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[C-Verse]The Worst Idea Yet

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I ask for a moment of silence for my dead hard drive, and thus my previous dynasty.


But it's time for new beginnings. Thus, we have the WWE. But not the one you're thinking of. No, your brave, attractive and humble scribe is plunging into the C-Verse for the first time in years. And doing it the only way I know how: stupidly.


Check this out: Road to Glory challenge, using modified Heidenriech challenge rules. For those unfamiliar, this means a 75 rating in everything non-wrestling related and a big fat nothing in everything else.


But wait, there's more.


Wrestling With Extreme~!




Cult - Key Feature

Hardcore and Daredevil - Heavy

Risque and Mainstream - Medium

Everything else - Low


Isn't it great? This is the best product for noisy crowds and absolutely NOTHING for sponsorship. Love it.


For the extra little something for this lovely company, we're based in Hawaii.


Let's do this.




The inevitable start: locker room incident first show. Referee Xander Summer brought Ashley Grover to wrestler's court for not shaking hands with someone. The fiend.


WWE Wins


Live from a place by the ocean


Austin Smooth vs Penfold Perdition


Penfold is a four hundred pound dude, so naturally I gave him a porn star gimmick. It actually went over well with the crowd, which...is a thing that happened. The match was crap, but chaotic crap to help mask the fact that fat boy sucks. I may have to use that tactic myself. Penfold wins. Rating: E-


Next it's me time. Get used to that sentence early, folks. I come out to talk about nothing. This debuts my Psycho gimmick. It goes good too. I am awesome. Rating: E+


Jemma Griffiths is out next to be sexy. Every time I type her name I think it's spelled wrong. But hey, sexy. Rating: C! I should have put this in the main event slot.


Penfold lumbers out for his match with me, but I beat him up on the way. I was going to roll him in the ring to start the match, but I don't have a forklift in my pocket. Ring the bell, Xander! Rating: F


Darin Walker vs Penfold Perdition

for the WWE Big Cardboard belt


Well, this was crap. I may have failed to mention ealier Jemma is Penfold's manager. She was less crap. But not less crap enough to drag this crap out out of the crapper. I win, of course, because how wrestlers who book themselves roll. Rating: F+


Penfold's not happy, but who cares?


Final show rating: E+. We gained popularity. Because you can't exactly lose what you never had, right?




I wasn't able to book Ashley Grover for some reason. Investigation reveals that she's in rehab for a while. Jesus, Xander, what did you say to her?


We're in the hole financially, but that's going to be a thing for a while. The game plan so far is to book as many shows as fast as possible to get to a point we might actually make money. Doubt it'll work, but I'll break all of Hawaii's workers trying.


Hey, did you know dirty doctors are a thing now? Well, I'm getting me one of those.


Time to shop around for some cheaper labor while I'm waiting for...oh hey, we have an owner now. Bob Casey, jobber to the world. He set some easy goals at least. Don't drop below the bottom of the rankings, don't hire puro dudes or guys over forty. He also mentioned he's changing our product soon. NOOOOOOOOO WHY?!?!


While I'm hiring the cheap new talent, he also tells me not to hire MMA types. Like they'd come here anyway. But hey, he's working for free until we're better financially. Hope he has his savings.


So let's end week one with show two!




Penfold is tonight's incident. I hope to God he didn't fart. Phew, he just failed to show up for an agent's meeting. Since we don't have an agent, I just tell him to knock it off. He looks at me funny and leaves, farting on the way out. Jackass.


WWE Rulez


Live from Jerry's basement. Seriously, that's the venue. I love this game.


Samael the Accuser vs Bob Casey


Winner faces me in the main event. Samael is not only cheap, he looks pretty badass . Too bad he's jobbing to Jobby McJobberson tonight. Pay them dues boy. Rating: E-


To the surprise of none of the 5 people here in the basement, I jump Bobby after the match. They got hyped for it, though. Rating: F+


I spend some time explaining how much Bob sucks and wants to ruin my beautiful violent creation. They LOVE it. Rating: D+


Bob Casey vs Darin Walker

for the WWE Cardboard belt


Well, it couldn't have matched the hype, but it still went better than it had any right to, with me involved. Casey is a pro, I'll give him that. And like a pro, looked at the lights and gave me the rub. I'm still pissed about his threat to change my product. Rating: E-


To celebrate, Jemma comes out and looks sexy. See, I'm learning! Rating: C-

Final Show Rating: D-. YEAH BABY


Bob's a little banged up after the show, the big baby. It also occurs to me that someone besides me should look strong, so I look better when they job to me. For the good of the business, of course.


Join me next time, when I see how much debt I can accrue before getting canned.

