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SmackDown!: Second Genesis


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30th June 2006 Theodore R. Long, General Manager of WWE’s SmackDown brand, shook his head wearily. The lights in his hotel room were dim, a single, weak bulb barely providing sufficient illumination as he studied the list on the clipboard he held in his hand. “Debits,” he read aloud, his eyes scanning up and down the list for the hundredth time. [I]Johnny Nitro – fired, moved to Raw Melina – fired, moved to Raw Chris Benoit – injured, return date unknown Burchill – injured, return date unknown Muhammad Hassan – resigned from SmackDown Stacy Keibler – moving to Hollywood Joey Mercury – injured[/I] (“Licking his wounds in some posh Hollywood joint next to Charlie Sheen and Robert Downey Jr, more like,” Long snorted.) [I]Eddie Guerrero – RIP Kurt Angle – drafted to ECW Randy Orton – drafted to Raw The Boogeyman –restraining order/injured, return date unknown The Undertaker – AWOL Matt Hardy – lethargic and dispirited Nunzio – drafted to ECW JBL – forced into retirement, and not taking it well Tazz – drafted to ECW Juventud – fired Road Warrior – released Heidenreich – released Hardcore Holly – injured, return date unknown Carlito – drafted to Raw Charlie Haas – released, and hired by Raw John Cena – drafted to Raw Rob Van Dam – drafted to Raw[/I] The second column on the sheet of paper was much shorter. It was titled ‘Credits’: [I]Batista – returning this week Booker T – firing on all cylinders Bobby Lashley – limitless potential Kendrick & London – exciting and popular Fit Finlay – surprisingly professional Gregory Helms – the greatest cruiserweight in the world? Noble and Kash – ready for primetime Gunner Scott – has settled in rapidly Mr. Kennedy – back in the saddle, and ready to go[/I] And then there was a third column, untitled, which only contained one entry: [I]Rey Mysterio?[/I] He set the clipboard to one side and picked up the WWE-headed sheaf of paper that sat atop a freshly-opened envelope. [I]Teddy[/I], he read, the word-famous gravelly McMahon growl sounding in his head. [I]I appreciate that SmackDown has been through a rough spell of late, but I’m not sure what you expect me to do about it. Yes, Raw has got most of the best-known wrestlers right now, but you’ve had the chance to sign them yourself when their contracts come up. If you can’t convince workers of the calibre of HHH or Shawn Michaels to join you, well, frankly that’s your own lookout. To be perfectly honest, I’m a little disappointed to hear you complain this way, Teddy. When I appointed you as General Manager, I expected great things from you – you assured me that you could shake things up over there. Instead, I’m having you accuse me of using my influence as Chairman of the Board to get all the best signings for Raw. Frankly, I’m shocked, Teddy, shocked! But I’m also a nice guy, and so here’s what I’m gonna do. Out of the goodness of my heart, I’m going to give you the next pick from our feeder territories down south. No need to thank me – I guess it’s your turn anyway. In fact, you can thank me – I’ll give you three picks. But be careful, Teddy. I may be having problems over on Raw that are keeping me busy right now, but don’t think that I’m not watching SmackDown closely. I still have faith in you, but any more complaints and I might start to wonder whether SmackDown’s bad luck of late starts at the top – and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what steps I may take in order to correct that run. Choose wisely, Teddy. Don’t forget – this is WWE. The world is watching. Yours, Vincent K. McMahon[/I] Attached to the letter was a list of young up-and-comers in the WWE’s trainee leagues. Supposedly, the DSW trainees were those furthest from readiness, while the OVW workers were nearly ready for the step up – but there were youngsters in both locations that blurred the lines a bit. It made choosing rather difficult. Vince had helpfully included some comments in addition to the training reports – effectively banning Long from approaching at least two of the trainees. Long sighed, and wondered if Vince appreciated how much of a hypocrite he was coming across as. Long yawned, and decided to make his decision later – once he’d had some sleep. Setting aside the clipboard and papers, he shut off the light and closed his eyes. When Long awoke the next morning, his dreams resonated sharply in his mind. He sat quietly over breakfast, watching as the wrestlers who’d also booked into his hotel ate and made arrangements for travel and workouts – and in some case carefully avoided one another. One in particular caught his eye – well, it was hard not to notice Khali in the midst of all the normal-sized people going about their business. He was sat apart from the other hotel residents, eying them occasionally as he shovelled down plate after plate of scrambled eggs. Long supposed that it took a lot of food to keep Khali’s body going. “Good morning, Teddy,” he heard, and looked up. He smiled politely at Sharmell – Queen Sharmell, as she now wished to be called. “’Morning, your majesty,” he said. She could be a sweet girl when she wanted – although that wasn’t often. “You’re looking down today,” she said. “Anything your Queen can help you with?” “No, thank you. This old playa just needs a break. No chance of that in my job, though.” “I can dig that. Being a Queen, you reign 24/7.” Long couldn’t help but smile. “I ‘spose that’s so. And where is the King this morning?” “Oh, he’s readying some proclamations – our rental car isn’t royal standard, you see, and my man is going to make sure that we get the respect we deserve.” “Always a bad man to be on the wrong side of, your husband.” “You got that right,” she replied, with an emphatic nod. “Say, do you think that he might be willing to grant me an audience at some point in the next few days?” “Oh, I’m sure he’d be willing. Will you need long?” she smiled at her own joke. “Maybe half an hour or so. I’ve been thinking about some ways he might want to improve his situation on SmackDown.” “A match against our midget champ would be first, I hope. King and World Champion? No less than my man deserves.” “Well, we’ll see,” Long extemporised. “If I could see him at the taping, that’d be fine.” “I’ll be sure to pass on your request. Now, my duties await me. You may leave.” Sharmell swept off, leaving Long to shake his head. * Theodore Long had known Booker T for nearly fifteen years – ever since Booker’s debut with WCW in the early 90’s. Teddy had found that the young man had a good head for the business, and had picked his brain several times over the years. Attitude changes notwithstanding, he remained friends with Booker, although their professional relationship sometimes made it difficult. Theodore recognised that using Booker as a sounding board for his ideas for SmackDown’s future was potentially dangerous. Booker was an active wrestler, and if he didn’t like Long’s ideas, or didn’t think he’d get enough from them, he could cause trouble. But Booker was professional enough to give good advice – and he only outlined his ideas in broad terms, without providing too much detail. By the end of their meeting, Theodore felt surer about his plans, and his head was bubbling with ideas for the long-term future of his brand. A future that began right then, with the first show of what Long was already thinking of as SmackDown’s new beginning – or a prelude, at least. [I]You want to fight a war, Vince? Well, you’ve taken your eye off SmackDown while you’re busy with DX and ECW. Maybe it’s time for a sneak attack... Can you hear me, playa?[/I] * Raw put on a decent, DX-less, show, with Edge beating John Cena in the main event. TNA’s Impact had been good as well – AJ Styles beating Samoa Joe in the main event. That was SmackDown’s competition. * Teddy gave everyone the usual pre-show talk about putting on a good performance for the paying public. Mike Mizanin was bouncing around the locker room, eager for his first match. Kid Kash and Jamie Noble were eying the young man speculatively – they would be his opponents. Super Crazy and Psicosis stood on opposite sides of the locker room. Bobby Lashley sat front row centre, beaming at everyone, his US title belt seeming always to be pointed at Booker T, who looked miserable as sin. Teddy shook his head as he sent them off for their final warm up. It would be an eventful show. It always was. [I]OOC: First show to go up in the next two or three days - if not sooner. And isn't it amazing how quickly the wrestling world changes at times? RVD and Sabu, you naughty boys... Anyway, first show is all current SD! workers, obviously, building towards the GAB. As I discovered, it's almost impossible to book a second show without a few debuts - unless it's going to be all-but identical to the first, but the idea behind the diary, and the pushing of the new signings, will really kick off after the Bash.[/I]
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[I]OOC: Thank you all, and the back story is good, isn't it? All completely true as well - at least, true enough. Ah, kayfabe... Anyway, here's the first show. If interest stays high, I may even run a contest for the Bash...[/I] [B][CENTER]WWE SmackDown! For Tuesday, Week 1, July 2006 Taped for airing on Friday evening, from the Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, CT, before an audience of 13,134 people[/CENTER][/B] The Miz kicked things off from the middle of the ring. “Hello and – Woooh! – welcome to SmackDown! And welcome to my reality! It’s amazing to be here in Hartford with all you brand new Miz’s. I can see a few Be Miz shirts out there – keep it up guys. Everyone needs to be a little Miz sometimes – maybe not as much as me, but you all know it, deep down.” He grinned, and a few schoolgirls sighed. “But let’s get to tonight’s show! Earlier today, Bobby Lashley, the United States champion, issued a challenge to King Booker for a tag team match here tonight. Booker and the partner of his choice, against Lashley and the partner of his choice. No-one knows who Lashley has in mind – World champion Rey Mysterio, maybe? Or maybe even the Miz himself? – but Booker has accepted the challenge, and has announced that he’ll be teaming with Finlay. “Also on tonight’s show, Ken Kennedy kicks things off against Gunner Scott, Tatanka proves his bravery by taking on Mark Henry, and Brian Kendrick goes for double gold against Cruiserweight champion Gregory Helms. We also have Rey Mysterio in action against Psicosis, after Psicosis abandoned and then attacked his partner and Rey’s friend, Super Crazy. Finally, two of our lovely Divas in action tonight in a Diva Search Revenge contest, as my lovely friend Ashley takes on the woman she beat into fourth place last year – Kristal! “Oh, and one last thing. Everyone’s been asking me: Miz, when you gonna fight? When are we gonna see what you’re made of? Well, folks, the answer is tonight – yes, you in the front row, you can see it all later on, if you’re Miz enough – but for everyone else, you’ll just have to make sure your TiVos are running – the Miz makes his in-ring debut tonight, teaming with Super Crazy against the Pitbulls!” [B]Rating: C-[/B] Ken Kennedy’s music played as he made his way down to the ring, the microphone already lowering from the ceiling. He and Miz exchanged words as they passed, but no punches were thrown. “Ladies and gentlemen... This match is scheduled for one fall... In the ring, weighing in at 249 pounds of molded perfection, I come from Green Bay, Wisconsin, and I am so good that I may just announce myself the winner right now... I am... Ken-n-n-n Kenn-e-dy.... “Kennedy. “And my opponent, some no-mark who thinks that beating King Booker – pfft, who hasn’t done that? – makes him someone around here. I don’t know what he weighs, but his gut hangs over his belt. Gunner Scott!” [B]Rating: C Gunner Scott vs. Ken Kennedy[/B] Kennedy may have belittled Gunner Scott, but the rookie was the one who made the more impressive start here, sending Kennedy into the ropes for a high back body drop before going to work on his opponent’s back, leaving Kennedy writhing in pain early on. Kennedy rallied after a thumb to the eye, however, and took control with some impressively aggressive offence, continuing to show off a new side to him since his return from injury. Although Scott was able to briefly regain control when he slipped out of a Kenton Bomb, Kennedy took a leaf from JBL’s book when he nailed Scott with a stiff lariat and, as JBL cheered him on at the announcers’ table, hooked the leg for a pin. [B]Winner: Ken Kennedy Rating: C+[/B] “Now that that piece of business is dealt with, I have to say hat I’m not impressed. I’ve been back for three weeks, and I haven’t faced a decent challenge yet. The Great American Bash is coming up, and I want a real fight – not some hundred-fifty pound wimp pretending he can cut it up here in the big leagues. First come, first served, though, so get in fast. I am a lean, mean machine, and there’s only so much of me to go around.” [B]Rating: B- Ashley vs. Kristal Marshall[/B] The two Divas squared off after Ashley upset Kristal the previous week by suggesting that she’d just made the top 10 in the last Diva Search. Kristal objected – she’d finished fourth, and she was determined to show Ashley that there was little, if any distance between the two. The result was a standard Diva match. Ashley, on her return from injury, was tossed around by her hair. Kristal had her shorts pulled down, to the biggest pop of the match. There were a few Spears, and Ashley even managed a sunset flip, but it wasn’t ever going to challenge for MOTY. The finish came when Kristal neatly reversed a victory roll into an Ankle Lock on Ashley’s recently recovered leg, and used the ropes for leverage to gain the submission. [B]Winner: Kristal Rating: C-[/B] Michelle McCool took the opportunity to strut down to ringside, remind people of Stacy Keibler with her ring entrance, and taunt both the other women in the ring. “I understand that you have to keep trying – but you’ll never be as hot as me. Or as athletic as me. Or as perfect as I am. But that wasn’t too bad an effort. I’ll give you a... C.” [B]Rating: D[/B] Backstage, Brian Kendrick and Paul London were shooting the breeze together when Jesse and Jake Gymini rushed in to their locker room and beat them down. Rolling behind his charges on his SegWay scooter, Simon Dean watched on approvingly. [B]Rating: C- Tatanka vs. Mark Henry[/B] Tatanka exploded out of the blocks here, nailing Henry with chops and punches and, incredibly, staggering his much larger opponent. Tatanka got ****y, though, and tried to slam the World’s Strongest Man. Tatanka is strong, but this was beyond him, and he toppled backwards under Henry’s weight, staying down for a long two. With the wind knocked from him, the Native American warrior was easy pickings for Henry, who drove two crushing elbows into Tatanka’s sternum before lowering the boom with a crushing legdrop. Picking his opponent up at two – to the boos of the crowd, which bought a sadistic smile to Henry’s face – he picked Tatanka up off the mat and drilled with a World’s Strongest Slam for a short, impressive pinfall victory. [B]Winner: Mark Henry Rating: C[/B] Henry snatched the mic from Tony Chimel and peered moodily up the aisle. “I’m sick of this crap,” he growled. “Sick of messing around with the entrees. I want the main course. Long, do you hear me? Mysterio, are my words reaching all the way down to you? Am I gonna have to put any more people in hospital before I get my title shot?” [B]Rating: C+[/B] The video of Psicosis costing Super Crazy his shot at the Cruiserweight title on the previous week’s SmackDown! was shown. [B]Rating: C+[/B] The Pitbulls were backstage. Kash leaned into the camera. “You see, people think we’re strange.” “Yeah, people see us with our chains and out collars, and they think we’re weird,” Noble chimed in. “Well they’re right. They’re right.” “They don’t know how right.” “But this kid Mizanin-“ “-and Super Crazy, hah-“ “-they might have an idea, after tonight.” “They might do. They might know what we’re all about,” Noble finished off. [B]Rating: C+[/B] [B]Mike Mizanin and Super Crazy vs. The Pitbulls[/B] Mizanin was eager to get his first taste of SD! Action, but Super Crazy seemed to be on a mission as he obliterated his opponent’s with a leaping somersault senton over the top rope before they could even reach the ring. He was a house on fire all by himself for a spell as he sought to take out his frustrations on Kash and Noble. But the wily duo soon turned the tables, hitting a flapjack on the arena floor that took Crazy out of commission. It was Mizanin’s turn to shine as he climbed to the top rope and hit a crossbody to the arena floor onto both men, but the impact seemed to hurt him more than them, and the bell rang to officially start the match as Noble rolled the reality TV veteran back into the ring. The match from that point was all Pitbull, as they exchanged quickfire tags that prevented Miz from reaching his team’s corner, even when Crazy managed to get back to it, several minutes in. Still, the mistake had to come, and come it did, with the referee distracted by catching the Pitbulls in an illicit double-team, Miz nailed Kash between the legs and crawled desperately for his corner. He just made it as Noble tagged in, the former redneck charging across the ring only to be met with a high dropkick. It was the signal for the match to disintegrate, with the referee unable to separate the four men. Crazy was wailing on Noble, while Kash beat Miz down. With all around him chaos, the referee somehow missed Psicosis slipping into the ring, and nailing Crazy from behind. As Noble looked surprised, Psicosis waved him up to the top rope. While the referee was busy with Kash and Miz, Psicosis lifted Crazy up, allowing Noble to dive off with a Doomsday Device. Psicosis bailed as the referee finally managed to regain control, turning in time to see Noble covering, and dropped to his knees to count the pin. [B]Winners: The Pitbulls Rating: C+[/B] As Super Crazy was helped to back by The Miz, Psicosis taunted him from the top of the ramp, churning out Spanish insults – which were lost on the crowd – and providing an English translation, which seemed to anger Crazy more. [B]Rating: C[/B] Next up was Vito In A Dress, as a video played to hype SD’s own executive transvestite, and his humorous encounters with ordinary people on the road. [B]Rating: E[/B] [B]Brian Kendrick vs. Gregory Helms (C) (WWE Cruiserweight Title)[/B] Kendrick was rubbing the back of his head as he made his way to the ring, as Michael Cole informed the viewers that Paul London was being held from ringside under medical supervision. JBL said that it was good: “This way, the champ knows he’s gonna get a clean fight. With that long-haired Keanu wannabe London around, who knows what cheap tricks these two might try. Bad enough they screwed MNM out of the tag belts. Let’s see a clean fight for once.” And a clean fight was mostly what JBL got. Helms went right to work on Kendrick’s neck, only for Kendrick to surprise the champ. While Helms preened and posed after planting Kendrick with a back suplex, Kendrick climbed to his feet, shushing the crowd, and pulling Helms into a rollup for a desperately close two – Kendrick had been faking! After that, the two cruiserweights passed the advantage back and forth, neither able to keep on top of the match for long as move after move was skilfully countered. Kendrick at one point went for Sliced Bread #2, only for Helms to push him off and into the ref. Down the ref went, and Helms drilled his opponent with a Shining Wizard before heading outside for the belt. The ref wasn’t that hurt, though, and Helms was made to put the belt down on his return. He did so reluctantly, making a show of pouting and scowling. Kendrick tried to ambush him again, but this time Helms was ready, reversing the cradle into one of his own, and grabbing the ropes for added leverage for the pin. [B]Winner, and still champion: Gregory Helms Rating: C+[/B] Next was a video to hype a new arrival on SmackDown! Or was it...? A mysterious figure in a long, black coat walked the dark streets of an unknown city as enigmatic music played. [B]Rating: D[/B] Backstage, Scotty 2 Hotty was leaving the babyface dressing room when he was jumped by The Great Khali. Khali lifted the squirming Scotty fully two feet off the ground by his throat, before tossing him easily into a casket being rolled along by Daivari. Daivari closed and locked the lid, while Khali pulled a can of gasoline from the trolley and emptied it over the casket. Daivari produced a lighter and held it out for Khali, who held the flame to the gas, igniting it and the coffin. Khali and Daivari walked coolly away as people rushed to douse the flames [B]Rating: C+[/B] Sylvan was shown on the big screen, this time at the centre of Montreal’s Olympic Stadium. He expounded on the glorious Olympic Games of 1976, and how the city had really risen to the occasion. “And what a legacy! The tower, the stadium, the buildings... Ah, c’est magnifique. Come to Montreal, mes amis, and see for yourself what a beautiful city truly looks like.” [B]Rating: C- Rey Mysterio (C) vs. Psicosis (Non-title match)[/B] As the two wrestlers entered, JBL accused Rey of ducking the challenge of Psicosis, but Cole pointed out that Psicosis had done nothing to warrant a title shot. The two continued to bicker during the match. The match itself showcased two wrestlers who were very familiar with one another from their time in WCW and ECW. They clicked from the off, exchanging smooth counters and soaring aerial moves before shifting seamlessly into an exchange of near falls that brought applause from the crowd. The two cruiserweights then launched into a blistering series of dropkicks and dives, almost too quick to see or call. Psicosis was able to counter one move and snare Mysterio in a tiger suplex for a near fall, but Rey was quickly back on the offence, driving Psicosis into the corner with a spinning heel kick and flattening him with a corner splash. As Psicosis staggered out, Msyterio tripped him into position for a 619, but as he bounced off the opposite ropes, Psicosis shifted and caught the World champ with a vicious dropkick to the face as Mysterio sailed through the air. Psicosis took control, nailing two suplexes and a second rope elbow, before climbing the ropes. In doing so, he missed Super Crazy making his way to the ring. Crazy grabbed his opponent and shoved him off the top rope, landing him astride the rope. Psicosis’ face was a picture as he paused on the rope for a long moment before twirling around it and falling onto the middle rope, in perfect place for Rey Mysterio to dial up a 619, followed by Dropping The Dime for the win [B]Winner: Rey Mysterio Rating: A[/B] Super Crazy followed up his attack by jumping Psicosis in the ring, and beating him down again. [B]Rating: C-[/B] As the referees separated the former partners, Rey was backstage, looking exhausted, but stating that he was happy to face Mark Henry – he’d see him at the Bash! [B]Rating: B+[/B] Bobby Lashley came to the ring alone, and took the microphone. “I know you’re all wondering who I chose as my partner. I knew I needed someone tough enough to handle whatever Booker could throw at me, and anything from his band of thugs. And I knew that there was one man who was fresh, who had a hunger to fight... and who has had his own issues with King Booker of late. Seems like a good time for the return of... Batista!” Batista came out from backstage, after a six month injury layoff, to a healthy crowd response. [B]Rating: B-[/B] [B]Bobby Lashley and Batista vs. King Booker and Finlay[/B] The four men threw everything they had at one another in this wild brawl, with the referee losing control for long stretches as everyone had at everyone else. Booker greeted the returning Batista with a series of blows that barely fazed the former champ, but Finlay fired off a hard kick to the small of Batista’s back that won his attention. He retaliated with a stiff clothesline that knocked the Northern Irishman from the ring, with Batista hot on his heels. Booker and Lashley went at it with a familiarity bred from their numerous recent meetings. The two exchanged clotheslines and punches, elbows and suplexes, neither able to gain an advantage. Eventually, Sharmell interfered, grabbing Lashley’s boot as he ran the ropes. Unfortunately, Booker had already begun to charge in with a clothesline, which sent both men crashing over the top rope, scarcely avoiding the Queen. This left the ring clear as Finlay dashed back in, turning to greet Batista with several boots to the head as the bigger man slid under the ropes. Batista barely blinked, slowly getting to his feet and grabbing Finlay as he tred to retreat once more. As the crowd cheered, Batista booted Finlay in the gut, doubling him over and setting him up for a thundering Demon Bomb that earned Batista a simple pin and a victorious comeback. [B]Winners: Batista and Lashley Rating: B[/B] Booker and Finlay showed their lack of sportsmanship by attacking the celebrating face duo, and were quickly joined by William Regal. The trio used the numbers advantage to momentarily overwhelm their foes, but when Rey Mysterio hit the ring, wielding a steel chair, they seemed to feel that discretion was the better part of valour, heading for the hills as the good guys stood tall in the ring. [B]Rating: B Show overall: B-[/B]
