ACW:This Sucks

[Raveneffect21]

[B]Note:[/B]This is pretty much stupid fiction, it's not going to be realistic so Don't expect it to be Mark Arm, Mark Lanegan, Chris Cornell, and Jim Norton where sittin' around being a bunch of silly geese watching Raw on TIVO at 4am at some diner in a city that starts with a y and ends with a chcka [B]Cornell[/B]:Change it this sucks Mark Arm put its on Impact Satellites are shown while TNA proclaims to be the new face of professional wrestling but then shows a picture of Jeff Jarret [B]Norton[/B]: TNA Sucks it's just of bunch of goblins in green tights running around, it pisses me off...............................................ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I wish Dixie Carter would close it [B]Arm[/B]:ROH ROH ROH ROH [B]Everyone[/B]:SHUT UP [B]Norton[/B]:RAMONEEEEEEEEEEE SOMEONE GET THIS TURD A 90 MINUTE MATCH TO PLEASURE HIMSELF TO RAMONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE [B]Lanegan[/B]:We should start our own promotion that doesn't suck [B]Cornell[/B]:No see ya Cornell then leaves the diner and suddenly starts flying to San Francisco cause he has a concert there on July 10th [B]Arm[/B]:No I got better things to do like watch Russ Meyer films Arm then summons his giant clam and rides away [B]Lanegan[/B]:What about you Jim? [B]Noron[/B]:Sure ill help, what are we going to call it [B]Lanegan[/B]:Um how bout ACW, Alternative Championship Wrestling [B]Norton[/B]:Yea MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN lets go find wrestlers And a promotion was born

[Extreme_Athlete33]

ahaha sounds awesome. I love diaries where the writer can have loads of fun. I'll be reading for sure. Interested to see what kind of write-ups and angles you'll come up with.

[Raveneffect21]

[IMG]http://www.drownedinsound.com/images/12318.jpeg[/IMG][IMG]http://www.hbo.com/onenightstand/img/252x190/jimnorton02.jpg[/IMG] Mark & Lil Jimmy are sitting around in a board room, and they mean buisness [B]Mark[/B]:So do you know any wrestlers [B]Jimmy[/B]:I met Rob Van Dam at an Ozzy concert once, he was cool [B]Mark[/B]: Do you have his phone number? [B]Jimmy:[/B]Yea [B]Mark[/B]:Call em stupid [B]Jimmy[/B]:Ok Jim pulls out his cell and calls RVD, he puts the call on speaker [B]Jimmy[/B]:Hey Rob [B]RVD[/B]:Yea [B]Jimmy[/B]: Do you wanna join a promotion me and the guy from the Screaming Trees are starting [B]RVD[/B]:Um WWE doesn't have me under contract, and Jeff Jarret is camping outside of my house right now, im f***ing scared right now, so yea ill sign the contract just get me outta here. Mark sends Cornell to fly him to Seattle [B]Mark[/B]:Ok cool, and some other good news, I just signed Chris Jericho & Brock Lesnar because this is a wrestling game and they were on hiatus [B]Jimmy[/B]:Alright thats a start For the next 5 hours Jim & Mark got a surprising amount of famous wrestlers to sign with them, Including Bobby Lashley who was signed with ACW because they would supply him with Colgate, they singed AJ Styles by promising him red crayons at every show, they got Kendrick & London by telling them there would be Chucky Cheese ball pits there, and they got Matt Hardy by telling him Pearl Jam would play at his birthday party, and they got Jeff because Jim accidenttally picked him up thinking he was a working girl. After all there hard work here was the complete ACW roster Abyss AJ Styles Bobby Lashley Bobby Roode Booker T Brian Kendrick Brock Lesnar Brother Ray Bryan Danielson Chris Benoit Chris Harris Chris Jericho Chris Sabin Christain Cage Christopher Daniels CM Punk Dave Finaly Edge Hernandez Homicide Jay Lethal James Storm Jeff Hardy Joey Mecurru Johnny Nitro Ken Doane Ken Kennedy Kurt Angle Low-KI Matt Hardy Paul Burchill Paul London Petey Williams Psicosis Raven Rey Mysterio Rhino RVD Sabu Samoa Joe Shelton Benjamin Super Crazy Undertaker William Regal Then it was time for TV deals but after there very unsuccesfull attempts at TV deal Mark got an Idea [B]Mark[/B]:Let's start our own TV network [B]Jimmy[/B]:OK ITS DONE BECAUSE I'M BOARD ROOM JIMMY [B]Mark[/B]:Well call it ATV, Alternative Television Within hours ATV was being broadcasted all over the world, since they had no programs ready, the first show was Chris Cornell taking off his shirt, then putting it on again for a while. Then the gang called up DirecTV and if you've seen Direct TV you know they'll broadcast anything on PPV so they agreed instantly. The dream had finally become a reality (The first show is gonna come from my own mind since it would be immposible on TEW, but after the I will start the real game)

