ZEN: Boston - Are You Not Entertained? (Cverse2022)

[Pteroid]

ZEN: The Art of Grappling

MAIN EVENT
MAMMOTH'S BIG MAN BIG MATCH BIG MAIN EVENT
STIPULATION & PARTICIPANTS TBD

THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS A-MAZE-ING GRACE & CARRIE RUSSELL

CRASH TEST VS SWASHBUCKLER

BROOKLYN'S FINEST VS THE EASY RIDERS

MELANCHOLY MOLLY & MIKE FUNK VS SAMHAIN & GLITCH

[KyTeran]

MAIN EVENT
MAMMOTH'S BIG MAN BIG MATCH BIG MAIN EVENT
STIPULATION & PARTICIPANTS TBD

THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS A-MAZE-ING GRACE & CARRIE RUSSELL

CRASH TEST VS SWASHBUCKLER

BROOKLYN'S FINEST VS THE EASY RIDERS

MELANCHOLY MOLLY & MIKE FUNK VS SAMHAIN & GLITCH

[Pteroid]

ZEN: Art of Grappling
Attendance: 515
Viewers: 95,124 On The ZEN Network

The show kicked off with ZEN: Saskatoon's own Mammoth on the ZENTRON 9TRILLION declaring that just like what he wrote on the napkin he gave the Newswire he was a BIG MAN who wanted a BIG MATCH in the BIG MAIN EVENT of Art of Grappling and what match could be bigger...THAN A BATTLE ROYAL!? Tonight 20 ZEN Luchadors would face off in a battle royal with the last man standing moving on to the Scramble Match! Rob and Mac discussed the possibilities of who could come out of such a match with a place in the scramble match, if last week was a high stakes poker game this week was a full on lottery and it was only the second week of the qualifiers!

MELANCHOLY MOLLY & MIKE FUNK VS SAMHAIN & GLITCH
Informally christened 'Mike 'n Molly' by Mac Smith, the tecnico duo in this bout had their work cut out for them against the imposing Samhain and erratic gremlin known as Glitch. Sadly for the tecnicos, the sons of The Outrageous Arona were keen to get back in their dad-mom's good graces by scoring a win and they were willing to do whatever it took to get that done. So keen for this were they that when it looked like Mike Funk was going to get the hot tag to Molly, Samhain yanked her off the apron and clocked Mike in the face as he leaned out of the ring in despair. Dazed and staggering back into the center of the ring, Funk the Glitch in the Matrix meteora for the emphatic three count victory for the rudo pair.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: SAMHAIN & GLITCH

Post-match Arona made his way down to the ring, all smiles and applause for his boys. Grabbing a microphone Arona directed them to grab Funk and Molly and drag them into the ring, holding them in place as Arona casually bootscraped across their faces while loudly demanding his father make his way to the ring or allow the two fallen tecnicos suffer more punishment. He explained that he allowed a chance at glory to slip through his fingers last week and he knew that if Cheetah Boy had a chance he'd make sure to screw over his flesh and blood tonight so he wanted CB to come down here and presumably catch a beating to take him out of the equation for the main event. After a few moments of silence, Arona got his wish as CB stepped out onto the stage...

And was joined by The Golden Glory! Fox and Pig nodded to the other animal-themed luchador and all three hit the ring with a speed that made Arona immediately get out of the dodge, soon followed by his sons as the tecnico trio checked on the fallen pair. Arona glared as he made his retreat, now knowing that his father had replaced one ally with two...

BROOKLYN'S FINEST VS THE EASY RIDERS
Back for a second shot at making their names in ZEN: Boston, The Easy Riders of Torque and Asphalt took on the only Yankees welcome in Boston in Brooklyn's Finest. Taking a more conventional rudo approach this go around, Torque & Asphalt attempted to isolate Hawkeye in their corner of the ring and showed off an impressive array of roughneck offense culiminating in an atomic drop combined with a running big boot to secure a very close nearfall on the baseballman. However, you can't keep a good man down and Hawkeye managed to dodge a double clothesline from his foes and dive into his corner for a tag to Eagle who climbed to the top rope and delivered flying shoulderblock to both men. 

Proceeding to run wild with that classic babyface fire, Eagle nearly got in pinfall with a big diving elbow onto Torque that Asphalt managed to break up. However, as Torque rolled out of the ring, Asphalt was made the legal man via lucha rules and that came into play as Hawkeye Calhoun waylaid him with a back drop before setting him up in the tree of woe! Running the bases, Hawkeye smashed Asphalt with a baseball slide that carried him to the outside to clock a recovering Torque with a right hand! Back in the ring, Asphalt writhed in pain and rolled right into the center, leaving him wide open to a flying body splash by Eagle for the three count!

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: BROOKLYN'S FINEST

Backstage QT PI's investigation into the strange goings on continued as she interviewed Lady Devonshyre and Kashmir Singh. Or rather, she interviewed Deovnshyre as Singh atttempted to give 'sensible' explanations for everything. Devonshyre described a hideous unsightly beast shambling about in the dark corners of the building, horrid to look upon and nauseous to smell, gibbering in a tongue she couldn't dare place as being any earthly language. Singh shook his head, declaring her ladyship had been reading too much P.H Hateknack lately and it was getting to her while QT thanked her for her description and time. Devonshyre, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief, asked if QT had a clue what was happening and was assured by the brainiac that her theories were beginning to bear fruit...ugly stinky fruit, but fruit nonetheless.

CRASH TEST VS SWASHBUCKLER
A high-flying contest between the younger of the tag team champs Swashbuckler and the ever-reckless Crash Test saw Buckler have the support of Cap'n Crush and the stuffed parrot (who apparently has received the name 'Swabby') at ringside who shouted loud abrasive trashtalk at the tecnico...well one shouted, the other loudly repeated like the last three words every time. We'll let you guess which did which. Buckle didn't really seem to need the cheer section as he handily went to town on his fellow luchador enmascarado but that didn't stop Crush from flippantly tripping the tecnico up off an irish whip and getting ejected (though the parrot was allowed to perch on the apron and stay) before Buckler hit the -ahem-

"SWASH! BUCKLE! SUPLEX!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK SWASHBUCKLE SUPLEX!"

For the pinfall victory.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: SWASHBUCKLER

As Buckler celebrated his victory with Swabby, the camera cut to the back where Robbie Wright was hanging out with Ash Barnaby and Zach Rudge in the Frat's private locker room. As the trio shared a round of beers (non-alcoholic, lucha responsibly kids), Ade Nelson entered the room announcing that he was bringing along someone who could help them in the battle royale which Robbie was eager to meet until it turned out to be Pumpkin Jack. King of Charisma and the Tricky Treat glared at one another as Ade obliviously noted that they needed everyone that hated 'Old Man Hazzard' as possible in the Scramble Match and an alliance tonight would almost guarantee one of them winning the battle royal. Robbie dismissed the idea out of hand, telling Ade that they didn't need the help of a guy who failed to gain the ZEN Conqueror, only for Jack to shoot back that Robbie had failed twice now causing Wright to round on him and put a finger in his face before Nelson and House Party pulled their leader away. Jack shook his head and thanked Nelson for his invitation but clearly he would need to stand alone tonight, proceeding to walk out as Wright shook himself free and gave the other members of the Frat a look.

THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS A-MAZE-ING GRACE & CARRIE RUSSELL
A brand new team in the land of ZEN (one could say thrown together), Grace and Russell had a novel strategy for their debut bout. That strategy was Russell using her smaller partner as a bludgeon to beat the living crap out of Phantom and Poltergeist. This worked rather well at first with her keeping both of the Ghosts on the backfoot, but the obvious problem of using your partner to damage your opponents is that you're damaging your partner as well, which meant when the Ghosts caught Grace off an 'assisted' suicide dive and deposited him in the front row...well a tag match rapidly became a handicap. Without anyone to support her efforts, Russell rapidly fell victim to the Heaven's Crash and paid for her hubris with a pinfall.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION

Prior to our main event, T-Bone Tucker was seen in the back, looking quite a bit more disheveled than he did as the bodyguard of Modern Justice. Stepping up towards the Modern Justice locker room, he knocked on the door and was met by Ollie Basham who glared at the world's smallest big man and demanded to know what he wanted. Tucker wanted to plead his case to Century, he claimed he knew nothing of what American Justice was going to do or that he even had anything against Modern Justice in the first place, having never so much as talk to the masked man. Basham rolled his eyes and told Tucker nobody's going to buy his god awful excuses and that everyone saw him bring the ref back in time for Justice to do what he did, so he should just do everyone a favor and find himself a new line of work. This caused Tucker to screw his face up and point at Basham...

"You told me to do the thing with the water, though!"

Basham abruptly slammed the door in Tucker's face and the shades-wearing tough guy folded his arms and walked away, a grimace on his face...

MAIN EVENT BATTLE ROYALE!
PARTICIPANT ROLL CALL!
ASH BARNABY, ADE NELSON, ROBBIE WRIGHT, ZACH RUDGE, BRADLEY BLAZE, BIG HOSS, DEADLY DEADSHOT, PUMPKIN JACK, THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA, THE GOLDEN PIG, THE GOLDEN FOX, CHEETAH BOY, SUPREME YOSHIDA, DIAMOND DEUCE, TYRONE GRAY, CAP'N CRUSH, SWASHBUCKLER, KASHMIR SINGH, LADY DEVONSHYRE, & STEREO

As the bell sounded for Big Mammoth Big Battle Royale, Arona decided to throw in his lot with the Regulators...by which we mean he dove behind Big Hoss and pointed at his father and Golden Glory while screaming "GET HIM, COWBOY MAN!" This had...the opposite effect as basically everyone else excluding his stablemates had their attention turned and realized Hoss was the one to beat while Hoss himself turned and started strangling the Outrageous One. Cheetah Boy was the first to fly across the ring to slam a forearm into the back of Big Hoss (ironically saving his son) as a flood of other roster members joined in on the beatdown while the Frat opted on ganging up on Blaze and Deadshot to keep them from running interference. Hoss eventually SHOVED his assailants back and began running roughshod, smashing anyone he could get his hands on with hammerfists that probably felt like getting hit with the real thing and grabbing both Singh and Devonshyre for a meeting of the minds that sent them both stumbling back and over the ropes the sheer crush of humanity had pulled down!

SINGH AND DEVONSHYRE ELIMINATED


"YOU SUCK RICH LADY AND BORING MAN!"

As Big Hoss threatened to turn back around to rejoin his stablemates, SUPREME Yoshida stepped forward and...called for the GIANT CHOKE SLAM!? Goozling the biggest man in the ring, she...utterly failed to lift him as he looked down at her with bemusement. Looking around, Yoshida began calling on the power of Eric And/Or Richard Eisen for help, which didn't help even a little but what did was Tyrone Gray, Diamond Deuce, and Stereo stepping in for a QUADRUPLE GIANT CHOKESLAM on Hoss! As the four stood over the fallen cowboy, Yoshida began attempting to convert her newfound allies to Eisenism to...less than positive results as Gray and Stereo grabbed her by the headband and tossed her out of the ring!

SUPREME YOSHIDA ELIMINATED


"YOU SUCK YOSHIDA!"

As the anti-Hoss alliance began to break down, the Legends of the Sea attempted to pounce on Pumpkin Jack and begin beating the ZEN Icon down. Rob and Mac speculated they were attempting to make a name for themselves in this match by eliminating a name like Jack, but the former ZEN Master champ thought quickly and tossed the wig off a cowering Arona's head into Swashbuckler's face to blind him! Showing his superior ring awareness he kept himself on the side of Crush's face that had the eyepatch until the Cap'n got frustrated and switched the eye he had it on in time to see a fist coming at his face! Meanwhile to the distress of almost everyone, Big Hoss was back up and very very angry, intercepting the Golden Glory as they attempted to go after Arona and clotheslining both over the top rope!

THE GOLDEN GLORY ELIMINATED


"YOU SUCK BARN ANIMALS!"

Knowing that if Hoss got a head of steam everyone would be in serious trouble, Cheetah Boy attempted to go after Hoss again but this time Arona stepped in and grabbed his father to reroute his momentum to go flying onto his allies!

CHEETAH BOY ELIMINATED


"YOU SUCK, PAPA! HAHAHA-GACK!"

Arona's nigh on constant gloating at whoever got eliminated finally came back to bite him as he ate a right hand from Stereo who began beating him across the ring before booting him in the belly and going to bounce off the ropes for the Emancipation Proclamation-but found Arona's head rammed into his belly by Big Hoss, who proceeded to lift Stereo onto his shoulder and begin spinning around to FLOOR everyone he possibly could, including his own stablemates! With the field on their backs, Hoss lifted Stereo over his head and approached the ropes to dispose of him...but Stereo began throwing punches to the face of the big man, managing to wriggle free and land on the apron. Sensing the opportunity to go for a Hip Hop Drop, he began to move towards the nearest corner-

-Only to run into a clothesline from Big Hoss, causing Stereo to flop to the apron and out onto the floor!

STEREO ELIMINATED


"Haaaaahhhh...serves ya...ya right...you sssssuuuuuck Stereooooo..."

