The XWF the next generation of HARDCORE

[jwt13]

In 2008 a an 18 year old kid named wesley had a vesion he created the Xtreme Wrestling Federation with the idea of there not being enough hardcore wrestling around so at first he hired some of his friends they have a purpose of giveing Hardcore a whole NEW meaning

[Jaded]

Hi jwt13, always good to see a new dynasty started. That said, you might want to run it through a grammar checker before posting, as it will be easier to read - and therefore likely to get more views and replies - that way.

 

Tidied up version of your first post.

 

In 2008 an 18 year old kid named Wesley had a vision. He created the Xtreme Wrestling Federation with the idea of there not being enough hardcore wrestling around. So at first, he hired some of his friends - they have a purpose of giveing Hardcore a whole NEW meaning!

 

BTW, is this real world or C-Verse?

[jwt13]

real world thanks for the info this is my first dynasty

[jwt13]

<p>First Show XWF Blood and Broken</p><p> </p><p>

<span style="font-size:24px;">XWF Blood and Broken Bones</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#FF0000;">Welcome to XWF Blood and Broken im Ben Jorden here with my partner Junkyard Smokes.</span> </p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#0000FF;">Thanks Ben, and let me say that this is the beginning of something huge. There is no rules and tap outs this a new and imporved version of hardcore wrestling.</span> </p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#FF0000;">Thats right so lets get started</span></p>

[Rathen4]

<p>Write the show up FIRST, then post it all in one go.</p><p> </p><p>

Use full stops so that every sentence has flow and isn't one person slowly dying as they use all the air in their body.</p><p> </p><p>

Seriously.</p>

[Jaded]

<p>Looking forward to reading the first show, jwt!</p><p> </p><p> That said, I'd echo Rathen's advice above. Post the whole show up at once. Work on the grammar a bit more as well. Have quoted and tidied it up a bit, hope you don't mind.</p><p> </p><p> Are you writing your shows on a word processor? If not, it might be a good idea - that way it'll pick up most spelling/grammar stuff for you.</p><p> </p><p> Edit: I'd also suggest putting in initials, as I've done below, to make it clearer who's speaking. The different colors are a good way of doing that, but if you add the initials as well it will help if you use promos during the show.</p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="jwt13" data-cite="jwt13" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="23043" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><span style="font-size:24px;">XWF Blood and Broken Bones</span><p> </p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#FF0000;">BJ: Welcome to XWF Blood and Broken! I'm Ben Jorden, here with my partner Junkyard Smokes.</span> </p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#0000FF;">JS: Thanks Ben, and let me say that this is the beginning of something huge. There are no rules and no tap outs this is a new and improved version of hardcore wrestling.</span> </p><p> </p><p> <span style="color:#FF0000;">BJ: That's right, so let's get started!</span></p></div></blockquote>

[jwt13]

<p>Match 1 Mitch Page VS. Sexy Eddy in a Death Match</p><p>

It was an all right match with Mitch Page winning (e+)</p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#FF0000;">BJ: what a match Junkyard, and I understand you are about to go interview Balls Mahoney.</span></p><p>

<span style="color:#0000FF;">JS: That’s right</span></p><p><span style="color:#0000FF;"> </span></p><p><span style="color:#0000FF;">

JS: Balls I understand you have something to say</span>.</p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#A0522D;">BM: Yea I just want to warn Wesley, because I am coming after you tonight and I want that belt</span>.</p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#0000FF;">JS: Thank you and good luck tonight.</span></p><p>

Match 2 Brain Damage vs. Corporal Robinson in a bar room brawl </p><p>

Corporal Robinson won by Knockout and was an all right match</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>

Main Event Wesley Vs. Balls Mahoney</p><p> </p><p>

Wesley wins with a power bomb through a table and wins the XWF World Heavyweight Title (C-)</p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#0000FF;">JS: That was awesome and balls is mad as hell</span>.</p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#FF0000;"> BJ: That’s all for now tune in next week for XWF Blood and Broken Bones</span>.</p>

[Rathen4]

Well, at least you posted the whole show at once..

