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RIPW: The Ballad of Henry Lee


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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="TakerNGN74" data-cite="TakerNGN74" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="27878" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>lol awesome I hate Rob Terry with a passion guarenteed he is safe from being picked up by WWE.</div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Lol the E released him from dev and when they release a physical specimen like that they tend to have good reasons. Not that they do not make mistakes: Velvet, Love, Wilde.</p>
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Results are in for the poll and I would just like to thank 1PWfan, Hyde Hill, eayragt, MichiganHero, MrOnu and I would assume MLT (she did not leave a name but her response sounded like her) for voting. I will not reveal at this time who won, as they will debut not in the next show but the show after that, and their debut ties directly into a match that will be on that card. Therefore, this is more of a thank you for everyone who took the time to vote in the poll.

 

 

MrOnu I did not know that about ADB, so I am glad you pointed that out to me. I don't think that he will be getting employment here in RIPW.:D

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lol awesome I hate Rob Terry with a passion guarenteed he is safe from being picked up by WWE.

 

I think I must be the only wrestling fan in the world who likes Rob Terry (though that is mostly because he's Welsh- there just aren't enough welshmen in wrestling).

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March Mayhem

 

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=RobLMiskovsky_alt1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/RobLMiskovsky_alt1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> By Rob L. Miskovsky

 

Well RIPW fans we are going to have one fantastic show for you when we return to Lincoln, Rhode Island at the Twin River Event Center on March 27, 2010! For on that night we will be holding the tournament for the vacant RIPW Championship!

 

You fans all know the matches, but in case you forgot about them, we will be seeing Blackjack Robbins taking on Kentucky Bill in one semi-final match and in the other semi-final match; we will see Too Hot taking on Hollywood Hank! Here is what Kentucky Bill had to say about his match against Blackjack Robbins.

 

“Oh my gravy! On March 27, 2010, I’m going to have a chance to win yet another RIPW Championship. But first, I’m going to have to go through Blackjack Robbins, which will not be an easy task. Blackjack you are one of the toughest guys that I have ever faced. But I am confident that I can beat you and advance into the finals of the RIPW Championship tournament. And once in the finals I am going to try my hardest to walk out of that ring the new RIPW Champion.”

 

Well if anybody has proven in the past that they are championship material it is Kentucky Bill. And with some good old fashion guts and determination, I think this kid has a real good shot at winning the title once again!

 

Also, in a non-tournament match we will see The International Superstar Cowboy Stuart Ferdinand taking on Raphael. This match looks like it will be a good one; Stuart Ferdinand had this to say about his opponent:

 

“RIPW management must think that I am some sort of joke! First they put me in the ring with that idiot that refers to himself in the third person, then they put me in the ring with that Amish guy who is perhaps the worst wrestler in the world, now I have to face this Backstreet Boy wanna be Raphael!

 

What kind of competition is this? I am used to fighting the best of the best that the country of Japan has to offer. I come back to my home country and I have to face off with some of the crappiest wrestlers in the industry! I deserve better than this and if I do not get better competition, I am just going to have to return to Japan!”

 

You know wrestling fans; Stuart seems to threaten a return to Japan every single month. However, he has yet to follow through with it. I wonder what would really get him to return to Japan…

 

Well I hope you fans in Rhode Island come out to support our show. Because as you can see it is going to be one humdinger of a card!

 

That is it for this month so come on down to the Twin River Event Center in Lincoln, Rhode Island and witness what is sure to be another great RIPW event! The show starts at 8:00 p.m. and doors open at 7:15p.m. So come early and make sure enjoy the show!

 

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

[Faces on the left/heels on the right.]

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Too Hot vs. Hollywood Hank

 

Finals for the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Kentucky Bill or Blackjack Robbins vs. Too Hot or Hollywood Hank

 

Non-Tournament Matches:

 

Jerry Martin vs. Leftie Wilkes

 

Stuart Ferdinand vs. Raphael

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Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

[Faces on the left/heels on the right.]

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Too Hot vs. Hollywood Hank

 

Finals for the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Kentucky Bill or Blackjack Robbins vs. Too Hot or Hollywood Hank

 

Non-Tournament Matches:

 

Jerry Martin vs. Leftie Wilkes

 

Stuart Ferdinand vs. Raphael

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Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

[Faces on the left/heels on the right.]

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Too Hot vs. Hollywood Hank

 

Finals for the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Hollywood Hank

Non-Tournament Matches:

 

Jerry Martin vs. Leftie Wilkes

 

Stuart Ferdinand vs. Raphael

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Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Too Hot vs. Hollywood Hank

 

Finals for the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Kentucky Bill or Blackjack Robbins vs. Too Hot or Hollywood Hank

 

Non-Tournament Matches:

 

Jerry Martin vs. Leftie Wilkes

 

Stuart Ferdinand vs. Raphael

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Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

[Faces on the left/heels on the right.]

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

'Cause this is the one damned diary where Bill gets a push!

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Too Hot vs. Hollywood Hank

 

Too Hot does what he does best... look at the lights

 

Finals for the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Hollywood Hank

 

I prefer to see faces chasing.

 

Non-Tournament Matches:

 

Jerry Martin vs. Leftie Wilkes

 

Has this guy ever been re-rendered? 'Cause he's one of those that I don't hire purely because of his picture.

 

Stuart Ferdinand vs. Raphael

 

Booo!

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What the….!

 

Okay the third show under my watchful eye was about to begin, I was sitting in my office going over the plans for the night. Truth be told I was somewhat nervous as our previous two shows had not exactly lit the world on fire. What little coverage we received on the various internet sites was mostly negative.

 

One site said I should have stayed in Japan because my booking sucked. A tad bit harsh but who knows maybe they are right. I can often be my own harshest critic, and so when I read negative press I often believe what I read. Well enough about my neurosis it is time to tell you what happened before our third show.

 

As I said, I was sitting in my office going over what was going to happen on the card when there is a knock at my door.

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Henry Lee: Enter…

 

[RIPW Head referee, and their only referee for that matter, David poker enters the room. He is sweating profusely and he has a very nervous look on his face. Henry looks up at David and smiles.]

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Henry Lee: What can I do for you Dave?

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=DavidPoker.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/DavidPoker.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

David Poker: Ah, Hank I got some bad news for you. Sue and Heather had to be separated because they almost got into a fistfight!

 

[Henry Lee smiles and shakes his head in disappointment; this is the last thing he needs to deal with at this time. However, he has to because Professor Nero (RIPW‘s owner) never gets involved in disciplinary actions. He fears that if he does get involved in such actions he will alienate his roster. Therefore, Henry Lee has to play the role of Henry Kissinger whenever the workers have a petty grievance with each other.

