"How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?" (C-Verse)

[HRTVAndrew]

It's been a minute since I had the wherewithal to write a dynasty thread about a TEW game. However, work's on the slow side, and I got hit with a unique bit of inspiration for a particular kind of game I hadn't tried yet.

 

If you're looking for dynasty threads heavy on graphics, this won't be the sort of thread you'll enjoy. My threads are very similar to those of writers like TCP1, whose "Welcome to New York" diaries are some of the best I've ever read despite not bashing people over the head with fancy HTML or long, drawn-out match and segment breakdowns. I'm a journalist-type by trade, and my writing reflects that.

 

With that in mind, let's head off to the Aloha State, where the hero of this story is facing a mid-life crisis of sorts...

 

It's January of 2020, and Clark Alexander has a problem: He's in wrestling's version of no-man's land.

 

Alexander's been universally respected as a solid hand for the better part of two decades. He's a decent worker, with some charisma, that can generally be counted on to have a strong match with pretty much anyone. However, due to his lack of size and in-ring skills that topped out as "good" rather than "great," there was always a ceiling in place. He's now on the wrong side of 40, and as he looks out onto the Pacific Ocean from his perch near a beach in Hawaii, he finds himself asking a very important question.

 

"What's next?"

 

Alexander has an inbox of emails from promoters on the mainland. They're small-time, and the paydays promised barely cover his travel. Japan and Australia represent untapped markets, and would've been welcome destinations for him 10 years earlier, but they aren't easy places for an American veteran older than 40 to break into.

 

He checks his email inbox again...and sees a note from an unfamiliar email address.

 

"Clark,

 

Know you're going through a lot. Think I can help. Call me. XXX-XXX-XXXX.

 

- Pablo"

 

...Pablo? Pablo Rodriguez?

 

Clark isn't sure how Pablo got his email address, and it's not like they're close. However, Pablo isn't some seedy promoter or booker. He's a fellow veteran who's thriving while working the independent circuit (specifically the COTT promotions, where he serves as the alliance's champion). That makes this outreach a bit different.

 

Clark dials the number in the email, and Pablo answers on the second ring.

 

"Yeah, hi Pablo. Listen...how'd you get my email?"

 

He nods.

 

"Well, it stood out, that's why I called. What did you have in mind?"

 

We hear little bits of Pablo's response, delivered with the Mexican accent American fans have come to recognize.

 

"...I don't think we've had a company here in years. You're right, that's an opportunity, but that takes money..."

 

Pablo interrupts, and says something that makes Alexander tilt his head to one side. He's clearly got Clark's attention.

 

"Hold on. You're telling me the Confederation would be part of this? How can you guarantee that?"

 

The tone of Clark's voice changes. It's not a crowded beach, but several people around him have noticed he's having what appears to be a pretty animated conversation. Slightly embarrassed, Clark puts his flip-flops back on, hauls his beach bag over his shoulder, and rises to his full height.

 

"...yeah, listen, can I call you back when I get home? Let's talk more in private about this."

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

[HRTVAndrew]

JANUARY 2020

COTT Emergency Meeting

 

The old adage about wrestling promoters in alliances is that they agree anyone outside their group should be driven out of business, but agree about very little else. This rings true here, as the Confederation of the Territories heavyweights have gathered to discuss a potential new inclusion in the group.

 

Well, that's what SHOULD be happening. So it goes, only Sam Keith and Larry Vessey see fit to make appearances at Smith and Wollensky's flagship New York City steakhouse. The table is set for four, and through a back door walk Pablo Rodriguez and his guest, Clark Alexander. They sit down, but are hardly greeted with a warm reception.

 

"Alright, let's get this over with," Keith says, barely looking up from the menu. "I don't love that we're taking direction from our champion, and I want to make that clear."

 

"You're talent, not the guy in charge," Vessey says between sips from a glass of water he clenches in his giant hands.

 

"Hey, if you don't want me, that's fine," Rodriguez says. "I'll just go back to Mexico and find a way to put those estupidos at South of the Border out of business without you."

 

He has a point. Rodriguez's sudden departure from SOTBPW, and his appearance at the COTT shows, had given the promotions a shot in the arm, if only a short-term one. He thinks the COTT needs him more than he needs them, and he's not wrong.

 

"Alexander, state your case," Keith says, again not making eye contact. "You'll make your pitch. If we like what we hear, we'll vouch for you and the rest of the guys will fall into line."

 

"If we don't, go back to surfing in Hawaii," Vessey grumbles. "And where's the waitress?"

