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Harry Chadwick's Weird and Wonderful World of Professional Wrestling


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The Best Day of Phonse Lockett’s Young Life So Far…

 

 

The sun was shining in Monroe, Louisiana. Children were playing outside, adults were at work and the permanently stuck in between Phonse Lockett - yes, that’s his real name - was doing what he normally did in these quiet summer days.

 

http://i.imgur.com/6DZE8Qn.jpg

 

TELL ME WHY

AIN’T NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE

 

TELL ME WHY

AIN’T NOTHING BUT A MISTAKE

 

TELL WHY

I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY

I

WAAAAAAAAAANT

IT

THAAAAAAAT

WAY

This stellar, future award winning performance was sadly cut short by a phone call received by Phoense.

 

http://ragegenerator.com/images/ragebuilder-faces/Some-Time-Later-2/04%20-%203%20hours3.jpg

 

Phoense stepped out of the cab and stared the old, slightly decaying theatre down. Dressed in his best suit and with his hair at its improbable best, nothing could stop Phoense.

 

Knocking on the door with his signature knock that totally isn’t the starting beat to that one New Kids on The Block song everyone knows, Phonse waited. And waited.

 

And waited.

 

Phoense waited until a limousine pulled up behind him and the horn blared.

 

http://i.imgur.com/cqOczHZ.jpg

 

“Hi son, didn’t mean to keep you waiting.

 

I’m Harry Chadwick, owner of this place. I believe you’re here for the job advertised?”

 

“Uh, shyeah”

Harry Chadwick began to regret his decision.

 

“Well then, we best get acquainted.

 

Tell me, how much do you know about professional wrestling?”

 

Phonse lit up like a Christmas tree.

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THE BUSINESS PROPOSAL

 


Phonse had never been in a limousine before. They were bigger than he expected. Like that one boxy thing from that old and terrible British TV show his roommate had taken up watching. Something like Doctor…

 


http://i.imgur.com/cqOczHZ.jpg

 

 

 


“What?”

 


http://i.imgur.com/6DZE8Qn.jpg

 

 

 


“No, it’s Who.”

 


HC: “No son, I mean what are you on about? Sounded like you were narrating your own life there”.

 


Phoense definitely wasn’t.

 


Harry looked suspicious.

 


PL: “ANYWAYS SIR, I’VE BEEN A BIG FAN OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING EVER SINCE THE DAYS OF WRESTLEBOT 9000!”

 


….

 


“I mean, yes Mr. Chadwick. I have knowledge of the professional wrestling industry and I focused part of my degree on how the industry is a good example of communications within media.”

 


HC: “You wrote your thesis on Danny Jillefski?”

 


PL: “Actually I fudged it a little and focus on Peter Michaels. Danny was never any good at communicating”.

 


HC: “You’re an odd kid but that’s what I’m looking for. I’ve been itching to get into this business for a while now but I’ve never had the right hook. You seem like the kind of ideas man that I can work with. Plus you clearly know how to handle getting the word out there about us.”

 


GIRLISH SCREAM THEN THUD!~

 


http://hermite2012.free.fr/ragecomics/Some%20Time%20Later/01%20-%20later5.jpg

 

 

 


“You okay there son?”

 


http://i.imgur.com/6DZE8Qn.jpg

 

 

 


“this is the best day ever”.

 

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WELCOME TO THE WEIRD AND WONDERFUL WORLD OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!

 


Here you will see the weirdest, the most wonderful, the most professional of wrestlers do battle in monthly contests! They fight for glory! They fight for honour! And some, through a series of events unexplainable at this current time, are literally fighting for paychecks!

 


The Heroes!

 


http://i.imgur.com/xH7BdCR.jpg

 


Hawkeye Calhoun

 


America is in his DNA. Blessed with a strong batting arm, Hawkeye is rumoured to be a major league baseball star who has turned to professional wrestling to escape the media pressures of the baseball world! Always carrying his trusty Louisville Slugger to ringside, he is one third of Batter Up alongside Klukk Kaw and Tabby Furious however he constantly disagrees with his associates’ more violent methods.