 

Henry follows David through the backstage area and he is filled in on what set Heather off. It seems that Sue had accused Heather of making a sex tape with Dermott Ayres while working for the ACPW up in Canada.

 

Needless to say, this did not sit well with Heather and so Heather went after Sue. The two young women nearly came to blows. However, David Poker and Kintarō happened to be standing by were the confrontation took place and they were able to get between the two women before anything serious happened.

 

Henry walks over to Heather first who is sitting on the floor next to the Coke machine crying. Henry pauses for a moment and laughs because he is picturing Anger talking to a Coke bottle. Heather does not even look at Henry who squats down next to Heather to talk to her.]

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Henry Lee: Okay I have been informed about what has just happened and what was said. How are you feeling Heather?

 

[Heather looks over at Henry her eyes blood shot red from crying. She manages a very meek smile and says:]

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HeatherB.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HeatherB.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Heather: I’m good Mr. Lee. I… (Still sobbing) just need a little time to compose myself. What she said was very hurtful and not the truth at all. I mean Dermott and I are just really good friends and there is just no truth to what she said…

 

I, I just don’t know what I have ever said or did to her that you would make up such malicious lies about me. She is not a very nice person…

 

[Henry rubs Heather‘s shoulder for a moment and says:]

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Henry Lee: Well I am just glad that you did not do something that would cost you your job. You are in the right; therefore, I shall not reprimand you for anything. I am now going to go over and talk to her and hopefully I will find the underlying cause of why she was spreading these nasty rumors.

 

[Henry walks into the women‘s locker room and there Sue is sitting on a metal bench staring at the lockers. The minute she noticed Henry had entered the locker room she looked at him a flashed her very pretty smile.

 

Henry goes over and sits next to her on the bench and he shakes her head. She still smiles at him, hoping that if she keeps on looking sweet and innocent Henry will not inflict severe punishment on her.]

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Henry Lee: Okay you know why I am here, let us just get down to brass tacks and talk about why you would spread such a nasty rumor.

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=SueDanes_alt1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/SueDanes_alt1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Sue: Ah, cuz it’s true…

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Henry Lee: Even if it is true, why say it in the first place? I mean what purpose does it serve for you to say such a thing.

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=SueDanes_alt1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/SueDanes_alt1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Sue: I don’t know, I thought it was funny that she would make a sex tape with someone so totally gross like Dermott Ayres. I mean I know Heather has poor taste and all but I think even she could do better than Dermott. He is just so icky…so grody...I mean OMG she should have a little respect for herself...

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Henry Lee: Look, this is not junior high school! This is a business damn it and you just can’t go around spreading rumors about other people. I have enough problems to deal with like how Blackjack Robbins keeps stealing food from craft services. I do not need you creating more strife back here you got that?

 

[sue, being an expert at using her looks to get what she wants from men, pouts at Henry and nods.]

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=SueDanes_alt1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/SueDanes_alt1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Sue: I will try not to do it again…

 

[Henry looks flustered upon hearing this statement.]

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HenryLee_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Henry Lee: You will not try; you just will not do it again!

 

[Henry walks away and Sue has a sly grin on her face because she realizes that she just dodged a major bullet.]

 

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

[Faces on the left/heels on the right.]

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Too Hot vs. Hollywood Hank

 

Finals for the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Kentucky Bill or Blackjack Robbins vs. Too Hot or Hollywood Hank

 

Non-Tournament Matches:

 

Jerry Martin vs. Leftie Wilkes

 

Stuart Ferdinand vs. Raphael

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Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Too Hot vs. Hollywood Hank

 

Finals for the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Kentucky Bill or Blackjack Robbins vs. Too Hot or Hollywood Hank

 

Non-Tournament Matches:

 

Jerry Martin vs. Leftie Wilkes

 

Stuart Ferdinand vs. Raphael

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March Mayhem

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=RIPW_alt.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/RIPW_alt.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Saturday March 27, 2010

Location: Twin River Event Center, Lincoln, Rhode Island

Attendance: 66

Overall Show Rating: E-

 

[We do not start the show as normal, instead we are shown a brief video profiling the four men who are about to fight in the RIPW Championship Tournament tonight. The opening graphic of the video says four men shall enter tonight‘s tournament but only one shall be the next RIPW Champion! Who shall it be? We then see Blackjack Robbins‘ ugly mug, he is in the RIPW locker room.]

 

 

Blackjack Robbins: Tonight I will walk out of the ring as the new RIPW Champion! Aint nobody in this company that can beat me!

 

[The next person we visit is Kentucky Bill he is out in some field chopping wood with. He wipes the sweat off of his brow, looks into the camera, and says:]

 

 

Kentucky Bill: I’ve been RIPW Champion in the past, and let me tell ya something it was one of the greatest feelings in my life. Tonight I hope to repeat that feeling when I walk out of the Twin River Event Center as your new RIPW Champion!

 

[We are now brought poolside where we see Brian Cash-Man (who is wearing a Derek Jeter baseball jersey) and Hollywood Hank sitting in poolside lounge chairs. Hollywood Hank is not paying any attention to the camera, instead his entire focus is on drinking his drink with the little umbrella sticking out of it.

 

Brian Cash-Man looks into the camera with a big grin on his face and says:]

 

 

Brian Cash-Man: My name is Brian Cash-Man and I come from the greatest city in the world, New York City! And today I am sitting poolside out here in Beverly Hills, California with the MVP of my franchise Mr. Hollywood Hank.

 

In a few hours we are going to fly out to that miserable state called Rhode Island, we are going to land our private plane at TF Green Airport, and then we will hop in our limo. Upon arriving at the Twin River Event Center the man sitting next to me will take out the trash that is taking part in the tournament with him on route to becoming the champion of you pathetic little company!

 

[Hollywood Hank never once looks into the camera while Brian was talking. Finally, we see Too Hot standing in front of a sign that says Chad Brown. He is at the Chad Brown Housing Projects in Providence, Rhode Island.]

 

 

Too Hot: Word up RIPW fans! Too Hot is out here in the hood with my real peeps. These people are hard working people who have not been treated to kindly by the rest of the world. And Too Hot can relate to that, Too Hot grew up on the streets and so I know what it is like to have to claw your way up to the top. Tonight Too Hot is gonna live out a dream, because on this night Too Hot is going to capture the RIPW Championship. And if ya don’t know, now ya know.

 

Segment Rating: F+

 

[The video then fades to black, a second late; we are now in the Twin River Event Center. The arena is in complete darkness, flash bulbs go off intermittently as we hear a few fans yelling Whooooo and Yankees Suck. The multi-colored house lights come on and they start to move along the arena. The regular house lights come on and we see Rob L. Miskovsky and Mayhem Midden sitting at a table, which is on a stage. The crowd separates the stage from the ring.]

