same-old-davey

TEW.com WRESTLING NEWS December 7, 2001 John Layfield Appointed CEO of WCW After a brief period of uncertainty within the wrestling industry, WCW has made quite a few announcements over the past day or so regarding their future. In a surprising twist of events, part-time wrestler John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL) was appointed CEO of the company today. He was officially inaugurated on Thursday evening in Atlanta after he signed his official contract with the board of directors at Turner Media. Reports indicate that JBL will not only run WCW, but will also work as head booker alongside Dusty Rhodes and Mike Graham, working together to figure out what direction the promotion should take. Some critics in the industry have been skeptical of this decision, given JBL's background as just an in-ring performer, without any previous experience running anything of significance before taking up this role. Many insiders believe it would make more sense for someone like Eric Bischoff, who already held various positions within WCW such as Executive Vice President and General Manager during its tenure under Turner's ownership, to take charge instead. In addition, the first episode of World Championship Wrestling aired under JBL's direction has been criticized, with a Pro Wrestling Insider review calling it "awkward" and "uneven." It is unclear what kind of changes JBL will bring to WCW; some worry that this change may not be for the better, while others (including New York Times columnist Christopher Grazzi) are cautiously optimistic. Regardless, one thing remains certain: WCW's future rests firmly in its new CEO’s hands now. ~A mostly-watcher diary detailing the inner workings and news articles of a world gone stark raving stupid.~

It helps if both databases you use start at the same date.

Takin't a break from this, gotta explore some new ideas

I love being Strong Bad but I do have other good diary ideas that I don't wanna go to waste. I just can't do two diaries at once. Maybe I can stop for a while, but then come back to it when I start to miss the ramblin' wreck of Sbemail check.

Do you folks think it's smart to continue a diary that just one person ever looks at, or try something new that will put proverbial butts in seats?

Too many exciting matches this week! So I'll just list the best ones. On this week's Smackdown: Interview with World Heavyweight champion Edge. He discusses wrestlers using performance-enhancers in wrestling, saying his trainer would give him Total Load Powder but only in moderation. When asked if he thought John Cena's new workout routine was Total Load-related, Edge replied that it didn't matter since Cena's workouts always ended up hurting people regardless - hinting at a potential feud between both superstars? Maybe next week we'll find out more! Title match: Edge (c) vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE World Heavyweight title. It's safe to say, this match was full of fast paced action with Angle almost getting the victory with his Ankle Lock, only for Snitsky to come into the ring and distract him enough for Edge to hit a spear, which resulted in a pinfall. Yawn. After the match, Triple H appeared and informed Angle they could settle matters at the Royal Rumble. Seems like a midcard match might be brewing! My favorite bits from the WWE Royal Rumble 2008: Segment with Hulk Hogan. We get video package of HH inviting anyone in the audience to get into the ring. Finally, one fan does...and it turns out to be none other than Shawn Michaels! The crowd goes wild for the reunion of these two. Title match: Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Big Show & Kane for the WWE Tag Team titles. Good match as usual, and Mysterio won by pinning Show after catching him between the legs with a big 619 and scoring the pinfall. Predictable ending, but still exciting nonetheless. Very exciting title match on this week's episode of ROH Wrestling: Title match: Nigel McGuinness (c) vs. Matt Sydal for the ROH Pure title. Extremely intense brawl with both men trading blows back and forth. McGuinness retained his crown after hitting the Tower of London cutter on Sydal. Great stuff here folks! Also this week was the live event ROH Without Remorse: Title match: Brian Danielson (c) vs. Abyss vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Low-Ki for the ROH World title. The fans went nuts when the legendary Abyss entered the fray for an impromptu, yet entertaining showdown. Danielson remained champ at the end of the night, managing to beat all challengers with a devastating crossface chickenwing. The ZERO1-Max Solidarity tour concluded with a big event live on GAORA Sports: Title match: Carlos Amano (c) vs. Azumi Hyuga for the AWA Japan Women's title. Amazing showing of female grapplers, who displayed a wild exchange of kicks and throws before Azumi won the belt via K.O after administering a brutal German that left Amano incapacitated. Congrats to the new champ and good job carving out space in a male-focused industry. Title match: Yoshinobu Kanemaru (c) vs. Naomichi Marufuji for the NWA United National Heavyweight title. This was as explosive and hotly contested as you'd expect from these guys. A kick off to the head followed by a cradle left Kanemaru holding aloft the belt after a 3 count. Congratulations on the impressive win, Yoshinobu! In other wrestling news: Brock Lesnar and Sable finally got married in Tohoku; the first photos are splashed across wrestling sites. In an interview, Brock reveals his intent to return to MMA once he "is done" with pro wrestling. He remains coy about what that means exactly. Takao Omori has been raising eyebrows lately due to his heavy criticisms toward NJPW management. Some think it could lead to more internal strife or even his departure from the promotion. Title changes at the Royal Rumble: Mr. Kennedy has regained control over the United States Championship, while Matt Hardy defeated Booker T for the Extreme title. John Cena is your Royal Rumble winner this year. TNA has made new broadcasting deals with Azteca 7 and Star Choice starting February this year. In this week's drama, Jazz has reportedly cheated on Rodney Mack with one of The Naturals... things might get interesting if they come out into the open about it. Jack Evans has been injured during ROH Wrestling and will miss some time, thankfully only two weeks. Ring of Honor Wrestling will be showing on TBS in the United States in February '08. A major expansion of ROH's reach is expected. Additional title changes at ZERO1-Max Solidarity: Skull & Bones dethroned Kendo KaShin & KAMIKAZE for the Intercontinental Tag Team titles; Masato Tanaka reclaimed the International Junior Heavyweight title from Toshiaki Kawada; C.W. Anderson lost the United States Openweight title to Shinjiro Otani. Antifaz del Norte, Aerostar and Corazon del Barrio have all been injured, leading to a cancellation of multiple shows involving those acts. At a gym in Georgia... Starring: {Cut to Strong Bad walking into the room where Dusty Rhodes and his son Cody are hanging out, looking very pleased with himself.} STRONG BAD: {smiling broadly} Gentlemen, I've got some great news for you. How would you like to see this young blunderdog here joining the All-World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment? DUSTY RHODES: Son, how'd you manage to catch the eye of the AWMPSCE scouts? CODY RHODES: Yeah Dad, tell me what happened! STRONG BAD: {chuckles} Oh, nothing too fancy. Just a little bit of luck and being within five miles of our gymnasium. {grins mischievously} And maybe having a certain shady Brady who knows when to make things happen... DUSTY RHODES: {raising an eyebrow} Uh huh, well whatever it is, I love it. So Cody, you ready to take your rasslin' skills to new heights? CODY RHODES: Yeah, let's do it! {They all shake hands on the deal. Dusty turns to Strong Bad.} DUSTY RHODES: Strong Bad, I owe you one for making this happen, baby. But I won't forget it. STRONG BAD: My pleasure, Dusty. Now I believe Cody will be starting out as "ZZ Ray", Booker Z's estranged brother. Pretty un-derivative, don't you think? CODY RHODES: Sure does. Well, if you'll excuse me, I need to go break the news to Dustin that my dream just came true. Thanks again, guys! {Cody leaves, and Dusty looks at Strong Bad skeptically.} DUSTY RHODES: Alright, I can't say I trust everything about this, but the outcome seems to be good so far. You keep an eye on this boy, alright? We need more people like him in our ranks. STRONG BAD: Don't you worry, Dusty. He's in good boxing gloves. {The two men part ways, leaving the future of ZZ Ray/Cody Rhodes and AWMPSCE up in the air.} STRONG SAD: {narrating} And so, with the help of his colorful manager Dusty Rhodes, Cody Rhodes began his journey through the ranks of AWMPSCE under the alias of ZZ Ray. His unique moveset and personality quickly made him a fan favorite, leading him to a legendary career filled with memorable moments. All thanks to a chance encounter with a mysterious man named Strong Bad. The world of pro wrestling had a fresh face, and it would never be the same. The saga continues... STRONG BAD: You done, Blustery Brown? STRONG SAD: {narrating} Uh... yeah. {Fade to black with a silhouette of ZZ Ray standing in the ring, ready to fight.}