[Raveneffect21]

[IMG]http://67.166.78.61/rendered/cooltext59803214.jpg[/IMG] ACW Alternatively Kicking Your Ass [IMG]http://www.ryansalmphotography.com/_FULLSIZE_PHOTOS/rocknroll001.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://data.muzikus.cz/save/db_images/1220[/IMG] To start the show Eddie Vedder & Mike McCready performed the National Anthem, Jeff Ament was invited but when Jim asked him all he said was "I'm In Pearl Jam bitch", then he stole some basketballs from Big 5. [IMG]http://www.drownedinsound.com/images/12318.jpeg[/IMG] Mark:Hello viewers, welcome to ACW's ppv debut, we got a big night"...Mark is then hit right in the head with a 12 string bass, Jeff Ament then runs to the ring with a mic in his hand [IMG]http://www.modulusguitars.com/v2/artists/images/JeffAment.jpg[/IMG] [B]Jeff[/B]:I'M IN PEARL JAM BITCH, I STEAL BASKETBALLS N'****, IM AWESOME, I CHALLENGE ANY ONE IN THAT ACW TO BATTLE ME, IN A MATCH, AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Eddie Vedder then runs to the ring a to a big pop, and he shoots Jeff with a tranq dart and drags him to the back [B]Eddie[/B]:SORRY EVERYONE, LETS START THE SHOW Eddie then walks over to Mark and joins him on commentary when the first match starts The camera jumps to Mike Inez who is our ring announcer tonight [IMG]http://www.aliceinchains.com/images/news/mike_inez2.jpg[/IMG] [B]Inez[/B]:This next match is scheduled for one fall and is sure to be a cluster****, is for the ACW INTERNATIONAL TITLE [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Rob%20Van%20Dam.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Bobby%20Lashley.jpg[/IMG] vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Christian%20Cage.jpg[/IMG] vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/CM%20Punk%202.jpg[/IMG] vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Rhino.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Samoa%20Joe.jpg[/IMG] vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Shelton%20Benjamin.jpg[/IMG] This match was cool, so cool that Ronnie B was referee, after a grueling match RVD picked up the win by hitting the 5 start frog smash thing on CM punk for the 3 RVD wins the the title YAY After the match we had a surprise apperance from HULK HOGAN THE IMMORTAL HOLY CRAP [IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0e/Hulk_Hogan.jpg/270px-Hulk_Hogan.jpg[/IMG] The crowd starts booing because I guess they don't like bandanas [B]Hulk[/B]:YOU KNOW SOMETHING SEATTLE DON'T BOO, NO DONT, FRAISER IS MY FAVORITE TV SHOW The crowd still is booing [B]Hulk[/B]:YOU SEE NO I LIKE SEATTLE, SINGLES IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE Then all of a sudden, the "Grunge" pioner Mark Arm comes out [IMG]http://www.mudhoney.net/press/1999/990600a.jpg[/IMG] [B]Mark Arm[/B]:Hulk just quit these people don't like you [B]Hulk[/B]:What do you know, Mudhoney sucks [B]Mark[/B]:OH **** [B]Hulk[/B]:LETS GO THEN, YOU WANNA GO [IMG]http://www.mudhoney.net/press/1999/990600a.jpg[/IMG] vs [IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0e/Hulk_Hogan.jpg/270px-Hulk_Hogan.jpg[/IMG] The match starts with Arm throwing rain on Hogan, Hogan is hurt but he recovers and throws some sun on Arm, hes hurt but ok, they got into some real fighting now and it looks like Hogan is gonna win, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH, BODY SLAM, AND HOGAN LEG DROP 1..Arm kicks out because it's just a leg drop Arm then calls out Warrant, and Hogan is distratced, but when he realises what hes doing he turns around and gets hit with the Space Needle 1..2..3 MARK ARM WINS Hogan then is crowd surfed out of the building while Today by the Pumpkins plays Then back to real wrestling [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Bobby%20Roode.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Petey%20Williams%202.jpg[/IMG] vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Brian%20Kendrick.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Paul%20London.jpg[/IMG] vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Bubba%20Ray%20Dudley.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/D-Von%20Dudley.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Chris%20Harris.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/James%20Storm.jpg[/IMG] vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Joey%20Matthews.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/John%20Hennigan.jpg[/IMG] This was for the Tag titles, and it was a match Kendrick & London won, hoooray After the match Raven was shown backstage in some room [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Raven.jpg[/IMG] [B]Raven[/B]:Seattle's Cold, quote the raven, nevermore Now it's time for the Cruserweight title match [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/AJ%20Styles.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Bryan%20Danielson.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Rey%20Mysterio%20Iggy.jpg[/IMG] Rey looks younger, The Dragon may need braces Rey wins YEA before the Main event Paranoid hits and ACW's owner Jim Norton comes out [IMG]http://www.nndb.com/people/927/000031834/jimnorton03.jpg[/IMG] The crowd starts chanting "Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy" [B]Jimmy[/B]:FURRRRRRRNKISSS The crowd goes INSANE [B]Jim[/B]:HEY everybody why did the chicken cross the basketball court Crowd:Why did he [B]Jim[/B]:Because he heard the ref was blowin fouls The Crowd LAUFS [B]Jim[/B]:This promotion is great ya know Jim moons the crowd and leaves TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT [B]BIG BATTLE ROYALE, WINNER GETS BELT[/B] After a long time KURT ANGLE WINS THE ACW WORLD TITLE YEA [B]Notes:[/B]The show was pretty disorganized, I will have everything ready for tommorow and the real stuff will start, thanks to anyone who read that tripe.