 

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Hello and welcome wrestling fans to March Mayhem 2010! We have a hum-dinger of a card for you tonight, as we are coming to you live from Lincoln, Rhode Island! I’m Rob L. Miskovsky and I am standing along side my broadcasting partner Mayhem Midden.

 

Well Mayhem, tonight is going to be a huge night as we are set to crown a new RIPW Champion before the night is through! What are your thoughts, who do you think will walk out of here as the new RIPW Champion?

 

 

Mayhem Midden: The man with the master plan will walk out of here as champion…oh yeah…dig it!

 

[Rob looks at Mayhem with a perplexed look on his face. He scratches his perfectly coifed hair and then shakes his head.]

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Ah…and just who is the man with the master plan that you think will walk out with the championship gold tonight?

 

Mayhem Midden: Hollywood Hank…dig it! The man has the money, the women, and the looks. He will make a great champion…oh yeah…dig it!

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: I am not sure what all of those attributes have to do with making someone a great champion. But you are entitled to your opinion and I respect it. Moving on what are your thoughts on our first match of the evening between Too Hot and Hollywood Hank.

 

Mayhem Midden: This will be no contest…dig it! As I said before, Hollywood Hank is my pick to win this whole entire thing…dig it! And in a few minutes he is going to teach that wanna be street thug a lesson…oh yeah…dig it!

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Well I guess we are about to find out, let us go down to the ring for our opening match…

 

 

Semi-Finals Match in the RIPW Championship Tournament:

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=OscarOzymandias.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/OscarOzymandias.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> with <a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HerbStately_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HerbStately_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=vs.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/vs.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=TooHot.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/TooHot.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Hollywood Hank with Brian Cash-Man vs. Too Hot

 

[Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys starts to blast over the arena‘s sound system as Brian Cash-Man steps out from behind the backstage curtain wearing his New York Yankee jacket. He is immediately greeted with a “Yankees Suck“ chant. A few seconds later Hollywood Hank steps out from behind the backstage curtain.

 

As they make their way down to the ring, the crowd yells out various remarks at them. When they get to where Rowdy Roger is sitting (in his typical front row seat), Hank pauses and looks at Roger. Roger chucks him the middle finger and Hank pretends like he is going to smack him but then he does not. Instead, he enter the ring and waits for Too Hot to make his entrance.]

 

[The lights go out and a spotlight shines on the backstage curtain. A moment later, Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool starts to play and out from behind the backstage curtain comes Too Hot. He is carrying a microphone in his right hand, he stands in front of the backstage curtain and begins to shout into the microphone:]

 

Too Hot: Party people in the house yell ohhhhh!

 

[The fans actually react this month by answering him with an ohhhh! Too Hot smiles and continues to walk down the aisle. A good portion of the fans began to wave their arms back and forth. When Too Hot gets half way to the ring, he yells:]

 

Too Hot: Clap your hands everybody! Everybody clap your hands! When I yell Too, you yell Hot! Too…

 

[The fans start to clap their hands and they yell hot back at Too Hot. This is quite a reception for Too Hot as only a month earlier here in Lincoln the fans hardly reacted to him. Upon entering the ring, Too Hot hands his microphone over to a ring attendant.]

 

Match: Too Hot defeated Hollywood Hank in 10:22 by pinfall with a Heat Seeking Missile.

 

Henry Lee’s Thoughts: While it would appear that Too Hot has once again captured the hearts and minds of the fans here in RIPW, when he actually gets into the ring that does not seem to be the case. This match was yet another in a long line of let downs for me here in RIPW. I understand it is hard to get motivated wrestling in front of a crowd of only sixty people. However, I have always been of the school of thought that you try and do your best work inside of the ring no matter how many people you are fighting in front of.

 

It is a same that this match was so lackluster, seeing how these two men are supposed to be considered two of the top guys in the company. The highlight of the match was the work that Brian Cash-Man did at ringside. That guy could get Mister Rogers to hate him that is just how good he is at pissing off the crowd.

 

Winner and advancing into the finals of the RIPW Championship tournament:

Too Hot

Time: 10:22

Match Rating: E

 

[instead of going back to the babbling idiots at the announcers table, we are brought to the back where Sue Danes, who has on a short yellow sundress, is standing in front of a green wall with an RIPW banner draped on it.]

 

 

Sue Danes: Wud up RIPW fans! This is your girl Sue Danes here and at this time, I would like to welcome Kentucky Bill, who has a match later on tonight against Blackjack Robbins in the RIPW Championship tournament.

 

[Kentucky Bill comes on screen still dressed in his street clothes. He gives Sue a quick look over, which causes her to blush, and he then says:]

 

 

Kentucky Bill: Oh my gravy, you are looking pretty tonight Sue.

 

[sue once again blushes and pushes her hair behind her left ear.]

 

Kentucky Bill: Sorry about that Sue where are my manners, how are you doing?

 

Sue Danes: I’m good Bill, my question for you is how do you feel about taking on Blackjack Robbins in the RIPW Championship tournament later on tonight?

 

Kentucky Bill: I’m not fretting over it. Don’t get me wrong, Blackjack Robbins is one tough and scary dude. But I have fought people just as tough and just as scary in the past. And you know what…

 

[sue shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. Kentucky Bill smiles and continues what he was saying.]

 

Kentucky Bill (continued): Well like the old saying goes the bigger, they are the harder they fall. So I plan on beating you Blackjack tonight and I plan on advancing to the finals to take on my buddy Too Hot. Cause tonight Blackjack I am going to prove once again it don’t matter how big and scary you are, all that matters is that you have the heart and the dedication to pull off a victory in that ring. Now if you will excuse me Sue I got a match to get ready for.

 

[sue smiles as Kentucky Bill leaves the interview area she then says:]

 

Sue Danes: Well that is all from here, let us go back to the ring for our next match…

 

Segment Rating: E+

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=JerryMartin.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/JerryMartin.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=vs.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/vs.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=LeftieWilkes.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/LeftieWilkes.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> with <a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HeatherB.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HeatherB.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

Jerry Martin vs. Leftie Wilkes with Heather B.

 

[Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads starts to play on the arena‘s sound system, and a few seconds later Jerry Martin steps out from behind the backstage curtain. Jerry is carrying a kendo stick in his left hand and he has his typical maniacal smile on his face as he walks down to the ring.

