Something old, Something new: Tales of '94

[BoomKing]

“Say what you will about the tenets of Hulkamania; at least it's an ethos.”

 

The newly crowned King of the Ring Owen Hart sat in the back of an anonymous Baltimore bar still wearing the elaborate crown he won mere hours ago. He sunk the dregs of a bottle of cheap domestic beer and slammed it down. 'I don't care how many power plays he pulled or how many crappy movies he wanted to make, that guy is a god damn franchise.'

 

Diesel and Razor rolled their eyes at each other from across the table. 'Jesus Christ, I didn't realise you were such a Hogan mark!' said Diesel sarcastically. 'Better than being a mark for yourself, pal.' replied Owen with a smirk. 'He built this company and we let him just walk into WCW without a fight?'

 

WWF Champion Bret Hart had been sitting silently, replaying the match he'd had with Diesel earlier that night in his head. 'Hogan didn't build this place, Vince did.' was all he offered to the conversation before returning to his thoughts.

 

'You know The Torch is saying their gonna give him the strap in his first match?' said Razor continuing the conversation. 'sounds like a franchise to me.' Diesel couldn't contain his laughter. 'I can't believe you read that crap! First him with the Hogan Blowjob now you reading the dirts?'

 

'Yeah, what of it?' replied Razor. 'I get more straight answers from them than from you back stabbing jackasses. They're saying Luger is the next one jumping ship y'know...' That last sentence hung in the air for a while whilst they all considered the possibility of moving down south. Diesel was the one to finally break the silence. 'I've heard some pretty screwed up stories from down there. They could drive a dump truck full of money to my door and I wouldn't sign.'

 

'Me neither man.' said Razor quickly, screwing his face up at the thought. 'What about you Bret?' Bret looked up at the expectant table. 'I'm good where I am. It'd take something serious to get me to leave.' Owen finally took off his crown and rolled it across the table towards his brother. 'God, you're such a kiss ass! Vince would never let you leave anyway, not in my lifetime!'

 

Bret rolled the crown back towards Owen and laughed out loud. 'And what about you?' he asked? 'Me?' said Owen. ' They give me enough money to retire at 35 on a reduced schedule and I'm there tomorrow. If they pony up enough I'll throw this crown in a trash can on live TV!'

 

The four of them chuckled at the thought, certain that Owen would actually do it given half a chance. 'What's the joke?' enquired HBK as he returned from the bar with five shots of absinthe. 'Your theme music!' screamed Owen as quick as a flash, cracking up the room.

 

'I think your crowns been cutting off the air supply to your brain your majesty.' retorted Shawn. 'Yeah, sorry, you're right. Your musics more over than you are!' Diesel admonished Owen with his eyes and helped Shawn out with the tray of shots, putting one in front of each of them. 'Everybody sit down, shut up and grab a glass. What are we drinking to?'

 

'Hulkamania!' shouted Owen.

'The death of Hulkamania' corrected Bret.

 

'The death of WCW if they give him the strap.' countered Razor

'You guys are so morbid. Bret, you're the champ, I'm the IC champ, even Owen is a king! We should be drinking to ourselves!' Exclaimed Diesel.

 

'Here's to The New Generation.' said Shawn raising his glass.

 

The rest of the table raised their glasses in unison.

 

“The New Generation.”

[The Final Countdown]

When I saw you post in the Must Read List thread, I said to myself, "Man, this place would be that much more fun if he started a new diary." I log back in after taking my shower, and here this is! I'll definitely be reading; your behind-the-scenes stuff is always top notch.

 

PS: I wouldn't complain if Owen turned into a carbon copy of Walter Sobchak.

[BoomKing]

Virgil was younger than most of the men who sat on the table next to him but in a lot of ways he felt much older. That's why he sat with the likes of Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson. Koko B. Ware brought the drinks over and they quickly closed rank. 'Have you heard those guys?' sneered Koko as he sat down. 'Talking like they're the second coming or something. They should try drawing some real money.'

Gibson reached for his whiskey. 'Hollar down Koko, you couldn't draw a circle with a spirograph.' Morton and Virgil laughed but Koko was clearly hurt. Morton decided to change the subject quickly. 'Anybody heard from the office recently?' They all looked around expectantly, Virgil was the only one that spoke. 'I was offered a twelve month extension yesterday but I don't think I'm gonna take it. They want me to sign on the exact same terms as last time the cheap bastards!'

 

Virgil pulled himself closer to the table and beckoned the others to follow suit. 'I've been talking to a few guys down south, sending the feelers out. There's good money to be made down there now. Real good.' Morton and Gibson pulled back quickly. 'Been there done that,' said Gibson. 'That place is a shambles. You really want to put your career in the hands of those cretins?'

