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This'll be a little different. I won't do this constantly... just whenever Raw leaves such a taste in my mouth that I simply need to do something about it. In these cases, I won't be playing TEW as a game, I'll be using it as a tool. January 15th, 2007. Monday Night Raw The show opens and Rated RKO comes to the ring, still banged up but better than last week. They talk about how they brutalized Flair so bad he can't even beat Kenny. They talk about putting Flair on the shelf. And they talk about how tonight they're going to beat the smile off of HBK's face permanently. Out comes HBK (to his own music). He tells them that last week, he had a long talk with Hunter. And that the two of them decides that D-Generation X is too important to let a couple of wanna-bes destroy it. So there will be no handicapped match tonight. RKO protests, saying they went through official channels, and if HBK doesn't wrestle, he's violating his contract. HBK replies by saying that they got overconfident when they shelved Triple H, and that made them stupid. The match contract doesn't say 'RKO vs HBK'. The contract says 'RKO vs DX'. And with that in mind, there's someone waiting backstage. Someone who both he and Hunter decided should fill Hunter's shoes, someone who is, essentially, the choice for a new D-Generation. And he's got a question for you. Over the speakers comes a voice. "Are you ready?" HBK smiles as Orton and Edge look at each other, worried. Fade to commercial, Lawler and JR acting confused. Segment time: twelve minutes. Commercials. Four minutes. We come back with JR and Lawler trying to place that voice, and backstage Armando is talking to Coachman, telling him Uuuuuumage wants his rematch, and he wants it tonight. Coachman is about to agree, when The Great Khali breaks the office door down and pins Coachman to the wall. After speaking foreign for a bit, with both Coachman and Armando confused, he drops Coach and motions around his waist - miming a title belt. "You mean... you want a title match? Tonight?" "No no no, Amigo. You see, my client, the Samoan Bullso*urk*" Khali grabs Armando by the throat and proceeds to beat the crap out of him. It needs to be a beating so bad the viewers begin to feel sympathy for Armando. After it's over, Khali looks at Coachman, who stammers and faints. Khali walks out of the now-destroyed office. Segment time: Seven minutes. The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Kenny Dykstra. And his partner, Johnny Nitro. And their opponents, first, Jeff Hardy. And his partner, Ric Flair. Hardy & Flair control most of the match until Hardy does something high-risk to the outside and eats floor, letting Nitro knock Flair silly while the ref is distracted, and Kenny rolls him up for the win. Segment length: 12 minutes (including four minutes of commercial time). Backstage, paramedics are loading Armando onto a stretcher. Vince is there too. "My god. Khali did this to these two men?" "Two? No, no, the bald guy just fainted." "... fainted? What a wuss." The paramedics scatter as Uuuuumaga runs in, yelling and screaming, trying to get Armando to wake up. Security pulls him off and lets the paramedics wheel Armando out, and Vince looks at the furious Umaga. "I know who did this to him. Would you like to get your hands on him?" Wild grunting follows. By Umaga, not Vince. "Very well. Next week, it'll be The Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga... against The Great Khali. And the winner will face John Cena at the Royal Rumble." Segment time: five minutes. The next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Trevor Murdoch (accompanied by Lance Cade). And his opponent, JTG (accompanied by Shad Gaspard). Apparently, the Texas Rangers got a rematch after the replays showed Cryme Tyme cheating. Murdoch over powers JTG for most of the match, but the heels get ****y and Cade tries to help, gets warned by the ref, and Gaspard clocks Murdoch to allow JTG to get the win. Match time: Five minutes. Commercials. Three minutes. Video package on Triple H's injury, diagnosis, surgery, and talking about how he's gone through this before. Segment length: Five minutes. Commercials. Three minutes. Start of the second hour. Vince McMahon comes out and states that it's time for some more New Year's Resolutions. First, to have the two biggest monsters on Raw collide. He's taken care of that, it'll be next week. Second, to have the refs pay better attention to matches. Any ref who doesn't catch shenanigans like the last two matches will be fired. And third... to have a Rosie vs Donald rematch, right here, right now!" The crowd will, predictably, crap on this... and then pop when John Cena's music plays. Cena proceeds to cut a promo on last week's 'match', Rosie, Donald, and a few veiled comments about Vince. When it's all over, Cena says, "Now, I may not be medically cleared tonight, but I'm still here, and dammit, I wanna