PSW: F*** the B*******, Let's Bring Back Real F****** Wrestling

[Sons of Kohral]

[CENTER] [B]"Getting F*****... and not in a good way"[/B] I staggered back, my legs wobbling beneath me and air coming short. The bright lights reflected of the sweat on my body, blinding me in its radiance. I braced myself for the next hit, sure it was approaching. The blow hit me square in the jaw, causing me to lurch awkwardly to one side. Yep… it was definitely blood I was tasting this time. I shifted gears, allowing instinct to take the place of reason. I transformed from man to beast, and I allowed the animal within to control my body. I looked up in time to duck a cross. I pushed his hand away with my right and responded hard with a left hook. I was a southpaw after all. The blow hit cleanly and my opponent looked dazed. I went for an uppercut and felt a hard kick to my knee. My leg buckled from under me. I grabbed the wall of the cage as the crowd cheered. I steadied myself on the cage and prepared for the onslaught I was sure would follow. I was defenseless, and the worst part was that I knew it. I closed my eyes and braced myself, but the blows never came, instead, I heard the shrill cry of the bell ring. I opened my eyes and saw my opponent lying on the face, his face covered n a gooey crimson mask. I gasped for breath. “Your winner, and STILL the GAMMA Heavyweight Champion, Chris “The Outlaw” Taylor!” The ref walked over to me. I hobbled from the cage and he held up my hand as the crowd roared. My team ran into the cage, jumping as I was handed the belt. “You did it!” My manager Skip yelled over the crowd. “That’s eight defenses! A new record!” An “Outlaw” chant started and I was soaking it in, but something was wrong. I felt like I was getting farther and farther away… “I turned to Skip, he was saying something but I couldn’t hear him. Suddenly his eyes got wide… My head… why is everything spinning… Oh my God.. my leg… I can’t feel my leg… I think I fell…. everything’s white…[/CENTER]

[Sons of Kohral]

[CENTER][B]"I Never Liked Doctors..."[/B] The next thing I remember was being really pissed off and throwing my IV drip across the room at a nurse who was showing way too much cleavage. Now, I'm all for cleavage, but not when I don't know where I am or why I'm laying butt naked in a bed save for some felt reindeer antlers on my head. Three doctors and six orderlies had to run in and sedate me as I launched obscenities at each and every one of them. When I woke up again I was sitting in a wheelchair. I had on a hospital gown and (thank God) I wasn't wearing antlers anymore. But I was still pissed. The nurse walked in and told me that the doctor would be right with me. I quickly looked around for something to throw and seriously considered trying to run her over with my chair, but she closed the door. The doctor later came in and told me (after I had tried to roll out my window) that the prognosis wasn't as bad as everyone had first thought. My knee cap wasn't shattered, but there were definitely stress cracks in it and I was suffering from minor nerve damage. He started using really big words and I comforted myself by knowing that I could probably kick his ass even from my chair. I was almost asleep hen he finally said something I could understand. After physical therapy, I would definitely be able to walk again. He was less than enthusiastic about being able to run, and he basically told me I would never be able to compete in the cage again. My MMA career was over. After the orderlies sedated me again after I had tried to quickly break the doctor's limb with an armbar, I was finally forced to take a good long look at my life. I was doing that, when there was a knock on the door. I looked over, wondering who it could be... Oh s***... [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, I haven't seen you in a while... came here to say "I told you so?"[/COLOR] A while was an understatement. It had been about 5 years. And now the only girl I ever loved was standing in the room. Actually, I didn't really give a s*** anymore, but still, when you were just told you were crippled, your ex isn't really the first person you want to see. [COLOR="Red"]"Actually, yes."[/COLOR] Hmmm... I really wasn't expecting that... [COLOR="Blue"]"Call a nurse."[/COLOR] She looked perplexed, then worried. [COLOR="Red"]"Why?"[/COLOR] I don't remember much after the orderlies had sedated me again and removed anything from the room that wasn't nailed down, but I do remember waking up and seeing some dude sitting down next to my bed, watching me. [COLOR="Green"]"Hello, Mr. Taylor... I'm here with an offer that'll change your entire life..."[/COLOR] If I were a better storyteller, I'd put a cliffhanger here, but I'm neither a good storyteller, nor do I really give a f*** about building tension. [COLOR="Blue"]"I'm not signing any f***** autographs right now. Get the f*** out..." [/COLOR] He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat. I cut him off. [COLOR="Blue"]"How f***** old are you anyway? Twelve?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Green"]"I'm 31!"[/COLOR] he said, seemingly getting angry. [COLOR="Green"]"Nevermind, listen I'm Mitch Naess, the owner of PSW."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"P-S what?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Green"]"You never heard of us?"[/COLOR] I shook my head. [COLOR="Green"]"Have you heard of DaVE?"[/COLOR] A lightbulb went off. [COLOR="Blue"]"Oh! Your Dave's boyfriend! Yeah, that's the faggot who calls our GAMMA pay per views."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Green"]"..no... DaVe was a... you know what, forget it."[/COLOR] He got up to leave, but hesitated in the doorway. [COLOR="Green"]"I'm leaving my card here. Give my secretary a call if you're interested in a meeting. The guys requested you by name, I thought it'd be nice if you got on board. I mean, especially since you'll never be able to fight again..." [/COLOR] And with that he left. I looked at the card laying on the dresser and for the first time that day, went to sleep without sedatives. [/CENTER]