 


http://i.imgur.com/lDmuywG.jpg

 


JOJI

 


The Japanese Sensation comes to Louisiana! After wowing crowds in his homeland, JOJI is on a spiritual quest to find himself and discover more of the world. A little spacey, many have chalked this up to him still adjusting to his new surroundings. One thing is for certain though, once he ascends to the skies and flies off with the Joji Miracle Explosion, everyone in attendance is bound to be stunned!

 


http://i.imgur.com/dZzX719.jpg

 


Klukk Kaw

 


The biggest, baddest rooster in all of the lands, Klukk Kaw is a damaged soul. Never finding a place to call home, Kaw drifted from town to town until a chance encounter in Hoboken saw him first fight then make friends with tag team partner Tabby Furious. Coming to Louisiana with Tabby and their mentor in the art of the bat Hawkeye Calhoun - although Hawkeye initially taught them to use the bat for good rather than Klukk and Tabby’s more violent methods.

 


Currently locked in a war with Tabby’s brothers Mr Meow and Mittens, the war only looks set to end when one side is broken and beaten forever.

 


http://i.imgur.com/NpUiAyH.jpg

 


Little Dragon

 


Following his idol JOJI over to America, Little Dragon - no first or surname given - hopes to one day team with the man he has patterned his career after. Whilst not mirroring JOJI’s look, Little Dragon has certainly mirrored his in ring style.

 


Seemingly adapting to the United States more than his idol, Little Dragon’s potential is unlimited!

 


http://i.imgur.com/POunM3X.jpg

 


Tabby Furious

 


One part of a happy family alongside his brothers Mr Meow and Mittens, Tabby Furious - formally known as just Tabby - comes to Louisiana alongside his partner in crime Klukk Kaw and their unwilling mentor Hawkeye Calhoun. Whilst the events that turned Mr Meow & Mittens’ relationship with Tabby sour are as of yet unrevealed, the war that has seen Klukk Kaw, Tabby, Mr Meow and Mittens all banned from several states has wound up in Louisiana and has no end in sight!

 


http://i.imgur.com/4SwhsL0.jpg

 


The Faceless Questioner

 


“I was thinking about that dame upstairs. The way she looked at me caught my eye.

 


It was the last thing my eye caught.

 


I soon learned having a face in this line of work was dangerous”.

 


http://i.imgur.com/tYMKXbm.jpg

 


The Spirit of Zeus

 


On a learning excursion from Mount Olympus, The Spirit of Zeus - literally, his spirit was transplanted into an unsuspecting American professional wrestler whose name will never be known whilst Zeus’ actual body rests - has come to Louisiana in order to test himself against the best that the Weird and Wonderful World of Wrestling has to offer!

 


http://i.imgur.com/Ntt1p8L.jpg

 


Wheels McDeals

 


Coming straight to the Wonderdome from his regular job at Size Matters Pizza Company, Wheels McDeals is a junior employee who has been forced by his branch manager Abigail Romanov and corporate head quarters to defend the company’s honour in the professional wrestling ring - normally against bigger and better opponents whilst his colleagues Taylor Kidd and The Golden Swirl get regular bonuses and nights off. Corruption!

 


http://i.imgur.com/pKSafLk.jpg

 


Zak Attack

 


The most exciting prospect to come out of Canada ever since Edd Stone had that fight with his family, Zak Attack comes from the highly touted Combat Academy. Still in his rookie year and having never won a match, Zak hopes his time in Louisiana breaks this streak and showcases his talents but most importantly, he just hopes to make a friend or two.

 


The Villians!

 


http://i.imgur.com/bPD8187.jpg

 


Ace Wrestler

 


The best professional wrestler walking the planet to date, Ace Wrestler has come to Louisiana in order to work off a debt to the state after several incidents saw precious monuments destroyed, lakes polluted and people offended purely from the sheer talent of the Ace Wrestler.

 


Or so he says.

 


http://i.imgur.com/KgEjACc.jpg

 


Mercutio Mercurial

 


Classing himself as the alpha male, Mercutio likens life in wrestling to a reality show. He’s not here to win the hearts and minds of fans. He just wants their vote in order to win the competition.

 


Mercutio uses this justification to cheat his way through all of his matches, claiming that while the fans are booing, they’ll keep him on the show in order to one day see one of their pathetic heroes defeat him.

