Darin Walker Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Scottish National Promotions is a hardcore promotion run by a grifter and all-around dirtbag appropriatly named Mark Carnie. I can't believe it took me this long to notice it and jump right in. It's like Mr. Ryland made this place just for me. The top draw is named Roly Muckletruck, how could I not love it? Immediate goal for me is simply cash. As a hardcore company, it will be difficult to get TV coverage, so better just to create one. Owner goals just came in; Improve company rank, don't fall into debt, no MMA guys or old dudes. Seems easy enough. We are overloaded on wrestlers right now, which is not exactly ideal for financial reasons. I'm letting it go for now, as I'm sure some quitting and firing is forthcoming with my locker room 'skills'. Especially since I'm cutting out a bunch of perks to save money. I'm pretty sure sponsorship isn't going to be much. Another rule just hit the inbox: Hire no one with legal trouble. From the guy who literally hired strippers off the streets, this seems a touch hypocritcal, but okey-dokey. Near the end of week 2, two of my guys are already getting offers from those bastards down in 21CW. Guess that'll help the wages a bit. Still, bastards, because it's going to be top of the card guys. So, down two guys already, let's get right to.... SNP Burns Night Bash 2016 And no, I have no idea what that name is about. Off to the incident report. For those keeping score, we're starting at 58% backstage rating. Thumper Simmons has a chair in his portrait, so probably best we're sending him home rather than letting wrestle drunk. He gets a fine, and gets pissy. Next up is JK Lee getting hauled up into wrestler's court by Maximum Destuction, which is an awesome name for a judge. The honorable Mr. Destruction is half of a soon-to-be-broken tag team, the other half running off to 21CW in a few days. 300 people are stunned I'm booking the C-Verse again. All matches are hardcore unless otherwise noted. Phil Myart and Dwayne Dark vs Axl Grease and Norman Gates Three of the four have a pre-existing storyline, so that's as good a reason as any for this. Dark and Gates got crapped all over by the vocal crowd. At least it's an even split of contempt. Phil Myart got the pin, as he's the guy with title in the match. Rating: E+ And I'm out for a hype promo. It seems I imported my Road to Glory character rather than my usual invisible man one, so to jobberdom I go. I'm going to be putting over Ultra Violence, because that's the kind of name I like to see. Rating: E+. Fitting in already with that rating. Darin Walker vs Ultra Violence They don't like this guy anywhere near as much as I do, as they reacted even wors than they did with Dark and Gates. Yikes, this is going to be fun. We did have good chemistry, which was discovered as he quickly squashed me for the win. Rating: E. I got his performance skills up anyway. Bob Effette and Augustus Bumblescoop are out for a promo, becuase Efette's good with the mic and Augustus has that name going for him. Rating: E Bob Effette and Augustus Bumblescoop vs The Funke Bunch And the mic is all he had going for him, as he struggled to keep up with this mediocre bunch. They were just here to lose anyway, so no big deal. At least the crowd wasn't crapping on this one. Rating: E SNP King of Scotland Meathead McAuallie is out to judge a bikini contest. It's good to be the king. Kitty Katz wins over Joy in what is unsurprisingly the segment of the show thus far. Somehow Meathead underperformed. They make pills for that, right? Rating: D+. Have strippers, will strip. The Northern Lights vs Maximum Damage for the SNP Tag Team titles Maximum Carnage is off to the Brits, so three guesses how I booked this one. The Northern Lights retain in a less well recieved segment than the bikini girls. Rating: D-. Good thing I'm used to angle-heavy products, huh? Roly Muckletruck vs Milo Morningstar I kept this one short, as Roly's pic alone makes me fear he'll gas after 5 minutes. Meathead came in to interrupt and get this one thrown out as a contest. He interfered so hard he broke Milo's arm. Outstanding. Rating: E And to end the show all three of them fight. Milo must look extra tough, fighting with literally one hand. Gotta love hardcore shows. Rating: E Final Show Rating: E+. Seems Scotland loves hardcore shows too, despite the complaining. Post-show I tell Ultra Violence to not be so bad, and hug the girls, because I'm a perv. Why do you think Carnie hired me? Norman Gates apparently took the crowd's reaction to heart, as he's leaving for 21CW along with Carnage. Fine by me. We continue on to see what the bottom line is, as some wrestler or another once said. A loss of 10 grand. Hm, well I can live with it, as we can continue this way for long after I'm dead and buried. Not that I'm going to stop pinching pennies anyway. So join us next time, as we ruin the public image of Scotland's wrestling scene for years to come. Who wouldn't want to see that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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