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Why I Hate the McMahon-Helmsley Family: A TNA Diary


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April 2002:

 

Vince called me into his office. The night after Wrestlemania. A pretty memorable night. It marked my 3rd anniversary as a member of the booking team. It was almost the 5th anniversary of my joining the WWF. As I walked to Vince's office, I was met with stares from some of the agents. Pat, someone I have never really liked, had a smirk on his face. I enter Vince's office, and there he is sitting solemnly in his expensive leather chair.

 

Vince: Denis, nice to see you this evening.

Denis: Likewise. So you wanted to see me boss.

Vince: Yes, well, last night was a pretty good night, don't you think.

Denis: Yeah, I think the team did a pretty good job.

Vince: Sure did.

Denis: Vince, I can tell you're trying to avoid telling me something, why don't you just tell me?

Vince: Well, Pat and I have been talking. We can't justify having you around anymore. You're just not what were looking for in a writer and you are still so bitter about that little incident with Hunter from back in '99.

Denis: You mean when your daughter's boy toy broke my back with a sledgehammer "accidentally"? Yeah, I'm kinda bitter about, you know, since he took away my ability to wrestle. My ability to do what I love!

Vince: Hey now, don't you raise your voice with me. We kept you around didn't we? We gave you a chance to work for us, to be part of Creative. Your views just doesn't fly around here. Who wants to see Al Snow in a semi-main event? Edge and Christian feuding over a world title? You want us to push those ECW rejects Rhyno and Tajiri? You're lucky you convinced us to push RVD, sure the fans like him, but who really believes that he'll be champion some day?

Denis: The fans do, the fans love these guys. Al is one of the most talented guys on the roster and what have you done with him over the years? Headcheese, your daughter's ****ing brilliant plan. Rhyno? He's a beast, Vince, he's a machine. Granted he is injured right now. Edge and Christian? Those guys are the future right there. They're two of the most charismatic and entertaining guys right now.

Vince: I don't give a rat's ass what some whiny Canadian cripple has to say about future stars. We've got Hunter, the Rock will be around forever and Steve is the biggest thing in the world. Now get out of my office and expect your severance pay in the mail. Have fun at home.

 

I leave Vince's office in a rage, angry at how he just treated me. Fired me after I gave them my best. Pat is too much of a bitch to look me in the eyes as I walk past, instead staring at the floor. I decide before leaving that I would go see they boys for the last time. I enter the locker room.

 

Al: Hey man, you look pretty glum, what's up?

Denis: Vince just fired me.

 

Edge, Christian and Tajiri walk up.

 

Christian: What? He what?

Denis: He fired me. Said my vision of booking and writing just wasn't what he wanted.

Edge: That is bull****, you had some of the best ideas. Man, that is just a bunch of ****.

Denis: Well, thanks guys. Hope I'll see you guys later.

Al: No, wait a minute there. If Vince wants to fire you, he'd better fire me too.

Denis: Woah there man. You need a job, I can find some crappy job back home if I need to. WCW or ECW aren't around anymore, there's not much to do except the Indies, you don't really want to go back there, do you?

Al: It's better than being some trainer on a stupid reality TV show. I'm tired of all this hardcore stuff, I just want to have some decent matches again.

Denis: Well, it's up to you.

Edge: Man, this is crazy. I am so pissed.

Christian: Me too.

Denis: Al, just think about what you said, I'd sleep on it. Just email me sometime, okay?

 

 

The guys are seemingly torn up about everything. Tajiri didn't say anything, but he doesn't usually. He does have the best grasp of the English language. Oh well, guess I'll go home.

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2nd Week of April:

 

I've been home for a week now and I am bored. I decide to go on the internet to catch up on some news and I stumble upon this little tidbit of news that has been posted across the whole web.

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/WWF.jpg

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/AlSnow.jpghttp://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/Rhino2.jpghttp://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/Tajiri.jpg

World Wrestling Federation has come to terms on the release of Superstars Al Snow, Tajiri and Rhino as of April 11th, 2002. WWF wishes them the best in all future endeavors.

 

What the hell. Three of my best friends from the WWF are gone. This is a shock and I am beyond belief. Vince must be going nuts. Three of the most talented WWF superstars just gone. I hear a phone ring. I pick it up, and it's Al.

 

Al: Hey D. Have you heard the news yet? I got fired. Guess I didn't have to quite.

Denis: Yeah...wow. I am stunned.

Al: Don't be. Me and Tajiri purposely pissed of Vince over a house show last week in protest. Instead of fighting in our scheduled hardcore match, we put on a technical wrestling clinic for over 25 minutes. He was steaming at the end of the night. He told Tajiri that he'd drop the Cruiserweight title on Smackdown the next night and that as of Monday, we are gone. Oh well.

Denis: Interesting way of protesting. What's with Rhino being fired?

