SWF: Now with added chunks

August 4, 2010

Put me in for an order of Vengance tough poopy pants please.

tristram · August 4, 2010

The Secret Agent Bumfhole: Obviously those who know the CV well will know who the Secret Agent Bumfhole is, but the question I have is, how do you rate her importance and do you think it helps the Bumfholes progress out?

Well, she's Jessie's little sister, so it immediately makes for some interesting possible storylines. She's relatively unnknown to mainstream audiences in the C-verse, so she wouldn't come in with name value in that sense. The Bumfholes are not a team I necessariliy think need a manager, as they can talk well enough. But it does add a new dimension to them, especially as a heel team.

The main event: I tossed and turned over how to write that one as I wanted to keep Vengeance's momentum high, without obviously crippling the Champions. The question I have is, do you think Vengeance's monster-heel look is hurt by a convoluted overbooked loss like that?

Even monster heels have to lose sometimes. Doing something like that protects him better than simply taking a straight loss. Unless you are trying to present Vengenace as unbeatable, then it works. I would usually have Gilmore take the loss there to protect Vengeance, but I am guessing there is a specific reason you had Vengenace get pinned.

Thanks for that feedback mate, very interesting to hear your thoughts of course being the SWF Guru.

Put me in for an order of Vengance tough poopy pants please.

I already had them on back-order for you mate, I knew you'd be after a pair

BoomKing · August 4, 2010

Put me in for an order of Vengance tough poopy pants please.

I already had them on back-order for you mate, I knew you'd be after a pair

Do those things come in a 38 waist?

tristram · August 4, 2010

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John 'Squeeky' McClean v 'Dark Destroyer' Steve Frehley

Did you know: Steve Frehley's grand-father was part of the Selma march to Montgomery.

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SWF World Tag Team Championships

Jack Geidroyc and Valiant w/ Dawn the Cheerleader and Hannah © v The Amazing Bumfholes w/ Secret Agent Bumfhole

Did you know: Zimmy Bumfhole once ate 31 hot dogs in one sitting at college, winning the Hot-Dog-Contest. He still lists this on his resume`.

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Jungle Lord v 'Platinum' James Prudence

Did you know: James Prudence once refused free tickets to a New York Islanders-New York Rangers derby because he was afraid the cool air coming off the ice may interfere with his hair product.

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Remo v 'Smooth' Roger Cage

Did you know: Roger Cage actually lives on Wisteria Lane. He doesn't however have several late-middle aged hucks living next door who are glorified by a thousand tons of make-up. He does though have a neighbour who is a genuine red-head. Roger believes she was a child actoress from Children of the Corn. OUTLANNNDDEEEEERR!

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Vengeance v 'The Living Legend' Christian Faith

Did you know: We told you that Christian Faith is so old-skool that he is featured in an MS-Dos game that is driven by joystick. Also, Christian featured on the first series of SWF Yo-Yos. You've got to keep the faith when you walk the dog, yo.

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SWF World Heavyweight Championship

'Lone Wolf' Rich Money v 'The Masterdon of Sexiness' Joe Sexy

Did you know: Ana Garcia spoke candidly on twitter during the week about her feelings for Joe Sexy. Joe, who is a bit uncooth with computers and does not understand twitter at all, was the butt of jokes backstage. No one came out and said it, but he was slightly unnerved by the chants of Ana Casanova.

Quick Picks

Squeeky McClean v Steve Frehley

SWF World Tag Team Championships: Jack Geidroyc and Valiant © v The Amazing Bumfholes

Jungle Lord v James Prudence

Remo v Roger Cage

Vengeance v Christian Faith

SWF World Heavyweight Championship: Rich Money © v Joe Sexy

Jingo · August 4, 2010

Did you know: James Prudence once refused free tickets to a New York Islanders-New York Rangers derby because he was afraid the cool air coming off the ice may interfere with his hair product.

^Love this, made me chuckle.

Squeeky McClean v Steve Frehley

SWF World Tag Team Championships: Jack Geidroyc and Valiant © v The Amazing Bumfholes

Jungle Lord v James Prudence

Remo v Roger Cage

Vengeance v Christian Faith

Struggled with this ... But my heart says keep the Faith!!

SWF World Heavyweight Championship: Rich Money © v Joe Sexy

Zergon · August 4, 2010

Squeeky McClean v Steve Frehley

Squeeky haven´t done anythink important so far so I doubt he goes over Frehley

SWF World Tag Team Championships: Jack Geidroyc and Valiant © v The Amazing Bumfholes

I don´t see change happening yet though I expect this feud to continue further

Jungle Lord v James Prudence

Prudence and his crusading buddies have had upper hand so far so maybe it´s time for them to take a loss against the odd guys

Remo v Roger Cage

Cage isn´t yet big enough name to go over Remo

Vengeance v Christian Faith

This could go either way but since you said you wanted to keep Vengeance´s momentum high I think he will take victory here though it likely isn´t clean

SWF World Heavyweight Championship: Rich Money © v Joe Sexy

Nope, Sexy isn´t the next cham

tristram · August 4, 2010

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By SWF.com chief editor, I.T Pennywise

Over the past 28 years, Supreme Wrestling Federation has seen a plethora of different managers. Many of them great, some of them forgettable, but none have been as beautiful and intellectual as our guest for this very special interview. The Corporate Supremacists, led by Eric Eisen under the guise of his father Richard Eisen, have been locked in a crusade to promote whom they believe are the most marketable talents in the promotion at any cost. Their siege mentality to wrestling traditions being kicked to the curbside in favour of hoped higher shareholder returns has led to many career assassinations. And in the midst of all this furore is the luxurious Emma Chase. She is best known as the manager of SWF North American Champion 'Big Cat' Brandon James, but make no mistakes about it, Emma is right in the thick of things when it comes to the politically corrupt motives of the Corporate Supremacists. People often have a tendency to mistake beauty for charm, but hidden under this visual angel is the cruelest flick of the finger known to man, as we found out in this exclusive interview.

The scene was the Plaza Hotel, overlooking Central Park in New York City. Emma was in town between Supreme TV shows to sign a lucrative sponsorship deal for the promotion. As one of executives of the company who signed the contract stated, "Emma's presence and her beauty forced our rates up by 10%". This is one of Emma's favourite getaways. She can't stand being in the midwest for shows, she knows she is no southern-belle, she is a corporate city slicker who loves to patrol the likes of Tiffany's for self-adoring gifts that match her sparkle. For all this though, ever since Emma came to prominence with Supreme Wrestling Federation she has refused to ride the subway or take a public taxi. As one of the most marketable commodities in the world of professional wrestling Emma refuses to denigrate her standing by being with the common people. She affords us an understanding of this phenomena while she suggestively lifts her long left leg to cross it over her braced right leg. We desperately want to look, but know deep down that for the brief nirvana moment it may provide it could also provide a lifetime of career sabotage by the ultimate career assassin.

"Because if you had hit the heights I had hit, why would you want to go back?" she says candidly. "I never understood the whole Superman philosophy. You know, happy to have extra powers above normal mankind, but then also happy to slum around writing with the common folk. The truth of the matter is, once you get into a position like mine you don't relinquish it. It may be high society to you, but that is my everyday existence. And I deserve it. God says I deserve it, otherwise, why would he give me my outrageous beauty, and why would he have pushed DaVE out of business and give me a way out of my contract to sign an even more lucrative one with Richard Eisen? It's fate, but it's also karma in the essence that I'm such a good person at doing what I'm good at, being beautiful and effective, that karma brought me an even more fabulous lifestyle."