 


http://i.imgur.com/iL0j9vn.jpg

 


Mittens

 


The sensitive brother of The Love Cats compared to his more headstrong brother Mr Meow, Mittens comes to the Weird and Wonderful World of Wrestling in order to put an end to a long term grudge with Klukk Kaw and his estranged brother Tabby Furious.

 


He also wants to read his poetry to anyone who will listen.

 


http://i.imgur.com/8oZzEil.jpg

 


Mr Meow

 


The leader of The Love Cats and the biggest pusher of the war between Batter Up and The Love Cats, Mr Meow is manipulative, egotistical and selfish. Always seeing himself as the favoured brother, Mr Meow spent his childhood stealing the spotlight from Mittens and Tabby Furious whilst also wondering why Tabby grew to hate him.

 


Filling Mittens’ head full of lies about Tabby’s behaviour and turning his brothers against each other, Mr Meow sees no reason to stop the war just yet.

 


http://i.imgur.com/5OhzZiA.jpg

 


Regular Joe

 


“I trained under one of the best wrestlers to walk this earth. I spent time learning under a national icon. And I got chewed up and spit out for not having a ‘character’. What happened to learning your craft? What happened to trying to be the best you can be? The world of professional wrestling falsely relies on gimmicks and it needs a Regular Joe to save it.”

 


http://i.imgur.com/4W5vfj9.jpg

 


Shiva

 


Name a martial arts, Shiva has won a tournament in it. No one is quite sure why Shiva has turned to the world of professional wrestling and to be frank, no one has the guts to ask him.

 


Small and full of fire, it’s not known if Shiva has any friends or even enemies. He just has one goal. Kick all living beings into oblivion.

 


http://i.imgur.com/9uRiQr0.jpg

 


Taylor Kidd



The permanent employee of the month at Size Matters Pizza Company's Louisiana branch, Taylor Kidd doesn’t even like his job. It’s just a paycheck to him. A lazy, unmotivated employee who has more complaints filed against him than any other Size Matters employee in history, he is constantly given bonuses and promotions purely because branch manager Abigail Romanov finds him good looking.

 


http://i.imgur.com/d4mTg0X.jpg

 


THE ARCHITECT

 


TRAINED BY SAM KEITH AND RIP CHORD. GIVEN ENLIGHTENMENT BY SEVERAL DEITIES. THE ARCHITECT IS HERE TO GIVE EVERYONE THE BEST SHOW IN THEIR LIVES. HE IS HERE TO ENRICH YOUR LIVES AND GIVE YOU PURPOSE AND MEANING.

 


THE ARCHITECT REQUIRES MONTHLY DONATIONS OF $9.99.

 


http://i.imgur.com/lrvh2c7.jpg

 


The Golden Swirl

 


The mascot of a failed franchise endeavour by Size Matters Pizza Company, The Golden Swirl bears the namesake of the failed franchise as a symbol that even the brightest ideas can fail. Trying to win favour within Size Matters Pizza Company, he is currently the lackey to Taylor Kidd and perennial rival to Wheels McDeals.

 


Staff Members

 


http://i.imgur.com/Fl1ihkL.jpg


Branch Manager Abigail Romanov

 


A former rising star within the Size Matters Pizza Company corporate world, Abigail was knocked down to branch manager after a well documented breakdown at the annual executives bash.

 


Now angered by Size Matters’ insistence on having representatives in the professional wrestling world, Abigail seeks to destroy the Weird and Wonderful World of Professional Wrestling via her latest crush Taylor Kidd and failed expansion idol The Golden Swirl whilst ignoring and bullying junior employees Wheels McDeals and Gianna.

 


http://i.imgur.com/BeCFvwZ.jpg

 


Coach Norman

 


The most confusingly named person in the world of wrestling, Not Actually A Coach Norman is in fact the head referee. Kicked out of Canada for herbatology related crimes, he’s taken up life living in a boat and coming to land once a month to oversee the action.

 


Perplexingly, he’s already best friends with JOJI.

 


http://i.imgur.com/CkCwj5D.jpg

 


Gianna Surname Unknown

 


A New York bred, Louisiana made gal, Gianna is a junior employee at Size Matters Pizza Company. Mortal enemy of Abigail Romanov best friend to Wheels McDeals and current target of Taylor Kidd, she’s got a lot on her plate. Not that she’d notice.

