That One Single Ingredient | The RUTHLESS AGGRESSION Era (WWE 2004)

Gouge · December 10, 2021

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THURSDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN

Blackham Coliseum - Lafayette, LA

11,870 fans

Paul Heyman: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and I am the General Manager of SmackDown. And tonight, I bring to you a very special SmackDown. You see here in Lafayette, I will be doing something.... unprecedented. While Triple H on RAW cowers in a corner unwilling to defend his World Heavyweight Championship, Brock Lesnar - for the second week in a row - will defend his WWE Championship here TONIGHT!

The camera pans back slightly to show Brock Lesnar staring at the camera, confidently staring into the camera with his WWE Championship pinned to his shoulder.

Paul Heyman: But who, you might ask, will Brock Lesnar defend his WWE Championship against? Well that will be up to luck! Because tonight....

A-Train and Rhyno pushes a large, gold raffle drum into the screen, promptly turning and crossing their arms towards the camera.

Paul Heyman: ...we will DRAW a random name to challenge the most dominate WWE Champion in it's history. And while Evolution hordes all the men's titles on RAW, SmackDown is the brand of the fighting champion because not only will Brock Lesnar be defending his championship tonight...

The camera pans to the opposite side of the desk, where The Big Show stands tall, menacingly staring with his United States Championship nearly completely covered by his big meaty paws.

Paul Heyman: ...ALL champions will be defending their titles tonight using this same exact method! The World's Largest Athlete next to me will also be defending his United States Championship tonight using this exact drum. Rey Mysterio will additionally be putting his Cruiserweight Championship up for grabs using a minimalized list of SmackDown's cruiserweights. All current SmackDown tag teams will also be placed into this drum when we decide who will take on The Basham Brothers for the WWE Tag Team Championships. Now you might be quick to remind me that No Way Out is in just three weeks... and I would say that you are completely correct! No Way Out will be SmackDown's exclusive swan song before WrestleMania. And I can promise you that most of these championships will be defended then as well! And when I say "most"...

Heyman turns towards Lesnar, then back to the camera with a smile.

Paul Heyman: ... I mean that IF Brock Lesnar is able to successfully defend his WWE Championship for the third week in a row against a random opponent, he will have earned a guaranteed title defense at WrestleMania 20! Which means that it will be the FINAL title defense from Brock Lesnar until then.

Lesnar nods with a smirk on his face as the fans in the arena jeer over that announcement. Heyman neatly folds his hands together before he continues.

Paul Heyman: Lastly, on a final note.... Eddie Guerrero, your time is ticking! As the Royal Rumble champion, you have the right to pick which championship you wish to challenge for at WrestleMania 20. And I will remind you once again that I expect you to challenge Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship and bring that championship to SmackDown! I expect an answer after your match tonight. That is all.

Cameras cut back to ringside, where Michael Cole and Tazz finally greet us.

Cole: We are here from the Blackham Coliseum in Lafayette, LA! Michael Cole and Tazz here at ringside tonight and Tazz, Paul Heyman again putting the WWE Championship up for grabs... you have to wonder why he'd be willing to risk his proclaimed "ultimate champion" of defending yet again after last week's close call!

Tazz: Paul Heyman says we are living in the Lesnar Era, Cole! And come on, we have seen the dominance that Brock Lesnar has shown. He is truly an unstoppable champion, Cole!

Cole: As we've seen many times here on SmackDown, Tazz, nobody is ever truly unstoppable!

Chris Kanyon doesn't make it to the SmackDown cards very often these days and while he was hungry to impress, especially against the Royal Rumble champion, Eddie Guerrero wasn't going down tonight. The Louisiana crowd was hot for Guerrero and it didn't take long for "Eddie" chants to drown out the coliseum.

Eddie controlled the majority of this one and after a small burst of offense from Kanyon, Eddie was able to turn things around with a three amigos followed up by a Frog Splash.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero @ 5:42 (78)

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After the match, Guerrero wastes no time grabbing a microphone while Kanyon stumbles to the back up the ramp.

Eddie Guerrero: Orale! Que pasa, amigos?! So it seems Paul Heyman wants me to make my decision right here, right now!

Eddie nods as the fans cheer in anticipation over hearing Eddie's decision.

Eddie Guerrero: You know, I tell you this carnal... I don't like to be pressured, holmes! And I certainly don't like to be threatened! So Paul Heyman, I hear you want me to do a certain SOMETHING with my opportunity, is that right? Well hell, Eddie Guerrero vs. Triple H sounds pretty okay to me. But you know what sounds even better? Eddie Guerrero vs---

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Cole: What in the hell is the meaning of this? Eddie Guerrero is about to make his decision and Chavo Guerrero is disrespectfully interrupting his uncle!

Tazz: I can't imagine Chavo's very happy after last week, Cole. An opportunity for him to become the WWE Champion was thrown away thanks to Eddie's best friend Chris Benoit.

Cole: What does that have to do with Eddie, though?! Chavo asked Eddie to stay out of the match and he did! What could he possibly want now?

Eddie Guerrero, interrupted by the loud bass of Chavo's music, stares up at the entrance ramp awaiting the arrival of his nephew. The music continues to play as Eddie places his hands on his hips in impatience, finally raising his arms up and mouthing "Chavo?". Seemingly coming from the crowd opposite the ring, Chavo Guerrero does finally appear... but it doesn't seem he is here to talk. With a chain wrapped around his fist, the nephew of Eddie Guerrero aggressively approaches his unsuspecting uncle. And with a stiff blow to the head, Eddie is knocked flat to the ground before the stunned crowd.

Cole: Hey!

Tazz: The hell? What is going on here?!

As a blindsided Eddie lay defenseless on the ground, Chavo continues to lay blows to Eddie's head, continuing to use that thick steel chain. Eddie can only attempt to put his hands up to block Chavo's attacks, but nothing is stopping the younger Guerrero from his assault. Blowing off steam that he's almost certainly wanted to release for a long time, Chavo bloodies his uncle Eddie gruesomely as punches continue to rain down across the forehead of the flailing Eddie Guerrero.

Not before too long, Kurt Angle sprints to the ring as fast as he possibly can as blood stains the mat from Eddie who has been struck unconscious. Chavo quickly rolls out of the ring and makes a mad dash up the ramp. Kurt takes a short moment to check on Eddie, who continues to lay motionless in the ring, before rolling out himself in pursuit of Chavo.

Cole: I cannot believe what I just seen here, partner, but thank goodness for Kurt Angle stopping this assault before it got even worse.

Tazz: I'm speechless, Cole. Chavo and Eddie's relationship has been strained for a long time but to just beat the hell out of your own uncle like that? Totally inexcusable act from Chavo Guerrero here tonight.

Cole: Well as Kurt Angle pursues Chavo through the arena, doctors are currently attending to Eddie Guerrero.

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As we cut back from commercial, Chavo Guerrero is seen dashing through a corridor, looking back occasionally as he attempts to escape the wrath of Kurt Angle. Guerrero makes it to the parking lot and hops in a car that is seen waiting for him with tinted windows.

Kurt Angle catches up to the parking lot just as Chavo closes the door, the car screeching off and peeling away. Angle places his hands on his knees to catch his breath before looking back up and shouting.

Kurt Angle: GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!

But Chavo is long gone. Angle shakes his head and walks back into the arena.

We cut to the APA's "office" as Bradshaw sits alone at the table, puffing on a cigar by himself. In the distance, we hear laughing as voices are heard getting closer.

The FBI, Nunzio front and center, start to casually walk by Bradshaw and his office. Bradshaw pays no mind to them as he continues puffing on his cigar. As the three men walk off screen, Nunzio pops his head back in from stage left and points at Bradshaw.

Nunzio: Ay, fellas, take a look at this.

Stamboli and Palumbo both come back as Bradshaw side-eyes the Italian gang.

Bradshaw: Can I help you, boys?

Nunzio: Nah, nah. Just wanted to say, Bradshaw, me and the boys here... we were impressed by you last week! You know, you and Hardcore Holly taking out Big Show and A-Train? You really, uh, let's say, preso a calci in culo! Y'know, kicked some ass!

Bradshaw picks up his half empty beer can and tilts it towards Nunzio.

Bradshaw: Thanks, neighbor. But somethin' tells me you got somethin' else on your mind other than kissin' my ass, that right?

Nunzio: It ain't always like that, Bradshaw! We can be neighborly! Just know... you and Hardcore's little partnership sounds all well and good but y'see... well, hate to break it to ya', but my boys here want those tag team championships. So do me a favor, will ya'? Stay out of our way.

Bradshaw reaches over the table and picks up a beer can near an empty seat. Bradshaw picks it up and flings it towards Nunzio, who bobbles it in his hand before catching it under control.

Bradshaw: Well it's like I always say my little Italian compagno, I'm just here for a good time. So whether that puts you in my way or not is yet to be seen. So how about you take a chill pill and drink some southern comfort?

The FBI continues towards their betting station, set up opposite of the APA office, as Nunzio cracks the beer open that Bradshaw tossed him. With a sip, Nunzio purses his lips and nods. Stamboli and Palumbo get to work setting up the board.

Nunzio: Hm, not bad. Now that don't make him my paisano or nothin', but ay, at least he's cordial. Okay boys, you heard the boss! Tonight is all about random draws! Four title matches tonight makes four hot bets and a lot of dough on the table!

Billy Kidman and Paul London walk by the betting station, not even bothering to stop. Nunzio throws his hands up.

Nunzio: Ay! Fellas! Come on, we are hot hot HOT tonight! Put your money where your mouth is, let's go!

Kidman and London continue off screen, ignoring Nunzio completely. Nunzio places his hands on his hips as Stamboli and Palumbo continue jotting stuff down on the betting station.

Shannon Moore comes passing by next, Nunzio gets right in his path.

Nunzio: Shannon, buddy, it's bettin' time! Get your pals over here, who you got!? We bettin' on draws and we bettin' on winners, big pot tonight!

Shannon Moore: Forget it, Nunzio! You guys cost me a lot of money last week! And everyone else, too! You gonna pay me back?

Nunzio: Ay, ay! You can't blame us for what Haas and Benjamin did!

Shannon Moore: Well I don't trust you guys! Nobody does anymore!

Moore huffs off as Nunzio throws his arms up in confusion as the betting station remains empty after Palumbo and Stamboli finish writing everything down. All three members of the FBI stand around, Stamboli scratching his head.

Johnny Stamboli: Gee, where is everyone?

Chuck Palumbo: Yeah we're usually packed by now, what gives?

Nunzio: That damn Haas and Benjamin ruined us! They have to pay, boys!

Just then, a loud rolling sound is heard approaching. Nunzio, Stamboli and Palumbo take interest as it comes closer and closer.

It is, in fact, the lottery drum that SmackDown assistant Dawn Marie is pushing with Paul Heyman casually walking alongside her, seemingly out to the stage for the first draw of the night. Heyman puts arm out in front of Dawn, signaling her to stop, as all three FBI members admire the big drum. Nunzio goes to take a look at it, but Dawn quickly slaps his hand away, causing him to yelp and jump back, flailing his fingers around to wave off the pain. Heyman clasps his hands in front of him as he approaches the FBI.

Paul Heyman: Professional setup as always, gentlemen.

Nunzio: Er, thanks Paulie. You come to bet again?

Paul Heyman: Oh, not quite, Nunzio. Matter of fact, I have a better idea.

Suddenly, a foot from off screen knocks the FBI's betting board right onto the ground. With a loud BANG, Palumbo and Stamboli attempt to confront the would-be vandalizer as Heyman gets between the men.

Rhyno, with a sinister laugh, walks into frame from the off screen and gently picks up the FBI's betting board before driving it onto his knee, snapping it in half.

Nunzio: Ay ay, what gives PUNK?!

Nunzio attempts to run after Rhyno, who responds by shoving him into his partners in crime. Rhyno stands behind Heyman as the three quickly come to an understanding that this was Paul Heyman's doing.

Paul Heyman: The games are over, boys. Now not only did you cost us a lot of money which will need to be reimbursed for your stunt last week, you have embarrassed me. And embarrassing me will never be forgotten. Consider your "betting station" banned from the SmackDown arena from this point forward. Now I have a lottery to draw and you can watch from your dressing rooms like everyone else!

Dawn continues pushing the lottery drum as Heyman and Rhyno follow behind. Stamboli and Palumbo comically attempt to put the board back together as Nunzio's attention is quickly diverted towards a commotion being heard nearby. Nunzio pokes his head to the neighboring office of Bradshaw, who is now enjoying a wild poker game with London, Kidman and Shannon Moore. Bradshaw notices Nunzio peeking in.

Bradshaw: Hey partner, not too late to join now!

Nunzio shakes his head in disbelief and stomps off.

Cole: Looks like nobody is safe from the wrath of Paul Heyman, partner.

Tazz: Heyman is not a guy you cross, that's for sure! But that must mean it's almost time for our first drawing!

Cole: Heyman and Dawn Marie are fast approaching the stage for our first drawing tonight! Which title is going to be up for grabs, who is going to be picked?!

Sure enough, Heyman shows up on the stage with his hands clasped over his waist as Dawn huffs and puffs, pushing the heavy lottery drum towards the stage. Once next to Heyman's podium, which has been set during the commercial break, Dawn quickly fixes her hair in the reflection of the gold drum.

Paul Heyman: Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present the very first drawing of the night! For our first contest, the WWE Cruiserweight Championship will be defended. Rey Mysterio, you face a lot of tough competition in the cruiserweight division. And one man from that division will have the opportunity to rip that championship right from your clutches! With that, Dawn, let's get ROLLING!

Dawn begins cranking the handle to the drum, spinning and mixing the shiny balls in the drum. The camera zooms in as the balls bounce around. After a few cycles, Dawn comes to a stop and Heyman reaches his grubby hand inside the drum, plucking one lucky ball from the drum. He snaps the ball in half and pulls out a piece of paper.

Paul Heyman: Oh-ho-ho... Rey Mysterio, you will be defending your WWE Cruiserweight Championship tonight against.... ULTIMO DRAGON!

Tazz: Whoa! Masked showdown here tonight, Cole!

Cole: Ultimo Dragon earned a big win against Tajiri last week, it's only appropriate he gets a title shot here tonight! What a classic match this should be, partner!

For the lottery to draw such a match brought a lot of delight to fans of the masked high fliers. Ultimo and Rey have a lot of respect for each other and as pure-as-white babyfaces, the two gave each other a firm handshake before the start of their match.

This was a back and forth battle between two very experienced cruiserweights. Both combatants were able to get in their rush of offense, but neither were able to take full control. A commercial break in the middle of the match came back to a total stalemate. Mysterio was able to drop toe hold Ultimo into the ropes, but the experienced luchador escaped the clutches of the ropes as Mysterio swung for the 619. As Mysterio stumbled out of the ropes, Dragon went for an Asai DDT, which Mysterio was able to avoid as well. The two quickly sprung up in a battle pose to a scattered applause from the fans.

As Dragon and Mysterio size each other up, Kyo Dai, Tajiri's henchmen, run into the ring and immediately start attacking the two cruiserweights. Referee Brian Hebner pleads for them to stop but as they continue to pummel the two exhausted cruiserweights in the corner, he has no choice but to throw the match out.

Winner: No Contest @ 11:29 (56)

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Cole: This is ridiculous! A terrific match between two very talented cruiserweights is interrupted by Akio and Sakoda, and Ultimo Dragon's title shot is thrown to waste!

Tazz: I can only bet Tajiri set his men out here to get revenge for last week, Tajiri wasn't too happy with the loss he took last week!

Cole: Ultimo Dragon truly earned a title shot tonight and I can't help but feel there's jealousy over luck being on his side as well!

Akio and Sakoda continue their assault on the two men in opposite corners of the ring. Despite the surprise attack, however, Mysterio and Dragon don't take long to start turning the tides on their attackers. Mysterio is able to dispose of Sakoda with a dropkick that sends him over the top rope and Ultimo Dragon tosses Akio right through the second rope. Mysterio and Dragon back themselves up towards the center of the ring before backing up into each other, both springing into fighting mode, not realizing who was behind them. Dragon and Mysterio continue to stare each other down in the middle of the ring in fighting stance, still very much wanting to continue to see who the better man is despite their match being over.

As the two cruiserweights face off in the middle of the ring, Tajiri finally shows his face by scurrying to ringside and taking the Cruiserweight Championship from ringside, clutching it like a baby as he runs to the back. Mysterio quickly rolls out of the ring to chase Tajiri, but is met with a double clothesline from Kyo Dai who have since recovered. Tajiri's mineons similarly run to the back as Mysterio rolls on the ground, Ultimo Dragon looking on in the center of the ring.

Cole: What's this? Tajiri has just escaped with Rey Mysterio's Cruiserweight Championship!

Tazz: I don't know what Tajiri thinks he's the champion again, but Mysterio did take that title from Tajiri last month!

Cole: That doesn't belong to him anymore, Tazz, and Kyo Dai had no business involving themselves in this match-up!

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Cameras cut to the medical bay as Eddie Guerrero is being worked on by a doctor. Eddie looks to still be out of it but just before the doctor finishes putting the bandage over Eddie's head, Eddie starts flailing his arms up. The doctor attempts to keep Eddie calm, but Eddie springs up to his feet, very awake.

Eddie Guerrero: CHAVO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, CHAVO?

Eddie's bandage slips off, showing off his nasty wound that still looks quite fresh. Gritting his teeth, Eddie storms off in pursuit of Chavo, who by now is seemingly several miles away from Lafayette.

Cole: I can't imagine what is going through Eddie's head right now, partner.

Tazz: Absolutely, a wicked betrayal if I've ever seen one. I get Chavo has had frustration but to take it out on your uncle like that is uncalled for. And this has just gotten very personal.

We cut back to the stage where Paul Heyman stands with Dawn Marie next to the drawing drum.

Paul Heyman: One championship match down, three to go! Next it is time for the WWE Tag Team Championships to be defended! The Bashams successfully defended their titles against Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty at the Royal Rumble. Tonight, they defend them again against a randomly drawn tag team here on SmackDown! Take it away, Dawn!

Dawn begins cranking the handle again, revealing a smaller number of balls in the drum to make up for the fact that there are only a handful of tag teams on SmackDown. Just like before, Dawn comes to a stop and Heyman reaches into the drum, pulling out a ball and cracking it open.

Paul Heyman: Doug and Danny Basham, tonight you will defend your WWE Tag Team Championships.... against the World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin!

Tazz: Oh man, another big time title defense here tonight, Cole!

Cole: What a big opportunity for the World's Greatest Tag Team!

The Bashams have been dominate against every team they've taken on and with Shaniqua on their side here, they did their best to remain their composure despite a limited amount of time to prepare for a title defense.

The match stayed back and forth with Shaniqua very often getting involved to keep the World's Greatest at bay when their momentum got high. At one point, Doug and Danny switched behind the referees back to try and sneak a quick victory, but Haas and Benjamin were on another level tonight and would not go down despite all the tricks the Bashams had.

Towards the end, a nearfall from Danny on Haas caused a four way brawl in the middle of the ring. Benjamin would hit a superkick on Doug to knock him out the ring and Benjamin would follow to keep him out of it. Danny went for a leg lariat that ended up getting reversed to a quick exploder suplex, followed up by the Haas of Pain being locked on.

Shaniqua would immediately try to crawl into the ring, but Benjamin would grab her legs and pull her right back while Danny had nowhere to go. Hold on as he might, he just had to give up when it was clear Doug wasn't saving him anytime soon.

Winner: World's Greatest Tag Team @ 10:42 (62)

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Cole: Ohhhh my, new champions, Tazz! The World's Greatest Tag Team are 3-time WWE Tag Team Champions!

Tazz: Land of opportunity here on SmackDown, Cole! There are still two more opportunities for titles to change hands here on SmackDown!

Cameras cut to the back where Chris Benoit is seen watching the monitor from his dressing room, cranking his neck as two more title opportunities are up for grabs.

Without so much as a knock, Kurt Angle shows up in Benoit's locker room. Benoit is silent as Angle stares the Rabid Wolverine down.

Kurt Angle: You know, I have the mind to ask if you're working with Brock Lensar for that stunt you pulled last week. What the hell has come of you, Chris?!

Chris Benoit: You do, don't ya? Well ask away, Kurt. If you really think I'm working for that slimeball, you're dumber than I thought.

Kurt Angle: We had a plan!

Chris Benoit: No WE did not have a plan! YOU had a plan. You wanted me to go in there and hand that punk ass Chavo Guerrero an undeserved title win? You want to sit here and ask what's come of me? What's come of YOU? Huh? I want to be the WWE Champion. I want to take Brock Lesnar out. ME! I'm not about to let Chavo Guerrero win the most coveted championship in the WWE to get a "ha ha" on Brock Lesnar.

Kurt Angle: That's not what this is about. You see what's going on out there! With everything that Paul Heyman has done to you... what Brock Lesnar has done to you... this was about making a statement!

Chris Benoit: You want to know what kind of statement I saw tonight? When Chavo Guerrero bloodied your so-called best friend Eddie right in the middle of the ring because he didn't get his way. That's a statement if I ever saw one. A statement that I made the right decision last week. Brock Lesnar may still be the WWE Champion but I can promise you this... if my name is drawn tonight, he won't be!

Benoit walks off, leaving Angle by himself as we cut to the stage where Heyman and Dawn Marie appear for the next drawing. The Big Show stands next to them with his United States Championship placed firmly on his shoulder.

Paul Heyman: You just saw that anything can happen here on Paul Heyman's SmackDown! I think Tazz said it best when he called SmackDown the "land of opportunity!" It truly is. Two title opportunities down and two more to go. And now, one lucky competitor will have their chance to take on the largest athlete in the world... The Big Show!

Heyman waves his hands off to the side, showing off The Big Show, who sternly stares out at the crowd and slowly raises the United States Championship up in the air. Dawn begins cranking the spinner once again, sending a much larger number of balls around the drum. As the drum slowly comes to a stop, Heyman purposefully reaches down into the drum, fishing around for a much longer time than previously. Though all balls look identical, it's almost as if Heyman is looking for a specific one. Heyman finally pops his hand out with a ball, but just as he is about to crack it open, Dawn Marie quickly pops her hand in and grabs a ball of her own.

Dawn Marie: You know, Paulie, I've been doing all the work! You should just let me pick one for once!

Heyman dumbfoundedly looks at Dawn Marie and has no time to even react as she quickly cracks her ball open and unfolds the paper inside.

Paul Heyman: Dawn, I've already...

Dawn Marie: Oooo Paulie, you should be so happy I took control! What a match this is going to be! The Big Show is going defend his United States Championship... against KURT ANGLE!

Cole: OHHHHHHH MY!

Tazz: Whoa whoa whoa! That's huge, Cole!

Cole: And look at the face on Heyman right now, Tazz! I have a funny feeling Dawn Marie just stopped some funny business from going on here unintentionally!

Big Show attempts to continue look confident as he marches down to the ring. Marie dances on the stage as if her name was just drawn herself as Heyman defeatidly tosses his ball back in the drum.

Paul Heyman: Dawn... I think we need to talk... somewhere else.

Heyman tugs Dawn's arm as the two disappear behind the stage before the start of this United States Championship defense.

After everything that went down tonight, Kurt Angle was absolutely pumped to get into the ring and take out all his aggression on The Big Show. Show is one of the most dominate men in the game. The largest athlete in the world, few competitors are ever able to step into the ring and defeat Show in convincing fashion.

You wouldn't think that tonight, however.

Though Show still held his own, Angle saw Show as an example. And with Heyman clearly having something up his sleeve that went awry, this was an opportunity that should have never happened. After worming his way out of a Showstopper, Angle latched onto Show's ankle and would get the big man stuck in the middle of the ring with his huge foot being unscrewed like a lightbulb. As Angle screams at the top his lungs, Show wails. Covering the back of his head with his hands, Show finally slams his big palms down on the mat and taps out!

Winner: Kurt Angle @ 8:36 (79)

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Cole: NEW CHAMPION! Kurt Angle is the new United States Champion, partner! And a second new champion crowned here tonight, could we go for a third?!

Tazz: I can't believe it! And to see The Big Show go down that quick, Kurt Angle looked like a man possessed out there, Cole!

Cole: Angle is filled with emotions right now, which only helps the Olympic Hero compete when he gets in the ring!

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As we come back from commercial, the ring is occupied by John Cena along with future Playboy playmates Torrie Wilson and Sable. Torrie stands close by Cena in her ring gear while Sable is in her usual business attire, standing with her arms crossed in the distance. Cena has a mic as always and is decked in a Donté Stallworth jersey for the New Orleans Saints fans in attendance.

John Cena: Yo, yo, YO, YO, YOOOOOO! So let me tell it to you like this... in the blue corner tonight, you got me with a perfect ten. And in the red corner you got two members from the Brock Lesnar pig pen. Matt Morgan, dawg, you tried last week, what makes you think you're gonna take me out now? Hell, I know you ain't about to let my girl Torrie get pinned by Paul Heyman's personal cow. This is embarrassing dawg, your game is weak. After all, Basic Thuganomics is at it's peak. And if you think---

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Cole: Well we're moments away from a mixed tag team match here tonight, partner, and it looks like Matt Morgan has heard enough from John Cena.

Tazz: Cena got the best of Morgan last week but this kid is hungry to move up and impress his mentor, Cole! I mean look at the size of this guy!

Matt Morgan emerges from the stage in his ring gear but wearing an Atlanta Falcons hat on backwards to rub some salt towards Saints fans in the crowd. Dawn Marie slowly follows behind, but is clearly sulking from whatever ass chewing she got from Paul Heyman in the back after the last drawing's disasterous result.

Matt Morgan: Yo, yo, YOOOOOO!

Cena unimpressively looks at Morgan with pursed lips as the fans jeer the seven-foot rookie.

Matt Morgan: So you say you're the Master of Thuganomics, eh? Well let me give you a lesson in economics. You see, tonight you're taking on THE BLUEPRINT! And your partner, hold on... I have to squint!

Morgan lamely squints his eyes and looks around before "spotting" Torrie Wilson, then pointing.

Matt Morgan: Oh yeah, the "Playboy Bunny"! Well you see, Cena, it's kinda funny. You caught me off my game last week, I can admit that. And for the last seven days, I sat. Thinking about what I can do to you with my boot. Cause tonight, I'm going to turn you into SOOT!

Morgan throws his head back in laughter after finally "nailing" the line he wanted to do last week. Cena simply shakes his head.

John Cena: Dawg, dawg, that don't even.... you know what, man? I'mma keep this short and sweet. Tonight you're going to swear you're seeing a repeat. Because after I'm done rubbing your face in the ground, five knuckle shuffle and FU, this ain't going another round. Man, just get this show on the road, you making me sick! And when I'm done beating you, you can go right ahead and beat this....

Cena raises the mic and allows the fans to finish the line, but not before Morgan gets in a cheap shot to start this one off.

Morgan's cheap shot puts him in control to start this one off, pummeling Cena and using his size to stay on top of him with powerful offensive moves. Morgan's slams sends the ring vibrating and the ropes shaking with the strength behind them. Morgan drags Cena to the corner and begins bullying him against the ropes, but Dawn Marie inexplicably blind tags Morgan to take out her current frustrations on Torrie.

Per rules of mixed tag, Morgan must immediately step out, giving Cena a chance to recover on his apron while Dawn and Torrie scuffle. Dawn tackles Torrie down and the two roll around on the floor, tugging each other's hair and screeching. Torrie is able to gain control and starts bouncing Dawn's head against the mat, delivering slaps to both sides of Dawn's face. After a few moments of cat fighting, the girls roll towards Morgan's corner and the big man reaches as far as he can to tag Dawn's back and get back in the ring.

Cena, however, has recovered from Morgan's cheap attack and is not quite as defenseless as he was last time. Morgan rushes in to attack and Cena is able to counter everything he does at first. While Morgan does get back on offense, a big boot attempt ends the same as it did last week with a FU and a three for the win.

Winner: John Cena & Torrie Wilson @ 6:33 (59)

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Cole: Well another impressive victory for John Cena here tonight!

Tazz: And man, how jealous does Cena have to make us right now?! Look at this! Getting the attention of the two most gorgeous women in the WWE, the future playmates themselves!

Sable and Torrie do terrible looking hip hop dancing to Cena's music as he celebrates in the ring with his new found friends. But the party comes to a screeching halt when some other music interrupts his, immediately filling the coliseum with jeers.

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Cole: What's the meaning of this?

Tazz: Well Ernest "The Cat" Miller definitely has some history with Torrie and Sable and took exception to their Playboy Cover announcement taking time away from, well, him!

Cole: Ernest Miller still has a lot to prove the WWE, partner! But it looks like he's more inclined to force himself into the spotlight!

Tazz: Hey, not for nothin', but you gotta respect that approach if it works!

As Cena and the girls look on in the ring, Ernest Miller makes his way down to the ring, air boxing with his extravagant cheetah-printed robe. Miller milks his entrance a tad, jawing with front row members of the audience as he grabs a mic and makes his way into the ring.

Ernest Miller: Well, well, well... what do we got here? A couple of hoochie mamas with their big daddy pimp taking up time on SmackDown? Who would have guessed? You people pay to see the Playboy Playmates and Vanilla Ice get at it? You, fat ass in the front, tell me! Is THIS what you paid to see?

Miller points the mic in the fans direction then promptly pulls it back.

Ernest Miller: Shut up, fat boy! It don't matter what you want to see, it's what you know to be! Because I'M THE GREATEST! THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! Three time Karate champion, nobody can stop me, not even Vince Mack-Mahon himself!

Miller hops up and down, swaying his arms back and forth, rolling his right arm as if he's winding up a punch. Cena creates a fake look of excitement on his face as he raises the mic to his lips.

John Cena: Dawg, dawg... you must be telling me this is some sort of prank. I never would have thought in my life I would meet the great Billy Blanks! Sir, it's such an honor to meet the creator of Tai Bo! And while I don't have my VCR deck on me, maybe you can give us a live show!

Ernest Miller: It ain't "DOG", son, it's "THE CAT!" I don't have time for your hippity hoppity rapping rhymes! I don't have time for these two wenches thinking that being nekkid in a magazine deserves them the spotlight that I deserve. I BEAT VINCE MCMAHON! I'm the GREATEST! You will HEAR MY NAME! It's THE CAT! And THE CAT is THE GREATEST OF ALLLLLLLLL TIME! You hear that SABLE? I beat YOUR MAN! In the ring! For the three! I did that! I'M THE GREATEST!

Miller continues getting in Sable's face, who is already disinterested in the ongoings between Cena and Torrie. With his back turned however, Cena gets behind Miller with his hands on his knees. The fans cheer knowing what he's waiting for.

Ernest Miller: Now ya'll think you're so good, don't you? Well why don't yaaaAAHHHHH

As Miller turns around to face Cena, Cena hoists him right up onto his shoulders and just like he did to Matt Morgan moments ago, slams Miller down into the middle of the mat with a FU. Sable and Torrie both wave their hand in their face towards Miller, doing Cena's classic "you can't see me" taunt as the trio head back up the ramp.