She takes another sip of the white wine sitting in front of her. My eyes bounce needlessly to the luxuriant bed behind her. I can see her eyes looking back at me with disdain. She thinks I am thinking of the dream of bedding her, when all I am doing is staring at a bed that looks heavenly compared to the wooden and concrete slabs I am used to lying on, certainly not sleeping on. She is dressed in a white body tight dress showing her accentuated curves, but her eyes are telling me that there is a non sexual line in the sand, albeit for a fee, and that it would be in my best interests to not even go there without significant capital backing.

"This old thing? $4,000, imported from Paris," she states matter of fact when quizzed about her dress. Secretly the question was more to give me some sort right to stare at her gorgeous figure by asking a question about the dress that forbids me from looking any further. "Last year I also acquired about $200,000 worth of dresses and jewelery from various photo shoots. You see, in between my Supreme Wrestling Federation gig I am extremely marketable for some of the top chic fashion designers. It's a great lifestyle, I fit right in. In some ways, I almost let those girls cat-fight amongst themselves for them to believe in their heart of hearts that they are better than me. Deep down, we all know they aren't."

With such a great lifestyle outside of the wrestling world, one must ask the question as to why she doesn't choose the path of some of Hollywood's best C list talents, and give up the doghouse that gave her her big start.

"One day I may well do that," she chuckles. "But it must be said that I really enjoy messing with guys heads. I see 10 to 20,000 people in the audience, every week, mostly men, sometimes there with their freakish looking female companions, and they look me up and down. Their eyes are like laser beams. They're trying to see the real Emma Chase. But they never will. The art of giving yourself to a certain degree, enticing further but then never availing is one that appeals to me. You can look, but you can't touch. Also, I have a very tight friendship with a couple of the guys who understand that we are simply better people than them, Brandon James included. Brandon often gets typecast as being stale away from the weapons, but he's actually a really funny guy. And like most of the guys I like, he's no spendthrift. He appreciates and rewards me for my great work at ringside and at the negotiating table. This is part of what appeals to me so much with the Corporate Supremacists. Eric and Richard have a vision, an unparalleled vision of what professional wrestling should be. It should be glamorous like me, it should be very much the A-title of Hollywood, and he wants to create that environment. The others who were not lucky enough to be hand-picked by Richard resent that, and they go out night after night telling the moronic fans that they're here to do justice ya ya ya ya, but justice is creating something better, the right to pursue liberty, is it not? And yet they want to deny our right to pursue liberty and revolutionise wrestling? It's very hypocritical. But what would I know, I'm just a ditzy blond, right?"

Wrong. The truth of the matter is while Emma always wanted to be a part of professional wrestling, that she also understands strategic marketing extremely well. She has risen from being a beautiful manager to being somewhat of a consultant to the Executive Committee. In the past year, Emma has assisted in changing the colors and decorations in the arena and particularly at ringside to jazz up it's appearance on the telecasts. She also assists in promoting the SWF Divas brand, including marketing of a new kinky line of costumes.

"You should see the Jessie one," she laughs. "She is such a nerd. But even I would be attracted to what we concocted for her. It's a bit naughty you know, but I really enjoy that. You see, I'm a bit more complex then I am given credit for. I don't just sign contracts for Brandon, I'm just a bit of T & A for the sick freaks to perv at, I'm a successful corporate strategist and I enjoy changing the landscape of professional wrestling for the better. It shouldn't come as any shock, I feel I owe Richard Eisen a lot given the punt he took on me, and also, I know that every successful executive decision I participate in, at the end of the day I'm improving my personal stocks including my own merchandise sales and appearance fees, which further assists me in living this lifestyle."

But life hasn't always been easy for Emma. She tries to peer her head painfully to the right away from Central Park, past the upper-east side, up north to the Bronx and down south-east to Brooklyn, even spending six months with her aunt in Queens. Emma's upbringing was difficult.

"I maintain that my life began at 10," she says. "My father suddenly inherited a large trust fund, and my life really started. Finally we were out of a shabby apartment in the Bronx and getting our own apartment on the upper-west side of Manhattan. My dad was then able to afford for me to go to exclusive drama and dance schools. I always wanted to be either in theater on Broadway or... yep, professional wrestling. I really got into Sam Strong. Here was a strong, domineering figure who controlled his own destiny. I didn't want to go back to the Bronx, I didn't want to have my fate out of my own hands. Daddy allowed me to get the training I needed, and obviously I had my natural beauty, but I wanted to be fabulous like Sam. And it really hit me hard that I wouldn't have had that opportunity if my father didn't inherit that money, and what I gained from that was the importance of money. They say that money can't but you love, but it sure as hell can lead you to every other temptation."

We delve further into her private life. But away from the torment of her early childhood to her current life. There is much innuendo and speculation about her private life, most desperately cling onto the hope that she is single, while others speculate as to her love interests.

"Yeah, it's true," she says blushing. "I have a real charmer. And by charmer, I mean someone who isn't like the typical unemployed bums who show up at our show. I can say he doesn't work for Supreme Wrestling Federation, but that in his profession he is an absolute sensation. One day maybe... one day."

One day what exactly? Before we had a chance to pursue that further, there was a knock on the door. It was her private butler letting her know that the thirty minutes we had paid for was up, and so was any chance to pursue this further.

Emma Chase. Complicated. Beautiful. Intellectual. Determined. Manipulative. Coercive. Strategically minded. Single-minded. There's a lot more than meets the eye with this outrageously gorgeous super-manager.

totti · August 5, 2010

The Secret Agent Bumfhole: I didn't know anything about a secret Bumfhole, but if it is Jesse's sister then it will make things very interesting and give you a few good possibilities of where to take things. I look forward to it.

The main event: Yeah I agree with BP that I would have expected Gilmore to take the pin, but I think Vengeance heel status and credibility is still intact.

Squeeky McClean v Steve Frehley

Frehley is the man. Future North American Champion right there.

SWF World Tag Team Championships: Jack Geidroyc and Valiant © v The Amazing Bumfholes

Agree with Zergon, no change yet, but maybe in a pay per view rematch.

Jungle Lord v James Prudence

If you just brought Prudence in at the start of the diary then I don't think he'll be hugely over. A loss won't hurt him at all and if the match is good will probably add to his overness anyway.

Remo v Roger Cage

Get back some momentum after a loss last week. I suspect this one will be rather easy for him.

Vengeance v Christian Faith

Difficult, extremely difficult. I think that Vengeance might attack Faith one more time which might just take it's toll and allow him to get a win, or maybe Marat will get involved.

SWF World Heavyweight Championship: Rich Money © v Joe Sexy

Not when Money/Eisen is being billed for the PPV.

August 5, 2010

Why do I feel so dirty now ready that Emma article? Where are my poopy pants at? Glad you made the transition to the CVERSE and continue your writings for our amusement. I thank you, now as far as the supremist are concerned, I will boycott this show if you push them any harder. I want to throw a brick through my laptops screen every time I see them. So please for my sake stop it.<img alt="

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tristram · August 6, 2010

Why do I feel so dirty now ready that Emma article? Where are my poopy pants at? Glad you made the transition to the CVERSE and continue your writings for our amusement. I thank you, now as far as the supremist are concerned, I will boycott this show if you push them any harder. I want to throw a brick through my laptops screen every time I see them. So please for my sake stop it.

I will job them for money?

tristram · August 10, 2010

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type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="25" width="27"></object>

Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California

Attendance: 10,000

Your commentators:

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Peter Michaels, Jerry Eisen and Duane Fry

SWF Supreme TV Episode #: 8

Episode Title: In which nothing worth getting is ever easy

=======================

We fade into a packed out Arrowhead Pond arena, to a group of raucous fans at ringside who are being entertained by the SWF Girls, who are performing a very raunchy dance which features much steel chair straddling.