[Marcel Fromage]

<p>Well done for taking on board the suggestions and a) posting the show in one go, and b) using the initials as Jaded suggested.</p><p> </p><p>

Suggestions from me...</p><p> </p><p>

1. You said that this kid Wesley started up the fed - he's straight away champ. Apparently some of his friends are in it as well. Unless you're just writing this for yourself and said friends to read, you need to flesh out those guys quickly to make people care.</p><p> </p><p>

2. Consistency in your show. Ignoring the fact that it was pretty short, you also left spaces between lines sometimes and not others. You gave 2 match scores but not the 3rd and didn't give a show score. Decide first what you want to put in your show write-up and then be sure to include it. The bold/italic/font/colours/centring tools etc are your friend. Use them to make your show read and look better. Preview the post before actually submitting it so you know it looks right.</p><p> </p><p>

Best of luck!</p>

[jwt13]

<p>Hey this is Junkyard Smokes on XWF.com with the latest news in the world of XWF </p><p> </p><p>

</p><ul><li>XWF has signed a hardcore legend and will be dropping hints until he debuts <br /></li><li>Also the first drug test have came in and everyone is clean.<br /></li><li>The main event will be Balls Mahoney V. Vampiro on this weeks edition of XWF Blood and Broken Bones<br /></li></ul><p></p><p> </p><p>

For all of XWF.com staff we wish you a good and safe day and don’t forget, <strong><span style="color:#FF0000;">If you aren’t HARDCORE go the hell home.</span></strong> Junkyard Smokes signing out.</p>

[jwt13]

<p>Match Card for XWF Blood and Broken Bones Week 2</p><p> </p><p>

</p><ul><li><strong><span style="color:#FF0000;">2 Tuff Tony v. BJ Whitmer in a Thunder dome match</span></strong><br /></li><li><strong><span style="color:#FF0000;"> Insane Lane v. Corporal Robinson in a USA barbed wire match for the XWF Blood and Beer Championship</span></strong><br /></li><li><strong><span style="color:#FF0000;">Tag Team match Brain Damage and Bull Pain v. Hardcore Craig and Mitch Page</span></strong><br /></li><li><strong><span style="color:#FF0000;">#1 contender match Balls Mahoney v. Vampiro</span></strong><br /></li></ul>

[jwt13]

<p><span style="color:#FF0000;">BJ: Welcome to XWF we have a hell of a show planed tonight and a debut of a wrestler</span></p><p>

<span style="color:#0000FF;">JS: That’s right, in the main event we will see Vampiro in his XWF debut against Balls Mahoney</span></p><p>

<span style="color:#FF0000;">BJ: Lets go to the ring for the first match</span></p><p> </p><p>

<strong><span style="font-size:10px;">MATCH 1 BJ Whitmer v. 2 Tuff Tony</span></strong></p><p>

Good back and forth match with BJ Whitmer Winning with a Brass Knuckles Punch and then using the ropes for the pin. (D-)</p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#2E8B57;">Backstage we see Balls Mahoney on the phone With someone and he say</span></p><p><span style="color:#2E8B57;"> </span></p><p><span style="color:#2E8B57;">

BM: I am looking forward to having in XWF it will be just like the old ECW days again </span></p><p><span style="color:#2E8B57;">

The man on the phone says something </span></p><p><span style="color:#2E8B57;">

BM: Yea I know well this time were going straight to the top (D)</span></p><p>

<strong><strong>MATCH 2 Insane Lane v. Corporal Robinson</strong></strong></p><p> </p><p>

Corporal Robinson won the match easy wasn’t much challenge and pinned him with a Boot Camp (D)</p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#FF0000;">BJ: That’s was impressive by Corporal Robinson and he really….what I minute </span></p><p>