As Hoss broke off to try and get Blaze and Deadshot back in the game, The Legends (Swashbuckler inexplicably now WEARING Arona's wig) again attempted to pounce on someone, this time Robbie Wright who they stomped into the mat with all their might. However, Wright had considerably more back up than Jack and Ade Nelson tried to get them off his friend only to catch some fists himself and a superkick from Swashbuckler! Sensing the chance to put one of the leading wrestlers in ZEN on the mat with authority, Crush called for the Walk the Plank, pulling Nelson up into the Spinebuster position as Swashbuckler scurried over to begin walking the ropes...which he regretted when Barnaby and Rudge shook them and left him to fall crotch first onto the top one! With the crowd cheering them on they began shaing the ropes further to give Buckler the most torturous pony ride of his life as the wig bounced up and down on his head until they let up and left him to fall onto the apron. This was when Arona swooped in, swiped his wig bag, and shoved him to the floor.

SWASHBUCKLER ELIMINATED


"GIMME THAT! YOU SUCK, SEA THIEF!"

Luckily for Arona, House Party had different fish to fry as Crush kept waiting for the leaping leg lariat of his tag partner until he got frustrated and turn around to find himself staring at two very amused Fratboys. He barely gets a chance to gasp before House Party hit a double superkick right to the face which made him release Nelson and stumble into the ropes and back for a triple back body drop that led him to FLATTEN Swashbuckler on the outside!

CAP'N CRUSH ELIMINATED!


"YOU TOO, SECOND SEA THIEF!"

The Frat turned to audience to celebrate this elimination-when they found someone else had made his way out to the ring as Duke Hazzard was ranting at the bros while waving his cigar around. They taunted the Sheriff, all three making belt motions...until Blaze, Deadshot, and Hoss assaulted from behind and dumped the trio to a chorus of boos!

BARNABY, RUDGE, & NELSON ELIMINATED


"YEEEEEES! AWAY TO JAM WITH JOCKS IN THE GREAT BEYOND! YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU-Oh hello!"

Arona's ranting was cut off by Blaze, Deadshot, and Hoss staring at him. The Outrageous one immediately began begging off until he bumped into the chest of Robbie Wright, who he turned into and immediately begged off from again as Tyrone Gray and Diamond Deuce stepped up to his side for a tecnico/rudo staredown with Arona caught in the middle -until Pumpkin Jack cut through the line and dropkicked the Outrageous one clear into a corner and both sides began going after each other! Blaze and Wright traded bombs in the center as Gray & Deuce's rivalry-turned-friendship-turned team up attempted to deal with Hammer & Scalpel! At ringside an understandably angry Frat chased Duke Hazzard to the back as Pumpkin Jack chased Arona to the top rope only to take multiple forearm shots and fall back, his legs hooked around the top rope with his upper body sticking out like a sore thumb. Arona attempted to make him even more sore with a double stomp that-Jack avoided by flattening himself back against the turnbuckle! Arona landed hard and stumbled forward into the middle of the slugfest in the middle of the ring, getting battered by all sides before stumbling back into the ropes just as Jack slithered onto them and held them down for him to flop over and onto the floor!

ARONA ELIMINATED


"Wh...n...nooooo...I suck!? NOOOOOOOO!"

Tearing at his wig, Arona stormed to the back with a distraught look on his face. With that annoyance dealt with, Jack took a breather as Wright and Blaze clocked one another hard enough to fall into opposite corners and the spotlight went on Deuce & Gray vs Hammer & Scalpel. Tyrone Gray blitzed Deadshot with some swift lowkicks, delivering a chop to the crook of Deadshot's arm  to block a swing before clocking him with a knee to the chin that sent him sprawling into a third corner. Knowing they weren't going to get a better chance, Gray and Deuce (who had been playing cat and mouse with hoss) teamed up to smash the big man with shots to the legs to try and wear him down, forcing the mercenary to one knee as Deuce took point, going to drag Hoss to the remaining free corner and attempt a tornado ddt-that got blocked! Hoss yanked Deuce onto his shoulders and blasted Gray with a headbutt as he came running in, Hoss then nodded to a recovered Deadshot who climbed his corner as Hoss got into position and Deadshot leapt to double stomp the back of Deuce before hitting a second double stomp to the body of Gray on the mat as Hoss hit his big F-5 on Deuce! Together the two men gathered Deuce off the mat and tossed his limp body out of the ring.

DIAMOND DEUCE ELIMINATED

Directing traffic, Deadshot pointed out Pumpkin Jack to his partner, telling Hoss to take care of the recovering masked man while he eliminated Gray. This however was his undoing as Gray retained enough wherewithal to suddenly switch their momentums and toss Deadshot out instead!

DEADLY DEADSHOT ELIMINATED

As Big Hoss went to grab Pumpkin Jack from the apron, the Tricky Treat leapt for a springboard Superman punch that rocked the biggest man in the match and sent him staggering into a dropkick from Tyrone Gray! Gray, seeing the big man struggling, went to bounce off the ropes -but found them dragged down from the outside by Deadshot!

TYRONE GRAY ELIMINATED

Deadshot put the boots to the disoriented Gray, even slamming him with a running kick to the face! He seemed poised to do even more damage when Diamond Deuce intervened and sent the mercenary retreating to the back. With nothing left for it, Deuce helped his friend away from the ring as well, looking angry at the goings on. Back in the ring our final four saw the united front of the remaining Regulators against two men with severe animosity for each other. Jack kept on Big Hoss, pounding at him with lefts and rights before switching to harsh mongolian chops and finishing up with a rolling elbow that put the big man on his back. Jack got little time to rest, however, as he was waylaid by Bradley Blaze and smashed to the mat with a bulldog! Turning his attention back to Robbie Wright, Blaze was met with a flurry of punches on his way back up from the bulldog that worked him back into a corner. Wright tried to use the corner to hook him up for the Wright Move but as he got him up, he found himself tripping over Pumpkin Jack as the disoriented ZEN Icon tried to regain his sense on hands and knees, really only hitting a suplex on the Dallas Cowboy.

Scrambling up, Wright got in Jack's face, angrily demanding to know what the Tricky Treat thought what he was doing. Jack's hand shot out and grabbed Wright by the throat, clearly losing any patience he had with the leader of the Frat. The two men began trading hands as the crowd went wild, rights connnecting as they grabbed at each other's hair/mask for leverage, it seemed for a moment like Big Hoss was going to break up this party by grabbing them both but the smaller men without missing a beat hit simultaneous headbutts that sent him into the ropes! If only to eliminate an obstacle to their own fight, Jack and Robbie hit stereo dropkicks to Hoss and sent him tumbling out of the ring, eliminated finally. 

BIG HOSS ELIMINATED

With that finally done with, Jack and Robbie set their sights back on each other, brawling with ferocity but not seeing what else was going on in the far side of the ring as Duke Hazzard had returned, apparently having juked the Frat backstage and he wasn't alone as Harry Allen was with him looking perturbed as the two spoke with Bradley Blaze and Hazzard began gesturing at Allen's belt. The champion held it close to him but Hazzard demanded he hand it to Blaze and Allen reluctantly did so. Meanwhile Jack ducked a clothesline from Robbie and back body dropped him over the ropes and onto the apron! There Wright kept a deathgrip on the ropes with one arm as Jack and he kept trading blows one after the other in a struggle to avoid elimination when-

Bradley Blaze smashed the ZEN Conqueror belt into the upper back of Jack causing him to lurch bodily into Wright and send him to the outside!