 

When he gets in front of Rowdy Roger, he stops for a minute and tilts his head to the side, much like Michael Myers does after he kills someone in a Halloween movie, lets out his maniacal laugh right in the face of Rowdy Roger. This actually scares Rowdy Roger a bit as he jumps back, which has the other fans who are sitting around him laughing. Finally, Jerry enters the ring and waits for his opponent.]

 

[Dirty Water by The Standells begins to play on the arena‘s sound system and the crowd goes nuts. The crowd begins to sing along with the song as Heather B. steps out from behind the backstage curtain she is wearing her number eleven Glen “Big Baby” Davis jersey on, a Boston Celtic hat, and a tight pair of jeans.

Following her shortly thereafter is her boyfriend Leftie Wilkes who is also sporting a Celtics jersey.

 

However, he decided to go retro as he is wearing a number seventeen John Havlicek jersey. The crowd goes nuts as these two walk to the ring. Finally, Heather and Leftie enter the ring and she gives him a good luck kiss on his right cheek, which causes him to smile.]

 

Match: Jerry Martin defeated Leftie Wilkes in 5:50 by pinfall with a Discus Punch.

 

Henry Lee’s Thoughts: Wow there is not much positive that I can say about this bout. It was just an absolutely wretched bout. After Leftie Wilkes’ theme song stopped, playing the crowd stopped caring. I am not sure what it is with the RIPW fans, they seem to be much more into the ring entrances than they are the actual matches themselves.

 

Granted with this match I could not blame them fans one bit. I hate to be so critical of my workers but this match was the pure and utter definition of a bathroom break. Heck, we made more money during this match at the concession and merchandise stands than we did during our intermission. I mean these two guys were blowing spots left and right, I was kind of embarrassed for them. All I know is, I am going to have to have a long talk with them after the show…

 

Winner Jerry Martin

Time: 5:50

Match Rating: F+

 

[After the match is over Heather B. is leaned over a dazed Leftie. Jerry Martin leaves the ring, goes over, and retrieves his trusty kendo stick, which he had placed on the arena floor earlier while he was waiting for his match to start. Jerry then slides underneath the bottom ring rope and charges towards Leftie.

 

Heather B. pleads with Jerry not to do anything, but he just casts her aside like a sack of potatoes. He then begins to beat Leftie with his kendo stick, smiling his maniacal smile the whole time he is hitting Leftie. Finally, he leaves the ring to get the microphone from the ring announcer.

 

He slides back inside the ring and he screams at Leftie:]

 

 

Jerry Martin: I’m hardcore! I’m har…ow….son of a…

 

[before he can finish his usual I‘m Hardcore catchphrase he himself becomes victim to an attack. His attacker is none other than Leftie’s older brother Dutch! Dutch and Jerry begin to duke it out in the center of the ring before Jerry decides that this is a fight not worth fighting and he runs out of the ring, dropping the microphone in the process.

 

Dutch Wilkes picks up the microphone and says:]

 

 

Dutch Wilkes: Hey, where are you going you little bitch? I thought you were hardcore. You aint so hardcore when you can’t attack people from behind.

 

[Jerry Martin just stands in the aisle way smiling at Dutch.]

 

Dutch Wilkes (continued): I’ll tell ya what Jerry, next month I want ya to choose a partner. I don’t care if its Madman Boone, Sean McFly, or Mario Hilario*, just show up with a tag team partner of your choice next month so me and my brother can kick your ass!

 

[Dutch drops the microphone and goes over to check on his battered brother as Jerry stands in the aisle and smiles while rubbing his hands together.]

 

Segment Rating: F

 

[We now go back to the announcer‘s table where Rob L. Miskovsky has a look of outrage on his face.]

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Jerry Martin is nothing but a despicable, deplorable, scumbag who has no right to even be competing in an RIPW ring! What we just witnessed was a heinous act of a depraved sociopath! How can RIPW officials allow this crazed lunatic too brutally and maliciously attack people show after show without any repercussions!

 

Mayhem Midden: You got to calm down Rob…dig it! Jerry is just a violent young man that feels the need to take out his aggression on the dredges of our promotion.

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: If he is that full of rage, why doesn’t he hit a punching bag? Or take up a hobby? Why does he feel the need to beat people with a kendo stick? He is just a shameful person….let us just go back to the ring for our next match…

 

 

[This Life by Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers begins to play over the arena’s sound system and out steps Stuart Ferdinand. The very moment he comes out from behind the backstage curtain, the crowd (lead by Rowdy Roger) breaks out into a Y-M-C-A chant. Stuart talks to himself as he makes his way down the aisle and enters the ring.

 

Stuart grabs the microphone from the ring announcer, pauses, looks out at the crowd and says:]

 

Stuart Ferdinand: I promised myself that tonight I was not going to allow you worthless pieces of crap get to me…and you know what? You haven’t!

 

[A new chant greets Stuart after he finishes his sentence, “Village People“ is heard throughout the arena.]

 

Stuart Ferdinand: Shut up you stupid fools! I am not a member of the Village People! I am an international superstar and if you people don’t shut the hell up…well tonight will be my last night with this company! If you people don’t shut up, I will go back to Japan where they have nothing but respect for an international superstar such as myself!

 

[Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, hey, hey, hey, goodbye is the new chant of the crowd. Stuart hands the microphone back to the ring announcer and walks over to his corner where he scowls at the crowd.]

 

[i Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys starts to play over the arena‘s sound system and the fans, who are mostly male, start to boo rather loudly.

 

Raphael has a wireless headset microphone on and he sings along with the Backstreet Boys as he makes his way down to the ring. The fans actually begin to cheer as Stuart Ferdinand (yes I can‘t believe they are cheering Stuart either) attacks Raphael in the aisle way. Stuart rips the wireless headset microphone off of Raphael’s head and tosses it to the ground. Stuart then tosses Raphael into the ring and the matches officially begins.]

 

Match: Cowboy Stuart Ferdinand defeated Raphael in 11:43 by pinfall while using the ropes for leverage.

 

Henry Lee’s Thoughts: This was a pretty decent match considering the matches that we have witnessed throughout the night. Stuart and Raphael have pretty good chemistry between them, which is very good because I was beginning to wonder if my investment in Stuart was ever going to pay off. With Stuart, I feel that I have to justify him being in this company. Because he is making a good amount of money and he is my friend.

 

I am always afraid that people will think that the only reason he is making so much money is because he is a friend of mine. Thus far, he has not done what I have hired him to do and that is elevate the younger greener workers. He has yet to make any of them look really good in the ring and that is a bit troubling. Granted, I do not envy him as some of the people that he has to work with are not the cream of the crop talent wise.

 

I must commend Raphael for taking such a good beating in this match. You can say what you want about this kid’s crappy gimmick, but one thing that you can never take away from him is his great work ethic. I do not think it is unreasonable to say that this kid will have a bright future here in RIPW.

