NoleAnimal Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 November 10th, 2006 Philadelphia, PA Temple University administrators have decided to cancel the football program, effective at the end of the season. In effort to develop much-needed publicity for the university and create a festive atmosphere in which to bid "goodbye" to the football program, the administration has decided to raffle off the head coach position for the season finale against Navy. Current Temple Head Coach, Gal Olden, had already decided to pursue other opportunities elsewhere. The administration has had trouble finding a suitable replacement, citing the little interest they had received about the job. It was then that the administration decided to cancel the football program, saying it would save the university badly-needed money. Coach Olden then informed the Temple Athletic Director that he would immediately be taking over for Urban Cryer at the University of Florida, who recently demoted himself to Tight-Ends Coach. Cryer said, "Our tight-ends coach recently passed-away by getting his foot stuck in one of our uniform washing machines. Somehow the the machine got turned on and beat him to death. I couldn't pass up this opporunity to coach the Tight-Ends because... well... I like tight ends." Temple was faced with the dire situations of needing a head coach but not having in money to pay him. "Why not have someone pay us?" the university president wondered aloud. The brilliance of the moment struck everyone. Hold a raffle for the head coach position! So, this Saturday, at Temple's game against Penn State, neither team will have a head coach. At halftime, Temple will announce a winner from out of more than 20,000 tickets sold at $100 a piece. The new head coach will be flown to Philadelphia on Sunday to meet his new team and prepare with his new staff members for the Owls final game against Navy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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