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Tyfyb (wcw 1991)


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It was December of 1990. The offices of World Championship Wrestling were a hotbed of activity, which is certainly more than could be said for the actual product. Years of declining attendance and people getting frustrated with the backstage incompetence had led to this meeting of the top men in the company.

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/macjap/WCW08/th_TedTurner.jpg

 

"Now, Jim, I understand that I gave you WCW to run with little 'rasslin experience. But it's been two years now, and we're drawing houses smaller than we did when Crockett was running things. And on top of that, we've lost a lot of talent to Vince. What are your plans for getting us back to a place where we can be competitive again."

 

herd.jpg

 

"Well you see Mr. Turner. The problem is that we have been relying on Ric Flair for too long! He's not over with the younger crowd you see. But I have a plan for him..."

 

"And what might that be?"

 

"Well, we're gonna put him on a long losing streak. Make him doubt himself. Then he can reinvent himself as a modern day gladiator!"

 

"....you mean that figuratively?"

 

"NO! We'll have him shave his hair, wear an earring! I was thinking of even calling him Spartacus!"

 

"....."

 

"I see you like that idea. Well here's another one. We've already got Art Barr doing the Beetlejuice thing right? Well let's turn Brad Armstrong into a Spider-Man gimmick! He's popular, right! We'll call him Arachnaman..."

 

"...Jim..."

 

"...and we'll take one of the Master Blasters, Kevin something or other, and turn him into a character from the Wizard of Oz. In fact...We'll call him Oz! Yeah...and we'll have dancing midgets saying WELCOME TO OZ! to bring him to the ring..."

 

"...Jim..."

 

"...and I still think my idea of the wrestling hunchbacks is gold. THEY CAN"T BE PINNED CAUSE THEY HAVE NO SHOULDERS!!!"

 

"JIM!"

 

Silence finally reigned in the office.

 

"I think your ideas aren't what we're looking for in a wrestling promotion Jim."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"If people want that cartoon cavalcade stuff, then they can go watch Vince's three ring circus. I want real 'rasslin on my TV show. It's what we've always had and by god, it's what we're always gonna have on the Superstation as far as I'm concerned."

 

"What are you saying sir?"

 

"I'm saying goodbye Jim. And thankfully I have found your replacement already. He's a man who you got to quit the company a few months back, but he comes highly recommended from Ric, Harley, and all the other boys, not to mention Bill Watts too."

 

Ted presses a button on his desk.

 

"Debra, could you send him in please?"

 

A side door opens and Jim Herd looks on with horror as his replacement walks through a side door.

 

"HIM!? Mr. Turner there must be some mistake...he can't be replacing me!"

 

"He will and he is. Thank you for your time Mr. Herd, I believe your replacement has a few words for you...please try to be civil as you can be."

 

Turner leaves, knowing the tongue lashing that's about to come.

 

"Listen buster, if you think you can replace me..."

 

"Replace you? I don't want to replace you Jim I want to eradicate your entire existence. I'm half inclined to book the last two years a fever dream of Dusty Rhodes. Listen to me you glorified jock-sniffer, now I may not have been in this business for much more than a decade, but I know what I'm doing and I know what these people want. And they don't want hunchbacks, or disappearing tigers, or god damned RoboCop. So why don't you scoot your merry ole ass back to the pizza parlor or wherever the hell you crawled out of. And take those damn dancing bears with you."

 

Herd doesn't want to listen to this, and begins to storm out. The man calls out to him one last time, the tone of his voice indicating he wishes to end on a civil note. That certainly isn't the case as he smiles at his former nemesis.

 

"One more thing Jim..."

 

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/977/637/jim-cornette_display_image.jpg?1306839039

 

THANK YOU

 

F*CK YOU

 

BYE!

 

Jim Cornette is running WCW. Lord help us all.