 

Winner: Cowboy Stuart Ferdinand

Time: 11:43

Match Rating: E

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Well Stuart Ferdinand picks up yet another fantastic victory here…

 

Mayhem Midden: Oh yeah…dig it! The thing is these quote, unquote fans (he makes air quotes while saying this) are not showing the proper respect that should be given to an international superstar such as Stuart Ferdinand…dig it! This man is a legend and these fans just treat him like he is some greenhorn off of the bus from Central Falls.

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Well I have learned a long time ago, that in order to get respect you have to give it. And Cowboy Stuart Ferdinand has not been one to show it. Therefore, why should the fans give it to him?

 

Moving on, our next match is a biggie as it is the second semi-final match in the RIPW Championship tournament. In this match, we shall see Blackjack Robbins versus The Hardcore Hillbilly Kentucky Bill. What are your thoughts on this encounter? Who do you think will face Too Hot in the finals for the RIPW Championship?

 

Mayhem Midden: There is no doubt in my mind that Blackjack Robbins will prevail in this match! The man is a veteran of many, many battles and the dude is a beast…dig it! Aint no way, no how, Kentucky Bill can win tonight. In fact, Bill should have just stayed at home in the trailer park. Cuz at least if he would have stayed there, he would be safe…oh yeah…dig it!

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Well we are about to find out one way or the other as the match is about to begin. Let us go back to the ring for the introductions…

 

 

 

[Renegade by Styx starts to play over the arena‘s sound system and a few moments later Blackjack Robbins steps out from behind the backstage curtain. Upon seeing Blackjack, the crowd starts to boo rather loudly. A new chant greets Blackjack as he makes his way down to the ring, the chant of ,“ You can’t wrestle!“ is heard echoing throughout the Twin River event center. This chant does not seem to phase Blackjack one bit as he enters the ring, totally ignoring Rowdy Roger who is trying to get under Blackjack’s skin by yelling various stuff at him.]

 

[American Badass by Kid Rock starts to play and the crowd goes wild! I guess it is not difficult to see who RIPW’s number one fan favorite is (all though Too Hot is gaining fans at a rapid pace). Kentucky Bill soon steps out from behind the backstage curtain and the fans get even louder. Blackjack Robbins just stands in his corner staring at Bill with an animalistic like fury. Bill slowly makes his way down to the ring slapping the hands of the fans along the way.

 

Bill takes off his infamous Kentucky Wildcats hat and hands it to a little boy sitting in the front row. The little boy jumps up and down, happy that his favorite wrestler has given him something so cool (well I guess as cool as a sweaty hat could be). Bill finally enters the ring and stands in his corner watching Blackjack Robbins.]

 

Match: Kentucky Bill defeated Blackjack Robbins in 11:08 by pinfall.

 

Henry Lee’s Thoughts: Okay this mad was bad, maybe not as bad as the Jerry Martin/Leftie Wilkes match but it was pretty damn close. The crowd was all over Blackjack Robbins, they kept on chanting, “You can’t wrestle!” at the guy. And as much as it pains me to say this, I kind of agree with them.

 

I never like to down a fellow worker but Blackjack just straight up stinks in the ring. Now I knew that he was no Tommy Cornell when I singed him. However, I did not expect that he would be this atrocious. I have to give credit where credit is due and say that Kentucky Bill tried his hardest to get the best match possible out of Blackjack.

 

However, at the end of the day there is just so much one can do to make Blackjack look good in the ring. And Kentucky just could not get anymore out of this lifeless slug.

 

Winner and advancing into the finals of the RIPW Championship tournament:

 

Kentucky Bill

Time: 11:08

Match Rating: E-

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: It looks like we are going to have a match between Too Hot and Kentucky Bill for the vacant RIPW Championship! Now that match should be a hum-dinger of a match! Mayhem what are your thoughts on such a great match?

 

Mayhem Midden: Honestly, I could care less, which one of those two geeks walks out of here with the gold on their waist. In fact, this is the worst main event that we have had here in RIPW…

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: How could you say such a thing! These two men are two of the best in this company and they worked their butts off to get to where they are! They earned the right to fight for the RIPW Championship! You know, you should be ashamed of yourself for casting disparaging remarks against these two fantastic wrestlers!

 

Mayhem Midden: You’re being a bit over dramatic aren’t ya? Look I don’t want to see either one of these two guys with the RIPW Championship around their waist, so I don’t care which one wins.

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Well whether you like them or you don’t like them they will be vying for our championship in tonight’s main event. Let us go to the back where Sue Danes is standing by with Too Hot, take it away Sue…

 

[sue is standing by in the same area where she conducted the interview with Kentucky Bill earlier on in the show. Standing to the right of Sue is Too Hot, who has a smile on his face.]

 

 

Sue Danes: Thanks a lot Rob! Well fans right now I am standing next to Too Hot who in just a few short minutes will face-off against Kentucky Bill in the finals of the RIPW Championship tournament. Now Too Hot I know in the short time that you have been here in RIPW you have formed a close bond with Kentucky Bill. My question to you is, what is it like to have to face off against your good friend?

 

 

Too Hot: Too Hot and Kentucky Bill have nothing but mad respect for each other, true that. But friendship and respect are gonna have to take a backseat when Kentucky Bill and Too Hot step in that ring tonight. Cuz it aint everyday you get the opportunity to fight for a championship title and so yeah Too Hot and Kentucky Bill are cool…no doubt but Kentucky Bill is also standing in Too Hot’s way. And Too Hot hates to say this but tonight Too Hot is gonna have to beat Kentucky Bill like Ike did to Tina. And if ya don’t know, now ya know…

 

[Too Hot starts to walk away when all of a sudden he gets smashed in the back of the head by the giant forearm of Blackjack Robbins. Sue Danes screams and runs off camera.]

 

Sue Danes: Somebody get some help over here!

 

[blackjack pays no attention to Sue‘s cries for help. Instead, he just keeps on beating the ever-living crap out of Too Hot. Blackjack does not say a word while he continues this all out assault on Too Hot, instead he just lets out some very primal grunts. Too Hot is bleeding profusely from the head, it is at this point that Brian Cash-Man enters the interview area. Brian has a huge grin on his face and he begins to clap his hand together.]

 

 

Brian Cash-Man: That is enough Mr. Robbins, that was a job well done if I must say so myself.

 

[brian Cash-Man stands back and admires the bloody and battered Too Hot who is lay unconscious on the floor. For a moment Blackjack stand over Too Hot’s unconscious much like when Chuck Bednarik stood over Frank Gifford’s knocked out body.

