new client Runaway Train are still feuding it out, while Joe Sexy helps out whenever and wherever he could.

 

 

The Slaves of Yesterday (78)

Members - Vengeance, Gregory Black, Marc DuBois, Remo

Formed Feb. 2010

 

In January, Vengeance spoke of probably needing to "get by with a little help from his friends" at some point, but not requiring any help as of the moment. Turns out it would be just a few weeks before he would. He took advantage of a vulnerable, increasingly sullen and bitter Gregory Black and "hazed" him into becoming the stable's first recruit by knocking him out with a Skull Krusher as he was arguing with erstwhile manager Hannah. Next, he surprised everyone by announcing Remo was on his side, a shocking yet sensible move considering Remo hadn't been in any really hot feuds since the split with Rich Money in 2009. Then, Marc DuBois joined the fold when he helped Gregory Black in beating down Randy Bumfhole after the latter's successful Shooting Star defense against Black; Vengeance liked his moxie, so the Can't Miss Prospect was in, making the Slaves of Yesterday a foursome.

 

Why the Slaves of Yesterday? Aside from being a title of an Arch Enemy song (Vengeance enters to "We Will Rise"), it's because the first two recruits were trying to distance themselves from their past, thus making them "slaves of yesterday" upon joining. Black was tired of fans expecting him to be fun and friendly like he was as Groucho Bling. Remo hated to be associated with being Money's ex-teammate on The Almighty Dollar. DuBois had no past to escape, but his growing penchant for assaulting fallen opponents with the Canadian flag was something perversely entertaining for the Unhinged One himself.

 

Together their common goal is to antagonize Vengeance's arch enemy (no pun intended) Christian Faith, although the individual members have their own side feuds. Black has a beef with The New High Concept! and their manager Hannah, DuBois' real-life hatred for Randy Bumfhole has led to an onscreen feud between the two that may culminate in another shot at the Shooting Star belt for DuBois, and Remo doesn't hate Rich Money any less than before.

[3rdStringPG]

OOC - For these month-by-month recaps, we'll be looking at things as they were at the end of the month, not as they were at the end of the quarter. Hopefully the Quarterly Report would be done tomorrow so we can move on to the diary storyline/Supreme TV and Uprising recaps.

 

 

MONTH-BY-MONTH RECAP:

 

 

JANUARY 2010

 

 

THE NEW KID FROM NOWHERE

 

SWF owner/CEO Richard Eisen shocked the world when he named Manila-born and raised "SWF superfan" Brian Candido, 31, as head booker, replacing Peter Michaels at his post. Though his work was deemed as inconsistent by many, Michaels was, on his best days, a genius booker, having booked several A/A* shows in 2009 and written the now-classic "Man Under Pressure" storyline for Jack Bruce that year. Though Candido's work this month can be called solid and consistent, he has yet to write an A/A* show, and has yet to write something as compelling as "Man Under Pressure."

 

 

THE SUPREMACIST REMAINS SUPREME, PAINFUL PROCEDURE DEBUTS

 

At When Hell Freezes Over, Eric Eisen retained his World Heavyweight title through some very questionable means. With Jack Bruce dominating the match, the Cream of the Crop was bashed in the head with an acoustic guitar belonging to one Ronald V. Cahill - Ronnie V. Pain in the TCW, Man Mountain as one of several new SWF hires this quarter. Cahill's guitar shot and the referee distraction from fellow musicians/grapplers Randall Hopkirk and Billy Jack Shearer helped Double E keep the strap, although as of the end of January, it hasn't been acknowledged whether Eric and Painful Procedure - Bruce's former band - are really in cahoots.

 

 

WHAT ONE MAN WOULD DO FOR A TITLE SHOT...

