ZEN Worldwide!

GilmourGuy · July 2, 2017

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A dark basement room, somewhere in Wellington, New Zealand. Seven shadowy figures sit at eight spots, dramatically illuminated by matching tablets in front of them. One of them appears to be sleeping. The figure at the head of the table - oddly wearing a hood as well - stands.

"I'm going to call this meeting to order. We can't wait for Flea any longer... why does he even have a space at the table?"

"It is his parents' house."

"Whatever. Someone wake up Paul. Let's get started." He taps his tablet a few times. "Financial report. Cy?"

Another figure stands. "Thank you, Frankie. As you all know, we've spent the last month putting the Kickstarter money to good use." He taps his tablet, causing a projection screen on the wall to light up with a diagram of a pie chart. "As you can see, 25% went to paying off debts and loans. 20% went towards reopening the Dojo, albeit on the cheap."

"Who's training there?" asks another board member. Before anyone can answer, he holds up a plate. "Also, does anyone want a muffin? Freshly baked."

"Paul's in charge," the hooded figure answers. "At least, he will be. Between naps."

"Did you keep your receipts for this?" Cy asks, motioning to the circulating plate of muffins. He taps his tablet again, adding a very thin wedge on the chart that reads 'Baking Related Expenses.' He motions to a blue wedge. "This narrow wedge - 5% - represents the amount of money we have invested. Mostly in lottery tickets."

"What's that huge green wedge then?"

"The money we spent on these awesome tablets." Cy holds his up. "Aw shit. It froze."

“Shake it!”

“Jiggle the cord!”

"Press ALT CTRL DELETE."

"It's a tablet!"

"Wait!" the hooded figure stands again. "Are we broke? Again?"

All of a sudden, the lights come on, flooding the room with light and causing all the occupants to cry out and shield their eyes. The 'conference table' they sit around is actually an old card table, covered with a large 'ZEN ART OF WRESTLING' logo. The board members are all recognizable as core members of the promotion, mostly because they are wearing their colourful ring gear. Devilfish, Super Zero, Cyanide, Shaolin, Sparky Sparks, Classey Paul Massey, and, of course, Halloween Knight himself.

"Ah, dudes. Sorry. I didn't know you were here." The newcomer is a skinny guy with blue hair. "I had to run back here to get my phone."

"I thought you wanted to be part of this committee, Flea," Devilfish says, pointing a finger. Beside him, Shaolin nods emphatically.

"Yeah, I just forgot we were having a meeting, because my schedule's actually on my phone and I forgot my phone. Crazy, right?"

"It's really not," Knight says. Shaolin shakes his head emphatically.

"Look, we can continue with the meeting, but I just have to make a really important phone call first. Oks?" Without waiting for an answer, he plugs a number into his phone. Oddly enough, Cyanide's phone begins to ring.

Cyanide looks up from where he's fiddling with his frozen tablet, the fancy pie chart on the wall replaced by the fabled 'BlueScreen of Death'. He puts down the tablet and pulls out his phone. With a long look at Blue Flea, Cyanide answers tentatively. "Hello?"

"Yo, Cyanide, bro! Good news, dude! We won the freaking lottery!"

Everyone in the room cheers, loud enough to cause Paul Massey to snort in his sleep.

"Good news, boys," Halloween Knight exclaims, "the expansion is back on!"

Universidad Anahuac Mexico Norte

Mexico City, Mexico

Markers squeak on a whiteboard. "And so, by using this equation, we can determine the mass of the atom." A tall woman, raven hair tied back demurely in a bun, lectures before a full theatre of students. "The measurements must be taken quickly, as the atom is very unstable." She adds some notations to a board full of equations. "This is supposed to sound like a physics lecture, but as the writer was an English Major, he has no idea what a physics lecture would sound like. And he's too lazy to Google it. Also, obviously, this would be happening in Spanish."

The professor glances at her expensive watch. "Oops. Out of time for today." Her students start to gather up their things. "Remember to read Chapters 7 and 8 by the end of next week. And your assignment is due on Thursday!" The rest is lost in the cacophony of students leaving.

The crowd parts, revealing Halloween Knight (in his full gear and hood). He clears his throat. "Professor Ortega?"

She turns back to him and gasps. "Frankie! <insert Spanish exclamation here>!" Professor Gabriela Ortega strides over to him. Knight opens his arms wide, expecting a hug. Instead, she slaps him. Hard.

"That was for leaving me in San Juan!"

"I've never been to San Juan!" Knight yells, flexing his jaw. "This is my first time in Central America and, let me tell you, I'm not loving it. It's so damn hot. And why are there so many people in this city? Why do they all live here? This isn't New Zealand."

"What are you doing here, Frankie?"

"We're expanding, Gabriela. Going international. A ZEN empire. And we want you to run the Mexican side."

She taps her chin, thoughtfully. "I don't know. Ever since MPWF closed, I got out of the game. I'm teaching, writing, filming infomercials, learning to play nose flute, things like that. I'm not sure if I want to get back in."

"You owe me one, Gabriela."

"Why, because I slapped you?"

"One word,three syllables. Liechenstein."

"Damn. You got me. I'm in."

The Garage Club

Glasgow, Scotland

A lone figure sits in a small, plain locker room, towel over his head. Five minutes in the ring. A hundred booing fans. Left counting the lights at another dank bar.

A greasy, gelatinous blob wearing the tacky suit of SNP owner Mark Carnie sticks his head into the change room. "Hey, Jay." The undead piece of turkey gristle tosses him a envelope. "There's your pay for the night."

Jay quickly counts the pounds. "Hey. This is light. Where's my cut of merchandise sales?"

The world’s best natural cosplay of Ghostbusters' Slimer laughs. It's the worst noise ever made. "Ha! We only sold one of your shirts. To some chick who threw up on it. I kept it as a transactional fee."

Jay just sighs. As much as he hated the oddly coloured pit stain, he needed the work.

"By the way," says the raw material from the 'How Chicken Nuggets Are Made' video, "there's a guy looking for you. Seems a little kinky. You can talk to him in here if you want, but if you're still back here in ten minutes, I'm charging you admission." He smiles, showing off taxpayer funded dental work. "Children's admission."

Carnie disappears, only to be replaced by the monochromatic visage of Halloween Knight. Jay jumps to his feet, promptly tripping. "Uh, Frankie! Hey! What brings you here?"

Knight nods towards the exit. "Is that really the owner? I'm surprised it's capable of conscious thought."

"He really isn't. So... what brings you to Glasgow?"

"You, Jay. We need your help."

"Wow? Really?"

"Sort of. I mean, you weren't on our short list, but 21CW has really signed a lot of talent up."

"Oh."

"I guess what I'm asking is... Jay Coward, are you ready to become a Major Annoyance?"

GilmourGuy · July 2, 2017

Information Thread

Hey, everyone. This is a probably too ambitious take on running ZEN Worldwide. ZEN Worldwide is inspired by Boltinho's C-Verse XL mod from TEW whatever the version before 16 was. It's not run using that mod, just inspired by it.

So what is this, exactly?

Basically, I'm running a three user game where ZEN has created a 'worldwide' alliance with satellite promotions opening in Ireland and Mexico. You know, all the really important countries.

Do you really think you're funny enough to write ZEN?

Uh, no. Definitely not. My take on ZEN (and its affiliates) will likely be a little more serious than some will like. I'm taking my inspiration from my favourite wrestling companies: mostly CHIKARA and Lucha Underground. I can't do the abstract, goofy humour as well as CHIKARA, for sure. What I like about ZEN is that it's a fully kayfabe wrestling world, where ridiculousness happens, such as fish wrestling superheroes. I'm trying to create a different feeling for each of the ZENs, but they will all be story-based with elements of fantasy (and what I think is comedy).

I love ZEN, but it's really intimidating to post a diary on it.

This sounds like an epic failure.

Well, thanks for that vote of confidence, voice in my head.

Pteroid · July 2, 2017

To be fair, LU is funny in it's own way, especially when it takes its ridiculousness at face value:

"No time for pants" comes to mind.

KnowYourEnemy · July 2, 2017

Really looking forward to this diary.

I've been waiting for this moment since I played a RTG on C-Verse XL with one of the ZEN offshoots (ZEN-Canada). Always been my favorite, but never been confident enough to write them.

