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SNP: Now with 10% more scumbaggery


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Scottish National Promotions is a hardcore promotion run by a grifter and all-around dirtbag appropriatly named Mark Carnie. I can't believe it took me this long to notice it and jump right in. It's like Mr. Ryland made this place just for me. The top draw is named Roly Muckletruck, how could I not love it?

 

Immediate goal for me is simply cash. As a hardcore company, it will be difficult to get TV coverage, so better just to create one. Owner goals just came in; Improve company rank, don't fall into debt, no MMA guys or old dudes. Seems easy enough.

 

We are overloaded on wrestlers right now, which is not exactly ideal for financial reasons. I'm letting it go for now, as I'm sure some quitting and firing is forthcoming with my locker room 'skills'. Especially since I'm cutting out a bunch of perks to save money. I'm pretty sure sponsorship isn't going to be much.

 

Another rule just hit the inbox: Hire no one with legal trouble. From the guy who literally hired strippers off the streets, this seems a touch hypocritcal, but okey-dokey.

 

Near the end of week 2, two of my guys are already getting offers from those bastards down in 21CW. Guess that'll help the wages a bit. Still, bastards, because it's going to be top of the card guys.

 

So, down two guys already, let's get right to....

 

SNP Burns Night Bash 2016

 

And no, I have no idea what that name is about.

 

Off to the incident report. For those keeping score, we're starting at 58% backstage rating. Thumper Simmons has a chair in his portrait, so probably best we're sending him home rather than letting wrestle drunk. He gets a fine, and gets pissy. Next up is JK Lee getting hauled up into wrestler's court by Maximum Destuction, which is an awesome name for a judge. The honorable Mr. Destruction is half of a soon-to-be-broken tag team, the other half running off to 21CW in a few days.

 

300 people are stunned I'm booking the C-Verse again.

 

All matches are hardcore unless otherwise noted.

 

Phil Myart and Dwayne Dark vs Axl Grease and Norman Gates

 

Three of the four have a pre-existing storyline, so that's as good a reason as any for this. Dark and Gates got crapped all over by the vocal crowd. At least it's an even split of contempt. Phil Myart got the pin, as he's the guy with title in the match. Rating: E+

 

And I'm out for a hype promo. It seems I imported my Road to Glory character rather than my usual invisible man one, so to jobberdom I go. I'm going to be putting over Ultra Violence, because that's the kind of name I like to see. Rating: E+. Fitting in already with that rating.

 

Darin Walker vs Ultra Violence

 

They don't like this guy anywhere near as much as I do, as they reacted even wors than they did with Dark and Gates. Yikes, this is going to be fun. We did have good chemistry, which was discovered as he quickly squashed me for the win. Rating: E. I got his performance skills up anyway.

 

Bob Effette and Augustus Bumblescoop are out for a promo, becuase Efette's good with the mic and Augustus has that name going for him. Rating: E

 

Bob Effette and Augustus Bumblescoop vs The Funke Bunch

 

And the mic is all he had going for him, as he struggled to keep up with this mediocre bunch. They were just here to lose anyway, so no big deal. At least the crowd wasn't crapping on this one. Rating: E

 

SNP King of Scotland Meathead McAuallie is out to judge a bikini contest. It's good to be the king. Kitty Katz wins over Joy in what is unsurprisingly the segment of the show thus far. Somehow Meathead underperformed. They make pills for that, right? Rating: D+. Have strippers, will strip.

 

The Northern Lights vs Maximum Damage

for the SNP Tag Team titles

 

Maximum Carnage is off to the Brits, so three guesses how I booked this one. The Northern Lights retain in a less well recieved segment than the bikini girls. Rating: D-. Good thing I'm used to angle-heavy products, huh?

 

Roly Muckletruck vs Milo Morningstar

 

I kept this one short, as Roly's pic alone makes me fear he'll gas after 5 minutes. Meathead came in to interrupt and get this one thrown out as a contest. He interfered so hard he broke Milo's arm. Outstanding. Rating: E

 

And to end the show all three of them fight. Milo must look extra tough, fighting with literally one hand. Gotta love hardcore shows. Rating: E

 

Final Show Rating: E+. Seems Scotland loves hardcore shows too, despite the complaining. Post-show I tell Ultra Violence to not be so bad, and hug the girls, because I'm a perv. Why do you think Carnie hired me?

