Wrestlers of Mass Destruction: A Sweet Nice Little Wrestling Show (Cverse)

Pteroid · March 25, 2017

http://i.imgur.com/uNqgQ1T.jpg

Phil Vibert:

"-and welcome back to Vibert's Voice, we're continuing our monthly call-in segment right now and I'm happy to once again welcome on one of our favorite listeners, Marshall from Macon. Marsh, you're on the air."

Marshall from Macon:

"Afternoon, Phil, how's it going?"

Phil:

"Great, Marsh, ringing in the New Year with a couple cans of PBR."

Marsh:

"Heh, what, don't got the stomach for Jack Daniels?"

Phil:

"What can I say, I've gone native out here in Boise."

Marsh:

"Damn shame, Phil, damn shame."

Phil:

"So backing off my drinking habits, what'd you wanna call in about?"

Marsh:

"Phil, how much you know about some old redneck named Giant Redwood?"

Phil:

"Just what I've heard from a few friends and seen from more than a few botch and shoot compilations. Most people say he was a leech sucking on the underbelly of USPW until the new management wised up and cut the cord on him. Any reason you're bringing old Jethro up?"

Marsh:

"In a minute, now tell me what ya know about Sheik Ali Al-Avatar."

Phil:

"Oooookay, well he's a nutjob who wrestled around Europe for most of his career, real garbage deathmatch stuff. Promos don't make a bit of sense but he kept getting work anyway, tried to get him back in DAVE a couple times but he was apparently a flight risk and like hell was I paying some loony from across the pond to take a cruise on my dime just to do what I could pay Derek Barnes to do for a whole lot less. Is there a reason you're taking me on a tour of the lowest of the low, because I got some real good Peter Valentine stories."

Marsh:

"Heh, I'll let you tell those later, Phil, but I'm just gonna let you know,

they're in business."

Phil:

"What? In business?"

Marsh:

"Yup."

Phil:

"As in promoting a wrestling company together?"

Marsh:

"Yessir."

Phil:

"Explain, Marsh."

Marsh:

"Found this flyer on one of the walls on the outside of the local Mickey D's,

organization's called 'Wrestlers Of Mass Destruction'-"

Phil:

"Oh god, that's so damn corny..."

Marsh:

"Oh it gets better, it doesn't have any matches scheduled, it's just pictures of these two dinguses all over with a bunch of random ass adjectives-three misspelled-advertising something called 'Mayhem in Mucksburg' which-if I'm honest-I'm pretty damn close to."

Phil:

"Oh my god, Marsh! Marsh, listen to me, you gotta go to this."

Marsh:

"What? Like hell, I ain't going to Muckburg and I ain't giving this two morons a single cent."

Phil:

"Marsh? Marsh. I will pay your ticket, your gas, and something extra if you go down to Muckburg and see this show!"

Marsh:

"You can't be serious..."

Phil:

"Marsh I need new content, buddy, I think there's room for a report on a veritable port-a-potty of wrestlecrap."

Marsh:

"Hmm..."

Phil:

"And I'll throw in tickets to the Supreme Challenge this year."

Marsh:

"Deal! I'll be back at the end of the month with uh....whatever the hell this is."

Phil:

"You heard it here first, folks, our first ever Indy correspondent, Marshall,

will be back with us in four weeks for our new monthly segment..."

SHOVELING THE WRESTLECRAP

WITH MARSHALL FROM MACON!

Marsh:

"...you really are getting some mileage outta that voice modifier, ain't ya?"

Phil:

"More mileage than an electric car, pal."

Pteroid · March 25, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/oIa0sct.jpg

WRESTLERS OF MASS DESTRUCTION PRESENTS:

MAYHEM IN MUCKBURG

Featuring:

Wrestling Legend Giant Redwood

The Nefarious Sheik Ali Al-Avatar!

And More!