 

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<p></p><div style="text-align:center"><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43455" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div style="text-align:center"><div><span>http://i.imgur.com/r4mCP7O.png</span></div><div style="text-align:center"></div><div><p></p><p> <strong>Weird & Wonderful New Kids on The Block</strong></p><p> </p><p> The Wonderdome opens up its doors for the first time ever and you're all invited! <span style="font-size:8px">For a small nominal fee.</span></p><p> </p><p> Our main showcase for the event sees the trio of Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw and Tabby Furious take on the nefarious pairing of Mr Meow and Mittens and the self styled Regular Joe!</p><p> </p><p> Also on the card, Mount Olympus' favourite son descents to Earth in human wrestler form to take on THE ARCHITECT (He made us put it in shouting).</p><p> </p><p> Also this and so much more!~</p></div></div><div></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Harry and Phonse stood outside the worn down theater also known as The Wonderdome, Phonse showing Harry the advertisement on the website.</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://i.imgur.com/cqOczHZ.jpg</span></p><p> <strong>HARRY CHADWICK</strong></p><p> <span style="font-size:8px">Old fashioned money man</span></p><p> </p><p> "Good job son. Nice touch on the event name."</p><p> </p><p> Phonse stared blankly at Harry. A burning thought in his brain about how Harry didn't pick up on one of the best boybands of the 1990s being the inspiration.</p><p> </p><p> "You okay there son?"</p><p> </p><p> <span>http://i.imgur.com/6DZE8Qn.jpg</span></p><p> <strong>PHONSE LOCKETT</strong></p><p> <span style="font-size:8px">New fashioned idiot</span></p><p> </p><p> "Uh huh, just...uh....just taking it all in! Big first show nerves, you know how it goes."</p><p> </p><p> Harry chuckled at Phonse and wished him good day. Under his breath, Phonse started to sing.</p><p> </p><p> <span style="font-size:8px"><span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS">"</span></span><span style="font-size:8px"><span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:Magenta">Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size:8px"><span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:Magenta"> Oh, oh, oh, oh </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size:8px"><span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:Magenta"> Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size:8px"><span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS"><span style="color:Magenta"> The right stuff</span></span></span><span style="font-size:8px"><span style="font-family:Comic Sans MS">"</span></span></p></div><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43455" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><strong>Weird & Wonderful New Kids on The Block Full Card</strong><p> </p><p> <strong>The Styles Clash!</strong></p><p> Little Dragon vs Shiva vs Taylor Kidd, Employee of The Month vs Zak Attack</p><p> <strong>Fan Comments:</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Sizes Matters: Food Duel of Glorious Benefit for Make Glorious Benefit Advertising Money!</strong></p><p> The Golden Swirl vs Wheels McDeals</p><p> <strong>Fan Comments:</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>The Real World: Noir!</strong></p><p> Mercutio Mercurial vs The Faceless Questioner</p><p> <strong>Fan Comments:</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>The Closest Thing Resembling A Proper Wrestling Match!</strong></p><p> Ace Wrestler vs JOJI</p><p> <strong>Fan Comments:</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Gods & Deities, Oh My!</strong></p><p> THE ARCHITECT vs The Spirit of Zeus</p><p> <strong>Fan Comments:</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Showcase of The Spectacular I</strong></p><p> Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw & Tabby Furious vs Mittens, Mr Meow and Regular Joe</p><p> <strong>Fan Comments:</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p> <strong>Any Non Match Comments:</strong></p></div></blockquote>
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<p>Little Dragon vs <strong>Shiva</strong> vs Taylor Kidd, Employee of The Month vs Zak Attack</p><p>

Fan Comments:Who the hell will have the guts to show up?</p><p> </p><p>

The Golden Swirl vs <strong>Wheels McDeals</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:Wheels on Meals?</p><p> </p><p>

Mercutio Mercurial vs <strong>The Faceless Questioner</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Ace Wrestler vs <strong>JOJI</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:But what if Ace is actually a Club?</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>THE ARCHITECT</strong> vs The Spirit of Zeus</p><p>

Fan Comments:AM I [REDACTED] GOING OVER?</p><p> </p><p>

Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw & <strong>Tabby Furious vs Mittens, Mr Meow and Regular Joe</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Any Non Match Comments:I'm not really hyped, but when are you hiring Tommy Cornell & running every other company out of business & eventually reviving kayfabe?</p>