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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Darin Walker" data-cite="Darin Walker" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I ask for a moment of silence for my dead hard drive, and thus my previous dynasty.<p> </p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Ahhhhhh, no! I blame Vince and his team of hackers. Must have seen you pulling the curtain back on their operation and felt threatened.</p><p> </p><p> At least Jinder picked up a win, at the cost of Jack Swagger of course.</p><p> </p><p> Good luck with this. You've definitely set the difficulty level to impossible.</p><p> </p><p> At least your attendance went from 0 to 5, which by my calculations is an increase of infinity.</p>
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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>This is awesome.But only 5 people attended?Jesus Christ,you better have SNP,L-RING or EX2010 level of investment!</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Nope, just 1k in the bank to start. And it's looooong gone. </p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I had a start like this to my RtG game. A year later, we were up to 35 paying spectators per event... </div></blockquote><p> </p><p> That actually makes me feel better. Mostly because I figured I wouldn't make it six months. I don't imagine we'll make much on the gate, so I'm hoping to rocket to a point where we get decent sponsorship. Good thing I set my product up for the exact opposite of that!</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>At least Jinder picked up a win, at the cost of Jack Swagger of course.<p> </p><p> Good luck with this. You've definitely set the difficulty level to impossible.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Clearly they underestimate the raw drawing power of an alpha Jack Swagger. The Jinder gimmick was neat though. </p><p> </p><p> And yeah, I doubt this will last long before collapsing, but it'll be fun while it lasts. If nothing else I'll see how long I can go before the bank forecloses on me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><p>-----------------------------------</p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> So right on start up, I get ANOTHER owner goal. This time that we must have as much popularity in two years as we do now. Uh, yeah I'll try to keep it at slightly above nothing, sure.</p><p> </p><p> Man, my boss is weird. At least he's easy to please.</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><p>----------------------</p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> <strong>WWE Wins</strong></p><p> </p><p> Remember the last incident with Penfold? Same thing here, with the same result. I'm still wondering who reports these meetings with agents I don't have.</p><p> </p><p> Live from Jerry's basement, where he writes creepy Sonic/MLP crossover fan fics.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Natalie Demarco vs Lucas Danger</strong></p><p> </p><p> Welcome to the low income era with these two. Natalie's Show Stealer gimmick was meh, while Lucas's Punk went over better. Matter of fact, he was all around better, so it's nice that Bob booked him to win. Rating: F</p><p> </p><p> Post match, Bob let me know Lucas was wasted, and that Natalie was pissed because he almost hurt her with a botched move. But think of the exposure you'll get on the C-verse's Botchamania equivalent!</p><p> </p><p> Time for me to talk. I know, it's exciting. I discuss a recent study on obesity and it's effect on emotional states. Yeah, a ten minute leadup to a fat joke on Penfold. Rating: D+</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Penfold Perdition vs Bob Casey</strong></p><p> </p><p> Foregone conclusion here, as I'm not telling the boss to put Penfold Five over, mostly for the sake of his back. Plus, Penny got gassed in a seven minute match, thankfully not in the smelly variety. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> I beat the crap out of Penfold for ten minutes after the the match, because it's been ten whole minutes since anything was about me. Rating: F+. I blame him.</p><p> </p><p> Sexy time with Jemma, the real star of this show. I need to find some way to leech off her heat. Rating: C-</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Final show rating: E+</strong></p><p> </p><p> Post show, Natalie complains personally about the whole Lucas wrestling under the influence thing, so I suppose something needs to be done. I ask him politely to maybe be sober for the five minutes the match needs. I'm sure he'll take it to heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> NEXT SHOW</p><p> </p><p> <strong>WWE RUlez</strong></p><p> </p><p> Hey look, another frigging Penfold incident. This time pulling a mean rib on Xander. That'll be enough of that. FIRED~! Penfold hates me, and even Xander thought that was out of line. But I did it all for you, Xander!</p><p> </p><p> Live from Jerry's Mom's Basement</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Samael the Accuser vs Lucus Danger</strong></p><p> </p><p> Punishment match time, as Lucas will take the fall so I can build Samael up to his inevitable loss at my hands. Aaaand Lucus is high again. Imagine that. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> Bob Casey is out to talk about his match against me tonight, with the help of his new manager, Jemma Griffiths. They're both pretty awful on the mike, but together they're slightly less so. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> My turn on the mike for the same reason, and I had a bit of an off night there. Still better a better promo even at my worst, LOSER! Rating: D-</p><p> </p><p> I gave myself an awesome ten minute entrance, because I deserve it. Rating: F+</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Bob Casey vs Darin Walker</strong></p><p><strong> for the Big Cardboard title</strong></p><p> </p><p> You know how this ends. Jemma helped out Bob of course, and Bob got better at whatever gimmick I gave him. None of which is going to get you past me, buddy. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> Sexy sex time with sex. Jemma's apparently getting better at her sexy gimmick too. Thumbs up there, sis. Rating: C</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Final show rating: D-</strong>. YEEEAH! Those eight people left satisfied, I tell ya.</p><p> Samael is mad about the Lucas thing again. Jeez, ya babies. It's only a high as hell spot monkey with barely any training. I get stern with him this time, but he got all angry about it. Go listen to some Linkin Park and get over it, kid. Everyone hates me or is high on drugs around here. It's like high school all over again.</p><p> </p><p> And so Week 2 comes to a close, seven grand in the hole and a very interesting locker room. Join us next time, when I hire more cheap folks to complain about me.</p>
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  • 3 months later...
Added extra potential popularity gains for Local, Small and Regional companies by request. These sized companies can now gain an extra few percentage points for good quality shows. This makes it marginally quicker to move up in size, even if the industry is in a poor state.




So let's get back to this before I forget about it again.