Come Watch Pro Wrestling The Way It Was Meant To Be:

AFFORDABLE

http://i.imgur.com/B5cPdnb.jpg

PREDICTION CONTEST:

So as you can see WMD is being pretty cagey about who exactly is on their roster so we'll be doing something a little different with our first prediction contest...

TRY AND GUESS THE FIVE JABRONIS AVATAR AND REDWOOD CONNED INTO BEING THE ROSTER

The winner of this initial contest will be the recipient of a fabulous prize~

Good luck!</div>

March 25, 2017

Peter Valentine (though he might think he's too big for this), Grunt, Stink, Steel and Anders Thunder

Markw · March 25, 2017

Fearless Blue, Mad Dog Mortimer, Melvin Otto, Mercy Michaels and Vikki Victoria

christmas_ape · March 25, 2017

Al The Hillbilly

Harry Allen

Jack Griffith

Hustler D

Hawkeye Calhoun

Big Roguey · March 25, 2017

Ben Williams

Richie Riggins

Steel

Anders Thunder

A temporally displaced Elmer Kelly from 1996

foolinc · March 25, 2017

Cobra, Jose Flamenco, Mad Dog Mortimer, Steel, The Silencer

Kitarzu · March 26, 2017

"The Emperor Of Jabronis" "Bump Machine" Ben Williams

"Fabulous" Jose Flamenco

"King Of Trash" Mercy Michaels

"The Body" Richie Riggins

"Conditioned" Zachary Inc

Big Roguey · March 26, 2017

The ghost of Chaim Silverman

Pteroid · March 27, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/uNqgQ1T.jpg

Phil Vibert:

"Well ladies and gentlemen it's been a good four weeks since I talked to our good friend, Marshall in Macon and put him on assignment covering the...let's go with charming little promotion, Wrestlers of Mass Destruction. Now, Marsh, are you on the line?"

Marshall From Macon:

"On the line, Phil."

Phil:

"Marshall from Macon folks, live from Georgia! So tell me, Marsh, how was watching WMD's show...what was it called?"

Marsh:

"Mayhem in Mucksburg."

Phil:

"Mayhem in Mucksburg, so, how was it?"

Marsh:

[Papers shuffling]

"Well let's see...oh, my notes just start with the words 'Dumpster Fire' in 72 point font."

Phill:

"So you had a good time, is what you're saying."

Marsh:

"Phil, you know I'm not one of those old curmudgeons that get pissy about ten-punch spots or matches not having time limits anymore, but this was about as much a wrestling show as a donkey show is a rodeo."

Phil:

"Marshall from Macon, folks, earning us that explicit rating."

Marsh:

"Believe me, this show's got every bit of crap I'm gonna throw at it coming."

Phil:

"Well you heard him, ladies and gentlemen, let's get right down into it and take this segment by segment on the first installment of..."

SHOVELING THE WRESTLECRAP

WITH MARSHALL FROM MACON!

Marsh:

"You're gonna blow someone's eardrum out with that someday, y'know?"

Phil:

"Enough beating around the bush, Marsh, we're here for garbage!

Marsh:

"Well our first segment is less garbage and more half-empty beer bottle on the side of the road."

Phil:

"And that means?"

Marsh:

"It means Giant Redwood came out looking like <a href="http://i.imgur.com/Uj39dFF.jpg" rel="external nofollow">this</a> and started cutting a-"

Phil:

"Is he wearing a bandanna with a suit?"

Marsh:

"Yessir."

Phil:

"Christ."

Marsh:

"So he comes out and starts cutting a promo welcoming everyone to the show, as ya do, and it's immediately apparent that he is drunk beyond belief and I mean slurring words, wobbling back and forth, and it was hard to figure out what the hell he was even talking about so...I recorded like the latter half of it."

Phil:

"Oh I gotta hear this."

