Wrestlers of Mass Destruction: A Sweet Nice Little Wrestling Show (Cverse)

Chaos Zarak · June 13, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Pteroid" data-cite="Pteroid" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43470" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div> <div style="text-align:center;">http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r496/aaronredwulfstudioswillr0ck/TEW/WOMD_3.jpg WMD PRESENTS: THROWDOWN ON THE FOURTH! @ The Bogsworth Barn Doors open @ 5 PM, Belltime at 7 PM Main Event 4 Way Championship Match (Championship To Be Revealed) Anders Thunder vs Steel vs Pain Train vs The Grapple Goblin Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Finals The Outhousers vs Leopard King and Jazz Funk Silencer and Hawkeye vs The Intolerant Left PLUS GIANT REDWOOD'S BIRTHDAY BASH! As much as it pains me to go against the wrestling GODs like Anders and steel but this has to be won by the greatest star in the world GRAPPLE GOBLIN... Leopard king and Jazz Funk will advance to face... The Intolerant Left who will topple the American duo of Silencer and Hawkeye</div></div></blockquote>

Greylocke · June 14, 2017

Main Event 4 Way Championship Match

(Championship To Be Revealed)

Anders Thunder vs Steel vs Pain Train vs The Grapple Goblin

Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Finals

The Outhousers vs Leopard King and Jazz Funk

Silencer and Hawkeye vs The Intolerant Left

Kitarzu · June 15, 2017

Main Event 4 Way Championship Match

(Championship To Be Revealed) The King In The South!

Anders Thunder vs Steel vs Pain Train vs The Grapple Goblin

The King In The South! The King In The South! The King In The South! The King In The South! The King In The South! The King In The South! The King In The South!

Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Finals

The Outhousers vs Leopard King and Jazz Funk

Silencer and Hawkeye vs The Intolerant Left

I'm picking these two, don't know why!

Pteroid · June 20, 2017

http://i.imgur.com/uNqgQ1T.jpg

Phil:

"And once again we're back, thank you all for listening to Vibert's Voice, this week we are sponsored by NerdLoot.com and their Supreme Loot Month just in time for this years Supreme Challenge: The Wrestling Wonderland...man, SWF's PR department really needs to get on the ball. Anyway with this Loot delivery you'll get a DVD of last year's Supreme Challenge, one of the latest run of 'Supreme Moments' Action Figures, an exclusive t-shirt and much more so subscribe to NerdLoot today! Folks, last month I allowed my old friend John "Nemesis" Campbell time to hype his company's Invincibility VI show, and in the interest of fairplay and equal time to the burgeoning West Coast War, we brought Grimm So-Cal Wrestling's booker CJ Weston and it's color commentator MC Motormouth here to give our fans info on their own promotion. MC, CJ, welcome on the show."

http://i.imgur.com/sYx25d8.jpg

Weston:

"It's a pleasure, Mr. Vibert."

http://i.imgur.com/SbyRYII.jpg

Motormouth:

" 'sup Phil V."

Phil:

"Gentleman, the floor is yours, I ask you to please refrain from any overly inflammatory jabs at the competition."

Motormouth:

"Jabs? Please, my man, that IPW **** so boring they might as well hit they fans with right hook on the button, knock them flat out, they'd get the same reaction."

Weston:

"Yes, well, while IPW is currently the 'larger' of our two promotions-"

Motormouth:

"Cuzza Campbell's fat ass!"

Weston:

"-it's plain for anyone to see that they're very much a sanitized version of hardcore, a far cry from the days of DaVE. I mean really, an Outlaw? A cult leader? Deadly Deadshot? Yeah, when I go to West Coast show, that's what I wanna see, a guy named Deadly Deadshot. Grimm SoCal Wrestling is a vision of what hardcore wrestling could and should be, a place where real men put their bodies on the line in hard-hitting matches. Matches, I should add, you'll be seeing at our upcoming Degeneration show this month."

Motormouth:

"Real G's, you hear the man? Not this fakey fake wannabe bull****."

Phil:

"Welp the uncensored version of this episode's definitely going to get some views. Gentlemen, I understand your points but there are those who'd say you're actually starting to betray that image you've built for yourselves."

Motormouth:

"**** you say, Phil V?"

Weston:

"You're talking about our recent acquisitions from CZCW, aren't you?"

Phil:

"Yes, while I can understand the need to grow your roster, and getting my good friend Mitch Naess as your lead announcer certainly gets you brownie points with me, your current champion is Marvel Malloy, your tag champs are Rich and Famous, and it seems like the only homegrown champion on the roster you current have is Aces High. Now I'd understand if this were part of some form of Invasion storyline but that doesn't seem the case. Furthermore there's been reports that this has you at odds with CZCW owner Cliff Anderson."

Weston:

"Well Mr. Anderson-"

Motormouth:

"Don't own those boys, they can work for whoever they want, and if his triflin' ass wants to come on down to the Warehouse and try to get it on, Brother Grimm'll pimp slap his ass so hard he'll go running back to his f***ing condo, ya feel me?"

Weston:

"He feels you, Motormouth, how about I do all the-"

Marsh:

"Hey Phil!"

Weston:

"What the...?"

Phil:

"Oh damn it, sorry, audio issues trying to make sure my friend Marshall from Macon here is on for his segment later, please continue."