Well what do you know it's another frigging incident. Natalie didn't pay here share of the bar tab. Bob told her to buy drinks for everybody. Me first!


Nat improved from that. Um, ok.




WWE Rulez


Live from the place under the place


I decide to take the day off. Because I can. Might as well let the other boys shine a bit.


Lucas Danger vs Bob Casey


Lucas and Bob have some nice chemistry. Awesome news for a throwaway match. Bob wins, by virtue of not being a druggie. Rating: E-


Nat tells me Lucas was stoned. Not exactly a news flash sweetie.


I beat up Bob after the match, because why not? Rating: F+


Samael the Accuser vs Natalie DiMarco who doesn't accuse much at all, really


Samael takes this one really easy, proving himself worthy to lose to me later on. Good for him. Rating: E


I jump Samael too, just to assert myself. What, I meant a day off from wrestling. Rating: F+


Bob Casey vs Samael the Accuser of who farted, really that's nasty, man


Samael goes over the boss, despite Nat being completely crap at road agenting stuff. But it did the job, I guess. Rating: E


I go to jump Samael again, and he beats me up! OMG what a swerve, right in my face. Rating: E- Serves you right, hogging my spotlight.


Jemma is pretty easy on the eyes. Proof right here. Rating: C


Rating: E+


Needs more me, clearly.


After the show, Bob complains about Lucas being wasted. Well, you're the boss. Do something about it.


Well fine, I guess. I will. KNOCK IT OFF LUCAS. I'm sure it'll stick this time.


Spoiler: It didn't do crap.


Join us next time, when Samael totally has a chance to beat me. No, really, it might happen.

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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Darin Walker" data-cite="Darin Walker" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Everyone hates me or is high on drugs around here. It's like high school all over again.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> I literally lol'd.</p>
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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="DarEatWorld" data-cite="DarEatWorld" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I literally lol'd.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> I was part of the latter group, so don't judge the former too harshly.</p><p> </p><p> Alright, big day for us as we reach the end of the month, and I face the only person on the roster who has shown the slightest ability to challenge me in any way, shape, or form. </p><p> </p><p> But first, in what is now a tradition, incident time. This time is my new hire, who is apparently religious and annoyingly upfront about it. I tell the person in question to knock it off. And nothing noteworthy happened due to it. So that's good, I guess?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>WWE Wins</strong></p><p> </p><p> Live in front of 12 people in a place. I am a DRAW</p><p> </p><p> We start off this action packed nearly hour with talking. By me of course. I make up some creative insults toward Samael which I can't even be bothered to type out right now for fear of lessening it's majesty. Rating: D-</p><p> </p><p> Next up: more not wrestling. Lucas Danger comes out for no real reason and is immediately attacked by Natalie DiMarco. She pulls a stepladder out from under the ring and assaults him with it. We can't afford real ladders. This happened because I'm tired of the little stoner pissing people off, and Natalie doesn't like him anyway. Win-win, as long as your last name isn't Danger. Rating: F</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Natalie Dimarco vs Bob Casey</strong></p><p> </p><p> This match was just because both are a bit sluggish in the momentum department. I didn't even set a winner, because who cares if I'm not around? Bob wins, which is cool, because he's a better performer anyway. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> Samael is out for his turn at tearing me down verbally. Not as good as me, of course. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that he got four minutes while I got fifteen, though. Rating: E+</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Samael the Accuser vs Darin the Sexay</strong></p><p><strong> for the WWE Big Cardboard championship of the whole wide world</strong></p><p> </p><p> Samael has my number today, beating me from cheaply held together turnbuckle post to the other, even throwing me through a table that totally didn't have beanbags carefully hidden underneath before looking to finish me off early. But suddenly, he is attacked, by a mysterious woman in a mask with a taser! She rolls me over top of him to get the easy three, which takes me a good five minutes to realize. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p> Once I come to, I celebrate for five minutes, like a true champion barely conscious after being saved by a woman with a taser should. Rating: F+. Should have been higher, really.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Final Rating: E+</strong> I forgot to make Jemma do the sexy. DAMMIT</p><p> </p><p> After the show, I fired Lucas finally. Even my love for a screwed up backstage only goes so far. Despite that, my backstage went down a point thanks to preacher lady's preaching. Good God, there's no winning around here.</p><p> </p><p> I picked up a few new workers because we are really really thin on them right now, especially since I bounced Lucas out the door. Curious? Well, let's see who they are as we go to...</p><p> </p><p> A locker room incident. Of course.</p><p> </p><p> One of our new prospects didn't shake hands properly, and was brought to wrestler's court. Really, this is a thing? </p><p> </p><p> <strong>WWE Rulez</strong></p><p> </p><p> Live from somewhere with 14 people</p><p> </p><p> I come out to talk. And it was awesome, of course. Rating: C-</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Simony Sentinal vs. Bob Casey</strong></p><p> </p><p> Bob nearly met his match here, but managed to get a quick roll up to spoil Simony's debut. Jemma was good in his corner, of course. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> The mystery lady attacks me unprovoked and without any real reason, damn her. Rating: F+</p><p> </p><p> Samael wants revenge on me, but I'm out of action thanks to mystery beating. So guess what you get instead... Rating: E+</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Shiva vs Sameal the wrongful Accuser of me</strong></p><p> </p><p> It was a hard fought debut for Shiva. Samael even took a crazy bump for him, but manage to pull out the win to the amazement of 14 people. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Final Rating: E-</strong> Needs more sexy and more me.</p><p> </p><p> And so we've reached the first month in business. </p><p> It's been a long time, mostly because I forgot to update in like forever, but there has been progress. I went from unknown to E- in the islands, and my safety rating is up to 4, a gain of um, 4. So, y'know. Progress. Sameal is still more over than me, which I will change soon. </p><p> </p><p> Join us next month, when I will continue my goal to get me...uh, I mean, our company bigger and better. In the meantime, we are nearly 15 grand in the whole, and the economy is crapping out.</p>
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<p>So a quick look at the first month seems in order. I managed to pick up tiny amounts of wrestling skills, including a 4 in Safety! My entertainment skills are growing as well, which is even more important. I'm the biggest draw in my tiny pond, managing an E- in the islands. </p><p> </p><p>

