Wrestling In The Rockies

[auberginian]

So, what happens if the evil genius Professor Adler moves to the quiet, sleepy town of Cheyenne, Wyoming and decides to open up a wrestling promotion for some nefarious reason? I have no idea but I guess we will find out together. 

I am going to set Rocky Mountain Wrestling to open on January 1st, 2022 (yes I am going to start on the default date) and I am going to change the product to Silver Age wrestling because I think it suits me better but other than that no other changes to the database will be made.

Once I start I will hire as many wrestlers as I can that are based "Near To North West". 

Expect the style to range from early 80s to mid-90s style wrestling because I am old and that is the style I fondly remember from my youth.

Expect it to be kind of cheesy, full of characters who will be acting as broad stereotypical caricatures that do not represent nor reflect how people in real life should behave, act, or represent themselves. nor does it reflect the real life opinions, beliefs, views, or values of the author.

Obviously, I will be using the Professor Adler avatar and I will be removing all other user characters from the game.

Finally, it will be purely text-based, I don't know how to do all that fancy new-fangled graphics stuff and I am too old to learn.

And with that I am going to go get things set up.

Edited Friday at 04:01 PM by auberginian
correct word choice errors

[auberginian]

Happy Monday readers, I am Owen Money and welcome to this issue of Front Range Wrestling, where we bring you all the news and gossip in the world of pro wrestling from Albuquerque to Kalispell. The big story this month is the fact that the mysterious Viktor Adler decided to open a local wrestling promotion right here in the Rocky Mountain empire. Rocky Mountain Wrestling, zero points for originality, officially opened it's doors at the first of the year and Professor Adler could not have picked a better time. The wrestling industry is sizzling right now and people are clamoring for more live wrestling events coming out of the recent pandemic. The economy looks like it is starting to bounce back as well so the fans should have some extra cash to spend on tickets, merch, etc.

We have been told that the very first show will be held at the old Depot Auditorium in Cheyenne and is scheduled for Tuesday, January 25th. The RMW management, and by that I mean Professor Adler, has been very tight lipped about who we might expect to see at the event but I have learned from a reliable anonymous source that Adler has been raiding the CZCW trash bin, and we can expect to see Mr. Submission himself, Al Coleman, along with fellow CZCW alum, Remmy Skye. The word is also out that the legendary *cough* Coyote Dynamite has been brought in to run the operation backstage.

In other news from around the world of wrestling it appears that EILL and CZCW have come to an agreement for EILL to send developmental talent to CZCW. I am really looking forward to seeing what new faces show up on the left coast of wrestling.

Also USPW recently went on a hiring spree signing a variety of new wrestlers to their roster, probably to help support the fact that they will debuting a new televised program tipped to be called USPW: One on One. It seems that Allen Packer and Rich Money have things clicking on all cylinders down there in Georgia.

Finally, down in Houston, it has been reported that a recent meeting took place between Boss Man Brayfield and Mateo Iglesias which leads one to wonder what new and exciting things are in store for the lovely ladies in QAW.

Well readers that is all for now but I will be back in three weeks with an actual eyewitness account of all the action from Rocky Mountain Wrestling's inaugural event, Ready, Steady, Gold!

Edited Friday at 03:17 PM by auberginian

[auberginian]

Hello valued readers, I am Owen Money, and welcome to another issue of Front Range Wrestling. As promised, I traveled all the way into the windy wastelands of Wyoming to attend the inaugural live event of Professor Adler's new Rocky Mountain Wrestling promotion. I would like to say that it didn't disappoint but that would be giving it way too much credit. Although I came into the show with really low expectations it managed to live down to most of them. Before I get into the details let me quickly touch on some of the other big news going on in our little corner of the wrestling world (and beyond!)

First of all, the word on the streets of the City of Angels is that Professor Adler extended some sort of peace offering to Brother Grimm. While I wasn't able to get all the details, my source inside GSW tells me that the GSW announcers did provide a shameless plug for RMW during a recent show. Apparently, Brother Grimm does have some love for RMW. The interesting thing is that the simmering tensions between GSW and IPW have rumored to have escalated to outright hostilities. I am interested to see if RMW's cozying up to GSW has any blow back from IPW.