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[I]OOC: Daily updates won't be the norm - I just had some free time this week, so was able to get up to the Bash. I'll probably update once or twice a week, at a guess, once the Bash is done.[/I] * Teddy was looking forward to SmackDown this week. Raw had been so-so, with a Kane/Triple H main event that had been done a thousand times before. Impact had been no better, Jeff Jarrett retaining his stranglehold on the NWA World title in an overbooked battle with Rhino. * Teddy had been busy since the last show, drafting trainees to SmackDown – in some cases leaving them in OVW and DSW for further training – and scouring the lists of free agents and independent workers that landed on his desk every day. The result was an influx of fresh young talent that would slowly be dripfed onto the show over the coming weeks – some new faces, some more familiar to the viewers, each with the desire to prove themselves at the highest level. Perhaps most importantly had been making the signing on a contract that wouldn’t directly result in a new performer for the SmackDown audience – but Teddy had managed to convince the Philadelphia-based Ring Of Honor to enter into a working agreement where they could share workers on a friendly basis, with SmackDown providing global exposure to the wrestlers, who would have something to prove in the big leagues. Everybody gets something from this, and that’s the best sort of deal possible, Teddy smiled. Teddy’s scouts were watching the other outfit closely, and they had already suggested that Teddy sign one of the young stars to a training contract, which the young man had leaped at. Teddy frowned as he looked at the other big-name independent promotion. TNA had all but slammed the door in Teddy’s face when he suggested a working agreement, with the Jarrett’s preferring to continue with their attempt to take over the wrestling world without making many friends along the way. Teddy shook his head: [I]If needs be, I can put them flat on their back in the dirt. If needs be. [/I] As it was – Teddy glanced at a contract on his desk, the ink on it just barely dry – he was going to try and help TNA out in other ways, by putting one of their stars on TV and seeing if that helped them out at all. [I]Yep, it’s an interesting time to be me,[/I] Long thought, getting ready for the pre-show meeting. * [B][CENTER]WWE SmackDown! For Tuesday, Week 2, July 2006 Taped for airing on Friday evening, from the Broadbent Arena, Louisville, KY, before an audience of 4,372 people[/CENTER][/B] The Miz hit the ring to welcome us all to another exciting night of SmackDown action. “Welcome, welcome, welcome,” he smiled. “It’s SmackDown! Yeah! And if you don’t know what that means, it means thrills, spills, shills and maybe even a couple of gi-rls.” Miz laughed at his own awful rhyming. “But seriously folks, tonight the World title is on the line, as my main man Rey Mysterio takes on my favourite piece of skirt – Vito! And after last week’s brutal attack, the World Tag Team champions Brian Kendrick and Paul London have demanded Simon Dean’s Gymini in a title match. We’ll also see what happens when the immovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force as Bobby Lashley and Mark Henry with Lashley’s US title on the line. All this, and we’ll see the start of SmackDown’s future – after me, of course – as some new faces make their first appearance here on UPN and Sky Sports. Enjoy the show, folks, but if it ain’t keeping you on your feet, just remember: Be Miz!” [B]Rating: C[/B] [B]??? vs. Gregory Helms (c) (WWE Cruiserweight Title)[/B] Helms made his way to the ring as Cole and JBL speculated on why he’d agree to face a mystery opponent. Helms looked as ****y and cool as ever – until some decidedly Oriental music hit the PA and former SmackDown star Tajiri made his way to the ring to an impressive pop. Tajiri launched right into action, firing off some of his trademark kicks from the bell and backing Helms into the ropes, where he fell victim to a Tarantula that the Japanese superstar only broke on four. Helms managed to fight back, jumping Tajiri as the ref admonished him for the illegal hold. The action seesawed back and forth for ten minutes or so, with Tajiri showing off his own brand of nimbleness, and continually thwarting Helms’ attempts to tie him down. Helms finally broke Tajiri’s resistance when the match tumbled to the outside, and he was able to sneak in a belt shot to the gut as Tajiri blocked the ref’s view. Rolling his foe back into the ring, Helms connected with a Shining Black for the win. [B]Winner, and still champion: Gregory Helms Rating: C+[/B] [I]Na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na Na-na-na Na-na-NA And we all like Eng-er-land We’re gonna score one more than you – England![/I] As the music faded, red-and-white text came up on the big screen: [B][I]The English are coming...[/I][/B] Rating: D [B]The Briscoe Brothers vs. The Pitbulls[/B] As Michael Cole hyped the Briscoes impressive indy credentials, so JBL put over their opponents as the meanest team around. Both teams played to their billings early on, with Mark and Jay concentrating on strikes and kicks while Kash and Noble went for punches and forearms. Business picked up around the halfway point, with both teams catching some air, Jay and Kash in particular showing some impressive moves while their partners kept it simple. In the end, it fell to Kash to win the match, nailing Jay with a Doomsday Device off Noble’s shoulders for the surprisingly clean pin. [B]Winners: The Pitbulls Rating: C+[/B] “Welcome to Life Through A Lens, and I am your host, Alex Shelley.” Tepid applause greeted the TNA star on his debut on SmackDown. “I’d like you all to give a big welcome to a man who’s achieved a lot in a short time: He’s hosted bikini contests, been in a house with some people, and succumbed to multiple personality disorder by his own choice. A most remarkable man – Mike Mizanin!” The Miz returned to the ring with one eyebrow firmly arched. “Nice hair,” he began. “Thanks,” Shelly replied, smoothing his skunk stripe. “So, Miz, what brings you to SmackDown? Did MTV fire you?” “No – what brings you to SmackDown? Was Pepe Le Pew not ready to retire?” “You’re a funny guy – how does it feel to know that Chyna came across better on her show than you did on yours?” “How does it feel to know that the crew is reusing furniture that Christian used to use? Or are you just used to being in his shadow?” “Tell me,” Shelley said, picking up a camcorder and training it on Miz. “Do you think you’d have made it this far in life without being such an obnoxious showoff?” “Would you?” [B]Rating: C-[/B] [B]Super Crazy and Funaki vs. Simon Dean and Psicosis[/B] The Crazy/Psicosis feud rolled on, bringing in Funaki and Simon Dean as support. The former partners tore into one another from the off, leaving their partners outside for several minutes before a clash of heads left them both down. As the ref began his count, Psicosis stirred and began to crawl to the corner. On seven, Psicosis made his tag, and Simon Dean came roaring into the ring, ready to beat on the downed Crazy. However, Funaki tagged in at that instant and Dean immediately begged off as the Number One Announcer struck a martial arts pose. Dean and Funaki worked through a few moves, but neither Mexican could be denied for long, and Psicosis blind tagged back into the match, allowing a double-team that brought Crazy into the ring. This prompted the ref to chase Crazy out of the ring, ignoring Dean and Psiocis’ double clothesline, and only turning back in time to see Funaki crash to the mat on the wrong end of a spike powerbomb that got Psicosis the win. [B]Winners: Dean and Psicosis Rating: C[/B] Ken Kennedy came to ring for his match. He applauded Psicosis and Dean out of the ring, and laughed at the battered Funaki as he was carried up the aisle. “Ladies and gentlemen... This match is scheduled for one fall... In the ring, weighing in at 249 pounds of much sought after muscle and sinew, I come from Green Bay, Wisconsin, and for those of you not yet well educated enough to recognise greatness... I am... Ken-n-n-n Kenn-e-dy.... “Kennedy. “And my opponent...” [B]Rating: C+[/B] “Yo, Ken boy, here I am!” A second Oriental return of the evening, as Akio sprinted to the ring – amid, it must be said, rapidly cooling interest from the crowd – and launched himself at the Green Bay grappler. [B]Rating: C-[/B] [B]Akio vs. Ken Kennedy[/B] Akio may not have been very widely known, but this match will have helped raise his profile. He and Kennedy put on a match that looked as though they had been practising for years. Each sequence was crisp, each counter flawless, and even the previously indifferent fans started to root for Akio as he sought to use his speed and nimbleness to evande the larger and stronger Kennedy. Alas, it wasn’t to be, as Kennedy was able to crotch Akio on the top rope, and snatch him up with a Kenton Bomb for the pin. [B]Winner: Ken Kennedy Rating: C+[/B] The Great Khali was arriving backstage with Daivari. While Khali grinned evilly, Daivari produced a lock box, and cackled as he opened, giving a glance at what was inside: The Undertaker’s fabled golden urn, which Daivari claimed to have taken from the Undertaker’s home. [B]Rating: B[/B] Backstage, the Gymini posed and looked mean as Simon Dean promised they would be victorious in their challenge for the tag team titles. [B]Rating: C-[/B] [B]Kendrick & London (c) vs. The Gymini (WWE Tag Team titles)[/B] Kendrick and London showed off their superior timing in this match, several times combining well in a way very reminiscent of the Rockers, fifteen years before. The Gymini were left staggered at the speed of their opponents, and the swiftness with which they could combine to fire off Double Dropsaults and similar combination attacks. However, a double team of their own turned the tide in the Gymini’s favour, as Kendrick was caught in enemy territory and snatched by Jake, allowing Jesse to nail the youngster with a stiff running elbow. Gymini dominated for a few minutes, before the innovative Kendrick took advantage of a miscommunication and landed a variant Double Dropsault – hitting both Gymini on his own. This sparked a run-in by London, and the referee struggled to get London and Jesse back to their corners. He did so just in time to turn around and see Dean joining Jake for a double suplex and, despite the fitness guru’s protests, he disqualified the challengers. [B]Winners, and still champions: Kendrick & London Rating: C+[/B] A video played, hyping up the mysterious, trenchcoat clad stranger, who was shown saving a youngster from a gang beating. [B]Rating: D[/B] Steve Romero was backstage with Rey Mysterio. “Rey, you’ve had your problems with Mark Henry, and he has beaten you recently. Are you confident going into your rematch at the Great American Bash.” “Most definitely. Mark Henry is a big man, and strong too – there’s no denying that. But when he beat me a few weeks ago, he was a surprise challenger. I had no time to prepare for him. Now I can study him, watch his moves, find his pattern of attack and work out ways to neutralise it. “And you think you can beat him?” “I know I can.” Mysterio shifted the World title on his shoulder. “If I didn’t believe that I could beat anyone who steps in the ring with me, I wouldn’t deserve this belt.” [B]Rating: C+ Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Vito (World Heavyweight title)[/B] Rey showed why he was champion in this match, weathering Vito’s early, power-based attacks and firing back with his own, speed-based moves. The match was short and to the point, Mysterio gaining the advantage after an opening burst by Vito, and then never relinquishing it. He wrapped up the victory with a 619 before pinning the man in women’s clothing. [B]Winner, and still champion: Rey Mysterio Rating: C+[/B] Backstage, Gunner Scott and Josh Matthews talked over Scott’s upcoming match with Finlay. Scott promised victory – although he acknowledged that Finlay was much more experienced and a very tough competitor. [B]Rating: C- Gunner Scott vs. Finlay[/B] Gunner tried to take the match to Finlay, but the Belfast tough guy held his own easily enough. Scott grew frustrated at being unable to make much headway, and when he did manage to put Finlay down with a DDT, made the mistake of going up top far too early in the match. He came off with a double axe handle, but Finlay easily avoided it and snatched Scott into the Celtic Cross. While Scott was able to make the ropes, it was clear that his arms were hurting, and when he tried to take advantage of a tie up by moving into a backslide, Finlay was able to block the hold and reverse it into a second Celtic Cross. Trapped in the middle of the ring, Scott had no choice but to tap out. [B]Winner: Finlay Rating: C+[/B] The Great Khali took to the ring as a casket was wheeled down the aisle by several druids. The casket was slid into the ring, and opened, revealing an empty interior. Khali then took the urn from Daivari and placed it into the casket, before closing the lid. As Khali’s music played, the lights dimmed, and the screens grew dark, before changing to reveal a countdown – 9 days. Unnoticed by Khali and Daivari, the lid of the coffin was rising up, a black gloved hand moving the heavy wood, and as the cameras panned around, up sat The Undertaker. Daivari turned, and freaked, and tugged on Khali’s arm, as Taker climbed from the casket. Khali grabbed him for a chokeslam, but Taker shoved him away, before charging forward with a clothesline that carried Khali backwards over the rope, where he landed on both feet and glared at Taker. Daivari didn’t escape so easily, falling victim to a thunderous chokeslam as Taker never took his eyes from his enemy. [B]Rating: B[/B] [B]Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Mark Henry (WWE United States title)[/B] The two powerhouses attempted to outmuscle one another from the off, resulting in a stalemate that seemed to shake Henry. Lashley then used his considerable speed and mobility advantage to drive Henry back into the corner, but an attempted shoulder charge met nothing but turnbuckle as Henry was able to move – just. Henry then took control of the match, battering the smaller man from pillar to post, and nailing a big splash for a desperately close two count. This brought out King Booker, who exhorted Henry from the aisle, as Lashley struggled to his feet. Booker’s cheers seemed to have the opposite to desired effect, however, as Lashley began to fire back, driving his fists into Henry’s stomach and winding the strongman. Not liking this, Booker snuck closer to the ring. He watched quietly as Lashley managed an impressive bodyslam on Henry for two, but pounced when Lashley sent Henry into the ropes for a powerslam. As he hoisted the big man up, Booker lashed out with his sceptre, catching Lashley across the backs of his knees, and sending him crashing backward with Henry on top. The referee counted to three, and a new United States champion was crowned. [B]Winner, and new champion: Mark Henry Rating: B-[/B] Backstage, Booker and Regal were celebrating the King’s triumph over Lashley. “Listen up, suckas, the King just showed the world that there’s more important things than titles – sometimes. Oh, I could have beaten Lashley for the belt, but I tell you know, it’s better for him to know that I could strike any time, any place.” “Exactly, your majesty,” Regal declared. “Now, as for our match tonight... Well, some idiot with a pillow on his head, and a former champion who gets injured even more easily then y- I mean, than me. I get injured very easily sometimes, you know." “I know,” Booker said, glaring at his partner. “I reckon I could prove it, too. Now shut up, fool, and let’s get out there and do this.” [B]Rating: B-[/B] [B]Batista and Tatanka vs. William Regal and King Booker[/B] Regal and Booker focussed on Tatanka in the early going, seemingly reluctant to face Batista. Batista grew more and more frustrated as Tatanka was systematically dismantled, first by Regal’s superlative technical offence, and then by King Boooker’s high impact brawling. The Native American warrior attempted to fight back, but time and again he was driven back into the corner. As the match wore on, Regal and Booker continued glancing at Batista, apparently waiting for him to lose patience and try and interfere. However, Batista held his peace. As Tatanka kicked out of pin attempt after pin attempt, it was Booker and Regal who grew increasingly frustrated. Eventually, this translated into a mistake, letting Tatanka break free of a sloppy chickenwing attempt by Regal, and tag in his partner. Batista stalked Regal methodically, being careful not to show his back to Booker. Eventually, Regal tried to grapple Batista into stillness, but the big man powered out of the hold with ease, sending Regal sprawling to the mat. Batista pounced, nailing three running clotheslines, before lifting Regal high into the air with a military press. Regal toppled to the mat and quickly rolled into his corner, tagging in King Booker. Booker stepped slowly through the ropes, focusing the whole time on Batista. Booker went straight to the attack, kicking away at Batista with his long legs allowing him to stay out of grappling range, at least until Batista caught his ankle and pulled him close for a trapping belly-to-belly suplex. Booker begged off, as Michael Cole affirmed that “there are no timeouts in wrestling” but Batista seemed to be willing to allow his opponent one, smirking as Booker grovelled, which was all the opportunity William Regal needed to jump him from behind, sending him crashing to the mat as the two heels double-teamed him. Tatanka tried to intervene, but was met by a jumping sidekick from Booker that left him sprawling in the ropes. With the referee’s attention diverted, Queen Sharmell took the opportunity to bring Booker’s sceptre into play once more, cracking the gaudy golden rod over Tatanka’s head. When the referee turned around, he saw Regal with the Regal Stretch clamped in on Tatanka, and seeing no response from Tatanka, called for the bell as Batista dived through the ropes a bare second too late to break it up. [B]Winners: Booker and Regal Rating: B Show overall: B-[/B] * Matches confirmed so far for the Bash: [I]World Championship[/I] Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Mark Henry [I]Punjabi Prison Match[/I] The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali [I]Open Challenge #1[/I] ??? vs. Ken Kennedy [I]Open Challenge #2 – Cruiserweight Championship[/I] ??? vs. Gregory Helms
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Who are the English?????? I must know. It's got to be Steve Lewington and Harry Smith. Oh man that would be sweet. Where the hell is Harry Smith in the real world??? I digress. This is a superb kayfabe diary, it's one of the most believable out there, whilst being clearly all in story. AWESOME!