Backstage shenanigans... Starring: {Strong Bad walks into the office, while the camera zooms out from the television screen. On the desk in front of him sits a clipboard and several sheets of paper.} STRONG BAD: So, here's the dealio... I'm gonna go ahead and get started with the booking. You guys all know who's the supreme dictator 'round here. Now, remember, if you need me, you know where to find me! {he points to himself, then to the TV screen showing the locker rooms} I'll be watching. EDITED VIDEO GREG: {angry} Listen here, Strong Bad! This isn't how it's supposed to work! I worked my boat take off for this company, and now you treat me like this? No way! I quit! STRONG BAD: {surprised} What?! But I just hired you! {the door slams shut as Edit leaves the building} Oh well, can't win 'em all. Well, who's next on the roster? {The Poopsmith enters the room} STRONG BAD: Yeah, what is it, boss man? {The Poopsmith seems nervous and hiding something behind his back} STRONG BAD: Spit it out already! {as The Poopsmith hesitates} Is it that you're not really The Poopsmith and you're actually Marzipan girlbossing her way into a position of power? {The Poopsmith shows Strong Bad EDITED Video Greg's paycheck that he pocketed} STRONG BAD: {shocked} WHAT?! The Poopsmith stealing paychecks?! I gotta say, that's pretty low, even for a whatsit monger! {brief pause} Count me in! Let's split these checks 60/40 in my favor! {The Poopsmith folds his arms and glares} STRONG BAD: Well, I suppose that's your prerogative, Poop. Just make sure I find out about any more shady business dealings. I can't have my bad reputation ruined by getting left out! {The Poopsmith nods in agreement and exits the office.} STRONG BAD: That was a lot of laughs. But now I have other concerns - finding someone to play ZZ Ray! {He picks up the phone and dials a number, looking quite determined as he waits for the ring.} STRONG BAD: Hello? Yes, Dusty? You might want to sit down for this... We've got an opportunity for your little boy to become the newest superstar-- I mean vaguely recognizable upstart in All-World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment! {Fade to black as the sound of dial tone fades away.}

Chron1992, and Belt Battle is being forced to reapply for their broadcasting deal every single day.

AWMPSCE Empty High School Gymnasium Show {Homsar is wearing his usual clothes but with a greenish-yellow bow tie. The announcer looks confused.} ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, please put your hands together for the one and only... Homsar! HOMSAR: WiIiIiIine, cheese, and toiletries! THE ANNOUNCER: Thank you, thank you very much! Now, without further ado, let's hear it for our newest wrestleman, straight from the Unknown Side of the Parts... ZZ RAY! {Strong Bad stage whispers in his ear} THE ANNOUNCER: Ahem. We may or may not see ZZ Ray today. But if we hear any word, rest assured we will keep you informed! In the meantime, let's get ready for our first match! {The Union Jackhammers are already inside the ring, looking menacing as ever.} The Union Jackhammers (Larry "Lad" Palaronstershire & Stanktrooper) (w/ Mr. Cheatayama) vs. Kaiser Von Fettblütig & EDITED Video Greg VS LARRY PALARONSTERSHIRE: We're gonna make it to the NCA's Most Wanted list! EDITED VIDEO GREG: We're past perfection; you're simply...! What was the line? For one night only, championship gold would be up for grabs, in any shape or form The Big Cheese could dig up! Larry "Lad" Palaronstershire and Stanktrooper had their eyes on the infamous Kids Meal Crown, a replica of King Jerry III's noggin. They argued over who deserved to carry it when they win, until Larry suggested they tag team it in a Titanic style embrace. Their opponents, the heavyweight Kaiser Von Fettblütig and video genius EDITED Video Greg, weren't about to let this prize slip through their fingers either. The match started off quite sloppy as the two teams rock'n'rolled all around the ring. Somehow everyone survived without so much as a bruise, until Lad nailed a stunning "Full Metal Whipping" bullwhip lariat. He then hooked Kaiser with a big elbow drop that left him feeling the pain! Greg tried to capitalize on the chaos, but found himself double-teamed by the British hooligans. The Union Jackhammers employed a jerky movement known only to them as The Stankermaker which finally put Greg down for three. The unpredictable folks at AWMPSCE now had themselves new owners of the illustrious Kids Meal Crown, for what it's worth. Winners: The Union Jackhammers (Rating: 22) **CRAP OF THE NIGHT** {We're backstage. Magnificent Marzipan is wearing a pink and purple cape, Haysi Fantayzee has her trademark bowler hat on and Axe-Gun is flexing his muscles in the background} THE ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here with Magnificent Marzipan, Haysi Fantayzee, and Axe-Gun. We have some breaking news about The Big Cheese making a big exclusive signing of Booker Z's brother, ZZ Ray. MARZIPAN: Well, I haven't seen any new faces around here lately. It's quite perplexing. HAYSI FANTAYZEE: Yeah, me neither! But you know what they say, sometimes the best kept secrets are right under your blank spot where a nose should be. {winks} AXE GUN: {grunt} I SMELL A RAT! {points to his nose and then makes a sneaky motion with his fingers} MARZIPAN: Thanks for that, Axe-Gun. Anyway, folks, we'll keep our eyes peeled for any clues about this mysterious ZZ Ray character. In the meantime, let's enjoy the show! THE ANNOUNCER: Splendid! Do you have anything to say to your opponents, The Skullsters and Senor Cardgage? MARZIPAN: We've got our sights set on the Combo Meal titles, and no one is going to stop us! HAYSI FANTAYZEE: Not even a couple of skulls and a weird old man who lives in a tiny bush! AXE GUN: DAH! Magnificent Marzipan, Axe-Gun & Haysi Fantayzee vs. The Skullsters (Crack Stuntman With Edgy Mask & Rocoulm) & Senor Cardgage VS SENOR CARDGAGE: Whatta we do with these Armenians, Jessicelda? AXE-GUN: THEY NEED A BRAIN TRANSPLANT! A small boombox played a fiery fandango as the heels rolled out looking to reclaim some pride. Opposing them were the goth brawlers known only as The Skullsters. The team had Senor Cardgage, a half-lunatic elderly man, and a pair of skullduggers named Crack Stuntman with Edgy Mask, and Rocoulm. The bell sounded and one dollar store firework filled the air, before all six wrestlers sprinted across the ring, seemingly in every direction simultaneously. The ensuing confusion resulted in several near falls: a kick to the head into a spinning loose noodle punch by Haysi onto Stuntman; and a Canadian kneeplant by Marzipan. The madness continued until Stuntman flipped Marzipan upside down out of midair, causing her to land backwards and split her hairsprayed wig like an avocado. The Skullsters swooped in for the cover, 1... 2... but Axe-Gun face planted right on to their pin, breaking it up. That proved too much for Senor Cardgage who seemed angry, or maybe just confused where he is. The contretemps ended with Haysi hitting the Mighty Lemon Drop on Stuntman for the victory. What's the prize? I have no idea. Winners: Magnificent Marzipan, Axe-Gun & Haysi Fantayzee (Rating: 31) The Greatest American Bubs vs. The Goblin VS BUBS: Zighoni, you've been a great coach, now watch me show you how a real American does it... in top hats! Bubs stood tall like the Statue of Liberty in fighting spirit and Uncle Sam hat. But as cool as Bubs was, the Goblin's sly tactics served him well under the lights. The crowd booed at every swerve and cheap shot dished out by the slimy Goblin. Bubs absorbed all of them while keeping his composure, despite being tossed into, over and around the ring like a sack of wet towels. In one flurry, the Greatest American Bubs leaped and came down on the Goblin's face, sending the Goblin zooming away to the wilderness where great apes roam free. And that leaves us with a squash victory for Bubs! Winner: The Greatest American Bubs (Rating: 28) {A huge cheer echoes through the empty high school gymnasium.} BUBS: Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the moment you've all been waiting for! Introducing, ZZ Ray! He's so elusive that he's totally behind that refrigerator box over there! {A spotlight shines down onto a corner of the room where we can now see the outline of someone hiding behind a refrigerator box. The figure speaks, and it's clearly Strong Bad trying to disguise his voice.} ZZ RAY: {faux deep voice} Hear me roar like a lion, but don't forget the tuna, because I am ZZ Ray! {The King of Town boos, and ZZ Ray quickly retreats behind the refrigerator box again, leaving everyone wondering what just happened.} THE ANNOUNCER: Well, there you have it, folks. ZZ Ray has spoken! And now, it's time for a one-two main event punch! Booker Z faces The Jack'em Up Kid for the #1 condescendership, and... CHAMPION VS. CHAMPION! Stay tuned for the explosive conclusion of this week's All-World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment! HOMSAR: And may all Flygons be my mons! THE ANNOUNCER: I am sincerely non-annoyed having you as a partner! {Fade to black with a fade-in of the AWMPSCE logo.} The Jack'em Up Kid (w/Gary the Legend) vs. Booker Z VS BOOKER Z: Come on! Show me dat hustle! JACK’EM UP KID: Hoo yeah! This is your moment and the Jackemites will tell their twice cousins that you witnessed the power of my commotion! The Jack’em Up Kid flexed around Booker Z, speaking to a camera he brought along. When the match kicked off, Booker sprung into action with a shoulder block. Despite minding the gap, Jack'em Up Kid floored him with a snap body slam. It would have been a surefire knockout had Gary the Legend not broken up the pin attempt. Discarding any respect for the referee, Booker began employing muddy tactics unlike anything seen before in wrestling (assuming you have never watched a wrestling match before). But then even more shockwaves-- Booker bumped the ref with a metal platter right to the face, then proceeded to give Jack'Em Up Kid a real sweat-down by locking his face into a bearhug stunner. Everything has its limit though, and Booker slipped for just a second, allowing Jack'Em Up Kid a bionic bodyslam followed by the Jacked Up Leglock. In retaliation, Booker hit a strike from behind with cooking utensils, sending the ref sky high! The wild card Gary the Legend ran out to trip Booker on the floor, just as Booker picked up the metal pot for more kitchen abuse. While outside, Booker jumped to the mat for a springboard, only to step on a discarded ketchup packet, wiping out hard. With Booker dazed, Kid took advantage and unleashed a new finisher atop a stack of what looked like stackable fish bowls. The Announcer names it the Jack-tacular Bomb! The Kid swung through the night sky, snuffing his opponent's light. Winner: The Jack'em Up Kid (Rating: 31) Champion vs. Champion: Sir Boliver Turnbuckle (w/Mr. Cheatayama) vs. Gary the Legend VS SIR BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: Now, I shall fancy a rollicking good duel, Cheatayama! MR CHEATAYAMA: {agreeing The Cheat noises} Sir Boliver bounded into the ring with the glee of a lark, waving around Britain's finest flag. Meanwhile, the imaginary swagger from Gary the Legend mellowed the once sour air. The referee sounded the bell for Gary to start the match. Boliver danced past, only for Gary to drop an elbow off the turnbuckle. Boliver was ready for this but still stumbled back before landing a sunshine punch. Both champions locked up, but Sir Boliver weaved into an uppercut. Each side kept up the stiff chain wrestling; but Gary charged back too early and Boliver nailed a jawbreaker. Boliver, as royalty desires, found time to waste. He pointed towards Mr. Cheatayama, who obliged with a Champagne Ones spray. Behind the ref's back, Boliver landed punches glazed with bubbles, which left Gary seeing stars. Not helping Gary's case, Mr. Cheatayama fiddled with his bowler hat's brim and gave him a brutal bop to the head. The jinxed celebrity was falling victim to Boliver's trickery. In grand fashion, Boliver grinned, and danced circles around an on-the-ropes Gary. Before long, Gary slashed back with an atomic elbow... or kick, or headbutt, we can't tell! Just as the ref called two, Sir Boliver wriggled free. Gary went for a running strike only to collide with Cheatayama's cane. As the ref argued with the dirty manager, a recovered Boliver pulled out the trademark whisk and slammed it into Gary's throat! Sir Boliver got the pin and accepted the boos from the hot crowd as the show came to a close. Winner: Sir Boliver Turnbuckle (Rating: 35) **MATCH OF THE NIGHT** Event rating: 34

