Darin Walker Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 I ask for a moment of silence for my dead hard drive, and thus my previous dynasty. But it's time for new beginnings. Thus, we have the WWE. But not the one you're thinking of. No, your brave, attractive and humble scribe is plunging into the C-Verse for the first time in years. And doing it the only way I know how: stupidly. Check this out: Road to Glory challenge, using modified Heidenriech challenge rules. For those unfamiliar, this means a 75 rating in everything non-wrestling related and a big fat nothing in everything else. But wait, there's more. Wrestling With Extreme~! Product: Cult - Key Feature Hardcore and Daredevil - Heavy Risque and Mainstream - Medium Everything else - Low Isn't it great? This is the best product for noisy crowds and absolutely NOTHING for sponsorship. Love it. For the extra little something for this lovely company, we're based in Hawaii. Let's do this. ---------- The inevitable start: locker room incident first show. Referee Xander Summer brought Ashley Grover to wrestler's court for not shaking hands with someone. The fiend. WWE Wins Live from a place by the ocean Austin Smooth vs Penfold Perdition Penfold is a four hundred pound dude, so naturally I gave him a porn star gimmick. It actually went over well with the crowd, which...is a thing that happened. The match was crap, but chaotic crap to help mask the fact that fat boy sucks. I may have to use that tactic myself. Penfold wins. Rating: E- Next it's me time. Get used to that sentence early, folks. I come out to talk about nothing. This debuts my Psycho gimmick. It goes good too. I am awesome. Rating: E+ Jemma Griffiths is out next to be sexy. Every time I type her name I think it's spelled wrong. But hey, sexy. Rating: C! I should have put this in the main event slot. Penfold lumbers out for his match with me, but I beat him up on the way. I was going to roll him in the ring to start the match, but I don't have a forklift in my pocket. Ring the bell, Xander! Rating: F Darin Walker vs Penfold Perdition for the WWE Big Cardboard belt Well, this was crap. I may have failed to mention ealier Jemma is Penfold's manager. She was less crap. But not less crap enough to drag this crap out out of the crapper. I win, of course, because how wrestlers who book themselves roll. Rating: F+ Penfold's not happy, but who cares? Final show rating: E+. We gained popularity. Because you can't exactly lose what you never had, right? ---------------- I wasn't able to book Ashley Grover for some reason. Investigation reveals that she's in rehab for a while. Jesus, Xander, what did you say to her? We're in the hole financially, but that's going to be a thing for a while. The game plan so far is to book as many shows as fast as possible to get to a point we might actually make money. Doubt it'll work, but I'll break all of Hawaii's workers trying. Hey, did you know dirty doctors are a thing now? Well, I'm getting me one of those. Time to shop around for some cheaper labor while I'm waiting for...oh hey, we have an owner now. Bob Casey, jobber to the world. He set some easy goals at least. Don't drop below the bottom of the rankings, don't hire puro dudes or guys over forty. He also mentioned he's changing our product soon. NOOOOOOOOO WHY?!?! While I'm hiring the cheap new talent, he also tells me not to hire MMA types. Like they'd come here anyway. But hey, he's working for free until we're better financially. Hope he has his savings. So let's end week one with show two! ------------------- Penfold is tonight's incident. I hope to God he didn't fart. Phew, he just failed to show up for an agent's meeting. Since we don't have an agent, I just tell him to knock it off. He looks at me funny and leaves, farting on the way out. Jackass. WWE Rulez Live from Jerry's basement. Seriously, that's the venue. I love this game. Samael the Accuser vs Bob Casey Winner faces me in the main event. Samael is not only cheap, he looks pretty badass . Too bad he's jobbing to Jobby McJobberson tonight. Pay them dues boy. Rating: E- To the surprise of none of the 5 people here in the basement, I jump Bobby after the match. They got hyped for it, though. Rating: F+ I spend some time explaining how much Bob sucks and wants to ruin my beautiful violent creation. They LOVE it. Rating: D+ Bob Casey vs Darin Walker for the WWE Cardboard belt Well, it couldn't have matched the hype, but it still went better than it had any right to, with me involved. Casey is a pro, I'll give him that. And like a pro, looked at the lights and gave me the rub. I'm still pissed about his threat to change my product. Rating: E- To celebrate, Jemma comes out and looks sexy. See, I'm learning! Rating: C- Final Show Rating: D-. YEAH BABY Bob's a little banged up after the show, the big baby. It also occurs to me that someone besides me should look strong, so I look better when they job to me. For the good of the business, of course. Join me next time, when I see how much debt I can accrue before getting canned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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