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[I]OOC: Praise from the maker himself? Get in! But, alas, as much as I would love to have Harry Smith in my game, he's tied to Raw. The English will debut in the first week of August. Watch out for them - all of them... And now for the final SD before the Bash. Prediction contest at the end of the post, if anyone wants to take part.[/I] * ECW had been busy, hoovering up anyone who might have been, could be, or currently is over. The returns of Raven and Rhino are understandable, the debuts of Rene Dupree and Hulk Hogan somewhat less so. Raw was a much better offering than the previous week’s, with a strong main event pitting Cena against Orton. TNA Impact was less impressive – Christian Cage beating Monty Brown in a decent, but not spectacular main event. * [CENTER][B]WWE SmackDown! For Tuesday, Week 3, July 2006 Taped for airing on Friday evening, from the UCF Arena, Orlando, FL, before an audience of 4,372 people[/B][/CENTER] “This is reality! Welcome to the show, everyone, and I hope you enjoy it. I am Mike Mizanin, and to you all I say – Be Miz! “I know you all are wondering what sort of show we have for you, so how does this sound: The Undertaker, making his return to active competition, teaming with Rey Mysterio against the Great Khali and Mark Henry. Add to that Bobby Lashley facing William Regal, and you already have a heck of a show. Ken Kennedy’s open challenge has been accepted by Tajiri, yours truly is looking to settle my recent minor disagreement with Alex Shelley, while General Manager Teddy Long, back from two weeks of scouting new signings, is going to make some announcements about both tonight’s show, and the Great American Bash this Sunday night! “If that doesn’t get your blood pumping, I have one thing to say to you: Bikini contest! Yes, my prayers have been answered – Ashley against Jillian Hall, and, oh, please God, can we please have something skimpy?” [B]Rating: C Mike Mizanin vs. Alex Shelley[/B] Two of SmackDown’s young stars went at it in the show’s opening match. Shelley set the pace in the early going, the more experienced worker beating the reality TV star with a number of innovative moves, and embarrassing Miz with a move known as Total Nonstop Alex – pressups with Miz’ head trapped between his legs. This fired up the Miz, who came back with a string of fast attacks, showing his own skills as he dominated the middle portion of the match. But a mistake allowed Shelley back into the action, and the two exchanged the advantage several times before the time limit expired at the ten-minute mark [B]Rating: C+[/B] Sylvan’s latest travelogue aired, this time showing the Montreal native in his hometown, visiting a skating rink and a bowling alley. “We are the best at both these sports,” he declared. “Come to Montreal! Test your skills!” [B]Rating: C-[/B] Backstage, and Psicosis was gloating over the trouble he’s caused for Super Crazy of late. A tap on his shoulder made him turn around, to find Teddy Long eyeing him speculatively. “You’ve been busy, playa,” Long said. “Dumping on your buddy like that, it takes a lot out of a man. Well, I got your solution right here – you and Super Crazy, one on one, at the Great American Bash. How do you like that?” Not at all, judging by Psicosis’ expression. [B]Rating: C[/B] As Psicosis scuttled off, Teddy turned to the camera. “While I’m in the matchmaking mood, let me just say that I’ve not missed out on events on the show these last few weeks. It seems like Gymini have been doing their best to throw down with the champions – but then they get their chance, bang! They wasted it. “Now that’s too bad, you hear? You had your shot, and you messed it up. It seems like I ought to give someone else a chance to win the titles this Sunday. But it also seems like Kendrick and London, they didn’t get no satisfaction last week. So we’ll have ourselves a rematch at the Bash: Kendrick & London versus Gymini, with the WWE Tag Team titles on the line, on more time.” [B]Rating: C+[/B] [B]Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Simon Dean[/B] Dean entered the match looking smug for his team’s title shot, but he was so wrapped up in his excitement that he failed to notice Scotty’s entrance, and fell victim to a faceplant bulldog, setting him up for an early W-O-R-M-hoo-hoo-hoo... WORM! Writhing in pain from the impact of the move, Dean was easy prey in the first minutes of this match, but managed to say near the ropes and prevent a pinfall, which sapped the energy from the match. Dean managed to regain the advantage when he got the better of a sloppy armlock exchange, and held the advantage until he hit a Spin Doctor for the win. [B]Winner: Simon Dean Rating: C-[/B] Next up was Mr..... Kennedy. Kennedy. The motormouthed wrestler introduced Jillian and Ashley, and for once was surprisingly respectful of the other people in the ring. Ashley went first, stripping off her robe to reveal a camouflage bikini, and Jillian followed with an all-white number. Ashley got the biggest reaction by a mile, to Jillian’s chagrin. [B]Rating: C+[/B] Kennedy stayed in the ring to hype his upcoming match. “So Tajiri is back. I heard he left ‘cos he got tired of getting beat. Let me lay it on the line for you, Tokyo boy: Nothing’s changed. You got beaten by everyone and their sister back then. Hell, even Torrie Wilson beat you, I heard. Now you’re getting in the ring with me? I don’t see it ending happily for you. Why not just come on down and lay down for a short match. You get the night off, I don’t waste my time on the inevitable... You know it makes sense.” [B]Rating: C[/B] [B]Tajiri vs. Ken Kennedy[/B] Tajiri didn’t seem to take to Kennedy’s suggestion, and the match followed a similar pattern to that put on by Kennedy and his compatriot Akio the week before. Tajiri started strongly, nailing Kennedy with stiff kicks and the handspring elbow for a close two count. However, when he went for the elbow again, Kennedy was able to put on the breaks, snatch Tajiri from behind, and plant him with a back suplex. Thus the momentum shifted to Kennedy, who drilled Tajiri with hard punches and clotheslines to keep him on the defensive. The end came with a shift back in Tajiri’s favour, as Kennedy seemed to make a mistake when he strayed too close to the ropes, but the attempted Tarantula was well scouted by Kennedy, who reversed it into a cradle and grabbed the ropes for additional leverage and the pin. [B]Winner: Ken Kennedy Rating: C+[/B] Backstage, and Kristall Marshall was with the Pitbulls, looking a little nervous. “So, guys, what are your plans for the match tonight?” “Devastation,” Kash intoned. “Demolition.” “Beating our opponents until they bleed,” Noble added. “Beating them down, battering at their defences...” “...and flattening them.” “Well... that’s, uh, very interesting. Good luck!” [B]Rating: C Gunner Scott and Funaki vs. The Pitbulls[/B] This match was all Noble and Kash, as they dominated their opponents from bell to bell. They battered the irregular pairing, using quick tags to keep themselves fresh and to disorient the other team. The match reached its predictable conclusion with a Dommsday Device on Scott, allowing Noble to take the win. [B]Winners: The Pitbulls Rating: C+[/B] Finlay came to the ring. “Batista, Batista, can ya hear me back there, son? Listen here, you’ve been sticking your nose in me King’s business of late. I’m not having that, lad. So come and face me, if you’ve got it in you. The Bash, do you hear? One on one.” [B]Rating: C+[/B] Batista appeared at the top of the ramp, and soaked up the crowd’s booming reaction for a few moments. “Is that really what you want? Do you even remember what happened two weeks back? If you’re that eager to get your ass kicked again-“ He held out a fist, thumb pointed sideways, and slowly rotated it to give a thumbs up. [B]Rating: B+[/B] Steve Romero was backstage with Brian Kendrick. “I guess I can understand why Psicosis wants to face me – my style is pretty similar to Super Crazy’s. We’re both hard living, hard partying, hard wrestling sons of guns. And I’m happy to face him. He may be nothing like Jake or Jesse in terms of style, or look anything like him, or... wait, why am I facing Psicosis again?” He looked offscreen, from where we could hear someone laughing. “Paul? Hey, did you mess with the booking sheet again?” Kendrick walked off, looking half-amused, half-exasperated. [B]Rating: C-[/B] [B]Brian Kendrick vs. Psicosis[/B] The match between the two cruiserweights was evenly paced, with both men taking it in turns to go airborne. Kendrick focused his attack on Psicosis’ head, nailing a superkick and a dropsault early on, and adding a brainbuster for good measure. Psicosis tried to soften up Kendrick’s back, with a backbreaker and gutwrench sideslam. As the match wore on, Kendrick started to pull ahead on points, drilling Psicosis with a DDT before landing a second rope legdrop and stalking his opponent. As Psicosis rose, Kendrick closed in and hit the always-impressive Sliced Bread #2 for the win. [B]Winner: Brian Kendrick Rating: C+[/B] William Regal was in the ring, hyping his upcoming match. “This Lashley mutt has been bothering King Booker of late, and that simply will not do. Where I come from, we do not take kindly to assault on royalty – why, that’s what the Tower of London is for. However, as we’re not really close enough to make use of the block, I’ve decided to settle for the next best thing. Lashley, come out here, and I’ll teach you a few lessons, you bloody upstart, before you face King Booker on Sunday.” [B]Rating; C+ Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal[/B] The two men traded limblocks to begin this match, teasing one another slowly as each sought for an advantage. Lashley took the first lead, planting Regal with a back suplex, but Regal was able to block the follow up and roll through into an ankle lock. Lashley kicked free of this, and instead sought to use his strength advantage. This worked for a few minutes, but Regal seemed to be testing his opponent, finally tricking Lashley into overextending himself. Regal seized the advantage with an STF, trapping Lashley in the centre of the ring, and locking in the hold for an agonising sixty seconds before Lashley managed to power free. He was noticeably limping as he went back on the attack, and Regal targeted his weakened knee – a knee previously injured in an attack by Booker, Finlay and Regal. However, as the match wore on, Lashley seemed to gain in strength, and at one point threw Regal halfway across the ring as he tried to apply a figure four leglock. Regal seemed to realise that he was in trouble as Lashley smirked down at him. He tried to beg off, but Lashley was having none of it, snatching Regal up and driving him into the mat with a bodyslam. From that point on, it was all Lashley, as he dominated Regal with power move after power move, before finishing the match with, appropriately, a Dominator. [B]Winner: Bobby Lashley Rating: B-[/B] Backstage, Teddy Long was in his office. “Seems like William Regal likes to jump the gun. Well, that’s fine. Yes, you’ll be seeing Lashley face King Booker at the Bash. And I think we’ll find Regal an interesting opponent real soon, and I know you all know what I’m saying.” [B]Rating: B[/B] Backstage, Rey Mysterio is about to be interviewed by Josh Matthews when Batista enters the room. “Hey, Rey. I see you’re teaming with Undertaker tonight.” “That’s right. Me and the Dead Man. Should be an interesting match.” “You okay going up against Khali and Mark Henry? I know they kinda battered you a few weeks back. “No, that’s no problem,” Rey replied, smiling. “Those times, I had no preparation. I can do this, and I’ve got a hell of a guy watching my back.” “I guess you do. Okay, well, take care, man. I don’t want you getting hurt before I get my chance at the belt!” Batista left with a laugh, as Rey looked after him, slightly surprised. “Rey? Would you be willing to face Batista in a World title match?” “I... don’t know,” Rey said, slowly. “I never really thought about it before. But I’m a fighting champion, Josh. I’ll face anyone. I just don’t really like facing my friends, you know? It never seems to end well.” Rey shook his head. “But tonight I have to focus on this match. Henry and Khali are tough – I know that better than anyone. But I’ve been in the ring with them. I know how they work. I know I can beat them – especially if Undertaker has my back.” [B]Rating: B-[/B] Daivari was backstage with the Great Khali as Mark Henry walked up. “Khali, you got the Taker, and I got Mysterio, you got it? You don’t get in my way, and I won’t get in yours.” Khali growled something, which Daivari chose to translate as being an acceptance of Henry’s terms. [B]Rating: B[/B] [B]The Undertaker and Rey Mysterio vs. The Great Khali and Mark Henry[/B] Henry and Taker began this match, each man demanding that the other tag in his partner. Eventually, they made do and locked up, forcing a stalemate as neither man could move the other. The two men, who had faced off at WrestleMania, broke off and glared at each other. They traded several right hands, booming shots that would have felled a lesser man, but neither man was shaken. Eventually, Henry grew frustrated and tagged in Khali. The tallest of the competitors stepped over the top rope, glaring at Taker, before launching a backhanded chop that sent the Dead Man staggering back into the ropes. Khali reached out his long arms and seized Taker by the throat, hoisting him up. Mysterio ran along the apron and leapt up onto the top rope, springboarding into a West Coast Pop that brought all three men crashing down to the mat. This brought Henry into the ring, charging across the ring and trying to boot Mysterio’s head clean off his shoulders. Fortunately for the champ, the blow was only glancing, but still enough to flip him over and leave him flat on his back as Khali and Taker clambered to their feet. Taker charged the larger man, clotheslining him into the ropes. Taker then tried to close in and punch away at Khali’s bare chest, but Khali seized him by the air and delivered a brutal headbutt that sent Taker to his knees. As Henry bounced off the ropes and delivered a thunderous big splash to the prone Mysterio, Khali threw Taker through the ropes and followed him out to ringside. Fortunately for the champ, he was able to kick out on two, but this only resulted in him being left open to further punishment. Battered and groggy, he was military pressed by Henry, and dropped fully eight feet to the mat. Henry soon followed, dropping a meaty elbow to the small of Mysterio’s back, which made the champion arc backwards and cry out in pain. Henry grinned sadistically as Khali hammered away at Taker on the outside, beating the Dead Man around the ring ruthlessly. Henry placed the toe of his boot under Mysterio’s chest and flipped him over. Bouncing off the ropes again, he delivered a second elbow drop, this time coming down in the centre of Mysterio’s ribs. The champ jerked, but was silent. Smirking, Henry picked up the smaller man and delivered a World’s Strongest Slam, but to his shock only got two as Mysterio just lifted his shoulder in time. Mysterio was unable to move much more than that, however, and when Henry bounced off the ropes again and delivered a second splash, Rey couldn’t avoid it. Henry, keen to be sure of his victory, hooked his legs onto the second rope for added leverage as the referee counted to three and the Undertaker and Khali fought their way up the aisle. [B]Winners: Khali and Henry Rating: B Show overall: C+[/B] * [CENTER]Matches confirmed for the Bash: [I]World Championship – Champion vs. Champion[/I] Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Mark Henry [I]Punjabi Prison Match[/I] The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali [I]Open Challenge #1[/I] ??? vs. Ken Kennedy [I]Open Challenge #2 – Cruiserweight Championship[/I] ??? vs. Gregory Helms Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker Batista vs. Finlay Super Crazy vs. Psicosis [I]World Tag Team Championship[/I] Kendrick & London (c) vs. The Gymini[/CENTER] Tie breaker: Which match will be the longest? Predictions welcome! If I get enough of them, I’ll even turn it into a contest. Winner will get to pick the winner of a big match at SummerSlam.
