WWF 1994[Clash of the Titans]: Trumpmania Now!

[Makhai]

July 21st 1994

 

 

It had been 11 days since Vince McMahon had been jailed, and as Trump rode the Titan Tower elevator to Vince's former office he had little time to lose. The NYPD were everywhere, still auditing, and sealing off records and the tape vault to be used as evidence in the event McMahon filed an appeal of the verdict which everyone assumed would be shot down. This investigation wasn't about that. He had spoken with his own lawyers, they were flabbergasted by the verdict's overreach into American commerce, this would surely devalue the company and if this happened to a less tainted brand they all agreed McMahon would get a new trial.

 

But alas, wrestling is seen as a con-game. And the McMahons have little in the way of remaining credibility after multiple insidious scandals, a verbal outburst that exposed potential corruption, and trashy television like the segment with Heather Hunter on Tuesday Night Titans. After waiting a few days, the team called the office, careful not to let the bugged phones anywhere near Donald himself, and made the company a firm offer to buy them out. To an average person, this might be looked at as a vulturous act. But this is capitalism, and if he learned anything from his father it's to be a killer.

 

Trump immediately issued another $25-million in worthless bonds, and watched Wall St. fall all over themselves buying up. It was how he'd made his comeback after almost going bankrupt in the late 80s after his real estate business tanked and he struggled to find financing for his other projects. The NYC government was burying him in red-tape he officially threw in the towel and began looking for investment to leverage his name.

 

The bond idea was given to him by a female banker whom he'd picked up at Mar-a-Lago. She recommended $100M, but why stop when people are giving away free money? This offering took him over $500M and he was still on the lookout to continue to expand his new empire. The WWF was his two favorite things, undervalued, and sleazy.

 

How do you fix that? You go high-class. And that's exactly what he intended to do, He was going to invest heavily, keep it coastal only and double the ticket prices. He wanted celebrities in the front row, and every major card to be built around the Main-Event like a Don King boxing card. He clapped his hands as the elevator reached it's intended destination with a bell. He and his lawyers walked through the hall and he saw Linda standing at the door. Age had really done a number since he hosted Wrestlemania V, no matter, he wasn't one for double dipping anyway. "Linda, this is terrible what these vultures are doing to you, babe. It's unbelievable. Let's head inside and get this deal signed. I know this whole place is bugged, and I'm not giving these hacks anything they can bury you with."

 

The exchange a quick handshake as Linda thanked him "Um, we do have one thing to discuss. We want a stock buyback-clause." Trump's team funnels into the room as the paperwork is laid out. "You know I can't do that. I'm making a fair offer here, and I don't like this any more than you, but you know I'll take care of you all. I'm a businessman, not a wrestling promoter. Show me profit and I'll sell it back where it belongs as soon as the heat is off." Trump slides his arm around her shoulder and closes the door. "Seriously, I'm a very busy man, and it took a lot of string pulling to get around that auction verdict. I walk out, it goes up for auction months from now, but what's that event called? Summerfest? Summerslam? Right, that is right around the corner, the value of this company is stable right now, but if you have to cancel that show, and then the Survival Series, no value in this for me, I think we both know who's gonna offer." Linda rolls her eyes. "Larry called yesterday."

 

Trump nodded. "He's the only other bidder we've heard of so far." he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his pen, offering it to her. "You can take my offer, or you can watch your daughter shoot her Hustler spread. She's a little heavy for my tastes but, she's young and her pops is famous. She could have a future! Alternatively, I can promise to keep you all on the books and find work here until you can buy it back. Up to you."

 

Linda waivered for a second, she knew Vince wouldn't be pleased, but she took the pen.

 

---

 

Disclaimer: Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. This is fiction and is not intended as a political statement in any way.