 

http://www.realstuffsports.com/images/Triumph/bednarik2006.jpg

 

Blackjack slowly turns and looks at Brian with an eerie smile and puts his hand out. Brian Cash-Man goes into the pocket of his New York Yankees‘ windbreaker and pulls out a wad of cash.]

 

Brian Cash-Man: Ah yes, I suppose you want this and trust me when I say that all one thousand of it is there…

 

[He hands the wad of cash over to Blackjack Robbins who fans it out and then smiles. Brian Cash-Man smiles and says:]

 

Brian Cash-Man: And just so, you know my boss will be very happy with the help that you have given us tonight. And my boss is a very powerful man to have in your corner.

 

[blackjack Robbins walks off camera, Brian Cash-Man walks over to Too Hot and kicks him in the ribs for good measure. He then leaves the scene of the beat down as RIPW officials come to over to check out Too Hot.]

 

Segment Rating: E

 

[We now go back to the announcer‘s desk where Mayhem has a huge smile on his face and Rob looks absolutely mortified at what had just occurred.]

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: I can’t believe what we have just witnessed! What kind of human being would do that to another! Blackjack Robbins is a scumbag!

 

Mayhem Midden: See I see that beat down in a different light…dig it! Blackjack did what he had to do, he is a very opportunistic man and an opportunity arose for him to make an easy one thousand dollars. Who could blame him for taking such an opportunity? Oh yeah…dig it!

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: I for one can! What kind of man beats up another man for money? Blackjack Robbins is a low life scumbag and there is just no way around that! What he just did is a heinous act and I don’t know how he will be able to live with himself!

 

I just…wait a minute (Rob pauses for a moment and cups his ear. He must be getting information over his ear piece, he nods his head and continues to speak)…I just got word from the back that our backstage correspondent Sue Danes is standing by with RIPW Commissioner Henry Lee and they will talk about what is going to happen with our main event.

 

 

[sue is standing in Henry Lee‘s office, Henry Lee is standing to Sue’s right.]

 

 

Sue Danes (in a solemn voice): Thanks Rob, I am standing here with Henry Lee. Now Mister Lee because of what has just happened to Too Hot will we have a main event tonight?

 

[Henry Lee looks down at his feet for a moment, the turns and looks at Sue.]

 

 

Henry Lee: At this time, I do not think that it would be wise to have our main event. After all the man who rightfully fought his way into the finals was just brutally and maliciously attacked and therefore he has been rendered unable to compete in this evenings main event match for the vacant RIPW Championship.

 

I think at this time it would be best if we postpone tonight’s RIPW Championship match between Too Hot and Kentucky Bill until next month….

 

[RIPW owner Professor Nero walks on camera at a fast pace and interrupts Henry Lee.]

 

 

Professor Nero: Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is my company and nobody is postponing anything! If Too Hot is unable to compete well then that is just too damn bad! This show must go on and we must crown a new RIPW Champion tonight! I am growing sick and tired of having no champion in my company.

 

I have thought long and hard about who is the rightful number one contender who should fight in Too Hot’s stead. And after thinking it over, I have come to a decision that Hollywood Hank shall take on Kentucky Bill in tonight’s main event for the RIPW Championship!

 

[Henry Lee shakes his head in disappointment at this news.]

 

Henry Lee: So how much did Brian Cash-Man give you to make such a ruling?

 

[Professor Nero shoots Henry Lee a dirty look.]

 

Professor Nero: It is not wise to talk to your boss in such a manner there Henry. Get one thing straight you are commissioner at my leisure Henry and it would be wise not to question my motives. Now if you two shall excuse me I have a championship match that I need to watch…

 

[Professor Nero walks off and Sue Danes looks at Henry Lee to see if he has a comment about what just happened. He throws his hand up in the air and shakes his head in disappointment. He then proceeds to walk off.]

 

Sue Danes: Ah…um…back to you Rob…

 

Segment Rating: E+

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: It is a crying shame when the owner of the company was aware of the contract taken out on Too Hot and did nothing to stop it!

 

Mayhem Midden: Who says he knew anything about it? Professor Nero is a man who thinks on his feet…dig it! He needed someone to fight in the injured Too Hot’s place in tonight’s main event. What probably happened was Brian Cash-Man saw how severe the condition of Too Hot was so he offered the services of his client to compete as Too Hot’s replacement…

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: Do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth? It is painfully obvious that Brian Cash-Man paid off Blackjack Robbins to injure Too Hot so that Too Hot could not compete tonight! I am just disgusted with this whole situation…let us go to the ring for this farce of a main event…

 

 

Finals in the RIPW Championship Tournament:

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=RIPW_Championship.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/RIPW_Championship.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=KentuckyBill.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/KentuckyBill.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=vs.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/vs.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=OscarOzymandias.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/OscarOzymandias.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> with <a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=HerbStately_jhdBHK.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/HerbStately_jhdBHK.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

 

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Hollywood Hank with Brian Cash-Man

 

[Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys starts to blast over the arena‘s sound system as Brian Cash-Man steps out from behind the backstage curtain wearing his New York Yankee jacket. The crowd is boos the ever-living hell out of him for his previous actions. A few seconds later Hollywood Hank steps out from behind the backstage curtain. A chant of “We want Too Hot!” is heard throughout the arena.

 

While making their way down the aisle and towards the ring both Brian and Hank are nailed with various forms of trash that the fans are hurling in their direction. When they get inside the ring, Hollywood Hank grabs the microphone from the ring announcer and says:]

 

Hollywood Hank: You pitiful, peons can want Too Hot but sadly, he is not going to show up as he is on his way to the hospital! Oh well one mans misfortune is another mans luck…

 

[before he can say anything else, American Badass by Kid Rock starts to play and the crowd goes wild! This time a hatless Kentucky Bill comes out from behind the backstage curtain with a look on determination on his face. He does slap the fans hands but his eyes are fixated on Hollywood Hank as he makes his way into the ring.]

 

[before the start of the match RIPW Head referee David Poker walks over to the center of the ring. He then holds up his right arm as the ring announcer (who is standing behind him) holds the microphone up to David‘s mouth. David motions for both fighters to join him in the center of the ring. Both men comply and David says the following:]

 

 

David Poker: Okay gentlemen this match is for the RIPW Championship, I expect a good clean fight. Any questions?

 

Both fighters shake their heads no, as they keep their opponent’s stare.

 

David Poker: Okay then shake hands and return to your respective corners.

 

[Neither men shake hands as there is just too much hatred between them. Instead, they both return to their respective corners and wait for the bell to ring.]

 

Match: Hollywood Hank defeated Kentucky Bill in 12:49 by pinfall, illegally using the ropes for leverage. Hollywood Hank wins the RIPW Championship title.