[darthsiddus2]

:eek:language brother. we have kids here!

[FINisher]

George Carlin: Seven words (you can't say) (.. on the GDS forum) :D

[Sons of Kohral]

[I]A/N: Yeah, **** the colors... it shouldn't be too hard to keep track of who is saying what. If it is, let me know.[/I] [CENTER][B]"This is P-S F*****-W!"[/B] I started physical therapy and was met with the nice surprise that I was physically able to walk with a cane. My therapist said that I might be able to walk without it in 8 to 12 months, but the fact that I wouldn't be constricted to a wheelchair was very uplifting. I was released from the hospital a few days later and was met with the harsh reality that I wouldn't be fighting anymore. GAMMA had called in order to tell me that they wanted to buy me out of my contract, I would have to say yes. There was also another message from that guy Mitch who visited me. I fished out the card from my wallet and stared at it for a few minutes before finally deciding not to call... then King Cola called and told me they were dropping me from sponsorship... so I called Mitch and scheduled an appointment for that afternoon. I did a little background research on the PSW deal and learned that they were some sort of "racy, edgy" wrestling promotion. I was kind of just like, "whatever" when I checked in with his secretary and walked through his door. I wont lie, the tiny angry man that was inside kind of scared the hell out of me. He was ranting on the phone and pointed to a chair, so I sat and watched as his face got redder and redder. Finally he snapped his phone shut and threw it clear across the room, cracking the dry wall. "What the **** do you want?" he asked dropping to his seat, watching the monitor of his computer. "I'm Chris Taylor... you came to me in the hospital with a proposition?" He glanced at me for a second. "Oh yeah, forget about it. It's off the table." He muttered something about the mouse not working and started slamming it against his desk until it literally cracked in two. All this while the vein in his head bulged like it was going to explode. "Hang on, listen, I don't know what the hell that call was about, or what happened today, but you need to relax. You came to me seeming desperate and now I'm willing to hear you out." He just stared right through me the whole time and I saw his upper lip start quivering into a snarl... oh ****... "Relax? RELAX! Do you have any idea what the **** I'm going through?! I have kids with egos the size of my dick complaining every five ****ing seconds, a wrestling promotion which is sinking faster than the Titanic, I can barely afford to pay anybody, my car payments are overdue, my weed man doesn't have any weed, my girls on her period and apparently they stopped selling Whoppers! So don't ****ing tell me that I need to relax! **** you and get the **** out of my office!" I was caught off guard for about two seconds (I counted). "**** ME?! No, **** you! You think you got it bad? I was the greatest MMA fighter of this generation, I will never be able to compete again, hell, I might never be able to walk without this cane again, my title was stripped off me, my endorsement deals were all dropped, I haven't been laid in six years, I have no income, no job, no girl, no future and now I have a tiny little man whose throat I could rip out in less than eleven seconds cursing and bitching at me in his office! So **** you you **** riding faggot!" I breathed deeply, trying to control myself from throwing my chair at him. We glared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, neither one of us moving. Suddenly, he gave me a creepy ass smile that seemed extremely out of place given the circumstances. "Yeah... I think you'll fit in just fine..." ---- After a twenty minute cool down session which involved me calling my lawyer to find out exactly what constituted as assault, my new friend Mitch explained to me in detail all the events leading up to this. He explained the east coast wars, DaVE's victory, their golden age, along with their demise and his idea for a new DaVE, which was PSW. I listened intently throughout the whole thing. "That's all well and good, but why would you need me?" I asked. "It's actually quite simple. During your tenure as an MMA fighter with GAMMA, you've been brash, ****y, loudmouthed, and quite frankly, you really didn't give a **** what was in poor taste. Essentially, that was what made DaVE so popular and in the end, what I hope will help rise PSW to that level." "OK, great, but why me? I have no experience in wrestling, I never watched wrestling nor do I have any desire in running anything.I can never compete in a ring again and it takes me forever to get around with this thing." "You see, apparently, a lot of our boys are avid MMA fans and are huge fans of yours. With morale being in the ****ter lately, a lot of them are worried that the same fate of DaVE will befall us, I thought that bringing in an outside guy would restore some faith in the locker room. Of course, we would give you a spot on our creative team. A quick youtube of your press conferences before matches shows you have a very creative way of... demoralizing your opponents. And, I thought of something kind of cool you could do." "What's that?" "We would set up a website for you and link it to PSW's official site. From there you could rate and give your personal feedback with your own style on each of our events. Not any of that padded bull**** where you make us look good. No, I want want you to straight shoot and pop off at the mouth at every chance." I smiled. A steady income, a relatively secure job AND a place where I could make fun of greased up men rubbing on each other? It seemed too good to be true. "OK, I think I can do that. Mr. Naess, you got yourself a ****ing deal." We shook hands. "Mr. Taylor, Together, I think we can bring back the age of extreme." [/CENTER]