 

He would - a) compete with one of the SWF's largest, most talented men in a table match, b) take on his former best friend in a ladder match at When Hell Freezes Over, c) kiss the Supremacist's butt, d) A and B. For Rich Money, the answer was letter D, as he did as Eric Eisen told him to do in order to get a chance at the Supremacist's World Heavyweight belt. And just when he thought beating Vengeance in a table match was enough, Eric decided to make things a little harder - beat Remo in a ladder match at When Hell Freezes Over, and do so convincingly. Money was able to do that as well. At Nothing to Lose, Money will have a chance to win that title, although it may not be that easy. One, Eric may have more than just Marat Khoklov on his side. Two, he and Jack Bruce still don't like nor trust each other. Sure, they've worked together against mutual foes, but neither Money nor Bruce would piss on the other if he was on fire.

 

 

SEX (APPEAL), BIG MONEY AND TWO PUPPIES

 

Prior to late 2009, Emma Chase was the perfect combination of beauty, brains and evil, though she hadn't quite resorted yet to using her physical charms to distract opponents. That only came when Joe Sexy began stalking her and trying to win her over to work as his manager, presumably with benefits. Seeing how much the Don Juan of the Squared Circle enjoyed watching Chase gyrate and give him a look at her "puppies" made her want to do it over and over again, as it has proven so far to be very effective in throwing opponents off their game. And at When Hell Freezes Over, the striptease (or something as close to it as C.A.N.N. would allow) was a nice setup for a briefcase shot that gave Joe Sexy the win via DQ over Chase's client Brandon James. Following another successful defense against Lobster Warrior on Supreme TV, Big Money is still North American champ as of the end of January.

 

 

WHEN FREDDY MET SQUEEKY

 

Individually, Frederique Antonio Garcia and Squeeky McClean were two of the dirtiest cheaters in the SWF. Together, they plan to make a career out of using every dirty trick in the book to go over their foes. That was all the similarity the Odd Couple needed to overcome their differing lifestyles and attitudes and agree to join forces, and it didn't take them long to win the Tag Team title. After winning a three-way tag match for number one contender, the Odd Couple won the belts at When Hell Freezes Over, marking the end of a very short-lived reign for Valiant and Giedroyc.

 

 

HIS FAITH, STILL UNSHAKEN...

 

Late in 2009, Christian Faith was feuding with Marat Khoklov. But there's nothing like a Faith vs Vengeance feud, and that's how 2010 started for the SWF's Living Legend. As Khoklov spent most of January arbitrarily knocking workers around like bowling pins, Faith and Vengeance resumed their feud where it left off, and faced each other at a cage escape match that was arguably the highlight of When Hell Freezes Over. Vengeance won that one to even up his cage match record with Faith to 1-1, but the war is far from over. Chances are Vengeance may be needing some assistance very soon, as good friends Faith and Steve Frehley have been quite effective at keeping the Unhinged One at bay.

 

 

A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN

 

For most of 2009, the SWF relied on de facto commissioners - Richard Eisen, Jerry Eisen, Eric Eisen, even Peter Michaels back when he was still a full-time booker. But in the middle of January, CGC/DaVE legend Eric Tyler, known better as The Traditionalist, was hired as commissioner by the SWF, with a promise to uphold honesty, integrity and naturally, tradition. He wasn't seen much on screen in January, but it will be interesting to see how he plans to uphold these tenets. Will he be good as his word, or will he let the natural heel in him take over at some point?

[3rdStringPG]

FEBRUARY 2010

 

 

"THAT'S RIGHT, ERIC EISEN'S PAINFUL PROCEDURE."

 

Can the Supremacist carry a tune? Those who've heard Eric Eisen in real life say he can't, but that hasn't stopped him from declaring himself Painful Procedure's new vocalist and leading his new on-screen bandmates on to various run-ins. He thinks he'll be a better band leader anyway, not like Jack Bruce, whom Painful Procedure claims ran the band like a dictatorship. This storyline proved controversial as it was apparently too much like art imitating life - rumor has it Bruce had actually punched head booker Brian Candido in the face for running the storyline without his consent.

 

With a new "band" and such, what about Marat Khoklov? After Khoklov beat down on Eric when the latter failed to help him out in his Texas Titan Death Match versus Vengeance, many thought the Russian behemoth's services would no longer be needed. But the two men worked out their differences soon enough, and on the following Supreme TV, the Supremacist announced that Khoklov was the new roadie/bodyguard for Eric Eisen's Painful Procedure.