[Makhai]

 

Main Event

 

 

Face

1. Bret "The Hitman" Hart
   
2. "Macho Man" Randy Savage
   
3. The Undertaker
   
4. Razor Ramon
   
5. Lex Luger
   
6. Tatanka
   

 

Heel

1. Owen Hart
   
2. Jerry "The King" Lawler
   
3. Yokozuna
   
4. "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels
   
5. Diesel
   
6. Bam Bam Bigelow
   
7. "Double J" Jeff Jarrett
   

 

 

Upper Midcard

 

Face

1. The 1-2-3 Kid
   
2. Bob Backlund
   
3. Koko B. Ware
   

 

Heel

1. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart
   
2. Irwin R. Schyster
   
3. Rick "The Model" Martel
   
4. The Barbarian
   
5. Crush
   

 

Midcard

 

Face

1. Adam Bomb
   
2. Duke "The Dumpster" Droese
   
3. Doink The Clown
   
4. Thurman "Sparky" Plugg
   

 

Heel

1. Pierre
   
2. Kwang
   
3. Johnny Polo
   

 

 

Lower Midcard/Curtain Jerkers

 

Face

1. Jim Powers
   
2. Scott Taylor
   

 

Heel

1. The Brooklyn Brawler
   

 

Women's Division

 

Face

1. Alundra Blayze
   

 

Heel

1. Nobody
   

 

Tag Division

 

Face

1. The Smokin' Gunns
   
2. Men On A Mission
   
3. The Rock n' Roll Express
   

 

Heel

1. The Headshrinkers
   
2. The Heavenly Bodies
   
3. The Bushwackers
   

[Makhai]

Reserved as well.

[Makhai]

Some Good Housekeeping

 

Alright, this is going to be my first foray into the RW(Alt Universe RW?). So I'm looking forward to it, I generally stay away from the fed because they're boring to book, but with this twist, and creative focal-point I'm looking forward to it a great deal. I also really like this era, Hogan is in WCW. And wrestling is ice cold, we're 4 years after Wrestlemania 6, the X-7 of the Hulkamania era and we're 3 years from the official attitude era. Vic Venom is still writing trashy articles for the magazine, and the Rock is in the CFL sleeping on urine-soaked mattresses.

 

So from a wrestling perspective, it's intriguing, and obviously writing Trump as a sleazy behind the scenes animal is going to be another creative centerpiece. Trump's vision on the world, even in 1994 when he's donating to the Clinton re-election campaign and high on the comeback trail is so warped in profoundly different ways than Vince even though they have so much in common. I'm looking forward to showing you all what I think Trump wrestling is. And if you know what happens over the next 3-5 years in Trump's life, then you know this is going to be quite the adventure.

 

I just hope that Adam gives me enough time before TEW 2020 that I get to tell it.

 

And of course, since he's become such a divisive political figure lets make clear, there will be light politics involved, he's involved in politics even in 94. But this is fiction about wrestling, there will be facts there will be rumor and innuendo, and I will stay as true to the character as possible, but again -- this is fiction. If this becomes a problem, if this turns into a political discussion the moderators become ansy with. I will turn this car around and abort. Don't make me do this, please.

 

And as always, thank you for reading!

[Makhai]

<p><span style="font-family:'Franklin Gothic Medium';"><span style="font-size:14px;">August 21st 1994</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Franklin Gothic Medium';"><span style="font-size:14px;">

Mar-A-Lago Golf Course</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Franklin Gothic Medium';"><span style="font-size:14px;">

Plantation, Florida</span></span></p><p> </p><p>

<img alt="IEuIabV.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/IEuIabV.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="wP0MIas.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/wP0MIas.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="J1N58ob.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/J1N58ob.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="Ftzedd3.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/Ftzedd3.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><img alt="2NyQMNI.jpg" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/2NyQMNI.jpg" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>

3 golf carts whizzed down the manicured grass towards the par 5 #4. In the lead cart was Gorilla Monsoon, in the second cart was newly appointed head-of-creatives Pat Patterson and Gerald Briscoe, and in the trailing car was a driving Shane McMahon and the now WWF owner Donald J. Trump. "Have you seen Vince yet?" he asked picking some sod from his white golf shoes flippantly. "Yeah, yeah. Pops says he's gonna be fine, lawyer says he's gonna be out in 5 years tops if the appeal doesn't work." </p><p> </p><p>

As the carts pulled into the tee box, Shane congratulated him again to which Trump grimaced as he pulled his driver. "It's such a shame what that ungrateful city did to you guys. Such a shame." He strode to the box. Placed his ball, and corked a stiff drive, but the ball is taken by the wind, veering into the long grass just before the dog-leg. "Unlucky Mr. Trump," Gorilla said as Trump twirled his club and looked annoyed down the line. "We'll see what the lay looks like, but I'm optimistic." </p><p> </p><p>