Marsh:

"Phil you ain't gonna belieeeeeve this ****, this **** you only went and made me spend the FOURTH OF JULY at!"

Motormouth:

"You made a brother go watch somethin' on a holiday, Phil V? That's cold, man."

Phil:

"Hey I pay him, and Marsh keep quiet, I'm doing a segment with the GSW people."

Weston:

"Uhhhh...aaaactually, Mr. Vibert, I think perhaps we could listen to what Mr. From Macon has to say for his segment as I...eheh, darndest thing, I went and lost the card I had printed up for Degeneration."

Motormouth:

"What!? C-Jizzle you dumb motha-"

Phil:

"Ok, well then, before my censor bleep button wears out, I guess it's time for...

SHOVELING THE WRESTLECRAP

WITH MARSHALL FROM MACON!

Motormouth:

"WHOA!"

Weston:

[sound of papers flying in the air] "GAH!"

Marsh:

"Yeah, that happens."

Motormouth:

"So homeboy, what's this naysayin' S.O.B got you watchin'? You on the USPW beat. Ain't my thing but the baby mama's got the kids watchin' it, says it'll give 'em morals and ****, like Steve Frehley ain't on a gangsta trip when he ain't on screen."

Marsh:

"No, unfortunately, I am not in fact covering USPW.

Phil:

"Marsh is a one promotion man."

Marsh:

"Not by choice you dick, I'm covering Wrestlers of Mass Destruction."

Motormouth:

"What's that, my man?"

Marsh:

"Giant Redwood's wrestling promotion."

Weston:

"GIANT REDWOOD!? Who let THAT guy open a promotion!?"

Marsh:

"Satan, speaking of which, this show I watched was called 'Throwdown on the Fourth' and boy are we in for a treat, because as usual the show starts with Sheik Ali-Al Avatar and New York Red: The Intolerant Left."

Weston:

"They...go there?"

Marsh:

"Oh Mr. Weston, I have such sights to show you."

Weston:

"I'm gonna focus on finding those papers..."

Motormouth:

"And I'mma roll some kush and listen to homeboy's story."

Marsh:

"Any chance you could mail some of that to Georgia? Might make these shows bearable..."

Motormouth:

"Nah son, I got busted for that once and Grimm told me I gotta be more careful about who I give the bud too, ya feel me?"

Marsh:

"Yeah yeah. Anyway the team that may as well have been called 'The Liberals' come prancing out while pretty much everyone in attendance threatens to lynch them-I wonder why-and for some reason we don't get our usual crazy Sheiky promo which kinda made me sad. Anyway, then out come The Silencer and Hawkeye Calhoun for what feels like the ninety-seventh match between these two teams even though they've both only been around for like three months, and they go in for the usual sloppy as hell tag brawl. I swear to everyone on this call I have seen Calhoun get worked over to draw heat more this year than I've seen my own kids."

Phil:

"Couldn't you take your kids to the show?"

Marsh:

"I could, or I could smack them, the courts would view it as abuse either way."

Motormouth:

"Man you're really overselling this, dog, can't be that bad."

Marsh:

"Both members of the Intolerant Left are over forty years old, both of the other two are under thirty."

Motormouth:

"I'mma need another blunt."

Marsh:

"Damn right, thankfully Silencer gets the win with the Drop Zone and advance in the WMD Tag Team Title Tournament. Didn't know that was a thing? Neither did I until they said so after they won."

Phil:

"So he's got belts made then, huh?"

Marsh:

"Yeah, more on that later, because after one tag match we get another, this time with the Outhousers-Fearless Blue and Mad Dog Mortimer-going up against the nameless team of Leopard King and Jazz Funk. Gee, I wonder which could possibly win this. Spoilers: It's the guys with a team name. Motormouth, have you heard of anyone in this match?"

Motormouth:

"Will in a second, just lemme grab CJ's phone and pull up Wikipedia..."

Marsh:

"Yeah, none of them on there. Mortimer pinned Funk with a roll up somewhere between a shuck and jive or perhaps post-jive but pre-shuck..."

Phil:

"Maybe refrain from saying that around the MC, Marsh?"

Marsh:

"Hey, I'm not the one who told him to do taht, let's all be grateful he wasn't involved in that North vs South travesty last month."

Phil:

"Point taken."

Marsh:

"But now we get...to the main event."

Phil:

"Already? Really?"

Marsh:

"Oh no, not the maaaaain event, but like...the main attraction. It's time...FOR GIANT REDWOOD'S BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY BIRTHDAY BASH!"

Phil:

"Oh my Jesus."

Motormouth:

"That mo'f***a was born on the Fourth?"

Marsh:

"Nope but I'm sure he wants everyone to think that. So uh...yeah. For like thirty minutes we just had a party."

Phil, Motormouth, The Universe In General:

"...WHAT!?"

Marsh:

"No, straight up, all the roster came out, there was cake and booze, Redwood had Gianna on his arm. THIRTY MINUTES just hanging out getting wasted."

Weston:

"Sounds...uneventful."

Marsh:

"Welllll, you'd think that but well, Redwood decided it was a good idea to be the one MC'ing the whole thing. So here's some quick math for you all, Microphone plus Redwood times Booze Squared equals what?"