I'm really looking forward to both ZEN-Ireland and ZEN-Mexico. Both areas have been largely unexplored in the CVerse, especially at the lower level, and I love ZEN's product.

Will the offshoots adopt ZEN's event schedule?

GilmourGuy · July 3, 2017

To be fair, LU is funny in it's own way, especially when it takes its ridiculousness at face value:

"No time for pants" comes to mind.

Agree. I wasn't trying to suggest that LU wasn't funny (wait, is that a double negative?). I think that ZEN is essentially the C-Verse's version of CHIKARA, whereas my version is likely to be more like a mix of CHIKARA and LU. At least, that's the way I see it. Whether I achieve that or not is up to you guys. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

Will the offshoots adopt ZEN's event schedule?

Yes. I should have mentioned that perhaps. Both ZEN Mexico and ZEN Ireland will run monthly shows, like ZEN 1.0, but with different names. The products are all the same, although I've tinkered slightly with it, dropping Comedy one level and getting rid of the face/heel divide (cause I hate it). You're still likely to see faces and heels against each other, just not all the time. As someone who cheers for heels in wrestling, I prefer some grey and not just black and white.

ZEN Mexico and ZEN Ireland were given popularity just under that of ZEN's. ZEN 1.0 starts the game around 32 pop in New Zealand. ZEN-M and ZEN-I were given 28 pop in West Central Mexico and Ireland, respectively. What's interesting (maybe) is that spillover effects make ZEN-M way more popular worldwide.

GilmourGuy · July 3, 2017

ZEN-NZ : Way of the Dreamer

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ZEN: Way of the Dreamer

Saturday, Week 2, January 2016

Wellington, New Zealand

952 Attendance

The show starts with announcer and sometimes authority figure Sparky Sparks in the ring. “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to a very special edition of ZEN: Art of Wrestling. Tonight, we change the world and things will never be the same.”

“As you all know, our great company was founded by the Grandfather of Ghouls himself, Hallowe’en Knight. He was the first ever ZEN Master and is the only four time champion. Throughout our history, now entering our ninth year, Hallowe’en Knight has remained a constant. But tonight, he has something to share as his alter ego. So please, give a warm welcome to Frankie Bendis.”

The crowd gives Frankie a standing ovation as he comes out from the back, minus his mask and regular gear.

Since its inception, ZEN wrestlers have religiously guarded their true identities behind the masks, with the exception of Knight/Frankie. He always saw his position as the promotion’s main ambassador requiring a professional face, instead of only a guy in a mask. Still, his appearances in a ZEN ring as Frankie Bendis were few and far between, and enough to warrant the warm reception. Knight is the guy everyone loves to boo, but they respect Bendis.

Bendis is dressed in a stylish dress jacket over a ZEN T-Shirt. He is surprisingly well groomed under the Hallowe’en Knight gear, and resembles a muscular hipster.

“I know some of you have heard the rumours. I’m here tonight to set everything straight. Almost a decade ago, I stood in this very ring for the most exciting moment of my life; the start of ZEN. With that in mind, I’m here to announce the start of something even greater; ZEN WORLDWIDE.”

The crowd cheers, even though it’s not readily apparent what this actually means. Frankie lets the cheers die down before explaining. “ZEN is spreading our wings wide. Our brand of sports entertainment is about to encompass the entire globe. Starting next month, ZEN will be opening affiliates in Mexico and Ireland.”

“Throughout our history, ZEN has been about bringing people and fans together. We are stronger together. With this in mind, representatives of ZEN Mexico and ZEN Ireland will be here, next month, to compete against our very own ZEN stars in a massive, cross-brand, nine-man match! As well, every ZEN event will be available online.”

“But enough about next show, let me tell you about tonight.” Frankie points dramatically to the backstage area. “Back there, Pumpkin Jack is polishing the Knight’s title, without a challenger. Our main event of the evening will be a Triple Threat between Cyanide, Shaolin and Devilfish, with a title shot going to the winner.”

He turns towards the hard cam and drops the ‘clever’ ZEN slogan. “This. Is. ZEN.”

Frankie Bendis leaves the ring, as the music of Damian Dastardly hits. He exits the back, smug grin on his face and ZEN Conceptual Belt around his waist (one would surmise). He motions to his waist while staring down Frankie. Frankie just shakes his head and leaves. Damian leaps into the ring and gestures for a mic.

“Keep calm, ladies. Stay cool, dudes. Damian Dastardly is here.” He soaks in some boos and cheers. Damian is a good looking guy, but his smug expression just makes his face super punchable. “Now, I know you’re all disappointed that the Main Event - me - is not able to be in the Main Event tonight. That makes 15 shows in a row. I know, right? It’s ridiculous. But don’t fear, because you get to see me in gorgeous action, right now!” He takes ‘off’ the belt and ‘holds’ it up. “Conceptual Open Challenge? Who wants to lose, figuratively and literally?”

Hip Hop music hits and out come the Knights Temple - SubUrban Legend and Killer B. They both head towards the ring.

“Only one at a time!” Damian screeches from the ring. Legend and Killer B stop to play a quick game of ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’. Legend wins and rushes the ring.

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Damian Dastardly © vs SubUrban Legend

For the ZEN Conceptual Belt

Dastardly quickly scampers out of the ring and takes a powder. It backfires, as Legend hits a gorgeous flip onto him. Legend continues to beat Damian around the ring, before finally rolling him back in. Legend takes a bit too long playing to the crowd, though, as a cheap shot from Damian allows the champ to regain some momentum. This is a pretty good title match. Both of these young guys are fun to watch. The crowd’s into it, especially after the opening promos got them hot. Still, they buy into the moves, not the tension. Damian sells well for Legend, but the crowd just doesn’t bite on the nearfalls. Damian retains with a Dastardly Cunning after another cheap shot.

Damian Dastardly defeats SubUrban Legend to retain the ZEN Conceptual Title: 48

Damian doesn’t hang around, ‘gathering’ up his title and heading to the back. Classical music hits and out comes Buckminster Snark, complete with his snooty bathrobe, tumbler of scotch and monocle. He poses in the ring as the crowd enjoys booing him. “I’m richer than all of you,” Snark proclaims, spreading his arms wide. He is interrupted by what sounds like a Disney Princess song and out comes Kalliope Woodchuck, ready for her match.

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Buckminster Snark vs Kalliope Woodchuck

Some quick action from two of the greenest talents in the company. Kalliope clearly has the crowd behind her against Snark. Sparky Sparks, on commentary, mentions how this should help Kalliope get her mind off the recent abuse she’s suffered at the hands of Pink Spider and Trevor Feather. It’s a sloppy match, but, blessedly, not a very long one. Kalliope ends it with the Woodchipper.

Kalliope Woodchuck defeats Buckminster Snark. Rating: 28

Kalliope Woodchuck is celebrating, when Trevor Feather slides into the ring. Kalliope saw him coming and quickly meets his attack. The two exchange blows, but Woodchuck fights him off. Focused on Feather, she fails to notice Pink Spider sneaking in behind, along with Buckminster Snark recovering. Snark and Spider double team Woodchuck. Superkick by Spider!

“Imagine being proud that you were able to beat up someone with a three on one,” Sparks grouses on commentary. Snark, Spider and Feather pose over the fallen Kalliope Woodchuck.

"It's her own fault!" Thane returns. "Spider has warned her about wearing the colour pink. It's his colour!"

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A scene that was clearly filmed earlier, because it opens on Sparky Sparks somewhere backstage despite the fact that he was, moments before, at the commentary desk. With Frankie Bendis generally… preoccupied… at ZEN events, Sparks has been pulling double duty as an onscreen authority and play by play commentator. He closes a large folder that is clearly labeled BUSINESS. “Now that that’s finished with…” Sparks picks up a folder tagged PLEASURE and opens it. Pokemon cards fall out.

There’s a knock at the door. Sparks barely looks up. “Enter.”

A well dressed man stands there, wearing a suit with a bright blue stripper-like bowtie instead of a dress one. “Uh, Sparky Sparks?”

“Yup.”

“The name’s Rob Urich. We talked on the phone.” Sparks nods and motions him in. “You can call me Dazzler, though. Yup. You should definitely call, if you know what I mean.”