Marsh:

"Ask and ye shall receive..."

http://i.imgur.com/Uj39dFF.jpg

Redwood:

"Annnnn wuh we're gunna do here...kiiiiiidsh-*hic*-is we're gonna show yash what wrasshlinsh alluhbout, yup! Tonight shishx shertified ashkickersh're gunna wrasshle sho hard...yer little teeny kid brainsh'll explode! But don't...don't ackshully exshplode cuz...then your mommiesh'll shue me and that'sh not good, nope! Nope nope nope! Do NOT ekshplode, ya hear me ya little bratsh!? DON'T! DO! THAT!"

*silence*

"...woooooo!"

*Click*

Marsh:

"And then he just kinda half stumbled his way backstage."

Phil:

"Wow...he really was drunk."

Marsh:

"And so was the booker apparently because it was then time for our opening match: <a href="http://i.imgur.com/yDytQDT.jpg" rel="external nofollow">Anders Thunder</a> versus <a href="http://i.imgur.com/IJr3EV4.jpg" rel="external nofollow">Mad Dog Mortimer</a>!

Phil:

"Hang on, the first match for this company, the match that will go down in the history books as the very first thing your fans ever saw actually take place from bell to bell is...what I would assume is a squash match between a steroid-abusing Swede and a guy who looks like The Minor Annoyance's creepy uncle. I may need a few minutes to process this."

Marsh:

"Will it take about four minutes?"

Phil:

"Probably longer..."

Marsh:

"Hope not, because that's how long this match went. For some reason Thunder was just allowed to use that helmet in the match and headbutted Mad Dog after beating the living bejesus Mad Dog. I THINK Anders was the face but he clearly cheated to win even though he didn't need to..."

Phil:

"How'd the fans react?"

Marsh:

"Kids had no clue what was going on, parents were on their smartphones.

Moooooving on, we had an angle...if you can call what I saw an angle, because the GRAPPLE GOBLIN CAME OUT!"

Phil:

"I'm sorry, the what?"

Marsh:

"This."

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

Phil:

[busts out laughing] "WHAT THE **** IS THAT!?"

Marsh:

"The Grapple Goblin, who introduced himself by running around the ring and shouting 'Grapple Goblin' like a damn pokemon."

Phil:

[still laughing] "Oh my god, that's so creepy looking..."

Marsh:

"He then busied himself by pulling out a burlap sack and tossing a bunch of stuff from the merch table -which consisted of a bunch of bootleg action figures and t-shirts and a bunch of dvd's of old SWF pay-per-views and the ring bell. He then made for the concession stand loudly declaring 'GRAPPLE GOBLIN STEAL POPCORN' before he was stopped by...well, Phil, what kind of gimmick do YOU think would try and stop a Grapple Goblin from stealing popcorn from kids?"

Phil:

"My first thought is a super hero of some kind."

Marsh:

"Nope."

Phil:

"A cop?"

Marsh:

"Nope."

Phil:

"A...fiery white meat babyface?"

Marsh:

"Clown. The answer was a clown."

Phil:

"...did they get Whippy? I know he's on a PPA with DeColt's promotion but-"

Marsh:

"You're close, instead of Whippy the Clown we got..."

http://i.imgur.com/CrUO0er.jpg

Phil:

"Oh christ-"

Marsh:

"Skippy the Clown! So this creep comes out and waylays the other creep and challenges him to a match with the Grapple Goblin's sack of loot on the line, that's our second match."

Phil:

"Skip...why? I know times are tough in Canada, but why would you do this?"

Marsh:

"These two pretty much yukked it up for about ten minutes, lots of comedy spots, mostly centered around them pulling props out of the Goblin's sack and whacking each other with them-why this doesn't cause a DQ is anyone's guess-until the Goblin tried to smack Skippy with a ring bell, Skippy ducked out of the way so Goblin hit the ring ropes and smacked himself with it. Then he hit a Blooperkick and pinned him for the win."

Phil:

"You mean a superkick?"

Marsh:

"Nope, he called it a Blooperkick as he hit it with his great big clown shoes."

Phil:

"Ugh and the shoes too?"

Marsh:

"The shoes too. Ready for the main event?"

Phil:

"The faster we get away from this, the better."