So ends the good news. WWE is in debt and will continue to be so for a long while yet. I don't think the vultures are circling yet or anything, but they're probably migrating in my direction. My locker room is AWFUL. Everyone's getting dinged in the morale for toxic atmosphere. All in all, we're in rough shape. But I'm getting over, so I'm declaring victory for the month anyway.</p><p> </p><p>

For fun, I decide to pack on some weight. As a flabby light heavy, I can't possibly go wrong, right? Never really used this feature, so it should be fun to screw this up too.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WWE Wins</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Live from the usual spot crowded with 16 regulars.</p><p> </p><p>

No locker room incidents. It's like I don't even know these people anymore.</p><p> </p><p>

Bob Casey and Jemma are out her to talk about the upcoming fight with Dimarco. And so they do. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Bob Casey vs Natalie Dimarco</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Bob's moving his way down the card, being a good solid hand who's not leaving anytime soon regardless. So Natalie gets the win and a little bit better at the same time. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

I'm out here to talk about how awesome I am. Because someone has to. Rating: D+</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Simony Sentinel vs Samael the Accuser</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Pretty good match for a car crash style, especially since the masked woman made another appearance and knocked both of them out. Nothing says hardcore like a no contest! Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

I come out to confront the mystery woman, but she declines to stick around and we have us a little staredown to the delight of no one. Rating: F. Her fault, obviously.</p><p> </p><p>

But we'll send this one home on a happy note, with Jemma coming out and being hot to close the show. Got to know your audience. Rating: D+</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Final Rating: D-</strong></p><p> </p><p>

All is quiet, except for the constant complaining about the locker room environment, so let's jump right into the next show. </p><p> </p><p>

Locker room incident time. Now we're back on solid ground. Nat didn't pay her bar tab, so now she gets to buy us all drinks. Probably need them after this show. </p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WWE Rulez</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Live in a crowded basement of 17 freaks and geeks. And the audience!</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Shiva vs Natalie Dimarco</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Nat continues her winning ways over the little bruiser. As a bonus, they have good chemistry together. Awesome start for us. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

I'm out to talk about my opponent for the evening, local favorite Molokai Milk. Unfortunately, all my dairy related puns fall flat. Well, even I have an off night now and then. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Bob Casey vs Samael the Accuser</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Three guesses how this ends. You know, if I wasn't here, Sam would easily be the best thing about our litte slum fed. Too bad for him. At least he wins here. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

Molokai's out to rebut my earlier comments. Does so quite handily too. The jerk. Rating: D-</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Molokai Milk vs Darin Walker</strong></p><p><strong>

Ladder match for the WWE Big Cardboard championship</strong></p><p> </p><p>

I wanted a deathmatch, but Milkman has moral qualms with his fake violence. Wouldn't take a sick bump either, so I did. It's no wonder I book myself to win, I'm the only one willing to do whatever to send the crowd home happy. Winner is me. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

And Jemma does the usual closing of the show. Rating: D</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Final Rating: E+</strong> Stupid disappointing main event.</p>

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Surprised Bob would even talk to you with that hardcore product. Guy has no interest in being hit with anything harder than a swimming pool noodle. That said, he does make a terrific trainer for young talent and will certainly give you upper card matches worthy of a micro-indy like yourself. And i don't know about you but in my games, he'd be the agent holding the meeting that kept being missed.
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<p>This is hilarious, actually interested in seeing how far you manage to get.</p><p> </p><p>