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World Championship – Champion vs. Champion [B]Rey Mysterio (c)[/B] vs. Mark Henry Punjabi Prison Match The Undertaker vs. [B]The Great Khali[/B] Open Challenge #1 ??? vs. [B]Ken Kennedy[/B] Open Challenge #2 – Cruiserweight Championship [B]??? [/B]vs. Gregory Helms Bobby Lashley vs. [B]King Booker[/B] [B]Batista[/B] vs. Finlay Super Crazy vs. [B]Psicosis[/B] World Tag Team Championship [B]Kendrick & London (c)[/B] vs. The Gymini Batista vs Finlay to be the longest. WE WANT THE ENGLISH, WE WANT THE ENGLISH. It better not be Regal and Dave!
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[I]OOC: A minor amendment - The English will debut in August, Week 3. The SmackDown shows in the weeks before that have been too stacked to fit them in. And it's not Regal or Dave Taylor - although Regal's naturally involved with one on the debutants... Anyway, TCP wins the contest by default ;). You'll get a PM in the next day or two telling you which match is yours to book. On with the show...[/I] * The build-up to the show was in full swing. King Booker was stretching his long legs over a chair. Finlay and William Regal were discussing an idea that Theodore Long had put to them. Sharmell was networking, the attention of Kash, Noble and Dean all fixed on her as she spoke quietly to them. Long closed the door of the locker room and walked further down the hall, stifling the urge to sneak a peek around the door of the Diva’s dressing room. That sort of thing was better left well alone, as tempting as it may have been. At the end of the hall was the other locker room, home to the rest of the roster, who couldn’t be trusted to share the same room as the others. Teddy looked around the door, to see Rey Mysterio stretching, London and Kendrick playing Go, Mike Mizanin and Tajiri shadow boxing, and the rest of the wrestlers relaxing and preparing for the show. [B][CENTER]WWE Great American Bash, Sunday, Week 3, July 2006 Live from the FleetCenter, New England, before an audience of 26,119 people and 411,407 viewers[/CENTER][/B] “This is real! It doesn’t get any realer than this – and I should know! I am the Miz, and welcome to the Great American Bash! FleetCenter, make some noise! “I know that Tony Chimel just ran through the card for you all, so I won’t do that. No need to step on the big man’s toes, huh? But can I just say how psyched I am about tonight’s show? I mean, the best wrestlers in the world are right here, right now.” A beat, as Miz grinned at the camera. “And I’ll be joining them.” [B]Rating: C[/B] At ringside, Michael Cole and JBL hyped the opening match. “JBL, these two young stars have been at each other’s throats for weeks now, ever since their team went south. How far do you think they’re willing to go tonight to try and finish each other off?” “Well, let me tell you something, Cole. I’ve been watching these guys for a while. I know they’re just thugs. I know that we’re gonna see a whole lot of nasty moves, a lotta cheating, and absolutely no mercy even though, maybe even because, these two guys were so tight just a few weeks ago.” [B]Rating: C Super Crazy vs. Psicosis[/B] Psicosis entered second, and Super Crazy didn’t wait for the bell to attack his former friend – in fact, he didn’t even wait for Psicosis to enter the ring. As Psicosis came down the aisle, Crazy threw himself through the ropes, flattening is ex-partner. The two men brawled around the ring for a few moments after they regained their feet. Psicosis rained shots in on Crazy’s skull, before sending him into the ringpost headfirst. Crazy was down, and the referee reached eight before he was able to regain his feet. As he tried to climb back into the ring, he was met by a baseball slide, sending him crashing back into the guardrail. For a long spell after that, Psicosis dominated, using the opportunity to unleash an impressive arsenal of innovative aerial offence. From the top rope, he floored Crazy with a flying crossbody and a missile dropkick, as well as hitting a spinning heel kick and a leaping clothesline on the ground. However, Crazy refused to lie down, and slowly began to fight his way back into it. As the match passed the nine-minute mark, he finally managed to parlay his rising momentum into control of the match, blitzing Psicosis with a piledriver after blocking a backdrop attempt, and getting within a hair’s breadth of a pin. Crazy then took his turn to wow the crowd, with a hop-up moonsault and a twisting senton the highlights, before going for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker that left Psicosis immobilised in the centre of the ring. With his opponent down, Crazy went back up top and launched himself into a moonsault that, unfortunately for him, caught nothing but knees. As he rolled clear, Psicosis dragged himself upright and caught Crazy with a stiff dropkick to the side of the head. Crazy staggered to his, but stumbled back into the ropes, and as he bounced off them, Psicosis hit a flying forearm, before making the cover with his feet on the middle rope. The referee counted to three, and we had a winner. [B]Winner: Psicosis in 13:32 Rating: C[/B] [I]It’s coming home It’s coming home It’s coming Football’s coming home It’s coming home It’s coming home It’s coming Football’s coming home Three lions on the shirt Jules Rimet still gleaming No more years of hurt No more need for dreaming[/I] The screens faded to black, before flashing up, in red and white, [I][B]The English are coming...[/B][/I] [B]Rating: E[/B] Backstage, and the first big reaction of the night, as Batista and King Booker approach each other along a narrow corridor. There was not enough room for both men to pass – one would have to give way. The two glared at each other for several second. “After you,” Batista said at last, making way. “Damn right, fool, and about time too,” the King said, passing by. He was prevented from going any further as Batista seized his ermine collar. “Fool?” “Unhand me, commoner.” “You know, you really need to get over yourself.” “I said-“ Booker twisted and landed a right hook on Batista’s jaw “-unhand me!” Batista did so, but only so that he in turn could land a thunderous right hook on Booker’s jaw. “Hey hey hey hey hey! Break it up, dawgs, right now. Y’hearing me?” Teddy Long stepped between the two, the narrow hallway posing no problem for a man of his size. “You want to work out your differences, do it in the ring-“ “Good idea, Teddy. Batista, you and-“ “And don’t be cutting me off like I was one of your subjects, neither,” Teddy snapped. “You are both already booked for tonight’s show. I’m not running the risk of you two beating the hell out of each other and me having to say that we’ve cancelled two matches to give the paying public one. No sir. What you both can do, as you’re such big, tough, strong men, is this: Have a pose down. And whichever one of you wins, well, he gets right of way in any hallways you two might meet up in in the future.” Long marched off, leaving Booker and Batista to share a look of surprise at his pronouncement. [B]Rating: B[/B] “Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Before you stands a modern day hero, a Herucles, an Achilles, a veritable Ulysses. He weighs in at 247 pounds, having completed an intense cardio-vascular program just this afternoon. He hails from Green Bay, Wisconsin. Mr... Kenn-e-dy! “Kennedy!” [B]Rating: C Mike Mizanin vs. Ken Kennedy[/B] Before the commentators could even speculate on Kennedy’s opponent, the Miz himself came back to the ring, his music booming over the P.A. as he walked down the aisle, staring a hole in the larger man. Kennedy tried to go to work immediately, his aggressiveness having paid dividends in previous matches. This time, though, he fell victim to a quicker opponent, as Mizanin evaded Kennedy’s attacks again and again. Eventually, Kennedy lost his cool and dared Mizanin to attack him. Big mistake. Mizanin snapped off a superkick that caught Kennedy flush under the jaw, snapping his head back and sending him crashing to the mat. Miz was on him quickly, a leaping legdrop knocking the wind from Kennedy while a series of clubbing blows to the face and chest kept him occupied. Kennedy was finally able to break free by almost doubling himself over and hooking Miz with his legs, rolling him back into a pinning predicament that Miz was quick to escape from. With the advantage of a second or two to collect himself, though, Kennedy was quick to catch Miz across the face with his boot, sending the younger man sprawling backwards as Kennedy stood back up, shaking his head to clear it. Miz was also quick to his feet, and tried a dropkick, but Kennedy saw it coming and swatted him away. Miz crashed, and Kennedy pounced, dropping an elbow on Miz’s sternum before drilling him in the temple with three knee drops. Miz climbed slowly to his feet, groggy and swinging wildly, and this time Kennedy was the one evading the attacks as Miz tried to clear his head. Alas for the Miz, it wasn’t to be. Kennedy whipped him into the corner chest first, and as Miz stumbled backwards, drilled him with a reverse DDT. Picking up his prone opponent, Kennedy mounted the turnbuckles, taking all the time in the world, before drilling him with a Kenton Bomb for the pin [B]Winner: Ken Kennedy in 11:42 Rating: C+[/B] Booker and Batista came out for their pose down contest. Booker went first, running through a full series of poses, including the lunge, the thinker, the Atlas, and the point. Batista took off his shirt. And won. [B]Rating: A[/B] Backstage, Michelle McCool was perched on the edge of a desk, giving everyone the chance to admire her profile. “I get a lot of people writing in to ask me; ‘Michelle, how do you stay looking so good? My husband won’t touch me anymore, not after our fourth child was born.’ “Ladies, I’m here to off you some advice as to how to avoid that sort of situation. “First, don’t have children – they only spoil your figure. “Second, don’t get married. All men end up old, boring, and limp if they get married. Play the field for as long as you can. The only man I’d ever consider marrying would be Sean Connery – and there’s only one of him. The rest of the world is my playground, and it should be yours, too. “Ladies, if you want a satisfying sex life, you won’t find it with one man, not for life. Monogamy? It’s an outdated concept, only good for getting the boring and broody women out of my way while I try and decide which man is going to treat me tonight. “I wouldn’t trade my life for that of anyone else – well, except maybe Angelina, and she has all those children to put up with as well. To sum up, if you want a life and a look as fabulous as mine, you have to work at it. Of course, there’s an excellent way to burn calories that I have access to whenever I want, which a lot of you don’t. That’s why I’m strictly an A*, and you’re all Cs and Ds.” [B]Rating: D[/B] Simon Dean was backstage with his clients, Jake and Jesse. “This,” he declared, slapping Jake’s pectoral muscle, “is the Simon System in action, oh yes. Less than 2% body fat, right here. Sheer physical fitness, awesome strength, and talent by the bucketload. You’re looking at the next champions, right here.” [B]Rating: C Kendrick & London vs. The Gymini[/B] The twins looked anything but talented in the early stages of this match, as Kendrick and London ran rings around them. When Jake caught London with a brutal clothesline, however, the momentum shifted and it was time for the Gymini to take charge. This they did, throwing their opponents about as easily as they would their boxes of Simon System Shakes. However, in never seeking to prevent their opponents tagging in and out, they allowed them to recuperate, and while the champions took a beating, they were able to trade off frequently enough to protect themselves from the worst of it, never coming closer to losing than a “barely two” by Michael Cole’s count. Steadily, the champs made their way back into the match, isolating Jesse long enough for Kendrick to hop into the ring and whip him into the corner, before dropping to all fours and acting as the springboard for London to hit Poetry in Motion. This brought Jake into the fray, but Kendrick was ready, hitting a Cactus clothesline that took both men over the top rope and onto Dean below. In the ring, London whipped Jesse into the ropes and hit a picture-perfect Dropsault on his return that snapped his head back and brought him crashing to the ground. London was quick to cover for the pin and the win. [B]Winners, and still champions: London & Kendrick in 10:36 Rating: C+[/B] Mark Henry glowered at the camera backstage. “It’s time for me to achieve my goals. For ten years I’ve worked to be the strongest, the toughest, and the best. And tonight I prove myself. Tonight I wrap my hands around Rey Mysterio, and snap him in two. You thought that you felt bad when I pounded you before, Rey? You’ve not felt anything yet, believe me.” [B]Rating: C+[/B] Jillian Hall was backstage, with a copy of the new SmackDown magazine. She shows the cover, with her on it, in a nurse’s outfit, and gives a brief glimpse of her pictorial on the inside. “If you want to see the real thing, head to your nearest newsstand,” she purred. [B]Rating: C[/B] “Our esteemed General Manager,” Gregory Helms began, from the centre of the ring, “has finally started to listen. He knows that I’m the greatest cruiserweight alive. He knows that I can face anyone and win, and he think that he should provide a real challenge for me, and make sure I’m worthy of holding this belt.” He hefted the Cruiserweight title for all to see. “Send who you will, Long. I know that you’ve been bragging about who you’ve got backstage. Someone I’ve never beaten, you say. Well, bring them on. Someone I’ve never beaten? I only have to face them once to change that.” [B]Rating: C+[/B] Next up was Teddy Long, looking very pleased with himself. “Helms, you know what? You’re right. It only takes one match. Tonight, you might become a legend, or you might walk out of here with no gold around your waist. This is SmackDown, playa, and one way or another, I’ll enjoy finding out how you do. Now, I guess you’re gonna want to know who your opponent is, am I right?” Helms nodded. “I thought so. He’s wrestled in ECW, WCW, and WWE. He’s held the tag team titles in ECW and WWE, been a United States and Intercontinental champion and, yes, he’s held that belt you have there. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Lance Storm!” [B]Rating: C+ Lance Storm vs. Gregory Helms (c) (WWE Cruiserweight title)[/B] Helms was on the backfoot from the off in this match, with the vastly-experienced Storm utilising his considerable talent to outwrestle the younger man. Storm, as taciturn as ever, seemed to take enjoyment from twisting the champion in as many painful ways as possible, and before too long Helms was limping badly on his left leg. However, Storm hadn’t been able to injure Helms in his cheating muscles, and the wily champion took advantage of an unsighted referee to boot Storm in the crotch, dropping the Canadian superstar to his knees, with Storm displaying more emotion in those few seconds than he had in the whole match to that point. Helms slowly went to work, shaking loose the kinks in his arms and legs that Storm’s vicious limblocks had inflicted. Helms hoisted Storm high into the air with a flapjack and came off the second rope with a kneedrop to the back of the Canadian’s head that did some major damage and earned him a two count. Storm struggled to his feet to be met with an attempted chokeslam, but without his Hurri-strength, Helms was unable to lift his opponent. Storm was able to push Helms away, and snap off a superkick that sent Helms to the ropes, but left the weary Storm on one knee. Helms used the ropes for added momentum as he came back, stepping up onto Helms leg and nailing a Shining Wizard for the surprisingly clean win. [B]Winner, and still champion: Gregory Helms in 11:34 Rating: C+[/B] Backstage, The Undertaker and The Great Khali came face to face. With Daivari braying on from the sidelines, it looked for a second as though the two men would come to blows, but instead they were swarmed by a host of midcard talent, who kept the men from fighting. [B]Rating: B[/B] Backstage, Batista was smiling into the camera. “So, tonight is the night. Tonight, I take on the fighting Irishman, Finlay. Let’s get this clear, Irish. You won’t beat me – you can’t. You see, you’re just a two-cent thug, out for hire to anyone who can keep you in Guinness and midgets. You’re a bully, without the brains to pick your own targets, so you rely on King Booker to tell who and when to try and intimidate next. Problem is, I don’t intimidate easy. Or, in fact, at all. Get yourself ready, Finlay, because tonight you’re going to take a big, big fall.” [B]Rating: B[/B] [B]Batista vs. Finlay[/B] These two noted tough guys kicked off their match as they went on, with hi-tempo, hi-impact moves that would have broken weaker men in two. Neither men held back as they slugged one another with their hardest shots, going back and forth, neither man asking nor giving any quarter. Something had to give, and in the end it was Finlay’s nerve, as he bailed from the ring and went for his shillelagh, only for Batista to be close behind. Batista snatched the rod from Finlay’s hands, and without much effort snapped it clean in two. More than anything else, this seemed to shake Finlay, and he scrambled back into the ring, with Batista hot on his heels. Seemingly sacrificing his attempt to outmuscle his opponent, Finlay tried to outwrestle Batista, but when he managed to place Batista in a front facelock, Batista managed to power his way into a reversal, and hit a snap suplex that shook the ring. Finlay popped right up, seemingly out of shock as much as anything else, and bounced off the ropes in an attempt to catch Batista unawares. But Batista was not to be surprised, and used Finlay’s momentum against him, catching him up and spinning him around before driving him into the mat with a thunderous