Peter Michaels: We are just days away from one of the most important Pay-Per-Views of 2010, one you cannot afford to miss, it's the aptly named Nothing to Lose, because that's exactly the situation Eric Eisen finds himself in as he goes up for a shot at the SWF World Heavyweight Championship against Rich Money. Hello everybody, I'm Peter Michaels, and with me at ringside as always for SWF Supreme TV here from the amusement park capital of the world Anaheim, California is Duane Fry and Jerry Eisen. And guys, what a line up we have in store for the fans at Nothing to Lose. Not only will Rich Money defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Eric Eisen, but the following matches have been announced by the WCW Executive Committee; Vengeance and Marat Khoklov will team against Christian Faith and Jack Bruce; the World Tag Team Championships go on the line as Jack Geidroyc and Valiant defend against the Amazing Bumfholes; Joe Sexy who will be in action here tonight we understand, will be taking on Lobster Warrior; plus Remo will be in action, and Jungle Lord will take on James Prudence.

Duane Fry: It promises to be an epic spectacular Peter, and to be honest I'm not sure if the Nevada State Armoury, with it's 30,000 seat capacity can confine the hardcore bedlem we are surely going to experience at Nothing to Lose. I have to tell you, I'm extremely excited by the tag team match between Marat Khoklov and Vengeance, against Christian Faith and Jack Bruce. Peter, you're looking at four men who at any time could be SWF World Heavyweight Champion, that's the caliber the match we are looking at right there.

Jerry Eisen: Finally... FINALLY... we will be witnessing the end of Christian Faith, oh boy, I can't wait!

Peter Michaels: But let's not forget about tonight. We will find out about the North American Championship and it's defence tonight, also, there is the very real possibility that Jack Geidroyc and Valiant will not walk into Nothing to Lose as the World Tag Team Champions, as they have a defence against the Amazing Bumfholes.

Duane Fry: Also Christian Faith will go one on one with the Ungodly Warrior, Vengeance. This promises to be one of the most epic battles we have laid eyes upon on Supreme TV.

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The entire Corporate Supremacists stable follows their leader, Eric Eisen, the number one contender to the World Heavyweight Championship down the ramp, to the ring. They are very condescending to the crowd, and Brandon James is in particular very testy with one young male fan who makes slightly inappropriate flirts with his manager, Emma Chase. Once in the ring, Emma Chase assumes the position... err, that is to take the microphone.

Emma Chase: Many ... stables... over-grow to the point that they lose all direction, all focus, all strategic effectiveness. And there has been a criticism leveled at this establishment that we are over-grown. But I can assure you, each and every member you see standing behind me tonight is here for a reason. We have the future World Heavyweight Champion Eric Eisen, we have the Russian Sambo Bear, the master of DaVE type hardcore violence in Brandon James the reigning and undisputed North American Champion, the best up and coming talent in professional sports bar none in Marc Du Bois, and we have Mr Consistency himself, the go-to man, John Squeeky McClean. And it's all masterminded by the Chief Executive himself Richard Eisen, and yours truly, Emma Chase. At any given time this organisation of uber-talents can change tact and cause horrific talents to those that choose to stand in their way. Fortunately, we know for a fact that the rebellion resistance to this empire, this calvalcade of greatness will soon come to an end. You see, it all starts and ends with the SWF World Heavyweight Championship, and come this Saturday Night at the Nevada State Armoury at Nothing to Lose, this very man behind me will hold aloft the championship, and the balance of power will rip open the iron curtain and leave us with an impenetrable position to achieve our mission.

Our mission statement is simple, it's precise, it's driven, it ticks every box a good strategic mission statement should. The Corporate Supremacists Empire will change the way professional wrestling is made. You see, Richard Eisen didn't necessarily look for the biggest, baddest bunch of muthas to walk the planet, he got that by coincidence. What he assembled was the most marketable magnate of wrestling talent at any time, in any era. He attracted the might of the former Soviet Republics by investing in their star wrestler, allowing this promotion to become a sensation in the various Soviet Republics. He attracted the pride of the DaVE resistance in myself and Brandon. He attracted a strategic mastermind in Eric Eisen, a second generation professional wrestling legacy. He attracted the mind to keep it altogether in Squeeky McClean. And he attracted Canada's finest export, Marc Du Bois. He attempted to maximise profits for his shareholders, the Eisen Family Trust. And yet, you despicable human beings who sit around in the empire that Richard built dare sit there and challenge his authority to do so! And worse still, those who dare accept the cheques that he signs dare to defy his right to achieve strategic domination.

And that is why the war is the way it is. As one great soul once said, there are many men who see things as they are and ask why, Richard Eisen sees things as they are not and asks why not? And so begins a great revolution, and it reaches it's turning point, it's boiling point, the point where the mission statement becomes a realistic strategic jig-saw piece when this man... Eric Eisen, becomes your next World Heavyweight Champion.

Emma claps her hands, before handing the microphone to Eric Eisen. He pauses for a second or two, seemingly breathing in the air around him as the audience erupts into a chorus of boos.

Eric Eisen: I don't blame you. I don't blame you. Many people around the world have denied the rights of proactive revolutions. I stand here in front of you and I know the petty resistance that Nelson Mandela suffered. I know the petty resistance that Richard Nixon must have felt, a man who was able to end the coldest of all the wars and yet who is remembered for the methods he undertook to see his world through to a better place. But unlike Richard Nixon, there is no diplomatic recourse, no democratic process for any of you vile pigs in the crowd to do anything about it.

For as I live and breathe, this war is fought in the confines of the squared circle. And it's fought for the great balancing power, the greatest, most coveted possession of all professional sports. The SWF World Heavyweight Championship. And as Emma rightly said, come Saturday Night the balance of power shifts .. and it shifts dramatically. Sometimes power can only be achieved by decisive action, somewhat autocratically, and come Nothing to Lose, the balance of power turns from a true democracy to a centrally planned totalitarian authority in my father, Richard Eisen. Yes, you sit there, and you boo, but my father is the man who built this empire, and your dissidence means nothing. NOTHING! NOTHING!

As much as we hate democracy, the so called Championship Committee has made and blunder-filled decision.

He starts clapping cynically, before raising the microphone as Emma continues the clap.

Eric Eisen: I applaud them for their cynicism. I applaud them for their ineffectiveness. I applaud them for their chronic mismanagement. For tonight, they potentially have blood on their hands. Hey... don't blame me, blame yourselves and the democratic processes you believe in in your elected Championship Committee. For tonight, they place Steve Frehley potentially at the mercy of the DaVE Extremist, Big Cat Brandon. You see Brandon, I may be feeding Steve Frehley's corpse to you. For you see, the Championship Committee has decided that should Steve Frehley defeat Squeeky tonight, he will get a shot at you at Nothing to Lose. It's murder. It's suicide. It's his blood on their hands. I've tried warning you of the corruption of democracy, and here you have a clinical example of one's man entire livelihood being destroyed before his very eyes. In many ways, he will be praying for Squeeky to take the win tonight to save his hide.

One last thing, Corporate Supremacists unite!

...

Malevolent Manipulation!

Brandon James: Hardcore hammerins..!

Emma Chase: Brains and beauty...!

Marat Khoklov: How you say Soviet Solidarity...!

Squeeky McClean: Clinical consistency...!

Remo: Punishment...!

Marc Du Bois: Youth Uprising...!

Eric Eisen: By your powers combined, I am Captain Supremacist! And together, our powers will ensure that at Nothing to Lose, I will become not only Captain Supremacist, but your Corporate World Heavyweight Champion! And when that is achieved, all power...

...

Will be ours!

Peter Michaels: Finally, some clarity on the North American Championship! After the break, do not go away because former World Heavyweight Champion Steve Frehley will take on Squeeky McClean for a shot at Brandon James' SWF North American Championship!