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<p>I'm finally recovered from New Year's festivities, so let's have a drink and book some rasslin. But first, from the mailbag:</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Surprised Bob would even talk to you with that hardcore product. Guy has no interest in being hit with anything harder than a swimming pool noodle. That said, he does make a terrific trainer for young talent and will certainly give you upper card matches worthy of a micro-indy like yourself. And i don't know about you but in my games, he'd be the agent holding the meeting that kept being missed. </div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Well, he didn't talk to me so much as he came over one day and told me he was in charge. He's WWE's unpaid CEO. But he has been a major boon for us, definitely. He usually functions as our road agent for matches he doesn't participate in.</p><p> </p><p> And yeah, he keeps threatening to change our product, so far hasn't. Which is good, or I'll kill him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>This is hilarious, actually interested in seeing how far you manage to get.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Many thanks. I doubt we'll get more than a year in, but it'll be a fun year.</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><p>-------------</p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> Well on to the next show. And by that, I mean the last show. Turns out my data got corrupted and I had to revert to the backup copy. So let's pretend it was a fever dream or something. Considering it included a guy called Molokai Milk, it seems likely.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>WWE Rulez Part 2: Rulez Harder</strong></p><p> </p><p> No incidents. Seems almost too quiet.</p><p> </p><p> Live in the place with the people numbering eighteen</p><p> </p><p> We start with me and Samael talking. I, in my infinite wisdom and benevolence have granted him another title shot. He's fine with that. Rating: E+</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Simony Sentinel vs Natalie Dimarco</strong></p><p> </p><p> Nat was really off her game. And I'm really glad I'm pushing her now. Ugh. She wins, I don't. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> I make fun of Samael for a while, despite being the one to give him his match. Well, he's stupid for taking it, stupid face. Rating: D-</p><p> </p><p> Samael is hyped for his chance. However, he is still stupid. Rating: E-. See? A full grade lower kind of stupid.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Samael the Accuser vs Darin Walker</strong></p><p><strong> for the WWE Big Cardboard Championship of the Woooooooooooooooorld</strong></p><p> </p><p> We fight, briefly before Ms. Mystery Attacker attacks. Sadly, Samael and I saw this coming, and stop fighting to repel her! Ha, take that, lady. After that I roll up Samael while he's distracted for the win. HAHAHAHAHA STUPID! Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p> Afterwards, they both beat me down for many reasons. I might not of though this through entirely. Rating: F+. Because who wants to see me lose, honestly.</p><p> </p><p> Sexy time with...ah hell, you know how this goes. Rating: D-</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Final Show Rating: D-</strong>. You used the word stupid far too much in this show.</p><p> </p><p> Well, at least getting an accidental do-over resulted in a positive gain. Join us next time as we move forward in time for real.</p>
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<p>So I made the mistake of looking at the state of the economy in the US of A. F+ but at least it's rising. The industry is a D however, and falling. I am oh so glad I looked.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WWE Wins</strong></p><p> </p><p>

The mystery woman got herself another incident doing the preaching thing. So I fine her and give the proceeds to charity. She doesn't like that much. Isn't charity a thing in your religion, lady?</p><p> </p><p>

Live from yada yada</p><p> </p><p>

We open with talking, because it's not like wrestling brings people into the basement. It's me, in a wheelchair, talking about the terrible attacks we've all been suffering through from the mystery woman. And that jerk Samael. But I will recover soon, and you'll all pay. For the good of the company. Rating: C-. BOOM promo for the ages, even if only twenty people heard it.</p><p> </p><p>

Bob's out with Jemma, and the former has a match with Simony, while the latter gets to show her body off to close the show. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Bob Casey vs Simony Sentinel</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Bob got tired during this seven minute match. Endurance like that, he should be a main eventer around here. Interestingly, Simony performed to his level, which is rare around here. Keep an eye on her. She also wins. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

Natalie's out to promote her match with Samael. After the promo I cut the rest of these just make me sad face. Rating: E- </p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Natalie DiMarco vs Samael the Accuser</strong></p><p> </p><p>

This was pretty good. Well, by our standards. Maybe because there was no screwy finish this time. Natalie wins this one. Rating: E. Pay no attention to the fact that my lack of appearance in the main event resulted in a better match.</p><p> </p><p>

Aaaaaand here comes the mystery woman to ruin things. But wait, I get out of my wheelchair and stop her from attacking! It was a clever ruse. Rating: F. </p><p> </p><p>

And Jemma does the thing, which for once isn't the highlight of the show. Rating: D+</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Final Show Rating: D!</strong></p><p> </p><p>

I really like the idea of the mystery woman, but she hasn't brought the ratings and her preaching just annoys everyone. FIRED!</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WWE Rulez</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Nat's in wrestler's court again, charged with not shaking hands. Free drinks for everyone again!</p><p> </p><p>

From the underground of Jerry's house with twenty other folks.</p><p> </p><p>

Samael is not nearly as impressed as I am with Simony, so he's going to beat her up. Sounds reasonable. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Samael the Accuser vs Simony Sentinel</strong></p><p> </p><p>

I didn't book a winner in this one, because I didn't really care. Simony managed to beat Sam, who has not had a good time of things lately. She's been doing well enough to deserve it though. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

Bob and I are out to talk about our tag team table match tonight against Nat and Shiva. Bob couldn't really hang here in the promo. Shame. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Shiva and Natalie Dimarco vs Bob Casey and Darin Walker</strong></p><p><strong>

Tag Team Tables match</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Natalie was the star of the show here, and her and Shiva work well together. Hard to put a tag division together with only six people though. Still, she wins by putting Bob through a table, because I can't be taking clean losses. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

Jemma and I close the show, combining my ability to talk good with her ability to look good. Well done us. Rating: D</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Final Show Rating: E</strong>. Well, it'll do.</p><p> </p><p>

Join us next time, as I continue to hunt for fresh talent that doesn't bomb my locker room.</p>

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<p>We begin anew with the same old same old. Samael isn't into handshaking this time. I'm starting to think this wrestler's court thing a bit repetitive.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WWE Wins</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Live on tape from the underground place. 23 people with nothing better to do. </p><p> </p><p>