Spinebuster for the pin. [B]Winner: Batista in 10:06 Rating: B-[/B] A video played showing the man in the long coat on a rooftop across from the FleetCenter. “You’ve known me all my life, it seems. You’ve seen my highest highs, and lowest lows. You’ve watched as I lost my way. Now watch as I reclaim my path. I am reborn. I am righteous. I am justice. “I am watching.” [B]Rating: C-[/B] “This is Life Through A Lens, and I am your host, Alex Shelley. Joining me today is a true legend of our sport, with an almost uncountable list of achievements. He’s been a World champion twice, and is regarded as one of the best wrestlers to ever set foot in the ring. “Of course, nowadays, he’s lucky to set foot anywhere, as he’s so banged up. Still, I guess we should probably pretend he’s worth caring about. Ladies and gentlemen, a little sympathy, please, for Chris Benoit.” Chris Benoit came down to the ring, certainly not looking as badly injured as Shelley suggested, but also not looking like the Crippler of old. “Hey, Chris, welcome. Good for you to be here, huh?” “Yeah, it’s nice to hear the cheers again,” Benoit said carefully, an eyebrow half-raised as he looked at Shelley. “Uhuh, fascinating. Listen, a lot of people want to know if you’re ever going to be back in the ring. You know, I have to admit, I didn’t know you had so many fans.” “Well-“ “I mean, this guy here says he’s your biggest fan, ever since you broke Sabu’s neck all those years ago.” “That-“ “And here we have a guy who says he respects you for stealing another man’s wife. Is that true? Did you really do that?” “I-“ “Jeez, Chris, I didn’t know you were such a dick.” “Listen to me, you little-“ That was as far as Benoit got. A slim figure vaulted the guard rail and slid into the ring, leaping up and landing a spinkick to Benoit’s jaw. The man paused as Benoit crashed to the mat, giving the crowd a chance to look at him. Of average height but well-toned, he was completely bald, with a stare that looked as though it could go through steel. A stare that, at that moment, was fixed squarely on the struggling Benoit. As Benoit pushed himself up onto all fours, the slim man set himself to strike. As Benoit rose to his knees, he did strike, lashing out with a kick that cracked across Benoit’s chest with a snap that echoed through the arena. Benoit crashed backward like a toppled redwood, as the slim man snatched the microphone from Shelley, who quickly stepped backwards out of range. “The time of the warrior is now – Low Ki has come to SmackDown!” [B]Rating: C[/B] As the ring was cleared, a video played hyping up the long history between Bobby Lashley and King Booker. [B]Rating: C+[/B] [B]Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker[/B] As with the match between Lashley and Batista, this was high impact brawling from start to finish, with the two men showing their increasing familiarity with each other with a series of neat reversals around the four minute mark that emphasised how well scouted they had one another. The two men fired back and forth with hard blows and power moves, including Lashley military pressing an obviously terrified King Booker in the centre of the ring, holding him aloft for several seconds in an awesome display of strength. But Booker soon regained the advantage, thanks to the presence of his wife, Queen Sharmell, who saved her man from a Dominator attempt when she leapt into the ring and seized Booker’s legs before the move could be completed. When Lashley turned to chase her off, Booker nailed him with a low blow, and tossed him from the ring. Taking the chance to catch his breath, Booker followed shortly after, and whipped Lashley into the corner post, before setting him up for a Book End through the announcer’s table. As Cole and JBL cleared decks, the referee stepped in between Booker and his target, and threatened disqualification. It was Booker’s turn to be distracted, as he argued with the ref while Lashley rolled into the ring and got his breath back. When Booker followed, still jawing at the ref, Lashley met him with a hard clothesline. Sending him into the ropes, Lashley nailed a spinning belly-to-belly suplex for a two, before hauling the King up and into position for the Dominator again. However, before he could lift his opponent up, he was shoved into the rope. Bouncing back, he caught a sidekick to the face that sent him staggering in a circle, coming to a halt doubled over, in prime position for Booker to deliver a Scissors Kick. However, when Booker attempted it, Lashley was ready, and just as Booker was about to leap, Lashley caught him around the waist. Lifting as he spun, Lashley drilled Booker into the mat in the centre of the ring with a powerful Devastator, and fell on top for the pin. [B]Winner: Bobby Lashley in 12:55 Rating: B[/B] Somewhere dark and quiet, The Undertaker was staring a hole in the camera. “Khali, the time is now...” [B]Rating: B[/B] Daivari was with Khali in the middle of the ring. “I know that all you ignoramuses have been wondering about the rules of the Punjabi Prison Match. In a Punjabi prison, the guards and the prisoners fight until one is unable to stand. Anything is legal, there are no rules, except one: If a man cannot meet a ten count, he has lost. Khali has been in a Punjabi prison – and he has never lost. Undertaker, you say the time is now? No, the time is ten seconds after you step in the ring, and The Great Khali beats you into unconsciousness!” [B]Rating: B-[/B] [B]The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali (Punjabi Prison Match)[/B] The match lasted rather longer than the ten seconds predicted by Daivari, as Undertaker gave as good as he got in the opening exchanges, even going Old School inside the first two minutes. However, no matter what the Undertaker did, Khali would not stay down. After five minutes, neither man had even so much as heard a ‘One!’ from the referee. That is, until Khali suddenly seized Taker by the throat and delivered a thundering chokeslam that had the referee count to six before Taker rose again. If Taker’s plan was to beat Khali early, it seemed that he had no backup plan. Khali tossed him from pillar to post for the next several minutes, earning several more counts, including one on which Taker only sat up on nine. However, it seemed that Khali made a mistake when he missed a corner charge, and when he staggered out of the corner, Taker scooped him up and delivered a crunching Tombstone as the fans cheered, convinced that it was the end. Khali sat up on one. Taker was quick to close in again, clamping hand on Khali’s throat as the larger man rose, but Khali brushed his arm aside easily, and clasped both his hands around Taker’s neck. With barely a hint of effort, he lifted the three-hundred-thirty pound Undertaker high into the air and drove him down into the canvas so hard that the ring shifted visibly. Smirking evilly, Khali stood over his fallen foe, apparently certain of victory. However, incredibly, Undertaker sat up on nine. Apparently Daivari had anticipated this, as he slid a chair into the ring. Khali waited for the Undertaker to labour his way upright, before seizing him again. Undertaker offered no defence as he was lifted up and driven down, this time onto the steel chair. This time, there was no beating the count. [B]Winner: The Great Khali in 10:31 Rating: B[/B] Backstage, a number of workers were having a drinking contest. Gunner Scott was out early, with Scotty 2 Hotty following soon after. Tatanka did well, before fading quickly. Sylvan remained impressively coherent until he passed out in a snap. It was left to Burchill and Regal, with Regal looking more and more unwell, before finally having to dash from the room. Burchill celebrated his victory, before turning to the camera and revealing a bottle of liquid laxative, with which he’d spiked Regal’s drink. [B]Rating: C[/B] Mark Henry was in the ring. “Get out here, Mysterio. I’m done waiting. Get in this ring now, or I’ll come looking for you.” [B]Rating: B-[/B] As ordered, Mysterio appeared at the top of the ramp, while Michael Cole hyped him up, listing his achievements in his home country and in the States. [B]Rating: C+[/B] [B]Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Mark Henry (World title)[/B] Rey used hit and run tactics to start the match, as JBL screamed abuse at him. Henry stayed mostly in the centre of the ring, letting Mysterio tire himself out without having to exert himself. Eventually, Mysterio’s luck ran out, as he faked left but went right, and Henry guessed correctly. The result was a thundering powerslam that left Mysterio down and pained for several long moments as Henry taunted him, before bouncing off the ropes for a big splash that would have brought the match to an abrupt end, had Mysterio not evaded it – barely. Henry hurled Mysterio into the corner and charged in with an attempted avalanche, but Mysterio was able to raise his legs to catch Henry in the face. Such was Rey’s momentum, however, that he was still squashed into the corner, and he hung there as though mounted on a hunter’s wall. Henry, meanwhile, staggered backwards, before trying the charge again. This time Rey just dropped to the mat – whether deliberately or not is unclear – and Henry ran full tilt into the turnbuckles. Msyterio tried to trip him into position for the 619, but Henry walked right through the attempted drop toehold, clutching at his chest. Mysterio pulled himself up by the ropes, breathing heavily, and charged at Henry from behind, leaping at the last second to catch him in the rump with a dropkick. Henry staggered forward, but didn’t go over. Rey leapt again, this time catching Henry in the small of the back, which doubled the larger man over – temporarily. Henry spun around, snarling anger and defiance as Mysterio made the mistake of attempting a spinning wheel kick, only for Henry to catch him with ease, and smash him down into the mat with a body slam. Henry placed one foot contemptuously on Mysterio’s chest, getting a two count before lifting it again and kicking Mysterio hard in the side of the head. He then picked up the champ and lifted him up as though into a vertical suplex with a long, long delay, before dropping down with a brainbuster that left Rey flat and unmoving on the mat. Henry covered, but Rey’s foot was under the rope. Henry barked at the ref, and Rey rolled over, and out of the ring. Henry followed, which proved to be a mistake, as Mysterio had scuttled around the corner. Henry chased, but Mysterio was nowhere to be seen. Mysterio continued to run, Henry tailing after him, less fleet of foot, but with much longer legs. The race was about even, but Mystero had a head start, and halfway around the second time, he put on the brakes and lay in wait for Henry to get in range. When he did, Mysterio pounced, a ringpost 619 sending Henry crashing backwards to the ground as Mysterio kicked him flush in the face. Mysterio dragged himself back into the ring as Henry staggered back upright, but when Henry climbed back into the ring, the champ was nowhere to be seen. Turning in a long, slow circle, Henry failed to see Rey popping back into view behind him, nor did he see Rey climb up onto the apron, nor Rey leap up onto the top rope. The first that Henry saw was Mysterio bouncing off the top tope and leaping across the ring, to land astride his shoulders with a West Coast Pop and send him crashing backward to the mat. So great was Henry’s momentum that he nearly rolled all the way over, but as Rey hooked his legs, and as the referee began his count, the momentum ceased, and Henry began to topple back the other way, a process that took exactly three seconds, at which time Henry sat upright, Rey having vaulted off his shoulders as soon as the referee’s hand struck the mat for the third time. [B]Winner, and still champion: Rey Mysterio in 10:38 Rating: A Show overall: B[/B] * At the same time as the Great American Bash was taking place, TNA was holding No Surrender, a card which was about equal to the Bash, although it featured twelve matches to the Bash’s nine. Coincidentally or otherwise, it drew about two-thirds of the fans and PPV buys as the Bash... [I]OOC: On our next show, the mysterious man reveals his identity, Low Ki makes his SmackDown debut, Ken Kennedy and Batista get title shots, and William Regal has an idea. Keep it SmackDown, folks![/I]
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Damn you used Burchill, so much for him being in the British squad. Only ones I can think of are Doug Williams & Nigel McGuiness But this is assuming they're tied in with the ROH talent swap. First thing I thought when you mentioned Regal was involved with one of them was Robbie Brookside. Other than trying to work out who the British team are, I'm really enjoying this dynasty. Keep it going. .....oh and my guess for mystery man is the Re-debut of Matt Hardy
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I have to say this is a very good diary. You have a nack for writing and the little backstage really keeps things interesting. Im not a WWE fan anymore as Ive gotten sick of the same ol thing, however this diary has peaked my interest once again and I might just check out Smackdown (Ive seen a couple of episodes of Raw and my god are you kidding me. DX is a shell of its former self)
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[I]OOC: Thanks for all the comments, and I'm glad to have piqued a few people's interests. Burchill, as much as I love him, has to stay on his own. While an individual pirate wrestler works great, a pirate stable would be too over the top - even for me. Some interesting speculation on the Englishmen entering, but bear in mind that they're unknowns in the US (mostly...) so won't be making a huge splash immediately. Someone who will make a huge splash, on the other hand, will be debuting in two weeks, and whose appearance in the game is the spark for Vince taking an interest in SD after being humiliated on Raw by DX. For now, though, kudos to fordc76. No prizes, but he guessed right on who the Angelic Diablo is. No mention of the scar, though... :rolleyes: [/I] * In a move that made Teddy Long smile, Raw signed Goldberg on a long–term deal. In a move that made him laugh, Goldberg’s first match was against the Spirit Squad alongside Carlito – a match that his team lost. Both Raw and Impact were fairly good, although both were saved by their main events – RVD vs. Randy Orton and Jeff Jarrett vs. AJ Styles respectively. * Teddy Long felt fit and rested. It had been a good decision to reshuffle the schedules and move the taping of SmackDown to Fridays – this way everyone could head home afterwards and have some time with their families. With network negotiations just around the corner, Teddy was hopeful that the show would shine that night. Coming off a good pay-per-view always helped the show start brightly, and with some of the recent signings around to inject some extra energy into proceedings, Teddy was confident that the show would sizzle-fo-shizzle, as he’d heard one of the young newcomers saying. * [CENTER][B]WWE SmackDown! For Friday, Week 4, July 2006 Taped for airing on Friday evening, from the Smith Center, Washington, D.C., before an audience of 4,739 people[/B][/CENTER] “Welcome, everyone, to your weekly fix of SmackDown! action! This is the Miz, as real as can be, and I’m here to tell you that we’re in for an amazing show tonight! Batista will take on Mark Henry for the United States title, Ken Kennedy has convinced General Manager Theodore Long that he’s worthy of a shot at the World title, and the brand new team of Jay and Mark Briscoe get their first shot at the big time, taking on the World Tag Team champions, Brian Kendrick and Paul London! “Stay tuned, stay cool, stay Miz!” [B]Rating: C[/B] “Hello everyone, and a break from the norm tonight. I am Alex Shelley, and this is Steve Romero, and Steve here is going to interview me – Me! – about my match tonight with Gunner Scott. Okay, Steve, go!” “Well, thank you. Alex-“ “Ah-ah-ah! You know the rules, Steve.” “I’m sorry. Mr. Shelley, what are your plans for the match tonight? Gunner Scott has impressed many people since his debut, and is seen as a future superstar here on SmackDown!” “That’s a very good question, Steve, although you did finish with a run-on sentence, and that’s something you may want to avoid in future. However, Gunner Scott is a fairly talented guy, but the key to my victory lies in your own question – he’s the future. You see, he’s still got a lot to learn, whereas I already know it all. So my key to victory is just that I’m better than Gunner Scott – it’s very, very simple.” “Mr. Shelley, thank you.” “You’re very welcome.” [B]Rating: C-[/B] Backstage, Gunner Scott was staring into the camera. “Past, future, present. It doesn’t matter. Alex Shelley can talk as fancy as he likes, but he just needs to be ready to take a beating. I may be young, and I may not know all that he does, but I also don’t know my own limits yet. I don’t know what’s impossible – and not knowing that, makes me a very difficult opponent.” [B]Rating: C- Gunner Scott vs. Alex Shelley[/B] The two technicians got SmackDown! going with a medium-paced technical showing reminiscent of the show’s glory days when Chris Benoit, Brock Lesnar, Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle could be relied on to turn out superior efforts. While the crowd didn’t get as into the match as they did when those superstars were going at it, the two youngsters did hold their interest, especially as the ****y Shelley seemed to have real trouble living up to his promise of an easy victory. Scott frustrated his opponent time and again, managing to hold the advantage for much of the match, and counter many of Shelley’s moves and holds. In the end, Shelley resorted to a low blow right in front of the ref for a DQ. [B]Winner: Gunner Scott Rating: C[/B] Gunner Scott offered his hand to Shelley afterwards, but Shelley just ignored him and walked away. [B]Rating: C-[/B] “Welcome once again, mes amis, to Montreal. My good friend the Prime Minister