Wrestlers of Mass Destruction: A Sweet Nice Little Wrestling Show (Cverse)

MightyDavidson · June 27, 2017

All American Championship Match

I think Grapple Goblin wins here, as Jethro will likely want to push Jr. to the top as quickly as possible. Goblin gets to be a transitional champ.

Tag Team Title

Three Man Elimination Match

Operation Dixie Freedom are Jethro's boys, so I'd presume they're taking this.

Giant Redwood Jr is obviously going over Leopard King, whether he wants to or not.

Jazz Funk beats the green jobber.

Pain Train beats the yellow jobber.

Chaos Zarak · June 27, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Pteroid" data-cite="Pteroid" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43470" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r496/aaronredwulfstudioswillr0ck/TEW/WOMD_3.jpg WMD PRESENTS: FALL FREE FOR ALL @The Bogsworth Barn, Belltime at 7PM Main Event All American Championship Match Anders Thunder © vs The Grapple Goblin Tag Team Title Three Team Elimination Match The Intolerant Left (c?) vs The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom Giant Redwood Jr. vs Leopard King Jazz Funk vs Green Machine Pain Train vs Yellow Belly Billy</div></div></blockquote> the undefeated wrestling god Anders Thunder will over come the greatest gimmick in the universe... GRAPPLE GOBLIN... However we need to keep Anders undefeated ready for his eventually showdown with Redwood Jr... After how the last show ended, the hottest act in WMD, the Intolerant Left need to walk away with the belts... However the Outhousers need to be the ones pinned so that Operation Dixie Freedom can continue the fued... Let's not kid ourselves... Short of leopard kings tights ripping causing Redwood Jr to die of shock and disgust, Jr will be walking out with the win here... Jazz Funk will beat the green machine... Unless the machine gets hold of a microphone... Then no one wins and we have a barn of dead people... And the Pain Train rolls over yellow belly Billy... What more can be said about this match... Other than making train puns... But this match needs to lead to the eventual dueling promo between the green machine and the pain train...

Hyde Hill · June 27, 2017

All American Championship Match

Anders Thunder © vs The Grapple Goblin

Tag Team Title

Three Team Elimination Match

The Intolerant Left (c?) vs The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom

Giant Redwood Jr. vs Leopard King

Jazz Funk vs Green Machine

Pain Train vs Yellow Belly Billy

DarK_RaideR · June 27, 2017

Anders Thunder © vs The Grapple Goblin

Much as I want to see the best darn gimmick in modern wrestling go over, it makes more sense for Anders to dominate and end the show with Goblin stealing the belt in his sack

The Intolerant Left (c?) vs The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom

Precisely what Chaos Zarak said. Plus with a face champion in Anders Thunder, it makes sense to have heel tag champs

Giant Redwood Jr. vs Leopard King

Why doesn't Leopard King have the Bronco Buster and Stinkface in his moveset already?

Jazz Funk vs Green Machine

Dear God please not another Green Machine promo

Pain Train vs Yellow Belly Billy

My prediction? Pain

Kitarzu · June 27, 2017

All American Championship Match

Anders Thunder © vs The Grapple Goblin

Tag Team Title

Three Team Elimination Match

The Intolerant Left (c?) vs The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom

Giant Redwood Jr. vs Leopard King

Jazz Funk vs Green Machine

Pain Train vs Yellow Belly Billy

Greylocke · June 29, 2017

Where Machines are Green, Redwood wins too

Free Fall for All, for me and for you

And I think to myself:

What a wonderful world!

Main Event

All American Championship Match

Anders Thunder © vs The Grapple Goblin

Tag Team Title

Three Team Elimination Match

The Intolerant Left (c?) vs The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom

Giant Redwood Jr. vs Leopard King

Jazz Funk vs Green Machine

Pain Train vs Yellow Belly Billy

King Bison · June 29, 2017

WMD PRESENTS:

FALL FREE FOR ALL

@The Bogsworth Barn, Belltime at 7PM

Main Event

All American Championship Match

Anders Thunder © vs The Grapple Goblin

Might be wrong on this due to shenanigans lol

Tag Team Title

Three Team Elimination Match

The Intolerant Left (c?) vs The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom

I can see them taking this one

Giant Redwood Jr. vs Leopard King

Let's go Jr! Secondary prediction, this is an awful match lol

Jazz Funk vs Green Machine

Because it's a fun name to chant

Pain Train vs Yellow Belly Billy

This just makes sense to me

Herrbear · June 29, 2017

Main Event

All American Championship Match

Anders Thunder © vs The Grapple Goblin

Tag Team Title

Three Team Elimination Match

The Intolerant Left (c?) vs The Outhousers vs Operation Dixie Freedom

Giant Redwood Jr. vs Leopard King

Jazz Funk vs Green Machine

Pain Train vs Yellow Belly Billy

Pteroid · June 29, 2017

Hey kids, who's ready for something special?

A RETCON!

Nothing exactly groundbreaking, but thanks to King Bison I've got new looks for two of our primary characters going forward:

http://i.imgur.com/3ouRLRp.jpg

Giant Redwood

http://i.imgur.com/k9TFbbY.jpg

Giant Redwood Jr.

Bit more of a family resemblance now, huh?

I'd also like to thank Bison in advance for creating a custom render for a character you'll be meeting soon who will change the face of WMD as we know it...and boy is that face Jowly...