Interactive Time Ye art in DA BASEMENT watching some serious UNDAGROUND FANCAMS. Ye needeth a ZZ Ray, and ye needeth him YESTERMORROW! Yon SHORTLIST of workers tempteth with promises of new servants--I mean loyal FOLLOWERS. What wouldst thou deau? >look shortlist Ye roster be wanting of moderately famed ATHLETITORS. Yon KAISER haveth no one to challenge! In other words, ya need to fill out the midcard, Jack, it's a total squash show here. Chooseth one of these options seven: "DEATHPROOF" AARON EPIC BRIAN LOGAN CODY RHODES ERICK STEVENS MIKE DIBIASE "BABU" PABLO MARQUEZ SEVEN What wouldst thou deau? >

January 2008 week 3-4 weekend Quick weekend update while I have the opportunity. On this week's WWE Raw: Segment with Shane McMahon and Torrie Wilson. Not much to say here, but in case you care, she turned on him and sided with 3 Minute Warning instead; the same thing happened on Heat with Candice Michelle turning on her client, Jamie Noble. AJ Styles vs. Adam O'Brien. AJ picked up another easy win this week leaving fans wondering when the Phenomenal One will get his rematch for the Intercontinental Title. With Christian still out on injury, I guess it might happen soon. NOAH wrapped up its First Navigation tour this week with some exciting technical matches: (Day 😎 Naomichi Marufuji & Katsuhiko Nakajima vs. Burning (KENTA & Shiozaki). While KENTA looked noticeably more agile since his hip problems, everything else proceeded as usual, with Go Shiozaki performing his own moonsault attempt - only to miss and land face first onto the mat. But everyone had recovered enough by the end to continue into a great finish that saw Marufuji pin Shiozaki with a Ko-Oh. And that was followed by The First Navigation pay-per-view: Title match: Yoshinobu Kanemaru (c) vs. Naomichi Marufuji for the GHC Junior Heavyweight title. Marufuji finally got his rematch tonight, after almost over a year since their last encounter in a NOAH ring. And what an epic battle it was! Both men fought back and forth for 30 minutes, with Kanemaru focusing on Marufuji's ribs and Marufuji targeting Kanemaru's knees. In the ultimate clash, however, Kanemaru was able to get the pin with an unexpected Deep Impact, cementing his reign as the Junior King once again! Onto the rest of the weekend's events, and first we are looking at the latest CMLL Super Viernes: Los Sicarios Del Ring (Averno & Mephisto) vs. La Allianza (Sangre Azteca & Ramstein). Team Averno controlled most of the bout, methodically taking down each opponent before pummeling them in turn; but near the end, one too many shots by Mephisto gave Rammy the chance to mount a comeback, clearing the ring. Unfortunately his momentum didn't last long as he was immediately caught in the Demon Driller, losing the match for his team; interestingly enough, this marks the second straight loss for both members now. Pro Wrestling Guerrilla held their ¡Dia De Los Dangerous! event: Title match: Christopher Daniels (c) vs. Claudio Castagnoli vs. Human Tornado vs. B-Boy for the PWG World title. This match started out like any other typical four-way encounter one might expect, with everyone jumping into and on it from a dozen different angles. After several minutes locked up over who should take control next, Chris Daniels managed to secure victory with his Best Moonsault Ever - making sure that once more people took notice how dangerous he really is. ZERO1-MAX began their Solidarity tour with a bang: Hiroshi Tanahashi & Naomichi Marufuji vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima & Toshiaki Kawada. What can be said about this match? It was probably the hardest hitting contest of the weekend, featuring fierce battles all around. At one point in the feud, Kawada had Marufuji locked in an ankle lock - until STERNNESS veteran Yoshinobu Kanemaru came to his rescue, forcing Dangerous K to surrender the hold. Despite the interference, Marufuji managed to pin Kawada afterwards with a rollup just when Kawada was preparing for the Ganso bomb. Nice try, but no cigar! Azumi Hyuga vs. Yoshiko Tamura. Anyone familiar with the women's division during the late 90's and early 2000's knows what to expect: A combination of speed and power unseen anywhere else in professional wrestling. In the end though, it was Azumi Hyuga who picked apart her opponent, taking full advantage of every opportunity to win with an exciting backcracker suplex. FANTASTIC! In other wrestling news: Jackie Gayda is the newest TNA Knock-Outs champion, defeating Traci via submission. Junji Izumida received a sports hernia injury during NOAH's First Navigation pay-per-view, but he plans to wrestle through it. Ozark TV is going to be broadcasting OZ Academy shows sometime in the near future. In IWA Puerto Rico, Brent Dail won the IWA Junior Heavyweight title in a grueling triple threat against Diabólico and Abbad. Also in IWA, D'Lo Brown will be returning to take part in their upcoming event; not much else has been revealed about this match just yet though...But as soon as we know more about this situation...you bet your bottom dollar that YOU will find out from us first! Last news item from IWA: The Weedman reportedly quit after losing to Huracán Castillo Jr., citing creative differences among some behinds in IWA PR's office; however sources close to me indicate there might have been more at play than meets the eye... In a spicy shoot interview, Super Dragon got fed up with being called second best and challenged anybody (in or out) of PWG to four separate gimmick matches next month. In the locker room... Starring: {After the show ends, Strong Bad storms into the locker room, furious at Coach Z.} STRONG BAD: I can't believe you promised a new wrestler when I haven't even hired one yet! What the crap is wrong with you?! COACH Z: Oh, Strong Bad, clam down! It's not like one a' my secret fake names or anything. Booker Z just found out he has a secret brother named ZZ Ray! STRONG BAD: A secret brother? Are you sure this isn't another one of your ridicamamie schemes? COACH Z: No, I swear! He's for reals. We should go meet him after showerin' up. STRONG BAD: Fine, but if this turns out to be a prank, you're lunch meat to me. {Coach Z nods, knowing he's in trouble.} THE ANNOUNCER: Well folks, it looks like we may have some drama brewing backstage! Stay tuned as Strong Bad and Coach Z head towards the locker room to confront whoever this new wrestler is! STRONG BAD: Don't you ever turn off? {As Strong Bad walks past Homestar Runner, Marzipan, and Pom Pom, he stops abruptly.} STRONG BAD: Hold on a sec... Marzipan, have you seen any new wrestlers around here lately? MARZIPAN: Uh, no Strong Bad... Why do you ask? STRONG BAD: Just checking. {walks away} {Strong Bad meets up with Coach Z in the locker room.} STRONG BAD: So what's this about having a new wrestler? Am I gonna have to get my Diaper School wipes and clean up your mess again? COACH Z: Ooar, well... you can get a guy, right? Wrap him up in a big ol' Z medallion? STRONG BAD: The next show is in 3 days! Where am I supposed to find someone that fast?! COACH Z: I don't know, but ZZ Ray is waiting for us! Come on, let's get to it!