of Canada tells me that tourism is on the rise, thanks to you discerning viewers out there. Thank you all! “For tonight’s show, come with me and visit our fabulous museums and art galleries. See some of the world’s finest artefacts and artists. Enjoy the finest atmosphere, as the world’s most learned people enjoy the world’s finest city. Come to Montreal, and enrich your lives.” [B]Rating: C[/B] A video played, highlighting the talents of the Briscoes, Brian Kendrick and Paul London. [B]Rating: D Kendrick & London (c) vs. The Briscoe Brothers (WWE Tag Team titles)[/B] All four men started this match in the ring, exchanging nimble high-flying assaults. As the referee sought order, Jay took control of Kendrick, working over his right leg in an effort to keep him grounded. As Mark tagged in, he went straight to work on the same limb, methodically twisting Kendrick’s knee and ankle. Kendrick eventually broke free, and went to work on Mark, before tagging in London and helping his partner hit a double suplex. This brought Jay in, but he was met with one-and-a-half dropsaults, as Kendrick failed to get much leverage on his injured leg. It was the champions turn to hold the advantage, though, with quick tags keeping Mark in the ring, and gradually wearing him down. At last, Kendrick was able to hit Sliced Bread #2 on him, but as he made the cover, Jay came in, bringing London in as well. As the referee tried to restore order, the time limit expired, making the match a draw. [B]Winners: None Rating: C[/B] “I’ve grown up before you all...” A young man in day-glo tights is seen running to the ring. “I’ve been beaten and bloodied for your entertainment...” A TLC match, as two competitors take a tumble through a stack of tables. “I found true love, only to have it torn from me...” A rapidly-cutting video shows the first kiss, the breakup, the reunion, the betrayal. “I was abandoned...” wwe.com press release: WWE have to day come to terms on the release of J- “I lost my way...” wwe.com press release: WWE have today come to terms on the release of Matt Hardy. Clips of Hardy losing to Edge, MNM, Finlay and others. “Alone, I sought redemption.” The recent video clips of the man in the dark coat replay, finishing with the camera panning upwards from his booted feet, along dark clothes and a trenchcoat, and up to his face. He is clean shaven, and his hair is close cropped, at least compared to his usual shoulder length style. “My name is Matt Hardy. I have known the lowest depth to which a man can sink. I will not let that happen to others. I will not let wrongs go unrighted. I am vengeance, I am justice. “I am watching.” [B]Rating: C+ Super Crazy vs. Shannon Moore[/B] After several months absence, the Prince of Punk returned to SmackDown! He was a house on fire in the early going of the match, using his speed advantage over the larger Crazy to stay one step ahead – and resorting to cheating whenever possible. However, his attempt at a double underhook something resulted in a back body drop that left Crazy clear to take advantage. The match from then on was fairly even, letting Moore show off his new skills while Crazy was able to show off some of his own talent. The ending came when Psicosis came down to ringside and belted Crazy with the ring bell to cost him the match, and give Moore a triumphant return. [B]Winner: Shannon Moore Rating: C[/B] A video played hyping the next match, as WWE footage of Gregory Helms was mixed in with indy footage of The Amazing Red and Jack Evans, two debutants on the show. [B]Rating: D Gregory Helms (c) vs. Jack Evans vs. The Amazing Red (WWE Cruiserweight title)[/B] This match gave everyone involved the chance to show off a little, as it was generally the case that when two of the wrestlers were occupied with each other, the third had the opportunity to do some damage. Red looked the most impressive, hitting a double heel kick to take both opponents down in the early going, and hitting a somersault elbow drop as soon as he stood back up. Evans also showed off some nice moves, focussing his attention on Red, and drilling him with a top rope crank splash, and a leaping rolling clothesline that saw him land on his feet. This last was his undoing, however, as Helms took the chance to nail a Shining Wizard. Having lain in wait for much of the match, only becoming involved where necessary, Helms was the freshest of the three men, and hitting the Wizard on Evans while Red was stunned was enough to earn him a successful title defence. [B]Winner, and still champion: Gregory Helms Rating: C[/B] Backstage, Gunner Scott was warming down, stretching and flexing. A knock on the locker door broke his concentration, and he opened the door to reveal Christy Hemme, who had been absent from WWE for some time. “Um, hi,” Gunner said. “Hi. Gunner, right?” Christy asked. “Yeah, er, that’s me.” “Christy, Christy Hemme.” “Sure. Um, nice to meet you. Would you like to come in?” “I’d love to. I actually had something I wanted to ask you,” she went on, as they sat down. “What’s that?” “I was wondering if you were looking for a manager. If so, I’d love to be the person to help you out.” “You?” Scott asked. “Really?” “Yeah. If you’re interested, I mean. I’d understand if-“ “No! I mean, yes! I mean, I’d really like that. When can you start?” “Well, right now, if you like,” Christy said, beaming. “You’re sure?” “Absolutely!” Scott said, looking as though all his Christmases had come at once. “Great! I was watching your match today, and I think I saw a few ways I can help you...” [B]Rating: C+[/B] Elsewhere, Ashley was getting a can of Pepsi from a machine when she was attacked from behind, and beaten to the ground by two assailants. Although she tried to fight back, she was outnumbered and didn’t have much of a chance. Jillian saw what was happening, and tried to help, but the attackers – who the camera could now see as Kristal Marshall and Michelle McCool – just turned on her and laid her out as well. The two attackers walked off, waving mockingly at their victims. [B]Rating: D Funaki vs. Low Ki[/B] Low Ki dominated from start to finish of this match, drilling SmackDown’s number one announcer with hard kicks and blows, dismantling Funaki easily before sending him into the corner and following up with a handspring spinning kick. As Funaki fell to the mat, Low Ki climbed to the top turnbuckle and jumped off with a double foot stomp to his chest. Hauling Funaki upright, he lifted into the air as though about to craldeplex him, but instead dropped into a seated position, hitting a move known as the Ki Krusher ’99. [B]Winner: Low Ki Rating: C[/B] “That’s what everyone on SmackDown can expect from me,” Low Ki declared, glaring over the house mic. “No mercy, no surrender, no hope of victory. I will crush anyone in my way, any way I see fit. Battle is my life, conflict my only companion. There is no one I cannot defeat. I am a warrior. [B]Rating: C+[/B] Backstage, William Regal and Finlay are looking suitably impressed at Low Ki’s competitive debut. “Not too bad at all – lots of kicks and punches, just the sort of chap I used to brawl with, back in the old days,” Regal said. “Ah, he wouldn’t last ten minutes on the street back home,” Finlay said, dismissively. “Well, I think he’ll do just fine,” Regal declared. “Now, Finlay, I had an idea the other day. We’ve had a bit of a rough patch this month and, frankly, I’m not sure that the King would take too kindly to our going after singles glory right now – that seems to be his kingdom.” “Aye, well, that’s him alright. Anything shiny, he wants it.” “Quite. Now, what I had in mind was that you and I team up. I know that we’ve been watching out for one another of late, and I thought that we could make it a formal arrangement.” “You mean, team up with an Englishman? Permanently?” “Well, perhaps not permanently, but for the time being. I mean, there’s not many fulltime teams around here right now, and as for those scrawny toerags masquerading as champions right now, well, if we can’t beat them, we should just give up and head back home.” Finlay thought about it for a bit. “Well, alright then. We’ll give it a shot.” “Excellent,” Regal declared. “Marvellous. I’ve even thought of a name for us,” he added, as the camera pulled back to reveal that he was sitting under a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II. “The British Empire!” The camera panned over to Finlay, who looked thoroughly sceptical. [B]Rating: B-[/B] Elsewhere, Batista was preparing for his match with Mark Henry. “Teddy Long asked me if I wanted a shot at gold tonight. Well, I can’t fight Rey, of course, because he’s my friend. And he already has someone to fight. But Mark Henry? He put me out of action to begin with – I can sure as hell beat him. My shoulder’s healed, Mark. I can beat you down, just like you deserve. What you don’t deserve is to have that belt, so I think I’ll take it off you. At the very least, it should go to someone whose waist it’ll fit around.” [B]Rating: B Batista vs. Mark Henry (c) (WWE United States title)[/B] As the match began, Michael Cole and JBL speculated on how much damage losing to Rey Mysterio might have done to Henry’s confidence. “You’ve been there, what does it do to you to lose to a man a hundred pounds – more, in Mark Henry’s case! – lighter than yourself?” “It makes you angry, Cole. Really, really angry...” And so it proved in this match. Henry charged at Batista as so as the bell rang, but the Animal sidestepped neatly, turning in place to meet Henry’s second charge head on with a straight-arm clothesline. Henry went down, as much from his own momentum as the force of the blow. He shook his head as he climbed to his feet, scowling and growling as Batista stalked him. Moving in from behind, Batista clamped on a sleeper hold, but after several seconds of struggling, Henry was able to lever him up onto his back, and topple backwards, flattening Batista on the mat. As Henry rolled clear, rubbing his throat and rasping for breath, Batista lay on the mat, looking stunned. Henry struggled to his feet and, seeing Batista lying prone, leapt up into the air and came crashing down with a big splash that brought a two count. Henry sent Batista into the ropes, only for Batista to come back with a shoulder tackle. When Henry stayed upright, the two men glared at one another. They both went to the ropes, and both landed shoulder tackles. Neither man went down. They tried again, with the same result. They tried again – or at least Henry did. Batista followed him in, hitting a clothesline as Henry turned, sending him over the top rope to land heavily on the floor. Batista followed him out to the floor, stalking him again as Henry crawled to the timekeeper’s table and snatching the US title belt. As Batista grabbed him by the shoulders, Henry turned and smashed the belt into his stomach, causing the referee to call for the bell. [B]Winner, by DQ: Batista Rating: B-[/B] Backstage, and King Booker was watching the previous match on a TV. [B]Rating: C+[/B] The Great Khali and Daivari entered the ring. “Dominance!” Daivari declared. “Once more, we have seen how dominant the Great Khali is. Once more, he has destroyed the fool known as the Undertaker. Once more, my charge emerges victorious. There is no-one left to challenge the Great Khali. We have started at the top – and it was even easier than I could have imagined. Bow down, everyone, to the uncrowned champion. It is only a matter of time. A very, very short matter of time.” [B]Rating: B[/B] Backstage, King Booker has something to say. “Batista, you fool. Did you think that I’d forgotten about you? You’ve come back here, and stuck your nose into my royal business. SmackDown! is my kingdom, sucka, and I reign supreme. So listen closely to this proclamation: Batista, your time is limited. When I choose, we shall fight. And you, Batista, will fall. Before we are done, you will kneel at my feet. Thus speaks King Booker.” [B]Rating: B Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Ken Kennedy (World title)[/B] No pre-match entertainment from Kennedy this week, as both men started as though they wanted the match over quickly. Kennedy immediately closed in on Mysterio, attempting to box him into a corner and negate his speed advantage. Mysterio, meanwhile, capitalised on a mistake by Kennedy to trip the larger man onto the ropes and set up an early 619 attempt. Kennedy was too sharp, however, and dived out of the way in time. When Mysterio had completed the spin and landed on the apron, Kennedy popped up with a dropkick and sent the champ flying back first into the guardrail. Following him out, Kennedy lifted him up and dropped him across the top of the rail, before stripping away the padding and looking for another slam, only to be blocked by the referee. The match moved back into the ring, where Kennedy held control for several minutes, driving his knees, elbows and fists into Mysterio’s chest and face. The champion was clearly wounded and struggling, something capitalised on by Kennedy, who clamped on a camel clutch to further weaken Mysterio’s back. However, Kennedy eventually became too confident, taking the time out from hammering Mysterio to jaw with some kids at ringside in Rey masks. This allowed the champ to snatch a rollup for a close two, before Kennedy refocused on the job at hand. However, Mysterio had found his second wind, and got in close to Kennedy, peppering him with hard shots to the stomach and legs, before zipping out to the ropes and back in again with a spinning heel kick. Mysterio kept the pressure on, beating on the challenger with as much speed as he could muster, keeping Kennedy off balance and unable to muster a plan of attack. Eventually, he was able to trip Kennedy into the ropes again, swiftly followed by a 619 and a West Coast Pop for the win. [B]Winner, and still champion: Rey Mysterio Rating: C+ Show rating: C[/B] * Teddy Long had mixed feelings about the show. Nothing had required his personal attention, which was good, and the show had drawn better than expected rating, which was even better. But it had lacked the magic that he wanted SmackDown! to be seen as having. He pondered how to go about bringing that magic to the show, even as he planned how to use the rise in viewers to best impress the network when they met the following week. * From wwe.com: WWE have come to terms on the release of Little Bastard. We wish him the best of luck in his future endeavours. * ECW’s first pay-per-view since its revival, Hard Times, was a critical success and a commercial flop. Although the stacked card attracted a sell-out 10,000 attendance, the buy rate is suspected to be barely four figures, meaning a huge loss for the fledgling federation. Raw’s Vengeance card, on the other hand, was a huge success. A 30,000 attendance, and over 700,000 buys, means big money for the red brand. Still, the matches on display were of a very low quality: The absolute lowlight featured Chris Kanyon facing Kamala, but it had stiff competition from a Lance Cade, Dusty Rhodes and Mitch triple threat, Carlito vs. Nicky and Eugene vs. Kane. * DSW and All Japan both lost their TV slots after poor ratings. * [I]Homicide signs with ECW[/I], the banner headline on the website read. Teddy Long clicked his tongue against his teeth. [I]ECW is hot right now – at least, they are if they can avoid another buy-rate like Saturday’s offering. And how many workers has TNA lost this last month? Twenty? Thirty? One or two of them are my fault, maybe, but it’s a darn shame all the same. Still, they still have their core group, even if they are in danger of becoming ECW’s feeder league. [/I] [I]Much better for them to be ours...[/I] * From wwe.com WWE is pleased to announce that Vince McMahon has negotiated a deal with NBC to broadcast a new show, Squared Circle, which will feature WWE’s Raw-brand Superstars. The new show will debut in September 2006. Watch this site for more details, coming soon. * From squaredcirclenews.com Teddy Long’s SmackDown! also have a new show premiering next month. Called Worldwide, the show will be hosted on several networks across North American, Europe and Mexico, and is expected to be shown in Japan as well. Long is also negotiating for a wider viewership for SmackDown! This is all excellent news for Long’s share of the brand split, and it’s unlike WWE to not trumpet this sort of news from the rooftops. One is led to wonder whether Vince is offended that Long has arranged several deals to his single deal, and is waiting to break the news at a later date. * From ringwars.com There are rumblings that SmackDown may be looking to become more involved with women’s wrestling, with the recent working agreement put in place with Shimmer seeing the promotion offered extensive use of the Deep South Wrestling training facilities. A number of Shimmer workers have been benefiting from the training, and SD scouts are said to be especially high on Shimmer talents Lacey, Ariel and in particular Cheerleader Melissa. It should also be noted that the Canadian women’s wrestler LuFisto has been seen in and around the Deep South training facilities of late, fuelling rumours that she has been signed by WWE and is soon to be called up, possibly in a partnership with Lance Storm. More news as we get it! * From thebattleground.net Teddy Long has reportedly been having heated meetings with off-screen talent Chris Benoit, Joey Mercury and Burchill of late, regarding their return dates. All three are itching to get back into action, but in Benoit and Burchill’s cases, Long is said to be insistent on getting a second opinion regarding their injuries. Mercury, meanwhile, has apparently not dealt well with his abandonment by his MNM partners, and Long is worried that the former tag team champion will be unfocused if brought back too soon.
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British team is relatively unknown in US....... well if it's a proper British team and NOT two wrestlers you've put together, my guess is Big Dave and Bulk, The UK Pitbulls. They've worked for various UK and US promotions but no big US ones.