 

"I won't be long," Alexander says, pulling out a flyer he had hastily made and printed at a Staples down the street. It says, in big bold letters, HAWAIIAN PUNCH WRESTLING.

 

"Catchy," Vessey says, finally flagging down a waitress to check on his order.

 

"People in Hawaii want wrestling," Clark continues. "There's been a demand for a regional promotion out there, and if I set something up, I can do things you can't."

 

"Like what?," Keith says, his interest at least somewhat piqued.

 

"Where I'm at, it won't cost quite as much to bring guys in from Japan or Australia," Alexander explains. "I'll be able to fly guys in from the mainland, too. That'll open up some dream matches the average fan won't want to miss, and I know some of your guys want to try new things and get better. This is an easy way to do that."

 

"Easy for you, maybe," Vessey says. "This all sounds great and wonderful, but how is including you going to help us?"

 

Clark can't help but chuckle at the typical "me first" attitude he's seeing from the promoters.

 

"If you told your employees they could get a trip to Hawaii every once in a while," he says with a smirk, "wouldn't that employee be just a little happier and more likely to stay?"

 

Even Vessey and Keith have to admit the upstart owner has a point.

 

"We won't keep our prospects from going to USPW or SWF," Alexander says, "but maybe having another place to work keeps some of them from getting in bed with companies that aren't affiliated with us."

 

There's a pause.

 

"I can't promise you we're going to set the world on fire," Alexander says, finally getting some eye contact. "What I can promise you is, we'll put on good shows every month that have something for everybody. If we start making money, maybe we do two shows a month, but that's pretty far down the road. For now, you can count on someone who knows what it takes to produce good matches doing that, and I think you'd rather have someone like that in the fold than outside of it.

 

"Now...is anyone going to offer me a menu? With all due respect, I didn't come to a New York City steakhouse to watch everyone else eat."

 

Keith hands him one. He and Vessey exchange the same look. Neither is particularly welcoming, but Alexander makes enough sense that they let him in.

 

"So what's your first move?," Keith asks.

 

"Well, I'm getting things up and running later this month," Alexander says. "I'm putting feelers out everywhere. We'll use some of our local guys, for sure, but we want a good mix."

 

"I can help him with some of that," Pablo continues. "I can't make the first show, but I've got no problem with anything else he needs."

 

"You've got no problem with a trip to Hawaii," Vessey grumbles. "Shocker."

 

"Hawaii in February, or New York in February?," Rodriguez counters, in no mood to deal with foul tempers. "Just saying. Clark's got you beat there."

 

Alexander shuffles back in his chair just a bit. He wants no part of this, and thankfully a waitress arrives to take his order. He gives it and exchanges thoughts on booking philosophies (mostly with Keith) as the lunch continues.

 

- - - - -

 

The lunch ends, and Pablo and Clark slip out the back largely undetected. They get in a waiting car to head to the airport, and Clark can't help but feel like he's missing something.

 

"So you and Larry...some tension, huh?"

 

Pablo looks at him.

 

"That obvious?," he says with a smirk. "Look. Larry and Sam...they're fine. They have their territories. They're staying afloat, barely. But they're old-school. They don't like anyone else, they barely tolerate the rest of the bookers, and it's bringing everything else down."

 

A pause.

 

"I don't know how long I'll be on the indies," Pablo continues while looking out the window. "While I'm here, I'd like to feel like I'm making a difference and that I'm with people who know how to make the sauce."

 

"I suppose that makes sense," Clark says. "So is that your plan? Change the way the COTT does business?"

 

"No, no talent can do that," Pablo chuckles. "But maybe you can. Get that business rolling, figure out ways to get it in front of people, and I think you'll have something special."

 

It wasn't long ago Alexander was wondering if his days in wrestling were done. Now, he's preparing to organize his first show, with a roster that's far from a finished product, an alliance that's shaky at best, and a chief ally that seems most interested in stirring the pot and collecting his own paychecks.

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Herrbear]

Nice start. Like to see where this is heading.

[HRTVAndrew]

Nice start. Like to see where this is heading.

 

Much appreciated! Thanks for reading the start.

[Blake Trask]

I've always been fond of Clark, so this is neat!

 

Also enjoy seeing the more curmudgeonly and suspicious characterisation of Sam and Larry - new company to join the COTT setup is always nice for diaries but it's a change of pace for the old hands to be a little more begrudging over the whole thing.