Sparks scratches his chin. “Hm. This is not the job I thought I was agreeing to over the phone.”

“I can do whatever job you want- sorry. Force of habit. Uh, I’m here for the wrestling job.”

“Right. The Dazzler.” Sparks closes his PLEASURE folder and reopens BUSINESS. “Turns out we have a pretty full roster right now.”

“Come on, I really need this job. God, I need this job.”

“It’s hard to say ‘no’ to someone who calls me God. Look, you can have a chance. Win tonight, and the roster spot is yours.”

“Thanks, you won’t regret this,” Dazzler runs over to shake his hand. “Just like I won’t regret last night. Hi-yo!”

“What does that mean? What happened last night?”

"I marathoned House of Cards. Sorry. Force of habit."

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Somewhere else backstage, in a small hallway, Pumpkin Jack is walking, ZEN Master Belt over his shoulder. He hums “What’s This” from Nightmare Before Christmas as he walks. He sets down his belt to get a drink of water. Then he talks to it. “Who’s a pretty girl, huh? You are-” Jack stops short, cocking his head as if listening. “No, of course I’m not talking to you. I’m talking-”

“To me.”

Jack looks up. Cyanide is walking down the hall towards him. The villain grins. Well, to be fair, his mask is always kind of grinning. But this time, you can actually hear the grin in his voice. “Hearing voices again, Jack?”

“It’s none of your business, Cyanide,” Jack answers. He jerks his head to the side, as though shushing someone.

“Right… Well, you keep that title belt nice and shiny, cause I’ll be coming for it after I win the Number One Contender’s Match tonight.”

“I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to… who is she?” Jack’s tone actually causes Cyanide to turn.

A good looking woman is standing down the hall, watching them. She has shoulder length hair and a nose ring. She winks at them. “Boys.”

“Who are you?”

“A fan?” Jack asks, pulling out a pen.

“Not a fan,” she answers. Jack's pen disappears. “The name’s Jaime. I’m not here for you two. I’m here to deliver a surprise.”

“I like surprises,” Cyanide says, a little too quickly.

“Then you’ll love this one,” Jaime says, strolling past them with a deep sway in her hips. Both Cyanide and Jack watch her go.

“Dibs!” Jack yells.

Cyanide glares at him. “I’m not doing dibs with you.”

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Azazel, Blue Flea and Booster Boy VS Man O’ War, Ferdy Lloyd and Surfer Dude Lucas

There’s a funny moment before this match. Booster Boy is actually the first out for his team, and gets progressively more exasperated as his teammates are revealed and introduced.

Not surprisingly, this match does not go the way of Azazel, Flea and Booster. They get some heat on Ferdy Lloyd, who plays the gimmick of a honourable, upstanding guy to the limit. At one point, he hits a desperation enziguri on Azazel, but allows him to get up and make the tag. Lucas eventually gets the hot tag, but ends up diving through the ropes onto Booster Boy. Man O’ War goes nuts on everyone and hits everything that moves. He definitely comes out looking the best, before hitting Neptune’s Trident (Double Underhook Facebuster) on Flea for the win.

Man O’War, Ferdy Lloyd and Surfer Dude Lucas defeat Azazel, Flea and Booster Boy. Rating: 37

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Warp-Jump (w/ Guru Vishni) © VS The Ghost Hunters

For the ZEN Harmony Championship

A fun tag team match. The champs are fun to watch, the challengers… less so. Toady and HalloWarped bounce around as Bruce Strange and Mister Hyde try, in vain mostly, to slow them down. At one point, Hyde brings in a large, leather bound book. Strange encourages him to ‘exorcise’ Toady. Hyde just chucks the book at him. Toady dodges and WarpJump take control again. There is a pretty funny moment later where Guru Vishni is caught on camera, intently reading the tome.

Lucky for him, his charges don’t need his help, winning the match after a nice WarpSpeed by HalloWarped on Strange.

Warp-Jump defeat Ghost Hunters to retain the ZEN Harmony Championship. Rating: 39

After the match, there appears to be some tension between the Ghost Hunters. They argue in the ring while Warp-Jump leave, talking about a party.

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Backstage again. Frankie Bendis is signing a paper on a clipboard. The clipboard is held by a crew member whose shirt reads “I’m An #EasterEgg.”

Super Zero walks up as the crew member leaves. He squints at Frankie. “Uh, Frankie?”

Frankie’s smile is wide and genuine. “Ah, my good friend, Super Zero. How are you?” He claps Zero on the back.

Zero eyes him up. “Friend? Uh, I pretty much hate you. You’ve sneak attacked me the last three months. Two months ago, you tried to curse me, but got the wrong house and all my neighbour’s hair fell out.”

Frankie laughs, a little nervously. “Don’t be silly. If I did that - and I’m not saying I did - I would’ve meant to get your neighbour. He sounds like a jerk.”

“She’s actually pretty nice. Well, not anymore.”

“Well, I gotta head out. Stay cool. Warm one out there.”

“It’s January.”

“We’re in the southern hemisphere.”

Frankie saunters off, whistling to himself. Zero watches him go and shakes his head. “Wow. Hard to believe that’s the same guy. At least I don’t have to worry about getting attacked this week.”

Super Zero heads off in the same direction. The camera lingers for a second, then slowly zooms into the background, where several stacks of equipment create some shadows. The darkness coalesces into form and out steps Hallowe’en Knight. He says nothing, just watches Zero walk away.

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Dazzler vs Vertigo (w/ Molly Cuddle)

Dazzler looks a little excited, as he strips down to his wrestling gear, which consists of really small tights and a bowtie. Molly Cuddle finds a chair near the commentary station and immediately focuses on her phone.

The match is pretty good, considering Dazzler hasn’t worked much and is new to ZEN. Vertigo is a very reliable hand, flying around the ring and making it look easy. He really gets the crowd to buy into Dazzler’s chances, and the new wrestler gets more than a few nearfalls that Vertigo just kicks out of. Eventually, though, Vertigo will drop Dazzler. Vertigo scales the turnbuckle and then, rather reluctantly, hits the Radar Legdrop for the win.

Vertigo defeats Dazzler. Rating: 49

As a despondent Dazzler exits, the competitors for the night’s main event start to enter. First is Pumpkin Jack, who takes up a seat near the commentary station. Then Cyanide, Devilfish and, in a puff of smoke, Shaolin, make their respective entrances. They start to circle, when some unfamiliar rock music hits. Jaime G - the woman from before - exits from the back. “Could I have your attention, please?”

Jack jumps up. “Dibs!”

“I have some information for you all. At the behest of Acting Director Sparky Sparks, this match is now a Fatal FourWay, featuring my client… TOMBSTONE!”

Tombstone’s muscular frame barely fits into his hoodie. His dark eyes glower as he throws some warmup punches and kicks. The wrestlers in the ring look to Sparky at the announce table. He shrugs. “I didn’t actually say that, but I’m not going to argue with him.”

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Cyanide vs Devilfish vs Shaolin vs Tombstone (w/ Jaime G)

Tombstone makes an immediate impact, hitting all three opponents early and often, clearing the ring, then yelling at the crowd in triumph. Devilfish is the first back in to try his luck with the newcomer. A quick exchange of blows ends with a release German throwing ‘Fish across the ring. Next up is Shaolin, but the ninja has less luck. Cyanide tries to strike a deal with Tombstone, but that backfires, too. A triple team finally turns things against Tombstone. From there, all four get their moments.

Jack joins commentary for a bit, giving Thane and Sparks some advice on where to find the best sushi places in Christchurch and the best way to remove grime from their bathrooms. He also ponders the advantages to getting a manager.

In the ring, the match breaks down completely. Steven Yale can’t keep any control (even less so than usual) and the wrestlers hit a big move, big pop brigade. Cyanide takes out Devilfish, leaving Shaolin alone with Tombstone. Shaolin goes for the Death Touch, but Tombstone counters into the Rear Naked Choke. The ninja fights, but has to tap.

Tombstone defeats Cyanide, Devilfish and Shaolin. Rating: 54

Tombstone yells his challenge to the ZEN-Nation as he celebrates in the ring. Jaime G raises his hand in triumph.