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[I]OOC: Thanks as always for the comments. I am using TCP's split, a bit modified by me but no major changes. The UK Pitbulls? Nope - not them, but I'll check them out as I remember thinking they might be quite useful. Anyway, another England vignette this week, with everyone's all-time, number one, favourite rapper - the big JB... Something that's annoyed the heck out of me: Shannon Moore's Reject gimmick in ECW - I like what I've seen a lot. I may have to retcon him a bit to build him into the diary in a bigger role. Look for him to square off with Matt Hardy at SS in a few weeks time...[/I] * [B][CENTER]WWE SmackDown! for Friday, Week 1, August 2006 Live from the Convention Center Arena, Dallas, TX, before an audience of 5,000 people[/CENTER][/B] “It’s the hottest thing around, it’s lighting up Friday nights, it’s SmackDown! I am your host, Mike Mizanin, and welcome to all our viewers on UPN and Sky Sports – great to have ya, guys! “’Miz!’ I hear you cry. ‘What do you have for us tonight?’ Fear not, loyal viewer, for like the Miz in the bedroom, SmackDown never disappoints! And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, ladies... “Check it out: Matt Hardy brings his new attitude to the US title scene with a match against Mark Henry. The Pitbulls are in action, and you’ll see World champion Rey Mysterio versus Shannon Moore, The Great Khali take on the Animal Batista, the vicious Low Ki will be in action against yours truly, and best of all... Jillian and Ashley team up to take on Michelle McCool and Kristal Marshall as well! “All this, and more, on the only show where you get The Miz for free. This is reality!” [B]Rating: C[/B] [B]Jillian Hall and Ashley vs. Michelle McCool and Kristal Marshall[/B] No semblance of tactics in this match, as the four women tore into one another, beating one another over and around the ring, and over referee Chris Kay in a move you might almost think he dived in the way of. Jillian and Ashley seemed intent on gaining revenge for the beatings they took last week, and might even have managed it, had it not been for the surprise appearance of Gail Kim, who nailed Jillian with a swing of her boot, allowing Michelle to steal the win. [B]Winners: Michelle and Kristal Rating: E[/B] With their opponents down, Michelle took the mic. “I receive so many letters from women, asking me how they can improve their lives. So I’ve decided to show you. I’m sure you all know Kristal, and you all remember Gail as well. In these ladies I’ve found kindred spirits, women who take what they want, when they want it. Men want us, women want to be us, and we are the way forward. Before long, we’ll be in control around here – believe me, we all know exactly how to twist men around our little fingers...” [B]Rating: C-[/B] “Welcome once more to Montreal, mes amis!” Sylvan declares, as behind him, Montreal glows with its street lights. “Tonight, I will show you what a good time you can have in my city after dark!” There follows a tour of the city’s nightclubs, jazz clubs, bars, theatres... Anything you could want, Montreal has it. Even XXX-rated shows, as the camera shows Sylvan entering, after his official sign-off. [B]Rating: C-[/B] [I]Love's got the world in motion And I know what we can do Love's got the world in motion And I can’t believe its true You’ve got to hold and give But do it at the right time You can be slow or fast But you must get to the line They’ll always hit you and hurt you Defend and attack There’s only one way to beat them Get round the back Catch me if you can Cos I’m the England man And what you’re looking at Is the master plan We aint no hooligans This aint a football song Three lions on my chest I know we can’t go wrong We’re playing for England (En-ger-land) We’re playing the song We’re singing for England (En-ger-land) Arrivederci its one-on-one [B]The English are coming, in fourteen days...[/I] Rating: D[/B] [B]The Briscoe Brothers vs. Gymini[/B] As Simon Dean led his team to the ring, Michael Cole and JBL remarked that Dean had signed himself and his charges to a six-man match with the English newcomers. The Briscoes took charge early in this match, seemingly pumped after their match with the tag champs the previous week. They beat the muscular twins around the ring with their well-practised teamwork, before Jay hit Jake with a Jay Driller for the easy win. [B]Winners: The Briscoe Brothers Rating: C-[/B] Backstage, Jillian and Ashley are nursing their wounds. Christy Hemme approaches them. “Hey, that sucked the way Gail Kim stuck her nose in earlier.” “Tell us about it,” Jillian sighed, an ice pack held to her head. “Listen, if you like, I could help you guys. I don’t like people who sneak attack that way, and it’d even things up.” “Really?” Ashley asked. “I mean, that’d be great. That’s two weeks in a row I’ve been attacked, and I don’t want to go through it again.” “That’s understandable,” Christy said. “So we’ll make it three on three. I think that ought to even things up some. And if they cause any more trouble... Well, I have some more friends who can help us out.” “Anything to put those bitches in their place,” Jillian said. “As for their whole philosophy... Well, I’ve seen something that I want – those three in pain.” [B]Rating: C+[/B] General Manager Theodore Long joined JBL and Michael Cole at the announcer’s table for the next match. “Mr. Long, I understand that you have an announcement to make?” “That’s right, Michael. Here’s how it is: Seems like Alex Shelley and Gunner Scott don’t feel like their match last week solved anything, so what we’re gonna do is settle things how we use to in WCW – with a best of seven series.” “Long, is that wise?” JBL snorted. “Hell, that dump you used to work for went out of business. You sure you want to repeat their mistakes?” “That’s Mr. Long to you, playa. And why not go ask Chris Benoit or King Booker what that mistake did for their careers.” [B]Rating: C Gunner Scott vs. Alex Shelley (Best of Seven: Match #1)[/B] Shelley kicked things off with a thumb to the eye that gave him the early control in this match. He twisted Scott in several painful looking ways, before upping the tempo with a flurry of high-speed flying moves, including a second-rope Fameasser that came within a split-second of ending the match. Scott managed to rally with a big backdrop and a neat rollup for two, but when he went for a stalling vertical suplex, Shelley managed to reverse it into a Shellshock for the win. [B]Winner: Alex Shelley (Shelley leads, 1-0) Rating: C[/B] “Well, that was about as easy as I might have expected. 4-0 – I’m calling it now. Listen, Gunner, you’re not bad. One day, you might even be pretty good. But let’s face it – you against me is like those guys who drew Ren and Stimpy against Leonardo da Vinci.” [B]Rating: C Mike Mizanin vs. Low Ki[/B] Better wrestlers than the Miz have faced Low Ki and lost, so Mizanin shouldn’t be disheartened by the beating he took in this contest. Resembling the sort of match that featured on wrestling shows in the 80s, the contest saw Ki unleashing a string of kicks and blows to the MTV star, backing him into the corner. He then hit his handspring spinning kick before drilling him with a tornado DDT. Climbing to the top turnbuckle, Ki then leapt off with a double foot stomp for the easy win. [B]Winner: Low Ki Rating: C-[/B] “It’s that easy,” Low Ki declared, over the house mic. “So be warned. If I have to face everyone, then I will. I fear no one, for I am a warrior. I am the best in the business, and Mike Mizanin, or Chris Benoit, or even your champion, Rey Mysterio... They are as no-one to me.” [B]Rating: C+ Tatanka and Bobby Lashley vs. The Pitbulls[/B] The Pitbulls did everything they could to isolate Tatanka in this match, apparently not wanting to risk getting into the ring with Lashley. While Tatanka held his own, hitting chops and slams until he was caught in the wrong corner, giving the Pitbulls five seconds to double team him mercilessly – longer, as Lashley’s frustration boiled over and brought him into the ring. As the referee chased him out, the Pitbulls hit a brutal spike piledriver that knocked the Native American warrior out cold. Kash clamped on a sleeper hold, almost as an insult, and earned his team the stoppage win. [B]Winners: The Pitbulls Rating: C+[/B] “That’s what we do,” Noble declared, as Tatanka was helped to the back. “We take out anyone in our way,” Kash added. “Any time, any place...” “By any means necessary...” “Winning is everything...” “History only shows results...” “Stand against us, and be crushed...” “...torn apart...” “...destroyed.” [B]Rating: B-[/B] Backstage, Super Crazy, Tajiri and Lance Storm assure us that they’re going to take the victory in their upcoming six-man match. [B]Rating: C-[/B] Backstage, Ken Kennedy told everyone how great he was, and mentioned that he was deigning to team up with Gregory Helms and Psicosis for a six-man match- -only to be interrupted by Helms, who wanted to add his two cents- -but got at least one cent in change, because Psicosis cut in to rant about Super Crazy- -“Kennedy!” to finish. [B]Rating: C+ Lance Storm, Super Crazy and Tajiri vs. Ken Kennedy, Psicosis and Gregory Helms[/B] This match took place at blistering speed, with all six men seemingly intent on showing off, after varying degrees of success of late. Kennedy planted Storm with a spinebuster, only to walk into a vicious kick to the chest from Tajiri, who was planted with a cross body by Psicosis, who popped up to be met by a missile dropkick from Super Crazy, who was flattened with a double axe handle from Gregory Helms, who was met with a superkick by Lance Storm, who was... The match continued in this fashion, with the referee only intermittently able to establish control. He was perfectly in place, however, to see Psicosis get tagged by a Storm superkick, to see Crazy blind tag in, and then see Crazy hit an Asai Moonsault for the pinfall as Storm met Helms and Kennedy with a double clothesline. [B]Winners: Storm, Crazy and Tajiri Rating: C+[/B] Mark Henry was in the ring with a microphone, and his US belt over one shoulder. “So, Matt Hardy, the world’s biggest bitch, thinks that a trenchcoat and a haircut puts him in my league? Guess again, mamma’s boy. I’ll give you something else to run crying on your blog about, Hardy: How many ribs that big, bad Mark Henry broke when he beat the crap out of you tonight.” [B]Rating: D Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry (c) (United States title match)[/B] A trenchcoat and haircut may not put Matt Hardy in Mark Henry’s league, but they seem to have helped. Hardy attacked from the off, using the ropes to keep moving, chipping away at Henry with quick attacks from all quarters, leaving the bigger man not knowing when or where to turn. When he did manage to grab hold of Hardy, the smaller man somehow managed to twist free, and use Henry’s surprise to his advantage. Hardy’s only mistake was attempting a Twist of Fate, which saw him hoisted up into the air on Henry’s shoulders and driven back into the mat with a jarring spinebuster. Henry went to the ropes for what would have been a painful big splash, but Hardy was able to avoid it and, as Henry clambered to his feet, managed to hit a Twist of Fate that was good for two. Clearly frustrated, Henry chose to lash out, booting Hardy in the crotch in front of the referee for his second DQ loss in as many matches. He stalked off, ignoring the referee, as Hardy glared at the back of his head, bent slightly over his injured area. [B]Winner, by DQ: Matt Hardy Rating: C+[/B] Backstage, and Ken Kennedy was stalking the corridors. Spying Rey Mysterio chatting with Chavo Guerrero, he charged forwards, and we saw that he was carrying a steel chair. Chavo turned too late and took a shot to the head, while Mysterio narrowly avoided the same fate, but caught the chair across his back. “We’re not done, you and me! You’ll be hearing again soon from Mr. Ken Kennedy,” Kennedy declared, as he walked off, leaving both men down. “Kennedy!” he added, sticking his head back in the frame. [B]Rating: C+ Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Shannon Moore (World Heavyweight title)[/B] Mysterio came to the ring, limping noticeably as he held his back, while Chavo was absent entirely. The Mohican-haired Moore was quick to take advantage, focusing his assault on the champ’s injuries and driving Mysterio to his hands and knees soon after the bell sounded. Mysterio was able to fight back, using a more brawling-based attack than usual to minimise the stress on his back. However, Moore for once had the height and size advantage and began to turn the tide back on the champion. Sending Mysterio into the corner, where the champion collapsed on the turnbuckles after crashing into them back first, Moore nailed a one man Whisper in the Wind for a close two count. Mysterio was in trouble, and knew it. He bailed from the ring to regroup, but Moore was hot on his heels, and threw Mysterio into the guardrail. Propping Rey up on the railing, he climbed to the top rope and took flight, risking everything for a chance to finish the champ off. It was a risk too far, as Rey moved and Moore landed ribs-first across the solid railing. It was all the break Rey needed. Moore managed to make it back into the ring, but was barely able to stand. He was easy prey for a small cradle, and was too bruised and battered to be able to kick out. [B]Winner, and still champion: Rey Mysterio Rating: B-[/B] As the gongs sound, we are treated to a history of the Khali/Undertaker story. [B]Rating: B[/B] King Booker made his way to the ring, with Queen Sharmell on his arm. “Your king has been having fun, taking it easy of late. But everywhere I go I hear the same old, same old. Batista this, Animal that – like the guy’s some kind of superstar. He’s even main eventing tonight, when everyone knows that’s my spot. Well, I’ve had about enough. Batista, I’m giving you one chance, sucka. Take your ugly ass out of the royal view, and you go unharmed. Continue acting like you’re superior to the king, and you and me will be having words. Can you dig that?” [B]Rating: B+[/B] Backstage, Batista was shown kicking back, reading the latest copy of Playboy. “Booker, your majesty, whatever... Relax. I’m not challenging you. At least, I wasn’t. But you’ve gone and made this interesting. You think I’m not capable of beating you? Well, I think we need to see about that. I’ll tell you what – I’ll see you soon. Can you dig that?” [B]Rating: B+ Batista vs. The Great Khali[/B] Batista looked supremely confident, even as Khali stepped over the ropes. He charged at the bigger man, clotheslining Khali and actually staggering him, something rarely accomplished by any one man before. Pressing his advantage, Batista forced Khali back into the corner, from which he Irish whipped him across the ring and hard into the opposite turnbuckles. Batista followed close behind with a shoulder tackle that shifted the ring slightly. The attack didn’t seem to faze Khali at all, though. The big man stalked out of the corner, staring a hole through Batista, who backed off, beckoning Khali forward. Khali obliged, slashing at Batista with hard chops and picking him up with impressive ease for a booming powerslam. It was Batista’s turn to be unfazed, however, as he got back up to his feet almost immediately as Khali paraded around the ring, arms aloft. As he turned to face Batista, the Animal charged, catching Khali with a brutal clothesline that sent him over the top rope to the arena floor, where he landed on both feet. Batista was straight after him, hitting him with hard rights and clubbing forearms, staggering Khali with the ferocity of his blows, as Khali fired back with his trademark chops. So caught up in the fight were both men, however, that neither noticed the referee’s count reaching ten and the match being declared a draw. [B]Winner: Double count-out Rating: B- Show overall: C+[/B] * Teddy Long entered his hotel room, exhausted from another busy day of travelling and negotiations. He was about to set his bag down when he noticed something wrong with his bed. He approached cautiously, and slowly reached out and plucked the note from the pillow. [I]Mr. Long, My eternal many thanks to you for giving me my chance. But the King has his lawyers awaiting me, should I ever set foot in a ring of yours again, and I have come to realise that even I cannot triumph against lawyers. I go out into the world at large in search of more people to haunt. Look out world, I’m coming to get ya! Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Sincerely yours, The Boogeyman[/I] Long shook his head. [I]Who sits down and writes a maniacal laugh?[/I] He turned and headed back to the door. He wondered if it was possible that the hotel would be willing to accept that it was nothing to do with him, or whether he would lose his security deposit because the entire double bed was now teeming and writhing in shiny, slimy worms. * [I]OOC: Big news, big grapefruits and a big-to-the-order-of-300lbs-debut in our next installment. Keep it SmackDown![/I]
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[I]OOC: No Boogeyman, for the time being at least. He's too old, too poor in the ring, and too one-note a gimmick right now. Along with Shortstack and two other workers - you'll find out who in the next show - I couldn't think of anything to do with him, ergo he's gone. Still, I had fun writing his vignette, so I may bring back *a* Boogeyman at some point...[/I] * From thebattleground.net Another big SmackDown story not yet reported on WWE.com: Teddy Long has been clocking up the air miles recently, jetting across the USA and to Honshu, Japan, in an attempt to establish more developmental territories for the growing list of workers on developmental contracts. It is understood that American promotions Combat Zone Wrestling and IWA: Mid South have agreed to become finishing schools for the blue brand’s workers, while in Japan, Big Japan Pro Wrestling, King’s Road, and Pro Wrestling 666 have all inked agreements. Long is understood to have sought out a variety of promotions to add to the existing developmental territory, Deep South Wrestling, where trainees learn a strictly Sports Entertainment style of combat. Big Japan and Combat Zone are renowned garbage feds, which will give trainees a chance to improve their brawling skills. 