I also learned that 2 members of the RMW roster flew in at the last minute, apparently returning from a recent stint, touring with one of the Japanese promotions. I wasn't able to find out which members of the roster or which promotion, but I promise you, dear reader, not to give up. As soon as I have anything more on this story I will let you know.

Finally, it looks like things might be finally turning around for our good friends at TCW, as it appears that they improved their position and are looking to try to overtake SWF.

Okay, without any further ado, let's move on to my review of last night's event: Ready, Steady, Gold!

The official ticket sales for the event was stated to be 68, but I saw about a dozen empty chairs so the actual attendance was probably closer to the mid-50s. Also, it seemed to me that the fans were not that into the merch, which makes sense as none of it looked all that remarkable.

The show opened with Mark Smart (wait didn't he used to be that USPW jobber?) taking on some guy I've never heard of named Orion Hunter. Mark didn't disappoint and he wrestled like someone who has worked in the major leagues before. However, the Hunter kid put on a wrestling clinic and overall the fans were eating this match up. Matter of fact, they got a little vocal when the match ended after only 12 minutes with Mark Smart hitting the Smart Attack and picking up the win.

Next up was Eddie Mercury (are you serious?) taking on Rafiki (no, not the baboon, although that would be cool). There was nothing special about this match. I mean both wrestlers were okay, with Mercury putting on a slightly better performance, but the fact is that it was pretty bland. The crowd was still simmering about the previous match being cut short and these guys caught some of the flack. In the end, Mercury hit his finisher, called the Mercury Rising, and scored the pinfall.

Rafiki had barely picked himself up off the mat when Kid Kong strutted out to the ring, ignoring several shouts of "Cheech" that rang from the audience. He announced that he and Rafiki were bringing the GSW Experience to the fans...blah...blah...blah. Shouldn't this have been done before Rafiki ended up on his back?

Back to the action, some guy in a dragonesque mask calling himself Malibu Dragon took on Broadside. This guy is huge! I mean he may not be that big up in the major leagues but down here in Single A he is a monster. The match really got the crowd going as the wrestling was only sub-par, which for a local show like this is a compliment. Broadside missed a few spots but the Dragon covered nicely and in the end Broadside delivered a massive Choke Slam that actually shook the ring for the 1.2.3.

Finally, we had our first title match, this one for the RMW Tag Team championship. It featured the Night Club Express against the Sin City Outlaws. The Outlaws definitely carried the match and they really appeared to be in sync. The Night Club Express seem to be typical independent flyers that can hit those high spots but manage to botch a clothesline. I mean, come on, who can't hit a clothesline? Looking at you DJ Cruise...anyways the Outlaws seemed to have the match in hand until a miscommunication allowed Busta Move (wait, this has to be some sort of rip-off of Busta Capp! You guys are killing me) to deliver his Flo Motion finisher and steal the win. Night Club Express become the first ever RMW Tag Team champions.

Obviously, Cassius King and Warren Love (Sin City Outlaws) felt cheated and they took their anger out on the new champions by beating them down in the middle of the ring. Love tried to spit on the title belts (Hey! there is no call for that, besides you missed you idiot) as they left the ring.

Next up we had local boy done good, The Flying Patriot, taking on a former military guy calling himself Major Honcho. Well, Honcho hits like a truck and poor Patriot ended up being tossed around the ring like a rag doll for most of the match. I have to give to Patriot credit. No matter how many times he got knocked down (sing it with me) he got up again, nothing was gonna keep him down. Sorry! I digress. In the end Honcho locked on what resembled a STF that he called the Major Pain and forced a tap out.

Remmy Skye came to the ring! And talked...about what? I have no idea, have you ever tried to follow a Remmy Skye promo? *Yawn* can we get back to the action please?

The GSW Experience was back in the house as Cheech ...uhh, I mean Kid, Kong took on the American Dragon. Is it just me or do you have to fight the urge to call him Jake Long? Anyone? No? Okay back to the report... This Dragon (I really need a way to avoid confusing him with that other dragon) can put on a not bad match and managed to cover up several blown spots. Kid Kong played to the crowd well though, and finally hit a Moonsault to score the pinfall.