Weston:

"Hm, well order of operations being what it is, we take booze times booze and-"

Motormouth:

"A hot mess."

Marsh:

"We have a winner. He got on the microphone THREE times and I got all three recorded. Now first time it isn't so bad, because he's mostly sober...

http://i.imgur.com/Uj39dFF.jpg

Redwood:

"Thank alla yew fer comin' out to the first annual Throwdown on the Fourth here in God's favorite little town in all the world, Bogsworth, Georgia!"

[Crowd Cheers]

Redwood:

Now ya'll, ya'll we're here tonight 'cuz of a lotta changes're gonna be happening here tonight. Ya'll just saw the first round of our tag team champyunship tourneyment, but that ain't the half of it! 'cuz tonigh' we're gunna put this town back on the map since th' coal mines closed!"

Someone in the Crowd:

"We ain't had no coal mines here, Jethro!"

Redwood:

"Shaddup, Roscoe, ah says there's coal mines then there's coal mines but there ain't coal mines no more! So ya'll, this here wrasslin' company's gonna put this town back on the map! An how do ah know that, cuz ya'll, ah done BOUGHT the BOGSWORTH BARN!"

[Gasps!]

Redwood:

"An from now on, this here barn's gunna be the HEADQUARTERS of WMD and ALL of our shows're gunna be run here! How's THAT fer bringin' jobs, back, eh?"

Roscoe:

"But Jethro, whole damn town came to see this show, who else is gonna be comin' to Bogsworth?"

Redwood:

"Roscoe, Ah will slap yew so hard, yer mama ain't gunna recognize ya anymore! Now 'course the whole town's here but when people find out about real 'murican rasslin' is back, they're gunna come floodin' inta Bogsworth and give EVERYBODY money ta eat at our diners, sleep at our bed'n breakfasts, an' shop at OUR stores! We'll be rich!"

Roscoe:

"...Jethro, all them things done closed in the 90's while yew were in that there Hollywood comp'ny!"

Redwood:

"THAT'S IT! C'MERE ROSCOE, AHM GUNNA MAKE YA EAT THE TEETH YA GOT LEFT!"

~BZZT~

Marsh:

"And then Redwood assaulted a ninety-year-old."

Motormouth:

"Damn, son..."

Marsh:

"I know, who the hell buys a barn in 2017?"

Weston:

"I believe my colleague was talking about the assault of a geriatric."

Marsh:

"Oh buddy, that's par for course with this a-hole. Anyway, about ten minutes and five bottles of Jack later, here comes Jethro again."

http://i.imgur.com/umPxUfH.jpg

Redwood:

"Ash ah wash shayin' before ah was RUDELY innerupted, we're gettin' changesh aroun' 'ere an' TONIGH'! TONIGH'...we're gunna crown ourselvesh a WMD Wrasslin' Heavyweight...Heavyweight Champion of Wrasslin'! An' Ah ain't just got any belt fer this, nuh uh! Gianna, bring over that belt!"

[several seconds of silence]

Redwood:

"Ah preshent ta yew, the belt that YER WMD Heavweight Champyun's gunna carry:"

http://i.imgur.com/a2ql3O5.jpg

[The crowd...cheers, kind of, they're confused.]

Redwood:

"Yessir, the APWF belt, a real southern rasslin' title!"

Marsh:

"APWF WAS IN NEW YORK YOU DUMB SON OF A B****!"

Redwood:

"WHO SAID THAT!? ROSCOE DID YA'LL COME BACK!?"

Marsh:

[whistling]

Redwood:

"Arright, nobody likes ya, Roscoe. Anywhoooo, Ah got me someone ta present this here belt ta the winner of tonight's title match, when it goes from the APWF to the WMD All American Heavyweight Title! C'mere on up here, Whistler!"

Motormouth:

"HOL' THE F*** UP!"

~Bzzt!~

Marsh:

"Huh?"

Motormouth:

"Whistler? As in old ass New York City Wrestling Whistler? As in wavin' a flag around every other minute Whistler? As in my dad's favorite wrestler Whistler?"

Marsh:

"The same...also how'd you know he brought the flag to the show?"

Motormouth:

"WHAT!?"

~BZZT!~

Redwood:

"Whistlah, great ta see ya again!"

http://i.imgur.com/hjHGYSq.jpg

Whistler:

"Uh...yeah, Jethro, great. Uhm..."

Redwood:

"Got any words for this okashyun?"

Whistler:

"Well for one you told me this was Land Mass' retirement party."

Redwood:

"Ah did? Huh...couldn't a been, probably Roscoe. Poor poor senile probably concuzzed Roscoe."

Whistler:

"Second of all, why'm I the one that's gonna present this thing?"

Redwood:

"Well 'cuz ya held it of course! All the greatest wrasslers of the old-timey times held this here belt!"

Whistler:

"Jethro, the APWF closed in 1979."

Redwood:

"And?"

Whistler:

"I was fifteen in '79."

Redwood:

"...SON OF A-"

~BZZT~!

Marsh:

"So then Redwood cursed up a storm for a further ten minutes before tossing the belt away and storming off."

Phil:

"Bahahahahaha!"

Motormouth:

"Dumbass white boy..."

Phil:

"Oh that man is the gift that keeps on giving."