Pumpkin Jack watches them from the commentary station, impassive. Then quietly says, "I really need a manager."

Show Rating: 50

Pteroid · July 3, 2017

I loved every second of that, especially Jack

Koholos · July 3, 2017

Very funny. And well-written which is what I most look for.

I'll be following this one. I'm really hoping this 'Conceptual' belt leads to some kind of crazy Schrodinger's Cat shenanigans.

GilmourGuy · July 7, 2017

Thanks for the kind words, guys. Glad you enjoyed the first show!

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The new era of ZEN starts now! February 2016 is the month that everything changes, as ZEN launches affiliates in Ireland and Mexico. Six of those wrestlers will be present at Way of the Scholar for a massive 3 vs 3 vs 3 inter-promotional match.

The main event scene in ZEN was flipped on its head with the arrival of Tombstone. The hardcore fighter, along with his manager Jaime G, forced his way into the number one contender’s match, and promptly won. Pumpkin Jack doesn’t seem scared, but he’s never afraid unless the voices tell him to be. That match is next month, but both men will be in singles action at Way of the Scholar.

Hallowe’en Knight and Super Zero have had their issues for months. Zero will try to put the Grandfather of Ghouls in his past as he meets Pumpkin Jack. Kalliope Woodchuck continues to fight for respect against Pinkie and the Vane, while Devilfish just wants to fight. Plus, see the Knights Temple, Shaolin, Cyanide and Damian Dastardly in action!

For my DVW diary, I had a running contest where the prediction winner would get to name a worker’s theme music. I want to continue that, but with ZEN-I and ZEN-M just launching, it will just be for ZEN (the original) right now.

<div style="text-align:center;">Blue Flea vs Tombstone

Kalliope Woodchuck vs Trevor Feather

The Knights Temple vs Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas

Team ZEN-New Zealand vs Team ZEN-Ireland vs Team ZEN-Mexico

Cyanide vs Devilfish

Non-Title Match: Pumpkin Jack vs Super Zero</div>

Pteroid · July 7, 2017

Blue Flea vs Tombstone - HAHAHAHA

Kalliope Woodchuck vs Trevor Feather

The Knights Temple vs Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas

Team ZEN-New Zealand vs Team ZEN-Ireland vs Team ZEN-Mexico

Cyanide vs Devilfish

Non-Title Match: Pumpkin Jack vs Super Zero

KnowYourEnemy · July 8, 2017

Blue Flea vs Tombstone

Kalliope Woodchuck vs Trevor Feather

The Knights Temple vs Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas

Team ZEN-New Zealand vs Team ZEN-Ireland vs Team ZEN-Mexico

Cyanide vs Devilfish

Non-Title Match: Pumpkin Jack vs Super Zero

Herrbear · July 9, 2017

Blue Flea vs Tombstone

Kalliope Woodchuck vs Trevor Feather

The Knights Temple vs Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas

Team ZEN-New Zealand vs Team ZEN-Ireland vs Team ZEN-Mexico

Cyanide vs Devilfish

Non-Title Match: Pumpkin Jack vs Super Zero

XMultiGames · July 9, 2017

Hi, i love this idea, becuase not only the Australian area is almost unknown in diaries but you are also bringing Mexico and The British Isles that arent seen as much, and gives you space to do something good, personally i dont know any of these wrestlers so im probably going to believe anything you sell me about them, good luck, and my prediction will have analysis

Blue Flea vs Tombstone

Well... Tombstone is the DIW Champion, a heavyweight, and has the built to be pushed as a monster "heel" and Blue Flea is Blue Flea, not much more needed to know

Kalliope Woodchuck vs Trevor Feather

I think Kalliope is a pretty special attraction to the ZEN fans, is like the Chyna of ZEN, but without the attributes that made Chyna fight in the men division, and still she is doing it, it may be only my opinion, but i see a push in her future

The Knights Temple vs Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas

Toss up for me, i dont know any of these teams, so im going with the fact that SubUrban Legend lost to say they will win as is a way to give him momentun back

Team ZEN-New Zealand vs Team ZEN-Ireland vs Team ZEN-Mexico

I still dont know who is signed by each company, but based on my TEW knowledge Mexico has the better wrestlers so im going with them

Cyanide vs Devilfish

Toss up, going with my gut in this one, as i still dont know them well

Non-Title Match: Pumpkin Jack vs Super Zero

Non Title Match is usually code for Champion can lose without losing the title

Satyr24 · July 10, 2017

Blue Flea vs Tombstone

Kalliope Woodchuck vs Trevor Feather

The Knights Temple vs Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas

Team ZEN-New Zealand vs Team ZEN-Ireland vs Team ZEN-Mexico

Cyanide vs Devilfish

Non-Title Match: Pumpkin Jack vs Super Zero

GilmourGuy · July 10, 2017

ZEN-NZ : Way of the Scholar

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/SMxQmGf.jpg</div>

ZEN-New Zealand: Way of the Scholar

Saturday, Week 2, February 2016

Wellington, New Zealand

1,000 Attendance

Hosted by Sparky Sparks and Dustin Thane

Some absolutely terrible grunge rock music hits as the show opens and out comes Blue Flea. Flea is quite the lovable loser and takes his time getting down the ring, posing for selfies and slapping hands on the way. One of his signature entrance bits is to take off his toque and toss it into the crowd, where NO ONE grabs it. As usual, Flea doesn’t seem to notice.

“Flea is here to fight!” he yells. “You can’t keep a good flea down!”

“My dog had fleas once,” Dustin Thane remarks over commentary. “Treatment was $50.”

A massive explosion plays over the speakers, fading smoothly into rock music. Tombstone is here!

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/ptcHSJ1.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/CBUzXSR.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/qbECN90.jpgW/http://i.imgur.com/ked4hcA.jpg

Blue Flea vs Tombstone (w/ Jaime G)

Give Flea some credit. As soon as the bell rings, he charges at Tombstone and scores with a stiff right. Tombstone no sells it and just glares. And Flea does have a great ‘I’m-In-Deep-Shit’ face. Tombstone levels him with a lariat and spends the next few minutes just beating Flea around the ring, before choking him out with the Rear Naked Choke. The whole massacre lasts less than four minutes.

Tombstone defeats Blue Flea. Rating: 39</div>

Tombstone doesn’t even look at Flea after releasing the hold. Jaime G enters the ring with a mic, addressing the crowd as Tombstone glares around.

“For those of you losers that weren’t here last month, this is my client; my man, Tombstone. He has conquered companies in Australia, and now we’re here to do the same in New Zealand. And here’s the thing; Tombstone isn’t interested in wearing masks or performing dance moves or pretending like he’s some sort of fish. Tombstone is here for one reason only; to kick ass. Jack? I know you’re listening back there. Tombstone is going to turn you into Pumpkin Pie.”

Tombstone gives her a look. Jaime smirks and adds, “You’re going to get squashed.”

This time, he actually grabs the mic from her and shakes his head. “What happened to you?”

“I don’t know! It’s this place!”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/0RIVTY7.jpg</div>

Booster Boy is backstage. As is pretty much always the case, he is wearing his sunglasses inside. He is looking for a partner for his tag match tonight. The audience knows this because Booster Boy mutters aloud, “Crap, where am I going to find a tag partner on such short notice?”

He looks down the hallway. On one side, Azazel sits, colouring in his face paint. Booster Boy groans. He turns more to his left, eventually landing on the sleeping form of Classy Paul Massey, the retired road agent. He is clearly a more appealing choice for Booster than Azazel.

Surfer Dude Lucas wanders by, picking at a guitar. Booster Boy stops him with a hand. “Hey. Didn’t I fight against you last month?”

Lucas squints, as though trying in vain to place Booster. Then he shakes his glorious head. “Nah, brah. I think I’d remember that, yah?”

“Wha-? You know what, forget it. My alternatives are a sleeping old guy and an useless tool. You’ll do.” He grabs Lucas by the arm and pulls him off.

“Chill, brah!”