[HRTVAndrew]

WRITER'S NOTE: One of the reasons this took a few days is because I was debating whether or not to set up predictions. Ultimately, I decided not to, at least for the first few shows. It'd be a shot in the dark for everybody, since I haven't even made clear who I'm pursuing/would be pushing, and Hawaii is sort of the forbidden planet in that a lot of U.S.-based popularity doesn't carry over. I'll likely start doing them beginning with a few shows from now.

 

Also, one more item: In the match listings, faces are generally listed first.

 

JANUARY 2020, WEEK THREE

Honolulu, Hawaii

 

It had been a crazy few weeks in the world of professional wrestling. Clark Alexander's announcement of a new promotion in Hawaii that would be affiliated with the Confederation of the Territories got some buzz, but was quickly pushed to the back burner.

 

Jay Chord, one of the biggest stars on the mainland, announced he was going on hiatus. TCW had been counting on the 29-year-old to be a major cornerstone for them, but he'd instead chosen to take his ball and go home. In addition, the indy scene was shaken by news of Tigre Salvaje Jr. storming out of a CZCW show. He'd been one of the COTT's most respected workers, but he's now without a COTT-based contract, and word is he's been put on an alliance-wide "black list" for the short term until tensions begin to ease.

 

Alexander, though, isn't fazed by the lack of attention. In fact, he's thriving on it. It's allowed him to work in the background to sign a mix of talent from all over the world, a group he views with pride as it gets ready for Hawaiian Punch Wrestling's very first show.

 

Calling the bunch "eclectic" would be an understatement. In one corner of the locker room, announcer Quentin Wednesday and color commentator Ford Gumble compare notes. The dueling accents provide a bit of a language barrier that provokes equal parts humor and concern, Alexander thinks, but Wednesday works cheap and Gumble lives nearby.

 

In another sit several independent wrestlers based in Hawaii, ones who'd been looking for a promotion to call home and may have finally found it. In yet another, young guys brought in for an opportunity talk shop with several veterans, signed to be both the backbone of the new promotion and impart wisdom on those Alexander hopes will lead it forward in the coming years.

 

He hears the crowd filing into Jerry's Basement. It's not a large one, to be sure, but it provides the baseline for what Alexander can hope to build on moving forward.

 

"Okay," he says as he hears his music playing. "It's time."

 

HPW Pay The Piper

Location: Jerry's Basement

Attendance: 62

 

ANGLE: Naturally, the first face the fans see is CLARK ALEXANDER, who comes out to a polite reception. He welcomes the fans to a new era in Hawaiian wrestling, and promises them they'll see a quality show each and every month. He's interrupted, though, by AKIMA BRAVE, who says he's come here to conquer the entire roster starting with the biggest name on it. Alexander responds by announcing the night's main event: A four-way match for the HPW World Championship featuring Alexander, Brave, ASH CAMPBELL, and FRANKIE PEREZ. SEGMENT RATING: 36.

 

SINGLES MATCH: Amazing Fire Fly vs. Orange Tsuchie

 

Right off the bat, we get a taste of the matchups Hawaiian Punch Wrestling figures to offer. Here, two of the world's top young high-flyers are sent out to open the show, and while the match is short and Amazing Fire Fly's gimmick falls flat, the action is dazzling. After a back-and-forth match, Amazing Fire Fly gets the duke at 7:43 with a Sky High Fire Fly. MATCH RATING: 59.

 

SINGLES MATCH: Jesse Tasman vs. Penfold Perdition

 

Tasman has the look of a guy who could be somebody, but he's not there yet. Perdition, meanwhile, is extremely limited, but is over with the crowd as a monster heel and is booked accordingly. The match is short, just 4:18, and Perdition squashes Tasman with an Eyebrow Raiser. MATCH RATING: 22.

 

ANGLE: A luxury car pulls up to the building, and out walk FLASH SAVAGE and OZZIE GOLDSTEIN, the reunited CANADIAN BLONDES. They disparage Jerry's Basement and the "heathens" that occupy it, but they're interrupted by a monstrous tour bus containing ROCKIN' RYAN TURNER and STAN MANNA, the ROCK CITY STARS. The two teams confront one another, and security separates them before a challenge is issued...with the vacant HPW Tag Team titles on the line. SEGMENT RATING: 33.

 

SINGLES MATCH: Aldous Blackfriar vs. Americana Jr.

 

HPW trots out two more young guns here, with the difference being that Blackfriar has a bit more "name recognition" than either of the men in the opening match. Americana Jr. is a tremendous prospect, but one that's in need of matches like this to develop his skills and establish him as a player. Blackfriar finishes him at 12:52 with a Batwing. MATCH RATING: 48.