Marsh:

"And finally, he came back, even drunker than before, for the piece de resistance."

Westson:

"How did the cops not come by this point?"

Marsh:

"I don't think the cops even know Bogsworth exist, it's just a gross little marsh village."

Motormouth:

"Some Hills Have Eyes s*** up in there."

~BZZT~

http://i.imgur.com/2VVtW71.jpg

Redwood:

"Aaaannnn anotha thing! Puh...Puhpee...Petah Valleyteen ya sumbetch...ya were s'pooossssed...s'posed ta be heah tonigh'! Butcha ain't cuz yer a piece'a s***, Petah! A **** **** *** sack of **** in a ****'s ******!"

Marsh:

"FAMILY FRIENDLY!"

Redwood:

"AN ANOTHAH THANG! Petah, yaaaaa...sacko s***! Cashey...Cashey's the s***s and erreyone knowzit! Neffoo mah asssssssss, he's ya baby boy and ya scared ta 'dmit 'cuz he ain't worth nuthin'! Nah...nah now...MAH boy! Mah boy he got raished right! Ain't'cha! C'mon up here, boy! Getcha fat ass on up here!"

Voice:

"Daddy, ya drunk, ah don't think this is a good idea..."

Redwood:

"GIT UP HERE OR AHM GETTIN' THE BELT!"

Voice:

"Yessir!"

http://i.imgur.com/Hmvug9q.jpg

Voice:

"Here, Daddy!"

Redwood:

"Thish here'sh mah boy! Thish here is Jethro J. Jonash Junya! An' he'sh the besht damn shecond gennaration wrashler ever, ya hear!"

Jr.:|

"Daddy, I unload trucks down at the Wally World..."

Redwood:

"NOT ANYMORE YA DON'T! NEXSHT MONTH, ALLA YA ARE GONNA SHEE THE DAY-BYU OF MAH BOY! GIANT REDWOOD JR. AND YA CAN TAKE THAT THERE TO THE BANK! YA HEAR ME, VALLETEEN MAH BOY'S GONNA SHOW YEW, S'WHAT YA GET FER HOGGIN' ALL THE GOOD RATSH...I don' feel so go-"

THUD.

Jr.:

"Uh oh...daddy? Anybody got a forklift?"

~BZZT~

Motormouth:

"Da f***!?"

Marsh:

"Yyyyep."

Weston:

"Who...who had willing intercourse with that man?"

Marsh:

"The 90's were a strange time, Weston."

Phil:

"God, the mental image..."

Motormouth:

"Naw dog, we don't need to be gettin' into tha-"

Phil:

"Like a f***ing elephant seal humping a puppy or something-"

Everyone Not Named Phil:

"AAAAAGGGH!"

Weston:

"What is WRONG with you!?"

Motormouth:

"I need more of this kush just to get that s*** out my head..."

Marsh:

"Welp, I'm officially a cat person. MOVING ON! They shoved the four guys in our All American Heavyweight title match out to cut promos. It went about as well as you'd expect, Thunder shouted, Pain Train talked in circles, Steel said a bunch of stuff about his body, and Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN!

Marsh:

"There it is!"

Phil:

"I was waiting this whole time for that."

Motormouth:

"Heyo I got myself another bud-THE **** IS THAT THING!?"

Marsh:

"Oh that's the Grapple Goblin."

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"He's some schmuck in a cheap halloween mask who prances around, says his name over and over and steals ****."

Motormouth:

"...this ganj was a mistake."

Marsh:

"Yeah so his promo was just his name as he pranced around and stole a bunch of the discarded beer bottles from the birthday party. Then they all got in the ring and the match started. Pain Train started in control, just smashing into everyone with his big fat...everything. Eventually he picked up Grapple Goblin-

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Motormouth:

"God I see that guy in real life, I'd'a popped him one..."

Marsh:

"-and he powerbombed him through the remnants of Redwood's birthday cake."

Weston:

"Pff...he's hardcore, he's hardcore."

Marsh:

"So that put Goblin out of the match for quite a while, but when Pain Train got back into the ring the two roid-y monsters got their hands on him and double teamed him with some of the botchiest offense I've ever seen. It's almost like teaming a guy who could hack it in a developmental league up with a Swede who barely knows english wasn't a good idea. Anyway after the single most dangerous spinebuster/clothesline combo I've ever seen, we have our first elimination, as the Hawaiian is out. From there it was...yeesh, two big uncoordinated lugs just sloppily brawling and restholding each other for what felt like hours. Then they both stumble into the ref and Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"Made his move. Still splattered in cake, he grabbed two of the beer bottles he stole and smashed them over both of the other two's heads."

Phil:

"What!?"

Weston:

"Were...were they gimmicked?"

Motormouth:

"Real truth here, Fro Sure did that to Cali Slick once and guy got a concussion and a ****ton of stitches."

Marsh:

"FAMILY FRIENDLYYYYY~! But yeah, nah, not gimmicked, don't know who gave them that spot but I'd say they should be fired if I didn't already know it was Redwood who probably did it. Anyway, Goblin covered Steel and the ref got back inside to count the pin and eliminate him. Then Goblin went for a follow up on Thunder but shock of shocks, the big man kicks out, leading us to our final two contenders: Thunder. Goblin. THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN! ...so Thunder just scoopslams him, does Redwood's splash which I guess is his finisher now, pins him, and wins."