Marsh:

"But first, time for another promo, this time from our esteemed booker <a href="http://i.imgur.com/1QjhrTV.jpg" rel="external nofollow">Sheik Ali Al-Avatar</a>...a ten minute promo from Sheik Ali Al-Avatar."

Phil:

"No."

Marsh:

"Yes. I got hungry mid-way through this and ran out and over to the general store next door to the Mucksburg Baptist church this was going on in-"

Phil:

"Hang on, two things. One, unprofessional, and two this happened in a church?"

Marsh:

"Kinda explains why they put Achmed Al-Jihad in the main heel spot,

huh? Also I was NOT eating popcorn that Giant Redwood bought and that's the ONLY thing they were serving in that place. Anyway I nip out there, buy a moon pie and an RC Cola, and come back and this guy is STILL going. The fans weren't even booing anymore, they were just staring dumbfounded as this loony ranted about destroying all the pigs in America so we couldn't have any more of our infidel bacon."

Phil:

"I...see..."

Marsh:

"So around the time when even the Pastor is wondering how someone could talk for so long with that much absurd fire and brimstone in his voice,

he's mercifully interrupted by <a href="http://i.imgur.com/pmVTnQx.jpg" rel="external nofollow">a weirdo with a baseball bat</a> that's apparently named Hawkeye Calhoun and <a href="http://i.imgur.com/PFpePUw.jpg" rel="external nofollow">some model-looking lady named Gianna</a>."

Phil:

"Think Calhoun works in the undercard for NYCW."

Marsh:

"Well they gave him a hard push here, I'm betting they were expecting a hero's welcome but considering no one in the audience knew who he was they kinda just gave him some applause for cutting off the babbling madman in the ring. Calhoun tried to cut a promo but this Gianna lady just started chanting 'USA' before he got a sentence out and the guy just ran into the ring with his bat and cleared out Sheiky by threatening to hit him with it. And here I blew a gasket because the referee threatened to DISQUALIFY him if he used it in the match!"

Phil:

"But he-"

Marsh:

"Yes, he'd already let it happen twice that night. Main event's easily the longest match of the three and that is NOT a good thing when you got a green rookie and a guy who looks like his plan to get rid of America's pork was by eating it all. Pretty plodding fair, Sheik cuts off comebacks and fireups from Hawkeye for about as long as that damn promo went for with that Gianna lady somehow managing to shout 'USA' in a monotone over and over again. Hey guess what the finish was?"

Phil:

"I assume a foreign object got involved somehow?"

Marsh:

"Ref bump, low blow by Sheiky, who waddles his way outside the ring to grab that bat, gets into the world's least exciting tug-of-war with Gianna before Hawkeye waylaid him from behind-guess he's got balls of steel-and tossed him back in the ring. Hits him with a cutter and boom, clean sweep for the faces on the whole event. Faces stuck around after the show was over to sign autographs while I went outside for a smoke...and that's where I saw Redwood, still drunk as hell, arguing with the preacher."

Phil:

"Oh Christ."

Marsh:

"Fitting, yeah apparently Redwood said the Preacher would ask his whole congregation to come to the show, the Preacher said he'd agreed to no such thing and he didn't appreciate Redwood drinking in his church. Sheiky came over to try and make peace so naturally Redwood started trying to strangle said Preacher. Cops got called, the whole thing turned into a real s***show and long story short, WMD's not allowed to run in Mucksburg anymore."

Phil:

"Is...is Redwood in jail?"

Marsh:

"They paid his bail with company funds, from what I heard. Still, kinda doubt they'll be running many shows with a court date hanging over their heads."

Phil:

"Hmm..."

Marsh:

"Anyway, guess that's the end of this segment, throttled in the cradle as they say, but hey, always happy to contribu-"

Phil:

"They're running a show in February."

Marsh:

"WHAT!?"

Phil:

"Yep, apparently it's called Tussle in Tuckersville? I got their website up right now."