see some wrestling." Cena leaves McMahon standing there, speechless and considering and slightly mad. Segment time: Eight minutes. Commercials. Four minutes. The following match is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, Hacksaw Jim Duggan. And introducing his opponent, Rory MacAllister. Short match, basicly time filler, the Highlander getting the win. Match time: four minutes. Backstage, Carlito, Torrie, and Mickie James are discussing their upcoming tag team match. After insults about Victoria, Melina, and Masters, a door opens and the three turn and jawdrop. Mickie: "Awwww, yeah." Torrie: "I guess Khali's not the only contract that got signed last week." Carlito: "Now that's cool." But we don't look towards the doorway. From the opposide side of the room comes... Farooq, who looks at the same person the others are looking are looking at. "Damn!" Segment time: four minutes. The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first: The Masterpiece, Chris Masters. His partner, Victoria. And their partner, Melina. And their opponents, Carlito and Torrie. And their partner, Mickie James. Some back and forth depending on who's in the ring, but it ends with a Masterlock on Mickie James. Once she's unconcious, Masters lifts her up so that Victoria can deliver a Widow's Peak. Segment time: seven minutes. Commercials. Four minutes. The following match is scheduled for one fall. Entering first: Robbie MacAllister. And his opponent, Super Crazy. robbie gets power moves, Super Crazy gets fast-paced stuff, ends with Super Crazy Rolling up Robbie and then yanking his hand out from under the kilt, shocked, letting Robbie get the surprise pin. Segment length: Eight minutes. Backstage, Rated RKO discuss their plans. "Wait... you don't think it's Batista, do you?" "No. He's too comfortable over on Smackdown." "Right. Flair?" "Too obvious." "Scott Hall?" "No, we'd be able to smell the booze from here." "Kevin Nash?" "No... but he'd jump at the chance to come back here. And then he'd tear his quad from jumping too hard." "Then where the hell have I heard that voice before?" Segment time: Four minutes. Give them a couple extra if they're funny. Commercials: Three minutes. The following match is your main event, and is a non-title match. Introducing first, Rated RKO. Annnd they get a mic. "You know what, Shawn? We've been talking. And we've decided. It doesn't matter who you bring out here. We're still going to beat you within an inch of your life. And whoever comes out with you? We'll beat them within an inch of their life, too. You call this a 'new' D-Generation? Well it's going to be dead before it gets a chance to start." Segment time: Three minutes. Commercials. Three minutes. We come back to Rated RKO still in the ring with their music playing, having just cut a promo for cheap local heel heat. "Are you ready?" DX's music starts, and out comes HBK... who puases, turns back, and motions for his partner to come out... and out he comes, arms crossed before him in an X, it's CM Punk. The two head to the ring as Rated RKO clears out and do the 'Diesel/HBK' pose, with Punk in the back, arms crossed. Shawn tosses the mic to Punk. "Are you ready? I said, are. You . Ready? Then for the thousands in attendance... for the millions watching at home... and for every loser and wanna-be who said that CM Punk and 'straight edge' would never get anywhere... llllllllet's get ready to..." SUCK IT. "Nah. Let's get ready to tap out. And if you ain't down with that, I got two words for ya." We walk a fine line between PPV-quality and RAW-quality here, and a false finish when Edge fakes a quad-tear and Orton chairs Punk while the ref's not looking... but the ref refuses to count it, pointing to his ear and then miming a chairshot and reminding Edge how Vince said he'd get fired. The real ending comes when everyone is in the ring at once, the faces get the upper hand, and Edge tosses Orton one of the Tag Team Titles, Orton goes to hit HBK with it, Superkick out of nowhere sends the belt into Orton's face, and the ref calls for the bell as Punk puts Edge in the Anaconda Vice. The bell rings as Edge taps and Punk and HBK think they've won it, celebrating in the ring as Orton and Edge retreat, but the official announcement is "Your winners by disqualification, Rated RKO." Punk and HBK can't believe it, and we fade out wiht JR saying, "There's no way this is over, hell, it's just getting good!" Segment time (with four minutes of commercials) 23 minutes. Total time: 2 hrs 15 minues. Match time: 51 minutes Commercial time: 32 minutes Non-match time: 52 minutes Thoughts? We keep Khali out of the ring, begin what could be a face turn for Armando and Umaga, pull a "make the smarts cream themselves" with Punk, further the current feuds, get the Highlanders some face time... cover all the bases. The Cena/Vince segment lets us build more towards a Vince/Trump thing later on...
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