Phil:

"Jesus..."

Marsh:

"You a fan of the APWF as a kid, Phil?"

Phil:

"Not particularly, no."

Marsh:

"Lemme tell you the name of the last three guys to hold this belt before Anders here."

Phil:

"I'm all ears."

Marsh:

"Crippler Ray Kingman, Marcus McKing, George DeColt. So three luminaries of the wrestling world...and now? The Mother of All Badasses, the Undefeated, the Thunderhead himself, Anders Thunder."

Phil:

"I feel like this is the wrestling equivalent of defiling a corpse..."

Marsh:

"And that's Throwdown on the Fourth, now if you'll all excuse me, I need to go give myself another hangover. Later!"

Phil:

"...so about that card for Degeneration."

Weston:

"Right I...may have lost the card."

Motormouth:

"WESTON YOU DUMB SON OF A-"

Hyde Hill · June 20, 2017

Darnit should have taken into consideration that Redwood is a "straightforward" booker so he would go for a repeat. Still great show. Giant Oak FTW!

MightyDavidson · June 21, 2017

Well as much as I'd like to see the Grapple Goblin as the champion, it seems obvious Jethro Jr's going to take it whether he wants to or not.

Pteroid · June 21, 2017

So we met our new pal, Giant Redwood Jr. and yes, I've made him as a character in-game. Let's have a look at his stats, shall we?

http://i.imgur.com/R8Olcxb.png

That's right, folks, we're Heidenreich'ing this!

MightyDavidson · June 21, 2017

So we met our new pal, Giant Redwood Jr. and yes, I've made him as a character in-game. Let's have a look at his stats, shall we?

http://i.imgur.com/R8Olcxb.png

That's right, folks, we're Heidenreich'ing this!

Not the least bit surprised.

Pteroid · June 21, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/oIa0sct.jpg

WMD PRESENTS:

SUPER SUMMER SLAMMER SERIES!

@The Bogsworth Barn, Belltime at 7PM

Main Event

Tag Team Championship Match

The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom (The Silencer and Hawkeye Calhoun)

Murderous Mikey vs Steel

Pain Train vs Grapple Goblin

SPECIAL ATTRACTION MATCH

WATCH THE CHAMP FACE TWO MEN AT ONCE!

Anders Thunder vs The Technicolor Technicians (Yellow Belly Billy and The Green Machine)

AND THE DEBUT OF A LEGEND IN THE MAKING

THE FUTURE OF PRO WRESTLING

THE JUGGERNAUT OF TOMORROW

GIANT REDWOOD JR. WILL TOTALLY BEAT JAZZ FUNK</div>

Greylocke · June 21, 2017

Main Event

Tag Team Championship Match

The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom (The Silencer and Hawkeye Calhoun)

Murderous Mikey vs Steel

Pain Train vs Grapple Goblin

SPECIAL ATTRACTION MATCH

WATCH THE CHAMP FACE TWO MEN AT ONCE!

Anders Thunder vs The Technicolor Technicians (Yellow Belly Billy and The Green Machine)

AND THE DEBUT OF A LEGEND IN THE MAKING

THE FUTURE OF PRO WRESTLING

THE JUGGERNAUT OF TOMORROW

GIANT REDWOOD JR. WILL TOTALLY BEAT JAZZ FUNK

That last line needs to be emphasized more.

Greylocke · June 21, 2017

Does Jethro Jr have good Babyface stats? He'll totally kill it as Figurehead if he does.

MightyDavidson · June 21, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Greylocke" data-cite="Greylocke" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43470" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Does Jethro Jr have good Babyface stats? He'll totally kill it as Figurehead if he does.</div></blockquote> He's very good on the mike at least, he'd make a good manager. To be fair though with his charisma and star quality if he could manage to improve his physical skills he could actually manage to be a star.

Herrbear · June 21, 2017

Main Event

Tag Team Championship Match

The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom (The Silencer and Hawkeye Calhoun)

Murderous Mikey vs Steel

Pain Train vs Grapple Goblin

SPECIAL ATTRACTION MATCH

WATCH THE CHAMP FACE TWO MEN AT ONCE!

Anders Thunder vs The Technicolor Technicians (Yellow Belly Billy and The Green Machine)

Kitarzu · June 21, 2017

Main Event

Tag Team Championship Match

The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom (The Silencer and Hawkeye Calhoun)

Murderous Mikey vs Steel

Pain Train vs Grapple Goblin

SPECIAL ATTRACTION MATCH

WATCH THE CHAMP FACE TWO MEN AT ONCE!

Anders Thunder vs The Technicolor Technicians (Yellow Belly Billy and The Green Machine)

AND THE DEBUT OF A LEGEND IN THE MAKING

THE FUTURE OF PRO WRESTLING

THE JUGGERNAUT OF TOMORROW

GIANT REDWOOD JR. WILL TOTALLY BEAT JAZZ FUNK ...of course...

Hyde Hill · June 22, 2017

Tag Team Championship Match

The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom (The Silencer and Hawkeye Calhoun)

Murderous Mikey vs Steel

Pain Train vs Grapple Goblin

SPECIAL ATTRACTION MATCH

WATCH THE CHAMP FACE TWO MEN AT ONCE!