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John 'Squeeky' McClean v 'Dark Destroyer' Steve Frehley

This is a spotty affair - not spotty as in high flying, but spotty as in lacking rhythm. Steve Frehley's power house moves didn't seem to link well with the classic heel-face interlude, and the only thing that made up for it was Squeeky's goodish selling. This undermined a lot of the good work being undertaken in the ring. Also some of the basics were a bit loose which resulted in a suplex from Frehley that resulted in Squeeky coming free from the hold too early and nearly causing an injury.

Squeeky gained a short comeback when he was able to use his superior agility to move Steve around the ring with a barrage of snappy moves off the irish whip. He then followed that up by raking Frehley viciously across the eyes and smugly grinning to the crowd who were far from impressed.

Squeeky went back to the well once too often however, and he sent Frehley across the ring once more, but Frehley came back with a stunningly powerful clothesline. The crowd cheered as Frehley implored them to offer him some luv, but before he could really take advantage of the situation...

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Big Cat Brandon hit the apron and slammed Frehley across the back with a vicious chair shot. The referee immediately called for the bell, as Brandon James continued to slam the chair into the right ankle of Frehley.

After a prolonged attack, security finally got in between Frehley and James, as the crowd booed viciously.

Result: Your winner by Disqualification at 5:49, Steve Frehley

Grade: C

Peter Michaels: Has that really resolved the situation over the North American Championship?

Duane Fry: Well he did win, didn't he?

Jerry Eisen: I don't think that warrants a championship shot Duane, trust me, the Supremacists will think of something.

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The crowd pops, as we look backstage and see the SWF World Heavyweight Champion, 'The Lone Wolf' Rich Money walk into his dressing room in his armani suit. He lays the SWF World Heavyweight Championship down on a leather recliner in front of his locker with a smile, adoringly looking at the gracious old title.

Rich Money: The balance of power... I like that. It means it must sit with Supreme Wrestling Federation as it stands...

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All of a sudden, the SWF backstage interviewer Ana Garcia trudges into his dressing room, armed with her trusty microphone. Rich smiles, as she shakes his hand.

Rich Money: It sure is good to see you here tonight, Ana.

Ana Garcia: Why, thank you very much Rich. You know, I was thinking, I was thin..

Rich Money: About the balance of power? About the only thing finer than the green print of the green back? The Supreme Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Championship?

Ana Garcia: Well ye..

Rich Money: Or were you thinking about the one you believe is the true wrestling casanova?

She begins to blush.

Rich Money: It's okay Ana. We all have our vices. I have mine. The World Heavyweight Championship and my immense wealth. The heart wants what the heart wants, and I hope you don't take it too badly tonight Ana, for tonight, I issue a challenge. You see, I can sit back and pretend that my role as the World Heavyweight Champion does not come with responsibilities. But it does. Oh how it does. Wearing this belt charges me with an accountability to help those less fortunate than I in deceptive warfare. And so, tonight I come here to Anaheim, California..

He pauses with his smile widening as the crowd pops cheaply.

Rich Money: To issue a direct response to the C.I.E. And in particular, their leader, Joe Sexy. Joe, you and I go back a long way. We have been up and down the road many many times before. But I honestly didn't see this coming from you. YOU... YOU! YOU! The man who claimed only a month or two ago to be the everyman of the world of professional wrestling. And yet here you are finding fault with men of great humility and fervor. Joe, don't you see it? THEY are just like YOU! You say they hide behind a mask, but you hide behind deceit and lies. You say they don't see it, but as I live and breathe and I stand here talking to you, Ana Garcia, Joe Sexy, you don't see it. You don't see what the world is offering you, man. Speaking of offers...

...

...

Tonight...

...

Here in Anaheim, California, to insure I have your acceptance of my challenge, I am putting forward the World.... Heavyweight... Championship.

Sweeter than money, finer than wealth. The World Heavyweight Championship. The true balance of power. Even ole Eric himself said so.

Money winks as Ana looks slightly, as per usual, confused.

Peter Michaels: Did he just do what I thought he did?

Jerry Eisen: Yes he did Peter, he winked at Joe's gal. How cynical!

Peter Michaels: No, I mean, he has just granted one of the premier brawlers in the world of professional wrestling a shot at his World Heavyweight Championship!

Duane Fry: I'm sure the enemies of C.I.E can't wait for Rich Money to wipe the smile off Joe Sexy's dial.

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SWF World Tag Team Championships
Jack Geidroyc and Valiant w/ Dawn the Cheerleader and Hannah © v The Amazing Bumfholes w/ Secret Agent Bumfhole

This was your stock standard face v heel tag match. Nothing too flashy, neither side really wanted to give away all the tricks of the trade before the high profile pay off match at Nothing to Lose, which, as we've discussed means for some there is everything to lose, including Geidroyc and Valiant who in particular seemed to be wrestling within themselves. They seemed willing to give just enough hints to the fans as to what type of class they could expect at Nothing to Lose, without sustaining the major momentum shifts that are synonomous with highlight-reel Bumfhole matches.

The main dynamic of the match really showed how much of a chance the Bumfholes have. They seemed to be wearing down Valiant quite easily. And he was selling quite well for the quick snappy impact moves of the Bumfholes. They kept working him back into their corner, and Randy was apt at distracting the referee to allow Secret Agent Bumfhole to grab Valiant by the hair and pull him cheaply back into the corner. Of course, being scragged around by the hair is no fun, but this elicited a brief moment of excitement as Dawn the Cheerleader and Hannah got physical, getting into a physical altercation with Secret Agent Bumfhole.

All four men responded to the melee outside the ring, and the altercation became extremely heated. Finally it turned physical, and we found Valiant and Randy Bumfhole in the aisle of the crowd at ringside brawling away. Being the legal men, they had left their posts, and the referee had no alternative but to call for the bell. Before things could get too out of hand, Anaheim's finest, who were enforcing protection of the crowd, separated the two men, keeping them at arms length. Meanwhile, within the ring area, Zimmy Bumfhole went for a missile drop kick, but before he could deliver, Dawn the Cheerleader got up on the apron and hit a crippling low blow, forcing Zimmy to slump over the padded turnbuckle much to the enjoyment of the crowd.

Result: Match declared a draw due to a double count out at 7:18. And STILL SWF World Tag Team Champions, Jack Geidroyc and Valiant

Grade: B-

Peter Michaels: How will they separate these two teams at Nothing to Lose? Despite the Bumfholes domination, despite their tawdry tactics, I'm not sure Jack Geidroyc and Valiant know how to surrender!

Jerry Eisen: It promises to be war, Peter, I can't wait! Particularly with these puppies bouncing around at ringside!

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Meanwhile, backstage, Eric Eisen has his hand on his forehead, as he stressfully continues on a phone conversation.

Eric Eisen: But... look... I do understand but... Oh come on!... Damn it, I'm Eric Eisen...

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Meanwhile, the ultra-sexy Emma Chase walks into his office, flicking her hair back seductively.

Eric Eisen: I.. I'll call you back.

Eisen slams the phone down.

Eric Eisen: DAMN YOU MAGIC TALKING DEVICE! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Emma Chase: Whoa whoa, what's the matter?

Eric Eisen: That was the Executive Championship Committee. Not only does Brandon James now have to defend the North American Championship at Nothing to Lose, but now he has to do it in a three way...

Emma Chase: Three-ways can be good, Eric.

Eric blushes, as Emma sits on the edge of the table in front of Eric, Eric for his part cannot take his eyes off her abundant chest.

Eric Eisen: I don't disagree, but not in this case Emma. You see, at Nothing to Lose, Brandon James has to defend the title against Steve Frehley and Squeeky McClean.

Emma Chase: GReat, two against one?

Eric Eisen: Yes, but Squeeky is the glue that holds the Supremacists together, Emma. Wha.. Wha.. What if he gets greedy? What if he decides to... take a chance?