[tizzyt]

alright... any back story that has someone listening to a doctor thinking to himself that he can probably kick his @$$ even in a wheelchair has got me hooked, I'm never too big on C-Verse diaries (because, well, I've never played a C-Verse game myself) but I'll definitely be checking this out

[Sons of Kohral]

[CENTER][SIZE="4"][B]"Quite Frankly, I Don't Give A F*** What's In Poor Taste"[/B][/SIZE] [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/MitchNaess.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/TheWolverine.jpg[/IMG] I met up with Mitch and a wrestler called Wolverine. That was it. This was our booking team. I rested my cane on the table and Wolfie started rambling on about this guy named "The Tank" or "Bradley The Tank" or something like that. I don't know, I'm over it. We had to get a card up and I helped make it. And by helped, I mean I just sat there and nodded every 5 minutes as Mitch typed it out on his macbook. Great we had ourselves a card and Mitch introduced me to my office, which looked more like a closet than anything else. I had just sat down when there was a knock on the door. "What?" [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/AshCampbell.jpg[/IMG] The kid walked in and stared at me wide-eyed. I looked at him and rose my eyebrow. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" I sighed. "Relax, I don't want you stroking out on the floor." "Sorry, sorry sorry! I'm a huge fan!" "Uh huh... OK. That's... cool?" "Can I get your autograph?!" He held out a pad and a pen. I looked at it quizzically. "I'm going to be working here. I'll be here for a long time." "PLEASE?" "Listen kid-" "PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE?" "FINE!" I grab the pen and quickly sign my name. He looks as giddy as a dork from the AV club who just f***** the homecoming queen while she was drunk and he runs out. I shake my head and looked over the card. [B][SIZE="3"]PSW That's What She Said January 2008 *All Matches Hardcore Unless Otherwise Noted Brimstone vs. Dead Bolt The Good Ol' Boys vs. The Ring Generals PSW National Championship Match: Steven Parker (C) vs. Lazy Joe Alex Braun vs. Teddy Powell PSW Championship Table Match: Johnny Martin (C) vs. The Wolverine[/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]

[FINisher]

PSW That's What She Said Brimstone vs. [B]Dead Bolt[/B] I honestly have no idea, as they both suck. :D [B]The Good Ol' Boys[/B] vs. The Ring Generals Better hardcore wrestlers. Steven Parker (C) vs. [B]Lazy Joe[/B] Just because Parker will leave. [B]Alex Braun [/B]vs. Teddy Powell Never liked Powell, whereas Alex is a god. [B]Johnny Martin (C) [/B]vs. The Wolverine Martin retains, as he's way more skilled overall than the Wolverine.

[Sons of Kohral]

*Previous rant* Ignore this post.