“God, I’m going to regret not picking Paul, aren’t I?”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/SlZmXC1.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/CBUzXSR.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/q15FU8S.jpg W/ http://i.imgur.com/dSq4EQr.jpg

Kalliope Woodchuck vs Trevor Feather (w/ Pink Spider)

Spider is a constant pest at ringside as his associate Feather takes on Kalliope. Luckily for Spider, Steven Yale - ZEN’s ‘blind’ ref - makes interference pretty easy to get away with. The running joke with Yale is that sometimes he plays completely blind and sometimes he sees things that happen behind his back. This match, Spider gets away with a lot. It’s almost a two on one.

Kalliope keeps fighting. After all, that is kind of her thing - fighting against all odds. Still, Feather remains in control. Kalliope manages to get a little separation. Feather charges and she dodges, sending him out of the ring and into Spider. Yale ‘sees’ this and immediately kicks Spider out for interference. Not surprisingly, he’s furious. He argues with Yale as he retreats up the ramp - Feather and Kalliope both watch this happen. Feather gets back into the ring, all the while yelling at Spider that he’s “got this”, only to turn into a Woodchipper (Disaster Kick) from Kalliope.

Kalliope Woodchuck defeats Trevor Feather. Rating: 36</div>

Feather is still prone in the ring, so it’s not too much of a shock that Pink Spider doesn’t hurry in to attack Kalliope, instead settling for yelling childish (this is ZEN) insults from the ramp. He is more insulted by her wearing some pink (his colour!) and her silly hair than the fact she’s a girl.

“You don’t own pink!” Kalliope yells.

“I do in ZEN!” Spider screeches back. “It’s part of my name!”

“FINE! Next month - you vs me. One on One. Winner gets the colour pink. Deal?”

“It’s ON!”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/0RIVTY7.jpg</div>

Backstage, we see a plain door with a hastily made sign taped on it. The sign reads ‘Secret Meeting: TEAM ZEN’, but half of the E’s are written backwards and ‘Meeting’ is spelled with three T’s. We go inside…

It’s a smallish locker room, but still with plenty of space for the five occupants; Damian Dastardly, Toady, HalloWarped, Guru Vishni and Shaolin. Damian has a whiteboard set up on a tripod in one corner of the room, covered in photos of himself along with what appears to be a rugby play. WarpJump share a bench, with Guru standing, unimpressed, behind them. Shaolin is in a corner, but appears in different corners whenever there is a camera cut.

“See? Easy-peasy!” Damian is saying.

Guru rolls his eyes. “And what if they aren’t distracted by your, quote, ‘perfect abs’?”

Damian stares at him. Blinks. “I don’t follow.” Guru throws his hands up, exasperated. “We’ve got other issues, though. The team is only three people. Only one of you tag guys can come with us.”

HalloWarped and Toady look at each other. Toady shrugs. “Rock, Paper, Scissors.” They play and he loses. “Best two out of three?” They play again and, again, Toady loses. “Best three out of five?”

“That’s great,” Damian groans. He turns to Shaolin. “Ok. Ninja guy. Your job is to do ninja stuff. Got it?”

Shaolin nods emphatically.

“Just don’t do too much ninja stuff that it takes away from all the cool stuff I’ll be doing. Got it?”

Shaolin cocks his head emphatically.

“Shut up, ninja guy.”

Behind them, Toady is clearly heard. “Best 15 out of 29?”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/WPzZlLt.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/wlKkb78.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/CBUzXSR.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/l0P4c19.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/kdMdIQZ.jpg

The Knights Temple vs Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas

Booster Boy is already annoyed with Lucas by the time they reach the ring. The surfer is way laid back.

The match isn’t bad, but it isn’t so great, either. Not a bad lead into the bigger matches of the night. Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas aren’t a terrible combination, but they aren’t a match for the former champs.

The Knights Temple defeat Booster Boy and Surfer Dude Lucas. Rating: 39

</div>

Killer B and SubUrban Legend each grab a mic after the match. Legend throws down a little beat boxing as Killer B challenges the Harmony Champs - Team WarpJump - to face them in the ring.

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/0RIVTY7.jpg</div>

It’s time for the Triple Trios Match between ZEN New Zealand, ZEN Ireland and ZEN Mexico! Sparky Sparks is in the ring, acting as a special match announcer.

“Introducing first, from right here in ZEN: The Art of Wrestling, the team of ZEN Conceptual Champ Damian Dastardly, ZEN Harmony Champ HalloWarped and the mysterious Shaolin!”

HalloWarped is the first one out, but Damian quickly positions himself in front of the tag champ. The two continue to jostle all the way to the ring. Shaolin stalks behind. In the ring, the two compete to get bigger cheers from the different sections of the crowd. Guru Vishni tries to help HalloWarped by encouraging the crowd to get loud. “Some tension within the ranks of Team ZEN,” Dustin Thane notes on commentary.

“From ZEN Ireland, the team of Davey Celtic, Matthew Macks and Stuntman!”

Celtic is the first through the back, dressed in Celtic FC kit. It’s not too obvious. Macks has an Irish flag across his shoulders. Stuntman immediately charges the ring, mounting the turnbuckles to pose for the crowd and miming shooting his own head. Macks ascends a turnbuckle, singing an Irish song to the audience and waving the flag. Celtic takes his time coming down the ramp, giving out high fives as he goes.

“This is ridiculous,” Dustin Thane says, “according to my files, neither Davey Celtic nor Stuntman are even Irish! Stuntman is English, although he’s billed as being from ‘Where Anything Is Possible’.”

“And finally, from ZEN Mexico, the team of Aztec Prince, California Love Machine and Dragon Del Arco Iris Jr!”

Perhaps the most theatrical of all the teams in their entrance, ZEN Mexico is colourful and charismatic. Aztec Prince has two gorgeous girls fanning him with giant palm fronds as he enters. CLM dances around, apparently obvious of the Prince and his entourage. Prince gives him a glare every time CLM cuts him off while dancing from one side of the entrance ramp to the other. Dragon trails behind, in his own world, cheerfully roaring for the crowd and spreading his cape wide, like a set of wings.

“Some impressive workers from ZEN Mexico,” Thane notes. “Dragon is a multi-time CILL champion, Aztec Prince is their current Mexican champion and California Love Machine holds the ‘Coastal Zone Xtreme’ belt. That is the most ridiculous name for a championship I have ever heard.”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/pTJbFzO.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/3KWhRFq.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/U8IZ8yR.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/CBUzXSR.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/JxP8Jiw.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/GBPrEgo.jpg(W/http://i.imgur.com/TW0IcbH.jpg)http://i.imgur.com/a8BUEHT.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/CBUzXSR.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/AXaN3WO.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/cHUf6UE.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/057jcV2.jpg

Aztec Prince, California Love Machine and Dragon Del Arco Iris Jr vs Damian Dastardly, HalloWarped (w/ Guru Vishni) and Shaolin VS Davey Celtic, Matthew Macks and Stuntman

Back on commentary, Sparky Sparks explains that this is a team elimination match, meaning that once a person is pinned or submitted, his team is eliminated. Damian Dastardly starts off against Dragon Del Arco, who shows off his smooth lucha skills. The early going of the match sees the established ZEN workers selling for the visitors. Aztec Prince shows off his strength against HalloWarped, then Celtic outplays Shaolin. The commentary helps build up the visitors as well. Sparks particularly enjoys putting ‘Dragon’ in front of all of Dragon’s moves. “A Dragon DDT! Dragon Punch! Dragon Dive!”

The story of the match revolves around all three of the teams having serious communication issues. Damian and HalloWarped argue, while Shaolin ignores both of them. On Team Mexico, no one listens to anyone. Stuntman and Macks seem stuck in a competition of trying to one up each other, much to Celtic’s chagrin.

It leads to their downfall. While much of ZEN-M brawls with ZEN-NZ outside, Stuntman manages to isolate California Love Machine in the ring and drops him with a nasty kick, DDT combination. Macks enters the ring, but instead of double-teaming CLM, he hits a running dive on the group outside. Stuntman watches him, then looks at the prone CLM, then somersaults onto the group outside. An exasperated Davey Celtic manages to separate himself from the brawl and slides back in. But before he can take advantage, Shaolin appears out of nowhere. Death Touch (Running Thumb Spike)! Shaolin makes the pin.