King Bison · June 30, 2017

Glad you like the renders. Wouldn't have turned out so well if your characters weren't so full of life, since that's where all my inspiration came from

Greylocke · June 30, 2017

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Pteroid" data-cite="Pteroid" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="43470" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i.imgur.com/3ouRLRp.jpg Giant Redwood http://i.imgur.com/k9TFbbY.jpg Giant Redwood Jr. Bit more of a family resemblance now, huh?</div></blockquote> But...but....are they really supposed to resemble each other? Redwood Jr has 100 Sex Appeal! He should look sexier! <img alt=":(" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> (Ok, just kidding. Nicely done.)

Pteroid · June 30, 2017

Bit of house cleaning everyone, I noticed that the photobucket image links got taken down because Photobucket is a bucket of sh-er, stuff, so I uploaded the logo to imgur and everything should be pristine once more aside from when the match cards have been quoted.

Pteroid · July 2, 2017

http://i.imgur.com/uNqgQ1T.jpg

Phil Vibert:

"Ladies and Gentlemen welcome back to Vibert's Voice, what you just heard was my candid interview with Atom Smasher about leaving the SWF along with former partner Jungle Jack, his resurgence as a primary face in both CZCW and the Confederation of the Territories, and what the future holds for the former Captain Atomic. Stay tuned for later this month when I'll be speaking with Alicia Strong about her own decision to leave USPW and what the future holds for the second-generation Strong. On a similar note we have with us the man who's Strong enough to go Nuclear each month on our fine show, the one and only Marshall from Macon, Marsh are ya there?"

Marshall:

"You bet, Phil."

Phil:

"Marsh I'm gonna say what everyone after that last show's been thinking: Are the Intolerant Left the WMD Tag Team Champions?"

Marsh:

"Well now Phil, you gotta wait to get to that hot storyline development, we got a whole undercard to get through, at least one of which wasn't a squash match. Speaking of not being in a squash match, I caught up with Jr. before the show, apparently his dad's been training him between shows...unfortunately his dad's Giant 'I'll Bump When I'm Dead' Redwood so the progress is choppy at best. Talking to the kid I kinda had to reveal that I review the shows on a podcast, and then I had to tell him what a podcast actually is...thankfully I didn't have to explain what the internet is because he already knew it as 'That thing where all the nerds daddy hates are'. For some reason he also said the shows are gonna be on the internet soon which I dunno how that's gonna work, Redwood probably ate the last guy who tried to code monkey for him..."

Phil:

"So with the stage set it's time for...

SHOVELING THE WRESTLECRAP

WITH MARSHALL FROM MACON!

Marsh:

"So the show got off to a fast start and by fast start I mean we had about two matches happen in the span of like fifteen minutes. Pain Train beat the ever-loving crap out of Yellow Belly Billy before getting the pin on him, then Green Machine came out, mic-which we will now call 'The Implement of Torture' whenever he's got it-but thankfully my new favorite wrestler Pain Train ran up there and clotheslined him. Pop. Of. The. Niiiiiiiight."

Phil:

"Well a man who's as magic on the mic as Pain Train would naturally take exception to Green Machine's...stylings."

Marsh:

"It's cute that you think anything about Greenhorn is stylish, he defies style, he is anti-style, he is the stylepocalypse."

Phil:

"So you're not a fan."

Marsh:

"...Jazz Funk pinned him after a short match after that."

Phil:

"Right, so with that extended preamble out of the way, what was the real meat of the show like?"

Marsh:

"I'm glad you asked as we're treated to an honest to god promo from the lucha equivalent of a pudgy Chippendale's dancer: Leopard King. He comes out and reuses that 'Leopard Claws on a Tree' line from last month and cuts a rambling promo about clear cutting the entire Redwood line which I guess means he's going to hunt down Granpappy Redwood in the nursing home and give him a good beatdown too."

Phil:

"Can you imagine what Redwood's father is like?"

Marsh:

"Well if his son's anything to go on, perhaps bastardry skips a generation and he's a sweet old guy...either that or a hose salesman during the civil rights movement. Anyway no promo from Redwood-for now at least-and we start the match. Wait, I'm sorry, not a match, an extended Benny Hill style chase sequence as Leopard King chases poor Jr.'s ass all over the place in between beatdown spots and no-selling interference from Redwood which for some reason does get Jr. dq'd."

Phil:

"Well is it really intereference if it doesn't hurt?"

Marsh:

"Yes."

Phil:

"...yeah, you're right."

Marsh:

"So Leppy beats the ever loving crap out of Jr. here, just stiffing the bejesus out of him because by now I assume the entire lockerroom knows he doesn't know how to sell so Leppy took it upon himself to MAKE him do it. Leopard starts biting Jr. at one point, no idea why, I don't know who spat in one of his many many many many twinkies but he seemed out to make Jr. pay the dues his Daddy was deadset on skipping the bill on. Either that or he wanted to reeeeally make sure he looked good before the finish came."

Phil:

"The finish here being?"

Marsh:

"Oh Redwood yacking at the referee for a distraction while the Outhousers came down to hit a daaaaaaaaaangerous looking spike piledriver on Leppy then dragged Jr.'s ass on top of him for the pin."

Phil:

"Uh...wow."

Marsh:

"I know, right, it's like, how'n in the hell is Jr. gonna learn a damn thing if all his matches are just getting beat up with a screwjob finish?"

Phil:

"Well that too, but was Leopard okay?"