Al: Well, he was visiting backstage once he got wind of what was happening. He threw Vinny up against and a wall and smoked him in the face. Fired on the spot.

Denis: I love the guy, but what a dumb move.

Al: Oh well, **** happens. I heard Vince arguing with Jim and some other guys about more cuts. Anyways, I'm off to look for some work. I'll give you a call back later.

 

This has been quite a week. First me and then the guys are out of a job because of me. I feel terrible.

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I can't sleep. It's 4 in the morning. It's probably because I'm stressed from being unemployed and the fact that my friends have lost their jobs as well. The phone rings. Who the hell calls at 4 in the morning?

 

Denis: Hello?

Caller: Hey Double D, what's new man?

It's some guy with a southern accent. He sounds familiar, like someone I knew back in the day.

Denis: Not to be dick or anything, but who is this and why are you calling at 4 in the morning?

Caller: Double D, it's me Double J!

 

Holy ****, it's Jeff. I haven't spoken to him since '99.

 

Denis: Man, I am so sorry. I am so tired, and I've not been myself lately, how are you?

JJ: Great man, I heard the news.

DD: Yeah, Vince fired me. Said I was bitter about the incident. Also said I couldn't write or book for ****. What an ass.

JJ: Well man, I have a proposition. My dad is wanting to get back into the business with a promotion. He and I would be in charge of finances and what not and since you're free, we'd love you to be part of the team. And, as an incentive, we'd be willing to pay for something the WWF or Vince were never willing to. We want to pay for your back surgery. We want you to get back to 100% so that you can get back in the ring. How does that sound?

DD: You'd be willing to do that for me? My God Jeff, thank you.

JJ: No problem man. You're one of the few who agreed with me when that **** went down when I left. Anyways, I take it you're down with this?

DD: Absolutely.

JJ:Good, we start our first shows in May. I'll be sending you some information soon about the surgery. It's been booked and it takes place in a week. Plane tickets will be under your name at the Ottawa International Airport. I'll be seeing you in a few days.

DD: Okay. Wow.

 

Jeff hangs up and I am beyond surprised. I am employed once again. I guess that means I can probably give the boys a job.

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The flight down went smooth. Landed in Nashville and Jeff was there to pick me up.

 

JJ: Long time, no see Double D.

DD: Likewise. Man, I haven't been down here in a while.

JJ:Well, you'll be here quite a bit, this is where the headquarters are for now. We got you a nice apartment and all. However, you will be staying at my place the next two weeks. The surgery is risky, and you can't be alone too much. Are you ready for this Friday?

DD: As ready as I'll ever be.

 

---------------

 

Friday has arrived. The surgery is quite extensive. Fusing my spine together, much like what they just did to Rhino. The sledgehammer shot Hunter gave me was a shoot. he hit me as hard as he could. The bastard never liked me. The fans were growing on me fast and he couldn't handle a new worker getting a nice pop from the crowd. At Armageddon '99, he destroyed my back with 4 sledgehammer shots and a pedigree, after I was helpless. Vince, fearing I'd sue, treated me much like Droz and gave me a nice back office job. Should have taken his ass to court. Surgery is a few hours long and the recovery process, in my case will be up to two years of laborous rehab. Fun times.

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1st week of May

The surgery was successful. Lasted a grand total of 14 hours. I'm going to be in a wheelchair for a month, but afterwards, that pain in my back will be heading away. While I was in the hospital, Jeff and Jerry held a press conference announcing the formation of Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, in association with the NWA. Nice to know we have some financial backup as well as a legacy in wrestling in our pocket.

 

Today, we send out some feelers for some talent. But we do limit ourselves. Jeff and I have agreed to keep this show a little....fresh. We agreed not to hire anyone over the age of 40. I mean, we might make one exception here or there if they guy can wrestle, but we don't want Hulk Hogan or some old bag of bones who gets winded after a dropkick.

 

We've gotten into contact with a few people. Namely my good friends Al Snow, Tajiri, Rhino and some of Jeff's old WCW friends. Jeff has a few connections with people from WWA. We'll see what comes out of all of this.

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http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/TNA.jpg

 

May 6th: TNA Wrestling would like to announce the signing of several new talents. Former WWF competitors Al Snow and Yoshihiro Tajiri are the first two signings we'd like to announce. Joining these two new competitors are two great announcers: "The Professor" Mike Tenay and "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. More signings to be announced this week.

 

The first four people Jeff and I got to join. Not too shabby. Al and Taj are signed to written contracts. Dusty invested some capital into the company, so we've given him the nice little position of colour commentary as well as VP pf talent relations.

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2nd Week of May:

 

This was quite a busy weekend. Some of my stitches ripped. Extremely painful experience. Jeff and I got a few more people to sign. Quite a few highflyers. We want to build up the equivalent to our cruiserweight division. We're calling it the X-Division. Got turned down by a few people. Got in contact with Rhino and he should be good to go in the ring in approximately 4 weeks. Exciting. Hopefully I can manage to sign him, that's if he can handle coming back this soon.