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<p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><span>http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/logopedia/images/7/7b/WCW-Logo.png/revision/latest?cb=20111218023151</span><p> </p><p>

<strong>World Championship Wrestling Roll Call of Champions</strong></p><p><strong>

January 1991</strong></p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WCW World Heavyweight Champion:</strong> Sting (won Wk 1, Jul 1990)</p><p>

- Ric Flair (7) (won wk 1, May 1989)</p><p>

- Ricky Steamboat (won wk 3, Feb 1989)</p><p>

- Ric Flair (6) (won wk 4, Nov 1987)</p><p>

- Ron Garvin (won wk 4, Sep 1987)</p><p>

- Ric Flair (5) (won wk 2, Aug 1986)</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WCW United States Heavyweight Champion:</strong> Lex Luger (4) (won wk 3, Dec 1990)</p><p>

- Stan Hansen (won wk 4, Oct 1990)</p><p>

- Lex Luger (3) (won wk 3, May 1989)</p><p>

- Michael Hayes (won wk 1, May 1989)</p><p>

- Lex Luger (2) (won wk 3, Feb 1989)</p><p>

- Barry Windham (won wk 2, May 1988)</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WCW World Tag Team Champions:</strong> Doom [Ron Simmons & Butch Reed] (won wk 3, May 1990)</p><p>

- The Steiner Brothers [Rick & Scott Steiner] (won wk 1, Nov 1989)</p><p>

- The Fabulous Freebirds [Jimmy Garvin & Michael Hayes] (won wk 2, Jun 1989)</p><p>

- The Varsity Club [Mike Rotunda & Steve Williams] (won wk 1, Apr 1989)</p><p>

- The Road Warriors [Hawk & Animal] (won wk 4, Oct 1988)</p><p>

- The Midnight Express [bobby Eaton & Stan Lane] (won wk 2, Sep 1988)</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WCW World Television Champion:</strong> "Z-Man" Tom Zenk (won wk 1, Dec 1990)</p><p>

- Arn Anderson (2) (won wk 1, Jan 1990)</p><p>

- The Great Muta (won wk 1, Sep 1989)</p><p>

- Sting (won wk 4, Mar 1989)</p><p>

- Mike Rotunda (3) (won wk 3, Feb 1989)</p><p>

- Rick Steiner (won wk 4, Dec 1988)</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>WCW United States Tag Team Champions:</strong> The Steiner Brothers [Rick & Scott Steiner] (won wk 4, Aug 1990)</p><p>

- The Midnight Express [bobby Eaton & Stan Lane] (3) (won wk 3, May 1990)</p><p>

- Brian Pillman & Z-Man (won wk 2, Feb 1990)</p><p>

- VACANT (beginning wk 1, May 1989)</p><p>

- Eddie Gilbert & Rick Steiner (won wk 4, Feb 1989)</p><p>

- The Varsity Club [Kevin Sullivan & Steve Williams] (won wk 4, Dec 1988)</p></div><p></p><p></p>

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<p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><span>http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/f4w/images/4/4b/Meltzer.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070604153316</span></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<em>"Dave Meltzer here with some inside scoop on the happenings inside WCW. It appears that former Pizza Hut executive and all-around unlikable guy Jim Herd has been given the boot from WCW, and in his place the recently fired Jim Cornette has been brought back. There has been some movement already from Cornette, as he has withdrawn WCW from the NWA (and has instead named all the NWA titles they held as WCW Titles). The immediate effect has created a hostile relationship with the few territories remaining in the once grand alliance."</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>

"Furthermore we understand that </em><em><strong>Harley Race</strong></em><em> is going to be transitioned to a backstage/managerial role as opposed to the on-air competitive role he has had in recent months. Cornette has also offered contracts to the York Foundation of Terry Taylor and Mike Rotunda, as well as a written deal to Owen Hart and Art Barr (who is expected to be repackaged from his Juicer gimmick. No word yet on what talents will be seen as gone, though Stan Hansen has been allowed to leave to go to AJPW full time. The immediate word is that Sid Vicious may not be long for the company, at least among big names."</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>