 

TAG TEAM MATCH: Rayne Man and Molokai Milk vs. Ernest Youngman and Xavi Ferrera

 

The bad news is that Youngman and Ferrera have no chemistry. The good news is that these four guys are so good it doesn't matter much. Rayne Man and Molokai Milk are two veteran babyfaces who have no problem giving the young guys some shine. The prospects get plenty of offense in, but it's Rayne Man who gets the win at 12:48, when he pins Ferrera clean. MATCH RATING: 49.

 

ANGLE: In what at least one person hopes is a segment we'll relive for years to come, Ernest Youngman and Xavi Ferrera get their revenge after the match. Two other men jump the barricade and help them beat down Rayne Man and Molokai Milk. As the two veterans writhe around in pain, the newcomers reveal themselves to be DAMIAN DASTARDLY and THE ARCHITECT. Dastardly has a microphone and issues a stern warning: "No matter what anyone else back there things, the future of Hawaiian Punch Wrestling is here in this ring. If anyone has a problem with that, they can try us, but just remember...we're NEXT." SEGMENT RATING: 23.

 

SINGLES MATCH: Cheetah Boy vs. Bull Wrecker

 

Cheetah Boy was one of Clark Alexander's first calls. Every locker room needs a veteran presence in it that can serve a "utility" role, which Cheetah Boy had done with aplomb for years in Mid-Atlantic Wrestling. However, Bull Wrecker has plenty of strong years in front of him to go along with a good look and strong in-ring skills. He pins his veteran opponent cleanly in 13:30 following a Pancake Maker. MATCH RATING: 42.

 

HPW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Rock City Stars vs. The Canadian Blondes

 

The pace is slowed down a bit in this one, as fans are treated to some old-school tag team wrestling between two experienced units. None of these guys are technical wizards, but the psychology is on point as double-teams and ring cut-offs are plentiful. Finally, after a series of spots leave Ryan Turner and Flash Savage alone in the ring, Turner hits a Six String Shooter for the pin and the titles at 17:51. MATCH RATING: 54.

 

ANGLE: As one may figure, the celebration is short-lived. Ryan Turner and Stan Manna get the titles, but the Canadian Blondes aren't done fighting. After a brief scrum, the lights go out. When they come back on, a third team is in the ring...LOGAN WOLFSBAINE and JAMES DIAZ. Wearing shirts that read COUSINS OF DESTRUCTION, Wolfsbaine and Diaz lay waste to both teams quickly, only leaving when it's clear security has them outnumbered. SEGMENT RATING: 26.

 

HPW WORLD TITLE MATCH: Clark Alexander vs. Frankie Perez vs. Akima Brave vs. Ash Campbell

 

While Alexander is clearly the face of the promotion, he's far from the standout in this evenly-booked, four-way go. He does, however, serve as the ring general and the architect of a fun main event, one where all four guys get chances to shine. Ultimately, a risky dive by Perez takes he and Alexander out on the floor. This leaves Akima Brave alone in the ring with Ash Campbell, and Brave hits a Samoan Suplex for the pin and the title at 11:53. MATCH RATING: 55.

 

SHOW RATING: 51.

[HRTVAndrew]

FEBRUARY 2020, WEEK THREE

Honolulu, Hawaii

 

It's mid-afternoon, and Clark Alexander waits outside Jerry's Basement. He's trying to hide a bit beneath a hooded sweatshirt and sunglasses, but he doesn't really need to. Hawaiians know who he is and give him his distance as a black sedan pulls up next to him.

 

A driver pops out and opens the back door, revealing COTT World Champion Pablo Rodriguez. Clark smiles and embraces his friend after he gets his gear from the back seat.

 

"How was your trip?," Clark asks.

 

"Not bad," Pablo says. "This weather...it DOES beat New York this time of year."

 

The two trade knowing smirks as they go inside the building to a secluded dressing room.

 

"All set for tonight?," Pablo says as he begins to lay out his gear.

 

"Yeah, it's a good show, I think," Clark says, massaging his temple a bit. "There was another thing I wanted to talk with you about."

 

Clark pulls a wrinkled piece of paper out from his pocket. It's a press release issued by a company called Wrestleworld, which has announced plans to launch a streaming platform for fans all over the globe in just a few months.

 

"Do you know anything about this?"

 

Pablo reads it, and his crooked smile grows into an ear-to-ear grin.

 

"I think," he says, handing the paper back to the Hawaiian Pro Wrestling booker, "you've found your magic bullet."