Anders Thunder vs The Technicolor Technicians (Yellow Belly Billy and The Green Machine)

AND THE DEBUT OF A LEGEND IN THE MAKING

THE FUTURE OF PRO WRESTLING

THE JUGGERNAUT OF TOMORROW

GIANT REDWOOD JR. WILL TOTALLY BEAT JAZZ FUNK

OAKAMANIA IS RUNNING WILD NEEDLED1CK!

DarK_RaideR · June 22, 2017

I too was waiting for the Grapple Goblin to come up. Also laughed at how Redwood showed up with less and less clothes as the segment progressed.

Greylocke · June 22, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="MightyDavidson" data-cite="MightyDavidson" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43470" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>He's very good on the mike at least, he'd make a good manager. To be fair though with his charisma and star quality if he could manage to improve his physical skills he could actually manage to be a star.</div></blockquote> He's a "Heidenreich", he already has A* physical skills. <img alt=":)" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/smile.png.142cfa0a1cd2925c0463c1d00f499df2.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> It's his performance and in-ring stats that suck. Whenever I attempt the Heidenreich challenge I always give 100 for all the character's face/heel and gimmick stats too, so that I can use him as Figurehead. Of course, I only do that for small local feds, because as long as you pair him up with someone who don't completely suck, he'd actually be adequate in main event matches to improve your popularity.....AND boost your attendance and merchandise sales. <img alt=":D" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> I hope Redwood Jr gets pushed as a successful Figurehead, just so I can hear Marshall ramble about how much he sucks in the ring but inexplicably people still show up to watch him wrestle and buy all his merchandise.

Pteroid · June 22, 2017

I'm sad to announce that something has utterly ruined a booking plan.

It shakes me to my very core to announce...

With the retirement of Pete the Hillbilly, the dream match of The Hillbillies vs The Nation of Filth will never happen <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Greylocke · June 23, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Pteroid" data-cite="Pteroid" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43470" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I'm sad to announce that something has utterly ruined a booking plan. It shakes me to my very core to announce... With the retirement of Pete the Hillbilly, the dream match of The Hillbillies vs The Nation of Filth will never happen <img alt=":(" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></div></blockquote> Just retired? Not Out of the Business? Surely that doesn't stop you from hiring him for one more Dream Match? (In fact wouldn't he be cheaper than an active wrestler?) He can still wrestle as a Personality! Do it!

Pteroid · June 25, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/uNqgQ1T.jpg

Phil:

"And welcome back to Vibert's voice, folks. This week's show is brought to you by The Piledriver School of Wrestling, Where Stars Are Made, sign up today for an exclusive series of workshops by new head trainer, Stuart Ferdinand. Learn the secrets that made him a star in the land of the rising sun and maybe follow in his footsteps along the way. Alright, folks, after last month's little debacle with MC Motormouth and CJ Weston, I'm happy to announce that SOMEONE got the correct time to show up."

Marshall:

"Y'know you wouldn't have to worry about that if you just stopped paying me to go to these shows."

Phil:

"Never."

Marsh:

"Worth a try."

Phil:

"Any spoilers for your review this month?"

Marsh:

"Giant Redwood Jr.'s a nice guy."

Phil:

"Really?"

Marsh:

"And his dad may be actively trying to murder the people who go to his shows."

Phil:

"Well then, there's no further need to delay with THAT on the table. Ladies and gentlemen it's time for:

SHOVELING THE WRESTLECRAP

WITH MARSHALL FROM MACON!

Marsh:

"Alright folks, so first of all Redwood made good on his word that he owns that damn barn now. Big place all things considered, guess it used to belong to some kind of horse racing dynasty or something? I'm vague on the details but it's about as big as your usual Indy Venue. Speaking of the 'ole fat jackass, he opened the show managing his son and the two cut a little promo before the kid's match."

Phil:

"Interesting, how was Jr. on the mic?"

Marsh:

"Can't tell ya because his dad didn't let him talk. It was all just Redwood slobbering on the mic before Jazz danced on out to the ring and the match started. Well...I say match, it was more along the lines of Jazz Funk selling and doing sloppy punches while Jr. just stood there. I uh...I don't think Jr. actually has any wrestling training. Eventually Jazz 'Hit' the Free Form Flow on Jr. and Redwood got up on the ropes to distract the ref. Jazz went over to hit him but Jr. got him with a roll up...by which I mean he completely missed rolling Jazz up, Jazz fell on his back long after he was supposed to and Jr. just covered him. Shameful match, absolutely shameful."

Phil:

"So where in this did you get that Jr.'s an alright guy?"

Marsh:

"I'm gettin' there. So after the match, Jr. and Redwood start putting the boots to Jazz, totally out of sync by the way, it was friggin' ridiculous. For a father and son team they have absolutely no chemistry because Redwood just wants to be a top heel again while getting someone else to do all his ring work for him, but that doesn't work when the guy in the ring is his son who hasn't wrestled a day in his life! This went on until Captain Underpants-I mean Leopard King came out and ran them out of the ring, challenging Jr. to a match where he'll, quote: "Show you how bad a Leopard's Claws can scratch a tree!" So get ready for that riveting match for the ages. Anyway after King and Jazz limped off, Redwood berated his son and made him sit in the front row to 'See how it's done' which at this show is just hilarious."