 

 

NO ALLIES, NO TITLE, NO PROBLEM?

 

Since last year, Rich Money has made it clear that he doesn't need any allies to get by in his quest for the World Heavyweight title. Though he certainly could've used a few at Nothing to Lose, where Eric Eisen retained the title with a little help from Billy Jack Shearer...and Vic Firth. (OOC - Popular brand of drumsticks.) Still, the quest continues for the Lone Wolf, who had refused a handshake from Bruce following the former's hard-earned win on the February 2 Supreme TV. And he had even duked it out with Mr. Showtime/the Cream of the Crop a few weeks after that, when Bruce resented Money's helping him out during a "guitar on a pole" match versus Man Mountain Cahill. Chances are we'll be seeing Money vs Eisen II at Awesome Impact 2010, with the title on the line. Bruce, the one-time Man Under Pressure, will have to wait his turn, because Double E isn't one to defend his title against anyone at any time.

 

 

GROUCHO BLING WHO?

 

There used to be a wrestler named Groucho Bling, a fun-loving young man with neon green tights AND hair and an orange headband. But when High Concept disbanded in 2009, Bling was replaced by his "real" self, Gregory Black, a more serious individual who focused on making his matches as intense and dynamic as possible. Over time, Black became more and more serious, more and more intense, and each loss frustrated him more than the last. Finally, he had had it. Giving Hannah one chance - just one chance - to act as his manager, she botched an interference which led to the young valet from Detroit getting fired after that one match versus Angry Gilmore. Black was then jumped from behind by the unpredictable Mr. Khoklov before the original unpredictable, unhinged Vengeance ostensibly saved Black from Khoklov...only to knock him out cold with a Skull Krusher.

 

The next week on Supreme TV, fans were surprised to see Vengeance interfering on Black's behalf in a match against Randy Bumfhole. True, Black's bitterness had seeped to the surface the week before, but were he and Vengeance really on the same team? Turns out they were, and Vengeance's Skull Krusher on Black was merely a form of hazing. Which leads us to...

 

 

VENGEANCE GETS BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM HIS FRIENDS

 

What do you see when you turn off the lights? I can tell you, and I know it's Vengeance, Gregory Black and Remo declaring war on Christian Faith and anyone else who takes his side, especially Steve Frehley. Ever since Vengeance quoted Ringo Starr by way of Lennon and McCartney on the January 12 Supreme TV, many had wondered if the Unhinged One really had plans of adding some reinforcements. After all, Faith and Frehley aren't exactly the smallest guys in the SWF. It took him almost a month, but Vengeance did get a little help from his (new) friends - first Black, and soon thereafter the Alpha Dog, Remo Richardson. Together, they are the Slaves of Yesterday, and Vengeance is there to help Black and Remo "escape their past...while destroying the present." And that would be, in no particular order, Christian Faith, Steve Frehley, The New High Concept!, Hannah, Rich Money and anyone else who dares cross their path.

 

 

DROWNING THE LOBSTER WARRIOR

 

Another man trying to escape his past, or should we say, make his present his past, was Lobster Warrior. The happy-go-lucky Lobby had long been a favorite of younger fans, especially when he'd hand one of them a miniature pincer before or after a match. If he'd win, he'd throw some water on himself, do a little dance and celebrate with the littl'uns and their parents. And Lobby wouldn't be Lobby if he didn't take time to address the "little Lobbys" and relate everything he talked about to aquatic life. But it would take a little sampling of above-water goodness from Emma Chase...and a lot of bullying and taunting from Runaway Train to turn the child-friendly Lobby into a surly man in his mid-30s dressed in a lobster suit and wearing a stupid pair of pincers. After Train cost Lobby a chance to fight for the North American belt in the Nothing to Lose four-way ladder match, that was the last straw as Lobby thrashed the locker room and, for the first time in his SWF career, used profanities that C.A.N.N. was quick to censor out.