ROBBIE WRIGHT ELIMINATED!

Then it was just a simple matter of lifting up Jack and tossing him out as well and we had ourselves a winner...

PUMPKIN JACK ELIMINATED

THE WINNER AND ADVANCING TO THE SCRAMBLE MATCH:
BRADLEY BLAZE

On the outside Wright understandably recovered before Jack and looked keen to continue their brawl when the Frat arrived on the scene to pull him away. Robbie looked ready to argue with them when Ade pointed out that the exact opposite of what they wanted happened as in the ring Bradley Blaze celebrated with Duke Hazzard, holding up the ZEN Conqueror title. As Wright led his brothers away from the ring, a different drama occurred inside it as Harry Allen swiftly yanked the title from Blaze's hand and began laying into him for posing with it. Blaze shrugged, looking to a perturbed Duke Hazzard who tried to calm his champion, but Allen slipped out of the ring, hugging his title to his chest. Hazzard screwed up his face but was pulled into another celebratory pose by Blaze, both cowboys holding up their hats as Rob and Mac wonder if this will be the scene at the end of the scramble match and Art of Grappling goes off the air...

[Pteroid]

THE ZEN NEWSWIRE

BLAZE JOINS PI & ALLEN IN SCRAMBLE MATCH AS EGUCHI PROMISES 'AMAZING' CONCEPT FOR NEXT ART OF GRAPPLING
Victorious in the Mammoth Battle Royale, the Dallas Cowboy Bradley Blaze has officially joined QT PI and ZEN Conqueror Champion Harry Allen in the Scramble Match set for United States of Mayhem. Some would say that the match was more or less gifted to him by Sheriff Duke Hazzard forcing Harry Allen to give Blaze the Conqueror belt to use as a weapon but there's no DQ's in a battle royale (especially with Hazzard in charge) so the decision stands. However on the horizon is the match set by ZEN: Yamaguchi's Eguchi The Amazing Councilperson and through translator Haley Buck he has demanded Duke Hazzard and the entire roster be present for when he announces it live on Art of Grappling. What is the former comedian planning? Find out on Art of Grappling!

CHEETAH BOY TAKES GOLDEN GLORY UNDER HIS WING?
Fans were surpised when a hostage situation orchestrated by the Outrageous Arona to lure his father Cheetah Boy into a beatdown was answered not just by CB but by the superhero duo of the Golden Pig and Fox. Catching up with CB and GG post-show, newswire reporters confirmed that CB had approached the youngsters after their loss to the Legends of the Sea in the Tortuga Street Fight and offered to give them his tutelage to bring them back on their game. What will the future hold for these two young men under the guidance of such a traveled veteran? Only time will tell!

A-MAZE-ING GRACE DEMANDS SECOND MATCH WITH STEREO, CHAMP UNAMUSED
Noted rookie Luchador A-MAZE-ING Grace (known for his iconic mask and...lopsided win/loss record) has come out demanding a second match against Right to Party Holder Stereo on Art of Grappling. Declaring that after seeing the champ's performance in the Mammoth Battle Royale he has Stereo's moveset completely figured out, Grace is confident he can topple Stereo and secure for himself a Right to Party match. Stereo for his part wasn't keen to beat down on 'that restaurant kid's tray-looking dingus' again when he still hadn't gotten his hands on American Justice but agreed to it just to take out some frustrations.

[Pteroid]

ZEN: THE ART OF GRAPPLING

MAIN EVENT
EGUCHI'S AMAZING SCRAMBLE QUALIFICATION MATCH!

QT PI VS BRADLEY BLAZE

THE GOLDEN PIG VS THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA

STEREO VS A-MAZE-ING GRACE

TYRONE GRAY VS KASHMIR SING

THREE-WAY ELIMINATION MATCH
WINNERS RECEIVE KINSHIP TITLE SHOT
BROOKLYN'S FINEST VS THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS SAMHAIN & GLITCH

[KyTeran]

MAIN EVENT
EGUCHI'S AMAZING SCRAMBLE QUALIFICATION MATCH!

QT PI VS BRADLEY BLAZE

THE GOLDEN PIG VS THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA

STEREO VS A-MAZE-ING GRACE

TYRONE GRAY VS KASHMIR SING

THREE-WAY ELIMINATION MATCH
WINNERS RECEIVE KINSHIP TITLE SHOT
BROOKLYN'S FINEST VS THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS SAMHAIN & GLITCH

[Pteroid]

Full disclosure, got some obligations for the next couple days so don't expect the next show until around sunday/monday

[Pteroid]

Apologies on the radio silence, got caught up in a little creative endeavor. Gonna get back on this as soon as possible

[Pteroid]

ZEN: The Art of Grappling
Attendance: 535
Viewers: 108,283 On The ZEN Network

The show began with Duke Hazzard coming out on stage in front of the entire locker room including his Regulators in the ring. Rob and Mac explained that this was apparently arranged by Eguchi of ZEN: Yamaguchi ahead of 'AMAZING' qualifer match announcement. As Hazzard took out a microphone and demanded Eguchi show himself, he was greeted by Eguchi on the big screen along with his interpreter Haley Buck who translated the words of the councilman...

"Eguchi's match is the most amazing because everything Eguchi does is the most amazing! Eguchi has the most amazing concepts! The most amazing ideas! The most amazing-"


"WILL YEW GIT ON WITH IT!?"

"...ok! Eguchi says...WHOEVER PINS HAZZARD BEFORE THE NIGHT IS THROUGH GETS IN THE MATCH!"

"WHAT!?!?!?!?"

"...and I guess if he doesn't get pinned he gets to choose who to put in there himself. Fat chance. HAPPY HUNTING!"

There was a moment of silence...then all of the roster fell on the Regulators in a mass beatdown before turning their attention to Hazzard, who began backing away.

"N-now listen here ya'll, ya may think this is funny now but when ahm still Sheriff ah WILL re...mem...ber...this? Aw shucks, SCREW YOU EGUCHIIIIIII!"

Hazzard fled to the back with most of the roster chasing him, the Regulators limping after and only the competitors for the opening match forced to stay behind (what with the match having Kinship belt implications).

THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS BROOKLYN'S FINEST VS SAMHAIN AND GLITCH

Each of these teams were not working by the hour for two big reasons: One, a quick finish meant they could join in on the hunt for Hazzard going on backstage. Two, Samhain and Glitch absolutely needed to back up their Father-Mother Arona in said hunt. Thankfully the two tecnico duos were happy to oblige their need when the Ghosts hit Heaven's Crash on Glitch and eliminated the rudos first. From there the All-American pair and their ghostly foes had a high-octane (if completely clean) bout that eventually saw Freedom Eagle take a second Heaven's Crash for the Ghosts to continue building their momentum.