Cameras cut to the back where Kurt Angle, sweat in his eyes but a look of delight, stands with his newly won United States Championship next to Josh Matthews.

Josh Matthews: Well folks, I'm back here with Kurt Angle who just moments ago won the United States Championship from The Big Show. Kurt, how's it feel to start your first reign as United States Champion?

Kurt Angle: Woo! Well, simply Josh, it feels great. I promised the brave men and women fighting overseas that I would win the Royal Rumble in their honor. And much to my disappointment, I failed them. So tonight, to make up for it, I dedicate this win to those brave men and women, Josh. I will defend the United States Championship just as they defend our country.

Angle smooches the plate of his title before placing it over his shoulder.

As Angle concludes his interview, the World's Greatest Tag Team, similarly with newly crowned championships around their waist, appear on screen. The former Team Angle members who were fired by Angle back in June appear hesitant at first, but both offer a hand up for Angle. Angle smirks and slaps both hands of the World's Greatest.

Kurt Angle: Good job out there, gentlemen.

The three walk off in the same direction as we cut back to ringside.

Cole: Two titles have changed hands here tonight, Tazz, and you know I never did think about Kurt Angle and the World's Greatest Tag Team long history bringing us to here.

Tazz: Kurt Angle fired Haas and Benjamin over the summer. That wasn't that long ago. And that's not something you just forget either!

Cole: Well it looks like - for now - these three men can put their differences aside!

=============

=============

Cameras cut to the back where The Big Show solemnly sits alone in the dressing room with an oversized ice pack on his ankle. Show has a very large frown on his face, visibly upset from losing his United States championship very suddenly.

Show's eyes dart up when he notices Hardcore Holly walk into the room uninvited. If Show's ankle didn't hurt so bad, he'd spring up from the bench and tower over the former WWE Championship contender but instead, he tries to intimidate the tough man from Alabama with a stern look. He should know better though. Holly simply locks pupils with him, his ice cold blue eyes staring a hole through the largest athlete in the world.

Hardcore Holly: Sucks, don't it?

Holly slowly brings his hands to his hips as Show looks down at his empty shoulder, then back to Hardcore.

Big Show: If you came here to rub it in, I'd advise you go back to the poker table before I smash your head like a watermelon.

Holly simply chuckles at Show's empty threat, knowing Show isn't able to stand at the moment.

Hardcore Holly: Show, I didn't come here to rub anything in. I came here to ask you a question. You know, I noticed something kinda funny out there.... you got put into a match with Kurt Angle but.... it seemed like something was missing, don't you think?

Holly pauses but Show keeps a blank expression, not following where Holly is going with this.

Hardcore Holly: Yeah you know, forgive me for assumin' but... well, when I see Brock Lesnar out there, I see the calvary. Put him up against Chavo freakin' Guerrero and here comes you, Rhyno and Matt Morgan to make sure it goes Brock's way. Everywhere Brock goes, you guys go. Team Lesnar though, right?

Show slowly looks at the floor as Holly continues, obviously in thought.

Hardcore Holly: But nobody cares about you against Angle, eh? United States Championship on the line.... Angle makes you tap out. And nobody is there to save you. Brock Lesnar is in his locker room right now ready to take on a random opponent.... and I do have to wonder if we'll be seeing some friends out there.

???: 'Ey Show, let's go. It's almost time.

An unheard voice promptly brings Holly to silence as Show quickly looks up. Powerful footsteps approach before a large man comes up next to Holly.

A-Train looks Holly up and down with a look of confusion before looking at Show.

A-Train: What the hell is this chump doing here?

Hardcore Holly: Just talkin' is all. Guess you guys got some.... business to take care of huh?

A-Train: Yeah. And that business? Is none of yours. Show, let's go, we're running late.

Show slowly gets up from the bench and hobbles away with A-Train as Holly looks on with a smirk, knowing he's onto something.

Before Cole and Tazz can comment on that conversation, we immediately cut to Paul Heyman by the lottery drum. Heyman is by himself this time.

Paul Heyman: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and I am the General Manager of SmackDown. And I have.... an apology to make. My "lovely" assistant Dawn Marie made an error in judgment. And let it be known she was harshly reprimanded for taking matters into her own hands. And because of Dawn Marie's decision making, it appears that this process has been under a certain amount of scrutiny. Isn't that right... Michael Cole?

Cole: Me?! What's he picking on me for?

Tazz: Well you did insinuate that there was some.... trickery, didn't ya Cole?

Cole: Look, all I said was that it was a little suspicious that Heyman was fishy during that last drawing! That's all I said!

Paul Heyman: Michael Cole, though I don't hear what you and Tazz are babbling about over there, I did hear what you said earlier about.... "funny business". So I tell you what, Mr. Voice of SmackDown... I request your presence. UP HERE! Right NOW!

Tazz: You heard him, Cole!

Cole: I guess I have no choice!

Cole gently places his headset down on the table and makes his way towards the stage, the fans offering him a respectable cheer as he nervously walks up the ramp. Heyman sternly watches as SmackDown's lead commentator approaches.

Paul Heyman: Okay Michael Cole, I'm going to give you an opportunity here to show the world that Paul Heyman is a FAIR and JUST General Manager. Before you here is the very lottery drum I used for the last drawing, minus one ball - that being Kurt Angle. Go ahead and take a look. Anything look.... off to you, Michael Cole? Anything look FUNNY to you, MICHAEL COLE?

Cole looks down at the drum, inspecting the balls. There isn't much to see. Not like he can see any of the names. He fishes his hand around and comes back up with a shrug.

Michael Cole: Look, I'm sorry if you were offend---

Paul Heyman: SHUT UP!

Cole drops his arms and frowns as Heyman gets in his face, beads of spit slapping against Cole's cheeks.

Paul Heyman: I'm going to make this very simple, Michael Cole. I'm going to let YOU pick one of these balls. I'm going to let YOU choose Brock Lesnar's challenger. Go ahead! Pick a ball!

After a short hesitation, Cole reaches into the drum and plucks a ball out. Cole hands it to Heyman, who promptly pushes it right back into Cole's clutches.

Paul Heyman: No-no-no! You picked the ball, Michael Cole. Go ahead and read it!

Cole carefully cracks the ball open and slowly unfolds the piece of paper. Cole remains silent as Heyman slowly moves the mic back to Cole's lips, before moving it back to his own after no response.

Paul Heyman: Well... we're waiting! Brock Lesnar will be defending his WWE Championship against.....

Michael Cole: Scotty 2 Hotty.

Tazz: Oh man....

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Scotty 2 Hotty eeks out from the back with a nervous look on his face. Though going for the WWE Championship is certainly exciting, Brock Lesnar is an animal not many look forward to tackling. Rikishi slowly follows behind his pal, offering support for the biggest match of his life. As Scotty makes it halfway down the ramp, Heyman orders the music cut.

Paul Heyman: Hey, Scotty? Congratulations! You have earned a random title shot against the most dominate athlete in WWE history. But perhaps we should make the occasion a little bit more... grand? How about a special match type to make this experience even better?!

By now, muffling is heard as Cole puts his headset back on, rejoining Tazz at ringside.

Tazz: You hear this, Cole? A stipulation?!

Cole: Yeah, let's make it even more fair, partner! Give me a break!

Scotty gazes at Heyman with a look of dread. A special match type won't help him in this case. With a gulp, Heyman continues.

Paul Heyman: I think... we'll make this a lumberjack match! And let me introduce you to the lumberjacks!

Predictably enough, the four monsters of Team Lesnar come out onto the stage in sync. Though Show and Morgan lost earlier in the night without much help from anyone, they remain loyal to Team Lesnar as they march down the ramp. Scotty looks white as a ghost.

To start the match off, Team Lesnar quickly swarms Rikishi, attacking him at ringside before he can even involve himself in this match or think about giving Scotty an advantage. Meanwhile, Brock wastes no time dominating the master of the worm. Scotty is outmatched in every single way you can think of and doesn't stand a chance against Brock Lesnar. As Heyman watches on with a big smile on his face, Lesnar toys with Scotty in the ring. Though it seems he hasn't learned his lesson from last week, an army doesn't seem to be in a big rush to run out to the ring this week with Team Lesnar surrounding the ring. After a few minutes of domination and Rikishi laid out cold on ringside, Lesnar puts Scotty away with a F5.

Winner: Brock Lesnar @ 5:44 (66)

</div>

Cole: Well I hope Paul Heyman feels mighty proud of himself, Tazz. Scotty 2 Hotty is decimated out here and just to show everyone who runs the town, look at Team Lesnar out here! Rikishi was beaten to a pulp by four pitbulls and Lesnar reigns supreme.

Tazz: It was the luck of the draw, Cole! You drew it! Hate to say it but that's the way it goes. And Brock Lesnar now will not have to defend until WrestleMania?!

Heyman claps in the ring as the five members of Team Lesnar all form a row and raise their arms up together, signifying their allegiance.

Chris Benoit steps out onto the stage, eyeing the five members down with a determined look on his face. As Team Lesnar notices him, they motion for him to come down and take him on. Benoit runs his thumb across his throat and marches down to the ring. Morgan and Rhyno roll out and begin brawling with Benoit.

Kurt Angle and the World's Greatest Tag Team come out next, offering Benoit a hand against the two big men. A-Train and Show join in on the battle.

Cena, Rey Mysterio and Ultimo Dragon run out next to offer support. Brock Lesnar has now rolled out to help his men, but the numbers game is getting very strong. With Morgan, A-Train and Rhyno laid out; Big Show and Lesnar retreat back into the ring with Heyman as more bodies start coming out and surrounding the ring, offering stomps to the three men who are laid out on the ground.

The Bashams, upset about their snap title defense, join the perimeter of the ring. The FBI, furious about their betting station being banned, also join. Paul London, Billy Kidman, Funaki and Orlando Jordan join the babyface side of the ring to show their support towards Benoit, Angle and the rest rallying against Team Lesnar. And Dawn Marie, scorned over being yelled at by Heyman earlier in the night, joins in by showing her support to those around the ring.

Tazz: Oh my God, Cole, look at this!

Cole: Nearly the entire locker room is out here right now!

Bradshaw and Hardcore Holly arrive late to the party with Holly taking particular interest in the drawing drum that sits on top of the stage. The two men stare at it. Holly grabs the mic that Heyman left on the podium up there.

Hardcore Holly: Y'know Paul, I've been wonderin' why you were so confident about this main event. A random draw, huh?

Bradshaw: Say partner, let's draw some names shall we?

Heyman gulps as Holly pulls a ball out from the drum. Bradshaw does as well.

Hardcore Holly: Bradshaw, this must be some sort of mistake but.... it seems I've drawn Scotty 2 Hotty.

Bradshaw scratches his head and chuckles.

Bradshaw: Shucks Bob, looks like.... I too have drawn Scotty 2 Hotty!

The two men kick the lottery drum over, ball flying down the ramp. Wrestlers surrounding the ring pick the balls up to reveal that Scotty 2 Hotty was the draw in every single ball.

Cole: I told you, Tazz! I told you there was some funny business going on here! Paul Heyman just conned his way into putting Brock Lesnar into a guaranteed WrestleMania title defense!

Tazz: I, uh.... wow. That's pretty low, even for Paul Heyman. Sheesh.

As everyone starts revealing all the Scotty balls, The Big Show gives a look towards Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Heyman starts violently shaking his head, inaudibly pleading with The Big Show. With a scowl on his face, Show climbs out of the ring and joins the rest of the SmackDown superstars who surround Heyman and Lesnar.

Tazz: Holy smokes! The Big Show has even turned his back on Team Lesnar! Can you believe this, Cole?!

Cole: I have never seen anything like this... and excuse the unprofessionalism but after everything I've seen.... I have to join in on this too!

Cole throws his headset down and also joins the crowd on the perimeter. Tazz reluctantly does the same. Heyman starts shouting at everyone.

Paul Heyman: Go ahead. DEFY ME! CONTINUE TO DEFY ME! I will FIRE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! You are all REPLACABLE! Not a single one of you matches up to BUUUUUH-ROCK LESNAR! NONE OF YOU! TRY ME! Try ME RIGHT NOW! COME ON!

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Though Mr. McMahon has been embroiled in some mysterious happenings on RAW, the fans erupt in cheers as they know "The Boss" is here to take care of business on SmackDown. The wrestlers surrounding the ring part the sea for Mr. McMahon as he confidently struts to the ring. Heyman looks like he's seen a ghost but wastes no time running up to the rope to hold them open for Vince as he climbs into the ring. Heyman offers applause to The Boss, who sees right through his phony butt-kissing, as do the fans in attendance.

Mr. McMahon: Well now, Mr. Heyman.... this is a sight that looks familiar, now doesn't it? Yes, let me see if I can remember the date here.... June 24th, 2002. Doesn't ring a bell does it? Well let me remind you of that day, Mr. Heyman. You see, it was the Monday Night RAW following the King of the Ring that your WWE Champion over there, Brock Lesnar, dominated. Brock Lesnar left such an impact on the WWE and on myself that, quite frankly, I felt it necessary to call every single WWE superstar to the ring.

Mr. McMahon: And you know why I did that, Mr. Heyman? I wanted every single superstar to be just like BROCK LESNAR! I wanted every single WWE superstar to show me they had what it took... I wanted them to show me..... RUTHLESS AGGRESSION! Brock Lesnar demonstrated what it was to have ruthless aggression. And even after you turned your back on him and did everything to try and stop him, Brock Lesnar came back and main evented WrestleMania 19.

Heyman nods his head.

Paul Heyman: You're abolutely right, Mr. McMahon! Brock Lesnar IS the Ruthless Aggression era of the WWE---

Mr. McMahon: SHAAAAAAAT UP!

The fans burst in cheers over McMahon shutting Heyman down. Several wrestlers around the ring start slapping the mat.

Mr. McMahon: What Brock Lesnar represents NOW is not the Brock Lesnar I was talking about back then, Mr. Heyman. You want to know what kind of RUTHLESS AGGRESSION I see?

McMahon waves his arm out towards the superstars surrounding the ring. Lesnar stomps on each side, trying to intimidate the crowd to no avail.

Mr. McMahon: Quite frankly, Mr. Heyman, I have no idea what on earth you and Brock Lesnar are doing to this brand that I entrusted you with.... but when your entire roster is surrounding this very ring? That, to me, shows that it is not Brock Lesnar that possesses a certain attribute... but it is them that shows RUTHLESS AGGRESSION!

McMahon turns to face one side of the crowd, grasping the air with his fingers as he furrows his brows and purses his lips.

Mr. McMahon: It is Charlies Haas and Shelton Benjamin reaching for the stars like never before! It is Rey Mysterio exceling beyond his wildest dreams! It is Chris Benoit making the necessary sacrifices of mind, body and soul in order to be a success in this company!

McMahon looks around the perimeter as Heyman raises a finger to interject.

Paul Heyman: Look, Mr. McMahon, I assure you that this is all just a big misunderstanding. That lottery drum, I had nothing-NOTHING-to do with that! I pr---

Mr. McMahon: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Heyman looks back down at the ground, being shut down a second time by Vince.

Mr. McMahon: So while your entire roster turns their back on you, Mr. Heyman, I have two things for you. Number one.... I believe your job evaluation is due next week. And until I am able to conduct this evaluation to determine if you are still fit to run your own brand, you are hearby on PROBATION as General Manager of SmackDown!

All wrestlers surrounding the ring cheer and whoop as Heyman pleads for McMahon to change his mind. But it's not avail as McMahon is already onto his next point.

Mr. McMahon: And as far as this Brock Lesnar not defending until WrestleMania business? No, I think Brock Lesnar is perfectly capable of defending his WWE Championship. And when I think of who will challenge him... I think of a man who demonstrates what RUTHLESS AGGRESSION is ALL ABOUT! He's a man who has been dying to get his hands on Brock Lesnar. He is a man who has made Brock Lesnar.... TAP OUT! He is a man who put his blood, SWEAT AND TEARS in the Royal Rumble and dammit, did not win but came so close to accomplishing his DREAM! He is a man who you, Paul Heyman, may consider your worst NIGHTMARE! At No Way Out, Brock Lesnar will be defending his WWE Championship against....

Benoit cranks his neck and plays with his wrists, expecting his name to be called.

Mr. McMahon: ....KURT ANGLE!

Benoit freezes as Angle slides into the ring and immediately gets face to face with Lesnar. With Cole and Tazz still in the crowd, we silently watch Benoit gazing in the ring as Angle and Lesnar stare each other down as the show comes to a close.

Quick Results:

Eddie Guerrero def. Chris Kanyon

CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Rey Mysterio © vs. Ultimo Dragon fought to no contest

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: World's Greatest Tag Team def. The Basham Brothers ©

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: Kurt Angle def. The Big Show ©

John Cena & Torrie Wilson def. Matt Morgan & Dawn Marie

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP: Brock Lesnar © def. Scotty 2 Hotty

NO WAY OUT

FEBRUARY 21st, 2004

WWE Championship

Brock Lesnar © vs. Kurt Angle

Gouge · August 6, 2022

The show opens up to a cold open where Mr. McMahon himself is front of center, standing behind a plain black background. The boss has a serious look upon his face, all business tonight on the show he created.

Mr. McMahon: Good evening. As you may have seen these last few weeks here in the WWE, there have been strange... let us just say, occurrences happening to myself, Kane and some other superstars. Some may describe these occurrences as "supernatural". And some might say these "supernatural" occurrences allude to a certain individual who was buried six feet in the ground back in November. I am, of course, referring to.... The Undertaker.

The fans immediately cheer over the Deadman's name being mentioned. McMahon lets out a heavy gulp before continuing.

Mr. McMahon: Now as much as I know what I damn well did to The Undertaker those three months ago... I also have always had a saying and that saying is as follows: "Anything, and I mean anything, can happen in the WWE". Well The Undertaker's return to life, so to speak, could very well be a possibility. So tonight, here in Nassau Colliseum, I will invite The Undertaker to that very ring to confront me like the man I know that he is. And let us just say this.... it's time for The Undertaker.... to meet his maker. That is all.

MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Nassau Colliseum - Uniondale, NY

15,366 fans

Jim Ross: We are live from the stunning beaches of Long Island, New York at Nassau Colliseum! 15,000 fans are packed here on Monday Night RAW! JR and The King here, folks, and King... Mr. McMahon starting the show off with what is certainly a bold request!

King: Wah! Do I need to clean my ears out, JR?! Is Mr. McMahon.... gulp.... is he really inviting THE UNDERTAKER here tonight?!

JR: Well we all know about those, for a lack of better term, large-er-...grapefruits that Mr. McMahon claims to have. And boy do you need to have some guts to call out The Undertaker, the phenom himself. We haven't seen The Undertaker since back at Survivor Series where he was buried alive by Mr. McMahon and Kane. But ever since the Royal Rumble, we have seen evidence of The Undertaker still lurking out there!

King: Do you remember just last week when Scott Steiner was laid out with that cross on his forehead?! Waaaah!

JR: Good God do I ever, King. The Undertaker is an unforgetable force that will send goosebumps right down your arm.

King: Well Undertaker mindgames aside, JR, here comes the most dominate unit in the WWE today! And hah, if you caught Smackdown last Thursday.... well....

JR: Yes, King, Team Lesnar has dissolved. And Evolution remains the top dogs here in the WWE. But WrestleMania is just around the corner, King, and we have so many superstars who are dying to take all four of those titles from these men!

King: Wait, would you say that again JR? Did you say FOUR titles?! Wow!

JR: Yes, you know just as anyone else knows, King. Evolution holds every single male championship there is to win on RAW. Dare I say their tactics have left a lot to be desired. But they do, ultimately, reign supreme.

As King and JR banter, Evolution indeed steps out onto the stage. Being in Mick Foley's hometown of Long Island, it seems Randy Orton and Jackie Gayda will be lagging behind tonight as Triple H, Batista and Ric Flair step out onto the stage. Their belts glisten under the bright lights of the arena as Triple H smacks his gum, Flair jaws with the fans close to the ramp and Batista flexes close to an always impressed Stacy Keibler.

King: Boy, looking at Stacy and those long, long, long legs remind me, JR... Evolution does hold every male title on RAW, but Triple H has mentioned wanting to add the Women's Championship to their collection as well!

JR: Well how they plan on doing that remains to be seen, King. But you are absolutely correct. Which is also why Victoria and Stevie Richards have been frothing from the mouth over the idea of a title shot!

King: Ugh, don't mention those two kooks at a time like this!

Evolution have made it into the ring, as usual taking their sweet time to soak in the loud jeers. Triple H is, of course, the man with the microphone as the lights brighten and the music comes to a close.

Triple H: You know, I don't know about anyone else but I'm getting pretty bored here. I always thought leading the single most dominate force in the WWE would be fun but... gee, I don't know Ric. I guess being on top is a blessing and a curse. How the hell did the Horsemen do it so long, Ric?! I could....

Batista and Flair smirk as Triple H lets out a very exaggerated yawn.

Triple H: I could fall asleep right here on this mat!

Ric Flair: Woooooo! Soak it in, brother! Being on the top for so long is the single greatest feeling in this world! And just know the only ones coming down for this ride are the ones we're letting get on top of us! Woooooooooo!

Stacy wraps her arms around Batista's waist as Triple H and Flair chuckle.

King: Waaaah! You know Evolution is popular with those ladies, JR!

JR: Well you can't deny that. But you can deny this message Triple H is sending out. Bored my backside! There are several superstars who have taken Triple H for a ride just these last few weeks alone!

Triple H: You're right, Ric. It does feel great being the best. But all I've asked... for weeks upon weeks upon weeks... is for somebody, ANYBODY to even pose a threat to this World Heavyweight Championship!

Ric Flair: Hold on, champ! Anybody except.... Shawn Michaels!

Triple H: Oh right! Shawn Michaels - the chump who has tried and FAILED more than anybody else on RAW... Shawn Michaels - the man I sent to a hospital bed at the Royal Rumble! Shawn Michaels - the man who----

King: Hey, what's the meaning of this?!

JR: That is Rob Van Dam, King! And RVD has been just as frustrated with the mind games of Evolution as everyone else!

King: He can't just interupt Evolution like this, JR!

JR: Well it looks like he can, because he just has!

Evolution impatiently look out onto the stage as Rob Van Dam, with a big smile on his face, heads down to the ring. Triple H unimpressively smacks his gum as RVD climbs through the ropes and looks The Game dead in the face, pointing at himself three times while the fans shout out "ROB... VAN.... DAM!" Triple H wastes no time lifting the mic right back up to his lips.

Triple H: Speaking of losers... so very nice of you to join us today, Rob. You know, we saw what you had to say last week about us and.... well, quite frankly, join a long list of punks who are sick of losing, Rob.

Rob Van Dam: Oh really?! Is that right, Hunter? You know, if my memory serves correct... I had Randy Orton down for the count last time until one of you played with the production truck.

Triple H: And who is the champion right now, Rob? It doesn't matter what your perception is. What matters is reality. And reality is right here, chump. We're the champions. US! Evolution. So continue to gaze at what greatness looks like because you will never taste it in your career.

Rob places his hands on his hips as he stares at Triple H's World Heavyweight Championship. But the tension is cut off as another theme starts laying.

King: What's this?! Booker T now?!

JR: Booker T, the man who faced Triple H just two weeks ago for that World Heavyweight Championship but was unable to come out victorious. And you can thank Ric Flair for that!

King: Hey, thanks Ric Flair! I don't think I could stomach a felon as our World Heavyweight Champion!

JR: You knock that off right now, King.

Booker T makes his way out as the men in the ring look on, RVD with a slight smirk on his face considering his talk with Booker last week.

Booker T: Now let me just put it to ya'll like this... my man Rob Van Dam here put out a proposition that I can't help but agree on. We're sick of ya'll! We're sick of Evolution. And it's about damn time that we rise up and show you what we're made of! Now can you dig that?!

Batista and Flair immediately step in front of The Game, getting up close and personal with Booker.

Rob Van Dam: Hey you know what? I'm super happy that you're all a nice little family. But if you watched SmackDown this last Thursday, you'll see how easy it is to rise against! Brock Lesnar went from the very top... and just by an entire locker room standing up against him, he's now alone. The winds of change can do some crazy things, Hunter. So I wouldn't get so use to the top of the mountain if I were you.

Van Dam turns his attention to Batista and Flair, who are still staring down Booker T.

Rob Van Dam: Say, Batista... when do you think you'll ever get your fair shake in this group? You're a big, talented guy. So much potential there! And you're just okay with... wasting it? Being Triple H's lackey? Doing Evolution's dir--

Batista immediately snaps his head over towards Rob Van Dam, yanking his mic towards his mouth.

Batista: SHUT IT! Right now!

RVD backs away a little bit as Flair points his finger towards RVD.

Ric Flair: You watch your tone when speaking to us, boy. Evolution and "Team Lesnar" are two completely different worlds, baby. Team Lesnar was about one man. Evolution is about family. The four of us hold every title there is to hold! Wooooo! And you're damn right Batista has potential. That's why you see the two greatest wrestlers of ALL TIME right here in this ring with you! And joining them are two of WWE's future stars. The men you can look forward to running this ship when you and Booker T are long, long, looooong gone and FORGOTTEN about! Woooooooooo!

Booker T: Funny, Ric... seems to me you've already been forgotten, sucka. When I was growing up in WCW, you were the top player, dog. Now look at you. So far up Triple H's ass that you may as well be Siamese twins, sucka!

Flair, enraged over that comment, immediately shoves Booker T. Booker meets Flair with a strike and we have ourselves a brawl! Though RVD and Booker were courageous in taking on the three power players themselves, their efforts were not immediately awarded as the numbers advantage was too much. Evolution begins to pummel the newly formed tandem into the mat.

King: Wah! Wait a minute, Shawn Michaels has no business here! He can't ever face Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship!

JR: As true as that allegedly may be, Shawn Michaels CAN even the odds here all he wants! And by God, these Long Islanders are ELECTRIC for the Heartbreak Kid!

Shawn Michaels full on sprints towards the ring, Evolution expecting him with his music blasting through the PA. Though all three members of Evolution are standing, HBK has no issue knocking each one down with an elbow strike to Batista, to Flair and finally Triple H. The break from the action allows Booker and RVD to recover, who helps HBK dispatch of Evolution one by one.

JR: It's Austin! Sheriff Austin is now making his way to the ring and by God, the Texas Rattlesnake is about to lay down the law!

King: How many more people are going to come out here to interrupt Triple H? Good grief!

JR: WrestleMania season is in full swing, King, and this locker room is dying to get their hands on Triple H's World Heavyweight Championship!

Austin indeed comes out onto the ramp, minus his ATV tonight, as Evolution and the trio in the ring jaw and point.

Steve Austin: What?

The fans shout WHAT? back as the seven individuals surrounding the ring stare back onto the stage.

Steve Austin: Now Triple H, if you're done crying and whining about how nobody has the guts to take you or your little yellow bellied crew on, take a moment to look around the ring at three sunvabitches are who willing to do it right now!

Triple H shakes his head and points his thumb back behind his shoulder, shouting "back of the line" towards Austin.

Steve Austin: I think we're all about done with Evolution thinking they're untouchable and tonight, I say we're fixing to put that to the test. I said we got ourselves a match tonight. And not just any ol' match, we got ourselves a tag team match.... a six man one, even!

RVD, Booker and Shawn Michaels nod their head in agreement as they look towards Evolution, who are all shaking their heads no.

Triple H: Listen here, Austin! You don't just shotgun yourself into the ring with The Game! I am the single most dominate champion in the WWE. These three chumps have had their chance. Give us someone new!

Steve Austin: Far as I'm concerned... and I don't believe I ever said I was done talkin' by the way.... I see three hungry sunvabitches who are ready to lay a can of whoop ass to Evolution. So I suppose we're keen to ask the crowd what they think we should do. If you think Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam and Booker T should get the chance to beat down Evolution's ass tonight.... give me a HELL YEAH!

The fans rightly shout HELL YEAH right back.

Steve Austin: Seems to me it's unanimous. So like it or not, Evolution, you will be taking on Booker T.... Rob Van Dam.... and Shawn Michaels in tonight's main event and that's the bottom line 'cause Stone Cold said so!

JR: What a colossal announcement to kick off RAW, King! A slobberknocker of a main event to be sure as three of RAW's biggest personalities take on Evolution by the horns!

King: Well I don't know about you, JR, but Evolution is the top for a reason! Sure, those other three guys are great and all but they're not a team! Evolution knows how to work together and I think they're in big trouble tonight!

JR: Evolution is an ever growing threat, that is for damn sure. But nobody will ever be able to stop them if they can't work together, King!

=============

AND NOW...

THE EXTREME BLAST OF THE NIGHT

RIPPED BY JVC'S TOWER OF POWER

CRANKED BY 540 WATTS OF TURBO CHARGED SOUND

DUEL 8" SUBS

5 DISC CD PLAYER

AND MP3 PLAYBACK

THE ONLY SOUND SYSTEM THAT DESERVES A WARNING LABEL

raw - last monday

JR: Gail Kim and Victoria are going at it on the ringside here but focus remains on the legal men in the ring folks, Stevie Richards and Matt Hardy.
King: Wah! Come on camera guy, nobody cares about them! Let's see the cat fight! Woo hoo!
JR: This is a battle between two lovebirds so to speak and both "boyfriends" are looking to get their women shot up in the ranks of this ever competitive women's division.... Hardy running off the ropes here and - OH! - Stevie going for that Stevie Kick but Matt Hardy was able to duck it!
King: That idiot! Look at this!
JR: Hardy has Stevie set up.... Twist of Fate! By God! That'll snap your neck! And Hardy with the cover! 1! 2! And by God this one is over, goodnight Stevie Richards!

THE TOWER OF POWER BY JVC

REAL POWER

REAL LOGIC

REAL LOUD

JR: Welcome back to Long Island folks and last week, we did see the new couple that is Matt Hardy and Gail Kim come out on top of those wacky kooks, Stevie Richards and Victoria!

King: I can't believe those two think they have a chance of joining Evolution! Ueeeegh! Could you imagine?!

JR: Well I certainly cannot fathom that thought personally but regardless, we have women's action coming up and this match will determine who is moving on in this mini tournament for the right to take on Lita at WrestleMania 20!

Matt Hardy was sure to accompany his new girlfriend to the ring while Trish Stratus was out there solo, no Chris Jericho to be found despite Trish's gesture last week.

Gail may have lots of confidence being back from injury with a new man and new attitude, but Trish Stratus is still the pioneer of the women's division and she was not going down in the first round of this mini tournament. Matt Hardy tried as he might to cheer his lady on and even distract Trish, but nothing was stopping Stratusfaction to be brought out tonight. After her patented bulldog, Gail Kim was put away before the four minute mark.

Winner: Trish Stratus @ 3:47 (66)

JR: Well a very decisive victory there for Trish Stratus! Now next week we'll see Molly Holly and Victoria go at it to see who will take on Trish in the final!

King: Trish truly is something else, isn't she JR?! Oh there's butterflies in my stomach, look at that twinkle in her eye! I think she looked at me for a minute! Aha!

JR: Maybe she just smells that cologne, King. My eyes are a bit watery, myself.