--------------------------------------------------

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/TNA.jpg

 

May 8th: TNA would like to announce the signing of several independant superstars to our roster. We'll be welcoming the high-flying AJ Styles, the entertaining duo of Joey Matthews and Christian York, "The Money Making Machine" Kid Kash and "The King of the Old School" Steve Corino. Tune in Wednesday, June 5th for our first ever weekly event, live on Pay-Per-View.

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3rd Week of May:

 

Some guys on the indie scene seem to think a little too highly of themselves. Some no-name jobber asking for 900$ a show is a little much. Anyways, Jeff used his contacts to get some pretty big names to sign on. We did get turned down by a few major names. Goldberg told Jarrett during a conference call to call him when we start booking shows in front of 25,000 people every night. Guess getting pushed from the get-go and not paying your dues got to his head. Bret didn't feel like coming back to the world of wrestling just yet, but he said to give him a call back later this year. This week on RAW, they used footage of HHH bashing my spine with hammer in some montage promoting him again. Bastard.

 

-----------------------------------

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/TNA.jpg

May 13th: TNA Wrestling is proud to announce that it will be the home to the NWA World Heavyweight title. This prestigious championship has been held by all-time greats such as our very own Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair and Sting.

 

In other news, we are proud to announce the signing of several new talents to our already massively talented roster. We are proud to announce the signings of "The Straight Edge Superstar" CM Punk, "The Technical" James Gibson and "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock!

 

Don't forget to tune in June 5th for our debut event, brought to you live by NWA-TNA!

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4th Week of May:

 

One week until our first event. The first little while is gonna be a little dry for the stories and what not. We got re-introduce or introduce these guys with the fans. Gotta get some interest. We've agreed to book the tag team titles on the line the very first night, as we do have some established tag teams. Were also thinking about starting up a World Title tournament. We better get this stuff down pat before we go ahead with it. The roster we have assembled is nothing short of amazing. I absolutely love who I will be working with. Let's just hope the fans agree.

 

Amazingly, the WWF has released a few people today that I am intrigued in contacting. No names to be named here, some suspense is always good for the fans, not letting them know what's potentially on the plate.

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/TNA.jpg

 

NWA-TNA Wrestling Presents: Your Weekly Update

 

In news today, NWA-TNA has received a new financier. This figure remains unknown to us web staff, but from what we've heard, he's got quite an extreme demeanor. Tune in this Friday for our debut event featuring such great superstars as Jeff Jarrett, Ken Shamrock, Kid Kash, Steve Corino, Yoshihiro Tajiri and Al Snow.

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http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/TNA.jpg

NWA-TNA Wrestling Presents: Weekly Pay-Per-View #1

 

The pyro goes off on the stage. The show is introduced by Mike Tenay and Dusty Rhodes, thanking all the fans for being here live and for watching the event live on PPV.

 

The arena goes dark and the announcer hype the arrival of the unknown new financier for NWA-TNA

 

A shadowy figure walks out onto the unlight stage and as the lights flicker on, none other than Paul Heyman is on the stage!

 

%5Bimg%5Dhttp%3A//i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/PaulHeyman2.jpg[/img]

 

Heyman: Welcome everyone to the debut of the future of professional wrestling....Total Non-Stop Action! Yes, I am indeed the secret financier mentioned recently on the TNA website. After recently being fired from the unfriendly giant Up North, I decided that I would once again stake my claim in the world of wrestling. I am the official spokesperson of the TNA Committee. Tonight, we have our debut event right here in Huntsville, Alabama. All 5000 of you in attendance are set to see an amazing show. Tonight, we will see the first round of our tournament to crown the very first NWA-TNA Champion. Believe me, you are in for a treat with some of the very special people we have lined up for you tonight. We will also see two four man, single fall matches to determine the two men who will go at it next week for the TNA X-Division championship. And finally, tonight we will crown our innaugural tag team champions in a four team elimination match. Lets get the action rolling!!!

(Heyman intro garnered a C+ stat, while Heyman's speech got a C+ as well)

 

The crowd is livid as the show truly begins and our first two competitors come out.

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/JorgeEstrada.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/SharkBoy.jpg

Jorge Estrada vs Shark Boy

Solid match by two high flyers. Jorge takes the win in 3:44 with a Greetings From Graceland

Rating: D-

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/SteveCorino.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/SamoaJoe.jpg

Steve Corino vs Samoa Joe

Oddly enough, the weakest match of the night. Steve Corino came in accompanied by CW Anderson and Simon Diamond. Samoa Joe gets the win by DQ after he starts getting upper hand on Steve and the boys decide to interfere. Joe and Steve had some pretty good chemistry out there though.