I come out to welcome everyone and inform them, in the interest of fairness, that tonight everyone will bring the sexy, lest we think the WWE only consider women to be sexual objects. Rating: D+</p><p> </p><p>

And we'll begin with Bob Casey, you lucky ladies and gay guys. Rating: E. This angle got the crowd hotter. HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA</p><p> </p><p>

Simony Sentinel is out next, and not surprisingly is much better recieved. She doesn't dance as good as Bob though. Rating: D</p><p> </p><p>

Samael is supposed to be next, but doesn't approve of such risque activities. So Natalie comes out and beats him up. That'll learn him. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

Natalie does her sexy thing after. Rating: D</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Simony Sentinel vs Shiva</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Oh hey a match. Decent enough affair, with Simony picking up a bit of brawling as well as the win. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Samael the Accuser vs Natalie Dimarco</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Still not happy, our Sammy. And he'll continue not being happy, as Natalie takes the win here. Think it might be time to give her the title shot again. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

And even on a night like this, there is only one way to end the show. Take it away, Jemma. Rating: D+</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Final Show Rating: D-</strong>. And I wonder why I have wrestling at all on the show.</p><p> </p><p>

I have a habit of eyeballing estimated sponsorship income between shows, since there's no way of telling when WWE's popularity goes up until the letter grade changes. We are slowly inching up toward a grand a month now, which was much faster than I was expecting. Maybe I will make a go of it soon.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WWE Rulez</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Simony won't shake hands and so on. This is getting really damned old.</p><p> </p><p>

Live in front of the same 23 people.</p><p> </p><p>

I'm out to say hi, and tell people that I'm going to beat Natalie tonight in the main event. Uh, spoilers dude. Rating: E+</p><p> </p><p>

Shiva comes out for his match, but gets beaten up by Samael. Rating: F</p><p> </p><p>

Turns out, Sam is mad as hell at Natalie, and refuses to leave until she comes out. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Bob Casey vs Samael the Accuser</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Bob thinks he can move him the old fashioned way. He is dead wrong. Sam beats the hell out of him and pins him in just a few minutes. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

Is there anyone who can stop this man?</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Simony Sentinel vs Samael the Accuser</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Yes, yes there is. It went back and forth a bit, but Simony pulls out the win, much to Samael's disgust. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

Now that he's gone, Natalie's out to talk about the match tonight. She thinks she's going to win. More on that later. Rating: E</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Natalie Dimarco vs Darin Walker</strong></p><p><strong>

Ladder Match for the most coveted prize in our sport, the piece of cardboard I wear around</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Natalie disagreed with the booking here, until I glared at her and cracked my knuckles. I am such a good boss. Not much to say, really. I'm terrible at wrestling but keep winning at it. Rating: E-</p><p> </p><p>

Insert usual ending here. Rating: D+</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Final Show Rating: E+</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Join us next time as I decide if I'd be better off making this a strip club with occasional wrestling.</p>