AWMPSCE Road to Rasslegeddon {Homsar grins at the camera and his hat flies up.} HOMSAR: Heeeey Pelswick! Area man here! And with me tonight is a half-plate of beetroot souffle! THE ANNOUNCER: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! We've got a great show lined up for you tonight. But first, let's check in with our ringside correspondent, Booker Z, who has been digging through some old dusty boxes and found something rather interesting! {Booker Z stands in front of a pile of boxes, holding up an old newspaper with the headline reading "BREAKING NEWS: Booker Z's Secret Brother Revealed!"} BOOKER Z: Whoa! Check this out, guys! Looks like my secret sorcret brother, ZZ Ray, is making a sharcking return to da wrestling world! Can't wait ta catch up with him backstage later on! {The screen transitions to show Axe-Gun in the ring, facing off against Gary the Legend.} THE ANNOUNCER: In other news, we have a special match coming up between Axe-Gun and Gary the Legend. These two have had quite the rivalry going on for several minutes, and it looks like they're finally getting their wish as they step into the ring together! {Backstage, Magnificent Marzipan approaches Booker Z with a smirk on her face.} MAGNIFICENT MARZIPAN: Hey Booker Z, I heard you found something interesting in those boxes. Mind sharing what it was all about? BOOKER Z: Oh, hey Marzipan! Yeah, I found out that I have a secret brother name a' ZZ Ray. Apparently he used to be a rassler too! Gonna talk to him after the show. MAGNIFICENT MARZIPAN: Wow, that's crazy! You know, if you need any help breaking the ice or anything, just let me know. I'm pretty good at talking to people, especially when it comes to family stuff. BOOKER Z: Uh, thanks Marzipan. I think I'll be okay though. I mean, it's not like I don't know how to handle my own dysfunctional fambly or anything... {Marzipan smirks and walks away, while Booker Z looks uncomfortable.} THE ANNOUNCER: Back to our opening event now! It's sure to be an explosive match, so stay tuned! Gary the Legend vs. Axe-Gun VS AXE-GUN: PREPARE TO FACE A REALLY STRONG GUY! BWAAAAAR! The match was average, to say the least. Axe-gun appeared to commit multiple infractions against ICWA's Code of Ethics almost from the jump, chopping and elbowing at thin air relentlessly without waiting for any real response. Gary the Legend sold the offense early and often - or at least we assume he did - beyond anything we could've expected from him before. But this ended up showcasing more of Axe-Gun's power as our mysterious half-man, half-axe prefaced his finish with a wrenching bearhug that nearly sobered Gary up from his stupor. Just when it seemed Axe-Gun might steal the win, out of nowhere, something started spinning Axe-Gun like a wildlife tornado; or maybe he just spun himself around for fun, I wouldn't put it past him. Even the odd couple of announcers were lateralized by the chaotic surprise! This gave Gary enough of an opening to make quick work of his opponent, notching a remarkable comeback victory! Winner: Gary the Legend (Rating: 31) The Greatest American Bubs & EDITED Video Greg vs. The Goblin & Haysi Fantayzee VS THE GREAT AMERICAN BUBS: Will somebody please tell them to lower that death metal crap coming out the speakers? It hurts my delicate moustache. {sniff} HAYSI FANTAYZEE: Well, at least watch yourself there! I'm... going... Hyperactive, and the night is young!! This match proved quite the spectacle yet again for Team Fun Time Kickin' Squad - or at least that's what Homsar called them. Meanwhile, let's give credit where it's due. The two Americans had some tricks up their sleeves too. After connecting with a series of uncoordinated lariats which failed to move those two dancers one bit, our wild teams tried to turn up the hostility level here and set off chaos throughout the arena. But wait, Great American Bubs was capable of timing an important direct hit on Haysi Fantazee. With a flurry of kicks and punches cutting through Haysi's sweater protection like a knife through butter, he left an involuntary giggling mess sprawled out all over. While hilarity ensued from all around, they were able to connect simultaneously their most spectacular Double Deuce to end up once again victorious -- not so surprisingly afterwards, in slow motion replay, made us appreciate both teams' ability to keep on improvising against each other, even when things didn't go according to plan. Unfortunately, they were outshined by the match that followed. Winners: The Greatest American Bubs & EDITED Video Greg (Rating: 25) **CRAP OF THE NIGHT** {Bubs stands in the ring, holding the microphone} THE GREATEST AMERICAN BUBS: Ladies and patriots, we are THE GREATEST AMERICAN TEAM IN AMERICA! {crowd cheers} And we are here to challenge ANY team in this organization! Bring us your best, because we won't back down! EDITED VIDEO GREG: That's right, America! We're ready for whatever comes our way! So bring on The Union Jackhammers! Let's see if they can handle the might of Bubs and Greg! {The screen transitions to show The Union Jackhammers walking towards the ring, looking confident.} THE ANNOUNCER: Well folks, it seems like we have a major showdown coming up between The Greatest American Team and The Union Jackhammers! Who do you think will come out on top? Sound off in the Wiki's forum thread! {Bubs and Greg are ambushed by Larry "Lad" Palaronstershire and Mr. Shmallow, who beat them senseless with cricket bats.} THE ANNOUNCER: Never mind, folks! It seems we have a cowardly beatdown on our hands! The Union Jackhammers are taking out their opponents before they even get a chance to fight! What a disgrace... HOMSAR: AaAaA'hm a greenish yellow planeswalker! THE ANNOUNCER: Now who will face these British hooligans inside the ring? The Union Jackhammers (Sir Boliver Turnbuckle, Stanktrooper, Larry "Lad" Palaronstershire & Mr. Shmallow) (w/ Mr. Cheatayama) vs. Kaiser Von Fettblütig, Senor Cardgage & The Skullsters (Crack Stuntman With Edgy Mask & Rocoulm) VS SIR BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: I wonder how many British flags my team can cheat with... this should be interesting! {evil laugh} CRACK STUNTMAN: {on his phone} Big whales? Seriously, baby, let's wait 'til after my match. This eight-man event delivered a thrilling fare-thee-well. All teams involved put their A-game on display -- especially when it came to cheating; that's what fighting dirty means, right? To tell you the truth, we almost lost track of who was on whose side due to all the interference! And to think - a mere six men would've been tame compared to this chaos. But, of course, like clockwork, Sir Boliver attempted to hog the spotlight and claim victory just for himself, only to be thwarted at every turn. Then, things took a deadly serious tone as The Skullsters revealed themselves to be the fearsome tag team that no one saw coming. They started throwing elbows without hesitation, sending their opponents flying in multiple directions. It wasn't long after that Rocoulm dialed things back down to absurdity by blasting everyone with his Come On In Heeere, leaving the crowd jibblied. Unfortunately for Team Kaiser, they couldn't recover from such a bone-chilling spectacle. Sir Boliver Turnbuckle put the finishing touches on a chaotic battle with a combination spinning heel kick and 1/8th Nelson hold... luckily receiving Drive-Thru Whale's timely bell call to seal the deal. The crowd went absolutely berserk, erupting with boos and thrown Cold Ones! Winners: The Union Jackhammers (Rating: 30) Gardenboy & The Jack 'em Up Kid vs. Magnificent Marzipan & Booker Z VS THE JACK 'EM UP KID: Time to show these rookies what real Jackemites can do! BOOKER Z: Trust me, son, you can't just rush inta the score zone. Give us a chance! This matchup saw two superstar teams going head-to-head. Gardenboy and The Jack 'em Up Kid were determined to showcase the tremendous athleticism that made them Not Complete Screwups. On the flipside, you had the tag team chemistry and experience of Magnificent Marzipan and her bandana'd partner Booker Z. However, tonight was not the night for the 2-time restraining order holder, as Booker Z fell victim to one of Gardenboy's signature moves; the Thursday Morning Weed Eater. He kicked out at 2 and crawled to his corner. Marzipan received an insanely quick DDT as she joined the action. But she managed to tuck her knees strategically. While Gardenboy connected with a few kicks, followed by allowing The Jack 'em Up Kid some tag action, it was all too familiar to their opponents who were intent on taking the win. Together they attempted an irish whip combo only for Booker Z to swing at nothing! With the crowd screaming madly for more of whatever this mix of wrestling and gardening is called, one final exchange ended with Marzipan attempting to hit a warning shot off the forehand, but getting naught but a sweet backhand by Gardenboy. 1, 2, and 3! The match was over and there was much rejoicing from the Jackemites and Jackemettes. Sort of. Winners: Gardenboy & The Jack 'em Up Kid (Rating: 48) **MATCH OF THE NIGHT**

