Jaded Posted February 15, 2009 Author Share Posted February 15, 2009 (OOC: As ever, all alternate pics are the work of the awesome FINisher - thanks man!) Here we go again, for the pre-PPV edition of USPW American Wrestling! We open with Sam Strong and Steve Flash in the ring, as Flash has a mic! http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/9779/steveflashfinus9.jpg SF: Howdy, y’all! I’m here as the new sheriff, and I gotta tell ya something straight away… there’s a guy who’s really got ma back up as I’ve been watching this fine federation. Danny Jillefski and Shane Sneer, you pair of hard cases sit there week in week out running your mouths of about gentlemen of the first water like James Justice and Bruce the Giant. Well, fine. This is America, and we got the right to free speech, for all that I don’t agree with ya. But Sneer… ya bring in a mudsill like Puerto Rican Power, and get him to knock guys galley west. Ya must be soaked if ya think the sheriff’s gonna stand for that! So, skedaddle, Mr Sneer – your time as commentator just done gone finished. SS: What the… DJ: Sam Strong’s nodding along, Shane-O! You just got doggone fired! SS: This is BS! SF: So I made some calls, and Danny, here’s yer new pardner… Antonio Maxi Marquez! http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/2450/champagneloverkn8.jpg C- ALICIA STRONG AND RAVEN vs TAMARA MCFLY AND CHERRY BOMB Alicia looks off her game tonight but still a long way ahead of anyone else in the match, even the champ herself. It’s fairly open, with Strong’s Strong Arm Tactic getting a clean pinfall over Cherry after about six minutes. D- Post-match, Raven dances in the ring, along with Joanne who comes out to congratulate the victorious pair. C+ DES DAVIDS vs ERIC THE BULL Next time we need a decent match, I’m just going to pull two random guys out of the crowd – they can’t be any worse than this pair! Both looking awful by their standards tonight – and neither has particularly high standards to start off with! Quarterback Sack wins a dire bout for Des Davids. E [in the back, we go to Champion’s Cheerleaders.] http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/5479/ravennightfallfin2zv4.jpg http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/6724/joannerodriguezfinhp0.jpg http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/2383/kateavatarfindb7.jpg Katie: Who’s the champ with the TV gold? All: NICKY! Joanne: Who’s the guy who’ll never grow old? All: NICKY Raven: Who’s the boy who’s good to go? All: NICKY! So why isn’t he even on this show?! NICKY WE LOVE YOU! C- [Grease Hogg and Lead Belly, the Dirty White Boyz, make their way down to the ring.] http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/1213/greasehoggfingp7.jpg http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/7862/leadbellyfindk1.jpg AMM: Whoa… look at that face paint, DJ! DJ: Don’t call me DJ, dammit! But my god… is that? AMM: It’s the Warlords paint! The Dirty White Boyz look like they’re sending a message to the Demons of Rage – who aren’t here tonight, remember – by painting their faces to look like the Demons’ biggest ever rivals, who the Demons chased out of USPW last year. [Hogg starts to speak.] GH: Guess it’s time to introduce ourselves. For those of you living under a rock for 2 years, I’m Grease Hogg, this man is Lead Belly, and we’re the goddamn Dirty White Boyz. For 18 months, we ran through the Supreme Wrestling Federation while your tag division consisted of 60 year old has beens like the Demons, 40 year old never have beens like the Towers, and guys with a mental age of 6 like the Forces. Now we’re here to beat the livin’ daylights out of anyone too dumb to move out of the way. [There are cheers from the crowd, as Captain USA Jr makes his way out to respond.] DJ: Not this idiot! [Cap Jr points at Hogg, then Belly, then himself. He makes a fist.] AMM: Ummm… Sam DID say he didn’t talk much, but this is crazy, hombre. [Cap Jr points down to the ring, then his wrist, then back to the Dirty White Boyz, who look confused.] DJ: Do the glass box, kid, it’s my favourite! GH: I take it you wanna get steamrolled, kid. But since it ain’t no fun beating you up all by yourself, got a partner? Or has everyone else got more brains than balls? [Cap shrugs, and charges at Hogg, as the referee rings the bell to start.] AMM: What the… I know Captain USA and Jim Force are already booked for tonight, Danny, but why isn’t someone coming out here to help this kid? DJ: Like Hogg said, Toni, they’re wimps! AMM: We’ll see… DJ: Hey! What the hell? My partner’s just abandoned me, dammit! He’s on the ring apron… and he makes the blind tag in! Looks like we got a tag match, and yours truly is left to commentate! D+ CAPTAIN USA JR and ANTONIO MAXI MARQUEZ vs DIRTY WHITE BOYZ Valiant effort from the two youngsters here, but the debuting pair never look like they’re really on the same page. The experienced DWBs, on the other hand, work together fluently and don’t need to use any of their trademark cheating tactics. Lead Belly puts away Capt USA Jr with the RPM Bomb. E+ DJ: What the hell was that, kid? AMM: Hey… I couldn’t let that boy get beat up two on one. DJ: Nope, thanks to you, he got beat up two on