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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Darin Walker" data-cite="Darin Walker" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Join us next time as I decide if I'd be better off making this a strip club with occasional wrestling.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> So, basically, Babes of Sin City: Hawaiian Edition?</p>
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  • 7 months later...
<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="kingjames" data-cite="kingjames" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="42610" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>So, basically, Babes of Sin City: Hawaiian Edition?</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Babes and Bros, really. We are equal opportunity skin peddlers.</p><p> </p><p> RISE FROM YOU GRAVE!</p><p> </p><p> Yeah, I'm back. Sorry for the wait. </p><p> </p><p> So I scanned over the write-ups and company to refamiliarize myself with everything and OH MY GOD I am terrible at this wrestling promotion thing. The backstage is a mess, our finances are dribbling down my pant leg, and I have no idea how Simony's name is pronounced. </p><p> </p><p> It's good to be home.</p><p> </p><p> And bad to be TCW, as they collapse to Cult size. All those fans I'm drawing away, no doubt.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>WWE Winz</strong></p><p> </p><p> Hey, a backstage incident. It's all coming back to me. Shiva forgot to shake hands, and we'll all get drunk for it.</p><p> </p><p> 26 showed up for this.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Bob Casey vs Samael the Accuser</strong></p><p> </p><p> I remembered Sam being pretty good, so here's a win for him. The crowd got good and buzzed, so win for me too. <strong>Rating: E-</strong></p><p> </p><p> After the match, I come out and drench Jemma with a bucket of water, just for fun. Now she knows why I bought her that white t-shirt yesterday. <strong>Rating: D+</strong>. This got the crowd hotter. Yeah, I bet.</p><p> </p><p> I make fun of Simony Sentinel, because I just know how to treat the ladies tonight. <strong>Rating: C-</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Simony Sentinel vs Darin Walker</strong></p><p><strong> for the WWE Belt of Infinite Cardboard</strong></p><p> </p><p> After all this terrible treatment of women, this is the perfect spot to let them get back at me and send the crowd home happy that the good girls won. So I tap her out in the middle of the ring despite being off my already weak game tonight. <strong>Rating: E-</strong></p><p> </p><p> So Jemma comes out for her usual thing...which is just a distraction as Bob Casey attacked me, and then Jemma joins in! Ah, the sneaky bastards. What did I do to deserve this treatment? <strong>Rating: F+</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Final Show Rating: D-</strong>. Noice.</p><p> </p><p> Bob emails me to tell me to book him stronger. Jeez, you just beat up the champ with the help of a woman, what more do you want?</p><p> </p><p> <strong>WWE Rulez</strong></p><p> </p><p> Nat didn't shake hands, yada yada</p><p> </p><p> Hey, 31 people. YEAH</p><p> </p><p> Samael tells me he deserves a match with me. Deserves got nothing to do with it. But if he can beat Shiva, I'll do it out of boredom. He agrees. <strong>Rating: D-</strong>. Sam doesn't do well off script, especially with me there.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Shiva vs Samael the Accuser</strong></p><p> </p><p> This one wasn't in doubt, as Shiva's just here to lose. The crowd just keeps getting hotter though. <strong>Rating: E-</strong></p><p> </p><p> Samael stays in the ring to tell me all about the pain he's bringing for me. And it's not even Christmas! He struggled less without me around. <strong>Rating: E+</strong></p><p> </p><p> Jemma's turn to talk smack about me. It's like the whole show revolves around me or something. <strong>Rating: E</strong>. She improvised well.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Bob Casey vs Natalie Dimarco</strong></p><p> </p><p> Bob wants his heat, so Nat's taking one for the team here. Cause I ain't. Crowd goes buzz buzz for this one. <strong>Rating: E-</strong></p><p> </p><p> I make fun of Bob, because he deserves it, honestly. I ain't scared, and I tell it to him. <strong>Rating: C-</strong>. I like seeing masterful job in promo notes.</p><p> </p><p> Jemma's out to do the usual shakey-shakey. <strong>Rating: D+</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Final Show Rating: D-</strong>. This is the first time I regret letting Jemma's hotness close the show.</p><p> </p><p> So here at the end of August, February finally comes to a close. To begin March, we lost another 15 grand, my most optimistic financial projection says six or seven months to break even point, and we haven't bumped up to F popularity in our little island chain.</p><p> </p><p> So, I declare victory once again.</p><p> </p><p> Join me next post, which hopefully won't be six months away. Ta-ta.</p>
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It occurs to me during a reread of my posts that I am pretty much every scumbag indy promoter ever. I'm not sure how to feel about that.


WWE Wins


No incidents. Going to have to buy my own beer tonight.


35 people and counting.


We open the show with me, as we should. I talk about my upcoming match with Sam, and my annoyance with Bob and Jemma. Compelling stuff. Rating: D


Shiva vs Natalie Dimarco


This was just to keep Natalie warm for future plans I haven't planned yet. Good chemistry is just a bonus. Rating: E-


Simony Sentinel vs Bob Casey


And this is becuase Bob wants some momentum. Remember ladies, this was his idea, not mine! Bob goes over, of course. Rating: E


But more importantly, back to me. As I come back to the ring, Jemma arrives to tell me that she thinks Bob should get a match with me as well. Well, he can wait in line for his inevitable loss. I agree to a match next show, then beat her up for annyoing me. I am a awful, awful person. Rating: D-. She can't hang with me on the mic either.


Samael the Accuser vs Darin Walker

for the WWE only slightly duct-taped Championship


I suppose I could have given Sam some promo time, but that would have cut into my segments. Priorities, y'know? Not like we don't know how this story ends. Until Bob Casey shows up, at least and pushes me off the top rope through a merchandise table that was oddly close to the ring. And then Samael drags me back in and puts his feet on the ropes just to make sure. Samael actually wins. What a twist! Rating: E-. You didn't think I'd lose clean, didya?


Bob and Jemma spend the post match beating me up to the horror of my dozens of fans, losing storyline heat in the process. THANKS BOSS. Rating: E-


Final Show Rating: E+. This better shut him up about the momentum thing now.


Well, this at least put us over the popularity hump. We are now F in Hawaii, and E- in company momentum. Apparently there's a market in me beating up women. That's disturbing.


Sam's also the most over wrestler in the company. I'm not too surprised there, though I'll have to get that heat back. And the belt, of course.


The backstage environment is even improving. I think they just like seeing me get my ass kicked.


While I wait for time to pass I shop for new blood. Even I get tired of jobbing the same old same old folks.


WWE Rulez


Incident, Shiva, handshake, booze. Bob is hardcore on that handshake thing.


39 humanoids in attendance.


Bob Casey and Jemma are out to talk about finally getting one over on me. Totally unjustified, in my opinion. Rating: E-


Bob then calls out Sam wanting his title match. Samael's out to respond, and after some terrible back and forth, determine that he needs to beat someone else to earn it, since he technically challenged me and not the champ. Meanwhile, Sam's taking the ever so worthy Shiva tonight. Reminder not to let these guys freestyle their promos. Rating: E-. Crowd got hotter regardless.


Bob Casey vs Austin Smooth


Austin's a local doing a one night gig, so three guesses how this ends. Austin carries the match well, and puts the boss over clean. Rating: E+. Maybe I should give the kid a real contract.


Samael's out to talk about beating me last time. Because whenever Poochie's not around, everyone should be asking, "Where's Poochie?". Rating: E. Much better scripted.