Trish celebrates in the ring, propping herself onto the middle turnbuckle as she looks out into the crowd with a big smile on her face. As she plays up to the crowd, Trish finds herself falling back onto the mat with a loud thud.

King: Hey! What's this about?!

JR: That's Jazz, King! And Jazz is not included in this number one contender's tournament!

King: Well I know it's Jazz but what the heck is she doing here? You're right, JR, she wasn't included in this tournament!

JR: I can only guess that Jazz and Theodore Long are showing off their frustrations by beating Trish Stratus down. Now that's enough dammit! Someone get out here!

Jazz begins laying down a beating on Trish from behind as Theodore Long, last seen getting kicked out of Eric Bischoff's circle, cheers her on from ringside. As Gail begins coming to, Jazz gives her a boot in the head for her troubles to knock her right back down. But attention is right back to Trish, who is helpless as Jazz starts getting the Bitch Clamp locked in.

JR: It's Lita, King! The current Women's Champion has so much respect for her fellow competitors and I don't think she's going to stand for this cheap attack from Jazz!

King: Go Lita! Get Trish down from there, ahhh!

It's not long before current WWE Women's Champion Lita rushes down to the ring. Jazz lets the hold go and immediately goes after Lita, who pinned her to win that title back at the Royal Rumble. Trish rolls out of the ring in agony as Jazz and Lita brawl in the center of the ring. Gail Kim starts to recover again and eyes Jazz, who just kicked her in the head moments ago. Theodore Long, sensing his client in danger, puts himself in harm's way as he tries to restrain Gail Kim from behind.

JR: Good God, this is getting out of control quick! What is Theodore Long thinking here?!

Matt Hardy has stayed out of this brawl but he is not about to stand for Theodore Long putting hands on his girlfriend. As Long tries to hold onto Gail's shoulders, Hardy slides into the ring behind them. Hardy charges for Long, but didn't expect Kim to hold her own as she wrestles Long down onto the ground. Hardy is unable to stop himself as he comes screaming straight towards Jazz and Lita. Jazz senses Hardy heading her way and shoves Lita right into her ex-boyfriend. As Hardy puts his arms up to stop himself, he accidentally clubs Lita right in the head.

JR: Good God! Lita has just been laid out by Matt Hardy!

King: That idiot! Look what he just did!

JR: With all due respect, that looked like an accident, King. But this was an absolutely senseless brawl here!

Jazz and Long retreat as Hardy looks at the ground in absolute horror over laying out Lita. Hardy kneels down next to her to try to help, but Gail Kim shakes her head as she taps Hardy's shoulder, reminding him of who he is with now. Hardy and Gail turn around towards the back as Lita rolls around on the floor, holding where she was smacked in place.

Cameras abruptly cut to the back where Randy Orton is standing with Jackie Gayda close to the Evolution dressing room, which can be seen in the background with it's logo. Orton's Intercontinental Championship shines bright.

Randy Orton: I damn well know Mick Foley is here somewhere. We're in his hometown, of course he wants a piece of me. But I'm not giving him that benefit. He's had his chance to take me on and now all the sudden I'm supposed to drop everything for him? Triple H is right. Being on the top sure is boring, isn't it?

Gayda shakes her head in agreement.

Jackie Gayda: Who does he think he is sticking his nose in our business last week? Thank goodness for Test.

???: Hey, that's right!

An off screen voice is heard approaching as Orton and Gayda both shoot their eyes up in the direction of it.

Test, the man who stopped Mick Foley from making Randy Orton a human pincushion last week, walks into shot with a confident look on his face after overhearing Jackie's statement.

Test: Thank goodness for Test. Randy, it's almost like... you owe me!

Randy Orton: Owe you? What do you take me for?

Test: Randy, you were about to have your head driven into hundreds of tacks. I made sure it was Mick Foley who ended up in them.

Randy Orton: And? Who's to say I couldn't have gotten out of it? Look, I'm happy for you helping me, thanks a lot. But just because you have a score to settle with Mick Foley because of what happened at the Royal Rumble does not make us friends. Matter of fact, you can have your chance with Mick. He doesn't belong in the ring with me.

Test furrows his brows, looking towards an equally unimpressed Jackie as he looks back towards Orton.

Test: Alright, that's fine Orton. You know I have a match coming up against Tommy Dreamer... I think I'll make it a hardcore match too. And I bet I can put him away a lot faster than you did.

Randy Orton: Whatever floats your boat, Test. I really don't care. I'll be sure to not watch. I'm busy. Come on, Jackie.

Orton and Gayda promptly open up the door behind them and disappear into the Evolution dressing room. Test, noticeably irritated, stomps towards the stage.

JR: It's almost like Test thought he had an "in" with Evolution due to his help last week. But clearly that's not the case.

King: Evolution is a pretty exclusive club, JR! But I'm sure glad Test showed that coward Mick Foley.... could you imagine what would have happened to poor Randy Orton's body if he landed on those tacks?! Wah!

JR: Test indeed saved Orton gruesome injury, that's for certain. But I can't help but think Test inserting himself into Mrs. Foley's baby boy's business is going to be a mistake. That's one bear I wouldn't want to be poking, especially here in Long Island!

Test came into this one wanting to set an example to both Mick Foley and Randy Orton, but may have bit a little bit more than he can chew by making this a hardcore match. Though Test clearly had a size advantage, the use of weapons made it very easy for Tommy to even the score and keep things in his favor. Nothing Test did mattered early in this one as Tommy had an answer with the use of trash cans, a Singapore cane and even a fire extinguisher.

The gags didn't last long, however. Though the weapons caused damage to Test, he was able to finally get things going in his direction with the use of his strength and size. After easily fighting out of a Dreamer DDT, Test was able to hit a Pumphandle onto a trash can to put Dreamer away for the win.

Winner: Test @ 8:04 (63)

JR: Well you have to admire the heart of Tommy Dreamer but Test comes out victorious.

King: Well now the question remains.... will that hack Mick Foley come out here to get some revenge?

JR: Considering Test is not about to let up on Dreamer, I can't help but feel that's exactly what Test wants right now!

Test indeed takes a page out of Randy Orton's book and continues to beat down Tommy Dreamer to try to bait Mick Foley into making a save. Test keeps looking up to the stage in anticipation as the fans chant for Foley to do so.

King: Wah! Is he actually going to show though, JR?

JR: King, we're in Long Island! It was here in 1985 that Michael Francis Foley jumped off his best friend's roof onto a mattress. This is the town that built Mick Foley and by God, there he is! And Test may regret shaking that tree here real soon!

Mick Foley indeed comes out to a monstrous pop as Test waits in the ring with his hands on his knees. Foley hobbles down and slowly gets in the ring where Test immediately goes for a big boot. Foley was expecting it, however, and is able to duck out of the way where he begins laying heavy strikes to the big man Test. The duo get into a brawl, but it's not long before Foley has the dreaded Mr. Socko out and down Test's throat! Test waves his arms about and within moments, Foley transitions Test into a double armed DDT onto a nearby trash can lid, laying the big man out onto the mat. Foley is quick to find a microphone and with a huff and a puff, gets onto the mic.

Mick Foley: Boy it sure is.... huff.... it sure is good to be here in..... puff.... LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK! BANG BANG!

The fans, of course, go bananas for the cheap pop. Never fails! Foley winks with a toothy smile before looking up towards the stage.

Mick Foley: Last week at approximately this time, I was having 738 thumbtacks removed from my shoulders, neck, back and spine. And with each.... pluck.... of the tacks..... from my FLESH.... I had an image. And that image was seeing the look of FEAR on Randy Orton's face when I had him oh so very close to HAVING HIS BODY RIP APART ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!

King: Waaaah! This guy is a psychopath, JR! Do you hear this? What a lunatic!

JR: Randy Orton has provoked Mick Foley for MONTHS, King. And we all know what Mick Foley is capable of in that ring!

Foley looks down at Test, who is still rolling around on the mat with a fresh cut above his eyebrow from that DDT.

Mick Foley: Test, my friend... you saved Randy Orton from having to endure the most painful experience of his life BUT AT WHAT COST?

Foley kneels down next to Test, gripping him by the hair. Foley begins laying heavy blows into the forehead of Test, opening the gash even further.

Mick Foley: Is this what you want RANDY ORTON? COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD!

Foley lays a punch with each "COWARD" he yells.

Mick Foley: COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! COWAAAAAAARD!

Test is knocked out cold as Foley looks up to the stage. No Randy Orton. Foley kicks Test's lifeless body out of the ring as he paces like a man possessed. Suddenly the titantron kicks on.

Randy Orton is shown with Jackie, now in the parking lot next to an expensive Corvette.

Randy Orton: You're right, Mick. You are a coward! And as much as I know you want to lay your hands on me here in your hometown, unfortunately for you.... that chance is long gone. You took the Royal Rumble away from me, so I'll focus on making my career what I want it to be. And that starts with staying away from has been COWARDS like you. Go ahead and continue to beat up the guy who has the fastest elimination in Royal Rumble history. I'll go watch the rest of RAW from Rooftop 32.

Orton promptly climbs into the Corvette with Jackie and screeches off. Foley grits his teeth as he stares on against the ropes.

JR: Well it seems to me the tables have turned, haven't they King? Randy Orton spent months baiting Mick Foley into coming back and now that he has, he wants nothing to do with him! It sure seems to me that Randy Orton is acting like a coward, not Mick Foley!

King: Give me a break, JR! Randy Orton is a true hardcore legend! He gave Mick Foley plenty of chances to come back. And he chose to ruin Randy Orton's Royal Rumble moment! Why should he be rewarded for that?!

JR: Randy Orton spat on Mick Foley! He ran a disgusting ad we had to see for weeks on end. Mick Foley is retired, dammit!

King: Exactly! Hey his house is only a few miles from here, maybe he should go back to his Lazy Boy! Haha!

JR: You know, Randy Orton may not be pleased that Mick Foley called his bluff... but he did! And I don't think Mick Foley is going anywhere until he gets Randy Orton in that ring!

=============

Back from commercial, we are greeted to Eric Bischoff's office for the first time tonight. Bischoff is already mid conversation as Bobbi, his new secretary, plays with her very open blouse at the desk. Bischoff is facing off camera, talking to two individuals who aren't seen.

Eric Bischoff: ...and I am so surprised.... shocked, actually... that I was the first General Manager to take a chance on you guys. And I do see great things coming from you.... but you need to prove yourself. So tonight---

???: Hey WHAT THE HELL BITCH-OFF!

Bischoff's eyes nearly shoot out of his head as that very familiar voice nearly kicks the door down from the other side.

Scott Steiner, enraged expression on his face, pops into the office and immediately sticks his finger in Bischoff's direction. Bobbi quickly gets out of her chair.

Bobbi: Oh sir, you'll need to make an appointment!

Scott Steiner: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THE UNNERTAKER IS HERE TONIGHT and you don't even have the courtesy to TELL ME so I can knock that deadman BITCH TO NEXT WEE..... oh hey mama, you want some of this Big Poppa Pump? I can give you a ride that never stops, baby.

Steiner starts flexing at Bobbi, who stands amazed at Steiner's physique. Bischoff takes advantage of the distraction to interject.

Eric Bischoff: I don't appreciate you barging into my office to demand anything from me, Scott. I don't have anything to do with whatever the hell The Undertaker is doing on my show. Frankly, I don't want anything to do with what The Undertaker is doing! I can't get one of my top superstars in Kane to do ANYTHING until that is solved, which is already a very frustrating situation for me. I don't need you, Scott Steiner, to add to that frustration. Do you understand?

Scott Steiner: Yeah I understand that you're a spineless little fool, Eric! You can't be a man and stand up for yourself, HUH? I put myself out there front and center for the Unnertaker! I still don't know what the hell happened to me but I'm a real man and I'mma make Unnertaker see what a real man looks like when I see 'em!

Eric Bischoff: Oh you want to see me stand up for myself? YOU'RE SUSPENDED!

Steiner immediately swipes a stack of papers off the desk of Eric Bischoff before marching his direction.

Eric Bischoff: Go ahead! Make it worse for yourself! You're suspended, want to make it a termination!? Get the hell out of my office, Scott. I'm THROUGH being bullied by the likes of you. Go think about respect while you're sitting at home for thirty days.

Steiner walks towards the door before turning towards Bobbi and handing her a piece of paper.

Scott Steiner: Give me a call, boulder holder.

King: Waaah!

Steiner promptly walks off and slams the door behind him. Bischoff exhales deeply as he turns back towards the two he was talking to .

Tough Enough 3 champions John Hennigan and Matt Cappotelli stand by, nervous expressions on their face after just seeing a superstar suspended before their very eyes.

John Hennigan: So is that.... is that like a common thing here or?

Eric Bischoff: I wouldn't advise being cute with me, gentlemen. I'm not the Eric Bischoff who is insulted, pushed around or kicked in the face by everyone else anymore. I run the most successful sports entertainment brand there is, Monday Night RAW! I'm happy to have you here but you better earn your place quick because just like I can replace Scott Steiner, I can replace the two of you much faster. So let it be known... if you lose your match tonight, I will not expect to see you back on RAW anytime soon. Good luck out there.

JR: Good God, talk about pressure!

King: Tough Enough!? Those butterflies in their stomachs are probably about as big as eagles right now, JR! And they have to win tonight?!

JR: These are two immensely talented young men, King. John Hennigan is an amazing natural athlete and Matt Cappotelli has the heart of a lion! But that is a big stake!

King was right, the butterflies for the Tough Enough winners were certainly there as they competed in their first match among a sold out crowd. La Resistance, at first, treated this match as a joke but it became clear that the young duo came ready to impress.

As frustrations mounted, La Resistance used their wit to keep the match in their favor while Cappotelli was dominated by the duo. But once the hot tag was hit, Hennigan used his crazy athleticism to get the match back in his favor. As Dupree desperately tried to get control of things, Hennigan hit a crazy fast roll up that caught the Frenchman by surprise, giving the upset victory to the Tough Enough champions!

Winner: John Hennigan & Matt Cappotelli @ 7:11 (41)

JR: By God, they did it! These two young men have shocked La Resistance!

King: I can't believe it! Winning your first match in the WWE against former World Tag Team Champions?!

JR: This will truly be a night to remember for John Hennigan and Matt Cappotelli both to kick off their young careers!

=============

Cade made sure that Mark Jindrak was out with him this one, but it certainly wasn't going to make much of a difference. Goldberg went through Garrison Cade like a steam train. And when Jindrak attempted to get involved, he was quickly taken out with a spear of his own. After three minutes of offense between both men, Goldberg hit Garrison Cade with a spear and Jackhammer to put this one away.

Winner: Goldberg @ 3:18 (71)

JR: By God, Goldberg with another quick victory here on RAW!

King: Goldberg's been on a tear lately, JR... but do you think that win impressed Sheriff Austin at all?!

JR: That I couldn't say, King. But something tells me we're about to find out.

JR: And here comes The Rattlesnake!

Austin promptly heads out down the stage, talking trash his whole way down and not even waiting for Goldberg to hit the showers. Goldberg hasn't been patient with anybody as of late, but stays in the ring for a change of pace as Austin gets in. Despite already having an earlier entrance with the crowd to start the show, Austin still takes his time posing in each corner with his one finger salute while Goldberg stares silent. After a few moments, Austin grabs the mic and stares Goldberg down with this ice blue eyes.

Steve Austin: Well congratulations to you, Goldberg. Ya' beat Garrison Cade. What? I said you just beat Garrison Cade. And I see you haven't seen it fit to take an interview in so damn long, ol' Stone Cold is here to conduct one himself. So Goldberg, tell Austin 3:16 this... how do you feel about giving ol' Stone Cold a spear right in the middle of this right here ring? What? What about one of those jackhammers, WHAT?

Goldberg simply snarls as Austin gets closer to Goldberg's face.

Steve Austin: Y'know, I had a talk with you last week about stepping up to the plate... and I'm about wondering when you're fixin' to do that. Just about everyone said you had the Royal Rumble in the bag... and you lost. What? I said you FAILED! And when you tumbled your happy ass out of the ring and onto the mats, it seems to me that Goldberg went from wanting to spear Stone Cold Steve Austin.... wanting to spear Triple H.... wanting to spear Shawn Michaels.... wanting to spear Brock Lesnar.... wanting to spear Eddie Guerrero..... to wanting to spear Al Snow... Garrison Cade... Orlando Jordan... Just Joe... The Brooklyn Brawler... and the Gobedly damn Gooker.

King: Wah! The Gooker, JR?! When'd he come back to the WWE?

JR: I think what Austin is getting at here is a good point though, King. Goldberg was at the top of the mountain just two months ago!

Steve Austin: So you tell me, Goldberg... now that you stand here in the ring, one on one, with Stone Cold... why don't you go ahead and show me what it is about Goldberg that---

King: Huh? What's this?

JR: I have no earthly idea what this music is, King, but look at the stage!

Several stage hands begin setting up some sort of track as this unknown music plays, cutting Austin off from Goldberg. Two wooden ramps are placed down as a ring is brought out to it's center. The ring is set on fire, giving the arena a red glow. Austin and Goldberg both silently stare in bewilderment as another sound is heard.

A masked rider on a motorcycle wheels the stage and sets themselves up near the ramp. After a few revs, the biker bravely jumps a ramp, through the ring of fire and lands perfectly on the other ramp. The mysterious biker raises their arms up in the air in victory and drives off to the back. The stagehands quickly disesemble the pieces as the music fades. Austin turns back to Goldberg, who has by now already left and is walking up the ramp to the back.

JR: Well it looks like Goldberg is still not in the mood to talk to anybody but King, what in the world did we just witness?

King: Well that was one heck of a motorcycle stunt wasn't it, JR?

JR: Certainly was quite a sight, but who was that motorcyclist and what the hell are they doing here in Nassau Coliseum?!

Christian and Chris Jericho are seen moments before their upcoming tag match, putting on the final preparations. Jericho is winding the last of his black wrist tape on as Christian approaches from the other side of the room, patting Jericho on the back.

Christian: Hey buddy.... I'm sorry about last week. I admire you going out there and taking on Shawn Michaels for us. I'm sorry you came up short and... I'm sorry I wasn't out there. But this thing with you and Trish.... I don't know what to think, man. I can't help but feel you're being played for a fool.

Chris Jericho: Look Christian, you need to start accepting some things. You're my best friend. And Vitamin C -- BAY-BAY -- is here to stay as far as I'm concerned. But Trish... look, I have a lot of making up to do with Trish. I regret ever, EVEEEEER doing that bet with you. Because no matter what Trish is in my life... she's a very important part of it. And you need to accept that if we're going to continue dominating the tag team division.

Christian: Well that's the thing, Chris. We're not! We're hurting. WrestleMania is just around the corner and... well, what the heck are we even doing?! It just seems you're so distracted.

Chris Jericho: I guess you could say I am. And I'm sorry if I haven't been the best partner but... things will be different this week. We're going to wipe the floor with Chris Kattan and Will Farrell tonight, get our revenge against the Diddley Boyz and then take on on Evolution. That's the plan, Stan!

Christian unsurely nods as the duo head out of the dressing room and into the corridor.

Right on cue, Trish Stratus is seen right outside the dressing room, almost like she was waiting for the two to step out. Christian rolls his eyes as Jericho smiles.

Chris Jericho: Hey! We were just talking about you.

Trish Stratus: Oh? Well that's nice that you can talk about me and not to me all day.

Chris Jericho: Wait, what?

Trish Stratus: You know, Chris... I've been taking this whole forgiveness thing.... pretty slow. But last week I went out of my way to be ringside for your match with Shawn Michaels. And when it was all said and done, I went in the ring and comforted you.

Chris Jericho: You did! And... that was amazing of you, Trish. I really appreciate it.

Trish Stratus: Really? So where were you tonight?

Chris Jericho: You.... you wanted me out there for your match earlier?

Trish Stratus: Well I didn't say I wanted it or needed it but it's curious you didn't even offer. Not to mention it definitely could have saved me from a beatdown from Jazz.... I'm just glad Matt Hardy didn't put his hands on ME too.

Jericho somberly looks at the ground in reflection.

Chris Jericho: You're.... right. Trish, I don't know what I was thinking, I'm just so----

Trish puts her hand up and Jericho immediately stops himself.

Trish Stratus: Just stop. I don't need excuses, I don't need apologies.... just focus on your match tonight, Chris. I'll be fine. I got a goal. I'm going to win that tournament and I'm going to take Lita on at WrestleMania 20 and I'm going to be a five time WWF Women's Champion. But listen to your friend, Chris... what ARE you guys going to do?

Trish pauses for a moment before walking off. Jericho continues to look at the ground in thought. Christian looks at his partner with a look of irritation.

Christian: Chris don't even think about letting this get to you. We got to get back on track right freakin' now! Let's go.

Christian guides Jericho down the hall towards the stage.

JR: Well tag team action is coming up soon, King, as Vitamin C take on the team of Val Venis and Lance Storm... but you have to wonder what's going through Jericho's head right now!

King: Well Trish is right, JR! Poor Trish got her arms almost ripped out earlier tonight by that pitbull Jazz... where was Chris Jericho to save Trish then?!

JR: Well relationship issues aside, this is an important tag team match for both of these teams as everyone is vying for contendership!

As JR mentioned before, this was an important match. Though nothing is officially on the line here, these are two teams who have been struggling to stay on top of the ranks. Batista and Flair do not have any clear challengers to face them at WrestleMania currently and all tag teams on RAW are on alert to be that team. Venis and Storm came into this match very focused, even keeping their fun routine relatively serious today as they knew how much of a big win it would be to knock off Vitamin C. And with Chris Jericho's mindset right now, now is their chance to do so!

Jericho certainly had some determination in this match, Trish's words resonating with him deep. And as such, these four men tore the house down in the seven minutes they had to do it. A technical back and forth match with no shenanigans needed, this one was finally over when Jericho pinned Venis after a lionsault while Christian and Storm were battling outside the ring.

Winners: Vitamin C @ 7:04 (81)

JR: Well chalk up a victory for Vitamin C and perhaps Trish's words of advice to Jericho gave him just the nudge he needed!

King: Hey as I've been saying for awhile now... it's time to move on, Chris!

=============

As we come back from commercial, Jonathan Coachman is seen near the parking lot on his cell phone in the middle of a conversation.

Jonathan Coachman: Oh no, that's great! Yes, I got the papers right here. Thank you so much. Oh you know what? This is actually fantastic timing, I'll get with you here in a little bit! Buh-bye now!

Coachman flips his phone off and shoves it in his pocket as he looks off screen with a smile.

Bubba Ray Dudley: Alright Coach! We just saw your nancy boy little friends Cade and Jindrak in the medical bay! Where are they at to save you from a beating NOW?!

D-Von Dudley: Oh my brother, TESTIFY!

Spike Dudley: Hold on, guys! Let me get first dibs!

Spike beats his chest as he approaches Coachman, who still oddly has a smile on. As Spike winds his fist back, Coach throws his arms up and backs up.

Jonathan Coachman: Hold on just a minute there, fellas! I know you're just FIXING to get your hands on me, but I have bad news for you.

Coachman pulls a stapled stack of papers out of his pocket and shoves it in Spike's face.

Jonathan Coachman: With me no longer being "needed" by Eric Bischoff, I went ahead and revised my talent contract here on Monday Night RAW... and with the amount of violence that I've suffered here -- for no GOOD REASON I may add -- there is an order of protection for me. So if anyone... and I mean ANYONE... lays a hand on me unprovoked? It'll be their job! So go ahead! Get your "revenge"! Let's see if your employment here is worth it!

Coachman spreads his arms out, acting tough as opposed to his usually cowardly self with that protection order keeping him safe. The Dudley Boyz all look at each other in puzzlement before Bubba looks back at Coach with a look of disgust.

Bubba Ray Dudley: Can't say I'm surprised a little baby like you had to go and get yourself protected. But that's fine! We'll make sure your boys eat wood next Monday night!

The Dudleyz huff off as Coachman chuckles to himself.

JR: Protection?! Jonathan Coachman has been sticking his nose in everyone's business, now he needs to be protected from the consequences of that?

King: Coach is a weasel, we all know that JR! But maybe the Dudleyz should focus on something else!

JR: Well I don't disagree with that, King, but Coach having a protection clause in his contract could be a dangerous combination. Regardless of that, we have a slobberknocker of a main event coming up next, King!

King: It's time to put up or shut up from Rob Van Dam and Booker T! They said they could team up to take on Evolution... well, now they are! And with Shawn Michaels, no less!

JR: The Heartbreak Kid has been dying to get his hands on Triple H since the Royal Rumble! And tonight he has that opportunity in this six man tag team match... coming up next!

A wild brawl to be sure, the three babyfaces couldn't wait to get their hands on Evolution and it showed in the early moments of this one. Booker, RVD and Michaels all got some respectable offense in on all three members of the power stable. However Evolution is the most powerful force in the WWE right now for a reason and they were able to stay on top of this one for the most part with their advanced repertoire of dirty tricks.

Towards the end of this one, Booker T was able to snag a hot tag on HBK which lead to a flurry of offense for the Heartbreak Kid. A Sweet Chin Music to Flair was what nearly ended it, but Triple H very aggressively breaking the pinfall lead to all hell breaking loose and all six men brawling in and out of the ring.

Earl Hebner struggled to retain control and eventually lost of who was legal. HBK and Batista brawled outside while Booker was put down with a very illegal, but very unseen low blow from Flair. Triple H looked like he was about to put RVD down with a Pedigree, but RVD was able to counter by throwing Triple H right over. After a quick spin kick, RVD was up to the turnbuckle and the fans went bananas for what looked to be a Five Star Frog Splash. Flair, however, was able to quickly climb on the apron and shake the ropes to knock RVD right down to the mat below. Triple H quickly recovered to a score a lightning fast Pedigree. HBK saw the pin attempt right after, but was unable to save Van Dam in time before the three count.

Winner: Evolution @ 16:46 (71)

King: Well, JR, Evolution just went and proved why they are the most dominate stable in the WWE today!

JR: Rob Van Dam has been put down with a Pedigree but I think the rivalry here is far from over, King!

King: How many more chances do these three guys need, JR?!

JR: Regardless of this result, King, that was a slobberknocker of a main event and Rob Van Dam, Booker T and Shawn Michaels all proved they can absolutely hang with Triple H!

=============

JR: Well folks, you know when the boss of the whole damn thing is out here to close the show that something big is about to happen here... and with what's been happening here I shudder to think what that might be.

King: Set your VCRs! Call your friends, let them know that Mr. McMahon is here on Monday Night RAW!

The camera zooms out as Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring, doing his power walk as he always does, to find that the ring has a casket sitting right in the middle of it.

JR: And as you may see now, folks, a casket was brought out here to the middle of the ring during the commercial break and I have no earthly idea what Mr. McMahon plans on doing with that!

King: A casket in the ring with the Undertaker possibly lurking around? Wah! Be careful out there, Mr. McMahon!

JR: I'm sure Mr. McMahon knows exactly what he's doing right now and looking at that smarmy smile on his face, this seems to be all part of his mind games. But you should be cautious to play mind games with The Undertaker.

McMahon has made it to the ring by now and looks at the casket with a big smirk on his face, smacking the casket with his palm as he struts around the ring with his chest out. The fans quickly begin chanting for The Undertaker as Vince McMahon looks around the crowd.

Vince McMahon: Yes, yes! Say his name, dammit! Yell it out! UN-DER TA-KER! Come on Uniondale, say it with me.... UN-DER-TA-KER!

McMahon mockingly cups his ears as the fans continue to chant. McMahon's face quickly turns sour as he jolts the microphone back to his lips.

Vince McMahon: Well ladies and gentlemen, tonight we find out if The Undertaker.... is dead or alive. Because if memory serves me correctly.... Kane and I BURIED THAT SON OF A BITCH.... SIX FEET UNDER!

McMahon looks out to the audience with an evil smirk as the fans continue to chant the Deadman's name.

Vince McMahon: As a matter of fact, it was right here in this very casket that The Undertaker's career died. But as you all have seen these last few weeks.... we have witnessed some very strange occurrences that can only be described as.... supernatural! I myself was attacked with a cross embellished on my forehead. And for that.... I have some questions for a certain individual I'd like to bring out here tonight..... Eric Bischoff!

King: Bischoff?! Now wait a minute here....

JR: Seems to me that The Boss is not all convinced The Undertaker is truly responsible for these attacks! And Eric Bischoff just happens to be responsible for what goes on here at RAW.

After a few moments, Bischoff reluctantly comes out onto the stage, forcing a smile to appear confident to his superior as the Chairman of the WWE stares on with a stern expression. Bischoff makes his way to the ring before getting a microphone to respond to McMahon's request for his presence.

Eric Bischoff: Now Mr. McMahon.... I personally apologize for whatever is happening here on RAW. I'll have you now that I've poured several resources into investigating what happened to you and Kane at the Royal Rumble, as well as the attack on Scott Steiner last week.

Vince McMahon: Oh you have, Eric? Well... let's hear it. Let's hear what you've been doing to look into this matter. Because the way I see it... you're sitting on your ass back there in your office while everyone else runs this show for you!

Eric Bischoff: Mr. McMahon, I'm getting bulli--

Vince McMahon: YOU SHUT UP! I'M TALKING!

King: Wah! Don't ever talk over Mr. McMahon, JR!

Bischoff frowns as he backs up from the snarling, spitting Vince.

Vince McMahon: You know Eric, this Thursday on SmackDown I will be conducting a job performance evaluation for your counterpart, Paul Heyman. Mr. Heyman is suspended as General Manager of SmackDown until this evaluation is complete. And quite frankly... I have the right mind to do the same thing for you, Mr. Bischoff.

Bischoff looks at the ground and lightly nods his head as he looks back up at his boss. As he gulps, he gingerly raises the microphone back to his lips.

Eric Bischoff: Mr. McMahon, I'll be the first to admit that there was a small period of time there that my productivity as General Manager of RAW was low. There was! After Shawn Michaels kicked me in the face and this so called "Sheriff of RAW" Steve Austin turned around and overruled my decision.... I got fed up. So I took a break. And you know what, that was wrong. And I admit that was wrong, Vince. But I'm back with a vengeance and I'm telling you right now that I'm not putting up with ANYBODY who wants to mess with MY SHOW. That starts with Shawn Michaels. And that ends with whoever is playing this PRANK! I know someone has partnered with a staff member in the production truck to pull this Undertaker business off. We all know The Undertaker is GONE, Vince. You buried him. I witnessed it, Kane witnessed it, Dallas witnessed it! And I'm telling you right now, you give me one more week and I'll have a name ready for you right at the top of the show. I give you my word!

McMahon simply stares at Bischoff as his pleading turns to rambling, the impatience growing on his face. As Bischoff ends his plea, McMahon says nothing as Bischoff nods his head to confirm what he just offered. McMahon slowly begins to raise the microphone back to his lips, but the silence is broken by a very familiar voice.

???: OHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSS!

King: Waaaaah! Is that who I think it is?!

JR: That can only be one man.... and there he is, King!

McMahon's jaw drops as Paul Bearer makes an appearance on the stage, holding his precious urn with one hand and holding a microphone in the other.