Eisen slams his fist on the table in frustration.

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Jungle Lord v 'Platinum' James Prudence

This match is a special preview of a repeat match scheduled for Nothing to Lose. This one is a rather quick match, but the consistency and very solid basics of James Prudence coupled with the star quality of Jungle Lord brings this match to life. The non-shoed Jungle Lord swiftly uses a series of swift kicks, slaps and the like to bring the crowd to life.

But James Prudence won't be curtailed, and he responds vibrantly with a succession of steepling suplexes and quick snap suplexes bringing Jungle Lord down. Prudence has that condescending smug look, as he flicks back his golden hair, showing off to the crowd much to their dissatisfaction.

This interlude gives Jungle Lord the chance to take Prudence down with an inside cradle..

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Prudence rolls through, and has his boots on the rope...

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3!

Of all the dirty, low down cheap ways to get a win!

Result: Your winner at 6:31, James Prudence

Grade: B-

Peter Michaels: Of all the dirty, low down, cheap ways to get a win!

Jerry Eisen: A win is a win, isn't it?

Duane Fry: You are so naive Jerry.

Jerry Eisen: Don't call me nai... nai... Don't call me whatever it was you just called me, I don't like it!

Peter Michaels: You can see the look on Jungle Lord's face, that's the look of revenge, and I'm sure he'll try his hardest to get it at Nothing to Lose.

Jerry Eisen: If he already has the look he wants, why is he going after it again at Nothing to Lose?

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Remo v 'Smooth' Roger Cage

The methodical power of Remo. The pure savagery. If there is a more pure striker in professional wrestling, I'm yet to see him. Roger Cage sagely circled the ring attempting to stop the violent Remo from detaching him limb from limb as long as he could, but the calculating monster would not relinquish his blood thirsty craze and when the two men locked up, Remo unloaded a brutal gorilla press slam delivered with consummate ease.

Remo continued on his merry way with a calvacade of explosive impact moves, leaving Roger Cage gasping for breath. Roger attempted to get out of the ring to regain his sense of composure, but like a cat taming a mouse, Remo merely allowed him to get close to freedom before pulling him back in for more punishment.

Roger finally came up with some offence, when he was able to dodge a ramming shoulder block by Remo in the corner. With Remo tangled up, Roger was able to turn him around and drop him with a great drop kick. Remo stumbled back and fell over the top rope to the floor. Roger climbed the turnbuckle, and fell with a flying double ax handle onto Remo. Roger slowly got up, and pulled Remo up. But Remo would have none of it, and he threw Roger into the steel guardrail. Remo asked if Roger would quit, Roger said never, and then flipped him the bird. Remo suddenly went nuts, whipping the hell out of Roger's chest.

Remo then went and collected a steel chair from the time keeper, as Roger was prone, inter-tanged in the steel guardrail. The danger was evident, as if Roger moved, a member of the crowd was going to wear it. So security raced down, and blocked the two men, as did the referee. Remo would have none of it and instead cracked the steel chair over the head of the security leader.

Remo picked Cage up and threw him over the top rope back into the ring. Remo slowly stalked his way back in, and proceeded to try for an elbow drop, but Cage moved. Cage got up and hit a snap leg drop on Remo for a quick two count. Remo thrust Cage off, and then proceeded to whip Cage into the corner. The referee went to check on the dazed Cage, leaving Remo with the opportunity to undo the opposite turnbuckle pad. Remo then whipped Cage into the pad, headfirst. Cage stumbled back, and Remo took the opportunity to use an inside cradle. Cage tried to kick out, but the bloodied, frenzied Cage could not, and Remo collected the win.

Result: Your winner at 6:55, Remo

Grade: B-

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As Remo had his hand held aloft, a dazed and groggy, and bloodied Roger Cage got to his feet. He called for a microphone. With deep panty, and pain evident across his face, Cage addressed the bohemoth.

Roger Cage: Is.. Is .. Is that all you've got? Huh? Is that what you have to resort to? Huh?

Remo stood over Cage, who would not be intimidated.

Roger Cage: I'm not scared of you you son of a [beep]. Go on, destroy me. Do it! Come on! Huh? I'm standing right here! You're a coward Remo, you should be strong enough like the lone wolf Rich Money to be the World Heayweight Champion, but instead you stand here as a coward covering himself with the ways of the Corporate Supremacists. You know Remo, when I came here the last thing I wanted to do was to take on Remo. I knew your reputation, I knew how powerful you are. But you are nothing but a bit[beep].

Remo goes to lariat Cage, but he ducks, Cage then turns around and hits a standing side kick to Remo, causing the monster to tumble over the top rope to the floor. Remo looks up angrily, but Cage again flips him the bird.

Roger Cage: You think you're going to take my career right here, right now, do ya? Well, come on, I've got just one question for ya. Are you feeling lucky? Well do ya, punk?

Remo clutches at his jaw, and seethes as Cage stands in the middle of the ring.

Roger Cage: I'm not here for fun Remo, I'm not here for an easy ride, Remo. I'm here for the truth. And you can't handle the truth, Remo. You CAN'T handle the TRUTH! So truth or consequences Remo, at Nothing to Lose. I want a rematch. And what's more, I'm going to hand your [beep] to you!

Remo nods gamely, agreeing to the challenge, as the crowd pops.

Peter Michaels: That wasn't smooth. That wasn't smooth at all.

Duane Fry: I genuinely fear for his life, Peter. He may be making a massive rookie mistake here in trying to take on perhaps the biggest and baddest of them all.

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Backstage, Christian Faith is taping up his knees with an extensive roll of bandaging. It is clear the Living Legend is fighting years of torment, but he is one who is not prepared to let his legacy end. He grimmaces as he pulls one last bandage over.

Christian Faith: This is what my life has become.

He picks up a paper cup of water, and guzzles two or three quick sips to try and quench the thirst that comes with the tremendous pain.

Christian Faith: It was never easy...

It was always hard....

But nothing in life worth receiving is meant to be done with ease. I tell myself that every morning as I look into the mirror and see the years of torment and misery that flood through my memories. But all the years of torment and misery can never compare to the euphoric joy of the four times I have been blessed to hold aloft the World Heavyweight Championship. A Championship that Rich Money has worked so hard for at this moment. A Championship that has forced Jack Bruce to dig deeper and deeper to find some new layer to his glittering wrestling style to overcome the growing odds and adversity. A Championship that made Micky Starr a household name not just because of the fact he held it for so long, but because of the enormous legacy he left behind in terms of his work ethic and his pride in the gold.

.... And none of the great Champions ever had it easy. Every cut into your soul hurts. But the first cut is the deepest. The first moment you find out when you reach Supreme Wrestling Federation that you aren't invincible like the world around you led you to believe. But through all the torment and misery the great ascend like phoenix's from the ashes. And they begin a true revolution. For only a champion can be a revolutionary warrior. It can't be achieved by money or politics, just arising to the top of this grueling and taxing industry.

.... None of us had it easy. And that's the lesson that Rich Money has learned. It's a lesson that I feel will take Eric Eisen a long time to learn. And it is one that is still not learned by Marat Khoklov. My arch nemesis. But despite his rampages, despite his urges, despite his conquests, he is yet to conquer the biggest prize of them all.

...Because it was never meant to be easy. Not even for a monster like Marat. Not even for a veteran warrior like myself. Not even for the ultimate show-man Jack Bruce. Not even for the Ungodly Warrior Vengeance.

Tonight won't be easy. Beating Vengeance will not be easy....

...But nothing worth achieving ever is!

Christian Faith whinces once more as he raises himself to his feet, taking one last deep breath before walking to the light at the end of the dressing room into the hell of the brimstone and fire of Vengeance.