Phil:

"And I'm guessing he ended up sitting next to you?"

Marsh:

"Yup, asked if I had any paper or a pen he could take notes with. Just so happened I did since Bogsworth gets no cell reception, though his notes basically consisted of 'Do that thing, don't do that thing, only do this thing when that thing doesn't work'. I'm like ninety percent sure he didn't go to school, but he's not a bad guy, kept asking me for the names of moves and said thank you every time."

Phil:

"How very boy scout."

Marsh:

"So yeah, I got a man on the inside now, didn't think that was going to happen but then again I thought this company was over the time Redwood got arrested for beating up a preacher. AND NOW WE COME TO THE PART WHERE I'M CONVINCED REDWOOD TRIED TO KILL US!"

Phil:

"Oh goody, tell us all about it."

Marsh:

"So a month after winning the belt, Thunder is in the second match on the card against two masked jabronies. One is the our pal Yellow Belly Billy, the other is...well, he introduced...well he...he's called Green Machine."

Phil:

"You seem flustered."

Marsh:

"Phil, it's not often that I'm going to be THIS negative about a guy's skills but...okay, y'know what?"

Phil:

"What? For the love of god, tell us, Marsh!"

Marsh:

"I'm going to ask that the listeners of this podcast that may be going through a bad time to just...skip ahead two minutes? Three to be safe."

Phil:

"Marsh I don't-"

Marsh:

"I'm going to play for you, the first two minutes of the promo Green Machine cut before his team's match with Anders Thunder."

-BZZT-

http://i.imgur.com/1LLcTYE.jpg

Green Machine:

"Uhm uh uhm uhhh uhm tonight we-no, we are tonight-uhm...Thunders Ander-no. Anders Thunder tonight you are the Technicolor Technicians-no wait WE are the T-technicians uhm...y'know something there two of us and one of you and at the end of the day me and Bellow Yelly Billy-no Yellow Belly Billy. Anders Thunder? You and your Thunderheads may think that you're gonna win but...but you're not because we're gonna win and when we win we're gonna be the winners because we won, right? ...right."

-BZZT-

Phil:

"I..."

Marsh:

"PHIL KEEP AWAY FROM ANY SHARP OBJECTS!"

Phil:

"Marsh...why?"

Marsh:

"I just saw this chump about to cut a promo and decided to record it. I had to sit there for FIVE MINUTES listening to this guy drone on. It was then that Green Machine's mask fell away, and I recognized him for what he was. Not a man, not by any stretch of the imagination, no, he was a creature spewed out onto this earth by a hateful god. I stared him in his lifeless doll-like eyes and I knew...Redwood, that madman, that...monster, he had done that which no sensible promoter had ever done before: He had given Ron Greenhorn a microphone."

Phil:

"What about Jr.? Did he make it out okay?"

Marsh:

"He was just scribbling down notes, I asked him if he could go get me a popcorn midway through, gave him five bucks, then when he was gone tore the page out of his notebook and tossed it. I couldn't let the virus spread."

Phil:

"You did god's work, Marsh."

Marsh:

"So yeah, then Thunder just smashed these two poor schmucks in two minutes and held up his belt...apparently this was a title match? Don't know don't care, the further in time we get away from that promo the better. Let's see, what's next...oh yeah, Jr. asked me why I was in Bogsworth, I told him a horrible monster was paying me to watch his dad's show."

Phil:

"Hurtful...but accurate. Don't think this might be blowing your cover a bit?"

Marsh:

"Eh, I told him I do it on the internet, he said he only recently got a smartphone and his dad's house still has a rotary one so I think we're safe as far as him finding us goes."

Phil:

"Can you imagine?"

Marsh:

"I shudder to think, anyway next match was Pain Train taking on Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"Ah, can't believe how much of a stress reliever that became. Anyway Goblin and Pain Train ran a pretty standard comedy match, Goblin being devious with Pain Train just powering through. I guess a great big Hawaiian who's bad at promos is a worth enough replacement for a literal clown. Finish comes with a standard feet on the ropes spot from Goblin and according to the announcer afterwards, he's now the #1 Contender to the All American Title. Makes about as much sense as anything else...Grapple Goblin.

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"Just needed my fix, what next...oh right, Murderous Mikey vs Steel. Sweet mother of god, P-L-O-D-D-I-N-G, with the added bonus of the announcer just tacking on a stipulation at the start that if Mikey Lost, he'd have to retire. GEE, CAN YA GUESS WHO WON THIS? The hot new talent that was in a title match just last month or the disgraced ex-monster heel and dumb muscle for a joke of a heel stable?"

Phil:

"Considering the booking so far? I would've taken that bet."

Marsh:

"Well ya lost, Steel hit a garbage neckbreaker on old Mikey and he was out the door to like three people singing the nah-nah-nah-nah hey hey hey goodbye song. Oh hey, we're at the main event..."

Phil:

"Jesus, Marsh, pace yourself, I'm not paying you to speed-review these damn shows."

Marsh:

"Sorry, my notes were a bit wonky after Green Machine's promo, thinking of getting a CAT Scan to make sure I didn't end up with some kind of brain damage. Anywho, title match time! Guess what, they sprang to get someone else's belts this time too."