TEAM ZEN-IRELAND IS ELIMINATED

Dragon Del Arco is back in, quickly rolling up Shaolin. “Dragon-homa Roll!” Sparks exclaims. “Will you stop?” Thane responds. Shaolin kicks out. The two go back and forth for a stretch, until California Love Machine recovers. That brief two-on-one ends with HalloWarped coming back in. Team Mexico gets control however, allowing CLM to hit his beautiful LAX Departure legdrop on HalloWarped. Damian breaks up pin, but Aztec Prince is also back in. They exchange blows and Damian feeds the still woozy HalloWarped to Prince. Triple Powerbomb from Prince on HalloWarped. Shaolin hits Prince with a superkick, then Damian clotheslines him - and himself - out of the ring. Shaolin notices Dragon is back on the turnbuckle and throws him off, leaving just Shaolin and CLM in the ring. CLM seems to get the upperhand, but Shaolin hits a Pele Kick and another Death Touch. Just before he can go for the pin, Damian Dastardly appears, shoving the ninja aside and getting the pinfall himself.

TEAM ZEN-MEXICO IS ELIMINATED

Team ZEN-NZ defeats ZEN-M and ZEN-I. Rating: 45

</div>

Damian Dastardly celebrates in the ring, as Shaolin just glares at him.

“A gutsy performance by our Conceptual champ secures the win for ZEN-NZ!” Thane proclaims.

“’Gutsy’? He stole that pin from Shaolin!”

“He’s a ninja! Can you really steal from a thief?”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/0RIVTY7.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/xcJrmX2.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/CBUzXSR.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/KWXjFhB.jpg

Cyanide vs Devilfish

Commentary sells this match as coming as a result of the Number One’s Contender Match last month that neither of them managed to win. Thane and Sparks also do a good job of selling Cyanide’s slump.

“He’s a major player in ZEN,” Sparks explains, “But Cyanide has really been drifting around since the departures of Necromancer and Massacre.”

“Things aren’t the same when your faction leaves,” Thane adds.

This match is really good. The straight singles match is a welcome change of pace after the chaos of the trios match and the comedy that preceded that. These two just go out and tear it up. Cyanide takes whatever shortcuts he needs, just generally heeling it up out there. But he just can’t seem to put Devilfish away. Devilfish even manages to hit the Fish Finger Shuffle, but Cyanide rolls out before ‘Fish can go for a pin. Devilfish grabs him on the outside. Cyanide kicks out, low and hard. Yale misses the low blow. Cyanide hits the Skull Splitter on the outside, then rolls Devilfish back in. Another Skull Splitter gives him the three count.

Cyanide defeats Devilfish. Rating: 63

</div>

Steven Yale raises Cyanide’s hand in victory, only for the villain to yank it away. He goes back to Devilfish, who is just starting to stir, and just lays into him with stomps and kicks.

The theme from the old cartoon ‘Justice League’ hits and out comes Vertigo! The hero runs down the ramp and slides into the ring. Cyanide, tired after his match, wisely wants nothing to do with him, and makes his escape. Vertigo yells and points at Cyanide from the ring.

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/qn0uGlu.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/CBUzXSR.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/p1v8cLJ.jpg

Pumpkin Jack vs Super Zero

Non-Title Match

Pumpkin Jack offers a gentlemanly handshake before the match starts. Zero agrees, but Jack pulls away at the last second, laughing at his own joke. Zero stands there for a few seconds, apparently confused by the joke.

This is a good match, brought down by the lack of any sort of heat between the two workers. Maybe it shouldn’t have been the main event, but there are… reasons… it made sense. Sparks makes an interesting point on commentary, noting that while Super Zero and Pumpkin Jack have both been, traditionally, heroes in ZEN, they’ve never really been aligned. Or in opposition, for that matter.

The match starts to fall apart when, with Pumpkin Jack in firm control, Tombstone and Jaime G come out from the back to watch. Jack is distracted, allowing Super Zero to score with a few hits, until the hero realizes why his opponent has lost focus. The two form some sort of truce. They stand at the ropes, yelling at Tombstone and encouraging him to enter the ring. The hardcore brawler looks ready to take them up on their challenge when the lights go out.

The lights come back up and Hallowe’en Knight stands in the ring behind Jack and Zero. Punches for Zero! Kicks for Jack!

Super Zero launches into an attack, bouncing off the rope and drilling Knight. Jack looks to follow, but Tombstone cuts him off with a crisp spear. Jack rolls out of the ring and Tombstone follows. Meanwhile, Knight chopblocks Zero, before quickly locking him in the Pumpkin Patch. Zero taps frantically, but this is an attack, not a match any longer. Tombstone and Jack have disappeared through the crowd.

Hallowe’en Knight releases the hold and the final image of the show is the Grandfather of Ghouls standing tall over his vanquished foe.

Pumpkin Jack vs Super Zero ends in a draw. Rating: 50</div>

Final Show Rating: 50

GilmourGuy · July 10, 2017

Thanks for all the predictions, guys and gals.

Jack vs Zero was a little unfair, since it ended in a draw, so I gave everyone a point for that.

Pteroid is the winner; he got all his predictions correct. His reward is getting to pick the music for a member of ZEN! This can be anyone from the New Zealand, Mexico or Ireland roster. I will post the inaugural Mexico and Ireland shows later in the week (they are written, I'm just held up on trying to make somewhat decent versions of the logo for them). Those first shows will NOT have a prediction contest, since I'm launching those companies. Which is why, Pteroid, you can feel free to wait until seeing those shows to name theme music.

GilmourGuy · July 13, 2017

ZEN-I : Way of the Leprechaun

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/pngL8CF.jpg</div>

ZEN-Ireland: Way of the Leprechaun

Saturday, Week 3, February 2016

Dublin, Ireland

721 Attendance

Hosted by Martin Bloydell and Melanie Florence.

Some modest pyro goes off as Martin Bloydell and Melanie Florence welcome everyone to the inaugural show of ZEN-Ireland, especially welcoming online viewers from Mexico, New Zealand and across the world. ZEN-I may have the weakest roster in the alliance, but their commentary team are second to none.

And here’s Jay Coward - The Minor Annoyance! Coward is a bit of a cult figure over the British Isles. He’s a lovable loser, like a Colin Delaney or James Ellsworth. The type of guy you like to see, as long as he’s far from the main event. He’s also one of the ugliest workers in professional wrestling and has less muscle tone than any athlete should.

“Welcome, to ZEN IRELAND!” Coward squeaks into a mic, his voice not exactly heavy with gravitas. “My name is Jay Coward and I am the head booker of ZEN-I, as well as your esteemed host for the evening. Everybody ready for some wrestling?” The crowd actually gives him some cheers for this.

Jay Coward is just basking in more cheers and attention than he’s ever gotten before - combined. He grins and leans his head back. “Then… let’s get ready to RUM-”

A loud pop ballad cuts him off. Coward looks confused. The music gets louder. Coward motions to some techs at ringside, but stops as a woman strides out onto the ramp. She is stunning, even dressed casually like she is. A complete contrast to the scrubby looking Coward. She enters the ring, stopping to grab a mic first.

“Excuse me, but who-”

She holds up a finger to stop him. The look she gives Coward is not friendly. “My name is not important, but you can call me ‘boss’.”

“Excuse me, but I’m the boss-”

She holds up the finger, again. Freezes him with a look. “I’m not finished.” She examines the crowd and looks thoroughly unimpressed. If you have a female significant other, you know this look. “I’ve seen worse. Not by a lot.” She takes a deep breath, forcing a smile out with little success. “I am Simona. I am in charge. Thank you for your service, Jay. Please leave my ring.”

“What?” This time, Jay powers on. “Uh, Frankie - Hallowe’en Knight - put me in charge. I’m the boss, here.”

“Hallowe’en Knight? Adorable.” Simona laughs. “Let’s be honest, the man is driven, yes, but he’s not made of money. Or connections here in the UK. Some silent investors bought into ZEN-I and, starting tonight, they are no longer interested in being silent. My bosses own more of this company than yours, Jay. Hallowe’en is over.”

Jay looks stunned. Unable to speak, he just sadly puts his mic down and rolls out of the ring.

Simona watches him go, immensely pleased with herself. “All the paperwork is backstage, if you’d like to go over it,” she calls to him. “But don’t take too long. You have a match tonight.”