THE MAIN EVENT! Straight out of the CZCW recycling bin we had "Mr. Submission" Al Coleman taking on Remmy Skye for the RMW Federation title. Okay, I am being too harsh, I have been a fan of Coleman since his MAW days and he can still put on a good match, and his performance was definitely the highlight of the night. Remmy countered with some decent catch as catch can wrestling and at one point seemed to be taking charge of the match. However, Professor Adler appeared at ringside and distracted Remmy (not that that's difficult to do) and allowed Coleman to lock on his Ankle Brace finisher. Which I am going to start calling the most feared move in the Rocky Mountains, because I can. Remmy quickly tapped out and Coleman became the first ever RMW Federation champion.

Well, that was it, I got out of the windy wastelands as quickly as possible and back down to civilization, here in Colorado, to write this report up for you, my treasured readers. I will have to say that after what I saw tonight, this was fun while it lasted, but I will be surprised if they bother with a second show.

[auberginian]

Good morning valued readers, I am Owen Money,  your stalwart defender of truth and wrestling here in the Rocky Mountain empire, and welcome to another edition of Front Range Wrestling, the only publication, online or in print that brings you all the latest from the local wrestling scene. Big news coming out of the windy wastelands to the north. It appears that Professor Adler’s Rocky Mountain Wrestling is going to live to see another show. And amazingly, the evil genius that he is, has decided to actually promote the promotion, now that is some brain power working there. Here is what was put out as far as the official press release:

Tuesday, February 22^nd, at the Student Center Auditorium in Laramie, WY, RMW proudly presents School Of Pain (it’s almost like he got these show names from a random generator or something).

The advertised card is as follows:

·       The RMW Federation champion, Al Coleman, will be taking on the massive Broadside in a non-title match.

·       Major Honcho is taking on Mark Smart

·       Remmy Skye is going one-on-one with ½ of the Sin City Outlaws, Warren Love

·       The RMW Tag Team champions, Night Club Express, will be defending their titles against Double Dragon.

So, there you have it folks. I am not sure whether to be excited or frightened about this. Either way I have to make the harrowing journey into the frozen, wintry wastes in less than 3 weeks so I can bring you, my dear readers, all the news and action from (cue dramatic music): School Of Pain!

Edited Monday at 05:40 PM by auberginian

[auberginian]

Welcome back faithful followers of real professional wrestling, I am Owen Money, and thank you for taking the time to read the latest edition of Front Range Wrestling. Let me tell you it is dark in Laramie,  it is cold in Laramie, it is hard to breathe in Laramie and that was where I was last night for all the action of RMW's latest show, School of Pain. I have to say that Professor Adler did a much better job of selecting a venue this time since the Student Center Auditorium is small so the 67 fans, supposedly, in attendance were packed in tightly and made it feel like a bigger crowd.

But as I walked in several minutes before the show was supposed to start there was already a match going on. I was told it was a "dark" match, what? This isn't being televised, all your matches are dark matches you idiots! My gawd.

Anyway, the match featured former IPW Californian champion, Stanley Axis, taking on Cassius King. The two men looked like they had met before and the action shifted back and forth with neither men really getting any serious momentum. Just about the time most of the crowd had actually settled it and started to pay attention King hit his Cash Drop finisher and scored the pinfall.

Some low-rent techno-trash filled the arena and out came the tag team champions, Busta Groove & DJ Cruise, to the ring. They started yammering about being "fighting" champions when thankfully they were interrupted by Eddie Mercury & Orion Hunter. The two men babbled something about Night Club Express putting their money where their mouth was and stormed the ring. And suddenly there was an unscheduled title match!

The Heavenly Bodies took the fight to the champions and gained the early advantage. Both Mercury and Hunter are better in-ring performers but Groove & Cruise know how to play to the crowd. Cruise hit a couple of spots that got the crowd oo-ing and aw-ing while totally ignoring another blown clothesline. (basics Cruise basics!) In the end Night Club Express just worked better as a team and isolated Hunter long enough for Cruise to deliver his Cruise Control finisher for the victory.

After that Major Honcho came to the ring and started yelling and screaming about something...I couldn't be bothered to pay attention since I was too busy buying some overpriced nachos.