Paul Bearer: Wellllllll, welllllllll, weeeeellllllllll!

The fans are frenzied to see The Undertaker's father in the flesh, a sign that Kane and McMahon's problems have certainly come from The Deadman, not a prankster as Bischoff is claiming.

Vince McMahon: Now just what the hell are YOU doing here, Paul Bearer? I do believe I have called on THE UNDERTAKER to come face me.... or is it that..... is it that The Undertaker is DEAD?

Paul Bearer: Ohhhhh Mr. McMahon, ohhhh you say that MY UNDERTAKER is DEAD? Well ohhhhh yessssss, Mr. McMahon.... My Undertaker IS DEAD! But you should know by now something and that is you cannot kill what is already dead OHHHH YESSSSSS!

Bearer slowly begins walking down the ramp as Bischoff and McMahon look at each other in puzzlement.

Eric Bischoff: Now hold on just a minute here, I don't remember ever offering you, Mr. Bearer, a contract here on Monday Night RAW. So I have to ask just what the hell you think you're doing here! Is it you that I have to blame for the lights... the senseless attacks?! I'm not playing around with this foolishness anymore! We all know The Undertaker is GONE! And I've about had it with this giant joke on Mr. McMahon and Kane!

Bearer continues walking down the ramp, now holding his urn up with one hand, directly towards Bischoff.

Paul Bearer: Ohhhhh fear not, Eric Bischoff! My Undertaker is not gone! He never was gone, ohhhhh yes! He is among us!

Vince McMahon: Then WHERE THE HELL IS HE DAMMIT?! So you mean... you mean to tell me that The Undertaker is here right now and too damn afraid to get in this ring with Vincent Kennedy McMahon?! Is that what you mean to tell me, Paul Bearer? Is The Undertaker.... AFRAID?

King: Waaaah!

JR: Well that will that always make you jump out of your seat and by god, here comes Paul Bearer's younger son Kane. And you have to know that business is about to pick up as Kane is closer than ever to the answers he's been wanting!

McMahon, Bischoff and Bearer, all with very different emotions on their face, watch on as Kane determinedly marches down the ring. Kane locks eyes with Bearer, who simply has his mouth open with a smile and his urn pointing sky high. Kane doesn't take long to get into the ring and takes the mic right from Bischoff's paws, who doesn't bother fighting it.

Kane: The Undertaker..... IS DEAD! I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM!

Kane gets right up in Paul Bearer's face, looking at the urn in his hands. Bearer points his finger towards his son.

Paul Bearer: Ohhhhh but my boy, my sweet sweet child.... you should know more than anyone what it takes to destroy my Undertaker. And the only thing that you and Mr. McMahon did to him.... was make him stronger than ever before OHHHHH YESSSSSSSS!

Kane paces around the ring with his hands up on his head, clearly troubled with the scene going on here. Bischoff, terrified with the three personalities who are in the ring right now and the potential fourth looming, backs into a corner in fear while McMahon silently looks on. Bearer looks back at his son Kane while pointing in McMahon's direction.

Paul Bearer: Kane, my boy.... you made a choice to side with this man here... but you will soon find out that the dark side is inevitable! I can't tell you when you will see your brother... but I can promise you THAT THE DAY IS COMING! A black hearse will be pulling back into the bays of the arena... and in the driver's seat will be My Undertaker, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES!

Kane continues pacing like a caged animal as McMahon's patience grows weaker.

Vince McMahon: You see this casket right here, Paul? This is where your son's career will sit if I have anything to say about it. Mark my words.... unless The Undertaker wishes to come out to this ring tonight... you will never see The Undertaker in a WWE ring ever again. I can guaran-damn-tee you that The Undertaker is----

The lights immediately go out and the crowd goes insane, several flashes being seen from people's digital cameras as they attempt to see what is going on.

JR: By God, King, we had to have known this was coming but it doesn't get any less eerie! I can't see a thing!

King: Get out of there, Mr. McMahon! This nutjob Paul Bearer is unhinged, JR! And if The Undertaker is really here with that casket in the ring.... waaaah!

JR: Well we can't see anything going on in the ring right now but after what we've seen when that bell tolls, I shudder to think what that ring is going to look like when the lights turn back on!

A slam is heard in the ring as the lights are still pitch black. After a few moments, the lights turn back on.

King: Oh my God, JR! Look at Bischoff!

JR: Good God, King! Eric Bischoff is laid out in the middle of the ring and... and look at cross on his forehead!

Eric Bischoff is indeed laid out, cross on his forehead just as happened to Vince McMahon and Scott Steiner prior. Bearer is in hysterics as he looks down at Bischoff's body, squealing in pleasure as he holds his urn up. Kane is stomps around the ring yelling for the Undertaker while McMahon marches right up to the father himself.

Vince McMahon: You son of a bitch, you think this is funny, huh? You think this is a joke?! Let me show what I think of that!

McMahon grabs Bearer by the collar and begins inaudibly shouting at him, spit flying all over Bearer's face. Bearer begins to grow a face of fear as McMahon's clutch grows stronger. Kane stares at the showdown for a moment but his eyes begin to grow. And not a moment later, he steps in and grabs McMahon by the throat.

Vince McMahon: AAAAHHH! Kane! What the.... what the hell are you doing! Get your damn hands off of me! Aaaaagggh. Kane! Unhand me, dammit!

Kane grits his teeth as he stares McMahon in the face.

Kane: Don't you.... ever.... TOUCH MY FATHER...

Kane hesitates a moment before lifting Vince McMahon up and chokeslamming him right into the casket in the middle of the ring. Bearer's arms shoot up in celebration as he quickly climbs out onto the mats below while Kane lifts and throws his arms down.

JR: Good god almighty! The chairman of the board has just been chokeslammed straight to hell!

King: What the heck, JR?! Why would Kane do that to Mr. McMahon! That idiot! What is he thinking?!

JR: Well despite Kane's hatred for his brother, it seems he still has love for his father. And Mr. McMahon crossed that boundary tonight! I have no earthly clue on what we just witnessed here tonight, King, or what is next! But for now, this is where we sign off. For The King, goodnight from Long Island!

Quick Results:

(Dark Match) Hurricane & Rosey def. Kasey James & Nick Dinsmore

(Dark Match) Molly Holly def. Christine Ricci

(Dark Match) Maven def. Al Snow

Trish Stratus def. Gail Kim

Test def. Tommy Dreamer

Matt Cappotelli & John Hennigan def. La Resistance

Goldberg def. Garrison Cade

Vitamin C def. Lance Storm & Val Venis

Evolution def. Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam & Booker T

Dawn · August 6, 2022

This one seems to be some phenomenal work and I will definitely be reading back to catch up on all events. Glad to see more writers coming back.

Gouge · August 12, 2022

SmackDown begins with a cold open to WWE Headquarters where Linda McMahon is seen seated in front of a desk inside a classy looking office.

Linda McMahon: Good evening. First of all, allow me to take this moment to thank the millions of WWE fans as well as the WWE SmackDown superstars who let their feelings be known last week on SmackDown. As you might have heard, current SmackDown General Manager Paul Heyman has been suspended from his duties until a thorough job evaluation has been conducted. WWE Chairman Vince McMahon will be conducting this evaluation. Due to unforeseen circumstances that occurred on Monday Night RAW, I am here to announce that Mr. McMahon will not be available here in New Hampshire nor do we have a date of when he will be available. As such, Mr. Heyman will continue to be suspended as the General Manager of SmackDown. His talent contract, however, has not been suspended and he is free to continue his managerial services for WWE Champion Brock Lesnar. In the interim of these events, the board has decided that a temporary General Manager must be in place until Paul Heyman's situation has been resolved. In the last 72 hours, we have been extensively interviewing candidates to replace Paul Heyman's duties effective immediately. This is an exciting adventure for a new General Manager and we wish them the best of luck in maintaining order here on WWE SmackDown. Thank you.

We quickly shift to the parking lot where a large bus is seen pulling into a special parking spot. TEAM LESNAR is seen printed on the side of it, however "TEAM" has been crossed out with a large X and only LESNAR is left pristine. As the airbreaks let out, the door opens up.

Paul Heyman, with a look of defeat on his face, slowly steps out of the bus and onto the asphalt of the parking lot. WWE Champion Brock Lesnar is not far behind. The men look behind them as the door shuts. Nobody else is coming out of that bus. Heyman shakes his head as the duo walk into the arena, the camera focusing on the LESNAR on the bus before we get to the SmackDown intro.

THURSDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN

Verizon Wireless Arena - Manchester, NH

11,592 fans

Cole: Welcome to WWE SmackDown, here live at the Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, New Hampshire! And Tazz, what an announcement from WWE CEO Linda McMahon to kick off the show!

Tazz: No kiddin', Cole! A new GM already?! Man, last week was historic. I ain't ever seen anythin' like that in my entire career! This whole locker room turned against Paulie! And I hate to say it, Cole... but the guy kind of deserved it!

Cole: You're damn right he did, Tazz! Paul Heyman has been stacking the odds in Team Lesnar's favor since he started here on SmackDown and last week was the final straw! And you said it, partner.. a new GM tonight! Who could it be?!

Tazz: Well I'm not sure who the candidates even are but here's a candidate to be WWE Champion, Cole!

Cole: Kurt Angle was indeed picked by Vince McMahon to take on Brock Lesnar at No Way Out! And that was just moments after Angle WON the United States Championship from the Big Show! What a historic night for the 1996 Olympic champion!

Angle slightly jogs out onto the stage, United States Championship tightly wrapped around his waste as Angle does his usual entrance to the ring. With a mic already in his hand, it seems Angle is not here to compete but has some things to say.

Kurt Angle: Woo!

Angle spins around the ring on one foot, showing off his belt while Angle holds his medals with one hand.

Kurt Angle: You know, I made a very big promise at the Royal Rumble and I have been beating myself up pretty hard for breaking that promise. But I can proudly stand here tonight and say that I'm making up for it. And it starts right here with THIS!

Angle unbuckles his championship belt and drapes it over his shoulder with a smile.

Kurt Angle: This is the United States Championship! And I, Kurt Angle, am the third reigning United States Champion for WWE SmackDown! And what this title represents is what is said right on the tin.... this championship goes out to AMERICA! And my reign is dedicated to the fighting men and women overseas in this war of terror!

Angle lifts the belt up in the air to a roaring crowd. Nodding his head, he places the belt back down before continuing.

Kurt Angle: Now I promise you that I will be a fighting, defending champion. Matter of fact, I am willing to put this title on the line... TONIGHT! Heck, I'll even put it on the line at No Way Out before I kick Brock Lesnar's butt and take his WWE Championship! That's right, don't think I forgot about that! Vince McMahon hand selected me, Kurt Angle, to take on Brock Lesnar. And let me tell you this.... if there's anyone on SmackDown who knows how to beat Brock, it's me. After all.... I made him TAP! OUT!

Fans immediately start chanting YOU TAPPED OUT, Angle smiling big as they do as he pictures what Brock Lesnar's face looks like right now.

Cole: Oh my.... and here comes the Rabid Wolverwine, Tazz!

Tazz: Benoit has gotta be in a foul mood, Cole. You could see the look on his face when Angle was picked to take on Brock Lesnar at No Way Out!

Cole: Chris Benoit has been working very hard to earn a shot against Lesnar, including a legendary performance in that Royal Rumble. But competition is stiff here on WWE SmackDown, partner. It's certainly a heartbreaker, but I don't think Benoit has any reason to give up!

Benoit wastes absolutely no time coming out onto the stage, cranking his neck as he walks down the ramp. Angle looks on with a slight smirk as Benoit invites himself into the ring.

Chris Benoit: Well, Kurt... I guess all I have to say at this point in time is congratulations. Congratulations on getting a WWE Championship shot at No Way Out. This kind of seems like.... deja vu, doesn't it? Last week I seem to remember coming out to this ring to congratulate Eddie Guerrero on winning the Royal Rumble, earning himself a championship match at WrestleMania. And here I am... with nothing.

Benoit immediately scowls as he stares at Angle's big blue eyes. Kurt shows no emotion to Benoit's spiel, not showing him the same sympathy that Eddie showed him last week.

Chris Benoit: The blood... the sweat, the tears, the SACRIFICES.... I have made to get myself to where I am today... has amounted to me being left out of the one thing I've been fighting for my entire career. You made Brock Lesnar tap out, Kurt? Well so did I! But that slimeball we use to call a General Manager had enough tricks up his sleeve to ever allow me to take that title off of Brock's hands.

Angle backs away a bit and puts his hand out, palm facing Benoit, as he cuts the Canadian Crippler off.

Kurt Angle: You hold on just a minute there, Chris. Trust me, I've watched you climb up the ranks. I've watched you hurdle over every obstacle thrown your way! You had an incredible run in that Royal Rumble. But John Cena...

Chris Benoit: JOHN CENA GOT LUCKY!

Angle immediately drops his arm down, not appreciating getting interrupted. Benoit's veins look ready to pop out of his head.

Chris Benoit: Five men I tossed out of that ring, ANGLE! I was purposely put into that match at NUMBER ONE! And I'm not about to listen to advice from a guy who came in at 29! I single handedly tossed THE BIG SHOW out of that ring when nobody else had the guts to take him on. And that little weasel came from behind...

Benoit shakes his head in frustration.

Chris Benoit: It doesn't matter, Kurt. It doesn't matter what happened. I lost. You lost. But yet... you get the title shot. And you know what? Like I was saying before... congratulations.

Benoit drops his arm down and gets up close to Angle, staring him face to face. Before things get anymore tense....

Cole: Well Benoit and Angle look like they're about to come to blows here in the middle of the ring and here comes a man who is very close friends with both of these men, Tazz!

Tazz: Eddie Guerrero won a very important prize in winning the Royal Rumble, Cole! You could almost say he's on top of the world as he's guaranteed to main event WrestleMania 20! That's a very exclusive club right there! But even with all this power he has... he's been sympathetic towards his friends!

Cole: But one man I can promise you he's not sympathetic to anymore is Chavo Guerrero, partner! And last week we saw that spoiled brat attack his uncle out of jealousy!

Eddie has a hustle in his step as he quickly rushes down the ramp and into the ring. He gets right between Angle and Benoit, using his hands to slightly separate the two.

Eddie Guerrero: Fellas, amigos! Chris, Kurt, cut this crap out RIGHT NOW! Look last week... heh, I'm having a lot of trouble, holmes. I'm having a lot of trouble trying to figure out if it was the worst week in my career or the best one. On one hand, mi sobrino, my nephew... my mentee, my BLOOD, holmes... he turned his back on me. He beat me to a bloody PULP right in the ring while I was celebrating the most prestigious win of my career. But at the same time... I witnessed an entire locker room stand up for what is right and knock the biggest dictator since Porfirio Díaz on his ass.

The fans cheer at the reference of Heyman getting unseated while Angle and Benoit both look at Eddie with an expression of understanding.

Eddie Guerrero: This fighting, amigos... it's not going to help anything. We still have one very important job to finish. And as much as I would love to take the WWE Championship off of Brock Lesnar myself at WrestleMania, vato.... Kurt, you're the man for the job! Vince McMahon personally selected you to take on Brock at No Way Out. And dammit, my friend, you need to do it!

Chris inaudibly shouts towards Angle, pointing at him as he looks at Eddie's direction. Eddie places a hand on Benoit's shoulder.

Eddie Guerrero: Chris, I get your frustration homie. You're my best friend in this whole world. We stepped into the unknown together, vato! We left WCW and came here for greener pastures. We risked EVERYTHING to come here and start fresh. And you know what, Chris? I screwed that up. I got fired. I got thrown out on my ASS. And that's on me, homie. And while I was out on the unemployment line, fighting in tiny independant companies trying to prove to the WWE that I can still do it... you were out injured for a year. Just imagine, holmes... imagine what we could have done with all that lost time.

Chris Benoit: The past is the past, EDDIE! You're right, you are my friend. You're my AMIGO! And I am so damn proud of you for winning the Royal Rumble. Hell, I was HOPING you'd win if I couldn't. But don't think for a second I'm going to sit here and allow you to take opportunity from ME! I want the WWE Championship! I want the rematch that I deserve! Paul Heyman is no longer in power... and nobody is here to stop me from getting Brock Lesnar one more time.

Tazz: I mean he's not wrong, Cole. Chris Benoit did make Brock Lesnar tap out. It just didn't count!

Cole: You're right, partner. Benoit was a major threat to take Lesnar's championship away. Paul Heyman made sure that never happened. But can we just take a moment to realize this big mess that Paul Heyman has caused?!

Kurt Angle: Gentlemen... I hope you know I respect the hell out of both of you. And you're right Eddie, last week was AMAZING! It was fun! We took the bull by the horns and we showed Paul Heyman that the power of the PEOPLE is a force you cannot ever fight! And together we---

Chris Benoit: What makes YOU think you deserve that championship match over ME, KURT?

Angle frowns towards Benoit, once again being interupted by the Rabid Wolverine. Benoit again gets in Angle's face. Eddie tries to separate the two once more, but with Angle growing impatient with Benoit, it's a little tougher to play peacemaker. Suddenly...

Cole: Wait a minute! What the heck is this?!

Tazz: That music, Cole! I ain't ever heard that music on WWE SmackDown but I've definitely heard it before!

Cole: Well that's Christopher Nowinski, folks and.... well, I'm not really sure what he's doing out here!

Tazz: Hey! I had a hand in training this kid! And let's be real, he really should have won Tough Enough, Cole! Kid's a Harvard graduate, how many WWE superstars can say that? I'll answer for ya', nobody else!

Cole: Look that's great Tazz, but what the hell is Nowinski doing here on SmackDown? Not only is Christopher Nowinski on the injured list, he's a RAW superstar!

Nowinski indeed makes his way to the stage to a very confused looking crowd, the three men in the ring looking similarly confused. Nowinski is obviously not dressed to compete right now, wearing a red polo shirt with an embroiled Harvard crest and an expensive pair of slacks. The ivy league superstar has a microphone in hand.

Christopher Nowinski: I am so terribly sorry to break up all this fatuousness... but I have a major promulgation to make and a solution to this! I, Christopher Nowinski, am your incipient General Manager of SmackDown! Who would have conjectured? A Harvard graduate the top candidate? Why of course!

Cole: What?! Christopher Nowinski?! This guy is our new General Manager, Tazz?!

Tazz: Hey why the hell not, Cole?! He's got more credentials than just about.... anyone! Did you graduate from Harvard, Cole?

Cole: Syracuse University, Tazz. And look, I'm not debating Nowinski's education! But running SmackDown isn't exactly about having a Bachelor's degree, Tazz!

Tazz: How about we give the kid a chance to talk, Cole? Look at this, three of the biggest personalities on SmackDown in that ring. Go show them what you got, kid!

Kurt Angle: Well thank you for coming out here and telling us that, Chris. But as you seen here last week, it's a fine line between being a general manager and a dictator! And you got a locker room full of guys who are just waiting for you to start acting as Paul Heyman did! So go ahead, bestow us with your Harvard knowledge punk!

Tazz: Whoa! That's no way to talk to the kid, Cole!

Nowinski simply smiles. Hand on his chin and raises the microphone back up to his lips.

Christopher Nowinski: You know, there's a chant we like to do at Harvard football games when we're losing. It goes like this. "That's alright, that's ok, you'll all work for us some day!" And it looks like "some day" is here! Like it or not, I am the boss around here now, Kurt Angle. But you can trust me. I am no Paul Heyman. I do not need to obnubilate myself abaft a man like Brock Lesnar. Nor do I need to circumvent myself with a team of meat heads! I can do this job myself. So allow me to demonstrate as such. Eddie Guerrero won the Royal Rumble. Chris Benoit feels he's still the better man. So how about tonight we have Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit face each other one on one!

Despite Nowinski's smuggish attitude, the fans still cheer wildly for what should be an awesome main event. Eddie and Chris look at each other, a worried look on Eddie's face but a determined one on Chris'.

Christopher Nowinski: As for you Kurt Angle, you mentioned that you wanted to be a fighting champion did you not? Well allow me to give you that opportunity tonight as you will be defending your United States Championship tonight... against A-Train! And that match? Starts right now!

Angle nods his head and immediately begins stretching as A-Train's theme blares out on the PA. Benoit and Eddie leave the ring, looking at each other the whole way up the ramp.

Tazz: Whoa, Cole! Are you impressed yet?! Look at that first night as GM! What a crazy main event tonight that should be against Benoit and Eddie... and look at this big tough guy getting a chance at Angle's United States Championship!

Cole: Well I will admit that Christopher Nowinski handled himself well but he'd be wise to keep that cocky attitude in check with this locker room! But I absolutely agree that tonight's main event will be electric! And we're kicking things off here on SmackDown with an United States Championship match!

Angle wasn't exactly ready to compete this early into the show, but a true professional is always ready to fight. A-Train has been an unstoppable monster lately, picking up many big wins on his way to an impromptu United States Championship match. And A-Train certainly showed why he was a formible contender as he used his strength and size advantage to keep Angle from wrestling him to the ground too much in the early goings.

Still, Angle is a freak of nature and while A-Train had the early advantage in this one, Angle was able to eventually chop the big man to the ground. After a run of suplexes, Train used dirty tactics to get back on top of this one. A poke in the eyes left Angle stumbling backwards as A-Train aimed his patented bicycle kick for Angle's dome. But as A-Train pumped it up, Angle caught Train's leg and took him down with the ankle lock. After a few moments, A-Train had no choice but to tap out!

Winner: Kurt Angle @ 7:20 (86)

Cole: Angle retains to kick off his reign as United States Championship! And it's not often you see the A-Train tapping out like that!

Tazz: A-Train is a big, mean, tough dude who has been dominating in that ring lately. He put on a tough match but Kurt Angle is another level, man. I can't imagine who is going to be able to get that belt away from him!

Cole: And you heard Kurt yourself, Tazz! He wants to be the first ever double United States and WWE Champion!

=============

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to SmackDown! And Tazz, here comes John Cena!

Tazz: Cena's been on a tear lately, Cole. This is the dude who eliminated Chris Benoit from the Rumble! And look at those gorgeous ladies on his side, whoa!

Cole: Torrie Wilson and Sable have taken quite a liking to the "Doctor of Thuganomics", partner! And what better pair to have your arms linked with than Playboy cover girls?!

Cena, wearing a New Hampshire Fisher Cats baseball jersey to play up to the fans, strolls on out with Torrie Wilson and Sable linked on both sides of the rap superstar. Cena is all smiles and so are the girls! Looks like with whatever happened to Vince McMahon on Monday, any concern Sable may have for her usual partner is lost on the attention she's getting from John. The trio head to the ring and Cena immediately grabs a microphone, holding his arm out to cut his music off.

John Cena: Yo, yo, yo, yo, YOOOOOOOOO! New Hampshire, what is UP!? So let me lay it down to you like this.... things have been crazy on the blue brand! Some Harvard chump walks in and thinks he owns the land? Guess Heyman is gone, we can all be glad. And soon enough I suspect we'll find "The Next Big Thing" was just the "Next Big Fad"! Chavo and Eddie, Los Guerreros, are no more. And it seems to me Dawn Marie is still a dirty, stinking whore! But for me? Well just look to my side. A couple of gorgeous ladies and a whooooole lotta pride. After all, Chris Benoit---

Cole: Well I can't say I'm surprised to see John Cena being interupted by Ernest Miller here, after all we did see Cena give Ernest Miller a F-U last week!

Tazz: Ernest Miller pinned the boss at Royal Rumble, Mr. McMahon himself! And let's just say Miller feels a bit unappreciated here on SmackDown, Cole. And that unappreciation starts with those ladies in the ring!

Cole: Sounds like jealousy to me, Tazz!

Ernest Miller, to the crowd's chagrin, makes his way out onto the stage, immediately waving his hands towards Cena and the girls.

Ernest Miller: Naw, naw, naw! We ain't doing this, you hear me now? We ain't doing this anymore! Let me just remind you all here tonight, you imbeciles, you idiots, that I'M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME, ME! And you know what? I don't remember anyone from HQ from their iron towers looking at The Cat and saying, hey, that guy would make a great General Manager! Former WCW Commisioner, danced with James Brown, and not to mention... a THREE-UH TIME-UH KAR-ATE CHAMP-YUN! You heard that, Cena? THREE TIME!

Miller does a swift spin kick and gets in fighting pose.

John Cena: Oh damn, WCW Commisioner was The Cat!? Oh wait a minute... I forgot. Nobody cares about that! You can keep going on about things you did down south. But here on SmackDown, all you've got is some nut in your mouth!

Torrie and Sable chuckle as Miller scowls towards Cena, shaking his head.

Ernest Miller: And that's exactly what I'm saying right there, ya'll. That FILTH! That ROT! That's all you got, Cena? You gonna shout some profantities with your hippity hoppity rapping to me, THE CAT? Well you keep running your mouth, punk! You see last week, you assaulted me while my back was turned! And you and I both know in a fair and square match-up? Well, it's simple. You ain't got nothing on me!

John Cena: Well then let's put that money where your mouth is, Billy Blanks!

Cena takes off his jersey and motions for Miller to come down to the ring to face him.

Ernest Miller: Naw, naw! You know what, Cena? You know what I got a problem with? It's not just you, no, it's those... those little HOOCHIES you got with you there, that's right! Torrie, Sable, what is it that you guys do that puts YOU on the programs over ME? You get nekkid in a magazine and now it's all about Torrie Wilson? Sable, you get a little jiggy with it and now it's about Sable eh? Naw, naw. You know what? You and Torrie made such a wonderful team last week Cena... let's see ya'll team again tonight!

Cena shrugs his shoulders and looks over towards Torrie. Torrie nods and places her elbow on Cena's shoulder, showing she's ready to compete. Miller smiles.

Ernest Miller: That's great, that's great! So a mixed tag team match here tonight?! But who will MY partner be? Well...

Nidia curiously wanders out to the ring. Still not being able to see, Nidia's arms are reaching out, feeling around for her surroundings. She eventually starts patting on Ernest Miller. Miller looks Nidia up and down.

Ernest Miller: Oh I'm sorry, I forgot to mention. I don't quite have a partner ready for tonight! But this little lady here sure does!

Cole: Wait a minute!

Tazz: Jamie Noble?! We haven't seen him in weeks!

Jamie Noble storms out and grabs Nidia by the arm, tugging her away from Miller. Nidia begins shouting "Jamie?!" and embraces her man, who has been missing for about a month.

Jamie Noble: I dunno how the hell my lady here got left out of the chance to be in Playboy in favor of YEW TWO! But I sure am fixin' to show yew all what yer missin' out on!

Jamie pulls Nidia up close and promptly kisses her very sloppily. Miller throws his head back in disgust as Jamie looks back towards Cena, Torrie and Sable who don't look impressed one bit. Jamie grabs Nidia's arm and drags her down to the ring as this match is about to be underway!

Noble was hyped to be back on the SmackDown roster and was a little pitbull in the early goings in this one, coming at Cena with a point to prove. The Doctor didn't let Jamie get offense for long, however, as the blue chipper kept Jamie at bay. Just as Cena began getting some offense in, Jamie quickly tagged in Nidia to get Cena out of the match. Nidia, still not being able to see, was not able to do much to Torrie despite Nidia being a superior wrestler. It wasn't long before Jamie found ways to distract the referee and use Nidia as a weapon, much like he was doing earlier, to shotgun his girlfriend into Torrie like a human bullet.

It didn't take long for this to enrage Cena, certainly not a fan of another man putting his hands on Torrie. Cena would take Jamie out and brawl with him on the outside. With Jamie taken out of the equation, Nidia again was handicapped without any aid to guide her. Torrie was able to hit Nidia with a quick facebuster to put this one away.

Winner: John Cena & Torrie Wilson @ 5:36 (59)

Cole: Well Jamie Noble is back but it certainly seems like he hasn't had any time to reflect on the way he treats his girlfriend, Tazz! Once again, Nidia is used like a human weapon tonight and thankfully it doesn't go in Noble's favor tonight.

Tazz: Hey, good on John for stoppin' that crap as it started! Jamie Noble is a terrific wrestler, Cole. But usin' your girl like that just ain't right!

Cameras cut to the dressing room of Brock Lesnar. Lesnar is seen sitting on the bench while cleaning his belt with a rag while Heyman paces back and forth.

Paul Heyman: Christopher Nowinski. Hm. Not exactly my first choice, but I have no choice but to support the kid.

Lesnar looks up with a perplexed look on his face.

Brock Lesnar: Why?

Paul Heyman: Look I can stand here and be bitter and wish failure on him but fact of the matter is... we need Nowinski to understand the very thing I've been saying all along. And that's all about you, Brock, being the very image of what Ruthless Aggression is. And what SmackDown is all about. You know... I don't need to be in charge to show everyone that, right? Hell, I don't need a team here to glorify you. Brock, you are the most DOMINATE CHAMPION in the WWE. There's nobody that can touch you. NOBODY!

Lesnar firmly nods as the door bursts open. Lesnar immediately springs to his feet as Heyman extends his arm out towards Lesnar to sit still.

In walks the Big Show, with a smirk on his face. Heyman immediately scowls as he looks at the former Team Lesnar member, who immediately turned his back on Heyman after finding out that the balls were rigged in the lottery.

The Big Show: Heh. I can think of somebody that has beaten Brock Lesnar. I still remember it like yesterday. Beating you for the WWE Championship, Brock Lesnar.

Show chuckles as Lesnar stares a hole into Show. Heyman smirks and shakes his head.

Paul Heyman: Hey, that's great! You remember beating Brock Lesnar in his rookie year. Well guess what, Show? Brock Lesnar has grown since then. And you? Well... I don't know. Seems to me all you know how to do... is lose. How's that shoulder healing from your championship being removed from it last week, huh?

Show looks down at his empty shoulder and back at Heyman, shaking his head.

The Big Show: You know what, Paul? I realized exactly what you were all about last week. I can't believe it took me that long to see exactly what everyone else was seeing... but you're a rat. I didn't come in here for a fight, Brock. I didn't come in here to challenge you. But I did come here to say... karma is going to hit you both pretty hard, pretty soon.

Show promptly walks off as Heyman locks the door from the inside.

=============

Back from commercial, we are greeted to a shot of the parking lot where Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle are standing, looking at something off screen. As the camera adjusts itself, it's revealed that they are looking at the empty Team Lesnar bus. Angle puts his arm on Eddie's shoulder.

Kurt Angle: You see that, Eddie? We did that. In just one day, we were able to dismantle Team Lesnar. That's all it took. All of us working together.

Eddie Guerrero: Si, Kurt. Working together. That's exactly what I'm saying, holmes.

Kurt Angle: Well you know I'm all for working with you, Eddie. You're my friend! But Chris Benoit... I don't know. Don't you think he's been acting strange?

Eddie Guerrero: Look, Kurt, Chris is my best friend. We've been through everything together! He's just... he's coping, amigo. We all know how it feels to be so close to redemption and not getting it. But Chris is with us, holmes. He'll always be with us.

Kurt Angle: So how's this match going to go down between the two of you?

Eddie Guerrero: Hey amigo, friendly competition. I got no problem taking Chris on in the ring. Hell, it's fun! And why not see who the better man is? I'm sure he'll like it too. And when it's done, I'll hug him just like a brother.