Marsh:

"Huh? Oh yeah, somehow. Anywho after that Redwood got on the mic and casually let it slip he was going to have The Intolerant Left be forced to give their titles back but since The Outhousers and Operation Dixie Freedom wanted to kick the crap out of them so bad, he decided to make the three-way tag match instead. Furthermore for services rendered, he decided to make the match No-DQ so both the Outhousers and ODF could really give it to 'That damn hippy and the terrorist'. He thanks the Outhousers for their help tonight and gifts them both chairs to just have for the tag title match and ran off with Jr. in tow. Now we get to our semi-main as The Outhousers get joined in the ring by Silencer and Hawkeye-who brandished his baseball bat and told Gianna to stay in the back for fear of her getting menaced by the Left."

Phil:

"I assume that just tore you up inside."

Marsh:

"Her Oscar-worthy acting was definitely missed. The Left's music played-which was 'The Times Are A-Changin' ' By Bob Dylan for some reason-and kept playing while everyone was waiting in the ring for them...until they came out from the crowd and started waylayin' them, tossing Hawkeye and Blue out of the ring and starting a brawl with Silencer and Mad Dog. I was finding myself amazed at how strong these two old farts are getting booked when I suddenly remembered ONE OF THEM'S THE BOOKER. So things here turn into a garbage brawl pretty quickly, especially with the no dq stipulation tacked on, and I was more than a little confused about why suddenly in the middle of all of this The Outhousers and ODF were going after each other two but when you got six guys all going at it in a match where I'd say the one with the biggest grasp of psychology is the guy who sees attacking people with a railroad spike and fireballs as a light romp and I figure it isn't going to exactly hold itself together like gorilla glue."

Phil:

"So if that last match was a Benny Hill chase, this was-what-one of those little cartoon fighting clouds?"

Marsh:

"More or less, now here's something I didn't see coming, mostly because he'd rolled out of the ring on the side opposite of mine, but Leopard King got his act back together and rolled into the ring with one of the Outhousers' chairs and smashed Mad Dog over the head which allowed Sheiky to splash and pin him for the first elimination. Leopard King then found himself getting offered a handshake by Red, which he responded to by biting it-always biting with him-until he got tossed out by Sheiky and brawled with Mad Dog and Blue to the back."

Phil:

"That's a weird turn of events, I guess they wanted him to screw over the Outhousers and still come across as a face for helping the Left?"

Marsh:

"That's what I figured, and that leaves the Left to face Operation Dixie Freedom for what feels like the umpteenth time. Damn feud's like Strongamania, it won't die no matter how much we all wish it would. So things get even wilder here as now there's actually a chance for some kind of psychology to kick in and that psychology is Hawkeye and The Silencer beating the everloving piss out of two old men for about six more minutes."

Phil:

"I assume Red and Sheik's selling was the stuff of legends."

Marsh:

"Sure, right up there with Gianna's acting and the mic skills of Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"Ha, joke's on you, Phil, I wanted to see him. Yeah, so this keeps going on until Silencer brings a table into the ring while the crowd's going nuts, he tells Hawkeye to scale to the top rope as Red gets laid on it. I'm trying to figure out if they're really giving the Left a one and done title reign when THIS GUY comes out of the crowd:"

http://i.imgur.com/D22eqtH.jpg

Phil:

"Who's that?"

Marsh:

"Well I didn't know at the time, but he ran into the ring and grabbed Hawkeye's bat and just smashed Silencer with it, sent him stumbling right out of the ring. Hawkeye's trying to figure out what's going on when the new guy just slugged him and sent him crashing through the table after Red got out of the way. From there Sheiky splashed him and got the pin as the crowd tossed garbage in the ring. After the match, Red got on the mic again and cut a promo which I will play for you now:

http://i.imgur.com/NeDlGzk.jpg

Red:

"Shyyyyyyyyaddup!"

[boooooos]

Red:

"I said shaddup before I have my new friend do to you what he did to these two! I told you, I told you all that the Intolerant Left were gonna wage a guerilla war and tonight was another victory because we brought in a Super Soldier! Look at this man, a man from the mean streets, a man with the rage of generations of oppression bubbling up in his belly, a man-oh yes, Raheem, yes, here's uh, here's your two hundred, of course thank you Raheem-A MAN OF CONVICTION! A man who popped the bubble of your so-called American Dream, he's 'WOKE' as the kids say-"

Marsh:

"OH **** OFF!"

Red:

"-and that makes him see the REAL American Dream, and that's why he IS the Real American Dream, I give you RAHEEEEEM STAAAAASH!"

[boooooos]

Raheem:

"..."

Red:

"And this is only the beginning, you degenerates, soon you'll see this Red State turn Blue because we're gonna STRANGLE IT INTO SUBMISSION!"

Sheik:

"DEATH TO AMERICA! DEATH TO WMD! HAAAAACK-TOOEY!"

~BZZT~

Marsh:

"And yeah, that was it."

Phil:

"I uh...I don't even."

Marsh:

"Stash is a pretty big dude, though, real imposing like. Kinda like the hired tough angle, makes him more of his own entity but I'm really wondering where this angle's going, is it just gonna be an excuse to bring in more cheap heat gimmicks?"

Phil:

"Most likely if I'm honest, but moving on from there what did we have next?"

Marsh:

"Last segment before the main event, a promo by our champion, Anders Thunder."