[Raveneffect21]

[IMG]http://12.47.45.78/rendered/cooltext59872204.jpg[/IMG] Mark & Jimmy are at a Cataray Mark:5 BUYS, JIM WHAT THE HELL Jim: Don't be silly, know one knew we were around Mark:Got any ideas? Jim:Yea the superbowl is coming up, lets get a commercial. Mark: Do you have any idea how much that would cost Jim:About 600 bucks Anthony:Perhaps a bit more than that Jim Mark:It's gonna cost millions Jim:So, I know at least 6 millionares Mark:ORLY? Jim:Yea Mark:THEN CALL ABC Jimmy then became board room Jimmy and called up ABC and put the phone on speaker, after Jimmy weaving through a bunch of nobodies he finally got to someone important at ABC. Jim:LISTEN, WHAT WE WANT IS A SUPEBOWL SPOT, AND WE WANT IT NOW ABC:Ok, we have ten minutes left for a first quarter break, each 30 seconds cost 10 million dollars. Jim:WE WANT ALL 10 MINUTES ABC:Ok that will cost 200 Million Jim then whispers around and gets an answer Jim:OK WE WANT ALL 10 MINUTES, ILL PAY YOU IN CASH After 6 hours of searching Jim delivered 200 million dollars in change to the ABC studio. __________________ The Day of the Superbowl came and ACW's 10 minute commercial came, everyone loved it, and people all around the world wanted ACW

[Tyler Gadzinski]

what size promotion are you.. and not to throw a damper on the situation if your promotion isnt that big say regional or under.. the TV station will probably kick you off after 2 - 3 weeks and with the size of your roster you wont be able to stick all of them on a show every week/month and if there on PPA then youll go bankrupt fast.. this has happened to me on numerous occassions .. I want to start a promotion sign a bunch of big names thinking theyll put on great matches and raise the promotions popularity fast .. truth is they really dont and they just cost alot.. pretty good diary so far though .. hopefully it doesnt go bankrupt PS please put angle/match ratings.

[Raveneffect21]

[QUOTE=Tyler Gadzinski;256345]what size promotion are you.. and not to throw a damper on the situation if your promotion isnt that big say regional or under.. the TV station will probably kick you off after 2 - 3 weeks and with the size of your roster you wont be able to stick all of them on a show every week/month and if there on PPA then youll go bankrupt fast.. this has happened to me on numerous occassions .. I want to start a promotion sign a bunch of big names thinking theyll put on great matches and raise the promotions popularity fast .. truth is they really dont and they just cost alot.. pretty good diary so far though .. hopefully it doesnt go bankrupt PS please put angle/match ratings.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE]Note:This is pretty much stupid fiction, it's not going to be realistic so Don't expect it to be[/QUOTE] [QUOTE](The first show is gonna come from my own mind since it would be immposible on TEW, but after the I will start the real game) [/QUOTE] I know what I'm doing, so don't worry

[Tyler Gadzinski]

oh my bad i didnt read that the first show was from your mind.. but anyway its not a bad diary .. I didnt mean to bash.