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Vengeance v 'The Living Legend' Christian Faith

Picture it. You are standing across the ring from the Ungodly Warrior. The man with such a morbid state of mind that one almost cringes at the sight of his blood sucking eyes. He is a man not of scripture, but he can easily seal your fate. He is the ultimate demon, the ultimate goliath.

But nothing was ever meant to be easy.

And so it proved. As the two men locked up, the vigil powerhouse was ever so swift in disposing of Christian Faith by picking him up and dropping his hammered ribs straight across his knees. He then stomped on Faith's ribcage, before planting an elbow into the sternum.

But nothing was ever meant to be easy.

This continued for the next two to three minutes as the satanic warlord of the damned continued to assault the ribcage and lungs of Christian Faith. A man who cannot breathe cannot breathe life into his desperate and listless challenge into the depths of adversity. And so the tactic continued, with some horrific, savage reverse knife edge chops winding the gallant veteran.

But nothing was ever meant to be easy.

"Come on!" Faith seemed to be wanting to dare Vengeance to continue the torment. He whipped the ribcage once more. "Come on!" Faith shouted as he tried to find breath. And again Vengeance whipped him. "Come on you son of a [bEEP]!"

Christian Faith asked for no mercy and none was given.

He prided himself on being able to take more punishment than practically any other human being walking the face of the planet. Vengeance sent him hurtling across the ring to the opposite corner of the ring, with Faith's lungs almost tearing apart in agony as they struggled to take in enough oxygen to support his lifely functions. Vengeance came charging in with a ramrod shoulder, straight into the ribs. This was awesome. This was cruel.

Christian Faith asked for no mercy and none was given.

And finally, out of nowhere, Christian Faith, and is his wont to do as a great warrior of the sport of professional wrestling gained a second wind. He grabbed Vengeance by the mask and slung him into the corner, and hit his own savage reverse edge slap to the chest. Vengeance stomped his feet in misery, as Faith climbed aboard and the crowd began the count as he mounted in the punches.

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Vengeance stumbled and fell to the mat.

Christian Faith is the pariah of his own fate.

Faith fell to his knees and viced his hands around the throat of Vengeance, choking the demonic ungodly warrior. But Vengeance with his enormous physical power thrust Faith off with ease, and immediately sat up.

Vengeance ran at Faith who ducked a clothesline, and then proceeded to turn and snap a quick release german suplex.

Christian Faith is the pariah of his own fate.

Self doubt eroded in the mind of Faith. The pain turned to adrenalin. This was his moment. Up arose Vengeance. Faith dared him to come at him. Vengeance did, and Faith ducked another lariat. He turned around... STALLING ATOMIC DROP!

Christian Faith is the pariah of his own fate.

Faith signalled to the crowd, but...

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Marat Khoklov raced to the ring with his Corporate Sickle, and hit the gold weapon into the forehead of Faith. The blood flowed from his scalp. The blood trickled. It then poured. It then flowed. It was like watching an avalanche. Khoklov stood above Faith smiling. Faith's eyes were glazed, as the referee called for the bell.

Result: Your winner by Disqualification at 11:09, Christian Faith

Grade: B+

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Marat stood over the prone corpse of Faith. He smiled. He seemed to enjoy the torture he had put the Living Legend through. The crowd booed, as the cynical nature of the attack seemed to cost the crowd a chance to see an epic ending between the Ungodly Warrior and the Living Legend.

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Vengeance moved slowly towards the fallen corpse, and held his big right hand up in the air, ready to clamp it around the throat of Christian Faith. Oh no... Oh my... Is he going to end Christian Faith right here? Fo' real?

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Hell no you don't! Because here comes Mr Hollywood, Jack Bruce. The glimmer and the glam raced to the ring, with the crowd going nuts. Vengeance and Marat quickly escaped to the back edge of the ring, and eventually out, cowardly refusing to take on Jack Bruce who came to his great friend's aid at the most important time.

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SWF World Heavyweight Championship
'Lone Wolf' Rich Money v 'The Masterdon of Sexiness' Joe Sexy

This match was always going to struggle to live up to Vengeance-Faith. A Pay-Per-View caliber match on prime-time rather than pay-time can somewhat negate the smoke of a typical World Heavyweight Championship fight. But still, none the less it was a decent title defence. You have the leader of C.I.E Joe Sexy against the newly crowned Champion. Anything could happen. And anything almost did. Early in the bout Rich Money survived a succession of quick, deceptive, cheap roll ups from Joe Sexy, each time placing his feet on the ropes for extra leverage, but each time the valiant Rich Money turning Joe away from the well.

It was clear Rich Money had developed already into a fine champion. His ability to defy any assault from his opponents renders him as the right man to hold aloft the gold. But Joe Sexy has grown as a wrestler these past twelve months. He has become a powerful brawler, and now a cynical harborer of warmongers who want to end the innocent lives of those creative few. He is very clear about his mission, and he knows holding aloft the gold at the end of the night will go a long, long way to achieving the ultimate desired strategy. There is a school of thought that C.E.I itself is ultimately a cover to provide Joe Sexy with the back-up forces to help him eventually achieve that long held dream of being the Champion. Of being the man. Of being number one. Of being the go-to guy. Of being Mr SWF.

Joe's brawling coupled with his cynical bending of the rules had the crowd up in droves booing him viciously. It seemed that the referee was blind to many of his cheap tactics. The crowd however, was not. Perhaps the referee should take a seat in the crowd instead of standing in the ring because God only knows why the crowd sees more than the man whose paid to see the infringements.

Finally, with Rich on the mat, Joe Sexy went to rake his eyes, but Rich caught his hands and twisted them into a test of mercy. Joe dropped to his knees, begging off as Rich continued to twist back the fingers. The crowd roared, but then Joe got free and went for a low blow, but again, Rich was too quick and caught Joe's hand and twisted him onto the mat into a hammerlock. Joe tried to use his feet to get away, but it was like watching an aarkvard with one leg circling the same spot and going nowhere fast. Finally Joe got free and raced to the outside.

Joe began to argue with the fans at ringside, and then Joe pulled Rich feet first from the ring. The two men went toe to toe, and the crowd oohed and aahed at the savage knife edge chops. Finally, Joe tried to whip Rich into the steps, and he succeeded. Rich Money clutched at his shoulder, which left the commentators to muse how he could overcome such a blow at Nothing to Lose if somehow he got out of this match.

Joe took him back into the ring and began using some arm wringing type moves, and then a hammerlock to continue to extrapolate the pain in the shoulder of Money. Money walked himself forward into the turnbuckle with immense force, and the contact forced Joe Sexy free. Rich grabbed at his shoulder, as Joe got back up and charged with a high kick, but Rich moved and Joe Sexy found himself straddling the top rope. Rich grabbed him and pulled him back into the ring. He then whipped him across the ring, but Rich dropped to the mat clutching at his shoulder. Joe came back with a crushing elbow drop delivered into the shoulder blade area of Rich, who quivered.

The referee asked if Rich wanted to give up, but he shook his head. Joe picked him up, and he tried to suspend Rich with a vertical suplex, but Rich dead-weighted him, and instead went for an inside cradle, which Joe kicked out of. The two men got up and Joe went for a lazy lariat, but Rich ducked, turned around... MONEY SHAKER! Joe stumbled around like a carp with legs, and Rich went into a go-behind, from nowhere.. MONEY IN THE BANK! It's bridged well...

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3!

Result: Your winner at 9:30, and STILL SWF World Heavyweight Champion, Rich Money

Grade: B

Peter Michaels: And that's why he's the World Heavyweight Champion!

Duane Fry: And god forbid, he will be following this Saturday night's Nothing to Lose.

Jerry Eisen: Drats! Drats! And double drats!