Phil:

"And did you record i-"

Marsh:

"Do you even need to ask? I only asked that you don't interrupt with Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"-every time he says it."

Phil:

"You have my word."

Marsh:

"Alright, heeeeere's Anders!"

~BZZT~

http://i.imgur.com/k6mJA26.jpg

Anders Thunder:

"GYREPPLE GYOBLYIN! YOU COME INTO THE THUNDERZONE IN THE THUNDERBARN TONYIGHT AND TONYIGHT ANDERS THYUNDER TYELLS YOU A STORY! IT IS STORY OF YOUR COUSIN, THE TROLL IN THYUNDER'S HOMELAND OF SWEDEN! ONCE UPON TIME THERE WAS TROLL, THEN MIGHTY THOR KILL HIM! TONYIGHT, GYREPPLE GYOBLYIN, I AM THOR, YOU ARE TROLL! YOU WILL FEEEEEEL THE THYUNDERRRRRRR!!!"

~BZZT~

Phil:

"A regular poet laureate that one."

Marsh:

"I would pay...every dime I own to get him to have a conversation with The Force."

Phil:

"So how did the Goblin respond to this heinous diatribe?"

Marsh:

"Well he came out and smacked Thunder with his sack of course! His burlap sack, I mean, I'm not bein' crude here. Thunder spent the first little bit of this match selling which went about as well as you can imagine, he even still had the belt on his waist as Goblin just clubbed on him like a five year old play-fighting with his dad. Turning point came when Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"-tried to pry the belt off itself and Anders kinda-not so much hit him with it as shoved it in his face and made him take a bump. Thunder gets control here and does what he does best: Basic slams and clotheslines followed by milking the audience for a reaction. Again. And Again. And Again. However, Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"-is not without his fair share of tricks and after scoopslam thirty-seven or so, he rolled out of the ring and menaced some kid at ringside, stealing her sucker and trying to stuff it in his bag. Naturally Anders tried to stop him only to get sucker punched by something Goblin had hidden in his bag: A can of hairspray. Hell if I know where he got it but it gave him the advantage to slam Anders on the hard unforgiving...well, dirt, of the Bogsworth Barn. He then threw Anders into the ring and looked to be setting up for something big and it occurred to me I have no clue what the Goblin's finisher actually is, so I was stoked to find out...only for him to get a seated splash countered and receive a splash from Anders to get pinned. And so the mystery continues. Now luckily I got a bigger waiting period between this show and the next, wanna know why?"

Phil:

"It's on Halloween?"

Marsh:

"How'd you guess?"

Phil:

"Seems the kinda hokey thing Redwood would go in for, well Marsh if that's all do you have any final words for us?"

Marsh:

"Keep searching for the Grapple Goblin's finisher, everyone, the truth is out there."

Phil:

"And that'll about do it for this month's edition of Shoveling the Wrestlecrap, and this episode of Vibert's Voice. Thank you all for listening and remember: Raheem Stash will beat your ass for two hundred bucks."

Pteroid · July 2, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/oIa0sct.jpg

WMD PRESENTS:

HALLOWEEN SPOOK-A-PALOOZA

@The Bogsworth Barn, Belltime at 7PM, Trunk or Treat at 5PM, Horror Movie Marathon after the show!

MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

The Intolerant Left © vs High Octane (Anders Thunder and Steel)

GOBLIN'S GROTTO MATCH

IF GRAPPLE GOBLIN LOSES, HE HAS TO GIVE EVERY CHILD HALLOWEEN CANDY

Grapple Goblin vs Pain Train

HARDCORE MATCH

The Silencer vs Raheem Stash

LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH

Green Machine vs Yellow Belly Billy

SIX MAN TAG MATCH

Giant Redwood Jr. and The Outhousers vs Leopard King, Jazz Funk, and A Mystery Partner!</div>

Hyde Hill · July 2, 2017

MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

The Intolerant Left © vs High Octane (Anders Thunder and Steel)

GOBLIN'S GROTTO MATCH

IF GRAPPLE GOBLIN LOSES, HE HAS TO GIVE EVERY CHILD HALLOWEEN CANDY

Grapple Goblin vs Pain Train

HARDCORE MATCH

The Silencer vs Raheem Stash

LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH

Green Machine vs Yellow Belly Billy

SIX MAN TAG MATCH

Giant Redwood Jr. and The Outhousers vs Leopard King, Jazz Funk, and A Mystery Partner!

Pteroid · July 2, 2017

Guys I think I broke the Cverse...

http://i.imgur.com/vSQB6gN.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/OSO3F27.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/VxzG2BX.jpg

What a screwy month this has been...

Chaos Zarak · July 3, 2017

MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

The Intolerant Left © vs High Octane (Anders Thunder and Steel)

With the addition of Raheem Stash to the Left I feel he will play a part in this match cost high Octane, however steel will take the fall as Anders can not be beaten...

GOBLIN'S GROTTO MATCH

IF GRAPPLE GOBLIN LOSES, HE HAS TO GIVE EVERY CHILD HALLOWEEN CANDY

Grapple Goblin vs Pain Train

The pain train will roll into Bogsworth and get derailed by the grapple goblin as I don't see redwood splashing out for candy...

HARDCORE MATCH

The Silencer vs Raheem Stash

The Silencer will defeat the lefts muscle but will get destroyed after the match by the whole group...

LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH

Green Machine vs Yellow Belly Billy

Green is the newest jobber so he goes over? Hardest match to call this show

SIX MAN TAG MATCH

Giant Redwood Jr. and The Outhousers vs Leopard King, Jazz Funk, and A Mystery Partner!

Don't think it matters who the partner will be as there is no way Jr is going to lose in his dads company...

Greylocke · July 3, 2017

MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

The Intolerant Left © vs High Octane (Anders Thunder and Steel)

If anyone deserves to be a double-champion (other than GRAPPLE GOBLIN of course), it's Anders Thunder

GOBLIN'S GROTTO MATCH

IF GRAPPLE GOBLIN LOSES, HE HAS TO GIVE EVERY CHILD HALLOWEEN CANDY

Grapple Goblin vs Pain Train

Pain Train needs to DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS for depriving us of another awesome Green Machine promo. It's an unpardonable offense, and he needs to be jobbed out to the entire roster. (Except for the Yellow-bellied freak, he deserves nothing).

HARDCORE MATCH

The Silencer vs Raheem Stash

The better wrestler wins, easy.

LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH

Green Machine vs Yellow Belly Billy

Why is this match even on the card? Nobody wants to see these to try wrestle (emphasis on try since YBB can't wrestle for ****). People want to hear Green Machine TALK, dammit! The only way this match can be good is if it ends with Machine tying YBB to a chair, put a headset over his ears, and force YBB to listen to him talk for half and hour (minimum) until he bleeds from every single orifice of his body.

SIX MAN TAG MATCH

Giant Redwood Jr. and The Outhousers vs Leopard King, Jazz Funk, and A Mystery Partner!

Toughest match to call, but no matter how awesome the Mystery guy might be he can't possibly surpass Redwood Jr......although one of his partners might get pinned.

Pteroid · July 5, 2017

Ok everyone, minor crisis, I think a recent Windows update ****ed with TEW because now it says my license is expired. Has anyone had this problem, I'm away from the internet so I can't see if reentering my license brings it back.

UPDATE: I figured out the issue, apparently the update meant the e-license just had to connect to the internet to validate itself or something. We're good now, show on the way soon.

Kitarzu · July 6, 2017

MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

The Intolerant Left © vs High Octane (Anders Thunder and Steel)

GOBLIN'S GROTTO MATCH

IF GRAPPLE GOBLIN LOSES, HE HAS TO GIVE EVERY CHILD HALLOWEEN CANDY

Grapple Goblin vs Pain Train

HARDCORE MATCH

The Silencer vs Raheem Stash

LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH

Green Machine vs Yellow Belly Billy

SIX MAN TAG MATCH

Giant Redwood Jr. and The Outhousers vs Leopard King, Jazz Funk, and A Mystery Partner!

Pteroid · July 6, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/uNqgQ1T.jpg

Phil Vibert:

"You're listening to Vibert's Voice with me, Phil Vibert, and folks...it's been an eventful month, let me tell you. A steroid scandal, some unexpected hires, and a romance I did not see coming between Ana Garcia and Remo-"

Marsh:

"Y'know were I classless man, I'd ask if she liked it Alpha Doggystyle."

Phil:

"One, you better hope Richardson doesn't hear about that otherwise you'd be picking your teeth up, two, we've been over interrupting me before I introduce you, Marsh!"

Marsh:

"Sorry, that one's been percolating since I heard about it."

Phil:

"Folks we got Marshall from Macon here with us, as always about to review our favorite special little pro wrestling show, Wrestlers of Mass Destruction but for once we've actually got a news item on them, Marsh."

Marsh:

"Ugggh...I think I know what it is..."

Phil:

"Folks, you might remember Giant Redwood Jr. telling Marsh here about WMD expanding into the world of the internet, boggling the minds of everyone and terrifying some about the possibility of Papa Redwood finding out about their scathing twitter posts about him."

Marsh:

"I've already started Doomsday-prepping my house..."

Phil:

"Well maybe WMD's new sponsor would be helpful with that, Marsh."

Marsh:

"I would sooner die, Phil."

Phil:

"Folks we have confirmation on that sponsor and uh...it's a doozy. Let's just play the audio, you'll be able to see the video on our show notes this week but...let's get into it.

~BZZT~

"It's Fact Fighters, with Joe Alexander..."

http://i.imgur.com/2zMADyI.jpg

Joe Alexander:

"Professional wrestling, once upon a time it was as American as pre-GMO Apple Pie, a man could be a man on Pro Wrestling, he could stand for something. Now? Now it's nothing but a show for FOR CUCKOLDS. AND FREAKS. Remember the 90's? Remember when wrestling wasn't afraid to show dominance of a man like Sam Strong? A man like Christian Faith-though that name's a sacrilege and he's gonna burn in hell-gave a limp-wristed **** like Mr. Supreme a piledriver on the outside and nobody would bat an eyelash. Wrestling had its finger on the pulse back in those days, it knew about the satanists that secretly infected this great nation with their evil, HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT TRAMP KAREN KILLER!? EH!? EHHH!?"

~BZZT~

Phil:

"Uh, we had to pause, here folks."

Marsh:

"The F*** is he TALKING ABOUT!?"

Phil:

"I don't know, let me just fast forward to the important part. I'm sorry folks, and Karen, I know you listen to the show, I think he's a prick too."