 

Henry Lee’s Thoughts: Okay so before this show Mycroft, Rob and myself debated on who to put the championship on. It was between Too Hot, Kentucky Bill and Hollywood Hank. Rob was pushing hard for Bill because Bill sells the most merchandise.

 

I countered that it should be Hollywood Hank because he is our most nationally exposed wrestler on the roster, having wrestled in USPW before joining us. Plus, I was more in favor of a heel holding the title so that we could have a fan favorite have a quest for the gold.

 

Rob continued to push for Bill to win the title and he was not backing down. Therefore, I brought up the point that if we were going to put the title on a baby face it should be Too Hot because Kentucky Bill does not need the title because he is already established with our fan base. Finally, Nero agreed with me and it was decided that Hollywood Hank would be our new RIPW Champion.

 

Now onto my thoughts on the actual match. I thought both men did a great job in this match, the crowd was actually very much into this match and they so wanted to see Kentucky Bill walk out of there with the gold. Which is why it was a great move to give the title to Hollywood Hank. Sure, it left a bitter taste in the mouth of the fans. However, if and when Kentucky Bill overthrows Hollywood Hank for the gold it will be so much better.

 

Winner and new RIPW Champion: Hollywood Hank

Time: 12:49

Match Rating: E

 

Rob L. Miskovsky: This is truly a sad day here in RIPW, when a treacherous piece of garbage like Hollywood Hank can be crowned our new champion. This was a great show that was sadly marred by events that led to Hollywood Hank being crowned champion…

 

Well wrestling fans, I hoped you all enjoyed the show tonight, make sure to join us next month for Collision Course, which will be our next show! For my broadcast partner Mayhem Midden, I’m Rob L. Miskovsky wishing you all a good night!

 

[The show ends with David Poker holding Hollywood Hank‘s left arm up and Professor Nero putting the RIPW Championship on the waist of the newly crowned champion. Brian Cash-Man stand in the background and claps while the fans pelt the new champion with garbage.]

 

occ: * For anybody wondering who the hell Mario Hilario is, he is a reporter for the local NBC affiliate here in Rhode Island. I had to use his name because it always stood out to me as being such a fake sounding name.
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Once again I would just like to thank everyone that has taken the time to predict and post in this diary.

 

So this show's pick contest is weird because you could have been wrong win the semi-finals matches but still picked the correct winner in the finals match.

 

Anyway here are this show's standings:

 

TakerNGN74 3/5

Jingo 3/5

moon_lit_tears 3/5

eayragt 3/5

Hyde Hill 1/5

 

Well we have a four-way tie for first place this month. Therefore, TakerNGN74, Jingo, moon_lit_tears, and eayragt, can ask any worker on the current RIWP roster (With the exception of Too Hot because the dude has to sell his injury.) any question that they would like. If you are interested just PM me the question that you would liked asked.

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Roll Call of Champions:

 

 

 

 

 

occ: I thought now that I have an actual champion, it was time to put this up. I will also update the roster list as the promotions champion is not even on the official roster list yet. Also, if the title history graphic annoys people I will take it out. I just wanted to try something new.
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Sue Danes: Wud up RIPW fans! It’s your girl Sue Danes here and it is that time of the month again, you know when I interview an RIPW superstar! My guest this month is none other than the newly crowned RIPW Champion Hollywood Hank. Come on in champ…

 

[The champion walks on screen with his newly won championship belt on his left shoulder. He has a very arrogant grin on his face. This interview was clearly being conducted after the show as Hollywood Hank was already dressed, wearing a black sports coat, a white shirt, and a pair of blue jeans.]

 

Sue Danes: Well I guess congratulations are in order for you championship win. All though you did not win it in the most honest way…

 

[Hollywood Hank, who is wearing sunglasses, pushes his sunglasses down and peers over them at Sue. He then shakes his head and says:]

 

 

Hollywood Hank: There was nothing wrong with the way I won the RIPW Championship. I beat the dumb hick fair and square in the center of the ring…

 

Sue Danes: Ah…no dude you did not. First off your manager paid Blackjack Robbins to take Too Hot out of the tournament, then he paid off Professor Nero to get you into the main event, and then you put your feet on the bottom ropes to win the title, so as you can see you che…

 

[Hank puts his finger up to Sue‘s lips and she looks at him like a deer caught in headlights.]

 

Hollywood Hank: Look the old saying goes, “If you are not cheating, then you are not trying”, well unlike the pitiful peons that patronize this promotion, I am a god among men. I have no reason to cheat, because of my greatness I won the RIPW championship. And nobody, not you, not Kentucky Bill, or the mongrels that we call fans, can take that away from me!

 

Sue Danes: Whatever dude, I guess now would be the time to ask the question of the month from RIPW.com. This month’s question comes from TakerNGN74 from Minnesota! He question for you is, “With this win by Hollywood Hank, I would like to ask you what it felt like to become the RIPW Champion.”

 

[Hollywood Hank pauses for a moment and strokes his chin. Now one would think that this might mean that Hank was going to give a heartfelt answer. Well if you thought that you would be wrong.]

 

Hollywood Hank: That is a really insulting question TakerNGN74! Why would you think that I give two craps about winning the title in this little piss ant promotion? This belt right here (he pats the RIPW Championship title that is resting on his left shoulder), means absolutely nothing to me.

 

Let me give all you pitiful peons an analogy, me winning this championship right here (pats the belt once again) would be akin to the great Derek Jeter winning a Governor’s Cup! What I mean is this is the minor leagues, I was once in the big leagues and now I am down here slumming it. Do you think Derek Jeter would cherish a championship won in the minor leagues?

 

[He shoots a look at Sue and she just shrugs her shoulders.]

 

Hollywood Hank: Of course he wouldn’t! Do you want to know why? Because he along with myself are MVP’s! We are the crème de la crème of our respective sports so of course we are going to excel down here in the minor leagues where we are leaps and bounds better than any talent you can find down here.

 

[Hollywood Hank looks at his watch and shakes his head.]

 

Hollywood Hank: Honey, I’m going to have to cut this interview short because my Learjet is scheduled to take off in a half an hour. I got to get back to the left coast, because I gotta go to the mansion, Hef is throwing a huge part and it would not be the same without me.

 

[Hollywood Hank walks off screen and Sue just rolls her eyes and smirks at the massive tool that is Hollywood Hank.]

 

Sue Danes: Well that is all for this month, I hope you tune in next month when I interview my next superstar of the month. Until then, I hope you all have a kick ass month! See you all laters!

 

[sue blows a kiss at the camera and walks off camera.]