Kurt Angle: Well I'm glad you can look at it like that, Eddie. I hope Chris feels the same way. But say... you never did answer Paul Heyman last week... what are your plans? Are you taking on the WWE Champion or the World Heavyweight Champion?

Eddie Guerrero: Holmes, after everything that's happened I... I can't leave SmackDown, amigo. This is my home. And there's a lot left to do. I'm taking on the WWE Champion, amigo.

Kurt Angle: You know that could be me, right?

Eddie Guerrero: I sure do, vato. Or it'll be Brock Lesnar. And if you can't beat Brock Lesnar at No Way Out, I will gladly be the man to do it at WrestleMania 20.

Angle nods unsurely as the two men now gaze around the parking. After a few short moments, Angle lightly slaps the back of his hand against Eddie's chest before pointing out towards a car. Panicked, Angle speaks up.

Kurt Angle: Wait a minute! Look at that car!

The camera shoots over to where Angle is pointing and it's revealed to be the same vehicle that Chavo Guerrero used to escape last week when being chased down. Angle and Guerrero quickly head towards the car, which is currently idling.

Kurt Angle: That's the same car Chavo was in, Eddie!

Eddie Guerrero: Chavo! He's been doing his best to avoid me! You little burro, you get out of there!

Eddie and Angle look inside the slightly tinted driver's side window with a look of confusion.

Kurt Angle: That's... not Chavo.

Suddenly, the back seat's window starts to open...

Sure enough, Chavo Guerrero sticks his head out and promptly spits on Eddie Guerrero.

Chavo Guerrero: ¡Te odio, Eddie!

Angle immediately attempts to wrangle Chavo's head, but the car screeches off before either man can react. Angle helplessly jogs towards it as Eddie's body shakes in rage, gritting his teeth towards his nephew's now escaped car.

Cole: I can't believe the disrespect from Chavo Guerrero! How sickening! First he beats his uncle to a pulp last week and now he has just spat on him!

Tazz: I can't support Chavo on this one, Cole. You're absolutely right. And then for him to just run away like that?! Kid's lost his marbles, Cole. And he's going to pay the price for what he's done one way or another, no doubt about it!

Cole: And who in the hell is driving Chavo Guerrero around like a chauffeur?!

Mysterio and Dragon got their chance at redemption for Kyo Dai ruining their Cruiserweight Championship match the last week. Though the two masked men certainly still have competition with each other, especially with Ultimo's long awaited title shot disappearing, they still have lots of respect for one another.

In this high flying match, the veterans certainly had an advantage over the young tag team. And with Tajiri not around to aid his henchmen, Ultimo and Rey were able to put this one away relatively quick with Rey landing the 619 on Akio.

Winner: Rey Mysterio & Ultimo Dragon @ 5:50 (60)

Cole: What a team these two make, Tazz! And look at this sight, two masked superstars who know each other so very well!

Tazz: Well I can't help but suspect that these two are still all business after last week, Cole. Ultimo lost his chance at getting that title from Rey as their match was thrown out! And you know Dragon hasn't forgotten that!

Ultimo and Rey stare each other down in the ring, Rey offering a handshake to Dragon to try to break the tension.

Before Dragon accepts the handshake, Tajiri appears on the stage holding up the Cruiserweight Championship. With a big smile on the face of the Japanese Buzzsaw, Mysterio immediately attempts to go after Tajiri, but Dragon chooses to accept Mysterio's handshake at that very moment. Not seeing Tajiri behind him, Dragon is confused at Rey withdrawing his handshake to leave and clearly gets offended over what he deems a lack of respect. After a short argument, Mysterio rolls out of the ring in pursuit of Tajiri, but he's long gone by the time he gets to the ramp. Dragon shakes his head in the ring as he watches Mysterio run to the back.

Cole: Well a misunderstanding has put these two right back at odds with each other but the bigger story is on Tajiri, Tazz... he has no business holding that Cruiserweight Championship!

Tazz: Tajiri feels he's still the champion! And until Rey Mysterio is able to get that belt back from him, I don't believe that feelin' is going away!

Cole: Mysterio DID take that title from him, Tazz! In a match! Rey Mysterio is the Cruiserweight Champion, not Tajiri!

Tazz: Meanwhile Ultimo Dragon wants his rematch against Rey MYsterio for the championship that Rey doesn't have right now... man, what a mess!

Cameras swiftly cut to the back where Bradshaw and Hardcore Holly are seen sitting at the APA office. The round table is cluttered with cans and cigar ashes. Holly seems a lot more relaxed today than he has been lately, slouched on the chair with a beer in his hand. The two men clink their cans against each other.

Bradshaw: Cheers, partner. God the look on that stinkin' fools face when we dropped those balls down the ramp... haha, you'd think he about pissed himself!

Hardcore Holly: That was good, Bradshaw. Damn good. And I'm proud of you.

Bradshaw: Well shucks, Bob. You don't need to be proud of little ol' me. I'm an ass kicker. I'm a poker player. I'm a beer drinker. I'm a cigar smoker. Aw, hell. It's like I always say, partner, I'm here for a good time.

Hardcore Holly: Well Bradshaw, there's plenty of time for fun. But don't lose focus. We got a lot more to do around here.

On the other side of the fence, the FBI are seen strolling into their usual area parked next to the APA office. The betting station, however, is nowhere to be seen. After last week's events, the FBI have been forbidden to continue their "activities". And it seems they also owe a whole lot of money to a whole lot of people. Nunzio, Palumbo and Stamboli pace around their area in silence before Nunzio looks over at the APA office. The three men walks towards the door frame as Bradshaw lifts his beer up.

Bradshaw: Neighbor! You come to visit? Afraid I haven't put the hot dogs on the grill yet, son.

Nunzio: 'Ey, you shut your smart mouth of yours, capice?

Bradshaw: Hostile, are we? You know I seem to recall you boys comin' over here every week trying to rub my follies in my face but it seems to have done you real good, hasn't it?

Chuck Palumbo: You're still a loser, Bradshaw!

Johnny Stamboli: Yeah and you think partnering around with this chump makes you any better?

Hardcore Holly: Oh I'm a chump, huh? Sounds to me like you boys are fixing for a fight. And if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll damn well get.

Nunzio: A fight, eh? Yeah a fight sounds good. My boys here are itchin' to be tag team champions. And beating you two losers will show everyone why they should be challengin' for them. But ya' know what? I wanna get my licks in too, you see here?

Nunzio does some sloppy looking shadow boxing as Bradshaw and Holly look at each other in confusion.

Hardcore Holly: Then put yourself in, Raging Bull!

Bradshaw: Oh please do! I've been dying to get my hands on you!

Nunzio: Oh yeah? Well let's do this then. The FBI vs. Bradshaw, Hardcore Holly and.... heh! Wait a minute... I only count two of you. Tell you what, we'll give you five minutes to find a partner. Then come meet us out in the ring. And when you do that.... it's arrivederci for you!

The FBI quickly scurry off as Bradshaw and Holly stand up from the table.

Hardcore Holly: Partner, huh? You know I may have some ideas there after last week.

Bradshaw: Whoa, hold your horses there, Bob. Partner?! We don't need a partner. Nunzio's like half a guy, you think we really need to get someone else to even the odds?

Hardcore Holly: Don't be foolish, Bradshaw.

Not before long, Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty walk into view, Kishi front and center.

Rikishi: We overheard your little problem. Scotty and I are no friends of the FBI. And what I'd do to put a little ass on it with that little rat Nunzio.

Rikishi chuckles as he slaps his behind.

Hardcore Holly: So you, Rikishi... you want to team with us tonight to take on the FBI?

Rikishi: You damn ri---

Scotty 2 Hotty: Hold on, Kish!

Rikishi is slightly taken back by Scotty cutting him off. Scotty puts himself in front of Rikishi and looks Holly and Bradshaw up and down.

Scotty 2 Hotty: You know.... last week... you guys discovered my name in all those balls.

Bradshaw: Heh. Sure did. Hell of a screwjob Heyman pulled over on us, huh?

Scotty 2 Hotty: Do you have any idea how embarassing it is that my name was put in those balls as a slam dunk for Brock Lesnar? Do you have any idea how that might feel that you all crossed me off right away?

Hardcore Holly: Scotty, don't take this the wrong way but you and Lesnar are... two different breeds, son.

Scotty 2 Hotty: No-no-no! I could have done it! Come on, Kishi, right? I could have beaten Brock, right?

Rikishi looks at his friend and forces a smile.

Rikishi: With.... with proper training, sure! Yeah! You could do anything if you put your mind to it, pal.

Scotty nods and looks back at Bradshaw and Holly.

Scotty 2 Hotty: I think I can acknowledge I have a long way to go when it comes to showing people I have what it takes but... come on, guys. Put me in, coach! Give me the shot!

Hardcore Holly: Wait a minute, you want us to pick you to face the FBI, Scotty?

Scotty 2 Hotty: That's exactly right! I know I can---

Hardcore Holly: Enough! You're in, son! Go get ready!

Rikishi looks almost more surprised than Scotty is, who quickly scurries to his locker room to get ready. Bradshaw shoots a glare towards Holly.

Bradshaw: We got Rikishi and Scotty both asking to team with us and you pick Scotty. What the hell is wrong with you?

Hardcore Holly: You'd think you would admire what Scotty is trying to do here, Bradshaw. Cause it's exactly what your problem was not too long ago. Like we need Scotty anyway. Give the kid a chance, let's go.

Holly and Bradshaw head towards the stage, Bradshaw shaking his head in disbelief.

Cole: Well an interesting development here to say the least, partner! Scotty 2 Hotty has just inserted himself into a big six man tag team match!

Tazz: Man, I get where Scotty is coming from here but I sure wouldn't want to be in his shoes if he screws this up!

Scotty 2 Hotty definitely looked out of place being out there with the no-nonsense brawlers in Holly and Bradshaw, but he insisted on being on the one to start this match off. Nunzio started things out with the FBI, which lead to a pretty evenly matched cruiserweight match to kick off the match.

When the big men got involved, however, Scotty's weakness definitely got exposed while Bradshaw and Holly took matters into their own hands. Scotty gets laid out relatively early, the numbers game became a problem with Holly and Bradshaw constantly fighting off devious tricks from the underhanded FBI, always having the referee distracted to get in some cheap shots.

Scotty would eventually recover and a blind tag would put him into the match, feisty to prove himself. But within a few seconds, his head was nearly kicked off with a Jungle Kick from Chuck Palumbo. And that was enough for the pinfall victory.

Winner: The FBI @ 7:11 (47)

Tazz: 'Ho man, what a kick from Palumbo! I can't believe Scotty's head is still on!

Cole: Might not be for long, partner! Look at the expressions of both Bradshaw and Holly right now!

Tazz: These guys are hot right now!

Following the match, Bradshaw immediately begins shouting at Scotty while he lays on the floor, clutching his head in pain. Holly stands by with his hands on his hips, equally upset but not taking it out on the Master of the Worm.

Rikishi, with a hustle in his step, heads down to the ring to try to disolve the conflict in the ring. As Bradshaw continues shouting at Scotty, Rikishi steps in front of his friend, putting his hand up towards Bradshaw. Holly puts his hand on Bradshaw's shoulder, trying to get him to come with him. As Rikishi gets Scotty up to his feet, Bradshaw rushes towards him with his arm extended.

Cole: Hey!

Tazz: Clothesline from Hell! And down goes Scotty again!

Cole: You know, I completely understand why Bradshaw is frustrated here but this is uncalled for!

Rikishi immediately grabs hold of Bradshaw, but Holly steps between the two. Holly glares at Bradshaw with a look of disdain as Rikishi surrenders, tending to his friend. Bradshaw exits and heads up the ramp while Holly looks down at Scotty with a look of remorse.

Cole: Well I'm not sure what to make of all this, partner. Hardcore Holly has been trying his damndest to get Bradshaw out of his comfort zone and tonight it ends with a side to Bradshaw that we just haven't seen.

Tazz: Bradshaw always says he's just here for a good time but... things weren't very carefree out there tonight. Bradshaw nearly knocked Scotty's head off his shoulders with that!

=============

Cameras cut to where we finally see the office of Christopher Nowinski, which has been fully decorated to match his Harvard spirit. His diploma sits right above his desk. Trophies and football memorabilia line the walls. A Harvard pennant is stretched across the wall next to a framed jersey. Nowinski is seen admiring his office next an unimpressed looking World's Greatest Tag Team.

Nowinski turns back towards Benjamin.

Christopher Nowinski: So... University of Minnesota, huh? Decent school, I suppose. Certainly not Harvard. And Seton Hall! Those Seton Hall Pirates are tough. But again...

Nowinski motions towards his own trophies sitting behind his desk in a glass case.

Christopher Nowinski: Well... you know. Not Harvard. Wrestling scholarships for you gentlemen? You're looking at the captain of the 1997 Harvard football team. Linebacker. We won the Ivy League! Do you guys have any trophies?

Benjamin and Haas look at each other and then their WWE Tag Team Championship belts draped over their shoulders.

Shelton Benjamin: Is there a point to this, Nowinski? You called us in here. Was it really to just compare schools?

Christopher Nowinski: Now, now. I'm just getting to know my employees a little bit better. I thought maybe we could bond over our education but I completely understand that you guys are out of my league when it comes to that. But it was worth a try, no? But we can go right to business, sure. I just wanted to let you gentlemen know that The Basham Brothers have elected to use their rematch clause and I've deemed it appropriate for them to use it next week.

Charlie Haas: Great. So the Bashams want us again, huh?

Christopher Nowinski: It appears so! And I suppose it's within reason to wish you guys luck out there. I certainly say you have an educational advantage over those two, haha.

Haas and Benjamin give each other a perplexed look as the door is heard opening.

Christopher Nowinski: Mr. Heyman! What a surprise. It is my pleasure to finally meet you.

Heyman and Brock Lesnar walk into shot. Lesnar glares at the three men already in the office while Heyman walks up close to Nowinski, hands clasped over his lap.

Paul Heyman: Christopher Nowinski. You know, at this time last week I certainly didn't see myself talking to my successor in what use to be my old office. But here we are. Life certainly has a way of catching up to you, doesn't it?

Christopher Nowinski: Oh come on now, Paul. You and I both know that I'm merely an interim General Manager. I see no reason why you should fail your job evaluation I trust?

Paul Heyman: Oh-ho-ho, you have a lot more faith in the board of directors than I do, boy. But I digress.

Heyman puts his hand out for Nowinski to shake, which the Harvard graduate accepts.

Christopher Nowinski: Pleasure is mine.

Paul Heyman: You'll do right to stand by me, Nowinski. My client is the WWE Champion, as you might be aware. And he is the most dominate champion that the WWE has ever seen.

The World's Greatest Tag Team, who have not left yet, stare at Lesnar, who has no issue staring at them right back. Heyman and Nowinski notice the tension and then turn back towards each other.

Christopher Nowinski: Oh yes, I'm well aware of Brock Lesnar. And might I just say that I've been impressed with his.... dominance!

Paul Heyman: Well then I expect that you.... agree which the moves I had to make to ensure SmackDown thrives. Look, Brock Lesnar has more than earned himself the right to main event WrestleMania 20. And you heard Eddie Guerrero tonight. He intends on facing my client for the WWE Championship.

Christopher Nowinski: Ah, but you are incorrect, for he has declared himself a contender for the WWE Championship which could be you.... or Kurt Angle.

Paul Heyman: Ha.

Heyman looks back towards Brock, who is still staring at the World's Greatest Tag Team. Benjamin looks back towards Heyman and Nowinski.

Shelton Benjamin: Yeah. Kurt Angle. The guy who made Brock Lesnar tap out.

The fans immediately begin chanting YOU TAPPED OUT! Lesnar's face shrinks as his anger grows.

Paul Heyman: You two would be wise to know your place here! And that is beneath us!

Charlie Haas: Who is "us"? Team Lesnar? Oh... wait a minute.

Lesnar gets up close to the World's Greatest, causing a small statue to wobble around on Nowinski's desk. Nowinski quickly springs to action to keep it balanced.

Christopher Nowinski: Ok gentlemen, enough of this tomfoolery! Mr. Heyman, I can see what you're driving at here but I cannot override the Board of Directors. And unfortunately Kurt Angle is promised a title shot at No Way Out.

Paul Heyman: Ah yes, he is.... but what if Kurt Angle... doesn't make it to No Way Out?

Christopher Nowinski: What's that now? I don't quite under---

Paul Heyman: No more needs to be said right now. Just think about it. I have a feeling we're going to be good friends, you and I.

Heyman jerks his head to the side to motion for Lesnar to leave. Brock continues staring at the World's Greatest before following Heyman out of the office.

Cole: This is ridiculous, Heyman is still trying his old tricks here! What if Kurt Angle doesn't make it to No Way Out?! What the hell does that mean, partner?

Tazz: Well we've seen how vile and vicious Paul Heyman can be, Cole. And after being embarrassed last week, you have to know Heyman is going to do everything he can to fight back against the powers that be. And taking out Vince's hand pick selection to take him on? What better "eff you" is there than that?

Cole: Sounds to me like Heyman is scared! Kurt Angle has more than earned himself a title shot! If Brock Lesnar is the most dominate champion in the WWE as Heyman says, why can't he defend it fairly at No Way Out?!

This brooding brawl between two former Team Lesnar members started out wild as Rhyno attacked The Big Show during his entrance, attempting to use the outside to his advantage to keep the big man at a handicap. Though Rhyno was able to keep things familiar to his territory as a former ECW World Champion, it didn't take long for Show to get right back into it. And having a 7'0", 500 lb man beating you to a pulp on the outside of the ring is not a good combination.

As things got back inside, Rhyno was softened up enough to where Show was able to put him away within a few minutes with a vicious Showstopper.

Winner: The Big Show @ 7:12 (70)

Cole: Well a big win for The Big Show, Tazz! And Show definitely wants to make up for lost time as he realized how much Paul Heyman was using him!

Tazz: Look I don't agree with Heyman's tactics, Cole, but come on! Show was the United States Champion under Team Lesnar! And Kurt Angle simply was the better man last week!

Cole: Kurt Angle sure was the better man last week! But we saw that The Big Show was only a pawn in the game of making sure Brock Lesnar stayed champion, partner. And The Big Show is intent on showing everyone that he never needed Lesnar or Heyman in the first place!

Curiously, Dawn Marie begins making her way down to the ring, fluffing her hair up as she smiles at her former colleague. Now seemingly being relieved of her assistant duties, Dawn gets onto the apron and blows a kiss towards Show. Show looks at Dawn with a perplexing look, not exactly interested in whatever Dawn is offering. Throwing his hands up in the air, Show starts questioning Dawn Marie as to what she is doing here. The two inaudibly chat. But after a short moment....

Cole: Look out!

As Marie chats with her old friend, Matt Morgan runs out down the stage and slides into the ring, immediately getting into Show's face. A short shoving match leads to the two large men brawling. But after a few short moments, referees and officials are out to break the two up.

Cole: Well Team Lesnar is definitely a broken commodity, partner!

Tazz: All these guys got something to prove and it seems to me they got most to prove to each other!

=============

Benoit and Guerrero know each other very well and this match showed. A back and forth classic that went on for nearly 20 minutes, this was a great match between two pure wrestlers. Despite the drama going into this match, no shenanigans got in the way of this one. This was just a match between two men who wanted to see who was better.

Benoit obviously had a lot to prove in this one and Eddie of course wanted to show why he was going to WrestleMania 20 the #1 Contender. At the climax, Guerrero got Benoit down and set up to where Eddie climbed to the top for a Frog Splash. But as Eddie came down, Benoit rolled out of the way. As Eddie flopped around, Benoit quickly locked in the Crippler Crossface. This being the third time in the match Eddie was in it, he again attempted to reach the ropes. But being in the middle of the ring, Eddie knew there was no way he was getting there again. Regretfully, Eddie has no choice but to tap out.

Winner: Chris Benoit @ 18:52 (80)

Cole: What a showdown between these two men, Tazz! Chris Benoit may feel like he's been left out, but he's proved today that he can hang at the top with the rest of them!

Tazz: Well we knew that already, Cole! Eddie's got a guaranteed WWE Championship match at WrestleMania and we just saw him tap out in the middle of the ring! Benoit wants to show the world that should have have been him, but fact of the matter is... it won't be. And that's just how it goes, Cole!

Following the match, Benoit celebrates in the ring as Eddie struggles to get to his feet. Noticing his friend crawling on the ground, Benoit simply watches as Eddie props himself on the ropes and slowly stands to his feet. Eddie and Benoit eye each other but Eddie remains to his promise to Kurt Angle as he hobbles towards Benoit and brings him in for an embrace out of respect. Benoit allows Eddie to hug him and very lazily pats Eddie's back, clearly not as emotionally invested as Eddie is.

A new theme for Chavo Guerrero blasts through the arena, signifying being broken from his uncle Eddie. Guerrero and Benoit immediately turn their heads towards to the stage. Eddie grits his teeth as he awaits his nephew to make his entrance, definitely having a score to settle with him.

Sure enough, Chavo does appear on the stage and showing some uncharacteristic bravery, begins marching down to the ring. Benoit stands aside as Eddie braces himself. Despite being battered after that grueling match with Benoit, adrenaline pumps through Eddie's veins for his chance to finally get redemption on Chavo for the disrespect he has shown.

Cole: Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Tazz: Who the hell?!

Cole: What's the meaning of this?! Eddie, turn around! Benoit, do something!

An unknown man has slid into the ring from behind. As Eddie continues to be distracted by his nephew, Chavo stops midway down the ramp and simply points at his head with a smile. Eddie immediately starts heading towards the ropes to climb outside, but is knocked right down as the brooding unknown man boots Guerrero in the back of the head. Eddie immediately drops to the ground as Benoit backs himself into a corner. As the man shoots a threatening glare towards Benoit, the Canadian Crippler shows himself out of the situation entirely by climbing out of the ring and slowly walking up the ramp, leaving his friend to fend for himself. The fans shower boos as the man lifts Eddie back to his feet. Placing Eddie onto his shoulders, the man drops Eddie with a neckbreaker from the position. Eddie lays spread eagled on the ground as Chavo gleefully watches from the stage.

Cole: I can't believe this! Who is this guy?! And what in the hell is Chris Benoit doing, Tazz?!

Tazz: Chris Benoit went ahead and showed himself out, Cole. And it looks like he wants nothing to do with saving his.... well, former friend from anything. And in the process, it looks like Chavo has a new friend. Look at the size of this dude!

Cole: Well this must be the guy who has been driving Chavo out of the arena, Tazz! And Eddie Guerrero is out cold. What an absolutely sick attack from whoever this guy is... and look at this display!

Cole: It's Angle! Kurt Angle is here!

Tazz: You better run, Chavo!

The fans erupt as Angle dashes down the ring. Chavo quickly runs to the ring and hides behind his hulking new friend to escape Angle's wrath and both men immediately exit as Angle slides in. Knowing Chavo is going to continue to run, Angle allows the pair to escape as he tends to the motionless Eddie. Chavo jumps on his new friend's shoulders, mocking Angle as they stand atop the stage.

Cole: Well thank God Kurt Angle was here to put an end to this vicious attack! But the damage has already been done! And partner, Chris Benoit has a lot to answer for in leaving Eddie Guerrero out to dry like that! For Tazz, goodnight from New Hampshire!

Quick Results:

(Pre-Show) The Basham Brothers def. Johnny Jeter & Joey Matthews

(Pre-Show) Ernest Miller def. Funaki

(Pre-Show) Orlando Jordan def. Nova

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: Kurt Angle def. A-Train

John Cena & Torrie Wilson def. Jamie Noble & Nidia

Rey Mysterio & Ultimo Dragon def. Kyo Dai

The Full Blooded Italians def. Bradshaw, Hardcore Holly & Scotty 2 Hotty

The Big Show def. Rhyno

Chris Benoit def. Eddie Guerrero

(OVR: 80)

Gouge · August 12, 2022

Hi!

I promise I'll do show previews and predictions for the next RAW. I really just wanted to get a couple of shows pounded out as soon as I could to try to get back into regularly doing this thing. No matter how busy life gets, I always want to come back to doing this diary as I greatly enjoy writing it.... as time consuming as my style is.

Thank you for the kind words Smasher and thank you so much for being such a loyal reader James.

Gouge · April 12, 2023

MONDAY NIGHT RAW||John E. Worthen Arena - Muncie, IN||11,145 fans

JR: We are live in front of 11,145 fans here at the John E. Worthen Arena in Muncie, Indiana! And King, I don't know about you, but I'm still in absolute shock over how we closed RAW last week in Long Island!

King: Waaaaaah! Eric Bischoff was laid out, JR! Right in the middle of the ring and we have no idea who did it.... well.... I really hope we don't!

JR: "No idea" is a bit of a stretch there, King! As much as you may hate to say it, you can't deny the presence of The Deadman has been felt here on RAW in the last few weeks!

King: Hey let's not forget poor Mr. McMahon, JR! That idiot Kane sent him right through a casket! But why?!

JR: King, I have no earthly idea what is going through the mind of the Big Red Machine. But if I ever figure it out, I think I'm in the wrong field! Regardless of the turmoil from last week, we're kicking RAW off with some action... Goldberg action, that is!

---

Rene Dupree stood ringside for this one, proudly waving that French flag to the chagrin to the Hoosiers in the audience. But his presence did very little to intimidate Goldberg from his prey in this contest... and that's exactly what Rob Conway was in this one. Goldberg came into this contest like an animal and gave the turncoat very little room to get any offense in whatsoever. As Goldberg hit his signature moves, Rene knew it was probably wise to keep his nose out of this one as he watched his buddy get pinned after a Spear in under two minutes.

Winner: Goldberg @ 1:57 (69)

---

JR: Well not much of a contest here as Goldberg quickly makes work of the wannabe Frenchman and by God, you have to wonder who is going to stop Goldberg as he begins a new "streak"!

King: Well you heard your buddy Stone Cold a couple of weeks ago, JR! Goldberg has no place on RAW anymore the next time he loses! And we're a long way from WrestleMania!

JR: Austin has certainly been pushing Goldberg's buttons as of late but let us not forget when Goldberg drove the Texas Rattlesnake's body right through a dressing room door!

Right on cue, the glass breaks and out comes Austin to a roaring crowd as Rene tends to a hurt Conway on ringside. Austin's ATV echos throughout the arena as Goldberg paces like a caged lion between the ropes. Always one to milk as much reaction as possible, Austin locks eyes with Goldberg four separate times for each turnbuckle post he poses on. Goldberg has huffed away a lot as of late, never sticking around much for interviews or thoughts. But Goldberg has an uncharacteristic patience as Austin rounds the ring and grabs a mic.

JR: Well we knew Austin would be out here at some point King! And if you've been paying attention to what Austin has been saying, I can assure you that he's far from impressed with what Goldberg just accomplished tonight!

King: Well heck, JR, who can blame him?! Beating that idiot tonight was hardly a challenge!

Austin takes a moment to stare Goldberg down before he speaks to the emotionless Goldberg.

Stone Cold: What? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?! WHAT?!

The fans shout along to Austin. Goldberg doesn't react whatsoever as Austin pulls the stick back up to his mouth.

Stone Cold: So ya' beat Rob Conway. What? Clean as a whistle, what? I said you just beat this silly fake Frenchman right in the middle of the ring? What? Do ya' think I'm impressed? Do you think ol' Stone Cold is ready to shake your hand? EH EH!

Goldberg scoffs and turns his back to Austin, heading towards the ropes.

Stone Cold: Hold on there just a minute ya' sumbitch. You know last week ol' Stone Cold was trying to give you some advice but some jackass in a helmet felt it fit to ruin my lecture... so let me just keep it brief here. I said let me give it to you straight. Since you made such quick work with ol' Rob Conway here....

Austin looks back towards Dupree and Conway on ringside. He then holds his watch up to his ear and looks back towards Goldberg with a sly smirk painted across his face.

Stone Cold: Seems to me we have time for another contest. I said you're going to have another match. And since you already took one french fry out of the equation, I bet you're fixin' to take out the other. And that match? Is right now!

King: Wah! Another match right now?!

JR: Knowing Goldberg like I do, King, I hardly sense an inconvenience!

---

Goldberg was unphased by Austin's challenge to take out La Resistance entirely tonight. Matter of fact, Dupree was much more in awe having no time to prepare for a match tonight.... let alone, one against Goldberg himself. Dupree attempts to start this one fast, rushing after Goldberg while he was still focused on Austin. Thought he gets a few clean shots in on the unstoppable force, Goldberg shakes off the strikes and turns full attention to Dupree. Much like his partner, Dupree is unmatched as Goldberg goes through Dupree like a rock through a paper sheet. After a Spear and Jackhammer, Goldberg picks up his second victory with ease.

Winner: Goldberg @ 2:06 (68)

---

As the Frenchmen are both laid out, Goldberg stares the Sheriff of RAW down, who is now on the stage watching. Austin simply shakes his head before disappearing through the curtain.

JR: Well Stone Cold is still sending messages out to Goldberg, King, but you have to wonder if he's getting the point yet? Goldberg could easily be a contender for the World Heavyweight Championship!

King: Hey, I can't blame Goldberg for holding back if that's what he's doing here! Who would want to mess with Evolution right now anyway?!

JR: Goldberg is not one to back away from a challenging fight, that's for sure! But if he wants to shoot himself into contendership anytime soon, I do hope he's listening to what Austin is trying to tell him!

---

Back live to the arena, we get a look at the Evolution locker room. Flair and Triple H are inaudibly talking in the corner while Stacy massages Batista's back in another corner. Orton is front and center with Jackie, a look of annoyance on his face over what he's been going through these last few weeks.

Jackie: Randy, you need to perk up.... stop thinking about Mick Foley and focus about what's great here.

Randy Orton: Foley?! You think I'm worried about Foley right now? I don't give two damns about that has been HACK and you shouldn't either. I'm the real hardcore legend. ME!

Certainly not wanting to get into an argument with Orton right now, Gayda submits and simply nods to what Orton is saying. Triple H and Flair, however, take notice to Orton's obvious frustration and get into shot.

Triple H: Hey Randy... how'd you like watching the show from that club you were at last week?

Randy Orton: I liked it just fine. I didn't have to worry about Mick Foley sticking his disgusting face in my business. I didn't have to worry about Test thinking I owe him some sort of favor. No, it was great. Silence from here amid the loudness of the party going on.

Triple H: Well I'm not sure if you have seem to forgotten this, Randy but.... you're part of Evolution. You're part of THIS. And quite frankly, I could give a crap about whatever is going on between you and Mick Foley. I retired Mick Foley four years ago. He is the least of OUR concern right now.

Ric Flair: Evolution.... is FOREVER, Randy. You and Batista over there were hand selected by us to represent the FUTURE of our business. You represent what Hunter was to me so long ago. And in time, you'll be the present when we're long gone. But you damn well better appreciate being part of this elite... and quit messing with the past!

Triple H: I went to the Royal Rumble and handled business, as did Ric and Batista. We finished Armageddon on top. There's no reason why we couldn't at the Royal Rumble too.