[Raveneffect21]

[B]ACW Roster[/B] [IMG]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/7497/acwhq4.jpg[/IMG] [B]Main Eventers[/B] Chris Jericho Kurt Angle Booker T Brock Lesnar Edge Rob Van Dam Rey Mysterio Bobby Lashley [B]Upper Midcarders[/B] Matt Hardy Jeff Hardy Chris Benoit Ken Kennedy Johnny Nitro William Regal Fit Finaly Christian Cage [B]Midcarders[/B] Bubba Ray Dudley Ken Doane D-Von Dudley Rhino Raven Samoa Joe Shelton Benjamin AJ Styles Brian Kendrick Paul London Sabu Abyss CM Punk Joey Mecury [B]Lower Midcarders[/B] Chris Harris James Storm Hernandez Homicide Christopher Daniels Paul Burchill [B]Openers[/B] Petey Williams Jay Lethal Low-Ki Robert Roode [B]Enhancement Talent[/B] Bryan Danielson Chris Sabin [B]Managers[/B] Chris Cornell Cyrus Jeff Ament James Mitchell Joel Gertner Kevin Nash Mickie James Scott D'Amore Shane Douglas [B]Announcers[/B] Opie Mark Lanegan [B]Color Commentators[/B] Anthony Cumia Eddie Vedder [B]Authority Figure[/B] Jim Norton [B]Referees[/B] Nick Patrick John McCarthy Rudy Charles Mark Johnson [B]Road Agents[/B] Ron Simmons Dean Malenko Dusty Rhodes Ricky Steamboat Dory Funk Jr.

[djthefunkchris]

Awesome!

[Raveneffect21]

[IMG]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/7497/acwhq4.jpg[/IMG] ACW WARFARE PREVIEW Low-Ki vs Christopher Daniels William Regal & Fit Finaly vs The Hardy Boys Chris Benoit vs AJ Styles Bobby Lashley vs Shelton Benjamin Chris Jericho vs Edge (should have the show up later tonight)

[Raveneffect21]