 

A week later, Lobster Warrior returned on the February 23 Supreme TV as himself, Chris Morrisette, a product of Pittsburgh and a blue-collar Everyman deep inside who became a household name thanks to a soon-to-be-retired lobster suit. In a two-part series, TV audiences found out how Chris became Lobby, and how Chris had Runaway Train to thank for realizing that it was high time to take off the lobster suit and be "human" again, as he teaches the aging big man a few in-ring lessons in humility.

 

 

A BIG CAT, A LOBSTER AND A BIRD DOG

 

Ever since DaVE's Big Cat Brandon became the SWF's Brandon James, he has had Emma Chase as his manager, ready to swing a briefcase at opponents whenever needed. But her recent attempts to do so, combined with some attempts to "stoke the fire down there" of Big Money's opponents, have been met with mixed results. None were as catastrophic as the accidental briefcase shot that helped Christian Faith defeat James at Nothing to Lose and cause the North American title to switch hands for the first time since October 2009. That was enough to convince James that he'd be better off without Ms. Chase, who soon went on the "rebound", so to say, and became Runaway Train's new manager.

 

Now cheered as a face for the first time in his SWF career, James immediately started making amends, burying the hatchet with Joe Sexy and winning the trust of Chris Morrisette when they both beat down on the middle-aged bully on the February 23 Supreme TV. Together they formed the Menagerie, a name chosen for their past (and in Joe Sexy's case, present) connections to the animal kingdom. By the looks of things so far, this team of two average Joes and one sexy Joe is out to defend their fellow "good guys" from beatdowns.

 

 

FROM RUSSIA, WITH HATE - THE KHOKLOV KHONUNDRUM

 

Is there anyone who can stop this guy single-handedly? Marat Khoklov's frequent assaults on anyone regardless of disposition (even his own "employer" included) have become a problem as of late, and it is believed that sooner or later, one of his previous victims would be man enough to challenge him to a no-DQ match at Awesome Impact 2010.

[TheEffect]

Where be the pictures?!?!?!??!

[3rdStringPG]

Hope to have them up this week. My modem seems to be the reason why I can't upload anything to Photobucket. But since it takes ages for things to get fixed in this part of the world I can't promise anything. But I'll definitely be adding a lot of pics here..

[TheEffect]

Good.......

Cos I was about to draw my own pictures using crayons and coloured paper.

[AceCodey]

I like your Dynasty man, the background detail and the personal stuff is really good

[3rdStringPG]

Thanks codeydbw and TheEffect! Hope to have more images up. My modem, to quote Dickie Roberts, is nucking futs. It's affecting both work and play and I am not happy about it.

 

Here's the last of the monthly recaps...might be inserting a few more key events later. Usual stuff, busy with work and dealing with goofy Internet connection.

 

 

MARCH 2010

 

 

THE RETURN OF UPRISING

 

 

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After an absence of several years, Uprising is back! The SWF B-show returned on air on March 4, 2010, finally giving a chance to showcase some of the promotion's lesser-used and seen workers in matches and promos alike. In the first televised match on the revived Uprising, the Biggz Boyz squashed masked jobbers the Parts Unknown.

 

 

HE'S IN THE MONEY...

 

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It took him a while and he didn't exactly win it honestly (not that his opponent was any less sneaky), but Rich Money finally won the SWF World Heavyweight title at Awesome Impact 2010, defeating Eric Eisen with no help from anybody. This came just two days after he lost a tough 25-minute "barnstormer" versus Jack Bruce at Supreme TV, but we'll get to the Cream of the Crop in a little bit. After winning the championship, Money immediately drew controversy, as he announced the next number one contender fight would be a three-way involving Vengeance, Remo and Christian Faith. Faith immediately cried foul, complaining that it would be like a 2-on-1 and implying that Money could possibly be a benefactor to Vengeance's stable. Both Money and Vengeance denied being on each other's side, but it was too little, too late, as the Unhinged One and the Alpha Dog teamed up against Faith in a match that saw Vengeance become Money's first challenger for the World Heavyweight belt.

 

 

MAN UNDER PRESSURE PART 2?