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION

Backstage Duke Hazzard's flight was suddenly blocked by Jay Fair, who looked smug as can be at this turn of events after what happened at United States of Shamrocks. Hazzard snarled at the senior official before breaking into a smirk of his own.

"Don't yew gimme that look. It's just yew and that girl on the payroll, two people cain't be anywhere! All ah gotta do is avoid yew two and ahm golden!"

Fair's smirk only grew as he lifted a hand and snapped his fingers.

Hazzard's jaw dropped as a veritable zebra (the collective noun for a group of refs) showed up behind Jay, who explained Eguchi made certain to fly his brothers and sisters in officiating in to make sure if someone took out Hazzard tonight, someone WOULD be there to count the pin. Hazzard's eye twitched-

"HE'S OVER HERE GET HIM!"

-but any retort he could give was cut off into a shrill yelp as several of the roster came running down the hall, jockeying for position to try and get at him first. The referees gave one another a nod each and spread out to ensure a sufficiently dragnet should a pin occur in the building...

TYRONE GRAY VS KASHMIR SINGH
High Energy came into this match not working by the hour, and Singh came in actively trying to keep his tag partner from obliviously paying Gray by the hour. This ended about as well as you could expect for the long-suffering veteran as he succeeded in yanking away a handful of cash from Devonshyre...only for said dolla dolla bills to go flying everywhere when he took the Tumbleweed from Tyrone. Tyrone made a few poses for the crowd before Diamond Deuce came running down and hurriedly gestured for his rival-turned-friend to come to the back and rejoin the merry chase.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: TYRONE GRAY

The cameras caught up with The Outrageous Arona in the car park backstage as he was seemingly lying in wait to ambush Duke, the camera drifted off to the side show the sight of...a limo of all things rolling in.

"Do not look upon the extravagant conveyance, foolish cameraman, look upon my soon to be triumph!"

Successfully chided, the camera turned its attention back to Arona crouched next to a dumpster like a pervert only registering the sound of the limo door opening and closing as a set of footsteps grew closer.

Voice:
"Yo my man, you see a fella named Hazzard around anywhere?"

Arona turned and hissed...no like literally hissed at the offscreen interloper.

Arona:
"Do not distract me! The title shot is mine, you disco-haired dingbat! Mine!"

Voice:
"Whooooa, okay starshine, no need to bite my head off. Yo by the way, Animal Farm over there's got an eye on you and I'm thinkin' they about to go Orwellian on yo-"

"GET HIM!"

Arona:
"OH NO! THE CHASER HAS BECOME THE CHASED! FLEE WITH ME CAMERAMAN!"

Arona drags the camera operator off, the shot only getting a brief glimpse at the suit our newcomer is wearing as they look back to get a glimpse of Cheetah Boy and the Golden Glory running after Arona.

Another cut backstage found another altercation underway as Pumpkin Jack dodged a garbage can shot from Robbie Wright in what was clearly a pick up from their fight at the end of last week's show. Robbie's brothers in the Frat were nowhere to be seen as both men laid into each other with repeated shots before Wright football tackled Jack through a door into a nearby restroom. The girlish scream from inside seemed to indicate it was the Women's room but it soon became apparent Duke Hazzard was the culprit as he daintily leaped over both men before screaming for his boys in the Regulators to come help him. This only got more roster members on his tail causing him to continue running for his life as we cut back for our next match.

STEREO VS A-MAZE-ING GRACE

Grace looked anxious coming into this one considering he'd given up on catching Hazzard without realizing it, he then looked unconscious as he got smashed with an Emancipation Proclamation from the Right to Party Holder who was having NONE of the masked man's antics.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: STEREO

Stereo took a microphone and declared he had no intention of going after Hazzard tonight because he had his own issues to deal with. He called out American Justice, the man who got in his business at United States of Shamrocks and turned what should've been a victory for party people everywhere into a confusing mess of conspiracies and cracked sternums. Stereo threw out the challenge, he wanted Justice at United States of Fools and he was willing to put up the Right to Party to make it happen. He threw down the mic and went to the back, passing a limping Grace on the way...who immediately got bowled over by Arona who was running for his life to the ring from Cheetah Boy and his new allies.

THE GOLDEN PIG VS THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA

With his family nowhere to be found, Arona spent the early goings of this match on the backstep as Pig blitzed him with high-speed manuevers. With CB and Fox at ringside to screen any attempts to flee, Arona's original attempts to flee the ring were met with a pseudo-lumberjack match response, getting tossed right back in. However, it wasn't long before A-Maze-Ing Grace -apparently blaming the tecnicos for his earlier fall- got involved and shoved CB, allowing Arona to slip out of the ring and ambush Fox to try and get some breathing room. Seeing a chance to fly, Pig leapt onto the top rope and went for a springboard shooting star press onto the melee...that Arona dodged away from at the last moment. Picking the bones of the carnage, the Outrageous One grabbed Pig up from the ground and smashed him face first into a ringpost before throwing him in the ring for a follow up piledrive that left him wide open for a moonsault senton that saw the rudo get the victory, leaving Pig down and out for CB and Fox to tend to as he escaped.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA

Catching up with Duke Hazzard, the cameras caught him stumbling into a side room, panting and groaning...then he realized who he was sharing it with.

"Ah, Mr. Hazzard, I have been expecting you."

Hazzard desperately tried to turn around and escape the room but SUPREME Yoshida gently took him by the shoulders and led him back in, assuring Duke he had nothing to fear. Eisenism, it turns out, had nothing but respect for authority figures (especially the corrupt ones) and she had prepared a ritual that would ensure no ambushing heathen would defeat him this night. She played relaxing music and told Hazzard to free his mind as she slipped away from view...
 

Hazzard yelped in terror as the theme song of the Frat jolted him out of whatever relaxation he was experiencing as he was suddenly rolled up by Yoshida! Pee-Wee Germaine of CZCW fame dove in and started the count!

1! 2!

Hazzard kicked out, screamed that Yoshida was crazy and threw himself out the door to continue running! Germaine shrugged and told Yoshida better luck next time but the High Priestess of Eisenism was crying with an awed smile on her face.

"He kicked out of the surprise theme song roll up. Truly he is blessed by Richard."

Germaine shrugged and we cut to our main event of the night...

QT PI VS BRADLEY BLAZE

This match had two things that made Bradley Blaze angry in its. 1) The fact that he was out here and not bodyguarding Duke Hazzard meant potentially anyone could take the next spot in the scramble match. 2) Harry Allen was at ringside when he SHOULD have been helping Hazzard out. Blaze made his distaste for Allen interfering in his business known from the jump and that allowed QT PI to get some very good early shots in on the Dallas Cowboy while showing her own disdain for the man who got her girlfriend banished from ZEN. With the champion leaned against a ring barrier with his hat brim down low, QT's early advantage was halted by a rake to the eyes from Blaze who proceeded to take great pleasure in giving the Brainiac Belle a crash course in weardown holds and brutal slams. Setting up a Dallas Drop DDT, Blaze suddenly found himself caught with an inside cradle for a nearfall that he kicked out of...directly into the PI's Paradox!