[Sons of Kohral]

[B]PSW: Where it's cool to beat up your girlfriend.[/B] [CENTER][B][SIZE="5"]PSW That's What She Said January 2008 Att: 1000[/SIZE][/B] [B]Dark Matches:[/B] Ash Campbell def. Nelson Callum Tank Bradley def. Primal Rage JD Morgan is seen backstage sitting in a chair with a tea cup and saucer in his hand. All of a sudden he pauses and sniffs the air. He looks around quickly before sniffing again and then going back and angrily sipping his tea. [B]Main Show:[/B] [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/Brimstone.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/DeadBolt.jpg[/IMG] [B]Dead Bolt defeated Brimstone in 7:01 by pinfall with a Yankee Slam. (F)[/B] [I]Horrible match. I caught myself yelling obscenities at Brimstone along with the 1,000 people in attendance. Yeah, he was THAT bad.[/I] [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/DeanWaldorf.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/DeanWaldorf.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/ThimblebyLangton.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/WootonFitzpaine.jpg[/IMG] [B]The Ring Generals defeated The Good Ol' Boys in 12:08 when Dean Waldorf defeated Thimbleby Langton by pinfall with a Walforf Salad Toss. (E+)[/B] [I](Excuse the double picture, long story) I don't expect much from tag team matches, so this'll be the minimum I'll deal with. GOB played up their obvious honkey tonk loving redneck lifestyle well, and The Ring General's cold demeanor and machine like movements were a great contrast. [/I] [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/StevenParker.jpg[/IMG] (c) vs. [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/LazyJoe.jpg[/IMG] [B]Steven Parker defeated Lazy Joe in 15:51 by pinfall with a Future Shock. Steven Parker makes defence number 1 of his PSW National title. (D)[/B] [I]This isn't fair because I can't figure out if Lazy Joe is getting tired in the ring or if it's just his gimmick. Parker looked good and bloodied the hell out of Joe.[/I] [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/StevenParker.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/NicoleKiss.jpg[/IMG] After the match, Nicole Kiss hands Parker a mic, which he snatches away from her. The crowd is giving him a nice pop, but it's a mix of face and heel heat. [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: I need to tell you fans something. Something really important. Yesterday, Nicole came to me with a letter. It was something I never would hae dreamed of. Supreme Wrestling Federation has offered me a HUGE payrise, paid travel, a merchandise bonus and even guarantee me a mid card title run. And I got it, all thanks to this person right here.[/COLOR] The crowd boos as he points to Nicole Kiss. She swoons. [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: So after a lot of thinking, I've decided that I'm going to take it.[/COLOR] The crowd begins throwing debris into the ring, completely turning on Steven Parker. [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: I'm oing to take the contract, take a s***, wipe my ass with it and shove it straight down Rich Eisen's throat![/COLOR] The crowd explodes into cheers. Interesting how he went from being the most hated man in PSW to the most loved in a matter of 30 seconds. [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: I can't be bribed! I can't be bought! I'm the future! And this is P-S-F*****'-W![/COLOR] Nicole looks shocked as the crowd is seriously in a frenzy. She takes the mic. [COLOR="Red"]Nicole: But Stevie... this deal would give us a lot more money... we'd have a future, a future together...[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: Us? What the f*** are you talking about? There's no us. There's just a me and a future, and I AM that future! No shut your mouth![/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]Nicole: But-[/COLOR] Steven Parker grabs Nicole and slaps her. As she staggers back he lays her out with the Future Shock. The crowd goes wild and cheers. (C-) For the Promo [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/AlexBraun.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/TeddyPowell.jpg[/IMG] [B]Alex Braun defeated Teddy Powell in 12:40 by pinfall with a Braun Damage. (D+)[/B] [I]Decent match, given who's involved and that this is just a set up for the Main Event. Both men battled it out with a variety of weapons, cutting each other open fairly quickly. The crowd seemed to appreciate it.[/I] [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/JohnnyMartin.jpg[/IMG] (c) vs. [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a26/MatteoB/TEW/TheWolverine.jpg[/IMG] [B]Johnny Martin defeated The Wolverine in 11:39 when The Wolverine was put through a table. Johnny Martin makes defence number 1 of his PSW Championship title. (C-)[/B] [I]I was hoping for a slightly better match, but this will have to do for now. Both men looked like they were a little uncomfortable, but delivered a decent match. The finish came when Wolverine was laid across a table and Martin took a downward swing at his stomach with a baseball bat, splitting him through the table.[/I] As soon as the bell rings, Steven Parker and Teddy Powell seem to be in the ring. Powell puts an aluminum garbage can over Martin's head and Parker slams Martin with the chair. Martin crumbles in the ring. Alex Braun runs down to the ring and throws a steel chair at Powell who dodges it by diving out of the ring. Braun stands in the ring, protecting the fallen Martin while Powell and Parker inch up the ramp. (E+) [B]Show Rating: D[/B][/CENTER]