Jay stops. We can’t hear what he’s saying anymore, but he’s clearly confused. Simona laughs again. “That’s right. Frank wanted to keep you on. So I’ve given you a match, with a bunch of other freaks. You’ll fit right in.” Simona continues to survey her new company as Jay retreats to the back. She gives the crowd a knowing smirk. "... Enjoy the show."

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/EctU5Xj.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/MAZKO9G.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/NFsUi90.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/u0sjEjy.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/057jcV2.jpg

The Foreign Legion (Jacques and Pierre DuPont) VS JOJI and Stuntman

Jacques and Pierre are identical twins who are very identical. Their team makes a solid, if unspectacular, addition to the ZEN-I tag division. Members of the Foreign Legion seem like a good comedic gimmick, but they’re actually French, so the only thing that’s really funny about is their outrageous French accents. JOJI and Stuntman seem like they should make a good team of daredevils, but the problem with a team of daredevils is there isn’t anyone to stop the daredevilling.

When JOJI crashes and burns on a suicide dive, it leaves Stuntman alone against both members of the Foreign Legion. He falls victim to their tag finisher, Napoleon’s Revenge. Jacques DuPont makes the pin.

The Foreign Legion defeat JOJI and Stuntman. Rating: 41

</div>

JOJI comes back into the ring, helping Stuntman to his feet. Stuntman pushes him off. “Where did you go? I thought we were a team.”

JOJI seems to be trying to explain about his suicide dive. It’s hard to tell with his broken English. Stuntman looks annoyed, not annoyed as he should be. If anything, he seems unimpressed by JOJI’s dive. “Please, that was nothing. Just wait until our next match. I’ll show you a move or two.”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/HnkJrll.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/zz4PtAu.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/NFsUi90.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/HDTLQan.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/NFsUi90.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/rrTEIWP.jpg

Bali Daljit vs Jonni Lowlife vs Konrad Makinen

Bali enters the show with a burst of energy, sprinting to the ring and performing a crisp backflip off the turnbuckle. Jonni - his long colourful hair, grunge look and his history in ROF making him a crowd favourite - is the next out. Konrad Makinen stalks to the ring last, UEW Nations belt strapped around his waist, glaring at his competitors; his face betraying nothing but business. Jonni and Bali shake hands and both offer that to Konrad, who refuses. The match begins.

A standard Triple Threat match, following that reliable formula of two competitors in the ring while one recovers on the outside. Jonni and Konrad both look good, while Bali does surprisingly well for himself, too. Not bad considering Konrad is pretty much unknown here, as is Bali (outside of his SNP stuff).

The finish sees Bali hitting his beautiful Shooting Star Press onto Konrad. The old saying claims that to win a Triple Threat, you have to have eyes on the back of your head. It proves true here, as Jonni Lowlife breaks up the pin, hits Bali with the Low Down (corkscrew kick), then pinning him to win, while Konrad is still out.

Jonni Lowlife defeats Bali Daljit and Konrad Makinen. Rating: 37

</div>

As the three clear the ring, overly dramatic orchestral music begins to play. A young lightweight exits the back, wearing a long, stylish leather duster. It has several straps across the front, tightening it and giving the whole ensemble a steampunk-ish feel. He strides to the ring, barely acknowledging the crowd.

He takes his time entering the ring. He cups a mic in one hand, like he’s holding a chalice. He pauses, trying to let the crowd die down. It doesn’t really work. “Rejoice. For your master has arrived. I… am Maxwell Bleak.” He talks with an upper class British accent.

There still isn’t much of a reaction. Bleak is young and not particularly well known. Still, the outfit and the persona, just makes you want to punch him. “I don’t need your cheers or your taunts,” Bleak continues. “I am better than all of you. I have waited for my chance; my glory. And this… this ZEN… This is it. I am the greatest wrestler in the world today and I-”

Asian-influenced rock pumps over the speakers. Out of the back comes two workers, both Japanese and both dressed in Judo Gi. His is white and tightly cinched; hers is blue and open, revealing dark workout gear underneath. Bleak watches them carefully as they stride to the ring. “Who are you and what do you want?”

The man motions for the mic. Meanwhile, the woman lingers in the corner, tying up her gi. Bleak hands him the mic. The man points to himself. “Jotaro Tanaka.” He motions to the woman. “Yu Hashimoto.”

Bleak grabs the mic back. “So, what are you doing here?” Instead of waiting for an answer, he motions to Yu. “And what is she doing?”

Jotaro takes the mic. He pauses, looking like he is searching for the right word. “Preparing…”

“Preparing for what?”

Bleak turns and Yu spins, smashing his face with a back elbow. Bleak sells it like death. Yu poses above Bleak as Jotaro raises the mic. “We… the future.”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/HnkJrll.jpg</div>

Somewhere backstage, a glum looking Bali Daljit, towel draped over his shoulders, walks through mostly empty halls. He sees someone off camera and grins. “Phil? Is that you?”

The camera pans, showing ‘Stardust’ Phil Cox stretching out down a side hall. Cox was once a recognizable figure in 21CW and ROF, under the shiny yellow mask of Stardust. There’s no mask tonight. In fact, Phil’s mohawk and tough exterior appear to be an attempt at a direct contrast. Phil shows a slight smile. “Bali. Good to see you. Been awhile.”

“That independent show in Manchester, right?” Bali says, warming to the topic. “I didn’t know you were attached to ZEN.”

“I didn’t really advertise it,” Cox mutters, clearly not wanting to talk.

“No mask, huh?”

Cox glares at Bali. “I’m more than Stardust, you know.” He shakes his head and turns away. “They wanted the mask. Of course they did. I’m more than just Stardust. I don’t need him anymore.” He tightens the laces on his boots. “I don’t.”

Bali raises an eyebrow and takes a little step back. “So, who are you fighting tonight?”

“Well, this crazy booker woman, she wanted Stardust. So she put me in the match with all the freaks. She won’t be laughing when I win.”

Bali nods, gives Phil a concerned look, then walks off.

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/Ch3ZtKH.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/NFsUi90.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/tkq1Yb0.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/NFsUi90.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/7rGh7JZ.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/NFsUi90.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/373rre8.jpg

Cobra vs Phil Cox vs The Minor Annoyance vs Thunderbolt

Simona was right. Stardust would have fit right in with this group. TMA looks like what would happen if Gollum took up crossfit, but only every third weekend. Cobra comes down to the ring with his pet snake, Hissing Sid, talking to it as the others make their entrances. Thunderbolt wears a cape to the ring, posing heroically on the turnbuckles. Phil Cox watches them all with disgust. Cobra has another short chat with Sid, then this match begins.

It’s not a great match. Thunderbolt and Cox use their speed to hit and run, as much as they can. What’s frustrating is that while both are vets with a decade of experience, neither are very consistent. Cobra, greener than any in the ring by a fair margin, is way more reliable. The brawler, and largest man in the match, carries a lot of the action. TMA takes a lot of offense from everyone.

To everyone’s surprise, The Minor Annoyance actually almost wins, hitting his finisher - the Double Stomp (Double Stomp) - on Cobra. Thunderbolt breaks it up, hitting a DDT on TMA. Cobra recovers and fights with Thunderbolt. They spill outside, allowing Phil Cox to hit the Starburst (Top Rope Fist Drop) on TMA for the win.

Phil Cox defeats Cobra, The Minor Annoyance and Thunderbolt. Rating: 36

http://i.imgur.com/HnkJrll.jpg</div>

Simona is working on a small laptop backstage, drinking what looks like an overpriced coffee. Nick Adams, ZEN-I’s road agent and the world’s biggest Crocodile Dundee fan, approaches her. “Hey, Simona-”

Simona holds up a finger to silence him. He waits while she takes a long drink of coffee and looks up. “Nick. How nice to see you. I was led to believe that the only reason you would approach me during the show was in the case of an emergency.”

Nick doesn’t really have time for this shit and doesn’t have the acting skills to pretend he does. “No emergency. Someone just delivered a package for you. It’s… big.”

She arches a perfectly styled eyebrow. The double entendre is not lost on her. “I didn’t order anything.”

“You should come see this,” Nick says. Simona sighs heavily, but Nick misses it. She sighs again, genuine this time, closes her laptop and follows him.