'Nother offsite vote for CARDGAGE

Interactive time Ye and yon CHEAT gather in ye BOOKING OFFICE. Ye hath hatched a nefarious scheme to maketh conquest of fair AWMPSCE. Gather ye party of UNION JACKHAMMERS, Dungeonman, and ruleth with an IRON FLASK! What wouldst thou deau? >choose first victim Good conquerors need good CANNON FODDER to chicken-wing suplex through yon PARAPETS. Malevolence abounds! Ye throw thou head back and chortle as ye contemplate who to violence-make first! Chooseth one of these options three: BUBS AND VIDEO GREG CARDGAGE, FETTBLUTIG, THE SKULLSTERS JACK 'EM UP, FETTBLUTIG, THE SKULLSTERS What wouldst thou deau?

January 2008 week 3 (1st half) WWE is back on track this week with big main events. Raw came live from Classic Park: Interview with Paul Heyman. Chainsaw_twins from the forum takes special interest in this one... He gets asked about AJ Styles' future in the company following the storyline between Styles and Jacobs at New Years' Revolution. However, HHH appears later and he seems amused by Heyman's behavior throughout the interview segment. AJ Styles & William Regal vs. Chavo Guerrero & Jimmy Jacobs. One hour before RAW began airing, rumors swirled through the Wrestlezone regarding a possible Team AJ VS. Team JJ match. Chavo Guerrero and Jimmy Jacobs retain their victories after an exciting finish when a chairshot took out Regal, allowing Chavo to hit the Gory Bomb. Afterward, AJ was furious about this turn of events but HHH calmed him down, telling him that 'two men will not defeat three'. And from Barton Coliseum, Smackdown was aired: Segment with Rey Mysterio and Hulk Hogan. A brawl breaks out backstage where two Superstars go toe-to-toe. A hyped up Hulk slaps "The Biggest Little Man" and eventually manages to lay out Mysterio via The Big Leg onto a steel folding chair. The internet community has noticed increased activity in WWE Creative over last several weeks - it appears they've been working very actively on enhancing their product. Kurt Angle vs. John Cena vs. Bradshaw. Angle was not at the show (due to an in-kayfabe suspension from Vince), leaving Cena and Bradshaw to face off in an intense match that is filled with lots of reversals. Eventually, the big Texan gets disqualified. Title match: Edge (c) vs. Marcus Cor Von for the WWE World Heavyweight title in a Steel Cage match. After a furious battle between both Superstars, Cor Von's momentum slows down when he is caught by Booker T, who interferes to save a brother. It ends after another spear by Edge that puts the challenger out for the three count, to retain the title. Following this event, a frustrated Cor Von attacks Booker and kicks him out of the ring in front of millions watching on their screens at home. Ring Of Honor Wrestling entertained us another week: Lacey's Angels (McGuinness & Whitmer) vs. Claudio Castagnoli & Low-Ki. The fans were happy to see a huge reuniting as Low-Ki teamed up once again with Claudio Castagnoli, although some still miss his Japanese work. But despite fan wishes coming true, their joy was short-lived... Lacey's Angels come out victorious after another impressive display by the veterans, who're still in top form under Lacey's management. Title match: Brian Danielson (c) vs. Matt Sydal for the ROH World title. Their banners are now raised high over Wolf Ridge for one of the most talked-about matches on last night's show, as the two young stars faced off inside the ring. As Danielson went full steam at the babyface Sydal, he charged with a big dropkick, and the high flyer struggled back up to get a kick before being struck with a wrist-clutch and hard stomps by The American Dragon, capturing the belt, while the fans in attendance chanted their names and sent them both into orbit. NOAH's First Navigation tour continues: (Day 5) Minoru Suzuki & Katsuhiko Nakajima vs. STERNNESS (Kanemaru & Hashi). Minoru Suzuki, with his partner Katsuhiko Nakajima, battled against Yoshinobu Kanemaru and Makoto Hashi in a fast paced affair, but no one could steal the spotlight from these four incredible talents as they put on an amazing match for the ages! In the end though, one missed 450 by Kanemaru spelled the beginning of the end, as Minoru capitalized on the opening to pinfall STERNNESS. (Day 6) Title match: Minoru Suzuki (c) vs. Kensuke Sasaki for the GHC Heavyweight title. After a barrage of lariat attempts were unsuccessful, Sasaki managed to dropkick the defending champ out, only to wander right back inside so the Wrestling King can return the favor. This pattern continued throughout the entire bout until The King finally landed the Gotch Piledriver! With Momota and Sugaya watching at ringside, the former NJPW legend picked up the giant win and retains the title. We'll also look at Japan's breakout success, OZ Academy: Azumi Hyuga, Misae Genki & Kayoko Haruyama vs. Nanae Takahashi & The Maniacs (Hotta & Hikaru). The 'Maniac Sisters', Yumiko Hotta & Hikaru tagged with Nanae Takahashi against Azumi Hyuga, Misae Genki, & Kayoko Haruyama - resulting in yet another high energy spectacular. Despite their energy, Hyuga eventually rolled up Nanae following a miscue to take the victory! In other wrestling news: TNA's Dixie Carter has confirmed a new broadcasting deal with TVN Entertainment, replacing their previous PPV deal with DirectTV. Also in TNA, 3Live Kru are calling it splits and going solo, after a backstage fight between the gang over who's getting more screen time than whom. Takashi Sugiura has been injured during his match with BURNING following a missed running knee strike. Don Fujii also recieved an injury after challenging Final M2K to a faction war, just in time to be out of the coming Dragon Gate Primal Gate event as well. The next big AAA storyline continues unfolding as Shocker appears to have a kayfabe leg injury after his last match against Octagón, possibly costing the promotion another championship event in doing so. While it's still undetermined whether or not there was foul play, rumors are starting to circulate that this could be more than just an accidental mistake - but rather potentially... Angel has confirmed that he's taking on a new management team, most likely related to his rumored IWA appearance. Toryumon will be losing referee Terror Chino from their roster after he failed a substance abuse test, ending in his firing. Also from Toryumon, Silver King & Amigo Suzuki finally were victorious over Jorge Rivera & Hajime Ohara in their second match together, while also winning the Último Dragón Tag Team titles. The ICW/ICWA Tex-Arkana television title changed hands again as T. Rantula defeated Dean Radford to claim the belt. Slyck Wagner Brown & Eric Xtasy have just won the 2CW Tag Team Titles. At Strong Bad's house... Starring: {Strong Bad and Strong Sad are sitting in their living room, each on a couch facing the other.} STRONG SAD: So have you thought of any new storylines for AWMPSCE yet? STRONG BAD: Geez, can't you see I'm busy here? {fanning himself with a leather magazine} Man...if only there was some sort of way to cool off my sweaty abs. Besides jumping in the freaking obvious snow outside. STRONG SAD: That does sound nice right about now. But come on, Strong Bad! You promised we would be doing more stuff together this year. Maybe work out some ideas while we wait for Homsar's Whaddaya Know Haddi-Man movie to wrap up filming so he can get back to being our color commentator again. STRONG BAD: Sheesh, don't rush me! {pauses} Hmm...I think I gotta get my tonsils checked or something. {snapping his glove} Hey, Strong Sad! You know what would make this sweaty sit-and-look-macho time go by faster? If you started writing up some ideas for storylines right now! STRONG SAD: What? But why can't YOU come up with them like usual!? It was your sbemail that started the promotion in the first place! STRONG BAD: Because, Strong Sad. That is exactly WHY I should not be doing it. Look at me; I am a busy man. {Strong Bad flexes and makes a muscle} I don't have time to worry about all that pre-booking, worker momentum mumbo-jumbo when I've got biceps to massage and leather jacket magazines to peruse. Besides, maybe if I leave things open enough, we could invite real-life free agents to show up and just see what the crap happens. STRONG SAD: You mean like "Guess Who's Showing Up at the Arena This Week"? That sounds dangerous, Strong Bad! We might end up having a big scuffle on our hands if we don't know who will be showing up for an event! Plus, what are you even gonna do in the meantime while you wait around for all these mysterious guests? It's not like there have been any other developments going on with the characters since 2004...{gasps} Wait a minute; that gives me an idea! What if we got some new character to come into town or something!? Maybe someone related to Coach Z that could stir things up inside the promotion once he finds out about it!? Or maybe-- STRONG BAD: {interrupting} Ughhhh, no way. Look how many times Homestar has ruined things to shreds for us! No, I think I want to try my hand at some more original content this year. Maybe write a full length scandal-packed dirt sheet or something. STRONG SAD: Really? You would actually attempt that? That's amazing! When do you plan on starting? STRONG BAD: Oh, uh...let's see here...how long does it take to type one word? About thirty seconds? STRONG SAD: So you would say you're planning on starting...about four months from now then? STRONG BAD: Uh...yeah. Yeah, I guess so. STRONG SAD: {looking crushed} But Strong Bad! You promised me we would write together! STRONG BAD: Aw, calm down, Strong Sad. Don't you worry your disturbing skin flap over it. It'll all work out in the end. I'm sure I could probably use your help at some point, even if it is just for looking up how to spell "deleted". {Strong Sad exits, moping. Strong Bad remains seated on his couch, flexing in a mirror and admiring himself} STRONG BAD: {to himself} Man, I hope he doesn't expect me to actually start writing any of this crap any time soon...{laughs evilly} This is gonna be the easiest promotion run EVER! {fade out}