[IMG]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/7497/acwhq4.jpg[/IMG] ACW Alternatively Kicking Your Ass ACW Warfare Theme Song Mudhoney-It Is Us ACW Warfare LIVE on ATV At The Off Ramp Cafe In Front of 1,000 People [IMG]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/7396/lanegan150x150ye5.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/9582/060502veddervmed2pwideczx3.jpg[/IMG] [B]Mark[/B]:Hello & welcome to ACW's debut on TV, we have got a huge night of [B]Vedder:[/B]Shut up Mark [B]Mark:[/B]But I'm explaining But Mark is cut off by Low-Kyyyyyssss theme music and our first match is under way [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Christopher%20Daniels.jpg[/IMG] vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Low%20Ki.jpg[/IMG] A cruserweight match here. Daniels controls early but after missing the BME he gets kicked a lot but then later he hits the Angels Wings for the 1.2.3 [B]Winner In 14:49 Christopher Daniels[/B] [B]Rating:[/B][B][COLOR="Blue"]A[/COLOR][/B] After the Match Daniels gets on the mic and begins talking. [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Christopher%20Daniels.jpg[/IMG] [B]Daniels:[/B]At our first Pay Per View I watched three jackasses wrestle for the ACW cruserweight Title, I should have been In that match, and Jim Norton knows it, these people know, and you know it Rey, so at our second Pay Per View, ACW Creeping Death, I want a shoot at your title, and I can guarrante if you say no, You will die, Welcome to the jungle Rey, your gonna die, HAHAHA wanna box? [B]Rating:[/B][COLOR="Orange"][B]C[/B][/COLOR] After Daniel's challenge we go to some stupid boflex commercial and we come back with a match [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Finlay.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://img388.imageshack.us/img388/2562/stevenregalef2.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Matt%20Hardy.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Jeff%20Hardy%202.jpg[/IMG] Great fantastic match here, and there isn't even any excellent chemistry. Hardy Boys do some high flying stuff but Finaly & Regal come through with the victory. [B]Winners In 15:22 High Socitey[/B] [B]Rating:[/B][COLOR="Cyan"]A*[/COLOR] [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Finlay.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://img388.imageshack.us/img388/2562/stevenregalef2.jpg[/IMG] We are in a challenging mood here tonight in ACW, I guess thats because I'm about as creative as the keyboard I'm typing this on. [B]Fit Finaly[/B]:LISTEN EVERYBODY, I'm pissed off, because tonight right now we should be the Tag Team Champions, but Turdface & Dumbass wont the titles last night, so what were saying is we want a shoot right now. [B]Regal[/B]:Ok we won't leave until you two buttmonkeys come out here The akwardly wait until we go into commercial [B]Rating:[COLOR="Green"]B+[/COLOR][/B] [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/AJ%20Styles.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Chris%20Benoit.jpg[/IMG] We come back to commercial with this match, Technical Wrestling and Spot wrestling together here in ACW, Benoit finally gets AJ to tap after 15 minutes. [B]Winner in 15:57 Chris Benoit Rating:[COLOR="Green"]B+[/COLOR][/B] After the match the "R Rated Superstar" Edge comes out to the ring. [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Edge.jpg[/IMG] [B]Edge[/B]:I should've never left WWE, and trust me I wouldnt have if I knew I'd be surronded by cold weather and coffe every damn minute, this wrestling stinks, look we got Chris Benoit, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Benoit sucks, He's boring, hes everything wrestling needs to leave behind, and tonight I face that charasmatic boob known as Chris Jericho, YEA Y2J, Chris Jericho is a short haired buttmonster who is never, EEHEHEHEHEVER, gonna be in my league. [B]Rating:[COLOR="Green"]B+[/COLOR][/B] [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Bobby%20Lashley.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Shelton%20Benjamin.jpg[/IMG] Well I guess Benjamin & Lashley are the new Warrior & Khali because there wasn't enough selling shown, the lack of selling had the seattle crowd chanting "That did hurt" during the match, still not a bad match Lashley wins with a Spear. [B]Winner in 18:27 Bobby Lashley Rating:[COLOR="SeaGreen"]B[/COLOR][/B] Before his match Chris Jericho came out to the ring to hype the crowd [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Chris%20Jericho.jpg[/IMG] [B]Jericho[/B]:WELCOME EVERYONE TO FRAISER IS JERICHO, Every since I signed with ACW, people have been asking me, Why Jericho, Why Not TNA, well because as soon as I signed with TNA, they were gonna have me wrestle with Norman Smilley in a DREAM MATCH THE FANS DEMANDED, the only fans demanding TNA's product is the kind of fans Stephen Lynch describes in his song Special Fred. People where then asking me, Why Not WWE, well because WWE SUCKS, almost as much as Edge does, Now Edge says hes the R Rated Superstar, but I disagree I say hes the X Rated superstar because in the back he showed me a little movie he made with Sean Waltmen, good luck with that Edge, and good luck with your match tonight against me, because you'll need, because Y2J is going to give you the ass beating of the decade. [B]Rating:[COLOR="Green"]B+[/COLOR][/B] After a short commercial break it's time for our Main Event [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Chris%20Jericho.jpg[/IMG]vs[IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Edge.jpg[/IMG] A great Main Event, a great match, both guys were awesome. Jericho won with a lionsault. [B]Winner In 23:54 Chris Jericho Rating:[COLOR="Cyan"]A*[/COLOR][/B] [IMG]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/7396/lanegan150x150ye5.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/9582/060502veddervmed2pwideczx3.jpg[/IMG] [B]Mark[/B]:WHAT A GREAT SHOW, THANKS FOR JOINING US WELL SEE YOU.. [B]Vedder:[/B]ON THE CEILING IN UH VOICE AH BEDDER I SAID I WANNA LEAVE IT AGAIN The camera then cuts backstage where Raven is [IMG]http://www.freewebs.com/nevermoreefed/Raven.jpg[/IMG] Raven:I like coffee, quote the Raven, NEVERMORE. [B]Rating:[COLOR="SeaGreen"]B-[/COLOR][/B] [B]Show Rating:[COLOR="SeaGreen"]B-[/COLOR][/B](To intense for I guess)

[Tyler Gadzinski]

when are you gonna do a second show.