GilmourGuy Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 http://i.imgur.com/UoDyjCC.jpg A dark basement room, somewhere in Wellington, New Zealand. Seven shadowy figures sit at eight spots, dramatically illuminated by matching tablets in front of them. One of them appears to be sleeping. The figure at the head of the table - oddly wearing a hood as well - stands. "I'm going to call this meeting to order. We can't wait for Flea any longer... why does he even have a space at the table?" "It is his parents' house." "Whatever. Someone wake up Paul. Let's get started." He taps his tablet a few times. "Financial report. Cy?" Another figure stands. "Thank you, Frankie. As you all know, we've spent the last month putting the Kickstarter money to good use." He taps his tablet, causing a projection screen on the wall to light up with a diagram of a pie chart. "As you can see, 25% went to paying off debts and loans. 20% went towards reopening the Dojo, albeit on the cheap." "Who's training there?" asks another board member. Before anyone can answer, he holds up a plate. "Also, does anyone want a muffin? Freshly baked." "Paul's in charge," the hooded figure answers. "At least, he will be. Between naps." "Did you keep your receipts for this?" Cy asks, motioning to the circulating plate of muffins. He taps his tablet again, adding a very thin wedge on the chart that reads 'Baking Related Expenses.' He motions to a blue wedge. "This narrow wedge - 5% - represents the amount of money we have invested. Mostly in lottery tickets." "What's that huge green wedge then?" "The money we spent on these awesome tablets." Cy holds his up. "Aw shit. It froze." “Shake it!” “Jiggle the cord!” "Press ALT CTRL DELETE." "It's a tablet!" "Wait!" the hooded figure stands again. "Are we broke? Again?" All of a sudden, the lights come on, flooding the room with light and causing all the occupants to cry out and shield their eyes. The 'conference table' they sit around is actually an old card table, covered with a large 'ZEN ART OF WRESTLING' logo. The board members are all recognizable as core members of the promotion, mostly because they are wearing their colourful ring gear. Devilfish, Super Zero, Cyanide, Shaolin, Sparky Sparks, Classey Paul Massey, and, of course, Halloween Knight himself. "Ah, dudes. Sorry. I didn't know you were here." The newcomer is a skinny guy with blue hair. "I had to run back here to get my phone." "I thought you wanted to be part of this committee, Flea," Devilfish says, pointing a finger. Beside him, Shaolin nods emphatically. "Yeah, I just forgot we were having a meeting, because my schedule's actually on my phone and I forgot my phone. Crazy, right?" "It's really not," Knight says. Shaolin shakes his head emphatically. "Look, we can continue with the meeting, but I just have to make a really important phone call first. Oks?" Without waiting for an answer, he plugs a number into his phone. Oddly enough, Cyanide's phone begins to ring. Cyanide looks up from where he's fiddling with his frozen tablet, the fancy pie chart on the wall replaced by the fabled 'BlueScreen of Death'. He puts down the tablet and pulls out his phone. With a long look at Blue Flea, Cyanide answers tentatively. "Hello?" "Yo, Cyanide, bro! Good news, dude! We won the freaking lottery!" Everyone in the room cheers, loud enough to cause Paul Massey to snort in his sleep. "Good news, boys," Halloween Knight exclaims, "the expansion is back on!" Universidad Anahuac Mexico Norte Mexico City, Mexico Markers squeak on a whiteboard. "And so, by using this equation, we can determine the mass of the atom." A tall woman, raven hair tied back demurely in a bun, lectures before a full theatre of students. "The measurements must be taken quickly, as the atom is very unstable." She adds some notations to a board full of equations. "This is supposed to sound like a physics lecture, but as the writer was an English Major, he has no idea what a physics lecture would sound like. And he's too lazy to Google it. Also, obviously, this would be happening in Spanish." The professor glances at her expensive watch. "Oops. Out of time for today." Her students start to gather up their things. "Remember to read Chapters 7 and 8 by the end of next week. And your assignment is due on Thursday!" The rest is lost in the cacophony of students leaving. The crowd parts, revealing Halloween Knight (in his full gear and hood). He clears his throat. "Professor Ortega?" She turns back to him and gasps. "Frankie! <insert Spanish exclamation here>!" Professor Gabriela Ortega strides over to him. Knight opens his arms wide, expecting a hug. Instead, she slaps him. Hard. "That was for leaving me in San Juan!" "I've never been to San Juan!" Knight yells, flexing his jaw. "This is my first time in Central America and, let me tell you, I'm not loving it. It's so damn hot. And why are there so many people in this city? Why do they all live here? This isn't New Zealand." "What are you doing here, Frankie?" "We're expanding, Gabriela. Going international. A ZEN empire. And we want you to run the Mexican side." She taps her chin, thoughtfully. "I don't know. Ever since MPWF closed, I got out of the game. I'm teaching, writing, filming infomercials, learning to play nose flute, things like that. I'm not sure if I want to get back in." "You owe me one, Gabriela." "Why, because I slapped you?" "One word,three syllables. Liechenstein." "Damn. You got me. I'm in." The Garage Club Glasgow, Scotland A lone figure sits in a small, plain locker room, towel over his head. Five minutes in the ring. A hundred booing fans. Left counting the lights at another dank bar. A greasy, gelatinous blob wearing the tacky suit of SNP owner Mark Carnie sticks his head into the change room. "Hey, Jay." The undead piece of turkey gristle tosses him a envelope. "There's your pay for the night." Jay quickly counts the pounds. "Hey. This is light. Where's my cut of merchandise sales?" The world’s best natural cosplay of Ghostbusters' Slimer laughs. It's the worst noise ever made. "Ha! We only sold one of your shirts. To some chick who threw up on it. I kept it as a transactional fee." Jay just sighs. As much as he hated the oddly coloured pit stain, he needed the work. "By the way," says the raw material from the 'How Chicken Nuggets Are Made' video, "there's a guy looking for you. Seems a little kinky. You can talk to him in here if you want, but if you're still back here in ten minutes, I'm charging you admission." He smiles, showing off taxpayer funded dental work. "Children's admission." Carnie disappears, only to be replaced by the monochromatic visage of Halloween Knight. Jay jumps to his feet, promptly tripping. "Uh, Frankie! Hey! What brings you here?" Knight nods towards the exit. "Is that really the owner? I'm surprised it's capable of conscious thought." "He really isn't. So... what brings you to Glasgow?" "You, Jay. We need your help." "Wow? Really?" "Sort of. I mean, you weren't on our short list, but 21CW has really signed a lot of talent up." "Oh." "I guess what I'm asking is... Jay Coward, are you ready to become a Major Annoyance?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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