Then he talks about beating up Shiva tonight for a change. Oddly, the crowd's all about that. Rating: E+


Shiva vs Samael the Accuser

for the right to keep my belt warm


Hey what do you know, the match quality improves when I'm not around. Who'd have thought? Samael wins, of course, because it's Shiva. Rating: E+


And Jemma's out for the usual to end the show. Rating: D+


Final Show Rating: D-. Not bad for me not being around.


Not to much else to tell this around, as I enjoy some time off. Join me next time, when I make my no doubt glorious comeback.

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<p>So, for the very first time in this company's brief history, we've reached a 50% backstage rating. It's so peaceful and serene compared to normal. So I expect three incidents at showtime to keep me on my toes.</p><p> </p><p>

Besides the gradual fade of the toxic atmosphere I had only kind of encouraged in the early goings, another factor has been the newest edition to our roster. Somehow adding another teenager to this party makes things calmer. Not been my experience in the past, but what do I know? So let's meet the new kid in today's exciting episode of...</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WWE Wins</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Now with three less incidents than I predicted.</p><p> </p><p>

41 people and climbing.</p><p> </p><p>

Natalie Dimarco is out here to talk about her match with Simony after this talk. She's also out here so I can she if she promos okay. <strong>Rating: E+</strong>. Of course I gave her a script. I'm not that confident.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Simony Sentinel vs Natalie Dimarco</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Here's that match we were just talking about. I didn't book a winner, but Natalie wins, despite getting crapped on by crowd of literal basement dwellers. Well, any heat's good heat, right? <strong>Rating: E</strong></p><p> </p><p>

I come out to have a small lecture on why despite Bob's unprovoked and spiteful attack that broke multiple no doubt important bones, I will not interfere in his title match tonight. See, I am completely trustworthy. <strong>Rating: E+</strong>. STOP LAUGHING, I AM TRUSTWORTHY</p><p> </p><p>

Bob is out to talk about his match with Sammy boy tonight. Well, Jemma's doing all the talking really, and that is for the best. <strong>Rating: E-</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Samael's out to give his side of the story. And that side is, Bob sucks, Sam rules. Sounds legit. <strong>Rating: E+</strong></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Bob Casey vs Samael the Accuser</strong></p><p><strong>

for the greatest prize in the basement</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Hope Bob liked his push. He got really close, before he was suddenly distracted by someone messing with his woman! Hey, not by me, it was Jumpin Johnny Needham, who at least two people in the crowd recognized. So my hands are clean. But not Samael's victory. <strong>Rating: E</strong></p><p> </p><p>

With Jemma suddenly leaving due to random dude jumping out of the crowd to molest her, the crowd is confused on how the show ends. So Natalie's out to take her place. <strong>Rating: D-</strong>. Oh, sure <em>now</em> you guys like her.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Final Show Rating: E+</strong>. Show got dinged for not having Wild Brawls, Car Crashes, or Mayhem matches. Must of misclicked. Ask around about the John Cone/John Cena thing.</p><p> </p><p>

So, Ashley Grover is another positive influence in the locker room, despite her only contribution to the company was getting talked into rehab by our referee. This place is weird. I didn't even pay her anything.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WWE Rulez</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Still no incidents. Spooky.</p><p> </p><p>

Still 41 people. Probably a coincidence.</p><p> </p><p>

Bob is out to confront me about the incident last time. Hey, I did nothing, and couldn't since he injured me unjustly and gave me amnesia. Besides, the winners of the two matches tonight get to square off next time to get a shot at Sam's belt. He seems unimpressed. Some people are impossible to please. <strong>Rating: E+</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Johnny is out here to talk about how awesome he is and how he's going to win pretty much always. He was frigging awful, and I had to do the heavy lifting. Next time, cue cards. <strong>Rating: E-</strong></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Simony Sentinel vs Johnny Needham</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Yeah, I'm managing the guy who attacked my enemy. Pure coincidence. Simony does a good job putting him over, with me being awesome ringside. <strong>Rating: E+</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Bob and Jemma are out to talk about their distrust of me, and how good it will be to get Bob's hands on Johnny. Sounds...suggestive. <strong>Rating: E-</strong></p><p> </p><p>

I gave Samael some mic time to freestyle a promo about how badass he is. He was...better than Johnny. <strong>Rating: E+</strong></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Natalie Dimarco vs Bob Casey</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Well, this is going the obvious way, to set up the revenge match between, oh wait, no it's not, I attack Bob while the ref's not looking, costing him the match. NOW you can blame me for interfering. <strong>Rating: E-</strong>. Crowd still razzing Natalie.</p><p> </p><p>

Jemma will do the usual to close the sh...nope, Natalie knocks her down and strips her to the delight of the crowd. <strong>Rating: D</strong></p><p> </p><p>

And Natalie again dos the sexy dance to end the show. <strong>Rating: D</strong>. I guess they're fine as long as she doesn't wrestle.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Final Show Rating: D-</strong></p><p> </p><p>

And despite the crowd crapping on her wrestling, Natalie autopushes to Main Event by the power of her own two breasts. Not sure if I should be pleased or feel sorry for her.</p><p> </p><p>

Join us next time as Natalie's sexy collides against Samael's gothy for the Cardboard Strap.</p>

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