Randy Orton: Seriously!? You're gonna hold the Rumble against me? Look, great, congratulations on you guys retaining but winning the Royal Rumble is not exactly easy and when you have that no good COWARD come out and COST ME?!

Batista is heard chuckling in the background. He pops his head up from his massage and looks towards Randy with a smile.

Batista: You chose to poke that bear, Randy. And if you're going to go around poking bears, you best be ready to fight them.

Randy Orton: Hm, maybe next time I'm in trouble I'll be sure Jonathan freakin' Coachman comes out to the rescue. You're one to talk, Dave.

Triple H: Enough. We're not here to argue. We're a unit. The most unstoppable unit there is in this business. Period,, end of story. All we're saying is that it's time you start pulling your weight around here. You've had your reasons to be focused elsewhere. But that stops. Right now. I'm not going to accept you being absent from the group.

Randy Orton: You want me to pull my weight, eh? Tell you what, Hunter... I'll take care of your biggest problem right here tonight. I'll take on Shawn Michaels! And I'll beat him right in front of you tonight. And you can check off another legend that I kill while you're at it.

Ric Flair: Woooooooo! That's what I'm talking about right there, Randy! And you can count on me to be by your side while you do it!

Triple H: That's the spirit. And no matter what happens tonight... we are the ones on top. Always will be.

JR: Well we certainly aren't use to seeing tension among the ranks with Evolution but a rare showing of cracks here as stakes get higher during the road to WrestleMania! And I do, in fact, have confirmation that Mick Foley is here in Indiana tonight!

King: What?! Why can't he just stay away, JR? Mick Foley is retired!

JR: He sure is retired! But you know just as much as I do that no legend in this business like Mick Foley is going to let someone like Randy Orton get away with the filth he's been saying! And By God, King! What a main event that sets up for us here tonight. Randy Orton has just challenged the Heartbreak Kid himself and you know Shawn Michaels cannot wait to get his hands on another member of Evolution here tonight!

King: Well I sure hope Shawn Michaels enjoys taking on someone who isn't Triple H in a match that isn't for the World Heavyweight Championship.... because he won't be doing that ever again!

JR: Well regardless of that, HBK still has a score to settle with Evolution and that is one threat to those four men that I can promise you is never backing down!

We cut to the office of Eric Bischoff, who is still recovering from the attack last week as he has a stiffness in his posture. Bobbi, his secretary, is seen fumbling around with random paperwork at the desk while Christian and Chris Jericho stand by Bischoff, who seems to have been expecting them.

Eric Bischoff: Gentlemen, I think it's safe to say that you two have not been getting along the best these last weeks, right?

Chris Jericho: I guess you could say that but---

Christian: What the heck do you mean?! No way, Eric! Chris is my best friend! We're Vitamin C, bay-bay!

Christian leaps in the air with an air guitar, which Jericho - off synch - sloppily follows with. Bischoff scoffs impatiently.

Eric Bischoff: Ok I.... you know what, who cares? Save it for someone who does, I didn't bring you guys in here for friendship counseling anyhow. I brought you in here for an.... interesting team-building exercise.

Chris Jericho: Sounds like a pretty lame waste of time to me. Team building!? We're trying to make a name for ourselves here. Give us something to do in the ring!

Christian: Wait a minute, Chris. This could.... be interesting! Maybe it'll even be fun! I'm in!

Eric Bischoff: Well I'm glad you're "in", Christian, but I don't believe I ever said you had a choice. I am enlisting you guys to help me... find some information. And that information is absolutely vital to the success of Monday Night RAW. Which, of course, means I can help ensure you guys get a much needed cut of that success, see?

Chris Jericho: I don't think----

Christian: Sounds great! Let's hear it!

Eric Bischoff: As you saw last week, we have a problem. We have a mischief maker who is making everyone think that The Undertaker is somehow, someway back from the dead. Paul Bearer, who has no contract or place here on Monday Night RAW, now feels he's allowed to roam my arenas whenever he pleases. And Kane? Who knows what the hell has gotten into him but chokeslamming my boss through a casket is not an action I appreciate or tolerate!

Chris Jericho: Hmmm.... sounds like a job for a General Manager, doesn't it?!

Eric Bischoff: I suggest you cut your negativity out right now, Chris. As you can probably see from my condition, I can barely walk! And that's thanks to some trickster putting his hands on me! I'm counting on you guys to dig into this and find out what the hell is going on around here before anyone else gets hurt. It's bad enough that Mr. McMahon was put on the injured list on my show. And that's an ass-chewing I'm never going to be prepared for as it is. I'm enlisting you two for this.... because I trust that you can help me.

Christian: You hear that, Chris? A mystery! And Eric Bischoff is trusting us to investigate? No need to worry, Eric. We'll take it from here!

Chris Jericho: Wait a minute here Bischoff, you expect us to go around with a couple of oversized magnifying glasses in search of THE UNDERTAKER?! What kind of jackasses do you take us for? And what happens if we find him, what are we gonna do? Hogtie him?!

Eric Bischoff: Undertaker is NO MORE, Jericho! This is clearly.... this is some sick, deranged individual who is enjoying playing with the minds of Kane, myself and the rest of the roster. And when we expose who he or she is, they better be praying the the Undertaker comes back to rescue them because that's the only way they're getting out of this! You guys have nothing to worry about if you stick together.

Christian: I don't know about you, Chris, but I welcome the adventure! Let's go find this son of a bitch and introduce a little Vitamin C into their life!

Christian happily scurries off, Jericho hesitantly following behind while shaking his head. Bischoff unsurely nods before turning his attention back to Bobbi and his desk. Back to ringside.

King: Wah! What the hell is Bischoff thinking here, JR?!

JR: I don't have any earthly idea, King. But you know with that smug, smarmy smile that he's hoping if anything does happen tonight, it'll be to Christian and Jericho instead of himself! I know this, King, and that's the it's undeniable that we've felt The Undertaker's presence.

---

Prior to this contest, Val Venis did his best to make sure that Matt Hardy's new girlfriend, Gail Kim, was made as uncomfortable as possible. Licking his lips and with a big smile on his face, Venis flirted with the Korean beauty the best way he knew how. Hardy took exception to this and began to brawl with Venis outside to start this matchup.

Once inside, this match stayed close between two hungry, experienced midcarders desperately trying to rise up the ranks. At one point, Venis took control and began to hit a roll. Knocking Hardy flat on his back, Venis sensed it was time to end things as he rose to the top rope. But Gail Kim, already irritated at Venis for hitting on her earlier, jumps up on the apron to distract the Canadian sex king. Though she avoids getting Hardy getting disqualified by not touching Venis in anyway, Val's attention being diverted is enough for Matt to jump into the ropes and knock Val right into his money maker. As Val stumbles back up, Matt hits the Twist of Fate to end this one.

Winner: Matt Hardy @ 6:07 (62)

---

King: I can't believe Val thought he could steal Gail away from Matt like that! Val might be quite the smooth talker, but he sure doesn't possess, well... Mattitude!

JR: I'll say this, King... Gail Kim and Matt Hardy could very well prove to be a dangerous couple and perhaps the spark that both these individuals needed to boost their careers!

The arena explodes in joy from seeing the cameras cut to Shawn Michaels for the first time tonight, who is warming up in his locker room after being given a main event match against Randy Orton on such short notice. Despite not being prepared, Michaels is still eager as ever to step into that right tonight.

Mick Foley surprisingly shows up on screen, causing the cheers to get even louder. The two men exchange greetings that are inaudible, muffled from the crowd as they shake hands with a smile.

Mick Foley: Wish it were me tonight, Shawn. Boy what I'd do to get a match against that no good jackass.... you have no idea how much I regret turning that match down back in December.

Shawn Michaels: Y'know, Mick.... back in 1998 I thought I would never lace up these boots ever again. And the amount of times I showed up, I would get this.... this irresistible sensation that I had to go back out there. I would see Triple H doing what he does best to the locker room back then. And knowing Hunter like I do, I also knew that I could stop him. Or at the very least, I could give the boys the tools to stop him. But the time just.... wasn't quite right. But I did eventually come back. And even though it took time, I did eventually get to square up against my former best friend. And to this day, I will continue to fight against everything Triple H stands for. I use to BE that guy. But sitting at home.... I was ashamed of myself. I was selfish, I was rude, I was brash, I was vulgar. I broke the rules, I didn't appreciate our fans, I didn't respect the legends that got me to where I was. But that little bit of time was all I needed to come back better than ever.

Mick nods his head as he carefully listens to every word HBK says to him.

Shawn Michaels: Mick, only you can say when the time is right. The time wasn't then. Heck.... it might not even be right now, for all we know! But just know this... Randy Orton WILL meet you in that ring one day. And he's going to regret ever waking you from your slumber. I can guarantee you that.

Mick Foley: Well gee, Shawn, I'm not really sure how to even react to those kind words.... nevermind the fact that I'm not exactly use to you being kind to me whatsoever! But hey, past is the past for both of us. But no, I appreciate that very much. And while I get what you're saying about making sure the time is right.... the time IS right. Right now. And somehow, someway, by God, I'm going to stick this unbelievably stinky, smelly, crusty, disgusting sock right down Randy Orton's pie hole!

With a smile across his face and his hands on his hips, HBK lets out a chuckle to Foley's enthusiasm. He pats Foley on the shoulder with his right hand.

Shawn Michaels: Well I do believe I speak for everyone when I say that I can't wait to see that! But Mick.... do me a favor, will you? Stick to the locker room tonight. I know you're eager to get your licks on Orton but I need to teach him a lesson tonight.... alone.

With a parting smile, HBK nods and walks off. Foley can't hide the look of disappointment on his face to HBK's request as he looks to the floor. Back to ringside.

King: I'm not one to agree with Shawn Michaels very often, JR... but he's right about this one! Mick Foley better keep his nose out of this main event!

JR: Well quite frankly, Foley is not someone I'm worried about seeing out there. You can be sure that the usual Evolution "tactics" will be at play here tonight... especially with the rest of them not competing on the show.

King: Come on, JR! Did you not see Foley go out of his way to cost Randy Orton that Royal Rumble match?!

JR: Damn right I did, King! And considering you were in the showers, I'd wager I got a better seat of that than you could ever hope! And let's just say Orton is lucky that is all that has affected him so far because knowing Mick Foley like we both do, he is not going to settle until he gets his hands on Orton in a match.

---

Back from commercial, we cut to Booker T who is curiously standing by a concession stand. Licking his lips, he looks at the menu and then back to the young man behind the counter.

Booker T: Hey dawg, let me get one of them footlongs....

Worker: That it?

Booker T: No dawg, that ain't it! Get me one of those big bad Bavarian pretzels.... and some nachos, dawg. And a laaaaaarge Pepsi!

The grossly underpaid worker gets going on Booker's large order while the 5-time WCW Champion fishes around for his wallet in his dress pants, clearly not dressed to compete today. The worker hands Booker a receipt as he gets his tray ready.

RVD appears behind Booker, seemingly waiting in line. As Booker T starts flipping through his cash, RVD holds his hand up at the worker.

RVD: Hold on just a minute there, dude. I got you!

RVD hands the worker some cash. The kid nods and hands the tray off to Booker, who looks up to RVD... at first perplexed but a smile grows on his face.

Booker T: Haha, hey dawg! I appreciate that! You want in on any of this? Man this is gonna be good!

RVD: Oh sure, let me see here....

RVD takes Booker's tray and pretends to think about what to snack on before promptly throwing the entire tray in the trash. Booker's smile immediately turns to anger.

Booker T: Hey just what the hell do you think you are doing here, dawg?! That was my food!

Booker helplessly looks in the trash to see if any of it is salvageable as RVD crosses his arms with a stern look towards his new found friend.

RVD: What am I doing?! What are YOU doing, dude? Pretzels? Nachos? HOT DOG? You can't eat this crap, Booker! Evolution still seems to think they're running things around here and it's going to be up to us to stop them!

Booker T: Up to us?! Sure dawg, when we're on the card and not LOSING to them, I'll holla back at you. But while we're booked to be sitting on our hineys, I'm fixin' to eat some chow! And you just ruined that, dawg!

RVD: Well nobody said taking these guys on would be easy, Book. Triple H himself is powerhouse of a performer and his manipulation skills.... unmatched. But put the three lapdogs he has by his side and you got quite the unstoppable force! Booker, we're not going to take these guys out in a day. It's going to take time. But there's a reason I wanted you by side.

Booker T: Yeah I guess. I can't stand having those guys run RAW anymore than you do... but I ain't about to be chasing dreams, homie. WrestleMania is just around the corner and if you're serious about wanting us to be a tag team then we need to start winning. Bischoff ain't about to hand us a title shot and that's fo' sho.

RVD: You're absolutely right, dude! We do need to win. But we also should not give up. Let's look at the bigger picture tonight. Shawn Michaels gets a chance to knock Randy Orton off. And you know just as much as me that Evolution are going to show up in that main event match tonight.

Booker T: You're right. Man I had Triple H.... damn Batista.

RVD: And I had Orton right where I wanted him too before Ric Flair changed everything. But you know what? Maybe it's up to us to make sure Shawn Michaels and Randy Orton have a fair fight. Maybe there's a reason neither of us were scheduled to compete tonight... so we could stay fresh to stop Evolution from doing their usual tactics.

Booker T: Alright, dawg. I hear you. And I'll cut the snacks, homie but shoot, at least let me get a damn Pepsi or something. Sheesh.

RVD: Go for it, Book. You earned that Pepsi. I'll see you later.

RVD walks off and Booker turns back towards the concession stand. A short interaction and much easier order leads to Booker getting a fresh soda in his hands within seconds. As he turns around, he has another visitor.

Theodore Long: Mm, mm, mm. I sure do wonder, Booker, when the black man will be respected here in the WWE. Don't you?

Booker T: Man I already told you I ain't down with that, Theo.

Theodore Long: Down with what, "dawg"? Let me holla this at you, playa. What's your role in all of this, hm? You were screwed out of that World's Heavyweight Championship, agree?

Booker T: You damn skippy I was, hippy. Twice, even, sucka!

Theodore Long: Right. I saw all of that go down, Booker. And what exactly is the resolution to all of this? You go out there tonight and make sure Shawn Michaels gets even more spotlight? And you? What do you get out of all this? A warm smile and a pat on the back for helping the white man? Wake up, Booker.

Booker T: I ain't playing this game with you right now, Teddy! You think you know what's best for me? Sucka, you can't even manage the fools you got under your tutelage now, dawg!

Theodore Long: Well I'll tell you this, Booker, your quote-on-quote friend did get something right in explaining to you that a revolution sure doesn't resolve itself in a day. And playa, this fight is far from over. With or without you. That I can promise you. But I'm just here to remind you, Booker, that I do have your best interests in mind. And only yours. Just keep me in mind. Excuse me.

Long straightens out the collar of his suit as he walks off, still keeping a swagger in his step. Booker's face scrunches as he loudly slurps on his soda, watching Long disappear around the corner.

Before JR and King could offer any commentary on Booker T's dilemma, cameras swiftly cut to a confident looking pair of Tough Enough 3 winners - Matt Cappotelli and John Hennigan - who are coming off a huge upset in beating La Resistance last week and earning themselves RAW contracts. Al Snow and Tommy Dreamer stand by the team and it seems we're already mid conversation.

Matt Cappotelli: I really appreciate you looking out for us like this, Al, but didn't you see us last week? We beat former tag team champions!

Al Snow: Don't get in over your head, fellas. There's a reason you guys won the show and an even bigger reason you guys are already here on RAW. But even Maven still needs me by his side these days. There's a lot of resentment in the locker room over you two being here.

Tommy Dreamer: Damn right there is, kids. It took me 11 years of blood and tears to make it to the WWE. You guys earned a hot shot to the big leagues. And I respect ya' both for it, but there's a lot of guys like me who want to beat the crap out of you!

John Hennigan: Well bring them on! That's what we're here for, right?

Al Snow: No. What did I tell you about your first day entering a RAW locker room?

Matt Cappotelli: Look everyone in the eye and shake their hand, speak only when spoken to.

Al Snow: Ding, ding! There's a little something called paying your dues. And while I'm so proud of you both for your big win last week, you both still have a lot of learning to do.

Test walks into frame, loudly talking over Snow as he continues to attempt to guide the two rookies.

Test: Hey can you guys make up your minds on what theme we're going for on this side of the hallway? What, we got reality show losers on one side and the hardcore has-beens on the other? Oh hey! How's it going Dreamer? You enjoy that beating I gave you last week?

Tommy Dreamer: Sure. I don't mind a fight regardless of the result. But you know what my favorite part of that match last week was? Watching Mick Foley paint the ring with you after you were done with me!

Test immediately shoves Dreamer, who shoves Test right back. Snow begins shouting and gets between the two men.

Al Snow: Whoa, hey! None of that crap right here, gentlemen!

Test: You got something to say to me, Mr. Trainer? Why don't you stay out of this and teach those two leeches how to run the ropes.

Matt Cappotelli: What did you just say to us?!

Test: You heard what I said, pipsqueak. You really want me to roll out the red carpet for you and your buddy over there? Tell you what, why don't you meet me in the ring for a match right about now?

Al Snow: We are NOT doing that ri---

Matt Cappotelli: You're on! And I'll show you exactly what happens when you count us out.

Test: Heh. Can't wait to kick your head off. See you soon, punk.

With a cocky smile, Test walks off towards the stage while Dreamer, Snow and Hennigan look at Cappotelli in disbelief.

Tommy Dreamer: Kid... did you not see what Test did to me last week?

Al Snow: What in the world are you thinking, Matt?! A tag team match where you guys can work together is one thing.... a singles match against Test? Are you out of your mind?

John Hennigan: Matt, dude... damn, that took guts. But I'm with you, pal.

Hennigan firmly slaps Matt's back as he doesn't respond to his ridicule, simply exhaling heavily and nodding his head, seemingly attempting to convince himself that everything is going to work out from this.

King: Oh man, what the heck is that idiot thinking, JR? Test is going to mop the floor with that kid!

JR: These two young men had an incredible debut last week, but boy I think Matt Cappotelli just bit off a little bit more than he could chew here, folks!

---

Test is a loud mouth jerk and as of late, he has definitely been put in his place when it comes to matches against superior opponents. But one must remember that Test is still a large, strong, talented man who is no easy feat for anyone to put down for the count. Matt Cappotelli wanted to do what he thought was right by standing up to Test in front of his mentor and his partner. But unfortunately this was one fight that Matt should have never, ever picked.

The big man tossed Matt around like he was a crash test dummy. Cappotelli didn't stand a chance. Any shot against Test went unaffected. After being tossed around for only a couple of minutes, which probably felt like an eternity to Matt, Test put him away for good with a big boot that nearly took his head off.

Winner: Test @ 2:53 (44)

---

JR: Well you certainly have to respect that young man's guts to stand up to Test like that, but guts won't always reward you kindly. But come on now! What in the hell is this proving?!

Test is not done and after being embarrassed by Mick Foley last week, he's eager to make his own mark tonight by manhandling the rookies. As Matt lays motionless after a post match Pumphandle Slam, Hennigan hits the ring to attempt to help his pal. But he is met with a similar fate that ended the match, a big boot to his noggin. Test continues his onslaught on the two young rookies, stopping to jaw with the fans who are showering him with boos.

Not before long, Al Snow and the original Tough Enough winner - Maven - sprint down to the ring begin brawling with Test. Though Test is able to hold his own against the two, numbers game puts Test in a vulnerable position to be dropkicked out of the ring by Maven. Snow and Maven guard the ring as Test grits his teeth in frustration on the outside. Though he teases going back in for me, he smirks and shakes his head "no", turning back while raising his arms high in the air. Snow and Maven tend to the bodies in the ring as officials act fast to clean this mess up.

King: Look, JR! It's Maven! Maybe that should remind everyone just where Tough Enough gets you, haha!

JR: Well that aside, King, Maven is showing loyalty to his mentor and trainer Al Snow while also choosing to help his two latest co-winners in Cappotelli and Hennigan. But the damage to these two men both physically and to their egos has already been done! And this ring looks like a trainwreck has gone through it!

We cut to the back where Molly Holly stands next to Terri for what we can only imagine is a backstage interview. Molly stands with a look of irritation.

Terri Runnels: JR, King, I'm back here with one of the four ladies set to compete in a mini-tournament to crown the #1 Contender for who will take on Lita at WrestleMania 20! We already saw Trish Stratus best Gail Kim, and now it comes down to a match between Molly and Victoria. Molly, as the former champion,, how do you feel going into this match tonight?

Molly Holly: Oh well let's see here.... I feel.... cheated. I feel wronged. I feel BETRAYED! Eric Bischoff, you PROMISSSSSSSED MEEEEEE! Do you hear me, Eric? I lost MY Women's Championship at Royal Rumble and I wasn't even PINNED! Lita got LUCKY! It should be ME at WrestleMania 20! A tournament?! What did TRISH do to even deserve contendership, Terri? Whore around with Chris Jericho?

Terri Runnels: Well uh... I think they're just friends, Molly.

Molly Holly: Oh sure! Just friends. I bet. You know, Terri.... I respect you, you know that?

Terri Runnels: Really? Well, thanks I guess. Why is that?

Molly Holly: Because after spending so many years whoring around on television, you knew when it was time to step aside and let real, natural women such as myself get it done in the ring. And it seems to me that we still have a long way to go with some of these other.... ladies. But me being screwed aside, I---

Lita steps onto the screen, causing Molly's interview to come to a screeching halt. Molly immediately glares Lita in the eyes, scowling at the woman who took the championship from her at the Royal Rumble. Lita keeps a smirk across her face, but has a noticeable black eye from her being knocked out last week.

Lita: You know, Molly, I really do have to wish you luck out there. Because as much as you run your mouth about how "lucky" I got, I would love to show you why I'm the Women's Champion.

Molly Holly: Enjoy it while it lasts, Lita! It must feel great.

Lita: Yeah, you know what? It does. It does feel great. And no matter who wins this tournament, I plan on defending my championship at WrestleMania 20 and beyond. I don't need a man to help me with that. I don't need "favors" to help me with that. Whatever fantasy world you live in where you think you're the only one who works to get where you're at? Is just that. Fantasy. When I go out there and sign autographs to little girls who look up to me and tell me that they want to be just like me when I grow up, that's what I work for.

Molly Holly: Hm. Well I fear for those little girls. And I sure hope their moms are a lot better at making them PULL THEIR PANTS UP once in awhile!

Molly reaches for Lita's low riding pants, gripping them by the sides and attempting to pull them up. Lita, totally baffled that Molly is even touching her like this, starts to bat her away. Terri shouts at the ladies to break it up before a masculine voice yells towards them.

Matt Hardy: Back the hell off right now, Molly!

Molly stops dead in her tracks and runs away, acting terrified as Matt walks into the shot. Lita looks even more befuddled at Matt inviting himself to this derailed interview segment.

Lita: So you'll hit me but won't hit someone attacking me, huh?

Matt Hardy: Come on, Lita! You know damn well that was an accident! But that's exactly why I've been looking for you. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, am sorry for what happened. I did not mean to hurt you at all! Everything just happened so fast and when I saw you on the ground I just.... I'm sorry Lita. I'm very, very sorry.

Lita: Matt, if you're truly sorry, then how about doing what I've asked you to do for so long? Leave me the hell alone.

Lita begins to frown from emotion and walks off shaking her head. Matt looks to the ground in sorrow as we cut back to ringside for the upcoming match.

---

This was a match between two very determined ladies. Victoria and Stevie Richards got the idea in their head that becoming Women's Champion could launch them into joining Evolution and advancing their careers. Molly Holly, on the other hand, is dead set on getting that rematch with Lita. Both women have proven to be two of the most talented and dominate female talents on the roster. And this was a hotly competitive match due to that.

Despite it's competitive and evenly matched nature, Stevie Richards still felt it necessary to involve himself by constantly attempting to distract Molly. Molly paid very little mind to Stevie however and knew a disqualification would only benefit her if he pushed it any harder. After about a minute, the referee had enough and sent Richards back to the showers, leaving his "flower" to fend for herself. After a short battle, Molly would get the upper hand and eventually put Victoria away once and for all with a Molly-Go-Round.

Winner: Molly Holly @ 6:15 (49)

---

Back from commercial, Jonathan Coachman - who has just recently been "relieved" of whatever duty he had here RAW - whistles gleefully down the back corridors of the arena. Coach may have it rough with Eric Bischoff right now, but Coach is still happy as ever having found new found friends with the young duo of Cade and Jindrak, as well as having way too much fun messing with the Dudley Boyz.

Sure enough, the Dudley Boyz themselves block Coach's path, standing directly in the way with their arms crossed and faces snarled. Coach can't help but chuckle despite the attempt at intimidation.

Jonathan Coachman: Well, well, well! Fellas! I was wondering when you'd decide to try to mess with my night! Too bad for you.... you can't touch me!

Coach holds up the restraining order. Bubba and D-Von both let out a chuckle.

Bubba Ray Dudley: You can take that paper and shove it up your ass for all I care, Coach! We don't need to "touch" you tonight. We just wanted to run an idea by you.... you know, we got a match coming up, don't we D-Von?

D-Von Dudley: That's right, we do. Against Coach's little buddies no less, Cade and Jindrak.

Jonathan Coachman: Yes, that's absolutely correct. Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak. And from what I heard, they can't wait to help you guys continue something you're very good at lately... losing! Haha!

Bubba Ray Dudley: Well I got a little bit of news for you, Coach. Since I assume Eric Bischoff doesn't want much to do with you anymore.... D-Von and I took it upon ourselves to ask if we could add a little stipulation to this match. And that little idea I got for you? How about seeing your pals Cade and Jindrak EAT WOOD?

D-Von Dudley: This match is about to be a tables match! Oh my brother, TESTIFY!

D-Von and Bubba fist bump before heading out for this contest coming up soon.

King: A tables match?! Bischoff actually okayed that? That seems a little unfair, JR!

JR: A tables match certainly is the Dudley Boyz specialty, but if you recall they did lose the last tables match they had thanks to Coachman himself! Despite that fact, I'm sure Bubba and D-Von are eager to put this young tag team that's been a thorn in their side through some wood tonight!

Cameras cut back to another area of the arena where we're able to finally catch up with Jericho and Christian. Christian is taking this job a little too seriously, now donning a Sherlock Holmes-esque hat, a pen and a notebook. The men look to be searching around a storage area, dock doors and fencing surrounding them. Jericho lets out a sigh while Christian peers through the holes of the fenced off, locked up area.

Chris Jericho: What the hell are we even doing here?! This is a waste of time. We've been searching around for an hour now. What did you write down so far in that little book anyway?

Christian: "A dark cloaked figure, tall, tattooed, a menacing scowl. May or may not be wearing a cowboy hat. Name: The Undertaker. Alias: The Phenom. Likes: Being in "his yard", riding motorcycles in a past life, digging himself out of holes."

Chris Jericho: ....we're not getting anywhere, are we?

A rustling is heard on the other side of the room followed by the sound of a door opening. Both Jericho and Christian jump up in fear before looking towards the commotion.

Christian: A clue! You hear that? A door opening! That must mean... an intruder! Hide!

Christian quickly scurries towards some crates and throws himself into one. Jericho, not taking this nearly as seriously as Christian, simply investigates.

Curiously, it seems Trish Stratus was the culprit as she walks in with a look of puzzlement on her face.

Trish Stratus: I was told you were snooping around in here.... Bischoff really has you guys looped into this thing huh?

Chris Jericho: Seems like it! Man, you barging in here has probably been the most exciting thing to happen all night.

The crate that Christian is in begins to wobble around in the background. Trish and Jericho both look look at the crate with a look of confusion before looking back at each other.

Trish Stratus: Well... I don't have a match tonight. And Molly and Victoria are keeping their crazy levels directed away from me for once. So do you need help?

Chris Jericho: That would be awesome, Trish! Actually.... why don't we jut get out of here and look somewhere else?

The crate Christian is in wobbles a little bit more before falling completely over. Christian falls out and scrambles back to his feet.

Christian: Wait just a minute here! Eric Bischoff trusted us! And you're about to bail on me yet again for Trish?!

Trish Stratus: On second thought, maybe I should find something else to do---

Chris Jericho: Christian, shut the hell up! We're getting nowhere here. If Trish wants to help us, that only helps Eric get the results he wants faster. So let's make like Scooby Doo and split up.

Christian: This is ridiculous, Chris! This was about team building!

Trish Stratus: Okay boys....

Chris Jericho: Will you please just shut the hell up?! We're still working together, we just have help!

Christian: This isn't help, this is a distraction!

Trish Stratus: Enough! I'm so done with you two always fighting when I'm around. I don't know why I even bother---

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**POP*

The electrical box in the corner swings open and begins to fry, sparking out purple sparks that illuminate the now dark storage room. Christian, Trish and Jericho all shriek in panic, no longer being able to see the hands in front of their face.

Christian: I'm getting out of here!

Christian's declaration is the only audible sentence we can make out of the panicked yelling of the trio. Crashing, clanging and banging is heard as the three seemingly are trying to escape the room, but it's still so dark that the camera can pick up none of it. A door is heard opening, in which we can hear Christian breath a sigh of relief before the door shuts.

Chris Jericho: Christian! Did you find the exit? Are you still here?

Nothing. We can only assume Christian has indeed escaped.

Chris Jericho: Trish... I feel like every week I'm saying I'm sorry for something new and I know that's kinda pathetic but.... I really am sorry. You're right. Every time you go out of your way to come find me it always starts a stupid argument. And it shouldn't be that way. I love being around you, I, I..... I crave it, I look forward to it every week. And I need to stop worrying about what other people think about how I feel about you. But now that I'm with you here alone.... in the dark.... something horribly scary surely about to happen to us.... I just want you to know.... I really care about you. And.... you're holding my hand right now aren't you? It feels so good. It makes me feel proud that I can keep you safe in here. And I promise you.... nothing bad is going to happen to you in here, I promise it!

The lights flick back on suddenly where Chris Jericho is standing in the middle of the room holding the hand of Paul Bearer, who is blushing.

ch Chris! I had no idea you felt that way! Hahahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jericho snags his hand away in panic as Bearer lets out his over-the-top evil laugh. Jericho reaches into the back of his tights and pulls out a black bag, throwing it over Bearer's head.

Paul Bearer: Oh! What is this? HELP! HELP ME!

Chris Jericho: Alright JACKASS! You're coming with me! Christian! Christian where are you?!

As Bearer hoplessly attempts to struggle, Jericho guides him out of the dingy storage room as we cut back to ringside.

King: Wah! There's that sicko Paul Bearer, JR! But if he's here..... where is Kane or The Undertaker?

JR: Kane has not been seen by anyone since his actions last week, King. But knowing Paul Bearer like I do, he is not someone to put himself in harm's way without a plan. And something tells me that Chris Jericho and Christian aren't going to have the answers they want so easy!

---

With the frustration that Jonathan Coachman has been given the Dudley Boyz as of late, they were eager to jump right into this one and teach his buddies a lesson. Matter of fact, this one got started right away as the residents of Dudleyville would jump Cade & Jindrak during their entrance, brawling all around the ringside area.