Nick quickly leads her through a few small hallways in the depths of the venue. They reach a more open area. It looks like a loading dock. Standing before them, perched on the top of a wide stone pedestal, is a massive stone gargoyle statue. It’s a simple statue, with stone wings spread wide and the body in a clear attack pose. Nick hands her a card. “It came with this.”

“’Congratulations on your first show. A little token of my esteem. To activate, add whiskey. Signed, a secret admirer’.” Simona waves the card at the statue. “Who delivered this?”

Nick shrugs. “A worker told me it was here. Didn’t recognize him, but there’s a lot of new guys running around tonight. By the time I had a chance to check out this statue, guy was gone.”

Simona circles the statue, admiring it from all angles. She leans past it address Nick. “So, do you have any whiskey?”

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/HnkJrll.jpg</div>

Matthew Macks is here! The Irish Daredevil makes his way to the ring, accompanied by a very warm welcome. Not surprisingly, really, as Macks is very likable and the only Irish-born performer on this card. He greets the crowd down the ramp, slapping hands and bumping fists. In the ring, Macks takes off his hat and tosses it into the audience.

“Your Main Man Matthew Macks is in the building! Can I get a ‘Heeeeeeeey’?” The crowd obliges and Macks thanks them by speaking several lines of Gaelic. He switches back to English. “Now, I know you’re all ready to have some fun. Things are about to take-off, and we’ll see where Red Lightning strikes tonight. And here’s the thing, Matthew Macks is here to stay and here to win. I happen to have a -”

Rock music cuts off Macks. Out from the back comes Englishman JK Lee. The crowd lustfully boos him. JK smiles and waves, gathering a mic before entering the ring. He waits while the crowd quiets. “I don’t blame you,” he says. “I’m not here to run you down, Matthew, or Ireland. I’m not some cardboard villain out to spout lines.”

“Then why are you out here?”

“I’m your opponent for the evening. I just wanted to introduce myself - JK Lee, by the way - and wish you a clean fight.” Lee holds out a hand to shake.

Macks studies it. The crowd yells no. Macks shrugs and goes to shake Lee’s hand. Just before he reaches it, Lee flinches as if going to punch him. Macks jumps back. Lee laughs. “Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I promise.” This time they do shake hands. Macks motions for the bell and our next match is on!

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/GTjIF8C.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/NFsUi90.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/cHUf6UE.jpg

JK Lee vs Matthew Macks

Well, the crowd is definitely more behind Macks than anyone else so far. A clear fan favourite for ZEN-I. Lee is a little bland at this point. Lee’s solid technical base is used to slow down the speedy Macks. The match ebbs and flows, with Macks dominating some fast-paced sections and Lee slowing the action down as much as he can, doing a lot of work on the legs. It’s not a great match, but it could certainly be better. Lee seems a little off tonight.

Macks ends up missing his trademark finisher, Red Lightning (Swanton Bomb), when Lee moves. The Englishman pounces quickly, locking in his Crossface finisher and Macks quickly taps.

JK Lee defeats Matthew Macks. Rating: 34

</div>

The crowd boos the result, but the two combatants share a congenial handshake after the match. Macks holds up Lee’s hand in victory, but the crowd keeps booing. Simona’s music hits and out comes the booker of ZEN-I. She has apparently left the gargoyle statue for now. She reaches the ring and shoos the two men out.

“Great. Fantastic job. Both of you are stars.” Simona’s tone is one of pure condescension. “JK Macks and Matthew Lee, everybody.” The crowd boos her. Simona laughs. “Of course I know their actually names, you morons, I pay them. I am out here to make an important announcement. ZEN-Ireland’s destiny is to become the crown jewel in the ZEN Worldwide Alliance, especially under my guidance. So we need a great champion. Our first ever Champion will be named next month.”

“But who will compete for this prestigious title?” Simona asks, really playing this up. “How will I ever decide? Ha. I’ve already decided. Our roster didn’t know, but tonight was actually the opening round. Next month, the ZEN-I championship match will be between the winners of our matches tonight! Jacques DuPont, Jonni Lowlife, Phil Cox and JK Lee have secured their berths in the final. And since our last match is between the two premier tag teams of ZEN-I, and I am in a giving mood, the winning team will get spots in the final, not just the man who makes the pin. So, without further ado, because it’s gross and hot out here and cool backstage, our main event of the evening!”

Davey Celtic and Davey London, the Anglo-Scots Connection, are the first ones out, along with their shared manager, Marbella. All three are dressed in football gear. Davey Celtic wears his Celtic jersey, London an Arsenal kit, and Marbella wears a Leicester City kit, but it’s a little small for her. Celtic and London even have footballs. It’s a party atmosphere. London boots his ball into the crowd, while Marbella takes the other.

The mood changes when the Northern Lights, Riddick Jordan and Alton Vicious, enter. They are all business, striding to the ring, faces set with determination. There is no pandering to the crowd, no props and no manager. The Anglo-Scots take off their jerseys and get ready to fight. Davey London to start against Riddick Jordan.

The camera cuts to the rafters above the ring, focusing on a figure, dressed in bright white robes, lurking up among the rafters. “Who is that?” Melanie Florence wonders out loud.

However, since the figure is wearing white, everyone in the ring notices. London points up at them and Jordan clearly says ‘Who the f-?’ Only the ref doesn’t seem to notice, as he calls for the bell and match begins!

<div style="text-align:center;">http://i.imgur.com/AXaN3WO.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/oZ9u1kH.jpg W/ http://i.imgur.com/VUlQi4t.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/NFsUi90.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/YGkZBhe.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/H2NG35P.jpg

The Anglo-Scots Connection (w/ Marbella) VS The Northern Lights

There’s a lot of back and forth in the early going, as all four men get a chance to shine multiple times. The Northern Lights take control when Alton Viscous lives up to his name, throwing Davey Celtic into the ringpost. From that point on, they take serious control. Quick tags and brutal, brutal attacks keep the pressure on. The Lights are merciless. Celtic takes quite a beating. At one point, Jordan is stomping him down, while Alton, on the apron, calls the ref over to distract him. Seeing this, Jordan grabs Celtic’s hair and looks for a cheap shot, but Celtic lands a low blow kick instead. The crowd loves it. Celtic slips past the hobbled Jordan - Alton is complaining even louder now - and makes the tag.

Davey London’s hot tag is fantastic. The crowd is electric. The match, predictably breaks down. London is throwing around kicks equally to Jordan and Viscous. Celtic’s back in it, taking Jordan out of the ring. Viscous hits a huge backbreaker on London. Outside, Celtic grabs the ball from Marbella and hurls it at a charging Jordan. It bounces off his head and Jordan sells it like he’s been shot.

London turns things around in the ring, countering a powerbomb into a rana. Celtic flies in from the turnbuckle, hitting a Cannonball Legdrop on Viscous. Viscous staggers into a sitting position. London bounces off the ropes, drilling him with a hard kick. 1, 2, 3.

The Anglo-Scots Connection defeats the Northern Lights. Rating: 47

Show Rating: 41</div>

POST - CREDITS SCENE

Sometime after the show, a lone figure is just finishing up in an otherwise deserted locker room. He is just tying a pair of expensive looking dress shoes. A light green smoothie sits on the bench beside his duffel bag. The room is poorly lit, but as the man straightens, we see that it’s JK Lee.

Another person enters the room, standing just enough in frame to be visible, but not enough that he can be identified. “That was too close.”

JK is startled, but recovers quickly. “I had it under control.”

“And if you didn’t?”

“I would’ve found a way,” he shrugs. JK stands and faces the newcomer. “Look. You hired me for results. And I’m getting them. Relax.”

The newcomer takes a step towards JK, but still remains mostly hidden in shadow, with his back to the camera. “I’m risking a lot here. You’re risking nothing and you’re worth nothing. You’re expendable. Get the job done or I’ll find someone that can.”

JK takes a short step back, trying to hold his ground. “I’ll get it done.” JK grabs his stuff and slips past the other man, calling back as he passes the camera. “Have a little faith.”

The other man turns to watch him go. We only see a glimpse, but the macabre monochromatic mask leaves no doubt. It’s Cyanide. “I lost my faith long ago.”

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