 

- - - - -

 

HPW Clampdown

Location: Jerry’s Basement

Attendance: 59

 

ANGLE: Our show begins with a glance at HPW World Champion Akima Brave confidently strolling through the backstage area. He walks into Clark Alexander and begins bragging about his victory, but before too long, in walks PABLO RODRIGUEZ, holding his COTT World Championship. Rodriguez says he came to Hawaii for two reasons: The beach, and to shut Akima up. A match is then made for Rodriguez's belt, and both men smirk as they walk off in opposite directions. SEGMENT RATING: 53.

 

TAG MATCH: FRO SURE and Jesse Tasman vs. The Cousins of Destruction

 

Logan Wolfsbaine and James Diaz looked like world-beaters in January, and they waste no time in their official HPW debut. Fro Sure and Jesse Tasman are solid long-term prospects, but here, they're no more than cannon fodder. Wolfsbaine ultimately pins Fro Sure at 3:50 following a German suplex to cap off a squash match. MATCH RATING: 34.

 

TAG MATCH: Aldous Blackfriar and Amazing Fire Fly vs. The Canadian Blondes

 

This match was booked to give Flash and Ozzie a bit of momentum after their loss in January. They get that here, as Ozzie pins Fire Fly in 9:41 following the most unfortunately-named finisher in wrestling, the Golden Shower (we MUST rename that). However, the real story is that Blackfriar and Fire Fly showed excellent chemistry teaming with one another. Hmm... MATCH RATING: 55.

 

ANGLE: Immediately following the bell, Penfold Perdition makes his way to ringside. The Canadian Blondes tremble, but it's soon shown to be a ruse: He's come to destroy Aldous Blackfriar and Amazing Fire Fly, which he does with a pair of gigantic splashes. The heels then cackle all the way to the backstage area. SEGMENT RATING: 30.

 

SINGLES MATCH: DEADLY DEADSHOT vs. Damian Dastardly

 

Someone in the audience joked that this couldn't be on the marquee outside because nobody had enough D's for the sign. Kidding aside, this turns out to be a fine, up-tempo match between two young upstarts. They make the most of their limited time, and Dastardly makes his in-ring debut a winning one with a pin at 7:44 following a Dastardly Cunning. MATCH RATING: 52.

 

ANGLE: A smirking Damian Dastardly signals to the back, and out run his Next buddies: Ernest Youngman, The Architect, and Xavi Ferrera. The crowd boos lustily, but the 4-on-1 beatdown doesn't last long, as Frankie Perez runs out wielding a chair! Next scatters, and Frankie yells out an open challenge to any of them. Youngman steps into the ring, and away we go! SEGMENT RATING: 28.

 

SINGLES MATCH: Frankie Perez vs. Ernest Youngman

 

This isn't rocket science: If you instruct two of the best workers available to have a great match, chances are they will. That's what happens here, as Perez and Youngman go all-out for nearly 13 minutes and delight the crowd with a mix of chain wrestling and brutal strikes. The fans finally get a chance to cheer at 12:46, when The Architect attempts to interfere after a ref bump but decks Youngman with brass knuckles instead. Perez clears the ring, locks in the P-Clutch, and earns a submission victory. MATCH RATING: 63.

 

HPW TAG TITLES MATCH: The Rock City Stars © vs. The Architect and Xavi Ferrera

 

We may as well use the rest of Next while they're out here, right? Turner and Manna arrive to a nice pop and wrestle accordingly as the conquering, title-holding babyfaces. The young guys wrestle valiantly and pull out plenty of dirty tricks, but Manna ultimately pins The Architect at 12:50 following a Cover Version. MATCH RATING: 52.

 

COTT WORLD TITLE MATCH: Pablo Rodriguez © vs. Akima Brave

 

Smartly, plenty of time is left for the main event, and it doesn't disappoint the small crowd that came to see the show. Rodriguez and Brave throw big strikes at one another for more than 20 minutes, with the crowd buying into most near-falls. Finally, Rodriguez counters Brave's Samoan suplex and works it into a Sinner's Salvation, which plants Brave into the mat just long enough for a three-count at 23:14. MATCH RATING: 60.

 

ANGLE: A weary Pablo Rodriguez celebrates with his championship belt before staring down Akima Brave, who has risen to his feet. Rodriguez, clearly winded, offers a handshake. Brave takes it...but it is, of course, a ruse. Brave pummels Rodriguez in a fit of rage, which brings out Clark Alexander, who attempts to stop the assault. Alexander, though, gets knocked to the ground, and can only watch as Brave puts Rodriguez through a table at ringside. SEGMENT RATING: 63.

 

SHOW RATING: 59.