January 2008 week 2 It is a bit of a slow day in WWE for a change. On Monday Night Raw: Backstage interview with Batista. He talks about how he'll be tagging with Randy Orton again and puts himself over as having the most badawesome move in wrestling (the Batista Bomb). Smackdown came to Huntington this week: Title match: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Shawn Daivari & Jay Lethal for the WWE Tag Team titles. At first things look dire for the champions, especially when Shawn Daivari manages to land some heavy blows on both of them. However, Rey Mysterio soon comes into his own, with a huge 619 kick to Daivari sending him flying before they retain the titles. John Cena & Kurt Angle vs. Edge & Booker T. An interesting story unfolds between John Cena and Edge during the match. Things start off well enough initially, but this breaks down quickly when Edge spits water at Cena out of seemingly nowhere, leading to a tense argument between the two men. Cena finishes up pinning Booker T while looking more than a little annoyed at Edge. New York's finest were in action on this week's episode of ROH Wrestling: Lacey's Angels (McGuinness & Whitmer) vs. Abyss & Jimmy Yang. Some clever tactics by Lacey's gang here as they prove skilled at targeting weak points such as knee joints. As usual though, it turns out that no matter who comes out to face Abyss he often has the last laugh. Here he delivers his blackhole slam to Whitmer to get the pin. We also saw the ROH Proving Grounds event, the first event of the year: Title match: Bryan Danielson (c) vs. Abyss in a Fight Without Honor match for the ROH World title. This is billed as an anything goes match and it proves to be brutal as both wrestlers pummel each other through table after table - both inside and outside the ring. During their battle, Ariel shows up at ringside to provide support to Abyss against Bryan Danielson - no one knows why, but many assume there must be some reasonable motive behind it! Eventually, it ends when Danielson launches a diving headbutt right into Abyss' nether realms. TNA is soldiering on despite hardship, releasing TNA Final Resolution without a US distributor: Chris Jericho vs. Shane Douglas. The much anticipated match sees Shane Douglas giving it his all early on while Jericho seems more interested in playing mind games. By the end of the bout, Jericho has proven once again that he's head and shoulders above most when it comes to self promotion and psychological warfare, pinning Shane Douglas with relative ease. Pro Wrestling NOAH has begun their season with the First Navigation tour: (Day 3) Title match: Naomichi Marufuji & KENTA (c) vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima & Kotaro Suzuki for the GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag Team titles. The NOAH faithful are treated to another high quality tag team clash, with both teams displaying awesome technique. At the climax, 'The Genius of the Ark' strikes swiftly, sealing the victory for Marufuji and KENTA. (Day 4) Title match: Naomichi Marufuji & KENTA (c) vs. Daisuke Ikeda & Atsushi Aoki for the GHC Junior Heavyweight Tag Team titles. Another excellent contest between these two sets of tag partners, with no quarter given or asked by either side. In the end, Marufuji and KENTA remain victorious again despite some valiant efforts by the challenging duo. The faction wars continue on OZ Academy: 3G (Ozaki & Sakura) vs. Onna No Ko Tachi No Ni (Amano & Mita) in a Hard Cerebral 2 on 2 match. This was an epic encounter in which both teams showed a lot of skill - both as tag teams as well as individuals. Some outstanding lock-based techniques were on show here as the teams put together a variety of complex double moves. However, as the match went on to go past its allocated time, the ref takes control and stops the action. Although there's no official decision, 3G must surely be happy they were able to stretch their opponents to the limit. In other wrestling news: NJPW have two new dojo graduates: Ryuji Nagasawa and Tetsuhiko Yamura announced their arrivals last week, both signed to developmental deals in DDT. WWE's next big feud has been building as Mark Henry prepares to face off against Kurt Angle at the Royal Rumble, with the #1 contendership on the line. CMLL saw a title change last night as Dámian 666 & Halloween won the CMLL World Tag Team titles from Los Hermanos Dinamita during a highly entertaining contest. Kronos will be leaving CMLL soon, apparently wanting to spend more time with his family rather than constantly traveling on tour. Good luck to him! Ring of Honor star Lacey has been trending worldwide on Facebook lately due to her smokin' images on social media - much to the delight (and possibly dissatisfaction) of fellow ROH roster members. A new tag team, consisting of Psycho Dr. Dare & Senzo Takeshita, made their debut this week in Pro Wrestling NOAH. Mana Salvia & Yasutoki Uno have graduated from NOAH Dojo to full-fledged wrestlers - great news for the duo and for NOAH as they add depth to their roster with these young talents. AJ Lee & Trisha have confirmed handshake deals in AAA last week, leading up to the next event there soon. Fans may have noticed that Katsuo is back to touring with Dragon Gate. This is him returning from injury; his comeback is well received! It was announced that broadcaster Lance Russell had passed away recently from lung cancer with family and peers around the globe mourning his passing. At Strong Bad's house... Starring: {Strong Bad has invited all of his friends over for a Trogdor-themed party. They're playing the Trogdor arcade cabinet together as they eat snacks and chat.} STRONG BAD: So, uh, Homestar, tell me again why they decided to make a video game based on my cartoon about an angry dragon? HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, Strong Bad, sometimes people just like to celebrate stuff they like or whatever they think is cool. It's kind of like how we're all here celebrating Trogday! STRONG BAD: Yeah, but this is different. This is a video game with my highly intellectual property on it and everything! That's something that normally would only happen to the CEO's twice-estranged zillionaire son or something. ROCOULM: Hey, be happy, Strong Bad! Look at all these people and not-quite-people gathered to enjoy your creation! Isn't that enough reward? THE CHEAT: {drinks from a can labeled "Trog Ones"} STRONG BAD: Fine, okay, fine, you're right. It's just weird to have something you made turn into a whole thing that bored twentysomethings talk about between sips of their mocha chocolata ya ya's. {pauses and thinks} Wait a second...there are still some things inside my head that haven't turned into anything yet. Like my idea for a cartoon about a group of penguins who solve locked-room murders. Or maybe a TV show about a bunch of country bumpkin fruitfolk who run a dead-end town police department. Hmm...maybe Videlectrix should make a game about them too! {Strong Bad laughs maniacally while jotting down ideas onto a piece of paper. The scene moves inside Strong Bad's bedroom, where Marzipan, The King of Town, and Coach Z are playing a homemade board game on Strong Bad's bed.} COACH Z: {rolling a die} Six?! Whoopee! KING OF TOWN: Six?! Six?! Who says six?! Me! It was me! I say six! MARZIPAN: Okay, so you get to collect $300 from each of us and then roll again. Wait, what is this game called anyway? COACH Z: It's called "Collect Money From Your Friends Until They All Leave Out Of Disgust." KING OF TOWN: "Collect Money From Your Friends Until They All Leave Out Of Disgust!" That's exactly what it should be called! {The scene cuts back downstairs where everyone continues enjoying their Trogdor celebration.} STRONG BAD: Hey, guys! Check out this idea I had for a new cartoon! {reads from his notepad} "Welcome to Roots' Reach, where the residents are totally BANANAS! Tonight's episode features a battle between two rival families: the Mintberries and the Plumtrees!" {The party guests stare at him} HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh, sounds cool, Strong Bad! When can we watch it? STRONG BAD: Oh, I dunno...sometime in the next few months after I write the script and kidnap--I mean hire someone to animate it. But it'll be great! Trust me! ROCOULM: Sounds like you've got yourself another hit on your hands, Strong Bad! THE CHEAT: {cheerfully pumping his fist and making The Cheat noises} {Everyone at the party cheers as the scene fades out with Strong Bad looking pleased with himself.}

2007: An organic Japanese company popped up with "classic wild west" product. I meddled with their roster quite a bit before letting the AI have it back. This is the first 'supercard' they made.