Though Cade & Jindrak have been impressive as of late, they were out of their element in this one. The hardcore nature of this match favored the Dudley Boyz and the blue chippers didn't stand much of a chance. Furthermore, Coachman was nowhere to be seen in this one and despite the restraining order, was in no rush to put himself anywhere close to a hardcore environment.

After setting a table up inside the ring to put Cade through it, Jindrak was able to stop the brothers and got some offense in for a short while. The numbers game caught up with him though and with Cade already out of the equation, it wasn't long before Jindrak was sent crashing through a table with a 3-D.

Winners: The Dudley Boyz @ 6:38 (61)

---

Back from commercial, Theodore Long and Jazz are already in the ring.

Theodore Long: Holla, holla, holla, ya'll! If you can excuse me for just a moment, I have a few things that I need to get off my chest. Y'see, the women's division here in the WWE has been getting mighty competitive. And as a man who is all about equal rights, I can get down with that! The ladies of the WWE deserve to get the recognition they have earned. Except.... that isn't at all what is happening here, you feel me? Let us look at this women's "tournament" that Eric Bischoff started to crown a new #1 Contender. Fine and dandy on paper... except I notice a serious lack... of black talent in that pool. Now the fact that this comes right after Eric Bischoff attempted to humiliate me in his office.... replace Coach and I as consultants with a white bread, barbie look-a-like to put at his desk... something seems mighty funny here, don't it?

JR: Give me a break here.

King: Well.... he's not wrong, JR!

JR: The ladies in that tournament earned their place in it. Jazz IS a talented young lady. But she has not been winning matches, King. And if you want to make a name for yourself in this company, that is exactly how you do it!

Before Theodore Long can get another word in, Jacqueline's theme hits the PA and out comes RAW's most experienced Diva, who happens to also be an African American talent. Theodore Long can't help but smile as Jackie walks down to the ring with her usual sass, but she doesn't look too impressed with the pair speaking.

Theodore Long: Well, well! Ms. Jacqueline Moore. It certainly is a pleasure to have you out here to assist me in addressing this crucial matter, sister.

Jacqueline: I ain't your "sista", Teddy. Let's get that straight first! And you....

Jacqueline gets right in Jazz's face, pointing her finger right at her. Jazz scowls at Jackie, ready to attack.

Jacqueline: Far as I can see, you haven't earned SQUAT! I've been in this business almost 15 years and let me tell you right now, every accomplishment I've ever earned has been through hard work and sucking it up! So "sister", how about you join me.... to the back of the damn line so I can slap your silly ass head off your shoulders!

Jazz responds by firmly slapping Jackie in the face and tackling her to the ground. Though Jackie is experienced, Jazz has proven to be the WWE's strongest diva and keeps Jackie flat on the ground as she pounds her with strikes.

After a few moments, Trish Stratus appears running down to the ring, seemingly safe from whatever happened in the back involving Christian and Jericho. Trish slides in and attempts to save Jackie from the onslaught, having no issue going after one of her fiercest rivals.

JR: By God, it's Trish Stratus and I think she has revenge on her mind for Jazz's bullying ways, King!

King: Oh please be careful out there Trish!

Jazz saw Trish coming, however, and began brawling with her right away. Trish still nevertheless gets the upper hand and begins clubbing Jazz back with forearm strikes. Trish slaps her thigh to call or it and throws her leg up for a Trish Kick... but Theodore Long steps in by grabbing her by the ankle to stop the attack. Trish trips and falls to the ground, allowing Jazz to lock in the Bitch Clamp. Jackie has recovered by now, but Jazz lets Trish go and rolls out before the brawl can continue any longer.

JR: Well that little slimeball Theodore Long couldn't keep his hands to himself there and Jazz gets yet another cheap shot on Trish Stratus! But that doesn't change the fact that Trish will still have an opportunity to be #1 Contender and Jazz absolutely will not!

We cut to the back hallways where Paul Bearer, now with his arms ziptied, is sitting in a chair with Jericho and Christian standing on opposite sides of him. Bearer is still wiggling about to no avail.

Paul Bearer: Unhand me!

Christian: We will unhand you.... IF! And only IF you respond to our questions

Christian, still wearing his goofy outfit, fishes that notebook out from his pocket and begins to look through, glancing at Bearer through every page he turns.

Christian: At the Royal Rumble.... Vince McMahon was defeated by Ernest Miller when the lights turned out and out boss was laid out cold in the fracas. But... where were YOU at this time, Mr. Bearer?

Paul Bearer: Oh ho ho.... why I was doing what everyone else was doing! Watching.... because I knew..... my happy boy was finally going to get his revenge OH YESSSSS!

Chris Jericho: Enough with the riddles jackass! You're saying the Undertaker ACTUALLY attacked Mr. McMahon?

Paul Bearer: Well I don't know anyone else who can turn an entire venue black as night in the blink of an eye... and strike lightning upon his non believers!

Christian: Paul Bearer, where is he? Where is The Undertaker?!

Paul Bearer: He is everywhere! And if you don't untie me and get this bag off my head.... ohhhhh yes, my Undertaker is going to be very, very upset at you!

Christian: Yeah? Is he going to be upset if I do this?!

Christian kicks the chair Bearer is on, causing it to slide. Bearer's legs kick out in surprise, but doesn't fall over. Christian kicks it again.

Paul Bearer: I wouldn't do that if I were youuuuu!

Christian: How about if I do this?

Christian starts lightly slapping Bearer across the face, causing him to squirm even more.

Paul Bearer: Ouch! Now, now my boys.... is there a reason for this violence?

Chris Jericho: Start telling it to us straight! We don't have all night! If Undertaker is really "everywhere", where is he RIGHT NOW?

Paul Bearer: I can't give a straight answer to that, my boy. For even I don't know.

Christian: Alright tubby, I've about had enough of this.

Christian finally kicks the chair over, Bearer's head hitting the concrete on the floor. Bearer yelps and begins violently thrashing his legs, which are now straight up in the air.

Before anything else can happen to Paul Bearer, Kane finally shows his face for the first time tonight when he suddenly storms into the room and attacks Jericho and Christian with a look of complete rage. Christian is throw right up against the wall and Jericho is throat thrusted onto the ground. Kane removes Bearer from the chair he was placed on and breaks it right over Jericho's back while he is on the ground. As both men groan in agony, Kane picks his father back up to his feet.

Paul Bearer: Oh my son... I know how very confusing this is all for you right now. But just know that all will make sense soon. Ohhhhhh yesssss. OHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSS!

Gritting his teeth, Kane drops to his knee in front of Bearer, showing him love the only way he knows how.

King: What a couple of freaks, waaaaah! Kane was already scary enough but does Paul Bearer really have that much power over him?!

JR: I can't give an answer on that, King! Kane is one of the most unpredictable minds to ever be in the WWE. But while The Undertaker has not shown in the flesh, it does feel like Bearer wants his boys to be cohesive. And boy is that a troubling thought!

---

This was quite possibly the most important match of Randy Orton's career. Not only is Shawn Michaels the biggest name opponent he has ever faced, knocking off the Heartbreak Kid would skyrocket his career and give him plenty of recognition both within Evolution and the WWE as a whole. Orton's been on an impressive roll as of late, but HBK is HBK. And Michaels is "the man" for a reason.

This was a very even, hotly contested match. Orton kept HBK on his toes and matched up with the former champion as if he was a contender himself. The two men wrestled shenanigan-free for most of the match, but when things started going all too well for HBK, that changed quick.

Though Evolution put Orton on a trial with this match, the respect he has within the group is still very much there and Ric Flair couldn't help himself but come out to ringside to support one of his proteges. And if you thought Flair would just be a neutral spectator, well, you don't know Ric Flair. At one point HBK was ready to tune up the band and Ric Flair would grab Michaels' leg to stop him dead in his tracks. That was enough to turn things into Orton's favor and even hit a RKO! 1..... 2.....

Not tonight! HBK would power out.

As HBK would fight to get back into it, RVD would jog down and battle with Flair on ringside, taking him out of distracting the match any further. Meanwhile, up on the ramp....

Booker and Batista are seen getting into a battle on the stage, Booker upholding his end of RVD's deal to keep Evolution's muscle out of the match entirely. With Evolution's interference plans snuffed out and HBK's rising momentum after the clutch kickout, a perfectly placed Sweet Chin Music puts Orton down for good.

Winner: Shawn Michaels @ 15:13 (79)

---

JR: Well an absolutely classic match here to close out RAW but we already have a slobberknocker of a brawl out here, folks!

While Orton recovered on the ground, the two brawling pairs continued to fight along ringside.

Triple H would neutralize that, however, rushing Booker from behind to allow Batista to spinebuster him onto the steel stage. Next it was RVD's turn, who is blindsided by "The Game" and sent screaming into the turnbuckle post outside. Batista, Flair and Triple H would then enter the ring, surrounding HBK.

JR: Somebody has to stop this, dammit! Evolution are like a swarm of flies right now and HBK has no other way out of here folks.... but wait a minute here!

Mick Foley upheld his promise of not involving himself in the match, but now that it's over has no problem hobbling down to the ring to help Michaels fight off Evolution. The distraction of Foley's music hitting gives HBK an opening to knock both Flair and Batista out, brawling with Triple H towards a corner. Foley makes it to the ring and Flair's attempt to rush him sends him flying out the ring. Batista and Foley then begin to scuffle. The 2-on-2 brawl doesn't last long, however, as Orton has now recovered and hits Foley with a devastating RKO. The brutal attack continues on HBK, the four men busting him open and Triple H puts the cherry on top with a Pedigree.

JR: By God.... Evolution stands tall on top of a big victory for Shawn Michaels. And look at this sickening carnage, King. The ring is soaked with the blood of Shawn Michaels!

King: You're looking at every male champion on RAW right now, JR! Randy Orton, Ric Flair, Batista and Triple H! And after taking out these four guys like it was nothing.... who is going to stop Evolution? We know it won't be Shawn Michaels, that's for sure!

JR: Well according to Eric Bischoff, that is. But somebody, somewhere has got to be able to stop this band of rabid dogs! From Indiana.... goodnight everyone!

QUICK RESULTS:

(Dark) Hurricane & Rosey def. Kirby Mack & Johnny Devine

(Dark) Hamada def. Christie Ricci

(Dark) Al Snow def. Lash LeRoux

Goldberg def. Rob Conway

Goldberg def. Rene Dupree

Matt Hardy def. Val Venis

Test def. Matt Cappotelli

Molly Holly def. Victoria

The Dudley Boyz def. Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak

Shawn Michaels def. Randy Orton

OVR: 88

Edited April 23, 2023 by Gouge

Gouge · April 12, 2023

Not gonna lie, the new forum software conversion completely killed any drive I had of continuing this diary again when it first launched! I was very saddened when a lot of my posts didn't properly transfer over and did not see myself going back to fix it.

Looking back.... a lot of it actually converted just fine! Except the first episode and the dirtsheet posts... which I'll fix one day. And truth be told, I actually like writing shows on this new software a lot more! Imagine that. Stop being stubborn, Gouge.

Anywho! Thinking I would never continue writing this again, I actually played this save all the way up until Vengeance! I put TEW away for a bit and coming back to it, I want to write for this again.

So here we go again. Hopefully I don't disappear again after a few shows!

Although if anyone knows how to embed a YouTube video and resize it to a small thumbnail, that would be rad. I miss not placing theme music when appropriate.

Edited April 12, 2023 by Gouge

Gouge · April 20, 2023

WWE SMACKDOWN!||Norfolk Scope Arena - Norfolk, VA||11,432 FANS

Shortly after the the fireworks kick off SmackDown, we get very little time to get settled in as the 2004 Royal Rumble winner's music blares for the excited Virginian crowd. Eddie Guerrero is surely about to come out as cameras quickly make their way to Tazz and MIchael Cole who have yet to introduce the show.

Michael Cole: Well folks, we welcome you to SmackDown and partner, Eddie Guerrero is not wasting any time opening the show here tonight!

Tazz: We saw Eddie laid flat on his back last week by his nephew Chavo and uh... well, his very big new pal!

Michael Cole: We still don't know the identity of Chavo's new friend but on the subject of friends, I can't imagine Eddie Guerrero is too thrilled with Chris Benoit here tonight. And look at the face on Eddie, partner. Guaranteed a title shot at WrestleMania and where anyone would want to be in their career, but you can see the pain and anguish he is going through despite being on top.

Eddie has by now made to the ring and what Michael Cole has described is very accurate. Eddie's body glistens under the green and red lights of his entrance but only a frown paints the contenders' face. Eddie paces around the ring for a moment, not taking any time to pose or milk in the crowd, who clearly adores him. When he is ready, Guerrero grabs and mic and leans towards the ropes.

Eddie Guerrero: Orale, forgive me, Virginia but.... well let's just say I'm not feeling too happy tonight. No estoy contento. And I'm going to cut right to the chase. Chavo, my nephew.... you crossed enough lines that I'm finished protecting you, puto! I had this weight in my heart that.... maybe, just maybe you'll wake up and realize how foolish you've been. Maybe you'll shake my hand and join this ride on the top with me.... rule SmackDown just like I always wanted us to. But I realize your selfishness has taken over any chance of that ever happening. I don't know who your new amigo is... I do know he hits hard. But next time I see him or you around me again... I'll hit harder. But enough about Chavo. Because exactly what Chavo wants is for me to speak about him, eh? You see, I got other problems here on Smackdown.... and that involves my best friend. Chris Benoit.... I'd like a word with you RIGHT NOW!

Benoit hurt Eddie when he left him to fend for himself last week and you can see how hurt Eddie is as he stares off to the stage, hoping the Rabid Wolverine pays him a visit.

Michael Cole: Benoit has a lot to answer for, partner. We've seen Chris Benoit robbed of a lot of opportunities as of late but his actions last week were downright cowardly!

Tazz: Now that's a bit harsh, don't you think Cole? Look, I won't defend Chavo Guerrero and what he did to his uncle, I've said that before and I'll say that again. You don't break blood like that, Cole. But Benoit and Eddie are friends AND rivals. And not for nothin', Benoit had nothing to do with that, let us just say, beef between Chavo and Eddie. Why should he involve himself in that?

Michael Cole: Benoit and Eddie have been friends for a decade, Tazz. Best friends! They came to the WWE together and both have had trials and tribulations that have stood in their way of getting to the top. Just because Eddie has been finally having more success means what for Benoit?! He just feeds him to the wolves? That's a load of crap, Tazz!

Tazz: Hey calm down there, Cole. I'm just sayin', WrestleMania is around the corner and these next few weeks are make or break for everyone's careers. Sometimes it's just not worth putting your neck out there if you don't need to... but maybe Benoit can better explain than I can, eh?

Sure enough the Rabid Wolverine's music does indeed blare over the speakers and the crowd is still not sure how to react. Benoit has been a fan favorite for his hard work, ring talent and underdog story that is easy to root for. And while it's also hard not to feel bad for Benoit's obstacles, his change in attitude is starting to wear thin on even some of his most diehard of fans.

Indeed, Benoit steps out onto the stage donning his Toothless Aggression T-shirt. Guerrero stares on as Benoit briskly makes his way down the ramp and climbs into the ring, glaring at his best friend from the other corner. Guerrero silently watches as Benoit grabs a microphone for himself to perhaps set the record straight.

Chris Benoit: I'm not really sure what you want me to say, Eddie. If you're looking for an apology... that's not what you're getting. An explanation? I'm not interested in involving myself in the Guerrero Family Circus. I have one goal and one goal only and that is to become WWE Champion. And quite frankly, you and your little nephew's conflict is getting in the way of ME accomplishing that dream.

Eddie Guerrero: So you just WATCH as my nephew attacks me from behind? Look my friend, I get it. You and I..... we're hungry, amigo. We want to be the best. And we've both worked so very hard to get the chance to put OUR names in marquee just for ONCE! But now when we've come this far you just.... turn your back?!

Chris Benoit: There is no "us" here, Eddie. The Radicalz haven't been around for a long time. We used each other to get our foot in the door. You're my friend, I don't deny that. But friends is not what I want or need right now. You're on your own in this one. And if you want a fight out of it? Go right ahead. I recall beating you last time that happened. Fact of the matter is this, Eddie... I'm sitting here once again with nothing to show for the work I've put in while you and Kurt Angle reap in the rewards. I'm happy for you, sure. I love seeing my friend succeed. But that should be ME! I proved I was the better man last week.... but you're still going to WrestleMania, aren't you? And Kurt Angle for being "friend of the year" gets his freebie WWE Championship match at No Way Out. I get NOTHING! So you want to sit here and moan about how I didn't save you from an attack? How about the fact that my supposed friend is okay with watching me get screwed over again... and again... AND AGAIN?

Frustrated that this is going nowhere, Eddie gets closer to Benoit, scowling as his nose nearly touches the Crippler. Benoit is emotionless, not trying to bait Eddie into another fight.

Tazz: Hey! It's our General Manager, Cole!

Michael Cole: Interim, Tazz.

Tazz: Alright, alright, we get it, Cole! But hey, you can't deny this kid had a hell of a first day last week!

Nowinski does a slight jog out onto the stage, dressed in his Harvard polo and beige slacks. Guerrero and Benoit both impatiently stare out onto the ramp as the impressive but still yet unproven General Manager cuts the tension off, giving a friendly wave to the jeering crowd.

Chris Nowinski: Gentlemen, gentlemen... do pardon the interruption but I do have an announcement to make to kick off this week's edition of... Harvard SmackDown! Now I do feel it is most appropriate that I interrupt this fracas as I do believe it proves a valuable lesson. No Way Out is in just a few days and we have but just one match announced! Kurt Angle will be challenging Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship and unfortunately for you, Chris Benoit, I am in no position of power to change that decision - which upon was made by Vince McMahon himself. However I DO have the authority to grant Kurt Angle one other match as he WILL be defending his United States Championship at No Way Out prior to challenging for the WWE Championship---

Chris Benoit: Before you decide to give me a "consolation prize", just know that is not going to stop me from continuing to pursue what I really want and that is the WWE Championship!

Chris Nowinski: Excuse me, Mr. Benoit. But I must inform you that your interjection was incorrect. There is no "consolation" prize. There is, however, what you may call "prizes" for individuals who have stepped up and proven that they can hang with someone of the caliber of Kurt Angle. And so, I have made my decision. Thus, Kurt Angle will be defending his United States Championship at No Way Out against.... Chavo Guerrero!

Eddie immediately begins shaking the ropes while gritting his teeth in anger over Nowinski's announcement. Benoit shakes his head and rolls out of the ring, but it appears Nowinski is not done.

Chris Nowinski: A final word, if you'd be kind enough to listen.... I sense a lot of unresolved tension between the two of you. And while a rematch would be most excellent.... I feel a tag team match is in order. So tonight's main event will see you, Eddie Guerrero, teaming up with Kurt Angle. And you will take on the team of Chris Benoit..... and BROCK LESNAR!

Benoit drops his arms to the announcement of having to team with one of his fiercest rivals in Brock Lesnar tonight. Eddie confidently nods in the ring, not looking away from Benoit.

Tazz: Well that's a bombshell, Cole! Four studs in the ring at once in the main event, oh man I can't wait. We know Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero make a great team but Chris Benoit and Brock Lesnar?! Gonna be interesting, that's for sure.

Michael Cole: No doubt about that, partner. Benoit has certainly never had issues fighting against friends but teaming with a sworn enemy is going to make an already uncomfortable situation even more explosive. And on the subject of uncomfortable situations, I'm getting word that Josh Matthews has just caught up with Chavo Guerrero to get his word on Chris Nowinski's big announcement just moments ago!

As stated, cameras do swiftly cut back to the interview section of the back as Josh Matthews stands by Chavo and his nameless friend, who laid Eddie Guerrero out last week.

Josh Matthews: Thanks Michael. I am, in fact, standing by with Chavo Guerrero here and... I don't think I caught his name?

Chavo Guerrero: I'll get to that in a minute, Josh... but I assume you're here to ask me about No Way Out and let me just say... I'm elated that someone finally recognizes MY worth. And by that, I mean CHAVO. All my career, I've been listening to everyone talk about how great Eddie is. How they can't wait for Eddie to finally crack that glass ceiling and make it to the top. How talented Eddie is, how funny Eddie is, how amazing Eddie is. Eddie this, Eddie that. But what about me, Josh? I'm just Eddie's little sidekick, destined to always be #2? Not gonna happen. So I am happy that Christopher Nowinski saw the work I've been putting in and is giving me an opportunity at No Way Out to show the world that I can hang with Kurt Angle and my uncle and Brock Lesnar and Chris Benoit. I'm not the little cero a la izquierda that EDDIE has painted me to be. And my friend here, Tomko... he knows a thing or two about my situation. We bonded about that. Tomko here is part of a proud Native American family. But Tomko's personal decisions caused him to be disowned by his own parents. Tomko wanted the world to himself and rather than support him, his family turned his back on him. And I can't say that I don't relate to that, Josh. Because the minute that I want recognition for ME and not my last name, I'm the bad guy. So me and Tomko here, we're riding together. And when I strip Kurt Angle of that championship come Sunday, we'll make sure you remember the name Chavo.

Chavo promptly walks off set. Tomko, arms crossed, stares intently into Josh's eyes for a brief moment before following Chavo off screen. Josh lets out a big gulp as we go back to ringside.

Michael Cole: Well we finally got the identity of the big man next to Chavo but that interview doesn't change any perception that Chavo has on himself.... he's still a selfish, ruthless coward who betrayed his uncle Eddie's trust.

Tazz: I don't respect what Chavo did but now that it's all said and done, all Chavo can do now is prove he's got what it takes. And look, say what you want, Chavo is a hell of a talented dude. And Tomko? I wouldn't want to get on his bad side.

Michael Cole: I'll never deny Chavo as a very talented superstar, but his tactics to get to this spot have been downright despicable! But I'll tell you this much, Tazz, I'm sure Kurt Angle is as happy as Chavo is about this match... you know he's been wanting to get his hands on him!

---

Tajiri's henchmen, Akio and Sakoda, sat ringside guarding the Cruiserweight Championship that Tajiri stole from Rey Mysterio. The men stare off at the ramp while the two veteran cruiserweights battled in a classic, high paced match. Though back and forth, Dragon had a score to settle with Tajiri and was determined to win this one and possibly earn his rematch with Mysterio that he's been wanting. As Dragon began to mount his comeback...

Mysterio would run down and confront Akio and Sakoda, wanting his belt back while Tajiri was occupied in a match. The henchmen were having none of it, however, as Akio strikes Mysterio first. Mysterio would answer back, but Sakoda would hit a lightning fast lariat that would send Mysterio on his back. Referee Brian Hebner, though trying to focus on the match, was agitated enough over the distraction that he would roll out of the ring and attempt to break up the fight just as Dragon would hit his patented Asai Reverse DDT. As Dragon would go for the cover, Hebner was too busy attempting to break up the two-on-one brawl going on outside. Dragon leaned up against the ropes in an attempt to get Hebner back in the ring, but the referee was too busy attempting to restrain Sakoda, who was laying the stomps on Mysterio. With Dragon's back turned, Tajiri would recover and spit the mist out, out of referee's sight, and put Dragon away with the Buzzsaw Kick. Tajiri's henchmen smartly stopped restraining and began to head to the back, where the referee would be available to count the 3.

Winner: Tajiri @ 7:11

---

As Tajiri would celebrate in the ring over Dragon's body, Mysterio was not about to give up on getting his title back. Once again on his feet, the masked superstar would dart back up the ramp and dive at Akio and Sakoda, knocking both men down. Mysterio followed up with a quick dropkick to Sakoda's face and began to bat Akio across his spine.

Tajiri, knowing exactly what Mysterio is up to, cuts his celebration short and runs up the ramp to meet Mysterio.

Before Tajiri and Mysterio can face off, however, Chris Nowinski is back out and has picked up the Cruiserweight Championship that was dropped on the floor. Draping it around his shoulder, Nowinski throws his palm out, calling out for Tajiri and Mysterio to stop.

Chris Nowinski: Enough! This nonsense is coming to an end right now! I'll be holding onto this championship until Sunday at No Way Out, for we have yet another match being made right about now. Rey Mysterio, since you can't seem to hold onto your own possessions, I deem it necessary to have you and Tajiri face off in a match that is all about possession. You two gentlemen will battle.... in a LADDER MATCH!

Tazz: Whoa-ho! You see that, Cole?! Nowinski does it again! What a match!

Michael Cole: Well I don't see why Tajiri would earn himself a title match by STEALING it, but I can't deny that's going to be a heck of a match at No Way Out!

---

AND NOW....

THE WWE BOOT OF THE WEEK...

Brought to you by LUGZ...

SMACKDOWN - LAST WEEK

As Bradshaw continues shouting at Scotty, Rikishi steps in front of his friend, putting his hand up towards Bradshaw. Holly puts his hand on Bradshaw's shoulder, trying to get him to come with him. As Rikishi gets Scotty up to his feet, Bradshaw rushes towards him with his arm extended.

Cole: Hey!

Tazz: Clothesline from Hell! And down goes Scotty again!

Cole: You know, I completely understand why Bradshaw is frustrated here but this is uncalled for!

LUGZ...

BOOTS

WITH AN ATTITUDE!

Michael Cole: Welcome back to SmackDown and folks, we've seen a different side to Bradshaw since his partner, Faarooq, was injured by Team Lesnar back in January.

Tazz: Bradshaw has been.... carefree as ever! Which hey, I appreciate how much fun Bradshaw likes to have but some might say he's throwing away his career.

Michael Cole: That's certainly what Hardcore Holly had to say to Bradshaw, a man who just threw caution to the wind by challenging Brock Lesnar for his WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble. And those two formed something of an alliance as of late but last week... we saw Bradshaw assault Scotty 2 Hotty following a six man tag team match that didn't go their way. And not only has Hardcore Holly taken exception to that unnecessary assault, but so has Scotty's best pal Rikishi. Tonight, Bradshaw and Rikishi will face off.... but earlier tonight, Rikishi confronted Bradshaw about his actions. Let's take a look!

Cameras show footage marked "Earlier Tonight" as Bradshaw and Holly are already mid conversation in the back.

Bradshaw: What IS the big deal, Bob? You said it yourself, start giving a damn more! Well I gave a damn that we lost and I clotheslined that little bastard to next week!

Hardcore Holly: The big deal is that it was MY choice to put Scotty in that match. And I admired Scotty for wanting to step up to the plate, something YOU have been having a problem doing. So what, we lose and your lesson to him is that he should have never even bothered?!

Bradshaw: Damn right! Scotty 2 Hotty, jeesh, give me a damn break here! We literally overturned Paul Heyman for rigging that cigarette-head fool in a match against Brock Lesnar. He's a joke! And he has no business in the ring with us, Bob. We're the rough and tough of SmackDown, you and I wanted to team up because we take no nonsense, right? Well that little jester is exactly that and I'll send him to hell again!

Hardcore Holly: I thought you were just here for a "good time".

Bradshaw: I am, dammit!

Before Holly can get another word in, Rikishi walks into frame, getting right into Bradshaw's face.

Bradshaw: What the hell do you want?

Rikishi: You're all fun and games, Bradshaw?

Bradshaw: Look, I have fun the way I know how. Sorry about your buddy. But he can't hang with us.

Rikishi: Well maybe next time, pick on someone your own size. But for tonight, while you're teaching "lessons"... I have a lesson of my own.

Bradshaw: Well I'm not interested in whatever is going on up your ass, but I intend on kicking yours to hell and back tonight!

---

A stiff battle between two big men, this was a no nonsense battle with emotions giving both men an extra boost of adrenaline. Scotty 2 Hotty came out with Rikishi and was cheering extra hard for his big friend to avenge him while Bradshaw wrestled with a bit of an attitude tonight. Bradshaw has been keen on reminding everyone he's only here for a good time, but Bradshaw took no time to have fun with the fans tonight.

After 7 minutes of clubs, bats and stiff slams, it Rikishi was put away clean as a whistle after Bradshaw nearly knocked his head off with a clothesline all the way from hell. Scotty helplessly looked on as Bradshaw pinned Rikishi, staring into Scotty's eyes as he did so.

Winner: Bradshaw @ 6:48

---

Bradshaw simply raised his hands in victory as Rikishi lay rolling on the ground. Scotty would cautiously slide into the ring to check on his friend, glancing at Bradshaw along the way. Bradshaw, eyeing Scotty, simply threw his hands up and began to head to the ropes. But it turned out to be a ruse as Bradshaw would quickly lunge at Scotty, taking his head off yet again with a clothesline. Bradshaw began laying the boots to both Scotty and Rikishi.

Michael Cole: This is ridiculous! What is this proving?!

Tazz: Hey everyone has been saying that Bradshaw needs to step it up, right? Well now he is! I don't see the problem here!

Michael Cole: Step it up in the ring, Tazz! This is unnecessary! And look at this, Hardcore Holly has had about enough of this!

Sure enough, Hardcore Holly comes screaming down the ramp and as soon as he gets into the ring, pushes Bradshaw right on his kiester. Taking exception to this, Bradshaw springs up and goes to blows with Holly, the two men locked against each other's shoulders and pounding each other's heads with stiff strikes. Not before long, agents flood the ring and separate the two.

Michael Cole: Hardcore Holly tried to light a fire under Bradshaw's butt to take his career a little bit more seriously, but I don't think he intended to make an enemy in doing so!

Tazz: Safe to say these two men are not friends any longer. And not for nothin', I think they prefer it that way!

---

We cut to the office of Chris Nowinski, where Team Angle stands by. Angle's United States Championship along with the World's Greatest Tag Team Championships glisten as Nowinski stands near his desk, hands clasped together.

Kurt Angle: You know Nowinski, I might just have to thank you. You may think I would argue with you about having to defend my United States Championship at No Way Out in addition to taking on Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship.... but I welcome the challenge. Not only that, I cannot wait to break Chavo Guerrero's ankle and give him a nice slice of humble pie.

Chris Nowinski: Sure, Kurt. I'm a strategic thinker when it comes to being General Manager of Operations here on SmackDown. And Chavo Guerrero is a natural choice to face you at No Way Out. Call it a warmup if you want. I know Chavo doesn't see it that way. But that's what makes that match so great. But there's another reason why I called you gentlemen in here tonight....

The FBI walk into view. Haas and Benjamin are noticeably on their guard as the three men enter, having some bad history with them as of late.

Nunzio: Fellas, fellas! So good to see you! And my am I ever so happy to bring us all together with the news I got here tonight! Ay Chris, why not fill them in on the agreement we just made, eh?

Chris Nowinski: Sure. As you guys know, I have a lot of work to do to fill out the No Way Out card. Matter of fact, I'm going to drop an announcement right here that nobody knows about yet! And after what happened out in the ring, I deem it necessary to have Bradshaw and Hardcore Holly settle their differences at No Way Out!

Kurt Angle: Well that's great, Nowinski. But what does that have to do with us?

Chris Nowinski: Another announcement for No Way Out, of course. I've been talking to Nunzio here and I think I have found the perfect opponents for Haas and Benjamin to defend their WWE Tag Team Championships. So this Sunday, they will be defending against the FBI, Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli!