 

Norman Gates apparently took the crowd's reaction to heart, as he's leaving for 21CW along with Carnage. Fine by me.

 

We continue on to see what the bottom line is, as some wrestler or another once said. A loss of 10 grand. Hm, well I can live with it, as we can continue this way for long after I'm dead and buried. Not that I'm going to stop pinching pennies anyway.

 

So join us next time, as we ruin the public image of Scotland's wrestling scene for years to come. Who wouldn't want to see that?

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<p><strong>SNP Burns Night Bash 2016</strong></p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>A Burns supper is a celebration of the life and poetry of the poet Robert Burns (25 January 1759 – 21 July 1796), the author of many Scots poems. The suppers are normally held on or near the poet's birthday, 25 January, occasionally known as Robert Burns Day (or Robbie Burns Day or Rabbie Burns Day) but more commonly known as Burns Night (Scots: Burns Nicht). However, in principle, celebrations may be held at any other time of the year. </div></blockquote><p> </p><p> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burns_supper" rel="external nofollow">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burns_supper</a></p>
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<p>I hope this doesn't mean you'll stop writing your other diary. :/</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Darin Walker" data-cite="Darin Walker" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Immediate goal for me is simply cash. As a hardcore company, it will be difficult to get TV coverage, so better just to create one. Owner goals just came in; Improve company rank, don't fall into debt, no MMA guys or old dudes. Seems easy enough.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> SNP starts with a ****load of money for a small company due to Mark Carnie being a <strike>conman who managed to squeeze loads of cash out of those buffoons in the NAC</strike> genius who's great at attracting generous and farsighted investors, so unless you actually get an Owner's Goal to make money you won't have to worry too much about cash for quite some time yet. If I recall correctly there will even be at least one in-game auto-event that "trigger" more cash for the company later. </p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Darin Walker" data-cite="Darin Walker" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Another rule just hit the inbox: Hire no one with legal trouble. From the guy who literally hired strippers off the streets, this seems a touch hypocritcal.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Why, are you assuming that strippers would be having legal troubles? What's your prejudice against those who used their god-given natural assets to earn an honest living. <img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p>
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<p>Enjoyed the first post, following! <img alt=":)" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/smile.png.142cfa0a1cd2925c0463c1d00f499df2.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p>

Btw, when I'm playing C-Verse, I often see stories about some girl walking out because Carnie's a scumbag. Can that still happen when you're booking there?</p>