~BZZT~

Alexander:

[seemingly chewing something] "-thish chilif'f duhlifus." [GULP, burp] "Where was I? Oh right, now you got that scumbag, Allen Packer, who rejected US from Reverie because he's scared of the truth, because he's in with the cabal, he's in with the Dunton Hall's and the J.K. Stalling's of the world who wanna CORRUPT your children with their cancerous way of thinking! But y'know what? Fact Fighters doesn't need them, we have our network of dedicated patriots across this great nation that know about the crisis actors, who know about the deep state, and about the New World Order, and all of them have bought enough of my Alexander Brand Vitality Pills that we can start our own network here on the internet! And what better way to stick it to that no good beta bastard Packer than to fight fire with fire, so I went out and I found a real American running a real American wrestling show! Allow me to introduce to you all, JETHRO "GIANT REDWOOD" JONAS!"

http://i.imgur.com/3ouRLRp.jpg

Giant Redwood:

"Happy ta be here, John."

Alexander:

"Joe, Joe Alexander. We spoke on the phone."

Giant Redwood:

"Aw goddamn it, knew ah shouldn't'a used the rotary to talk to yew. Yew know they got cordless ones now? What Ah wouldn't give to have one of them sumbitches..."

Alexander:

"Mr. Jonas-"

Redwood:

"Call me Redwood, Jack."

Alexander:

"It's Joe! Redwood, your wrestling show, Wrestlers of Mass Destruction, is gonna be the flagship show on the Fact Fighters network behind my own show and Filo Krampalopolous' 'Inconvenient Facts', how's that make you feel, pretty great, right?"

Redwood:

"Well hell, son, it's about time Ah was back on the boobtube! Y'know Ah quit USPW, right? Too much politics, but now I'mma be on TV again!"

Alexander:

"Actually our service is completely on the internet."

Redwood:

"F***'s an internet?"

-BZZT-

Marsh:

"There are no words."

Phil:

"You heard it here first, folks, WMD is on the net...unfortunately I don't know anyone who actually wants to give that s*** hole website of Alexander's traffic so I think we're dealing with a zero sum game here."

Marsh:

"This better not bring that prick's fans to these shows, I am outta there if I gotta listen to some tubby basement dweller talk about how some girl not dating him is somehow a genocide."

Phil:

"You say that like any of them want to go to Bogsworth."

Marsh:

"Eh, true."

Phil:

"Now with this debacle out of the way, shall we get to the show itself?"

Marsh:

"You're lucky the ex had the kids for Halloween or we'd be having words, believe you me."

Phil:

"On that disconcerting note, its time for:

SHOVELING THE WRESTLECRAP

WITH MARSHALL FROM MACON

Marsh:

"Hello Redwood, my old friend, I've come to your dumb barn again, with your stupid way of booking, the listeners are still looking, for the finisher, of Goblin."

Phil:

"Damn, Marsh, write that yourself?"

Marsh:

"I decided to channel my pain into something constructive."

Phil:

"Isn't this show constru-?"

Marsh:

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Phil:

"Harsh...but fair."

Marsh:

"I got to the Spook-A-Palooza just as their Trunk or Treat was winding down-for those of you who don't know that's where people take their cars to a parking lot and give kids candy they've got in the trunks-unfortunately this is Bogsworth so there's like five people with cars so there was very little candy to be had. Once everyone settled into the barn, we got the night started with...well, a pretty bizarre start, let it never be said that WMD settles for just big untalented lugs or weird political stuff, tonight what brought them to the dance ruled the day: Bats*** insane nonsense."

Phil:

"Well don't leave me in suspense, Marsh, what happened?"

Marsh:

"Out to start the night comes Leopard King with a promo, and sadly I only went and left my damn phone in the car so I couldn't get it until they had an intermission later-for reasons I will get to-but I'll try and summarize. For some reason they've decided to add some flair to Leopard King by making him talk like Tarzan...if Tarzan was from Guadalajara. Anyway he manages to get across that he took Jazz out into the wilds of Georgia to find a partner to face a Jr. and the Outhousers and he came back with a monster that will run wild on their opponents...THE MIGHTY SKUNK APE!"

Phil:

"A...skunk ape?"

Marsh:

"A skunk ape."

Phil:

"Marsh run me through this what's a skunk ape?"

Marsh:

"This."

http://i.imgur.com/yt2lPbF.jpg

Phil:

"WHAT THE!?"

Marsh:

"Yyyyep!"

Phil:

"But that's...ok, but what IS a Skunk Ape!?"

Marsh:

"It's...okay, it's bigfoot but for the South."

Phil:

"BIGFOOT ISN'T A BEAR!"

Marsh:

"This isn't a bear...it's a guy with a big dumb bear mascot head on. I can't remember when I laughed this hard at something, just this big guy lumbering around trying to wrestle and make sure it doesn't fall off at the same time. Speaking of which, the match was just as ridiculous as you'd expect, pretty much Skunkape running wild on the Outhousers while Jr. hides on the outside. Only time the heels got any offense in was when Jazz was in the ring, where they just kinda worked him over until Leopard King got a hot tag, beat the crap out of them, then tagged in Skunk Ape for the coup de grace, a big Avalanche in the corner on Fearless Blue after Jr. tagged him in and ran off with his dad. Faces get the win for the crowd while I'm doubled over laughing as Skunkape tried to keep his mascot head balanced while Jazz and King raised his hands."

Phil:

"Shame on you for not bringing Shane along to see that-actually, no that's a good thing, he probably would've died from lack of oxygen."