Phil:

"Oh goody, who is it this time?"

Marsh:

"They brought out Leo Davis to apathy, and he showed of the former TWL Tag Team Championships, they are now the WMD Deep South Championships."

Phil:

"Texas isn't the Deep South!"

Marsh:

"I don't think Papa Redwood cares."

Phil:

"Ugh..."

Marsh:

"Outhousers came out first, got a pretty heel reaction for a couple of hillbilly jerks, but I guess people don't really like looking into a mirror of themselves, now THIS next bit got a real pop. For no discernable reason Fortunate Son by CCR just started playing and Dixie Freedom comes out with Gianna all decked out in camo with airsoft guns, just shooting into the barn roof all the way to the ring. Fans were going nuts for this, though I guess there are more guns in this town than people, swear I saw a toddler packing a Smith and Wesson when I drove into town that day. So there I am sitting next to Jr. thinking 'Well this is a slam dunk, two over babyfaces vs a glorified job team', I can just pack up and head home early. Frankly I just stayed at that point to give Jr. some pointers but then, what I felt was midway through the match, something nuts happened."

Phil:

"Oh?"

Marsh:

"Because out come The Intolerant Left after losing last month, with a chair and a RAILROAD SPIKE and just start laying waste to both teams. Mad Dog took a chair shot, then Silencer took a chair shot, then Hawkeye got jabbed in the eye with the spike. Gianna's screaming at this point, best acting we've gotten out of her in forever, and Fearless Blue tries to intervene and Sheiky throws a FIREBALL IN HIS FACE. The ****ing retirement home's cleaning house and my jaw is on the floor. Leo Davis tried to get in the ring and he took some absue from the spike too. By the end of this everyone except The Intolerant Left are laying, Silencer's all messed up, Hawkeye's make has been half ripped off his face, Mad Dog's out cold, and Fearless Blue's literally calling for his mama-and not like funny, ****ing screaming for her-while Gianna's run to the back to get help. And that's when Red grabbed the mic and I recorded it for you here:"

http://i.imgur.com/NeDlGzk.jpg

Red:

"ALL OF YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN INBRED REGRESSIVE MOUTHS OR YOU'LL GET WHAT THESE FIVE GOT!"

[Crowd boos, loud ones]

Red:

"We have suffered a lot of humiliations in this podunk redneck hellhole of a promotions but tonight was the last straw! Thanks to mentally impaired scumbags like Giant Redwood, a good man was taken from the ranks of The Foreigners!"

Marsh:

"Oh s***, I forgot that was a thing!"

Red:

"Murderous Mikey as you all called him-it's pronounced Muhr-daerus, by the way, you labelers!-has been forced out of WMD through no fault of his own thanks to the targeted harassment of that no-good Giant Redwood and all of his boosters!"

Jr.:

"Wait, ah thought daddy was supposed to be a bad guy like me, why're these guys angry at him?"

Marsh:

"Best not to question it."

Red:

"Well two can play the thievery game, and as you can see, we got something of yours now: The WMD Deep South Titles! We should've been champions all along so we're just taking what's ours by right of being the only moral people in this Republican ****hole! Get ready, WMD, get ready America, because starting tonight, The Intolerant Left is going Guerilla, Scorched Earth Baby! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sheik:

"Death to America! Death to WMD! Hacktooey!"

~BZZT~

Phil:

"...damn."

Marsh:

"Like I said, some crazy crap went down. Eventually the locker room cleared out-faces and heels I might add-and chased them off. I am scared to say-mostly because holy hell this angle's lowbrow as you can get-but they kinda got me excited for the next show."

Phil:

"No shame in admitting you enjoy junk food, Marsh. Does that do it? What about Jr.?"

Marsh:

"Oh his dad yanked him away as soon as The Intolerant Left was ran off, seems like he was going to look over the notes Jr. took. Pray for that kid, he's got a long hard road ahead of him."

Phil:

"Well folks that's our show for this week, stay tuned for next month when Marsh here will be covering uh...know the name of their next show, Marsh?"

Marsh:

"Fall Free For All, Phil."

Phil:

"You heard him, see you all next month."</div>

Herrbear · June 25, 2017

Great show.

Greylocke · June 25, 2017

Redwood Jr and Green Machine need to form a team. Machine can do all the talking while Redwood Jr does all the wrestling. A match made in heaven!

DarK_RaideR · June 26, 2017

he had done that which no sensible promoter had ever done before: He had given Ron Greenhorn a microphone

:eek::eek::eek:

NoobzUnite · June 27, 2017

I need Redwood Jr in my life!!! Hand 'em over <img alt="

" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" />

Pteroid · June 27, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/oIa0sct.jpg

WMD PRESENTS:

FALL FREE FOR ALL

@The Bogsworth Barn, Belltime at 7PM

Main Event

All American Championship Match

Tag Team Title

Three Team Elimination Match

The Intolerant Left (c?) vs The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom

Giant Redwood Jr. vs Leopard King

Jazz Funk vs Green Machine

Pain Train vs Yellow Belly Billy</div>

Sign In

Wrestlers of Mass Destruction: A Sweet Nice Little Wrestling Show (Cverse)

Recommended Posts

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Archived