Next we had Remmy Skye somehow wander into the ring to take on 1/2 of the rightful tag team champions, Warren Love. Surprisingly, this Love guy can actually wrestle, some might say he has great "Technique", and Remmy seemed to have trouble staying focused. Eventually Skye started to mount a comeback and with the crowd behind him (LEMMINGS! You are just lemmings) took charge. Just as Skye had set Love up for his big finish, Cassius King appeared at ringside and distracted Remmy long enough for Love to lock on his Love Handle finisher, forcing a quick tap out by Skye.

Whatever Honcho had been screaming about must have worked because he was up next against Mark Smart. Like I said last month, Honcho hits like a HumVee and he started off strong against Smart. But, Mark has been pummeled by the likes of Sam Strong, Nicky Champion, & Giant Redwood *shameless USPW plug* so he absorbed the beating and mounted a furious comeback. Honcho resorted to cheating to take control when suddenly Flying Patriot raced to the ring and dove over the ring ropes, attempting a crossbody block, but Honcho caught him and promptly deposited him hard on the floor. But Smart used this distraction to deliver a Smart Attack, roll Honcho up, and get the pin. Then he ran backstage quickly like a coward, a very smart coward.

Al Coleman entered the ring reminding everyone he was the champ but tonight's bout was a non-title match. That's when Broadside appeared and appealing to Coleman's ego managed to goad the champ into putting the title on the line! Wow! I can't believe that worked and giving how I saw Adler practically spit out his drink, neither could he.

THE MAIN EVENT! Broadside started the match on fire and the big man had Coleman reeling, but Al Coleman is the CHAMP! for a reason. He took what the big man could dish out and eventually Broadside began to tire and then Coleman pounced and took the fight to big man, eventually knocking him off his feet and finally locking on the "most feared move in the Rocky Mountains" his Ankle Brace finisher. I have to hand it to the big man, he refused to tap and eventually passed out from the pain. Coleman left the ring still the champ.

Well there you go dear readers, that's it, that's the end of the show. I feel like the effort was there but the execution was lacking, with the exception of Al Coleman of course. I did manage to overhear (read I was eavesdropping) that next month the RMW was going to be at the Territorial Prison in Rawlins...so that will be fun.

[auberginian]

Good afternoon dear readers! Owen Money here; the official press release from Rocky Mountain Wrestling for their upcoming show is just about to be sent out online, but I, your unwavering beacon of enlightenment, have managed to get a sneak peak from my confidential source inside the company. So with all the ado and fanfare appropriate of some two-bit hack of a wrestling promotion plodding their way through the windy wastelands of Wyoming let me present to you:

Take No Prisoners

Coming to you live from the Territorial Prison cafeteria (wait should this show be called Food Fight then?) in Rawlins, WY on March 22nd. You will get to see:

Al Coleman vs Kid Kong - The master of the "most feared move in the Rocky Mountains" taking on one of several GSW rejects hiding out here in RMW.

Major Honcho vs Mark Smart vs Remmy Skye - According to my source both Honcho and Skye whined enough that this will be a #1 Contender's Match, with the winner earning the right to lose to Al Coleman in April.

Broadside vs ??? - The "Monster of the Mountains" will be in action against a surprise opponent.

Night Club Express vs Double Dragon - The double D were upset that their title shot was stolen by the Heavenly Bodies last month and the rumor is they threatened to quit if they didn't get a title match this month! I say good riddance but apparently it worked for them, so maybe they can send NCE packing back to the coast.

Rafiki vs ??? - Rafiki returns to the ring and faces off against another surprise opponent, which I have been told is a second generation wrestler. Any guesses? Anyone...

The Heavenly Bodies vs Stanley Axis and a partner of his choosing - This is not how you build drama Professor! What exactly are you a professor of? Not theatre that is for sure.

There you have it my treasured readers. While I am always down to see Al Coleman dismantle some hapless opponent, and I am hoping that maybe Major Honcho can rid the wrestling world of Remmy Skye once and for all, the rest of the card seems kind of blasé. Thank you for subscribing to Front Range Wrestling, the only place where you can get all your wrestling information from the Rocky Mountain empire and please like and follow me on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you get this.