Marsh:

"So this is Jr.'s first loss of his career and Papa Redwood's hopping mad, while the Outhousers limp to the back he disappears and drags out the Technicolor Technicians to berate them being losers and Green Machine for being boring. He tells them both that they're going to have a match next and the loser will be fired from the company. The crowd...do not know what the hell to think about this because it's two heels, two jobbers, and a stipulation that just happened-also seriously how many Loser Leaves Town esque stipulations have we HAD? I think it's just what Redwood does to people who ask for a pay raise or something."

Phil:

"So...who won?"

Marsh:

"The antichrist-I mean, Green Machine. Roll up with the tights, WMD's premiere jobber is sent packing, leaving Green Machine to be horrifyingly boring. Then again I'm sure Billy's got better prospects somewhere else so it's all good in the end for him at least. Then we come to the...hardcore portion of the evening..."

Phil:

"Oh?"

Marsh:

"The Silencer versus Raheem Stash in a hardcore match...at this family friendly show. Y'know the last time they had a hardcore match and it was just a bunch of doofuses bonking each other with silly objects?"

Phil:

"I recollect."

Marsh:

"This match was not that. There was blood EVERYWHERE. First of all, Gianna and Hawkeye weren't there, apparently Hawkeye's selling that table bump...for two months...and Gianna's there for moral support, which hurt the morale of the crowd because they wanted to see Gianna's ass-probably because it's the only one for miles they aren't all technically related to. Secondly, I don't know who did it, but someone told these two to go all out and I'm betting my bottom dollar whoever told them that immediately regretted it because good god did these two beat the ever loving hell out of each other. We're talking chair shots-uprotected, to the head-, we're talking table bumps, we're talking a shot with a BOTTLE at one point. In fact that last bit was the finish of the match, Stash smashed Silencer with a beer bottle so hard the damn thing shattered and then hit him with this big standing powerslam onto a pile of folding chairs for the pin."

Phil:

"So the intermission was to-"

Marsh:

"Clean up the blood. And the mess. And the blood on the mess."

Phil:

"Family friendly."

Marsh:

"Faaaamily friendly. So using this opportunity I managed to get my phone out of the car and come back in time to find Jr. over by the concessions. I pumped him for some info on next month's event and so far I know it'll be called Turkey Day Takedown -thankfully it's not ON Thanksgiving- and the main event will be a multi-man match for the All American title."

Phil:

"Ace reporting as always."

Marsh:

"I try. So coming back from intermission we got treated to a promo from High Octane, Anders Thunder and Steel...and I can't not think that's not a reference to being on the gas. Anyway, I got it recorded here:

-BZZT-

http://i.imgur.com/k6mJA26.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/SWxF5xi.jpg

Thunder:

"IYNTOLLARANT LYEFT! TONYIGHT YOU ENTER THE THYUNDERDOME! ANDERS THYUNDER AND THE STEEL ARE LYIKE THE MYAD MYAX, WE ARE HYIGH UCKTANE AND WYE WYILL RYUN OVAH YUUUUUUU!"

Steel:

"Man I'm pretty. [sounds of Flexing] I'm sorry what were we doing? Oh yeah, America, Ronald Reagan, Build the Wall, check out my peeeeeeecs~"

-BZZT-

Phil:

"What a couple of Yankee Doodle Dandies they are."

Marsh:

"To be fair, they were nice pecs. Moving on from that we had-oh good god, this again-it's time for the second ever Goblin's Grotto match. Now to remind new listeners a Goblin's Grotto match is two idiots fumbling over each other in a kiddy pool full of mud in the middle of the ring. Last time we had Canadian wrestler Skip Beau as a clown as the opponent of the Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"-and this time we have...Pain Train. So who do you think would perform better in this kind of match? A young talent who's worked alongside the DeColt family or...a great big fat Hawaiian guy?"

Phil:

"Sounds like a toss up."

Marsh:

"This match came with the stipulation that if Goblin won, he'd have to give all the kids in the audience candy. Unfortunately for the kids, he took it upon himself to snatch all their candy before the match, declaring-and do the thing after the sentence is done this time, Phil- 'GRAPPLE GOBLIN ONLY LIKE BLACK LICORICE!'-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"Thaaank you. So with Goblin threatening to toss all the non-gross candy into the Grotto, out came Pain Train to save the day and the match. These two rolled around in mud like a couple of doofuses for a while until Goblin got splashed and pin because I'm pretty sure Redwood would've gotten sued over stealing people's candy. But that wasn't the end as Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"-had to give the kids candy...that is until he whacked Pain Train with his burlap sack and tried to make a run for it but he was stopped by an unlikely savior:"

http://i.imgur.com/yt2lPbF.jpg

THE MIGHTY SKUNKAPE

Phil:

"The ****ing bear again!?"

Marsh:

"Yyyyep! He came out and beat up Grapple Goblin-"

http://i.imgur.com/S7E95jc.jpg

GRAPPLE GOBLIN

Marsh:

"-until he was forced to give the candy back. Frankly the sight of a flabby little man in a halloween mask being forced to give candy to kids by two very large men-one of which wearing a bear's head-may have been the funniest thing I've seen in my life so this was segment of the night to me. When this was over, we got what's becoming a staple of these shows: The Intolerant Left cutting promo, which I will play now."