Stamboli and Palumbo immediately get face to face with the World's Greatest. Angle's mentees don't budge, however, seemingly just as happy they get to take on the duo who have been thorns in their side the whole time. We cut back to ringside.

---

In this mixed tag team match, Shaniqua spent a good majority overpowering the smaller and weaker Torrie. But Cena's rallying would lead to a hot tag, which sent Cena screaming into a flurry of offense against one half of the former WWE Tag Team Champions. The Bashams have mastered foul play in their time on SmackDown, however, and this match was not without it. While Shaniqua was able to distract Cena...

Danny and Doug would pull the ol' switcharoo and Danny would attempt to get a quick roll-up on Cena. Though it was a close one, Cena would be able to power out. Somehow the referee doesn't notice the change in participants and the match continues with Cena overpowering Danny in everything he does. After a quick rout, Cena would get Danny up on his shoulders while Torrie would sneak in an attack on Shaniqua to knock her off the apron and onto Doug. The FU was immanent. But....

Out of nowhere, Chris Benoit would appear in the ring and dive right into Cena's legs, causing him to fall to the ground. Benoit would begin to unleash strikes to Cena's head as the referee calls for the bell, throwing this match out.

Winners: John Cena & Torrie Wilson @ 5:37 (via DQ)

---

Michael Cole: What in the world is going on out here, Tazz?! Chris Benoit is attacking John Cena liked a rabid dog!

Tazz: Chris Benoit is in the main event later tonight but that ain't stoppin' him from getting some revenge on John Cena. He's been saying it for weeks, Cole... Cena cost Benoit his shot!

Michael Cole: John Cena eliminated Chris Benoit from the Royal Rumble... a match that is every man for himself and a match that everybody wants to win! John Cena wanted that main event just as much as Benoit did!

Benoit and Cena would spill out onto the apron and brawl around the ring, up the ramp and to the backstage. Torrie Wilson, totally clueless on how to handle this situation, helplessly watches in the ring as Cena disappears behind the curtains.

The curtains would swing open again but it was not Benoit and Cena battling back towards the ring, but instead Ernest "The Cat" Miller heading to the stage with a big grin on his face. With a mic in hand, Miller looks directly at Torrie.

Ernest Miller: Well now! What do we got here, Torrie? A little lost kitty cat?! Gosh Torrie, what will you ever do without Cena by your side? Well I got news for you little lady, getting nekkid ain't gonna save you here, oh no! And boy have you been getting all the spotlight for that, you and that wetch Sable eh? But what about No Way Out? You ladies free?

Miller holds his ear out towards Torrie, who looks as confused as ever. She simply points towards Miller and back to herself, mouthing "me against you?" and lets out a laugh. Miller shakes his head on the stage.

Ernest Miller: Awww naw, I know what you're thinking there little Torrie! You want to get in the ring with THE CAT? You want to take on the GREATEST OF ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TIME? Well heck, Torrie, I know I can have my way with you with my eyes closed and hands tied behind my back and feet taped together! And that's cause I'm a three time karate champion and you a little floozy who is only known for taking your clothes all off, ain't that right? But naw naw, it won't be me you're taking on at No Way Out. Matter of fact, I found myself a STUDENT to take on ladies like you and while I'm busy taking out the trash on the male side of things, my grasshopper is fixin' to take care of the so called "ladies" of SmackDown!

With that, an unknown female in a karate gi slides into the ring from the crowd and spins Torrie around, planting her with a modified Michinoku Driver.

Ernest Miller: Little lady Torrie, meet my grasshopper that will be taking you on Sunday in my place! This is Hamada!

Miller does a kung-fu pose on the stage while Hamda bows towards her sensei.

Michael Cole: Well we know Ernest Miller has been extremely jealous of Sable and Torrie's publicity from their Playboy shoot but this is getting a bit out of hand!

Tazz: Ernest Miller is hungry for the spotlight and after beating our own boss at the Rumble, he's still not getting what he thinks is a fair shake! So why not get others on board? Hamada's a pretty good recruit if I say so myself, Cole!

---

Back from commercial the cameras are following Cena and Benoit, who are still brawling backstage. Cena clearly has the advantage, dragging Cena by the back of his head and tossing him into a vending machine. Gripping onto the machine, Benoit stomps Cena in the chest.

Chris Nowinski and a hoard of agents rush onto the screen, breaking the two men up. Cena grabs onto Benoit's legs, not giving up the fight and wanting more. But Fit Finlay and Dean Malenko pry Cena's fingers off Benoit, who is still flailing to get more.

Chris Nowinski: That's enough! Clearly we have unfinished business here but you two are more than welcome to continue this at No Way Out!

Tazz: Oh man! Another match announced for No Way Out and this card is filling up, Cole!

Michael Cole: Definitely a must needed match after that assault by Benoit but judging by Cena's will, you know he wants this match just as bad!

---

Back to action, Perry Saturn makes his return to SmackDown after competing on Velocity for the last couple of weeks. Saturn has rich history with Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, two men who have also been involved in the drama surrounding Chavo Guerrero. And you can certainly tell that Chavo wanted to use Saturn as an example. The grappling veteran was not going to go down easy, however, having an answer for everything the younger Guerrero brought to him.

A close match to the end, Guerrero would eventually have to resort to dirty tactics to put Saturn away. With his buddy Tomko at ringside, Chavo would roll Saturn up and grab onto the ropes, with extra leverage coming from the big man himself. The referee missed the shenanigans, counting the three.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero @ 9:24

---

Michael Cole: Well I hope Chavo Guerrero has a better plan than that at No Way Out! But if he wanted to show the world he has what it takes, resorting to using the ropes to beat Saturn here sure isn't changing anyone's mind!

Tazz: Chavo is all about scrapping to the top, any way he can. And regardless of any way you slice it, Chavo got the win here tonight and against one of his uncle's best friends no less! Not for nothin', but he sent a message here tonight!

Michael Cole: Wait a minute!

Chavo's celebration doesn't last long as Eddie Guerrero would come running down to the ring in a full sprint, still unable to ever catch Chavo in a vulnerable position since his nephew turned on him. Chavo and Tomko don't stick along, however, as the two men high tail it out of there despite the numbers advantage. While in the ring, Eddie looks down at his old friend.

Extending a hand out, Guerrero helps Saturn back to his feet and the two men embrace in the ring.

Michael Cole: Saturn may not have come out on top here tonight, but Eddie Guerrero has found himself another much needed ally and friend in this toxic atmosphere that has taken over Thursday nights!

Cameras cut to the back near the entrance where A-Train is getting ready for his match with Big Show. Dawn Marie stands at the big man's side, sliding her hand up and down his back and giving him soft words of encouragement.

Matt Morgan, who Dawn has been accompanying as of late, walks into frame with an aggravated look on his face.

Matt Morgan: So what is this?! You're going to come down to the ring with Cousin It tonight? What happened to us?

Train glares at his former colleague while Dawn simply lets out a chuckle.

Dawn Marie: What "us" is this you're referring to Matty? Gaaaaawd, you guys all just can't get along can't ya? I was the consultant for Paul Heyman ya'know, I consulted him on several things and that included Team Lesnar, hello! I have loyalties to all you guys despite everything that happened between you all.

Matt Morgan: So now that we're all going our separate ways, you're going to manage all of us? How is that going to work? I thought you and I had something, Dawn, I really did.

Dawn Marie: Hmmm..... you know, Matty, maybe you're right. Maybe I do need to pick just one. But for now, I'll be ringside. Now you be a good boy and stay back here, hm?

A-Train sneers at Morgan, getting closer to his face with a snarl.

A-Train: Stay the hell out of my way, Morgan.

Dawn Marie and A-Train walk off, leaving a flustered looking Morgan to himself.

Tazz: Can't blame Morgan for being a bit jealous there, Cole. Dawn Marie is a dime!

Michael Cole: Tensions have broken the former Team Lesnar members to pieces and I can't help but feel Dawn Marie sees this all as a big game, partner.

---

The Big Show faces off against yet another former Team Lesnar member in A-Train, but this match is a little bit more closely contended with two very large men going toe-to-toe. Dawn Marie, as promised, stays ringside as the men get into a very physical brawl, each slam causing the entire arena to echo.

Midway into the match, Rhyno would make an appearance and attempt to distract Show, wanting revenge on his loss last week. Though the distraction proved to help A-Train get back on top, Dawn Marie began to flirt with the former ECW Champion on the outside. A-Train would take exception to this, rolling out of the ring and confronting the Man Beast. This gave Show an opportunity to recover....

But Matt Morgan would enter the ring and promptly give Show a boot, ending the match in a DQ.

Winner: A-Train @ 7:23 (via DQ)

---

It didn't take long for things to get completely out of control with both Show and A-Train furious over that ending. Morgan wasn't interested in hanging around, smirking at ruining A-Train's match as he passes him and grabs Dawn by the arm. Attempting to escort her to the back, A-Train would wrangle him up and throw him into the ring. Big Show began brawling with Rhyno and soon enough, all four men would start getting licks on each other. Dawn Marie, big smile on her face, would watch on the stage.

Chris Nowinski, who has been having a very busy night compiling a card for No Way Out, comes out holding a referee shirt. Looking at Dawn with a smile, he hands her the shirt and points at the ring. Dawn gives a nod of understanding before throwing a seductive pose towards the men, who continue to brawl.

Michael Cole: Well tensions have reached an absolute breaking point here, partner, and look who gets away scot free!

Tazz: Hey you're not wrong, Cole. Dawn Marie does love this! Four dudes all fighting for her. And look at Nowinski, Cole!

Michael Cole: Well I'm being told by the producers right now that Big Show, A-Train, Rhyno and Matt Morgan will be competing in a fatal four way at No Way Out.... and if I'm understanding what Nowinski is doing here, it seems Dawn Marie will be the special guest referee.

Tazz: Dawn has got these guys heads spinning... who knows what's going to happen Sunday! I'm sure she'll be fair, right?

Michael Cole: Sure, partner. Whatever you say!

---

Cameras cut to the back where Josh Matthews stands by Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, their first appearance on the show. Lesnar stands emotionless while Heyman rubs his hands, a smarmy smirk on his face.

Josh Matthews: Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman, we're just moments away from the main event where Chris Benoit will be teaming with you.... after these last few months where you've done nothing but screw Chris Benoit, how are you going to be able to team up tonight?

Paul Heyman: What did you just say to me, Josh Matthews? SCREW over? You mind rephrasing that?

Josh Matthews: Well pardon me, Mr. Heyman, but let's just say you two have had quite the conflict.

Paul Heyman: Myself and Chris Benoit did have conflict, correct. And that reason for conflict was because Chris Benoit went against my vision of SmackDown. We are currently in the Brock Lesnar era of pro wrestling, do you understand that Josh? I did not SCREW Chris Benoit over. I gave him trials to see if he was ready for the task and he FAILED. As former General Manager of SmackDown, it was my JOB to test our roster and push them to their very limits. Because my client right here, BUH-ROCK LESNAR, is unlike any other competitor in the HISTORY of the WWE. And to have the privilege and HONOR of taking on my client for his WWE Championship..... well, that takes something beyond just guts, Josh. So I suppose that brings us to tonight, doesn't it? Chris Benoit just happens to have some common enemies with my client these last few weeks.... and that puts us together today. Does that bother me? Of course not. Because partner or no partner, Brock Lesnar goes into every match with one goal in mind. And that is to annihilate anyone that stands in his way. So if you'll excuse us, Josh.... my client here is going to do just that.

---

It was obvious from the get-go that Benoit and Lesnar were not on the same page here. Guerrero and Angle have formed a tight bond and chemistry together but that was not the case for the other side of the fence. And while Benoit has never had a problem taking on his best friend Eddie in competition, it does seem he is still apprehensive about doing it to benefit Brock. The two men would argue, blind tag each other and eventually start shoving each other as Guerrero and Angle would work flawlessly. Lesnar and Benoit's arguing would eventually lead to physicality, which senior official Nick Patrick would attempt - and fail - to break up, leading to the referee to be bumped onto the ground and out cold. Angle and Guerrero would take advantage of this, beginning to hit signature moves on Benoit and Lesnar. After a trio of suplexes, Benoit would roll out of the ring to safety...

With a bandage covering his head, John Cena sprinted down the ramp and tackled Benoit onto the ground, pummeling the Rabid Wolverine for what he did to him earlier. As the two men brawl around the ring, Cena would lift Benoit onto his shoulders and hit a F-U, sending Benoit through the announce table and taking him out of the match completely. Nick Patrick still laid still as Cena left through the crowd. Lesnar was stuck in a virtual handicap match between Angle and Benoit.

Though Lesnar held his own against the two veteran grapplers, Angle and Guerrero were too much to handle together. Suplex after suplex after suplex, Lesnar was thrown around the ring like we've never seen him handled before.

With the referee still down, Chavo Guerrero and Tomko would interfere and knock both Angle and Guerrero to the ground with a blindside. Focusing their attack on Eddie, the scorned nephew would throw him out of the ring with Tomko laying Angle out with a big boot for good measure before helping his buddy with Eddie. With Angle knocked out, Lesnar would recover and hit a F-5 just as Angle got back to his feet. Nick Patrick would groggily count the three.

Winner: Brock Lesnar & Chris Benoit @ 14:57

---

Tomko and Chavo continued their assault on Guerrero, laying him out cold on the mat. Lesnar stood above Angle's body, holding his title up high.

Michael Cole: This is outrageous! When is Chavo Guerrero going to learn to take Eddie on in a fair fight?!

Tazz: Well John Cena DID take Chris Benoit out of the match earlier so all is fair in love and war here, Cole.

Michael Cole: In any case, there is no hiding for Chavo at No Way Out, Tazz! Kurt Angle takes on both Chavo Guerrero and Brock Lesnar with both the United States and WWE Championships on the line! We'll see you Sunday!

---

Quick Results:

(Dark) Ernest Miller def. Nick Dinsmore

(Dark) Tomko def. Shannon Moore

(Dark) Shannon Moore def. Nova

Tajiri def. Ultimo Dragon

Bradshaw def. Rikishi

John Cena & Torrie Wilson def. Doug Basham & Shaniqua

Chavo Guerrero def. Perry Saturn

A-Train def. The Big Show

Chris Benoit & Brock Lesnar def. Eddie Guerrero & Kurt Angle

OVR: 76

Edited April 20, 2023 by Gouge

Gouge · April 22, 2023

SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT||COW PALACE - DALY CITY, CA||16,500 FANS *SELL OUT*

Sunday Night Heat gets a bigger pyro than usual as the camera pans around the Cow Palace, giving free viewers a preview of the No Way Out set and audience. Rather than Coach and Snow at the booth, tonight Josh Matthews and Bill DeMott are at the helm.

Josh Matthews: Welcome to a very special SMACKDOWN edition of Sunday Night Heat, your pregame show to No Way Out - SmackDown's exclusive penultimate PPV before WrestleMania! Josh Matthews here with my partner, Bill DeMott, and Bill - we have a star studded show here at the Cow Palace... biggest story of them all, of course, is Kurt Angle having two championship matches here tonight.

Bill DeMott: And neither of those matches are going to be an easy ladder to climb, Josh. Kurt is our reigning United States champion and took the responsibility of defending it tonight even though he has a chance at the WWE Championship at all against Brock Lesnar.

Josh Matthews: You have to admire the heart and dedication of WWE's only olympic gold medalist. And folks, Let's check in on Kurt Angle as we are less than hour away from No Way Out!

Kurt Angle is shown warming up in the dressing room, stretching his arms out and cranking his neck. Angle is already dressed to compete, knowing his first of two matches will be towards the bottom of the card.

Eddie Guerrero enters the screen, not scheduled to compete tonight but guaranteed a main event at WrestleMania. Angle perks up seeing his friend, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

Eddie Guerrero: Que pasa, holmes, big night! Wanted to wish you well. I'm jealous, Kurt, I can't deny that.

Kurt Angle: Jealous? What the heck do you have to be jealous for, Eddie? You will get your shot at WrestleMania. And despite how close we've become, Eddie... I hope you're prepared to take me on at Madison Squared Garden.

Eddie Guerrero: I'm not jealous about your WWE Championship match, Kurt. It's your match against Chavo. I always wrote off facing my nephew in the ring after he turned his back on me.... I didn't want to play his game, homie. But all I want to do is.... just make him shut up!

Kurt Angle: You don't need to stoop yourself to his level, Eddie. Trust me. After I break Chavo's ankle to kick off No Way Out, he's going back to the bottom of the ranks where he belongs. He talks all this talk about how nobody respects him because of being your shadow... but the fact of the matter is, he wouldn't be anywhere close to where he is now if it wasn't because of you, Eddie. Let him run his punk mouth. I'm going to shut it tonight.

Eddie Guerrero: Well.... I did have a question for you, amigo. And it pertains to Chavo's new amigo there. Tomko. I'm sick and tired of those two hitting me from behind.

Kurt Angle: You and me both!

Eddie Guerrero: So how about I come out with you tonight? Even the playing the field?

Kurt Angle: Eddie, I appreciate that.... but no thanks. I'll be fine. I got your back and I know you got mine. But when it comes to ring competition, I need to do this myself. If Tomko wants to stick his nose in this match, so be it. I'll suplex him right out of the freakin' ring. I'm not scared of him. And I'm certainly not scared of little Chavo. But keep this in mind, Eddie.... when Chavo starts slapping the mat in agony as I lock in the ankle lock, I won't let go until he starts shouting "Sorry Eddie".

Eddie Guerrero: Very well. But look, Kurt.... he's still my blood. And as much of a pendejo as he's turned out to be lately.... let's not go out of our way to break his bones, eh?

Eddie returns Angle's friendly pat and walks off. Without skipping a beat, Angle gets back to warming up, bending down over his bench and resting his head down in supposed prayer. Back to ringside.

Josh Matthews: The friendship between Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle has grown stronger than ever with betrayal surrounding Eddie Guerrero's career. Folks, there's still time to order No Way Out on PPV. Call your local cable or satellite provider right now to order No Way Out where you can see Kurt Angle defend his United States Championship against Chavo Guerrero AND challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship. It's a double shift like you've never seen before!

---

Noble and Nidia would do a kiss cam segment prior to this match starting, using Nidia's blindness to play up some comedy. Orlando Jordan patiently waited in the corner but just as Noble started to insult one couple's looks when they kissed, Jordan jumped the gun and attacked Noble to the cheers of the crowd. Jordan used his strength to stay on top while Noble resorted to weaselly tactics to keep Jordan from finishing him. Just when you thought Jordan had Noble where he wanted him...

Noble would once again resort to using his blind girlfriend as a weapon, hiding behind her when Jordan chased her around the ring and then flinging her like a bullet into Jordan's ribs. Quickly rolling him back in the ring, Noble was able to lock in the Trailer Hitch to submit Jordan.

Winner: Jamie Noble @ 6:30

---

Josh Matthews: I can't believe that Nidia puts up with Jamie Noble the way she does! Noble picks up yet another victory by putting her in harms way!

Bill DeMott: I think it's smart, Josh! And Nidia doesn't seem to mind! Jamie Noble is a lot brighter than people give him credit for. Nidia and Jamie Noble make a dynamic duo, that's for sure!

Josh Matthews: Well on the subject of intergender dynamic duos, one such has been Torrie Wilson and John Cena. Cena has gone out of his way to impress our latest Playboy Playmates Sable sand Torrie, and won their attention with not just his rapping, but getting some momentum in the ring too!

Bill DeMott: But you know who takes exception to that, Josh? Your former colleague, Ernest "The Cat" Miller! And why not? We saw Ernest Miller pin Vince McMahon himself at the Royal Rumble. But he's still struggling to get the recognition that he.... quite frankly, deserves!

Josh Matthews: Well the legitimacy of Miller's win leaves a lot to be desired. And you can't help but wonder if Miller is jealous of John Cena. Miller has been calling Cena, Torrie and Sable out for awhile now and with Cena busy against Chris Benoit tonight... Miller introduced his "grasshopper" to take care of Torrie Wilson for him. Let's take a look.

Cameras cut to Ernest "The Cat" Miller and his new "grasshopper" Hamada, standing aside Funaki at the interview booth.

Funaki: Ah, Funaki here.... NUMBER ONE ANNOUNCER!

Funaki looks at Hamada up and down and realizing she's a fellow Japanese performer, Funaki speaks with a smile on his face.

Funaki: Nihonjindesu ka? Soshite, anata wa ima WWE ni imasu ka?

Miller furrows his brows in confusion as Hamada nods her head towards Funaki.

Hamada: Hai. Soshite, watashi wa koko de toppu no josei pafoma ni naru tsumoridesu.

Funaki: Nande kon-na baka to issho ni iru no?

Hamada gasps and glares at Funaki, Miller shakes his head.

Ernest Miller: No, no, no. We ain't doing this here. English! ENGLISH! Do you speak it, Funaki? Listen here, you don't even need to stick that damn microphone in my face, son, I can do the talking here. #1 announcer? I'm #1 Karate champion! THREE TIMES! That's me, the greatest there EVEEEEEEEEEEEEER WAS! And Hamada here, my grasshopper, my student, my protege.... I did pick her right from the land of the rising sun to come here to the WWE and crush the women's competition one by one by one by one starting WITH that little wetch, that nekkid-in-a-magazine ho, Torrie Wilson! Cause y'see, it's like I've always been saying... Torrie Wilson would be NOWHERE without those two cannons strapped to her chest if you know what I'm saying here, Funaki. So while John Cena occupies himself with the Rabid Wolverine tonight, I'm going to stand ringside to watch Hamada here wipe the floor with Torrie Wilson's pretty little face!

---

Josh Matthews: Welcome back to Cow Palace and you are listening to Spineshank's "Beginning of the End", the official theme song to No Way Out off Spineshank's new album - Self Destructive Pattern. And Bill, you might say that last Thursday we saw the beginning of the end of the friendship between Hardcore Holly and Bradshaw.

Bill DeMott: Bradshaw is trying to become a new man and I'm all for his personal growth, Josh. Faarooq has been injured since the beginning of January and with a broken leg, it'll be awhile before we see him again... it's only appropriate that Bradshaw takes matters into his own hands.

Josh Matthews: Well Bradshaw has struggled to get anywhere since being forced to go on his own and that frustration resulted in a senseless attack on Scotty 2 Hotty. With Bradshaw imploding, it seems his "only here to have a good time" attitude is behind him.

---

This eight man tag team didn't take long to turn into an absolute mess. After cycling through various tags for the first few moments, the heels attempting a double team lead to the faces coming in and brawling. With action in the ring and spilling to ringside, Rikishi was able to put Akio away with a Rikishi Driver.

Winners: Rikishi, Scotty 2 Hotty, Billy Kidman & Paul London @ 8:41

---

Josh Matthews: Well we just saw Kyo Dai eat a loss and you have to wonder if that's an omen for things to come for Tajiri tonight as he faces Rey Mysterio in a ladder match.

Bill DeMott: Tajiri still feels like he's the Cruiserweight champion and unfortunately, possession is not 9/10ths of the law here in the WWE. But chalk it up to Chris Nowinski for making the brilliant decision to have these two high flyers take each other on in a ladder match!

Funaki: Funaki, #1 ANNOUNCER here with Rey Mysterio! Rey Mysterio, you are Cruiserweight Champion.... but you only will remain if you climb the ladder and retrieve it. Will you climb the ladder of success tonight?!

Rey Mysterio: That's exactly what I plan to do tonight, Funaki. Tajiri, I beat you once and apparently that wasn't enough. But I never will back down from a challenge. And if it's a ladder match you want to find out the true Cruiserweight champion, it's a ladder match you get. And I'll tell you this, Fuanki... it's going to be high flying and exciting!

Ultimo Dragon walks onto the set, firmly shaking Mysterio's hand.

Ultimo Dragon: Despues de esta noche, guiero mi oportunidad.

Speaking in Spanish to Mysterio, the masked champion understands what he is told and nods his head. Dragon gives him a first slap on the back and walks off.

Bill DeMott: I'm a little rusty on my Spanish, what was that about?

Josh Matthews: Ultimo Dragon and Rey Mysterio have had a bit of a mutual respect of sorts, but Dragon's previous shot at the Cruiserweight Championship was compromised. It's safe to say he's expecting a title match here soon, no matter who the champion might be!

---

Gunn and Kanyon are two charismatic guys and it showed as the majority of the match was spent playing to the crowd and hooking them into a match of theatrics. When the charade was over, things stayed relatively close up to Billy Gunn hitting a Fame-Asser to put Kanyon away.

Winner: Billy Gunn @ 7:19

---

Following the commercial, we are back with Tazz and Michael Cole at the announce table.

Cole: Folks, we are less than 10 minutes away from SmackDown's No Way Out, live here at the Cow Palace. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for tuning into a special SmackDown edition of Sunday Night Heat. But partner, we are ready for the main attraction!

Tazz: No Way Out is here, Cole. It's the final stop before WrestleMania and you know how hungry these guys are to pick up some very important wins before the grandaddy of them all!

Cole: It is not too late to order No Way Out. Call your satellite or cable provider right now to learn how to order No Way Out on PPV! And Tazz, let's take a look at this card!

Cole: WWE Tag Team Championships on the line tonight, Tazz. The World's Greatest Tag Team won a title chance by random luck during a special live draw edition of SmackDown and they have been on a roll since!

Tazz: But my paisanos, the Full Blooded Italians, have not been too keen of the World's Greatest, blaming them for getting their popular betting station shut down! And hey, I miss that thing too!

Cole: It just so happened the FBI already had bad blood with Kurt Angle's students prior to them winning the WWE Tag Team Championships and it seems Chris Nowinski saw it appropriate that they settle their differences tonight - titles on the line!

Tazz: Two dudes at a crossroads here, Cole. Hardcore Holly is trying to recover from failing to win the belt off Brock Lesnar while Bradshaw has been in a rut since losing Faarooq.

Cole: Hardcore Holly wanted to form an alliance with Bradshaw and while they won their first match together, the next loss was all it took for these men to turn on each other.

Tazz: And you want to talk about rough and tumble? These are two tough, fist swinging dudes and let me just tell ya' now that this is gonna be a STIFF one, folks.

Cole: Torrie Wilson and Sable are gracing the latest edition of Playboy Magazine, something Ernest Miller does not appreciate. And with Miller wanting to get his name out there, he's recruited this Japanese diva, Hamada - who we still don't know much about - to take Torrie Wilson on.

Tazz: Hamada is a total wildcard, Cole. We have yet to see her in action but Ernest Miller is convinced that Torrie Wilson is not suited for ring competition. And something tells me Torrie is in big trouble here tonight!

Cole: And you might be wondering where John Cena falls into all of this, but....

Cole: ...Cena definitely already has his hands full tonight as he talks on Chris Benoit.

Tazz: We've seen Chris Benoit reach his breaking point after failing to win the Royal Rumble, something he blames John Cena for.

Cole: Cena eliminated Chris Benoit from the Royal Rumble. And with growing frustrations with failing to ever get the title shot he feels he's earned, Benoit instead brutally attacked Cena last Thursday on SmackDown to signify this drastic change in attitude from Benoit. But while Benoit looks to make an example out of the "Doctor of Thuganomics", Cena himself has been on a huge role as of late!

Tazz: This, in my book, is one of the most important matches at No Way Out tonight, Cole. No titles on the line, no stipulations. Just two guys with very hot momentum looking to make a statement before WrestleMania. A win here for either of these guys is huge!

Tazz: Oh man... is our ring even tested for these four dudes?!

Cole: Team Lesnar has officially imploded following Paul Heyman's usurpation but these four men have a lot of unfinished business... and Dawn Marie, Heyman's former consultant, has had quite the fun time toying with these men's emotions.

Tazz: Who wouldn't want Dawn Marie by their side? She's a doll! And tonight, she's got the stripes on.

Cole: Something tells me that Dawn Marie is going to handpick a winner here, but who knows what will happen when these four big men explode here in Daly City!

Tazz: Look out, Cole! Cruiserweight action!

Cole: SmackDown is home of the cruiserweight division and folks, this is the pinnacle of what this division is all about. Tajiri and Rey Mysterio are already two of the most athletic stars we have and they'll be taking each other on in one of the most dangerous matches in all of WWE - a ladder match.

Tazz: Rey Mysterio rounded out 2003 by defeating Tajiri for the Cruiserweight Championship. And Tajiri has not let that down since, eventually leading to him stealing the championship from Rey!

Cole: Well stealing a championship does not make you champion. But Rey has definitely felt empty without that belt around his waist. But tonight will settle it once and for all. Who will climb to success tonight?!

Cole: Well Chavo Guerrero has definitely shown his true colors and has completely turned his back on his uncle, Eddie Guerrero. After several assaults on both Eddie and Kurt Angle, it seems Chavo's new aggression has earned himself a title shot against Kurt Angle.

Tazz: Chavo Guerrero slapping Eddie Guerrero was one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen, Cole. And it's hard for me to respect Chavo for what he did to Eddie. But let's face it. Chavo is trying to take control of his career and I applaud him for trying to prove his doubters wrong. And his new friend Tomko is pretty scary too.

Cole: Tomko has proved a powerful ally and has helped Chavo in some brutal attacks as of late... but there is no "sneaking" around this one, Tazz. This is a one-on-one match and you know Kurt Angle has been dying to finally get his hands on Chavo Guerrero.

Cole: No need to adjust your television sets, folks. Kurt Angle is wrestling twice tonight. And after his match with Chavo Guerrero, Kurt Angle will face off with the WWE Champion - the unstoppable Brock Lesnar.

Tazz: You said it, Cole. Unstoppable is right. Lesnar has been stronger than ever since regaining the gold and he's determined to get to WrestleMania as defending champion.

Cole: Paul Heyman has done everything in his power to keep Brock Lesnar on top. But with Team Lesnar imploding and Heyman being removed as the GM, Brock Lesnar is on his own tonight. Of course the biggest handicap going into this will be Kurt Angle already having a match.

Tazz: There's always going to be something tipping the scale towards Lesnar. And even without his team backing him this time, Angle's double match scenario gives Lesnar a huge advantage. But this one is gonna be for the books! A WrestleMania 19 rematch, my God!

Cole: Folks, we are MINUTES away from this extravaganza. This is your final chance. Call your cable or satellite provider RIGHT NOW and order No Way Out! We thank you for joining us during this free preview of No Way Out. Tazz and I remain here at the Cow Palace for No Way Out, but from here on Spike TV, we'll see you on PPV!

---

NO WAY OUT

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP: Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Kurt Angle

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: Kurt Angle (c) vs. Chavo Guerrero

LADDER MATCH FOR CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Tajiri

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS: World's Greatest Tag Team (c) vs. The Full Blooded Italians

SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE DAWN MARIE: A-Train vs. Matt Morgan vs. Rhyno vs. The Big Show

Chris Benoit vs. John Cena

Bradshaw vs. Hardcore Holly

Hamada w/ Ernest Miller vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn · April 23, 2023

Brock Lesnar
Kurt Angle
Rey Mysterio
WGTT
Big Show
Chris Benoit
Hardcore Holly
Hamada

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