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<p>Call it a pet peeve, but I have a hard time following diaries without images of the workers, yet this one is wacky enough and well written so it hooked me in already. A+ would read more shows.</p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="EBEZA" data-cite="EBEZA" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Btw, when I'm playing C-Verse, I often see stories about some girl walking out because Carnie's a scumbag. Can that still happen when you're booking there?</div></blockquote><p> Pretty sure the whole "indy sleaze" and "scumbag promoter" stuff works for AI only. Never happened to me and I've booked for a fair share of dreadful owners. Worst case, they give you some crazy goal, like when I ran DIW and Milton Hittlespritz injured the Comedian, so I was given a goal about poor Milton not being allowed to rise past a certain popularity threshold <img alt=":D" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p>
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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Hashasheen" data-cite="Hashasheen" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><strong>SNP Burns Night Bash 2016</strong><p> </p><p> A Burns supper is a celebration of the life and poetry of the poet Robert Burns (25 January 1759 – 21 July 1796), the author of many Scots poems. The suppers are normally held on or near the poet's birthday, 25 January, occasionally known as Robert Burns Day (or Robbie Burns Day or Rabbie Burns Day) but more commonly known as Burns Night (Scots: Burns Nicht). However, in principle, celebrations may be held at any other time of the year. </p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> That makes sense. And I missed a chance to have Roly recite poetry. Next year, mayhap. Thanks for the info though.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Greylocke" data-cite="Greylocke" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I hope this doesn't mean you'll stop writing your other diary. :/</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Nah, just a little break to prevent burnout. I can't tell you how much I wish I could get Jack and NDK over to Scotland.</p><p> </p><p> Glad to hear about the cash infusion possibly coming to, as profitability is not exactly my forte. I believe in Carnie's vision; he'll pull through for me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>What's your prejudice against those who used their god-given natural assets to earn an honest living. </div></blockquote><p> </p><p> As my wife and accountant will tell you, I have nothing but love for strippers. I'm not blind to the inherent risks in the profession though. Good thing they're in a healthier work environment here!</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Big Cart" data-cite="Big Cart" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>If it’s half as good as your other diary this will be well worth reading. </div></blockquote><p> </p><p> If it's half as good, it will double my expectations.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="EBEZA" data-cite="EBEZA" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Enjoyed the first post, following!<p> </p><p> Btw, when I'm playing C-Verse, I often see stories about some girl walking out because Carnie's a scumbag. Can that still happen when you're booking there? </p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Welcome to the party; grab a beer and cozy in.</p><p> </p><p> As for the walkouts due to Mr. Carnie, I don't know, but plenty of folks walk out on me, so we'll say yes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="DarK_RaideR" data-cite="DarK_RaideR" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Call it a pet peeve, </div></blockquote><p> </p><p> It's a pet peeve. <img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="DarK_RaideR" data-cite="DarK_RaideR" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>but I have a hard time following diaries without images of the workers, yet this one is wacky enough and well written so it hooked me in already. A+ would read more shows.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> I appreciate that, especially overcoming your inclinations with my bad humor, grammar, and booking. Expect more of the same going forward.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Pretty sure the whole "indy sleaze" and "scumbag promoter" stuff works for AI only. Never happened to me and I've booked for a fair share of dreadful owners. Worst case, they give you some crazy goal, like when I ran DIW and Milton Hittlespritz injured the Comedian, so I was given a goal about poor Milton not being allowed to rise past a certain popularity threshold</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> I'm kind of disappointed, if that's the case. Working around Carnie's penile intrusions would have been fun. Less so for the ladies, but more for my booking.</p><p> </p><p> Fun fact: I never get those petty kind of owner goals. I just do it for free.</p><p> </p><p> </p><div style="text-align:center;"><p>-----------------------------------</p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p> Dull couple of weeks leading up to the show, so let's get right to the dull stuff I book...</p><p> </p><p> <strong>SNP Carnage</strong></p><p> </p><p> Hey look, Thumper's drunk again. Hey look, Thumper's getting fined and sent home again. Meantime JK Lee started a fight with Rohan Kirchner, and told to stop being a jerk, jerk. Nobody's real happy with that. Finn Funke was hauled up to wrestler's court, which as usual is far more effective then coming to me with this crap. Just for fun, I pulled a elaborate rib on the boss. Carnie was not happy. Neither was anyone else. The Walker method of locker room control continues. 42% and falling!</p><p> </p><p> I decided to tell Roly to put on some more weight. I'm literally going to turn him into Fat Bastard, I swear.</p><p> </p><p> 300 fans wonder if Thumper's ever going to wrestle here.