As Gorilla strode to the tee, Trump asked about the show in Chicago in a few days. To which Patterson, in his thick oddly-french accent runs down for him. "We're advertising, Bret vs. Owen in the cage match, we've got Undertaker vs. Undertaker, we got in Walter Payton to corner Razor so he can keep Diesel strong, we've got Tatanka vs. Lex Luger" Just as he says this the big man corks a flatline laser way past Trump's ball and hooking the trees to split the dogleg. It's the best shot he's hit all day and he lets out a hoot as it bounces into green space nobody can track.</p><p> </p><p>

"Hell of a shot, Big G." Gerald Briscoe slaps him on the back as he takes a long drag off his cigar. "I think that long drive bet is in the bag boys." As everybody but Trump cackles and has a good time. "Luger vs. Tatanka, isn't he that Indian guy?" Pat calmly says "Yeah, we tried to make him a big star but, his streak has stalled out with the fans and he's not getting over so we're going to give him to Teddy and see what he can do with him." Trump wrinkled his eyes. "You want to give him to a guy like Dibiase? What are you guys doing with him? A fake Undertaker, A toothless fat guy in underwear, and now an Indian? Is he getting into the carnival business? I don't like it at all." </p><p> </p><p>

Patterson and Briscoe look at each other annoyed, "Sir, we've been building this for months what would you suggest." Trump paused as he leaned against his driver and considered. "Lex is money and the Indian isn't, have Lex beat him and join Ted, a guy who looks like a million bucks with the Million Dollar Man." Briscoe walks to take his shot, "But we've been building a streak for years, sir. We should keep it going." Trump scoffed, "Don't care. Do it." </p><p> </p><p>

Briscoe catches his drive off the end of the club but manages to muscle it a hundred or so yards down the middle of the fairway. "A total mishit boys, I'll take it, at least I can find the thing." </p><p> </p><p>

"Remember, I want this thing looking really good, I'm paying a lot of money on a production where's that going?" As Patterson walked to the tee and hit a rather bad looking shot that slices into the rough, Monsoon replies "We're getting new lighting rigs and we're looking into some video package things., we're upgrading our cameras to the new RCA models and we're switching to new audio feeds for directional sound." He pauses, "Sir, are you sure about the music budget?" </p><p> </p><p>

As Shane walks to the tee and hits a decent fade shot right into the center of the dogleg fairway, Trump just looks back. "I'm very sure. I want this to be big-time. Big time doesn't have a house band and lounge acts." Gorilla pauses as everybody begins to climb into their carts. "But we're talking VHS royalties, and PPV fees that would eat into our profit margin substantially." </p><p> </p><p>

Trump just laughed "No, you have to spend money to make money. I want us to have the richest people in town clambering to watch our shows. I've never tried to pick up p---- with self-made music. I find that Aerosmith or Elton John works better." He slid his driver back into the bag and climbed into his cart. "Send me a tape of the show. I wanna see you guys work before I figure out if I can trust you guys to run this or not." </p><p> </p><p>

Everyone piled into their cart and drove off. And strangely enough, Trump found his ball in the edge of the fairway. Must have been a lucky bounce.</p>

[WilburTrey]

I'm intrigued.

[Lord Byron]

So far, you have Trump down to a T; intrigued to see where this is going...

[DevilofNG]

You know what? Forget posting any actual shows. Give us more of the Donald! As a staunch liberal this is hilarious to read. Please tell me he's gonna be an actual character on some of the shows and not just behind the scenes. I demand the next post!

[Makhai]

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="DevilofNG" data-cite="DevilofNG" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="46668" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>You know what? Forget posting any actual shows. Give us more of the Donald! As a staunch liberal this is hilarious to read. Please tell me he's gonna be an actual character on some of the shows and not just behind the scenes. I demand the next post!</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Backstage for a while, but that will change as we go. I actually have most of this mapped out from his end all the way to the end of the diary, and it's just figuring out if I want his kids involved or not, and whether I can get age accurate cuts for them from somebody. The major snags are just figuring out what I'm doing with the wrestling booking from point-to-point, making this wack-a-doodle product I have in my head a thing that doesn't make the whole roster walk out on me, and figuring out how I'm going to work in a prediction contest.</p>