 

Rating: D-

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/AlSnow.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/BuffBagwell.jpg

 

Al Snow vs Buff Bagwell

This is the first match of the quarter final for the TNA Title Tournament. Al Snow managed to pull a good match out of Buff. Buff wasn't all up to snuff tonight. Al wins in 6:46 with a Snow Plow.

 

Rating: C+

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/AceSteel.jpghttp://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/ColtCabana.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/JoeyMatthews.jpghttp://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/ChristianYork.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/JimmyYang2.jpghttp://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/LittleGuido.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/SimonDiamond.jpghttp://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/CWAnderson.jpg

 

NWA-TNA World Tag Team Title Match:

The VIP Section vs Matthews and York vs The Underground Associates vs The Extreme Horsemen

 

An excellent match by four great teams. The fans were really into this one. The first elimination of the night was Ace Steel by superkick from Joey Matthews. This was followed up with James Yang pinning CW Anderson with a Yang Time Moonsault. Joey Matthews and Christian York capitalized by nailing both Guido Maritato and James Yang with the Full Effect, one after the other. Matthews and York pick up the win in 17:32

 

Rating: D+

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/AlexWright.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/AirParis.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/KidKash.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/Psicosis2.jpg

 

X-Division Championship Qualify Match:Alex Wright vs Air Paris vs Kid Kash vs Psicosis

The first of our two matches to determine who will face off one on one for the TNA X-Division Championship. An extremely high-paced match reminiscent of old WCW cruiserweight matches. Psicosis picks up the win underhandedly with a roll up on Alex Wright in 9:56

 

Rating: D+

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/Sabu.jpgvs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/ReyMisterio2.jpg

Sabu vs Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is the second match in the quarterfinals of the World Title tournament. The fans were ballistic for Rey-Rey. In fact, he won in 11 minutes even with a springboard rana.

 

Rating: C+

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/JamieNoble.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/DevonStorm.jpgvs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/AJStyles2002.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/ElixSkipper.jpg

 

TNA X-Division Title Qualification Match: James Gibson vs Devon Storm vs AJ Styles vs Elix Skipper

The more technical four way for the contendership this evening. James Gibson and AJ put of a technical wrestling showcase with Elix got smoked in the head with a steel chair while attempting to plancha Devon Storm. AJ Styles picks up the win with the Styles Clash on Elix in 10:33.

 

Rating: C-

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/JeffJarrett.jpg vs http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/Tajiri.jpg

Jeff Jarrett vs Tajiri

The fans were totally into this one. Tajiri kept squeezing our of near falls and nearly had the match won until he misted the ref by accident. Jarrett hit Tajiri with the guitar and got the pinfall for the win in 10:54.

 

Rating: C+

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/KenShamrock2.jpg

 

Ken Shamrock enters the ring in the final match of the quaterfinals of the title tournament. Minutes go by and no one comes out. Shamrock tells the ref to start counting to ten as his opponent, yet unnamed, has not presented him. As the referee gets to 7, a countdown appears on the screen and the lights go dark. Our steps "The Man Beast" Rhino!

 

http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/Rhino2.jpg

 

Ken Shamrock vs Rhino

This was considered the best match of the night. Rhino and Ken Shamrock had excellent chemistry out there and the fans were livid for Rhino's first match in a several months. Rhino won with a Gore in 11:34.

 

Rating: C+

 

Overall rating: C

 

Rhino celebrates while his opponent next week Al Snow comes out and they have a staredown.

 

Overall, we're pretty satisfied with the show. Kinda disappointed with the tag team match. This will be a bumpy road, but it seems a lot better than the ****hole I was once a part of.

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http://i689.photobucket.com/albums/vv252/jesushat902/TNA.jpg

 

Thursday, June 6th: NWA-TNA would like to thank all the fans in attendance last night at the Van Buren Arena in Huntsville. The show was a great success. Several key additions to the TNA roster presented themselves last night. "The Man Beast" Rhino delivered a powerful performance after debuting unexpectedly. We will return next Wednesday, live from Tenesee. The following matches are expected in the fall out of last night.

 

Rey Mysterio vs Jeff Jarrett

Rhino vs Al Snow

AJ Styles vs Psicosis for the TNA X-Division Championship

Matthews and York defending their Tag Titles against the VIP Section(Colt Cabana and Ace Steel)

Ken Shamrock and Yoshihiro Tajiri vs Sabu and Buff Bagwell

James Gibson, Kid Kash, and Alex Wright vs Air Paris, Devon Storm and Elix Skipper with the man getting the winning pinfall earning a X-Division title shot

 

Jeff and I are kinda torn on who should go to the tournament finals. Jeff says he thinks he should go, being the owner and all, but I think he should stay away from the title at first, just to showcase the other talent.

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