"Signees will also be coming in from around the country as well. Already there's rumors of Cornette signing Steve Austin and Stan Lane away from USWA (which would likely mean a Midnight reunion coming quickly, if true) and word on the street is that Cactus Jack may be brought in on a full time basis this time. There are also heavy rumors regarding two of the biggest free agents in the business, that WCW would sign "Ravishing" Rick Rude and Jesse Ventura to be a main event player and color commentator respectively. To that end, it's expected that Paul E. Dangerously may transition back to active managing in the near future."</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>

"Cornette will not likely play a major on-screen role, at least at first. If the Midnight Express is revived, he will not be their manager for the time being."</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>

"The Clash of the Champions is set to take place in the third week of January on Saturday. The Main Event is expected to be a rematch for the World Title from the Great American Bash, as Sting defends against Ric Flair."</em></p><p> </p><p>

</p><div style="text-align:center;"><p><strong>WCW Saturday Night Card</strong></p><p> </p><p>

Arn Anderson & Barry Windham vs. Sting & "Flyin" Brian Pillman</p><p> </p><p>

"The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko vs. Brad Armstrong</p><p> </p><p>

WCW Television Title Match</p><p>

"Z-Man" Tom Zenk © vs. "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton</p><p> </p><p>

Chris & Mark Youngblood vs. The Fabulous Freebirds</p><p> </p><p>

#1 Contenders Match for the World Tag Team Titles</p><p>

The York Foundation vs. Tommy Rich & Ricky Morton</p><p> </p><p>

Lethal Larry vs. Owen Hart</p></div><p></p><p></p>

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Guest Asaemon

<p>WCW Saturday Night Card</p><p> </p><p>

Arn Anderson & Barry Windham vs. <strong>Sting & "Flyin" Brian Pillman</strong></p><p>

</p><p><strong>

"The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko</strong> vs. Brad Armstrong</p><p> </p><p>

WCW Television Title Match</p><p>

"Z-Man" Tom Zenk © vs. <strong>"Beautiful" Bobby Eaton</strong></p><p><strong>

</strong></p><p>

Chris & Mark Youngblood vs.<strong> The Fabulous Freebirds</strong></p><p><strong>

</strong></p><p>

#1 Contenders Match for the World Tag Team Titles</p><p>

<strong>The York Foundation</strong> vs. Tommy Rich & Ricky Morton</p><p> </p><p>

Lethal Larry vs. <strong>Owen Hart</strong></p>

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<p>Excited to see where you take this!</p><p> </p><p>

Arn and Windham - <em>Keep those Horsemen looking good and strong with a pin over Brian.</em></p><p>

Larry Zbyszko - <em>Could make a great US title contender very quickly.</em></p><p>

Tom Zenk - <em>As tempting as it would be to jump the belt here, I think the MX will reunite, so Bobby doesn't pick up this belt.</em></p><p>

Freebirds - <em>Way more over than the Youngbloods, and also more stable contract-wise.</em></p><p>

York Foundation - <em>I'm amused that this is a match consisting of all people who joined the Foundation IRL.</em></p><p>

Owen Hart - <em>Easy call.</em></p>

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<p>WCW Saturday Night Card</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Arn Anderson & Barry Windham</strong> vs. Sting & "Flyin" Brian Pillman</p><p>

<em>Must I choose?</em></p><p>

<strong>"The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko</strong> vs. Brad Armstrong</p><p>

<em>Brad's a good JTTS, and Larry can be utilised well in '91</em></p><p>

WCW Television Title Match</p><p>

<strong>"Z-Man" Tom Zenk ©</strong> vs. "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton</p><p>

<em>Zenk had a lot of potential at this time</em></p><p>

Chris & Mark Youngblood vs. <strong>The Fabulous Freebirds</strong></p><p>

<em>BADSTREET USA</em></p><p>

#1 Contenders Match for the World Tag Team Titles</p><p>

<strong>The York Foundation</strong> vs. Tommy Rich & Ricky Morton</p><p>

<em>Loved the York Foundation</em></p><p>

Lethal Larry vs. <strong>Owen Hart</strong></p><p>

<em>Strap a rocket to Owen and push!</em></p>

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