Duane Fry: I'll tell you what Jerry, Eric Eisen has his work cut out for him.

Jerry Eisen: Maybe, but look at Rich Money's shoulder Duane, no man get beat the master manipulator without all their working parts!

Duane Fry: I wish someone could stop one of your moving parts...

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/EricEisen_alt2.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/RichMoney_alt1.jpg

The mighty greenback floats down in copious amounts over our screen, as a video plays highlighting the master of manipulation, Eric Eisen, who will take on Rich Money for the SWF World Heavyweight Championship, this coming Saturday night at the Nevada State Armoury at Nothing to Lose.

We look at Rich Money defying the odds to win the World Heavyweight Championship at When Hell Freezes Over, Eric Eisen's dubious leadership qualities, the way Eric has manipulated various situations to taint Rich's reign...

All this must come to a head. This Saturday! Nothing to Lose!

Except...

EVERYTHING!

Grade: B+

TV Ratings: 6.56

tristram · August 10, 2010

Do those things come in a 38 waist?

No, I don't believe they do. However, K.I.T.T. certainly is roomy...!

^Love this, made me chuckle.
Squeeky McClean v Steve Frehley
SWF World Tag Team Championships: Jack Geidroyc and Valiant © v The Amazing Bumfholes
Jungle Lord v James Prudence
Remo v Roger Cage
Vengeance v Christian Faith
Struggled with this ... But my heart says keep the Faith!!
SWF World Heavyweight Championship: Rich Money © v Joe Sexy

Heh, I have to say that particular 'Did you know' was probably my favourite. The only one you didn't technically get right was the tag match, but hey, they retained, so it's as good as a win, right?

Squeeky McClean v Steve Frehley
Squeeky haven´t done anythink important so far so I doubt he goes over Frehley

SWF World Tag Team Championships: Jack Geidroyc and Valiant © v The Amazing Bumfholes
I don´t see change happening yet though I expect this feud to continue further

Jungle Lord v James Prudence
Prudence and his crusading buddies have had upper hand so far so maybe it´s time for them to take a loss against the odd guys

Remo v Roger Cage
Cage isn´t yet big enough name to go over Remo

Vengeance v Christian Faith
This could go either way but since you said you wanted to keep Vengeance´s momentum high I think he will take victory here though it likely isn´t clean

SWF World Heavyweight Championship: Rich Money © v Joe Sexy
Nope, Sexy isn´t the next cham

Yep, Cage wasn't big enough to go over on the night. But I tell you what, he was anything but 'Smooth' out there. It wasn't kewl trying to stand up to Remo... he must have a death wish

The Secret Agent Bumfhole: I didn't know anything about a secret Bumfhole, but if it is Jesse's sister then it will make things very interesting and give you a few good possibilities of where to take things. I look forward to it.

The main event: Yeah I agree with BP that I would have expected Gilmore to take the pin, but I think Vengeance heel status and credibility is still intact.

Squeeky McClean v Steve Frehley
Frehley is the man. Future North American Champion right there.

SWF World Tag Team Championships: Jack Geidroyc and Valiant © v The Amazing Bumfholes
Agree with Zergon, no change yet, but maybe in a pay per view rematch.

Jungle Lord v James Prudence
If you just brought Prudence in at the start of the diary then I don't think he'll be hugely over. A loss won't hurt him at all and if the match is good will probably add to his overness anyway.

Remo v Roger Cage
Get back some momentum after a loss last week. I suspect this one will be rather easy for him.

Vengeance v Christian Faith
Difficult, extremely difficult. I think that Vengeance might attack Faith one more time which might just take it's toll and allow him to get a win, or maybe Marat will get involved.

SWF World Heavyweight Championship: Rich Money © v Joe Sexy
Not when Money/Eisen is being billed for the PPV.

Thanks for your views, bro. For a booking-messiah like yourself, it's always extremely engaging and intriguing and valuable to get your views.

Why do I feel so dirty now ready that Emma article? Where are my poopy pants at? Glad you made the transition to the CVERSE and continue your writings for our amusement. I thank you, now as far as the supremist are concerned, I will boycott this show if you push them any harder. I want to throw a brick through my laptops screen every time I see them. So please for my sake stop it.

I'm sorry tou had to boycott the show That makes me a saaaaad panda.

BoomKing · August 10, 2010

F'n loved the show man. The Corporate supremacists are awesomeness personified. You know, I always think I'm doing ok, then I read your diaries and realise just how far I have to go!

tristram · August 10, 2010

Thanks mate. I don't know about that though, I find myself giggling like a Devonshire schoolgirl on Cornish Pasty day at the Tuck Shop when I read your work.

Did anyone catch the ever so subtle (not) tip of the hat to Captain Planet and the Planeteers? There were also two other movie references. Bonus prize if you can identify them.

Bigpapa42 · August 10, 2010

Finally had a chance to read through... Great show. Captain Supremcist... Nice.

Jingo · August 10, 2010

Thanks mate. I don't know about that though, I find myself giggling like a Devonshire schoolgirl on Cornish Pasty day at the Tuck Shop when I read your work.

Did anyone catch the ever so subtle (not) tip of the hat to Captain Planet and the Planeteers? There were also two other movie references. Bonus prize if you can identify them.

It's the you can't handle the truth bit ... Cant think the film. I did also spot the Captain Planet and had to head on over to Youtube to find the theme song and remind myself how awesome it is.

Edit: A few good men.

August 11, 2010

Nope, not commenting. Boycotting the show. For some reason the first segmant threw me for a loop. I kept waiting for The Super Freinds to come out. Wonder Twin Powers, Activate.

Threeway

Great show my freind. But I didnt write this either becasue I am boycotting you.

tristram · August 11, 2010

Finally had a chance to read through... Great show. Captain Supremcist... Nice.

By your powers combined, I am Captain Supremacist. I remember that show as a kid, cheesy as.

It's the you can't handle the truth bit ... Cant think the film. I did also spot the Captain Planet and had to head on over to Youtube to find the theme song and remind myself how awesome it is.

Edit: A few good men.

Heh, all those cartoons from the 80s and 90s had wickedly cheesy concepts.

You picked up one, it was indeed A Few Good Men. I'll give two hints as to the other. It comes in the same promo as A Few Good Men, and is a Clint Eastwood line.

Nope, not commenting. Boycotting the show. For some reason the first segmant threw me for a loop. I kept waiting for The Super Freinds to come out. Wonder Twin Powers, Activate.

Threeway

Great show my freind. But I didnt write this either becasue I am boycotting you.

I kept waiting for the moment I could unleash David Hassellhoff and K.I.T.T. One day... one day, as God is my witness

tristram · August 11, 2010

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/nothingtolose.jpg

SWF Proudly Presents Nothing to Lose - Live and Exclusive to Pay-Per-View

Live from the Nevada State Armoury, this coming Saturday

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/LobsterWarrior.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/joesexy-2.jpg

Lobster Warrior v 'The Masterdon of Sexiness' Joe Sexy

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/JamesPrudence_alt1.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/JungleJack.jpg

'Platinum' James Prudence v Jungle Lord

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/BigCatBrandon_alt4.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/SqueekyMcClean.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/SteveFrehley.jpg

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/SWF_NA.jpg

SWF North American Championship

'Big Cat' Brandon James © v John 'Squeeky' McClean v 'The Dark Destroyer' Steve Frehley

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/EnforcerRoberts.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/AngryGilmore.jpg

Enforcer Roberts v Angry Gilmore

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/Remo_alt1.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/RogerCage.jpg

Remo v 'Smooth' Roger Cage

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/JackGiedroyc_Edge.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/Valiant_jhdChristian.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/ZimmyBumfhole.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/RandyBumfhole.jpg

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/SWF_Tag.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/SWF_Tag.jpg

SWF World Tag Team Championships

Jack Geidroyc and Valiant © v The Amazing Bumfholes

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/SkullDeBones_alt.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/MaratKhoklov.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/JackBruce_alt8.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/ChristianFaith.jpg

'The Ungodly Warrior' Vengeance and 'The Russian Bear' Marat Khoklov v 'Mr Hollywood' Jack Bruce and 'The Living Legend' Christian Faith

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/RichMoney.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/vs11.jpghttp://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/EricEisen_alt2.jpg

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/SWF_World.jpg

SWF World Heavyweight Championship

Quick Picks

Lobster Warrior v Joe Sexy

James Prudence v Jungle Lord

Enforcer Roberts v Angry Gilmore

Remo v Roger Cage

Vengeance and Marat Khoklov v Jack Bruce and Christian Faith

...Stay tuned for official SWF Nothing to Lose Gossip, Rumours and Inside Information...