Marsh:

"Aw son of a..."

Phil:

"I'll double what I'm paying ya."

Marsh:

"...fiiiiine."

Phil:

"Marshall from Macon, folks, he'll be back next week for uh-Tussle in Tuckersville, stay tuned!"

Marsh:

"...Grapple Goblin."</div>

Pteroid · March 27, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">PREDICTION CONTEST RESULTS

Kitzaru: 0/5

Literally Everyone Else:1/5

...I did not think this one through.

Ah well, what's better for a trash fire than gasoline:

Everyone tied for First gets to give me one worker they want to see in WMD (nobody above Unknown Level in the US, please)

RUNNER UP PRIZE

Kitzaru, you get...to give me a ridiculous name for one of these tiny towns WMD goes to.</div>

Big Roguey · March 27, 2017

I demand to see the supremely sensual Jazz Funk wow Truckersville with some silky beats.

christmas_ape · March 27, 2017

I shall go for Murderous Mikey please.

Markw · March 27, 2017

WMD needs more Leopard King.

Love the way you're presenting shows by the way, works really nicely.

foolinc · March 27, 2017

Let's see some The Silencer action next month!

March 27, 2017

I'm going to go way outside the box... Davis Wayne Newton.

I think it could be funny to see an actual worker on the roster.

Pteroid · March 27, 2017

DISCLAIMER

WMD reserves the right to utterly ruin your suggestions by putting a ridiculous gimmick on them. Don't believe us? Say hello to the new Davis Wayne Newton, AKA...

http://i.imgur.com/WlzTpjl.jpg

YELLOW BELLY BILLY

(Screams like a Girl)

March 27, 2017

Lol, make sure to protect him in matches! Don't want him overshadowing everyone

foolinc · March 27, 2017

DISCLAIMER
WMD reserves the right to utterly ruin your suggestions by putting a ridiculous gimmick on them. Don't believe us? Say hello to the new Davis Wayne Newton, AKA...

http://i.imgur.com/WlzTpjl.jpg
YELLOW BELLY BILLY
(Screams like a Girl)

You said that like I didn't know exactly what was going to happen.

Kitarzu · March 27, 2017

I can't decide between staying in Climax, Georgia or moving to Arab, Alabama...

Big Roguey · March 27, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Kitarzu" data-cite="Kitarzu" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43470" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I can't decide between staying in Climax, Georgia or moving to Arab, Alabama...</div></blockquote> How about Intercourse, Pennsylvania?

Kitarzu · March 27, 2017

Be careful on the roads around Accident, Maryland.

foolinc · March 27, 2017

If you don't, you could end up in Hell, Michigan.

Pteroid · March 28, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/oIa0sct.jpg

WRESTLERS OF MASS DESTRUCTION PRESENTS:

TUSSLE IN TUCKERSVILLE

Outside The Flying J Truck Stop

Door's Open All The Time As There Are No Doors

Bell Time at 6:00 PM!

MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH

Hawkeye Calhoun and Skippy the Clown vs Sheik Ali Al-Avatar and The Grapple Goblin

Also Featuring:

Leopard King vs Mad Dog Mortimer

Anders Thunder vs Yellow Belly Billy

And

Jazz Funk vs The Canadian Executioner

Tickets Half-Price with a Flying J Customer Loyalty Card!</div>

March 28, 2017

MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH

Hawkeye Calhoun and Skippy the Clown vs Sheik Ali Al-Avatar and The Grapple Goblin

Also Featuring:

Leopard King vs Mad Dog Mortimer

Anders Thunder vs Yellow Belly Billy

And

Jazz Funk vs The Canadian Executioner

Tickets Half-Price with a Flying J Customer Loyalty Card!</div>

Sign In

Wrestlers of Mass Destruction: A Sweet Nice Little Wrestling Show (Cverse)

Recommended Posts

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Guest skinsfan55

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Guest skinsfan55

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Guest skinsfan55

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Guest skinsfan55

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Archived