two. [Jillefski laughs, but Marquez just shrugs.] AMM: No shame losing to those guys, Danny. And I can live with myself tomorrow morning. Not that a conscience ever bothered you much, chico. [With Peter Valentine and Jumbo Jackson up next, Shane Sneer comes out alongside Jumbo. The fans boo heartily before breaking into a chorus of “You got fired!” SS: Shut up! SHUT UP! Sheriff Steve Flash is going to be hearing from my lawyers, I promise you! But before that, tomorrow night, Bruce the Giant had better watch out – because this man’s going to take him down hard and fast! [bruce lumbers out.] BTG: A few weeks ago it took three of your guys to put me down for 10 minutes, Sneer. Your corporation is a joke, and Jackson is the biggest laugh I’ve had for years. Come Stars, Stripes and Slams tomorrow, I’ll beat that idiot without breaking sweat. THE HILLBILLYS vs JUMBO JACKSON and PETER VALENTINE Stunningly, Peter Valentine carries the other three in this match to a slightly-less-awful-than-it-would-have-been-otherwise bout. I’m tempted to sack the other 3 just to make the point that when Peter Valentine is showing you up for a lack of talent as a wrestler, your career should be over, but will hold back for now. Peter gets the deserved win with a Heart Breaker over Al. E+ [Cut to a live feed from a gym, where the Demons are training.] DS: Yup, I’m back. DA: And we’re ready to kick ass. Watching tonight’s show, we saw the new look of the Dirty White Boyz. DS: Yeah. The New Warlords. [They both snort.] DA: Got news for ya, boys. We fought the Warlords for six months, and we watched the Warlords for about 20 years. Don’t like the guys… but you sure as hell have to respect what they’ve done. DS: Yeah. Nothing in common with you two. DA: Apart from we don’t like you, either. DS: Come Stars, Stripes and Slams forever, we’re gonna show you just how much. D+ CAPTAIN USA vs DANNY RUSHMORE Predictably awful. Danny gets the victory with the Atomic Boot. E+ Post match, Savage Fury attack the Captain, Jim Force making the save. C- JIM FORCE vs PUERTO RICAN POWER Force takes a few hard shots pre-match in running off Savage Fury, and he’s easy pickings for the monster here. Power steamrolls through him, making him scream an incoherent “DEFILERDOM, YOU MAY HAVE DEFEATED ME DESTRUCTICIOUSLY BUT I WILL HAVE MY RAFLACEOUS REVENGE! I QUIT” D- [backstage, Des Davids knocks and strides into Steve Flash’s office to see Flash talking to Sam Strong.] DD: Hut! Guys, I want a match tomorrow! I want Puerto Rican Power! [The pair look at each other and shrug.] Sam: Des, are you sure… DD: I’ll stand up for USPW, boss! Go on sheriff, give me the match! SF: You got it, Des… C+ JAMES JUSTICE and BRUCE THE GIANT vs GIANT REDWOOD and T-REX Note to self: Don’t put Redwood in any main events soon. He stinks up the place before jobbing to a Giant Choke Slam from Bruce. D+ Post match, the winning team celebrate. B+ We finish with a PPV preview video. C+ D+ overall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaded Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 PPV Preview from http://www.USPW.com Folks, are you all set for Stars, Stripes and Slams Forever? The first big show of the USPW 2009 season is just hours away! Here’s what you’ll get to see! Savage Fury will go up against two men they’ve attacked on several occasions, the Forces of America! While in more tag action, the legendary Demons will take on the Dirty White Boyz, or as they’re now known, the New Warlords! And the Towers of Power will defend their belts against the Hillbillies. There will be a Title Shot Scramble, as several women will take part in a match where the winner gets a shot at Cherry Bomb next month – we’re not even sure of the full lineup for this one, but Alicia Strong, Raven, Katie and Tamara McFly have all confirmed they’ll take part! Des Davids has got the match he wanted – but is he crazy for wanting it? He’ll stand up to the monster tearing through the ranks of USPW, Puerto Rican Power! And in a massive double main event, Bruce the Giant takes on Sneer Corp’s Jumbo Jackson, while James Justice defends his World title against Peter Valentine! Predictions: Forces of America vs Savage Fury Tag title match: Towers of Power vs Hillbillies Demons vs New Warlords Women’s title shot scramble Des Davids vs Puerto Rican Power Bruce the Giant vs Jumbo Jackson World title match: James Justice vs Peter Valentine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angeldelayette Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Forces of America vs Savage Fury Feel the power of the FOOOORRRCCCEEEEE! Tag title match: Towers of Power vs Hillbillies Is there any doubt? Demons vs New Warlords Setting them up for a tag title shot against the Towers Women’s title shot scramble Alicia Strong for the win in this one. Des Davids vs Puerto Rican Power Des puts up a valiant effort but the Power is just too much for him! Bruce the Giant vs Jumbo Jackson A back and forth match between two big men but Bruce comes out on top. World title match: James Justice vs Peter Valentine Justice with the win and a Bruce attack after the match? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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