BoomKing · August 11, 2010

Quick Picks

Lobster Warrior v Joe Sexy

James Prudence v Jungle Lord

I'm calling it. Squeaky goes out for himself in this one! Afterall, it is the squeaky wheel that gets the oil.

Enforcer Roberts v Angry Gilmore

Remo v Roger Cage

Vengeance and Marat Khoklov v Jack Bruce and Christian Faith

Loved the christian faith promo and match from the last show

How can you lose when you are channelling Captain Planet? (Got the reference by the way, as well as the few good men and dirty harry. What do I win? Poopy pants?)

Jingo · August 11, 2010

You picked up one, it was indeed A Few Good Men. I'll give two hints as to the other. It comes in the same promo as A Few Good Men, and is a Clint Eastwood line.

It was bugging me so had to read back over ... Is it?

"I've got just one question for ya. Are you feeling lucky? Well do ya, punk?"

-Dirty Harry.

EDIT: Ooops BoomKing beat me to it.

Lobster Warrior v Joe Sexy

James Prudence v Jungle Lord

Enforcer Roberts v Angry Gilmore

Remo v Roger Cage

Vengeance and Marat Khoklov v Jack Bruce and Christian Faith

Bigpapa42 · August 11, 2010

Lobster Warrior v Joe Sexy

James Prudence v Jungle Lord

Enforcer Roberts v Angry Gilmore

Remo v Roger Cage

Vengeance and Marat Khoklov v Jack Bruce and Christian Faith

Zergon · August 11, 2010

Lobster Warrior v Joe Sexy

Sexy is the leader of his group so he should stay strong

James Prudence v Jungle Lord

Well the odd guys have to win sooner or later so if I keep predicting them then I will be right at some point:p

Little early for Corporation to ran in a trouble so I go with Branton retaining here

Enforcer Roberts v Angry Gilmore

I think Gilmore is higher on the ladders

Remo v Roger Cage

Cage seems indeed to have dead wish and though he likely won´t die, he wont win either

I actually go with the title change here, Bumfholes seem to be getting the push right now and with this being their second clash with the champs it´s liekly to be succesfull if their are getting the belts at all (third match would be the usual former champs get the re-match match).

Vengeance and Marat Khoklov v Jack Bruce and Christian Faith

Could go either way but since Vengeance have two losses on row now I go with the big guys

I think it´s little too early for a title change, but this feud will likely continue to next PPV.

totti · August 11, 2010

Had to find some internet access and send you some picks after such fantastic pre pay view show. Really, really did enjoy that show, all the promos and matches were brilliant.

Lobster Warrior v Joe Sexy

He´s just had a title fight so he should be going over here.

James Prudence v Jungle Lord

Get some momentum back after the cheap loss.

James has looked brilliant in my book and I can´t see him dropping the belt yet.

Enforcer Roberts v Angry Gilmore

Gilmore has much more to give than Roberts.

Remo v Roger Cage

I know that you love Remo probably more than I do so I think you´ll continue to build him up.

I´m gonna call a title change here, not sure why, but I think that after the draw they could take this.

Vengeance and Marat Khoklov v Jack Bruce and Christian Faith

You´ve said that you want to keep Vengeance strong and this would be the perfect oppurtunity to do so. Khoklov could use the rub too after the loss to Faith. I could see Faith being destroyed but still managing to get the win which could also be conveyed as a defeat if he comes out of the match looking the worse for ware. Maybe a post match attack aswell as Faith continues to frustrate Khoklov.

I love seeing a strong heel stable carrying the belt so if Eisen won this i´d be happy, but I just can´t see it, especially after Runaway Train dropped the belt so soon.

As ever, I can´t wait for you show so hurry up and stop the suspense!

tristram · August 12, 2010

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w17/tristramwcw/Supreme%20Wrestling%20Federation/crimentary.jpg

Roll with it homies, and welcome to our blog yo. This is your hook-up to the tag team world of Supreme Wrestling Fed, Shady K and Knuckles, and we are Death Row, reprezent east side. Unfortunately for all the playas out there who were looking to see Death Row do their thing at Nothing to Lose, it seems corporate crime paid off as the stiffs and shirts did not book us. But we won't be silenced. Like so many great men before us like Martin Luther King, we will not be silenced. So on this here blog, we gonna keep it real and give you our picks for the Pay-Per-View.

- Bustin Joe Sexy v the Allan Iverson of SWF, Lobster Warrior. I gots to say that over the past month or so, we have been impressed by the changes in the playa Joe Sexy. He's gone from being all nice upper-west side to being one of the boys from the Bronx. And we are cool with dat. But Joe knows not to mess with our bizness. So as long as he is cool with dat then we think Joe goes a long way, starting now. Bustin Joe to get the win.

- Pretty Boy James Prudence v The Borneo Thug Jungle Lord. Jungle Lord's been thuggin it since my boy Jesus was learning how to lay up off a baseline play. The little nancy boy that is James Prudence won't last against this fly. Jungle Lord fo sho.

- The Playa Hating ***** Cat Brandon James v Gringo Squeeky McClean v The Chosen One, Steve Frehley. We like the playa here. We aren't bawling it, it's just that Steve Frehley is a better kind of man. He's on a roll baby. Some things don't feel right. Like Shaq in the green of Boston. Come on playa, whats up with that? Frehley feels smooth. Frehley F-T-W.

- Enforcer Roberts v Flyboy Gilmore. We don't think Enforcer wants none of that with Flyboy. Major props to our boy, he's on a roll like our boy Shady K was at the Roulette Table at Caesars Palace, if you know what we're saying. Flyboy F-T-W.

- Thugalicious Remo v Sweet as Candy Roger Cage. Roger Cage, the playa is a nice boy. He's supposedly too smooth to be a real playa though. And you got to thug up when you face a big mutha you know what like Remo. Remo F-T-W.

- The King of Swindon Jack Geidroyc and his boy Valiant v The (Not so) Amazing Bumfholes. They try to be bad. Brother, they try to be bad. But they ain't bad. They're like cheap imitations, like M&M himself yo. Geidroyc and Valiant, they will roll tonight, but then they will run into us. Promise you that much. Champs F-T-W.

- The Sick Freak Vengeance and El Consquistador from Russia v the real man's playa Christian Faith and Mr Wannabe Bling Bling Jack Bruce. This ain't gonna be pretty. Faith and Bruce, they ain't gonna want none of that. But Vengeance and Marat, they'll be bringing it. Faith and Bruce, if they want some, they're gonna to get some. Vengeance and Marat, F-T-W.

- Richie Rich Money v Easy E Eric Eisen. Eric, your old man duped us again bro. We should come out there and split your lip upside your mouth. But we won't (at least, maybe not). Easy E is a bad mutha brawler, and we think that gets him the win. Eric Eisen F-T-W.

This segment was (poorly) ghostwritten by an SWF suit.

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