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March Mayhem has just finished and once again, I can’t say that I am very pleased about how the show went down. It just seems to me that the wrestlers are just doing this for a paycheck and are not even trying to entertain our crowds. Granted I understand that it is very hard giving it your all when you are only wrestling in front of a crowd of sixty-six people but come on these people paid good money to see you perform. The least that my wrestlers can do is give them a good show.

 

I had to be a bit harsh to Jerry Martin and Leftie Wilkes because of that crapfest they had in the ring. I told them both that I understood that they were both green. However, that is just not a good enough excuse for them to put on such a horrible match. Both men were very sorry and I could see that they did not enjoy this talk but it had to be done. My hope is that they will put on a decent match next month when they meet again in a tag team match.

 

Onto the matter of Blackjack Robbins, now Blackjack has never been known to be a great worker. A fact that was made obvious because until I hired him he was not getting regular work since SCCW closed down eight years ago! I hired him because he did have limited exposure through SCCW and he came at a cheap price.

 

However, I must say that I am beginning to rethink this hiring. First, he stinks in the ring. I know it, the other wrestlers know it, the fans know it, heck even he knows it! Secondly, he is a terror in the back. The guy loves to do stupid things not only to the other wrestlers but to the staff as well.

 

His new thing is he hangs out at the craft services table when he is not in the ring or doing an angle. Anyway, he takes plates upon plates of food from craft services and brings them out to his car! I had to explain to him for doing this because it is stealing and it is hurting the bottom line of the company. He just laughed and said he was hungry and that the food is there to eat so he is going to eat it. Man he is starting to tick me off…

 

Many people questioned us putting the title on Hollywood Hank. I read on one website where they called me an idiot for not putting the title on Too Hot. Saying I should be making stars instead of giving the title to a wash up never was from the USPW. I guess that could be a valid point, but at the end of the day we wanted our champion to be a heel and there are only two heels in our promotion that could possibly hold the title and there was no way in hell Blackjack Robbins was going to get that title. Therefore, through process of elimination Hollywood Hank has the belt.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Collision Course

 

 

<a href="http://s969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/?action=view&current=RobLMiskovsky_alt1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i969.photobucket.com/albums/ae173/BHK1978/RIPW/RobLMiskovsky_alt1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> By Rob L. Miskovsky

 

 

Well RIPW fans we are going to have one fantastic show for you when we return to Lincoln, Rhode Island at the Twin River Event Center on April 17, 2010! The event is going to be called Collision Course and we have a stacked card for you fans!

 

On this night, we shall see the Wilkes Brothers taking on Jerry Martin and a partner of his choosing. Rumors have been abound as to who the future Hardcore Icon, and folks that is the nickname he gave himself, will choose to have as his partner. I caught up with Jerry to ask him who this mystery partner might be:

 

“Listen…do you want to know a secret…do you promise not to tell…closer let me whisper in your ear…I’m Hardcore, I’m Hardcore, I’m Hardcore! Wilkes Brothers you are two of the dumbest people walking on the planet today. Because you dare to challenge the Future Hardcore Icon. People have been asking me who my tag team partner is going to be…and truth be told, I am not sure. You will just have to wait and see…ha…ha…ha…”

 

I guess someone forgot to take his medication this morning it would seem. I also caught up to Leftie Wilkes the victim of Jerry Martin’s brutal attack last month, here is what Jerry had to say about upcoming tag team match against Jerry Martin and the mystery partner:

 

“Jerry, dude I aint sure what cha problem is with me. All I know is last month you made a fatal mistake when you attacked me after our match. Because you not only pissed off me but you pissed off my older brother. And that was a huge no-no. So me and my brother don’t care who you mystery tag team partner is it could be Pope Benedict, Governor Carcieri, heck it could even be Vinny Pazienza! It don’t matter one bit because we are going to kick both your asses!”

 

Well it sounds like Leftie is a little pissed off about that attack last month; he must be to invoke the name of Vinny Paz. Also in action will be the newly crowned RIPW Champion Hollywood Hank. The new champ had this to say about his match at Collision Course:

 

“You pitiful peons should be happy that I have agreed to defend this worthless trinket that you call the RIPW Championship at Collision Course. Despite the fact that this promotion is beneath a man of my stature, I shall show up because I am a fighting champion and I will defend this…thing…against any and all comers.”

 

I don’t know whom that low life thinks he is making disparaging remarks against our championship and our great company. Hopefully he will get what is coming to him at Collision Course.

 

Well I hope you fans in Rhode Island come out to support our show. Because as you can see it is going to be one humdinger of a card!

 

That is it for this month so come on down to the Twin River Event Center in Lincoln, Rhode Island and witness what is sure to be another great RIPW event! The show starts at 8:00 p.m. and doors open at 7:15p.m. So come early and make sure enjoy the show!

 

 

 

[Faces on the left/heels on the right.]

 

Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

The Wilkes Brothers vs. Jerry Martin & ????

 

Raphael vs. Sky King

 

Running Bear vs. Cowboy Stuart Ferdinand

 

Brimstone vs. RIPW Champion: Hollywood Hank

 

 

occ: Just wanted to say that this diary is not over with. Like I said way back on the first page I do not want to get burned out with this diary like I did with my NYCW one, so this will not be updated every week like that one was. Sorry if this turns people off from reading this.

 

Also, for those of you who do not know who Governor Carcieri and Vinny Pazienza are I shall tell you now. Governor Carcieri is the governor of my state which is Rhode Island.

 

Vinny Paz is a local boxing legend who had some National fame back in the 1980's. The people of Rhode Island love this guy and if you were to ask them, I would say half of the state would claim to be related to him.:D I personally do not like the guy because I find him to be very arrogant. Case in point, he owes the state of Rhode Island something like $250,000 in back taxes. He refuses to pay said taxes and says he does not owe that much. He then proceeded to say that if anything the state owes him for all he has done for the state. See what I mean about arrogance?

 

Finally, I know I have already had the Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins match two time before (:eek:). However, there is a reason why it is going to happen for a third time. Plus, this is a small promotion so I have a limited amount of match-ups from which to draw from.

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Kentucky Bill vs. Blackjack Robbins

 

'Cause it's Bill's favourtie diary.

 

The Wilkes Brothers vs. Jerry Martin & ????

 

'Cause ??? beats either of the Wilkes brothers any day of the week

 

Raphael vs. Sky King

 

'Cause I hate Raphael almost as much as you hate Savage Jobbers

 

Running Bear vs. Cowboy Stuart Ferdinand

 

'Cause the guys a legend

 

Brimstone vs. RIPW Champion: Hollywood Hank

 

'Cause you want someone with just a little bit of talent with your title

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