Pteroid Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 COMING TO A HIGH SCHOOL GYM NEAR YOU! IT'S WRESTLERS OF MASS DESTRUCTION! COME AND WATCH THE BIGGEST AND TOUGHEST WRESTLERS IN THE HISTORY OF WRESTLING BATTLE IT OUT IN NO HOLDS BARRED FIGHTS TO THE FINISH! BRUCE THE GIANT VS SAM STRONG MR. SUPREME VS RIP CHORD BUBBLES THE CLOWN VS JIMMY POWER CHRISTIAN FAITH VS LIBERTY AND MANY MORE! GET YOUR TICKETS TODAYYYYYY!* *card subject 2 change "Heh heh heh...I am genius." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LigerLiger Posted May 22, 2019 Share Posted May 22, 2019 Who are these jobbers and where is Grapple Goblin? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pteroid Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 WMD Presents: Explosion! From The Kleghorn Elementary School Gym, Kleghorn, Texas Our night began on a solemn note as an innocent young woman: So Innocent By the name of Emma came out to inform the fans that sadly due to a mixup with transportation literally none of the names on the card would be there to wrestle at the Kleghorn Elementary School. Emma (Last name Innocent) apologizes and wishes she could find out how this thing that was definitely gonna happen didn't. She's suddenly cut off by...well we don't exactly know how to categorize that music, suffice it to say it sounds foreign and therefore evil. This heralds the arrival of: THESE...Guys...who? Well they certainly look enough like bad news for the crowd to boo as the two toughs enter the ring and the man in the headdress takes the microphone. He identifies himself as Sheik Ali Al-Avatar and his compatriot as Lucifer Satan and they are...THE UNHOLY ALLIANCE! Of hell and...wherever the hell Sheik's from. Sheik: "AND DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOUR PRECIOUS HEROES ARE!? YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE THE SAM STRONG AND THE BRUCE THE THE THE GIANT ARE!? THEY ARE UP YOUR DECADENT AMERICANS ASSES! HAHAHAHAHA!" He makes a show of putting his hand in his singlet and pulling out a bundle of...airplane tickets!? He holds them over to Satan who pulls out a lighter and sets them on fire, the two of them cackle as the fans boo. Sheik: "YEEEESSSS! BOO ME, YOU AMERICANS, BOO ME ALL YOU WANT! I STOMP ON YOUR CONSTITUTION! I WILL PUT TARP OVER YOUR STATUE OF LIBERTY MWAHAHAHA! NO ONE CAN STOP THE UNHOLY ALLIANCE!" Suddenly banjo music rips through the PA system and a pair of saviors arrive! Who could it be!? Oh. Well Sam Strong they ain't but the two big galoots in overalls run out and send the Alliance running with their tails between their legs, Emma recovers enough to declare that if those two villains wanted to ruin tonight then they'll just have to be in the main event against The Hillbillies! The two villains throw a tantrum but storm to the back and we have a main event clearly on par with Sam Strong vs Bruce the Giant. vs Rolling Johnny Stones vs Moose Mulder Well after that riveting opening we had to bring the crowd back down so what better way than a British Rock and Roller vs a Hockey Playing Canuck? The 'comedy' most entailed Mulder trying to attack Stones with a hockey stick until the young Brit hit the Canadian with a discus clothesline for the pin. Winner: Johnny Stones Post Match Johnny's celebration's are cut short! By A Fancy Lad! Fancy Lad: "Oh my god, look at your, with your rock and roll music and your tasseled gear and your unkempt hair-eugh-you are a disgrace to the monarchy, Mr. Stones, an utter subhuman disgrace! Lowering yourself to wrestle in front of these peasants? Hah! Well thankfully for the Queen's pride a fine upstanding representative of the crown (from Connecticut) is here to let the rabble know how very little they are worth. GOOD DAY!" Nose firmly in the air, this snob storms back to the back, leaving Johnny to shrug, slap hands, and head to the back. Then we had a title ceremony as some unnamed officials (definitely not our production crew) were set to award the Americana championship to a young man who had bested 31 other men in a three day tournament in America's heartland of Hawaii to be crowned the first champion: Chris "Kid America" Caulfield As the rookie sensation was being awarded the belt however, he was interrupted: It's Boss Man Brayfield! Brayfield stormed his way to the ring and laid out the challenge, his man vs Caulfield right now for the belt, saying that his client had been unfairly left out of the tournament because: "The Last Time He Went To Hawaii, He Done Pissed In Their Volcano And Put It Out!" Caulfield, ever the fighting champion as of less than a minute before, accepted the challenge and out came: BY GOD LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIM, AND THE GUT, AND THE LACK OF CARDIO, AND THE ABSENCE OF COORDINATION, ACTUALLY JUST FOCUS ON THE SIZE PLEASE! The massive monstrous Giant Redwood storms the ring and we have a title match! AMERICANA TITLE MATCH vs Chris "Kid America" Caulfield © vs Giant Redwood Young Chris started the match off by waylaying the big man with punches! And more punches! And also punches! Punches with the right AND left hand! Ooooooh there's a punch! And another punch! This is exciting! We definitely aren't stumped on how to book around this human lard bucket! But oh no, a headbutt from Redwood! And a splash! Chris Caulfield's reign as Americana Champion is destroyed