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<p>Weird & Wonderful New Kids on The Block Full Card</p><p> </p><p>

The Styles Clash!</p><p>

<strong>Little Dragon</strong> vs Shiva vs Taylor Kidd, Employee of The Month vs Zak Attack</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Sizes Matters: Food Duel of Glorious Benefit for Make Glorious Benefit Advertising Money!</p><p>

The Golden Swirl vs <strong>Wheels McDeals</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments: Because he reminds me of Cena for some reason... must be the hat</p><p> </p><p>

The Real World: Noir!</p><p>

<strong>Mercutio Mercurial</strong> vs The Faceless Questioner</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

The Closest Thing Resembling A Proper Wrestling Match!</p><p>

Ace Wrestler vs <strong>JOJI</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Gods & Deities, Oh My!</p><p>

<strong>THE ARCHITECT</strong> vs The Spirit of Zeus</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Showcase of The Spectacular I</p><p>

<strong>Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw & Tabby Furious</strong> vs Mittens, Mr Meow and Regular Joe</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Any Non Match Comments:</p>

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<p>The Styles Clash!</p><p>

Little Dragon vs Shiva vs <strong>Taylor Kidd, Employee of The Month</strong> vs Zak Attack</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Sizes Matters: Food Duel of Glorious Benefit for Make Glorious Benefit Advertising Money!</p><p>

<strong>The Golden Swirl </strong>vs Wheels McDeals</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

The Real World: Noir!</p><p>

Mercutio Mercurial vs <strong>The Faceless Questioner</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

The Closest Thing Resembling A Proper Wrestling Match!</p><p>

Ace Wrestler vs <strong>JOJI</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Gods & Deities, Oh My!</p><p>

<strong>THE ARCHITECT</strong> vs The Spirit of Zeus</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Showcase of The Spectacular I</p><p>

Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw & Tabby Furious vs <strong>Mittens, Mr Meow and Regular Joe</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Any Non Match Comments: How many indents do you use for the roster overview!?!</p>

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<p>Just wanted to come in and say... DON'T POST THE SHOW WITHOUT ME! </p><p> </p><p>

Haven't read it yet but I will later! Gimme a day or two! <img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p>

EDIT: Here we go!</p><p> </p><p>

Weird & Wonderful New Kids on The Block Full Card</p><p> </p><p>

The Styles Clash!</p><p>

Little Dragon vs <strong>Shiva </strong>vs Taylor Kidd, Employee of The Month vs Zak Attack</p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>Random pick </em><img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p>

Sizes Matters: Food Duel of Glorious Benefit for Make Glorious Benefit Advertising Money!</p><p>

<strong>The Golden Swirl</strong> vs Wheels McDeals</p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>I like his mask and I think Wheels should stick to making mcdeals</em></p><p> </p><p>

The Real World: Noir!</p><p>

Mercutio Mercurial vs <strong>The Faceless Questioner</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>I think he's gonna be an early favorite of mine</em></p><p> </p><p>

The Closest Thing Resembling A Proper Wrestling Match!</p><p>

<strong>Ace Wrestler</strong> vs JOJI</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Gods & Deities, Oh My!</p><p>

THE ARCHITECT vs <strong>The Spirit of Zeus</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>Too much SHOUTING, gotta have SoZ shut him up</em></p><p> </p><p>

Showcase of The Spectacular I</p><p>

Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw & Tabby Furious vs <strong>Mittens, Mr Meow and Regular Joe</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>Normally I wouldn't side with someone named "Regular Joe" but if he's anything like the other Joe I've heard of (Samoa), then this'll be a good match. Also, a little heroic adversity never hurts </em><img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p>

Any Non Match Comments: <em>Really excited about the wacky and zany part of the whole thing. Can't wait to see this one get underway!</em></p>

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<p>Weird & Wonderful New Kids on The Block Full Card</p><p> </p><p>

The Styles Clash!</p><p>

Little Dragon vs Shiva vs <strong>Taylor Kidd, Employee of The Month</strong> vs Zak Attack</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Sizes Matters: Food Duel of Glorious Benefit for Make Glorious Benefit Advertising Money!</p><p>

The Golden Swirl vs <strong>Wheels McDeals</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