<span style="color:#8B0000;">Out comes Balls Mahoney, 2 Tuff Tony, and Wesley and start beating the crap out of Corporal Robinson Balls puts him in the corner and 2 Tuff Tony crushes him with a barbed wire steel chair.(C+)</span></p><p>

<strong>Match 3 Brain Damage and Bull Pain v. Hardcore Craig and Mitch Page</strong></p><p>

Match was a awkward match the fan didn’t want to see a tag match Brain Damage Pinned Mitch Page. (E+)</p><p> </p><p>

<strong>Main Event Balls Mahoney v. Vampiro </strong></p><p>

A good match with Balls Mahoney climbing the cage and grabbing the contract.(D)</p><p> </p><p>

<strong><span style="color:#FFFF00;">Wesley comes down to the ring raises Balls hand then they both beat down Vampiro then Wesley grabs a mic </span></strong></p><p> </p><p>

<span style="color:#483D8B;">W: Vampiro I want to face you in a match next week and if you survive you can face Balls and 2 Tuff Tony in a 2 on 1 match and if you win you can have a title shot, and the show goes off the air(d+)</span>Final Rating D</p>

[Nedew]

Wait, Balls Mahoney wins a #1 Contender match, and then the loser is the one who gets a chance for a title shot?

[jwt13]

Balls Mahoney 2 Tuff Tony and wesley are in a stabel called The Hardcore Gods and doesnt wont to fight wesley

[CQI13]

<p>OK, couple of things:</p><p> </p><p>

Yellow is really difficult to read.</p><p>

I do like the format, even if it could be helped considerably by a little better segment spacing.</p><p>

Can't say I'm too fond of Wesley agreeing to the title match a few weeks down the line with several IF's attached. Maybe it would have worked better to have him lay down a challenge, Vampiro beats it, and Wesley says "Not so fast, first you have to do...THIS". Could have built it up a bit better.</p>

[jwt13]

<span style="font-size:36px;"><span style="color:#FF0000;">XWF World Wide Leader of Xtreme so get hardcore or go home….Next show soon</span></span>

[jwt13]

BJ: Welcome to the new web series XWF Up Close and Personal . This is were we have one on one interviews with some of are wrestlers. This week we have former ecw champion and new XWF backstage reporter Raven.

 

BJ: How are you Raven?

 

R: I’m good

 

BJ: So what’s your thoughts on the XWF.

 

R: I glad to be part of a new up and coming company that has such a unique style like me, because I have been misunderstood since day one. People stare at me in the streets, laugh at me when they see me. But that’s ok I’m use to it and company has the same attitude that I have.

 

BJ: Why your new role, why not still wrestle?

 

R: Good question I wanted to do something new but I’m not going to say I’m done with wrestling yet.

 

BJ: How would you compare ECW to XWF?

 

R: I would say that XWF has a more outlaw no bull**** style that ECW didn’t really have and the ownership in XWF is really in to the hardcore style that applies to there fans.

 

BJ: Thanks a lot Raven and we see you soon.

[jwt13]

XWF Blood and Broken Bones week

 

JS: Welcome to XWF we have a hell of a show for you tonight.

 

BJ: Right Smokes, Vampiro V. Wesley in a non title match tonight.

 

Match 1: 2 Tuff Tony V. Insane Lane barbed wire match

A brutal bloody match that Insane Lane won with a Chair Choke out. (E)

 

Match 2: Balls Mahoney and Wifebeater V. Aaron Draven and Mitch Page

A good match, blood was every where at the end. Balls Mahoney beat Draven with a Nutcracker Suite. (E+)

 

Match 3: Wesley V. Vampiro

A good match that Wesley won when he busted Vampiro open and pinned him. (D+)

 

BJ: Well Vampiro does not get a title shot but he put on a……

 

The lights go off and a video comes on.

 

“He’s Homicidal, Suicidal, and Genocidal and next week he’ll be in XWF.”

The show goes off the air.

 

Final Rating: D-