With Allen smirking at ringisde, Blaze barely managed a rope break, clutching his arm that QT had been cranking on. Trying to get back into the game with his usual brawling style, Blaze found himself again getting outsped and outmanuevered by the smaller luchadora until he was slammed right back into the ropes. As QT fed off the audience's support, Harry Allen stepped forward with his belt on his shoulder and looked smugly in Blaze's face.

"How's that little lady treatin' ya, partner?"

Blaze's hands shot out lightning fast and grabbed the belt, going to turn around and wallop QT with it -clearly more interested in doing damage than winning the match- but Harry kept a grip on it, gritting his teeth as the two hardboiled cowpokes played tug-of-war. Finally Blaze's grip was the one that failed due to the fatigue of the match and he stumbled back, twisting directly into a Knee+Face=Defeat from QT for the biggest upset of her career brought on directly by Blaze's own hubris. As he hand was raised, QT glared at Allen who merely tipped his hat at his former pupil and began walking his way to the back...

WINNER VIA PINFALL: QT PI

Speaking of backstage, it was a scene of chaos as the approach to Duke Hazzard's office had become a scene of war. People were laid out all around, the few standing not in much condition to keep fighting as they leaned against what they could. Crawling along this mess was Duke Hazzard, trying not to be spotted as he inched himself, wormlike, towards his door and ever so slowly crawled over the bodies of both Big Hoss and Deadly Deadsot to get inside. With a sigh and groan, he found himself looking up at Jay Fair as he kicked the door closed behind him. Chuckling evilly he pointed at the senior official with a wobbling finger...

"I...did it...suck on...them apples...haaaaa..."

And flopped onto the floor, knocked out from the strain this whole ordeal had put on him.

"Ayo Hazzard, where you at, man!?"

That's when the door opened and someone's shoe stepped directly onto the Sheriff's belly.

"What the-?"

1! 2! 3!

"WHAT!?"

Jay Fair grinned, nodding to the man who'd just punched his ticket to the main event of United States of Mayhem.

"Congrats, sir, you're getting yourself a title shot."

"...does everybody get this kinda treatment on their first day? Think I might like it here..."

[Pteroid]

THE ZEN NEWSWIRE

FRO SURE MAKES IMPACT IN DEBUT, DUKE HAZZARD CONVALESCANT IN HOUSTON HOME
After a chaotic night brought on by Eguchi the Amazing Councilman's 'Everybody vs Hazzard' match, it seemed as though the Sheriff was in the clear as most of the roster took itself out going after him. Collapsing in his office Mr. Hazzard did NOT expect the shocking debut of new hire Fro Sure, who quite literally stumbled into a pin on the man in charge and punched his ticket to United States of Mayhem's main event! When reached for comment, Fro Sure had this to say:

"First day in and I'm in the chase for the big belt? Sign me up, baby!"

Duke Hazzard will not be at this week's Art of Grappling as he will be convalescing in his home in Houston.

MAN O'WAR PROMISES A 'TRADITIONAL' APPROACH TO PICKING HIS MAYHEM REPRESENTATIVE
Council Representative of ZEN: London, Man O'War is set to announce his match to decide the penultimate entrant in the United States of Mayhem at this week's Art of Grappling. The ZEN Original hasn't given too many details like many of his cohorts in the past few weeks but he has promised it will be in line with lucha libre traditions and ensure 'Victory will go to the fighter with the skill, endurance, and the strategic mind to see them through'.

AMERICAN JUSTICE ACCEPTS STEREO'S CHALLENGE
After concluding a VERY one-sided match with A-Maze-Ing Grace, Right to Party Holder Stereo demanded to face American Justice after the vigilante made his presence felt in the champ's match with Ollie Basham. American Justice has responded through a message given to us at the newswire simply reading: "I accept." A laconic competitor if ever there was one.

KINSHIP TITLE MATCH SET FOR UNITED STATES OF FOOLS
Following their victory in the three team elimination match at this past Art of Grappling, the Ghosts of Retribution have gained themselves a title match with the Legends of the Sea at United States of Fools. The Ghosts have an interesting history in ZEN: Boston, a well tenured pair that have distinctly never managed to win the Kinship Belts, they do have a sizeable experience advantage over the pirates. However, the champions have proved themselves a resourceful and dangerously clever duo and are very clearly NOT keen on losing their newfound booty. Which team will win out in the quest for that gold? Stay tuned after this week's Art of Grappling to find out at United States of Fools!

[Pteroid]

ZEN: THE ART OF GRAPPLING

MAIN EVENT
MAN O'WAR'S TRADITIONAL UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM QUALIFIER

T-BONE TUCKER VS SAMHAIN

THE GOLDEN FOX VS AMERICAN JUSTICE

[christmas_ape]

There was so much to love in that last episode, the extra referees, the whole yoshida/hazard interactions, Arona was great and a perfect debut for Fro Sure. It's always fun to have some main story running throughout the whole episode like that. 

[KyTeran]

MAIN EVENT
MAN O'WAR'S TRADITIONAL UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM QUALIFIER

T-BONE TUCKER VS SAMHAIN

THE GOLDEN FOX VS AMERICAN JUSTICE

[Pteroid]

ZEN: The Art of Grappling
Attendance: 535
Viewers: 108,283 On The ZEN Network

The show opened with Man O'War of ZEN: London appear to announce his match to decide the fourth entrant in the United States of Mayhem scramble main event. The ZEN Original didn't mince his words, noting that only a luchador with pike performance can salmon the courage to separate themself from the puffered up pack to show who the real starfish was around here-

A vaudeville hook slowly began to slide in from offstage and Manny very quickly snapped out of his pun spiral and got to business.

"I'm calling on the lucha libre tradition of the Cibernetico match! Two teams of five, and only one man will remain standing at the end! After conferring with ZEN Officials and drawing names of some of ZEN's biggest stars at random your teams for tonight are:"

TEAM A

ROBBIE WRIGHT, PUMPKIN JACK, ADE NELSON, DEADLY DEADSHOT, AND TYRONE GRAY

TEAM B

BIG HOSS, THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA, ASH BARNABY, ZACH RUDGE, AND CHEETAH BOY

As the crowd roars at the prospect of such a chaotic match, Manny takes a bow...

"Scylla later~-HRK!"

Then got yoinked offstage by the hook.