666 and IWA-MS are Hardcore feds, like the old ECW, and will give trainees a bit of everything to work with, while emphasising substance over style – most of the time. King’s Road is a Pure wrestling federation. Rare in the USA, Pure wrestling is almost exclusively about the in-ring action. It is expected that wrestlers lacking in skill but high on charisma will be sent there to improve their wrestling abilities in the most intensive environment possible. Look for an extensive shuffling of the current Deep South roster in the coming weeks to take advantage of these new relationships. * From totalextremewwe.net Whisper it quietly, for the Jarrett’s are splitting blood and WWE are saying nothing until the deal is finalised, but a major TNA star has been seen in Stamford, and is reportedly ready to make a deal to leave TNA and sign on full time with the McMahons. Take our word for it, folks, this isn’t Shannon Moore or even Spike Dudley – this is a worker who many thought would never sign for WWE. The clincher? He won’t be working on Raw or ECW – this guy is going to the top of SmackDown, and while the Jarrett’s have been generally furious at WWE since day one, they had always felt that Teddy Long and the SmackDown team were at worst neutral in the dispute. It seems as though Teddy has fired his first salvo – and don’t count on there not being any more... * Teddy didn’t know whether to laugh or scowl. Signing one of TNA’s top stars had left him feeling, well, dirty. It had been an act not calculated to endear him to the TNA faithful, or its management. But that’s not my job, is it? My job is to put on the best show possible for the fans, by hook or by crook. And this guy will help us do that – I think... Sitting opposite Teddy was the reason he might scowl. As large as life and twice as tanned, Vincent Kennedy McMahon had just outlined his latest proposals for improving SmackDown as a show. “You want to go back to calling matches,” Teddy said, wanting to be sure he’d understood properly. “That’s right,” Vince said, beaming his billion-dollar smile. “Vince McMahon, back behind the microphone.” “We have an announcers team, Mr. McMahon,” Teddy said. “Michael Cole and JBL call the matches on SmackDown.” “And they do a fine job, no question,” Vince said. “But I want to call the matches too, Teddy. And where am I going to do that – Raw? Go up against the King and Good Old JR? They’re legends – how am I meant to compete with that?” “You’re not meant to compete with other announcers, Vince-“ “Teddy, I was watching some old shows the other day, from back in 2001 when we trashed the Alliance, do you remember?” Teddy took a deep breath, and nodded. “One of the things I enjoyed the most was the way that Jim Ross and Paul Heyman really tore into one another behind the mic. That’s what a successful announcing team needs – antagonism!” “So, you want to go on my show, live on the air, and antagonise Michael Cole and JBL?” “Ah, excuse me Teddy,” Vince said, ****ing his head to one side and smiling a half-smile. “Your show, did you say?” Teddy sighed, and sat back in his chair. So many discussions with Vince ended this way. “Yes, Vince, I’m aware that you own the company. But Michael Cole and JBL have got a good dynamic going. I’m worried about unbalancing that.” “Teddy...” Vince said, opening his arms wide. “I’m Vince McMahon. I’m all about balance.” Teddy would have laughed, but he had a feeling that he wouldn’t have stopped if he did. “Okay, Vince. You can go back on air. But what about this new wrestler you want be to put on the show – he’s never even had a match, and you want him going for a title?” “He’s done everything but have a match, Teddy. He comes from a family of professional athletes and, but for a knee injury, would still be playing pro football. Frankly, the Viking’s loss is our gain. He can handle it.” “Vince-“ “He can handle it, Teddy. Discussion over.” * [B][CENTER]WWE SmackDown! for Friday, Week 2, August 2006 Live from the Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, MN, before an audience of 4,487 people[/CENTER][/B] “The Miz is here! And all you lucky people know what that means – SmackDown is live from Saint Paul, Minnesota! “Tonight we’ll see three titles on the line. US champion Mark Henry faces the man that he defeated for the title, Bobby Lashley. General Manager Theodore Long has also placed a third man in the match – and all he’ll say is that this man will be very familiar to Minnesota sports fans. We’ll also see the Pitbulls, undefeated in tag team action since their debut here on SmackDown, facing off against the WWE Tag Team champions, Brian Kendrick and Paul London. Finally, Cruiserweight champion Gregory Helms faces off against three of the top contenders to his title – Akio, Tajiri and Shannon Moore. “And to top all that, we’ll see King Booker in action – facing off against none other than The Undertaker... “Keep it locked right here, folks, and, as always, stay Miz!” [B]Rating: C[/B] Next up was the SmackDown general manager, Teddy Long. “Folks, there’s been a lot of rumours about some big signing that we here at SmackDown have made from our Distinguished Competition. Well, without naming names, I can say that it’s true. In two weeks time, there’ll be a major new star debuting here on SmackDown. But that’s not all. We’ve got a big name making his first appearance tonight, and there’ll be an English invasion right here on SmackDown in seven days time – we’ve been lucky enough to sign up several of England’s finest wrestlers to come and appear before you. Yes, it’s an exciting time to be following this show – do you hear me, playas?” [B]Rating: B- Gunner Scott (0) vs. Alex Shelley (1) (Best Of Seven Series: Match #2)[/B] Whereas the previous week’s match had seen Shelley leap into an early lead, it was Gunner Scott’s turn to take charge of proceedings, with Christy Hemme cheering him on every step of the way. He beat Shelley from pillar to post in the early going, but a corner charge saw him eat a Shelley elbow, followed by a lightning quick tornado DDT for two. Shelley tried to capitalise on his advantage, but Scott seemed particularly fired up for this match, and managed to keep the momentum in his favour throughout the match. The end, when it came, was surprisingly quick. Scott tried for a sunset flip after doubling Shelley over with a boot to the gut. Shelley sat down on Scott’s shoulders, however, and reached back to grab a double handful of trunks for the win completely out of the blue. [B]Winner: Alex Shelley (Shelley leads, 2-0) Rating: C[/B] Backstage, Steve Romero is with Matt Hardy. “Matt, you’ve spoken recently about a new attitude. Can you tell us a little bit more now?” “It’s simplicity itself. Time and again, I have been betrayed. It is a sensation that I have become most weary of. I am unwilling to accept betrayal and its likenesses anymore. Rest assured that if you come up against me, then you will assuredly deserve the beating that I will be giving you. Change your ways, seek forgiveness from those whom you have hurt and betrayed. I will still exact my vengeance upon you – but you may sleep easier at night.” [B]Rating: C- Matt Hardy vs. Simon Dean[/B] The announcers speculated on what sin Dean was guilty of. Vince suggested gluttony (“That tracksuit of his is looking a bit tight around the waist these days.”) while JBL speculated on lust (“I saw him chatting to Michelle McCool this afternoon – damn sure I’m guilty of it whenever she’s around”) while Michael Cole tried to maintain a semblance of professionalism. Hardy thoroughly dominated the match, beating the fitness consultant around the ring and delivering a series of high impact moves. Dean tried to fight back and at one point tried to deliver a low blow, but Hardy caught his foot and stared wildly into Dean’s eyes, yelling something that seemed to put the fear of God into Dean, who tried to beg off. Instead Hardy pulled him in close and hit a Side Effect for the pin. [B]Winner: Matt Hardy Rating: C[/B] At the announcers table, the micmen discussed the next match. “Let me tell you both something,” JBL declared. “Gregory Helms is a fighting champion. Two men, three men, ten men – it doesn’t matter. You can say what you like about his tactics, Cole, but he’s effective.” “Indeed, and most impressive as well. He’s the sort of champion I love to see in WWE – a face all comers, take any route necessary to come out on top type of competitor,” Vince replied. “Someone like HHH?” Cole asked. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far – and I’m not sure that Helms would appreciate the comparison,” Vince replied, coldly, apparently not having forgiven Hunter for his recent shenanigans on Raw as part of DX. [B]Rating: C Akio vs. Tajiri vs. Gregory Helms (c) vs. Shannon Moore (WWE Cruiserweight title)[/B] Tajiri went straight after the champ in this fatal fourway match, leaving Akio and Moore to square off, harkening back to their matches in the last months of WCW. As if to reinforce that image, Helms and Moore united on several occasions to hit old 3 Count double team moves, as JBL guffawed at ringside. As with all fourways, the focus was more on the moves than the near falls, as with two spare men in the ring, most pins were broken up rather than escaped from. However, the match had its moments, including a stacking superplex that saw Akio superplex Helms while perched on Moore’s shoulders. Moore, who had been setting Akio up for a Helms dropkick, then turned around into a stiff kick from Tajiri, who got two on the pin attempt. Shortly afterwards, it was Tajiri in trouble, as Akio came off the top rope with a crossbody onto him, and tried to pin his fellow countryman. Moore broke up the pin on two and a half with a legdrop across the back of Akio’s head, but fell victim for the first time to a Helms attack, the champion terminating their partnership with a Shining Wizard for the win. [B]Winner, and still champion: Gregory Helms Rating: C+[/B] “Yet again, I prove my superiority to every other cruiserweight around. I hear that some big shots are coming here and that they want to make a splash. Well, if you can fit this belt of mine around your waist, I welcome the challenge. I’ll beat you – no question. No one can touch me.” With that, Helms spiked the mic into the mat and left the ring, pausing only to boot the fallen Akio in the head on the way. [B]Rating: C+ Super Crazy vs. Low Ki[/B] Low Ki once again showed off his impressive abilities in this match, firing off blow after blow to Crazy’s legs, effectively negating Crazy’s speed advantage. With Crazy limping, Low Ki then seemed to be taunting his opponent, going airborne several times with flying clotheslines and kicks that Crazy’s limited mobility would not let him avoid. The match came to an end when Crazy mounted a brief flurry of offence that saw him try and suplex Ki, but the move was reversed into the Ki Crusher 99 for a Low Ki victory. [B]Winner: Low Ki Rating: C[/B] After the match, Psicosis sprinted down to ringside and slid into the ring to try and attack Super Crazy, but when he approached his fallen nemesis, he was faced down by Low Ki, who wouldn’t let him attack the beaten man. When Psicosis tried to push past, Ki hit him with a vicious spinning kick to the back of his head, dropping the former Mexicool to the mat in a heartbeat. [B]Rating: C-[/B] Backstage, Christy Hemme and Jillian Hall talked about Gail Kim and Kristal Marshall. “Is it just me, or is it weird that two independent women like Gail and Kristall would choose to team up with Michelle McCool. Wouldn’t that just be a bit against their supposed approach to life?” Jillian asked. “Oh, you know how it is, Jillian,” Christy replied. “A lot of people talk big, but they really just want to be seen with the big names. It’s a shame, really. If they were a bit smarter, they’d know that there’s nothing big about Michelle.” “Well, her thighs are pretty big...” [B]Rating: C[/B] Elsewhere, Kendrick and London were discussing their upcoming title defence. “Like any good team, we learn from our mistakes,” London said. “We know that in the ring, it can be fun – but you have to take it seriously, too.” “If you don’t, then you make mistakes – you don’t win your matches.” “No mistakes tonight, though. Pitbulls, you’ve been impressive, but your run ends here.” [B]Rating: C+ Kendrick & London (c) vs. The Pitbulls (WWE Tag Team titles)[/B] Despite Kendrick and London’s confident words before the match, they didn’t seem to be on the same page as they started things off. Jamie Noble and Kid Kash’s aggressive style had them on the back foot in the early going, as they took every opportunity to cheat and bend the rules. London and Kendrick seemed to have no counter to their opponents’ style, and both men took a heavy beating before the fight spilled to the arena floor. All expectations to the contrary, this seemed to favour the champions, if only because Kash and Kendrick were brawling in a place that, when Kendrick went down, allowed London a clear shot at a diving leg lariat from the apron, nearly taking Kash’s head from his shoulders and putting the former ECW star out of the match. This left Noble alone against the champs, but what should have been a foregone conclusion was anything but. Kendrick and London seemed reluctant to make the most of their numerical advantage, opting to fight honourably, which allowed the tenacious Noble to avoid taking too much damage. Only as the time limit approached did frustration force the champs into double-teaming their opponent, but even a Double Dropsault wasn’t enough to beat the clock, and the holders had another frustrating draw. [B]Winners: None Rating: C+[/B] Ken Kennedy’s music played as the Mysterio-botherer came out to a mixture of cheers and jeers. The microphone dropped, and he smirked as he prepared to address the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen... This match is scheduled for one fall... In the ring, weighing in at 248 pounds of World Class Pizza fuelled near-Adonis, I come from Green Bay, Wisconsin, I am the best thing to happen to your TVs since Carmen Electra in Baywatch. I am Mr. Ken-n-n-n-n Ken-ne-dy.... “Kennedy. “And my opponent, a true Canadian hero – about 88% of what it takes to be a hero in America at our current exchange rate - Lance Storm.” [B]Rating: C+ Lance Storm vs. Ken Kennedy[/B] Mr. Kennedy was all over Mr. Storm in the opening spell of this match, dominating the former WCW Triple Crown holder with a series of punishing blows to the head. Storm fought back, however, working over Kennedy’s legs and back as he appeared to be seeking a submission victory. Kennedy, however, managed to kick his way free, although he appeared to be feeling the effects as he clutched at the small of his back and winced whenever he had a free moment. He tried to fight back with brawling tactics, clotheslining Storm on the back of his head, and grinding Storm’s face into the mat with his boot, but it was clear that he was suffering. Storm neatly reversed an attempted hiptoss into an abdominal stretch that saw the referee checking Kennedy’s arm once, twice, thr- but Kennedy just avoided a stoppage loss. Kennedy was on the defensive from that point on, begging off and trying to get out of the ring, but Storm stayed on him, clinically targeting his opponent’s back with suplexes and backbreakers, and even at one point hitting a Falcon Arrow for a desperately close two count. As Storm picked Kennedy up once more, Kennedy nailed the Canadian with a low blow that earned him a few moments breathing time. He crawled for the ropes, apparently looking to escape down the aisle, only to find Rey Mysterio standing at ringside. Kennedy froze, allowing a limping Storm to quickly wrap up his legs in a Canadian Mapleleaf. Kennedy called out in pain as the referee checked him for a submission. He stretched for the bottom rope, but Mysterio, grinning widely, pulled it out of his reach. Left with no other option, Kennedy tapped, giving Storm a huge victory and Rey a measure of revenge. [B]Winner: Lance Storm Rating: C+[/B] Rey stayed out to act as judge for the next segment, watching in satisfaction as Kennedy was helped to the back, without even the strength of ogle Christy Hemme and Gail Kim as they made their way to the ring for a bikini contest. Christy went first, wearing a red bikini that matched her hair. Gail was up next, in a smaller navy blue suit that earned her a surprisingly large response, but in the end Rey decided that Christy had got the bigger cheers, to Gail’s obvious annoyance. [B]Rating: B+ Bobby Lashley vs. Mark Henry (c) vs. ??? (WWE United States title)[/B] “Cut the music!” Vince McMahon stood in the centre of the ring, with Lashley and Henry on either side of him, looking wary. “Now, I want all you Minnesota sports fans to give it up for one of your big heroes. A former starting quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings, Ronald Gonzales!” As Vince went into uber-hype mode, a huge man, fully 6’6 and 300 pounds of solid muscle stepped through the curtain. Big and impressive – if never likely to win a place on the front of a cereal box – he had the look of a modern Big John Studd, wild hair and all, even down to the full length tights, although his were purple, each leg emblazoned with a white Viking horn. Lashley and Henry were wary of tying up with the new guy, who seemed to be very confident and content to pick his time to attack. Lashley and Henry tied up, and Henry backed Lashley back into a corner. A clean break followed, but Henry slapped Lashley hard across the face. Gonzales walked up behind the champ and tapped him on the shoulder. Henry turned, and Gonzales hoisted him up and through a massive belly-to-belly suplex. As Gonzales stood, Lashley snared him in a full nelson and tried to lift him up in a dragon suplex, but Gonzales was able to sandbag, and turned the move into an over the shoulder throw. As Henry climbed back to his feet, Gonzales hit him with a flying shoulder tackle that put the big man down. Charging again, Gonzales clotheslined Lashley out of the ring. Turning, Gonzales sighted in on Henry clambering to his feet once more. Barely was he upright than Gonzales flew through the air with a perfect Spear, knocking Henry to the mat and stunning him for the full three seconds required for Gonzales to be crowned the new United States champion. [B]Winner, and new champion: Ronald Gonzales Rating: C+[/B] Backstage, and King Booker was lying in wait behind some boxes. As Batista rounded the corner, chatting on his mobile, Booker exploded into action, cracking the big man over the head with his sceptre, and smashing him twice over the back with it until he was lying on the floor, out cold. [B]Rating: B[/B] “Batista, you wanted this to get personal? Well, you got your wish, dawg. The King takes special car of his business – and for a challenge like yourself, I won’t even bother letting my knights of the court soften you up first. It’s me and you, Batista. Can you dig that, sucka?” [B]Rating: B[/B] Michelle McCool came down to the ring, in a skimpy vest top and miniskirt, with a t-shirt cannon hanging from one hand and a microphone in the other. “Teddy Long asked me to come out here while the paramedics are checking on your hero Batista and give you something to take your mind off the sight of him having been beaten down so easily. I don’t know whether he meant the t-shirts-“ she fired one into the crowd “-or me...” she smiled winningly at the crowd, from which a small but audible “Shoot the t-shirts!” chant could be heard. “You want the t-shirts?” she asked. “Well, I always believe in giving people what they want – if they give me what I want first. So, what do you want? Me, or the t-shirts?” The t-shirt chant faded, only to be replaced by duelling “We want Ashley!” and “We want Christy!” chants, as Michelle looked sorely offended, and stormed off. [B]Rating: B-[/B] Backstage, darkness, but for the barely illuminated face of the Undertaker. “King Booker, you challenge the Undertaker at a time when I am keen to add another victim to my list. Do not think that I am distracted by The Great Khali. After tonight, you will rest... in... peace...” [B]Rating: B The Undertaker vs. King Booker [/B] King Booker seemed to be hyped from his earlier assault on Batista, and went after Undertaker from the off. Drilling the Dead Man with slams and suplexes, Booker was in complete control until Taker reversed an Irish whip into the corner and followed in with a charging clothesline that flattened the King. Taker then went old school, driving Booker to his knees while holding onto the wrist lock, and then spent a short while working over Booker’s arm, before shifting to his more traditional power-oriented offence. Taker drove Booker into the mat several times, before a sneaky small package by the King got two and allowed him to bail from the ring for a little breathing space and some comfort from Sharmell. Taker followed him out, however, and as Sharmell screamed and ran away, Booker took a huge boot to the face, sending him sprawling backwards and into the ring post. Taker charged, but Booker had the wherewithal to move out of the way, and Taker ran full tilt into the ringpost, staggering him. Booker sent Taker into the ring, and tried to finish the match with a Book End, but only got two. A DDT got two as well, as did a Scissors Kick. Undertaker sat up, and stared a hole through the King, who backed up to the ropes, seeking comfort from Sharmell. Taker got up, and clamped a hand around Booker’s throat. Lifting him up for a chokeslam, Taker instead felt the full force of Booker’s sceptre crashing down on his skull. Letting Booker drop, he doubled over, blood trickling from a new cut on his forehead. Booker tossed the sceptre from the ring out of the ref’s sight, bounced off the ropes and, before Taker could straighten up, nailed a second Scissors Kick for the pin and the victory. [B]Winner: King Booker Rating: B[/B] As Booker and Sharmell celebrated, and Taker struggled to his feet, Daivari and the Great Khali hit the ring, and attacked Taker before he had a chance to defend himself. Booker and Sharmell watched on in amusement as Khali drove Taker into the mat with a thunderous chokeslam before grinding his face into the mat with his boot. [B]Rating: B Show overall: C+[/B] * [I]OOC: Ronald Gonzales was July's generated wrestler - a Heidenreich-alike of the sort beloved by Vinnie Mac, and therefore an easy choice for hiring. I'll post a pic of his stats when I get a chance. Big, powerful, and no clue about psychology or anything like that. Should be fun to have him around...[/I]
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Another really good show brother. I like the way you write up Smackdown, it has a very old school, wrestling orented feel that I like. The only advice I would give would be to spruce up the presentation a bit. Maybe add a few pictures and what not to give it that extra appeal. However it is your diary and I will be reading it eithier way. Great show!
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[QUOTE=The Stallion]Another really good show brother. I like the way you write up Smackdown, it has a very old school, wrestling orented feel that I like. The only advice I would give would be to spruce up the presentation a bit. Maybe add a few pictures and what not to give it that extra appeal. However it is your diary and I will be reading it eithier way. Great show![/QUOTE] I have to disagree, the writing in this one is so [I]on[/I] that I don't think it needs any extra distractions, especially when pictures are usually the substitute for great writing. You're painting the picture so well, keep up the great work, James.
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