~BZZT~

http://i.imgur.com/NeDlGzk.jpg

NEW YORK RED:

[Amid tons of boos]

"Typical just typical, all of you regressive scumbags in Bogsworth are nothing new, not in this imperialist hellhole you call America! But these past few months the Sheik and I have fired the first shots in the New American Revolution, we have been building our Army, and before this year is out we will be victorious! Raheem is in the back, nursing his wounds from his silencing of the Silencer, but we won't need him to retain our belts tonight because we have a deal for our opponents: Anders Thunder, you're a native of Sweden, a shining beacon, a Mecca of Tolerance in the European Union, I'm asking you tonight to join with us in brotherhood...and maybe give your title belt to our associate here as payment, of course."

-BZZT-

Marsh:

"It was here that Thunder and Steel came 'running'-read: Lightly jogging-out and cleared house, beating on Red and Sheiky with clubbing blows and shoddy slams. I know I said last month that Sheiky likes to protect himself but there was none of that here, because Steel and Thunder wrecked these two for a good ten minutes, near falls abounding that were never kicked out of, only broken up. Finally the Left just RUN THE HELL AWAY, clutching their belts and losing by count out for the BS ending that saw the faces standing tall but without the tag belts. All in all I had fun, though the horror movie marathon started off with Manos: The Hands of Fate so I decided it was time to head out for the night."

Phil:

"Shame on you, Marsh, that movie is a classic...though I'm not surprised to see it playing at this show. Folks, that's the end of today's show, next month Marsh will be back for another addition of our Shoveling the Wrestlecrap reviewing Turkey Day Takedown. If you want to follow along-and I don't recommend you do this really, but if you really really want to-apparently WMD is now on demand on the Fact Fighters Network. I'm Phil Vibert and this has been Vibert's Voice."</div>

Pteroid · July 6, 2017

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/oIa0sct.jpg

WMD PRESENTS:

TURKEY DAY TAKEDOWN

@The Bogsworth Barn, Belltime at 7PM

THREE WAY ALL AMERICAN TITLE MATCH

Grapple Goblin vs The Mighty Skunkape

SPECIAL STIPULATION MATCHES

OPERATION DIXIE FREEDOM MUST WIN BOTH MATCHES

TO CHALLENGE FOR THE BELTS IN DECEMBER

Hawkeye Calhoun vs Sheik Ali Al-Avatar

The Silencer vs New York Red

TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH

The Outhousers vs Leopard King and Jazz Funk</div>

Greylocke · July 7, 2017

Man, I've always been a huge supporter of WMD, but I'm starting to think Redwood and Sheik are losing their touch. <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/frown.png.e6b571745a30fe6a6f2e918994141a47.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> Seriously, that was the worst WMD show since the company started:

1) Anders Thunder not becoming double-champion.

2) Grapple Goblin getting jobbed out AGAIN (and not even to the World Champion this time!).

3) Redwood Jr's undefeated streak broken in a random throwaway tag match. Think of how much money you could have made down the road if you'd kept it going over 2 decades like the Undertaker's Mania streak!

4) Green Machine getting no mic time!

The only good thing to come out of this show is that we're finally rid of that Yellow-bellied scum so that he can no longer stink up the ring and drag down the ratings. WMD needs to do better than that. Granted, it's still 10x better than the crap we're getting from USPW or TCW (SWF usually, too, but occasionally, that show was saved by the Almighty presence of Big Smack Scott), but WMD has the potential to be soooo much better.

Hopefully, that was just Sheik and Redwood having an "off" day in their booking.

THREE WAY ALL AMERICAN TITLE MATCH

Thunder already has one less title than he deserves, so it'd be a travesty if he loses this too.

Grapple Goblin vs The Mighty Skunkape

If GG loses we riot!

SPECIAL STIPULATION MATCHES

OPERATION DIXIE FREEDOM MUST WIN BOTH MATCHES

TO CHALLENGE FOR THE BELTS IN DECEMBER

Hawkeye Calhoun vs Sheik Ali Al-Avatar

The Silencer vs New York Red

I guess the Dixies should win here so they can job later in the actual title math.

TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH

The Outhousers vs Leopard King and Jazz Funk

Hyde Hill · July 7, 2017

THREE WAY ALL AMERICAN TITLE MATCH

Grapple Goblin vs The Mighty Skunkape

SPECIAL STIPULATION MATCHES

OPERATION DIXIE FREEDOM MUST WIN BOTH MATCHES

TO CHALLENGE FOR THE BELTS IN DECEMBER

Hawkeye Calhoun vs Sheik Ali Al-Avatar

The Silencer vs New York Red

TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH

The Outhousers vs Leopard King and Jazz Funk

No redwood Jr on the show? Anyhoo any change we could know which wrestlers are actually behind some of the masks etc? I know we know some like green machine en yellow belly. But some of the others I have no idea.

Kitarzu · July 8, 2017

THREE WAY ALL AMERICAN TITLE MATCH

Grapple Goblin vs The Mighty Skunkape

SPECIAL STIPULATION MATCHES

OPERATION DIXIE FREEDOM MUST WIN BOTH MATCHES

TO CHALLENGE FOR THE BELTS IN DECEMBER

Hawkeye Calhoun vs Sheik Ali Al-Avatar

The Silencer vs New York Red

TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH

The Outhousers vs Leopard King and Jazz Funk

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Wrestlers of Mass Destruction: A Sweet Nice Little Wrestling Show (Cverse)

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