THE GOLDEN FOX VS AMERICAN JUSTICE
With his newfound mentor in Cheetah Boy prepping for his sudden inclusion in the main event tonight, Fox only had his tag partner in The Golden Pig to rely on for support against the bat-wielding vigilante (the...the object, not the animal, it's hard to keep track of that these days). A high-flying affair with both men giving it their all, Justice of course resorted to shortcuts to get his way, though Pig at ringside managed to alert the referee to a few dirty doings until-

Oh. Great.

The minions of Arona, no doubt still steamed about his father and the super heroes preventing him from getting his hands on Hazzard last week, assaulted Pig at ringside. Fox saw this and went for one of his signature dives out onto the miscreants but as the ref was distracted Justice slammed his bat into Fox's ribs and captured him in a La Magistral cradle for a dirty win.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: AMERICAN JUSTICE

Backstage, QT PI was once again working on her investigation into peculiar happenings and the disappearance of Garry the Entertainer. Lecturing a few stagehands on proper paranormal management, she seemed like she's going to lay out her hypothesis about what's going on when someone stepped into the scene:

"Howdy, Ms."

QT's demeanor turned hostile as the ZEN Conqueror champion leaned against the wall. QT demanded to know what Allen wanted but the veteran merely shrugged and stated he didn't get the chance to say it but he was proud of his protege for getting her first shot at the Conqueror title. QT makes it clear she doesn't need her former mentor to be proud of her, she wasn't doing this for the Conqeuror title or to get rid of ZEN: Boston's obstructive Sheriff, she was doing it to get the company focused on what was happening.

"Something big is coming, Mr. Allen, and if we don't do something about it the effects on all of ZEN may be devastating."

Harry shrugged and told her if that's the way she felt then perhaps she should spend more time training for the scramble instead of worrying about missing freaks like Garry. As he said that, for a split second, Franklin -or at least someone in a Franklin costume?- was stood next to him before disappearing in a blink. QT gasped and ran off, muttering about a need to get her scientific instruments as Allen scoffed, oblivious to what just happened.

Elsewhere backstage, the Ghosts of Retribution were in the midst of a meditative ritual, surrounded by candles arranged in a pentagram. Their meditation was interrupted by the sudden arrival of the Kinship champions, The Legends of the Sea, as they belted out an obnoxious version of the Wellerman (what is this 2021?) with their obnoxious sidekick 'Pillage T. Parrot' (the T stands for The) on Crush's shoulder. The Ghosts did not take kindly to this and stood, getting in the pirates' faces and making it clear they were coming for the belts at United States of Fools, a threat the nautical duo laughed off (and Pillage squawked off) and replied that if Davy Jones' Locker could not avail against them then two rejects from Spirit Halloween hadn't a chance ("RAWK! HAVEN'T A CHANCE! RAWWWWK!"). The two teams were separated by officials before things could get much more heated but it was clear they were on track for a brawl and a half come United States of Fools...

T-BONE TUCKER VS SAMHAIN
A member of a disbanded stable faced a member of one on the rise as T-Bone Tucker tried to topple the real Spirit Halloween reject around here in Samhain. Unfortunately for the former bodyguard, his grit and determination couldn't match with the sheer momentum that the son of Arona had on his side and a pop-up backfist (identified as the 'Smack-O-Lantern' by Mac Smith) was enough to put Tucker down but good.

WINNER VIA PINFALL: SAMHAIN

Standing by backstage, Fro Sure was due to be interviewed when he was suddenly approached by Bradley Blaze. The cowboy informed Fro Sure that the man he pinned last week, his boss, Duke Hazzard wanted to meet with ZEN's latest and greatest signing at United States of Fools. Apparently Duke was cutting his recovery from the chaos of last week short just to do so and to announce his own qualifier for the United States of Mayhem match. Fro thought it over for a moment and agreed, saying it'd be good to meet the man in charge in a non-ridiculous circumstance. Blaze bitterly noted that EVERYTHING in ZEN was ridiculous before walking off. Fro turned away from that conversation to get ready for his interview, only to find someone else in his face:

"FOUL PRODIGAL! I CHALLENGE YOU!"

Fro blinked, looking around in confusion before pointing at himself.

Yoshida:
"MY RITUAL WAS IRONCLAD, MR. HAZZARD SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD ANY TROUBLE ESCAPING THE CLOYING CLUTCHES OF THE ZEN ROSTER! BUT YOU...YOOOOOU...YOUR PROFANE STEP, THE GAIT OF A MAN WHO BETRAYED MIGHTY EISEN BROKE MY DIVINE WORKINGS! I MUST HAVE VENGEANCE FOR THIS GREAT INJUSTICE! A MATCH! AT UNITED STATES OF FOOLS! WHAT SAY YOU!?"

Fro:
"Uhhhh...sure?"

Yoshida:
"EXCELLENT! CLAD THYSELF IN WHATEVER ARMOR YOU MAY! IT SHALL NOT AVAIL YOU AGAINST THE SWORD OF EISENISM!"

She stormed off angrily, spitefully smashing the backstage interviewer with a Strong Arm Tactic before disappearing.

Fro:
"Man...I just wanted to stop gettin' me confused with Lenny Brown."

Welcome to ZEN, Fro.

MAIN EVENT CIBERNETICO MATCH
WHOEVER WINS GOES ON TO UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM
ROBBIE WRIGHT, PUMPKIN JACK, TYRONE GRAY, DEADLY DEADSHOT, & ADE NELSON
VS
BIG HOSS, ASH BARNABY, ZACH RUDGE, THE OUTRAGEOUS ARONA, & CHEETAH BOY

A thrilling (if chaotic) matchup saw two mixed up teams do battle for one of the two remaining coveted spots in the United States of Mayhem Scramble match. Needless to say the tension between Arona and his father...not to mention Deadshot and the entirety of his own team was palpable and the 'batting order' format of the match allowed combinations of luchadors previously unthinkable. Underscoring the match itself was the tension between Robbie Wright and Pumpkin Jack, an early argument between the two leading to Jack slapping Wright across the face and 'tagging' himself in in the most roundabout way possible. Ash Barnaby at one point made a point to save his Frat Bro Ade Nelson during an early domination session from Big Hoss by blind tagging in and forcing the big man to the back of the line. An extended series of comedy spots between the quartet suddenly saw Zach Rudge get rolled up by Robbie Wright and be the first elimination to his own goodnatured shock.

As the match wore on, a developing game of oneupsmanship between Tyrone Gray and Deadly Deadshot became apparent, with Deadshot consistently tagging himself in to steal High Energy's thunder until he finally pushed his luck by attempting to steal a pin on Cheetah Boy by tagging himself in after a Tumbleweed on the veteran by Gray. Refusing to take any more guff from the masked man, Gray surprisingly smashed him with a Tumbleweed and plopped CB on top for a pinfall elmination of the masked man. Speaking of CB, for someone who wanted to remove himself from his father's shadow, Arona spent a lot of the match tagging in his dad to get out of trouble, hoping that whatever danger there was would take it all out on his patriarch rather than himself. He would finally succeed when Pumpkin Jack took CB down with a Pumpkinhandle Suplex to Arona's glee...only for him to realize that the next guy in the lineup behind him now was a very angry Big Hoss, who proceeded to use Arona and Ash Barnaby as weapons against the opposing four and eventually hit a running powerslam on Ash ONTO Ade Nelson to get an elimination before Tyrone pounced on the Frat Bro jus tto get him out of there. 