 

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Jack Bruce can't seem to get a good break these days. At Nothing to Lose, he lost to Remo in a battle for number one contender. And in a match forced on him by Commissioner Tyler, Bruce lost to Vengeance in a dangerous scaffold match at Awesome Impact 2010. As mentioned above, it looks like Rich Money couldn't care less about Vengeance, the Slaves of Yesterday or the ongoing Vengeance-Faith feud. Just like Eric Eisen made Money "work" for his title shot, Money seems to be doing the same to Bruce. You want my belt, go prove yourself first. And it doesn't seem enough that Bruce beat Money and had also turned in dominating performances versus Painful Procedure musicians cum thugs Billy Jack Shearer and Man Mountain Cahill.

 

That ultimate chance may come next month, at the Battle for Supremacy. Bruce is one of 24 men who have qualified so far for the 30-man battle royal, to be held at The World is Watching. Though it hasn't been said explicitly, the Cream of the Crop is indeed looking like a Man Under Pressure all over again.

 

 

THOMAS vs GOLIATH

 

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Since 7'3"-450 Russian Marat Khoklov joined the SWF, there didn't seem to be any logical way to defeat the big guy that didn't involve hoping he'd get disqualified or enlisting the assistance of a second or third party. Indeed, that's how Khoklov lost twice in February - once by DQ when he refused to let go of a chokehold on Tom "Angry" Gilmore, once when Remo and Gregory Black assisted Vengeance at the "Texas Titans Deathmatch" at Nothing to Lose. But Gilmore was determined to take down Khoklov with no hanky-panky involved - no disqualification, no outside interference in his behalf. Could he do it? Suffice to say there were a lot of doubters to this Thomas, including his very own wife Jessie, whom he hadn't been in good terms with since the ill-conceived "separation" storyline of 2009.

 

As it turned out, all it took was a healthy dose of Anger Management from Gilmore for the much smaller Canadian to take down the loose cannon from Russia. Still, the feud rages on between both men. Gilmore and Khoklov might be facing off again at The World is Watching, and you can bet that the Eric Eisen's Painful Procedure roadie/bodyguard will be ready to exact some revenge.

 

 

SUPREME RESPECT FOR THE LIVING LEGEND

 

 

When the Dark Destroyer, Steve Frehley won a four-way ladder match at Nothing to Lose to determine who would go on to challenge Christian Faith for the North American title, he knew he would be up for a tough challenge ahead. Faith, the Living Legend of the SWF, was by far the most decorated man to win the belt, and even his good friend and second had to admit that defeating Faith would be no easy task. Despite losing that North American title match at Awesome Impact, continuing to be tormented by Vengeance and remaining without a strap for nearly three and a half years now, Frehley remains undeterred and is as respectful of Faith as he always has been, as evidenced by both men shaking hands after their match.

 

As for Faith, one rumor going around is that a new belt may be created for him, due to his status as a wrestler versus the prestige of the North American belt, or lack thereof. That's far from his mind at the moment, though, as he now has to deal with a four-man Slaves of Yesterday, which recently expanded to include the Can't Miss Prospect, Marc DuBois. At least he doesn't just have Frehley ready to step in should the Slaves do as they often do and gang up on Faith. Brandon James seems to be gaining momentum as the leader of the Menagerie and lead rescuer in a lot of these Vengeance-instigated (for the most part) beatdowns.

 

 

AN 0-AND-2 COUNT FOR THE SMACKER

 

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Looks like Big Smack Scott's on an especially short leash now. The wildly unpopular Scott, who, fortunately, hasn't injured anyone this year, tested positive twice for performance enhancing drugs in the month of March, first following a management-ordered test and second following a random test. Despite qualifying for the Battle for Supremacy, we won't be seeing Scott on TV at The World is Watching. In fact, we won't be seeing him on TV, period, as this second violation has gotten Scott suspended one month from SWF action. Has he learned his lesson or will he be striking out upon his return?

 

 

THEY'RE COMING...

 

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Rumor has it the SWF will be debuting two certified superstars on or around the time of The World is Watching. Who could these mystery men be?

[TheEffect]

This dynasty is complete

[Coop]

Your doing a fine job here guy. Been reading since post one. Keep up the good work.

[AceCodey]

Indeed, fantastic stuff