Got his namesake's psychology right out the dojo gates

They're creating the same bangers in my 2006-2008 but - in TNA instead. They outshine every other has-been on that roster by far except Abyss. How's your Abyss doing?

January 2008 week 1 WWE had a busy pay-per-view week. On Raw, live from Trustmark Park: William Regal & Eugene vs. Jimmy Jacobs & Jamie Noble. Eugene tapped out but the finish made it look like he submitted Jimmy. In retrospect, not a bad match; I hope JN continues to improve his work in WWE. Trish Stratus vs. Melina Pérez. Trish beat Melina in a hard-fought match. (I had heard Melina was on her way out but who knows). This was the best technical wrestling between these two, with very good selling by both divas. Title match: Chavo Guerrero (c) vs. Serial Thrilla Helms for the WWE Intercontinental title. On an earlier date, Chavo defeated Helms in a non-title match. Although I hoped for a more vicious back-and-forth, the majority of the referee's time was spent in order to control the fight instead of letting the two slug it out. The referees' intervention went from protecting Guerrero to handicapping him at just the right moment(s), which helped Helms. In the end, Guerrero somehow managed to get around Helms, run him down, and pin him. This is going to be a rematch later this year, if Chavo doesn't lose his title. On Smackdown, which comes to you from the Sovereign Center this week: Interview with World Heavyweight champion Edge. In sharp contrast to John Cena's interview, which could only be interpreted as prodding for answers he refused to give or outright lying about certain things, Edge accepted being questioned; that made my favorite part, since his demeanor during the whole show already implied that he wouldn't put up a fuss. The interviewer seemed genuine in wanting answers, and so did Edge! Kurt Angle, Marcus Cor Von & Shawn Daivari vs. Bradshaw, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch. They wrestled in a house show match earlier this year, which was a squash match that Angle probably needed for the World Heavyweight title match against Edge. To his credit though, he had enough energy to hold up on Smackdown too and get the pinfall... I guess he's still got some juice left! Title match: Edge (c) vs. John Cena vs. Mark Henry for the WWE World Heavyweight title. After the match, where Edge pinned Cena (with the help of a chair which no ref had any clue about at all), Big Show ambushed Henry and speared him until all three men eventually laid down in heaps on the floor. Then, with some help from Jay Lethal, Vickie Guerrero "congratulated" Edge by tasering him... then made out with Kurt Angle! Not very ladylike at all, but heck if I'm not glad she got that chair shot that finally gave her character a chance to move forward. WWE New Years' Revolution 2008 only had a couple notable matches this year: Title match: Maria (c) vs. Trish Stratus vs. Torrie Wilson in a TLC match for the WWE Women's title. The match was ok and fun to watch, with some unconventional dives. However the finish came from an unlikely source -- Ashley Massaro who grabbed Maria and pulled her off of Wilson before Trish could capitalize on a missed spin-out kick. Ashley then threw Trish through the middle rope, and Maria got back up to win not only the Women's title but also beat her ex teammate and stand strong throughout the WWE... or something like that. Title match: William Regal (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Jimmy Jacobs for the WWE title. In the end, Jacobs got caught in two "crossfaces" -- one each from Regal and Styles. When AJ turned around, he put his fingers into Regal's eyes and caused a disqualification. After that, however, Regal took some jabs at Jimmy by calling him boring and outright asking the RAW general manager for more help on how to deal with future title matches. On Ring of Honor Wrestling, which takes place in Ohio this week: Lacey's Angels (McGuinness & Whitmer) vs. Brian Danielson & Abyss. At Final Battle '07, Abyss squashed Shane Hagadorn & Necro Butcher. This time though, it looks more like a mixed tag where everyone wants to throw hands at each other, as Danielson actually pinned McGuinness after hitting the Cattle Mutilation. Afterwards, Mr. Silkin had an amusing little segment on the microphone talking about the status of Jelly Appreciation Month. It doesn't look like they're taking this Ring of Honor stuff seriously enough! In Japan, OZ Academy held The Wizard Of OZ event: Title match: Kyoko Inoue (c) vs. Azumi Hyuga vs. Mayumi Ozaki for the OZ Openweight title. Now this is what you get when you line up three amazing Japanese female wrestlers against each other in a title match! The match is full of intensity as all three women show case their power moves and submission holds on one another. You could have your favorites in terms of who you want to win, but all of them deserve respect here. Although ultimately Kyoko Inoue retains her championship by tapping out Mayumi Ozaki. In other wrestling news: Tetsuhiro Kuroda has been critical of NJPW young lion Razer Mori, to where he even claims that the entire rookie class should be banned from ever holding a title. WWE have performed a full draft lottery, determining which major superstar will represent either Raw or Smackdown in its advertising. Names include The Dudley Boyz, Shawn Michaels, Mark Henry, and others. Abyss and Sean Waltman will be feuding over the TNA X-Division title in upcoming episodes. Also in TNA, The Latin American Xchange have apparently disbanded, with key member Konnan defecting from the group. Tarzan Boy has been injured in front of a crowd at the Arena Coliseo, CMLL's home arena. Ring of Honor announced the signing of Jennie Star and Jerrod Gimik, graduates of the ROH Wrestling Academy, to contracts with the organization. The AJPW Triple Crown title changed hands during the New Year Shining Series tour as Keiji Mutoh beat Satoshi Kojima. AKIRA confirmed that he sustained an injury while training for his upcoming tag team title matches within AJPW. The OZ Academy Pioneer title changed hands at the Wizard Of OZ event, with current Zero1-MAX champion and OZ superstar Carlos Amano earning her newest championship by defeating Nanae Takahashi in a two out three falls match. Dragon Gate young lion KANO has been raising eyebrows in their promotion after reportedly stealing masks and other props throughout their recent King of Gate tour. KANO is also being investigated by police over reports he had allegedly stolen several laptops belonging to fellow Japanese wrestlers such as Naoki Tanizaki. In an arena in Burlington... Starring: {Sad Lass is backstage at a Burlington indy wrestling event. She sees Mr. Cheatayama lying unconscious on a bench.} SAD LASS: {to herself} Noooo... {Black Rose happens to pass by.} SAD LASS: Excuse me... BLACK ROSE: Yes, how can I help you? SAD LASS: Well... {points to The Cheat} him. BLACK ROSE: Oh, you want Bob Backlund. He's usually in the announce booth or talking to the referees between matches. You can try finding him out there. SAD LASS: Thank you... (Cut to the announce booth, where Bob is watching the match intently.) BOB BACKLUND: Ladies and gentlemen, here comes the challenger, Lacey Von Erich! She has her eyes set on the champion, Venus! This is gonna be one heck of a match! {Sad Lass walks up to the announce booth and taps Bob on the shoulder.} BOB BACKLUND: Ah, hello there. Are you lost, young lady? SAD LASS: No, sir... BOB BACKLUND: How may I help you? SAD LASS: Well, um... you see... BOB BACKLUND: Well, Sad Lass, I'm glad to meet you. As far as advice goes, remember to always stay humble and work hard in the ring. You'll never know when opportunity might knock. Now, if that's all, I need to get back to the action. Good luck to you, and keep striving for your dreams! {Bob Backlund returns to the announce booth as the match continues.} SAD LASS: Thanks... {During the next commercial break, The Cheat is being checked by the EMT. Sad Lass decides to confront Black Rose in the locker room.} BLACK ROSE: Oh, hi, Sad Lass. What do you want? SAD LASS: To um... wrestle. BLACK ROSE: Hmm...well, you have talent, but you're still pretty green. Maybe you could start by working for AWMPSCE and getting a few years under your belt. Then you'd be in a better position to impress me. SAD LASS: Thank you... {walks away} {Scene ends with Black Rose smirking and adjusting her tiara.} Sexy Juliet (w/ Génesis) vs. Sad Lass (w/ Mr. Cheatayama, visibly sick and dizzy) VS From the moment Sad Lass entered the ring, she would always find a way to deflect any sort of piercing attacks from Sexy Juliet. This made for an intense battle as the Huntress missed one sweet killshot after another and began to get frustrated with her opponent's ability to get out of danger in a blink of an eye. After many attempts to launch a double team attack with support of her manager, Mr. Cheatayama, Lass lost patience when these tactics weren't bearing fruit. With a last ditch effort and a successful double-leg body lock, Lass exploded with retributive fury and planted Juliet into the hard surface. "1... 2!" Both wrestlers got up, face to face, as La Sicaria sent the Victorian hit machine crashing against the opposite ropes. Puzzled Lass barely had time to defend herself before Juliet charged and hit her right in the perimeter! Lifting her fallen opponent in her strong hands, Juliet wasted no time in setting up for her signature move while Génesis added her intimidating bark. Sad Lass also fought back with surprising speed, attempting to counter the finish but eventually missing and falling victim to a powerful Huntress DDT! "1... 2... 3!" A helpless Mr. Cheatayama let out a groan that could be heard from outer space. Winner: Sexy Juliet (Rating: 27)

COMING TO AWMPSCE NEXT WHENEVER-I-FEEL-LIKE-IT...