Down to a Three-on-two, Hoss' strength and Arona's underhandedness managed to get them into a position to even the odds when a shocking attempt by Gray to hit the Tumbleweed on Hoss was interrupted by Arona tossing his wig into Gray's face while he was on Hoss' shoulders, resulting in an electric chair drop that left him open to a moonsault senton for an elimination on High Energy. Arona would have little time to celebrate, however, as Robbie would swoop in for a Wright Move on the Outrageous one for another elimination! Hoss, on his own, aggressively attempted to boot Wright in the belly and followed up by yanking his head between his legs for a piledriver...but Jack used Robbie's back as a launchpad to slam a knee into Hoss' chin, sending him stumbling back into the ropes and back into an instinctual Wright Move by Robbie followed up by an Orange Bowl from Jack, both men falling on Hoss to make sure he was eliminated.

And then there were two...

The crowd cheered in anticipation of a fight they'd been dying to see for some time as Wright and Jack slowly got to their feet. The strain of the match had clearly taken a toll on both but they were NOT about to allow the other to claim victory easily. The momentum between the two shifted again and again as they attempted to claim that spot at Mayhem. Multiple times it'd seem like a finisher was about to be hit only for a canny reversal to keep the final nail from being hammered in. Eventually the two men were reduced to throwing punches as they tried to just pound each other into submission, the crowd cheering with each blow delivered until-

Kick to the belly of Jack! Suplex position! Wright spun-!

Jack slipped free, seizing an arm to pull between Wright's legs!

PUMPKINHANDLE SUPLEX!

1! 2! 3!

WINNER VIA PINFALL AND QUALIFYING FOR THE UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM SCRAMBLE MATCH:
PUMPKIN JACK

As the crowd roared its approval, Jack sprung to the top rope and beat his chest, roaring out a challenge to all his future opponents in the scramble match. Meanwhile Robbie Wright rolled out of the ring, soon joined by his brothers from the Frat who-he pushed away and fell to his knees on the entrance ramp! He screamed out in frustration and slammed his fists on the ramp, pulling at his hair before stumbling to the back, clearly in no mood to lick wounds with his friends. The camera switches back to Jack who ends the show making belt motions around his waist as we fade to black.

[christmas_ape]

I know you've used it before but I just have to say bravo to Pumpkinhandle Suplex. Loved a lot of this, it just has such a unique feel to it that fits ZEN perfect. 

 

I didn't know where to expect the Garry stuff to go but I'm enjoying each development. 

[Pteroid]

7 hours ago, christmas_ape said:

I know you've used it before but I just have to say bravo to Pumpkinhandle Suplex. Loved a lot of this, it just has such a unique feel to it that fits ZEN perfect. 

 

I didn't know where to expect the Garry stuff to go but I'm enjoying each development. 

Oh I can't take credit for that it's in the data

[Pteroid]

THE ZEN NEWSWIRE

HAZZARD TO ANNOUNCE FINAL UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM QUALIFIER IN PERSON
To the shock of many, Sheriff Duke Hazzard is as of this moment on his way to open United States of Fools by announcing his own qualifier match for the United States of Mayhem scramble match. Sheriff Hazzard has not been reached for comment due to no members of the newswire being welcome on his private jet but his confidant Bradley Blaze has made allusions to 'Dealing with a thorn in his side once and for all' with his choice.

DEADSHOT/GRAY BOUT SET FOR UNITED STATES OF FOOLS
Following a dustup at United States of Fools, Tyrone Gray and Deadly Deadshot have been signed to a matchup at United States of Fools. The two acrobatic luchadors are certain to put on a show in their quest to prove superiority over one another but one can only hope Diamond Deuce will be on hand to keep Deadshot's cohorts in the Regulators from making their presences felt.

TECH SQUAD DENIES SIGNAL INTERFERENCE WORRIES
A whistleblower within the ZEN Production team has reached out to the newswire's reporters about strange visuals attempting to intrude in the early tests for tonight's United States of Fools' broadcast. When reached for comment the in-house tech support team made it clear that they have the issue in hand and there will be no interruptions to tonight's livestream. Godspeed, you glorious geeks, godspeed.

[Pteroid]

ZEN: BOSTON PRESENTS UNITED STATES OF FOOLS

MAIN EVENT
DUKE HAZZARD'S QUALIFIER FOR THE UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM SCRAMBLE MATCH

SCRAMBLE MATCH PREVIEW BOUT
PUMPKIN JACK & QT PI VS BRADLEY BLAZE & HARRY ALLEN

FRO SURE VS SUPREME YOSHIDA

TYRONE GRAY VS DEADLY DEADSHOT

ZEN KINSHIP TITLE MATCH
THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS LEGENDS OF THE SEA (c)

ZEN RIGHT TO PARTY MATCH
STEREO (c) VS AMERICAN JUSTICE

CHEETAH BOY & THE GOLDEN GLORY VS THE ARONA FAMILY

[KyTeran]

MAIN EVENT
DUKE HAZZARD'S QUALIFIER FOR THE UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM SCRAMBLE MATCH

SCRAMBLE MATCH PREVIEW BOUT
PUMPKIN JACK & QT PI VS BRADLEY BLAZE & HARRY ALLEN

FRO SURE VS SUPREME YOSHIDA

TYRONE GRAY VS DEADLY DEADSHOT

ZEN KINSHIP TITLE MATCH
THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS LEGENDS OF THE SEA (c)

ZEN RIGHT TO PARTY MATCH
STEREO (c) VS AMERICAN JUSTICE

CHEETAH BOY & THE GOLDEN GLORY VS THE ARONA FAMILY

[christmas_ape]

MAIN EVENT
DUKE HAZZARD'S QUALIFIER FOR THE UNITED STATES OF MAYHEM SCRAMBLE MATCH   (his opponent)

SCRAMBLE MATCH PREVIEW BOUT
PUMPKIN JACK & QT PI VS BRADLEY BLAZE & HARRY ALLEN

FRO SURE VS SUPREME YOSHIDA

TYRONE GRAY VS DEADLY DEADSHOT

ZEN KINSHIP TITLE MATCH
THE GHOSTS OF RETRIBUTION VS LEGENDS OF THE SEA (c)

ZEN RIGHT TO PARTY MATCH
STEREO (c) VS AMERICAN JUSTICE

CHEETAH BOY & THE GOLDEN GLORY VS THE ARONA FAMILY