before it can even get out of the starting blocks! Winner And NEW Champion: Giant Redwood MAIN EVENT TAG MATCH vs The Unholy Alliance vs The Hillbillies w/Emma Innocence Truly a historic matchup for the first ever WMD event saw a hell-ok, that's actually going a bit far-a hecklacious brawl between The Unholy Alliance of the literal devil and a Sheik vs two hicks only slightly more talented than Giant Redwood. The Sheik and Satan controlled most of the match through their unorthodox tactics of blatantly cheating in front of the referee who was too preoccupied with doing nothing to admonish them on it. BUt with the power of Emma Innocence and almost a dozen audience members cheering them on, the Hillbillies rallied with a double team noggin knocker on the baddies and a do-se-do clothesline to get the pin on the Sheik! Winners: The Hillbillies Everything is right with the world at last, the Hillbillies stand tall in the middle of the ring doing air-banjos for the extremely bewildered audience but an ear-piercing shriek echos through the gym! Oh no, the Unholy Alliance have abducted Emma Innocence, however will the Hillbillies get her back! Guess you'll all have to come back her next month to find ou-WHAT DO YA MEAN THEY'RE BANNING US FOR THE SWEARING IN THE PROMOS! ...CRAP. "Well now what the hell am I supposed to do?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pteroid Posted May 29, 2019 Author Share Posted May 29, 2019 <p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><p><strong>IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY</strong></p><p><strong> AND HATE IS IN THE AIR</strong></p><p><strong> COME ON DOWN TO THE SOUTH ARMADILLO </strong><strong><span style="font-size:8px;">(not Amarillo)</span></strong><strong> HIGH SCHOOL FOR</strong></p><p><strong> WRESTLERS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, LOVE THE BOMB!!!</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong> FEATURING:</strong></p><p><strong> GIANT REDWOOD VS PETE THE HILLBILLY FOR THE AMERICANA CHAMPIONSHIP</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong> AL THE HILLBILLY VS EDWIN D. BASHFORD</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong> ROLLING JOHNNY STONES VS MAD DOG MORTIMER</strong></p><p><strong> </strong></p><p><strong> MOOSE MULDER VS BIG CAT BRANDON</strong></p></div><p></p><p></p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LigerLiger Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 <p><strong>Giant Redwood© </strong>vs. Pete The Hillbilly</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Al The Hillbilly </strong>vs. Edwin D. Bashford</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Rolling Johnny Stones </strong>vs. Mad Dog Mortimer</p><p> </p><p> Moose Mulder vs. <strong>Big Cat Brandon</strong></p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Zarak Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 <p><strong>IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY</strong></p><p><strong> AND HATE IS IN THE AIR</strong></p><p><strong> COME ON DOWN TO THE SOUTH ARMADILLO </strong><strong><span style="font-size:8px;">(not Amarillo)</span></strong><strong> HIGH SCHOOL FOR</strong></p><p><strong> WRESTLERS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, LOVE THE BOMB!!!</strong> </p><p> </p><p> FEATURING:</p><p> <strong>GIANT REDWOOD</strong> VS PETE THE HILLBILLY FOR THE AMERICANA CHAMPIONSHIP</p><p> The greatest wrestler of all time in his prime... Ain't no way he is dropping the belt... I will be the guy with the sign 'If redwood loses we riot' </p><p> </p><p> <strong>AL THE HILLBILL</strong>Y VS EDWIN D. BASHFORD</p><p> Al will to be the next victim of redwood</p><p> </p><p> ROLLING JOHNNY STONES VS <strong>MAD DOG MORTIMER</strong></p><p> The mad dog win to make it his yard</p><p> </p><p> MOOSE MULDER VS <strong>BIG CAT BRANDON</strong></p><p> The big cat wins to set up the money fued with mad dog</p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herrbear Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 <p>Featuring:</p><p> <strong>Giant Redwood</strong> Vs Pete The Hillbilly For The Americana Championship</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Al The Hillbilly</strong> Vs Edwin D. Bashford</p><p> </p><p> Rolling Johnny Stones Vs <strong>Mad Dog Mortimer</strong></p><p> </p><p> Moose Mulder Vs <strong>Big Cat Brandon</strong></p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leohunter Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 <p></p><div style="text-align:left;"><p><strong>Giant Redwood© </strong>vs. Pete The Hillbilly</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Al The Hillbilly </strong>vs. Edwin D. Bashford</p><p> </p><p> <strong>Rolling Johnny Stones </strong>vs. Mad Dog Mortimer</p><p> </p><p> Moose Mulder vs. <strong>Big Cat Brandon</strong></p><p> </p></div><p></p><p></p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolinc Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 <p><strong>giant Redwood</strong> Vs Pete The Hillbilly For The Americana Championship</p><p> </p><p> <strong>al The Hillbilly</strong> Vs Edwin D. Bashford</p><p> </p><p> <strong>rolling Johnny Stones</strong> Vs Mad Dog Mortimer</p><p> </p><p> Moose Mulder Vs <strong>big Cat Brandon</strong></p> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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