[Antithesis]

[QUOTE]Steven Parker grabs Nicole and slaps her. As she staggers back he lays her out with the Future Shock.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE]The crowd goes wild and cheers. [/QUOTE] Such nice crowds at these PSW shows...

[The Masked Orange]

After the match, Nicole Kiss hands Parker a mic, which he snatches away from her. The crowd is giving him a nice pop, but it's a mix of face and heel heat. [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: I need to tell you fans something. Something really important. Yesterday, Nicole came to me with a letter. It was something I never would hae dreamed of. Supreme Wrestling Federation has offered me a HUGE payrise, paid travel, a merchandise bonus and even guarantee me a mid card title run. And I got it, all thanks to this person right here.[/COLOR] The crowd boos as he points to Nicole Kiss. She swoons. [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: So after a lot of thinking, I've decided that I'm going to take it.[/COLOR] The crowd begins throwing debris into the ring, completely turning on Steven Parker. [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: I'm oing to take the contract, take a s***, wipe my ass with it and shove it straight down Rich Eisen's throat![/COLOR] The crowd explodes into cheers. Interesting how he went from being the most hated man in PSW to the most loved in a matter of 30 seconds. [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: I can't be bribed! I can't be bought! I'm the future! And this is P-S-F*****'-W![/COLOR] Nicole looks shocked as the crowd is seriously in a frenzy. She takes the mic. [COLOR="Red"]Nicole: But Stevie... this deal would give us a lot more money... we'd have a future, a future together...[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]Steven: Us? What the f*** are you talking about? There's no us. There's just a me and a future, and I AM that future! No shut your mouth![/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]Nicole: But-[/COLOR] Steven Parker grabs Nicole and slaps her. As she staggers back he lays her out with the Future Shock. The crowd goes wild and cheers. Gotta love that promo, next time let someone superbomb her through some tables off a ladder. Then I'll laugh at her. Ha Ha

[Sons of Kohral]

[CENTER][B]"No B**** Moment... But..."[/B] The elevator rang and I limped my way to my office. When I opened the door, Mitch was on my computer, reading something. I grumbled and hobbled over, waiting for him to stand and give me my chair. He didn't. "Hey, what do you know about 'A Walk to Remember'?" he asked, not breaking his gaze form the computer screen. I rolled my eyes. "I've never really had any." He nodded for a moment and the froze. He snapped his head towards me. "No, not a walk you remembered. It's a movie I saw last night." "OK, what's it about?" "It's about this trouble making jock who falls in love with the pastor's daughter but then she tells him that she has cancer." Silence. "So... is this your way of coming on to me?" "What? NO! I have an idea for later, but first, what did you think of the show yesterday?" I couldn't lie to him. "It sucked." He cracked a small smile. "Yeah, it did, didn't it? Oh well, listen, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. We're a hardcore promotion that caters to a minority audience. We will never appeal to mainstream fans, nor do I want to! We will never be the number one promotion. We are an alternative. DaVE went out of business, because we tried to do too much. We wanted to give SWF and TCW a run for their money, but it was impossible given our product. We wont make the same mistake twice. Our goal is first, to land a TV show and second to sign a Pay Per View deal. Once we accomplish those, I'll be happy." I understood. "Sounds good. We're like the outlaw promotion, right?" "Exactly. One more thing, do you want to do something really ****ed up?" I smiled. "Sure. What is it?" "NYCW is beating us in ratings because of one guy. Steve Flash, a great worker in his own right and their current champion. However, I happen to know for a fact that if we sign Steve to a contract, he'll give us his first priority. I want you to sign Steve and then match our show dates with those of NYCW so Steve wont be able to compete for them." "And NYCW's rating will go down while ours go up... it's devious... I LOVE IT!" We both laughed and shook hands. I would sure hate to be Derek Bradford right now...[/CENTER]