December 2007 week 4 (2nd half) It's finally time to reveal the Wrestling Observer End-Of-Year Awards... it's a close race this year! Best Referee: Daichi Muruyama (AJPW) Best Color Commentator: Eric Bischoff (WWE) Best Announcer: Jim Ross (WWE) Best Manager: Ric Flair (WWE) Best Independent Wrestler: Azumi Hyuga Most Improved Company: OZ Academy Best Female Wrestler: Trish Stratus (WWE) Best Veteran Wrestler: Jushin Thunder Liger (NJPW, AAA) Best Young Wrestler: Jay Lethal (WWE) Best Show: NJPW G1 Climax 2007 Best Match: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Jushin Thunder Liger in the NJPW G1 Climax semifinals Best Tag Team: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam (WWE) Best Company: New Japan Pro Wrestling And the Wrestler of the Year is... Hiroshi Tanahashi! He was absolutely the best all-around wrestler throughout this year so he deserves this big honor! Congratulations! There were plenty of pro wrestling shows on television across the world this week. In America, WWE Smackdown was aired: In-ring promo with Steve Austin. Good stuff as Austin talked about the upcoming tag team contests tonight, the injuries he carried through his WWE career, and possibly un-retiring later on. Jimmy Jacobs & Samoa Joe vs. Eugene & Big Brian Black. A good victory for the villains thanks to their shenanigans. Joe pinned Black quickly; he must be gunning for another US title shot. Scotty Goldman also distracted his ex-partner during the finish from outside the ring. John Cena, Jay Lethal & Simon Dean vs. Paul London, Bradshaw & Brian Kendrick. A victory by the heel team as Cena pinned Kendrick. There was a nice finish here when Simon Dean low-blowed Kendrick, allowing his teammate to win and get revenge for him interfering in their matches earlier this month. Edge & Booker T vs. Kurt Angle & Shawn Daivari. I did see this match live at the Wings Stadium and it still managed to remain entertaining while watching it again on television. They had a few nice moments worth mentioning: Kurt missed the Angle Lock on Daivari but ended up hitting the Olympic Slam, then Edge got taken down into an Olympic Slam himself. And finally, Booker T reconnected with the scissors kick after using the Book End - all of which led to an amazing nearfall that made me jump out of my seat! The referee reversed the decision for an illegal pin though and Daivari eventually caught him in the camel clutch for the submission. On the following Sunday Night Heat: Royal Rumble News with Candice Michelle & Melina Pérez. Big news regarding a possible match between Maria and Trish Stratus before the Rumble, but we'll get more information about THAT soon enough! If those two do end up facing off in this event, expect big things to happen at Orlando, Florida... including possibly turning a major rivalry to its final chapter!! A few events happening in Japan, including DDT Never Mind 2007: Title match: The Great Sasuke (c) vs. Mr. Magic for the KO-D Openweight title. A very entertaining encounter between the two high-flyers, who both kept things on an even footing throughout the entire match. After several nearfalls (including a last second hurricanrana) and some innovative acrobatics, Sasuke got Mr. Magic in a new finisher - which was called a "Misleading Lariat" by commentator Haruo Murata. It was his second title defense. And the Lonestar Championship Wrestling Supercard, another one of Japan's surreal wrestling parodies: Title match: Masaaki Mokizuki (c) vs. Ryusuke Taguchi for the LCW All Texas title. In what I can only call the 'Grappler Arena' due to Mochizuki's focus on submissions here, these two had themselves quite a long bout that tested their grappling prowess against each other. Towards the end, however, it was all about strikes as they delivered several powerful blows back and forth. Eventually, Mochizuki caught Taguchi into an abdominal stretch submission where he cried out in pain before passing out, prompting the referee to stop the contest. This was also Mochizuki's third successful title defense after a two month reign. Mexico gave us this week's CMLL Super Viernes: Rey Bucanero, Perro Aguayo Jr. & Hector Garza vs. Tarzan Boy, Scorpio Jr. & Emilio Charles Jr. During the main event, Scorpion delivered his signature move - the Senton on Bucanero. This turned into the finish, as Scorpio landed a second one off the ropes and got a nearfall! Unfortunately for him, he eventually tapped out to the Dragon Sleeper during the following break. A nice fun tag match in any event. In other wrestling news: Vampiro was caught in possession of substances while trying to enter the United States for a TNA event. He was fined by US authorities but TNA have not released a statement yet. AAA Sin Limite has gone off air with an 'indefinite' hiatus. TNA's contract with DirectTV has expired, and the company are looking into other options for broadcasting their shows. The National Wrestling Alliance brokered a talent loan arrangement with World Wrestling Council (WWC). Several Puerto Rican wrestlers have been slated for various upcoming storylines on All Star Wrestling in the UK. Bullfight Sora has taken an MMA fight at a Japanese Budo Fighting event on June 20. She is one of the two NEO joshi wrestlers who currently competes in both MMA and professional wrestling, alongside Ayako Sato. Wednesday will see a brand new show on Rogers TV, featuring Canada's Border City Wrestling. Check out their website for more details! Robbie McAllister has been engaging in a real estate war with Hulk Hogan's daughter over his house, as reported yesterday. While the details are sketchy, apparently Hulk is trying to block McAllister from selling the property in court after the wrestler has requested bankruptcy protection several months ago. And speaking of Hulk Hogan, the first two minutes in this [link] feature his daughter Brooke Hogan having a tantrum and saying that McAllister "had it coming". I'm no psychiatrist but these are unsettling times for BH! ಠ_ಠ In The Poopsmith's office... Starring: {Strong Bad and The Poopsmith are seated at the AWMPSCE office desk. They have just finished counting the money made from tonight's show, revealing that they received a total of $2,057 in profit for their work.} STRONG BAD: Wow! That was quite the roof-set-fire-to we put on there! THE POOPSMITH: {gives Strong Bad a thumbs up} STRONG BAD: Me neither! And don't worry about having to pay us next time - we're taking our cut out of your profits! It's only fair. THE POOPSMITH: {shows Strong Bad the workers' salary sheet} STRONG BAD: Ha ha, I doubt it! As far as I can remember, all the jobber jobs were pretty much "just like it or lump it" offers, and I certainly don't remember you negotiating a higher wage. THE POOPSMITH: {concerned} STRONG BAD: {dryly} ...You're absolutely right. They do have us over Niagara Falls in a barrel on that one. Hmm... Well, if we're going to get paid for our work here at AWMPSCE, maybe it's time for a little restructure revolution within the company. {The Poopsmith looks confused as he realizes where this conversation is leading.} STRONG BAD: We could start by me getting promoted up to President, while you stay down here with me in the mail room, serving coffee and making sure we don't get any lawsuits over incompetence. What do you say? THE POOPSMITH: {folds his arms, annoyed} STRONG BAD: ...Huh? {awkwardly} I thought we were on the same team here! We're a partnership, after all! What about our unspoken bond of "Together for Heather?" THE POOPSMITH: {stares} STRONG BAD: Well, excuse me for wanting to unlock my stardom potential! What are you suggesting instead then, Poopsmith? Let's just keep on doing the same thing that we've been doing for weeks now and hope that no one decides to sue us over some clavicus majorus injury? Because last time I checked, the wrestling world isn't exactly for lesser wusses and Strong Sads... {The Poopsmith shakes his head.} STRONG BAD: ...Okay, forget what I said about the last bit. Nevermind... {the Poopsmith sighs in response} Seriously though, are you telling me that we're going to continue on as is? It was fun for a while and all, but if this keeps up, AWMPSCE will just be one more acronym on a list of acronyms that people don't talk about anymore. Think of the childrens! They need their childhoods back! And they need it now! {The Poopsmith shakes his head again.} STRONG BAD: {cutting him off} Okay, never mind. Forget it, Poop-a-doodle Dandy! I take it back then! Let's just go ahead and keep doing things exactly as before - we got nothing better to do anyway and with Videlectrix and Bubs sponsoring us, what could go wrong? {The two wrestlers nod in agreement with each other, while Strong Bad shuts off the video game and returns to his desk.}

He's my WWE champion too. He's also #20 in the 500 for that year.

Secretly, Sad Lass would outshine every other performer if she had any popularity at all.

Anyone you coincidentally used in the "Local Worker" list while doing a TV show?