The Real World: Noir!</p><p>

<strong>Mercutio Mercurial</strong> vs The Faceless Questioner</p><p>

Fan Comments: All good noir stories have our hero get beatdown first</p><p> </p><p>

The Closest Thing Resembling A Proper Wrestling Match!</p><p>

<strong>Ace Wrestler</strong> vs JOJI</p><p>

Fan Comments: How can he lose? He's the best.</p><p> </p><p>

Gods & Deities, Oh My!</p><p>

THE ARCHITECT vs <strong>The Spirit of Zeus</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Showcase of The Spectacular I</p><p>

<strong>Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw & Tabby Furious</strong> vs Mittens, Mr Meow and Regular Joe</p><p>

Fan Comments:</p><p> </p><p>

Any Non Match Comments: You mad geniues</p>

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<p>The Styles Clash!</p><p>

Little Dragon vs Shiva vs <strong>Taylor Kidd, Employee of The Month</strong> vs Zak Attack</p><p>

Fan Comments: He'll cheat his way to victory anyway.</p><p> </p><p>

Sizes Matters: Food Duel of Glorious Benefit for Make Glorious Benefit Advertising Money!</p><p>

The Golden Swirl vs <strong>Wheels McDeals</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments: Wheels McDeals feels like a jobber to me, basically like everyone else on your roster. Screw it, I'm going with Wheels.</p><p> </p><p>

The Real World: Noir!</p><p>

Mercutio Mercurial vs <strong>The Faceless Questioner</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments: He's the more interesting character!</p><p> </p><p>

The Closest Thing Resembling A Proper Wrestling Match!</p><p>

<strong>Ace Wrestler</strong> vs JOJI</p><p>

Fan Comments: I mean, there's no way he'd EVER lose a match, right?</p><p> </p><p>

Gods & Deities, Oh My!</p><p>

<strong>THE ARCHITECT</strong> vs The Spirit of Zeus</p><p>

Fan Comments: JUST BECAUSE HE'S THE SPIRIT OF ZEUS DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN HURL THUNDERBOLTS AND STUFF!</p><p> </p><p>

Showcase of The Spectacular I</p><p>

<strong>Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw & Tabby Furious</strong> vs Mittens, Mr Meow and Regular Joe</p><p>

Fan Comments: Two cats, one Joe? Not gonna work out.</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Any Non Match Comments:</strong> I love a good comedy diary, and you're one of the two guys around (the other one being Voeltzwagon) who have already impressed me with a great sense of humour, so I'm obviously in. Can't wait for all the bullsh*t you're gonna throw at us! The roster is a complete mess and the main character is an idiot. Everything's set up for greatness.</p>

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<p>Weird & Wonderful New Kids on The Block Full Card</p><p> </p><p>

The Styles Clash!</p><p>

Little Dragon vs Shiva vs <strong>Taylor Kidd, Employee of The Month</strong> vs Zak Attack</p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>The month's not even began and he's already Employee of that month?</em></p><p> </p><p>

Sizes Matters: Food Duel of Glorious Benefit for Make Glorious Benefit Advertising Money!</p><p>

The Golden Swirl vs <strong>Wheels McDeals</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>Spin the Helen Wheels, make the Helen McDeals</em></p><p> </p><p>

The Real World: Noir!</p><p>

Mercutio Mercurial vs <strong>The Faceless Questioner</strong></p><p><strong>

</strong>Fan Comments: <em>I question the logic of a faceless person. How does he breathe, for starters. That's what Mercutio will try and find out, and invariably lose.</em></p><p><em>

</em></p><p>

The Closest Thing Resembling A Proper Wrestling Match!</p><p>

<strong>Ace Wrestler</strong> vs JOJI</p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>Do I get to chant CM Punk during this match?</em></p><p> </p><p>

Gods & Deities, Oh My!</p><p>

<strong>THE ARCHITECT</strong> vs The Spirit of Zeus</p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>He may be the Spirit of Zeus, but he's no Maxmillion</em></p><p> </p><p>

Showcase of The Spectacular I</p><p>

Hawkeye Calhoun, Klukk Kaw & Tabby Furious vs <strong>Mittens, Mr Meow and Regular Joe</strong></p><p>

Fan Comments: <em>Kittens FTW</em></p><p> </p><p>

Any Non Match Comments:</p>

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