</p><p> </p><p> I start this show, mentioning my last match was just a fluke, and tonight I'll prove it by beating Alton Vicious. <strong>Rating: D-</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Darin Walker vs Alton Vicious</strong></p><p> </p><p> Spoliers: No I won't. Alton takes a bit longer beating the crap out of me, until he gets bored and chucks me over the top rope, smashing me into a table full of drunks. The pinfall was just for fun at that point. <strong>Rating: D-</strong></p><p> </p><p> As I attempt to stagger my broken body out of the club that passes for an arena here, Roly Muckletruck decides to help me out and tosses me through the front door, into the street and right into a passing car. <strong>Rating: C-</strong>. I don't think these guys like me much.</p><p> </p><p> Bob Effette is out, using his one main asset, talking. <strong>Rating: E</strong>. I didn't say it was an effective asset.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Bob Effette vs Ultra Violence vs Maximum Destruction vs Dwayne Dark</strong></p><p> </p><p> Ultra Violence still sucks. Just ask the fans. Laurel Wreath did some good work at ringside for whoever she manages, and Dwayne Dark wins because he sucks less than the rest of them. <strong>Rating: E</strong>. Slightly less.</p><p> </p><p> Kitty Katz is out to be sexy. Not nearly as good as Roly commiting attempted murder on me though. Mostly killing time while they set up the cage for the next match.<strong>Rating: D+</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Rohan Kirchner vs Riddick Jordan</strong></p><p><strong> MMA Rules</strong></p><p> </p><p> Yeah, cage and all. Despite how short that last sentence was, this match was shorter, as Riddick knocked him out in one punch. <strong>Rating: E</strong>. Quality over quantity.</p><p> </p><p> While they're tearing the cage back down, Roly and Meathead McAullie are brawling, apparently deciding to start early. Drunken approval ensues. <strong>Rating: E+</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Phil Bridge vs Phil Myart</strong></p><p><strong> Ultimate deathmatch for the SNP Hardore title</strong></p><p> </p><p> Yeah a match is going on while two other guys are brawling outside. Welcome to SNP, folks. Mostly booked because I wanted to see who'd work a deathmatch, Phil Myart retains. I'm honestly surprised no one's been injured so far. <strong>Rating: E</strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong>Roly Muckletruck vs Meathead McAullie</strong></p><p><strong> for the King of Scotland title</strong></p><p> </p><p> And it finally gets in the ring. I overbooked the hell out of this, quite rightly figuring Roly would be a mess otherwise. He'll improve once he gets to 350 pounds, I feel. Roly finally does get the win, as I'm one of those guys who feel your best draw should hold the biggest title most times. <strong>Rating: D+</strong>. And I love booking fat guys.</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Show Rating: D-</strong></p><p> </p><p> Post-show, I thank the two Phils for the deathmatch, and tell Roly how awesome he is. Because he is. </p><p> </p><p> Thumper gives his notice. Probably drunk. He will be missed by the zero fans he's gotten since I got here.</p><p> </p><p> End of month comes, and I've dropped the loss down to five grand now. Awesome. Profit forthcoming in like, ten years or so.</p><p> </p><p> Join us next time for SNP Blood Feud II. I totally missed Blood Fued I. I won't miss this though!</p>
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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Darin Walker" data-cite="Darin Walker" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I'm honestly surprised no one's been injured so far. <strong>Rating: E</strong></div></blockquote><p> They're some tough bastards. Also, you may not be using Stunt/Crazy Bumps enough. And by using, I mean spamming.</p>
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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="DarK_RaideR" data-cite="DarK_RaideR" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Pretty sure the whole "indy sleaze" and "scumbag promoter" stuff works for AI only. Never happened to me and I've booked for a fair share of dreadful owners.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Disappointed!</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Darin Walker" data-cite="Darin Walker" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I'm kind of disappointed, if that's the case. Working around Carnie's penile intrusions would have been fun. Less so for the ladies, but more for my booking.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Agreed! I'd be tempted to do an SNP save if these instances still came up!</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="DarK_RaideR" data-cite="DarK_RaideR" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>They're some tough bastards. Also, you may not be using Stunt/Crazy Bumps enough. And by using, I mean spamming.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Wholeheartedly agree. If every single person in the match isn't taking at least a stunt bump, what's the point? <img alt=":p" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/tongue.png.ceb643b2956793497cef30b0e944be28.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p> Great write-up, btw. The sarcastic undertones appeal to me!</p>
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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="EBEZA" data-cite="EBEZA" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46554" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Agreed! I'd be tempted to do an SNP save if these instances still came up!!</div></blockquote><p> Come to think of it, why not write/narrate some of those released as having walked out due to something Carnie did? <img alt=";)" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/wink.png.686f06e511ee1fbf6bdc7d82f6831e53.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p>
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