 

Virgil continued unaffected. 'I can make more money down there in twelve months than I can make here in three or four years. That's without bonuses. At this stage I don't care how incompetent they are, they could burn out and fold in twelve months and I'd be set. If I've burnt my bridges here then so what? You know how much money you can make on the convention scene these days? I can sign autographs all day for a living if I need to!'

 

'You guys can fart around here and Smokey Mountain on pay per appearance contracts or you can come and make some real money whilst you still can. You really want to be doing this in another ten years? This place is getting younger and younger every week. We've got 20 year old kids on the roster, how much longer you think they're gonna keep guys like us around? '

 

The table went silent as Virgil's words sunk in. There was a reason they let him sit on the veteran table after all.

[BoomKing]

When I saw you post in the Must Read List thread, I said to myself, "Man, this place would be that much more fun if he started a new diary." I log back in after taking my shower, and here this is! I'll definitely be reading; your behind-the-scenes stuff is always top notch.

 

PS: I wouldn't complain if Owen turned into a carbon copy of Walter Sobchak.

 

Thanks for the support Count! Hope I can stick at this for a while but I'm not making any big promises just yet! Not sure if I'm allowed to post links to other projects I'm involved with on here but I'm doing a lot of writing for wrestling websites and fanzines these days. I doubt I would have done any of it if it wasn't for the support from good people like yourself when I was writing on here regularly.

[FlameSnoopy]

I don't read many diaries anymore, but having read your original diaries I have to say they were absolute gold! So consider myself added to the bandwagon Boom

[BoomKing]

I don't read many diaries anymore, but having read your original diaries I have to say they were absolute gold! So consider myself added to the bandwagon Boom

 

Thanks for the support Snoopy! Glad to have you on the wagon!

[BoomKing]

The next night, Owen Hart sat on a hard wooden bench in the locker room of the Hartford Civic Center, a small plastic carry case under his arm. Jim Neidhart came and sat next to him and patted the case gently. 'What's in the carrier, man?' he asked inquisitively, poking his bulbous fingers through the metal bars in the front. Owen sighed and opened the tiny door. 'It's Martha's dog, I think it's a Pug or something. I can't leave him home alone or he chews all the furniture.' Jim looked at Owen with total disbelief. 'You brought a Pug wrestling?' he said, dumbfounded. 'Brought it wrestling?' replied Owen, slamming the door shut, almost trapping Jim's fingers in the process. 'I didn't buy him a singlet, I'm not teaching it how to tie up, he's not replacing you in our damn match, dude!'

Before either man could say anything else a very excited individual offered them both a handshake. Backstage rules dictated they had to accept even if they had no idea who the guy was. 'Wow, it's great to meet you guys, I'm a big, big fan!' Jim looked him in the eye and raised a ginger eyebrow, 'You win a competition or something, kid?' he asked, gruffly.

 

'Ha! You're about the fifth person to say that! I can take a good ribbing! You guys all in on this?' The expressions on Owen and Jim's faces didn't change, the stranger tried to read their eyes but it was no use, they weren’t giving anything away. So the stranger swallowed his pride and started again, offering his hand once more. 'It's Hammer,' he said deflatedly. ' Y'know, as in Van Hammer? I just signed a couple days ago.' Hammer went to walk away but Jim pulled him back. 'Ahhh, yeah, I know you! The kid with the guitar right? You got it with you?' Hammer looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him. 'I, I don't actually, you know...I can't really play or anything.'

 

Owen was beginning to crack up. He could hardly contain his laughter as Jim carried on prodding. 'Don't worry kid. You know Diesel hasn't even got a commercial drivers license?' That was all it took for Owen to finally laugh out loud, which in turn cracked Jim, which in turn sent Hammer off in a huff. 'Jesus!' said Owen in hysterics. 'They get Hogan and we get Hammer? I don't know whether to keep laughing or start crying!'

[michgcs]

Glad to see you're back, BoomKing, and you can count me among your readers I'm really enjoying this diary and hopefully you can keep it running

[Beejus]

I was skeptical, until I read about Diesel and his commercial drivers license.

 

I'm hooked.

[FlameSnoopy]

'You brought a Pug wrestling?' he said, dumbfounded. 'Brought it wrestling?' replied Owen, slamming the door shut, almost trapping Jim's fingers in the process. 'I didn't buy him a singlet, I'm not teaching it how to tie up, he's not replacing you in our damn match, dude!'

 

I was skeptical, until I read about Diesel and his commercial drivers license.

 

I'm hooked.

 

Yeah this is such good stuff Of course, my favourite part was actually the one I quoted above Keep up the good work Boom!

[BoomKing]

Yeah this is such good stuff Of course, my favourite part was actually the one I quoted above Keep up the good work Boom!

 

You have The Final Countdown to thank for that bit!

 

Thanks for reading so far everyone. As you can probably guess this is going to be pretty much all backstage stuff so anybody looking for long show write ups should probably look elsewhere. If, on the other hand, you're in the mood for unfunny comedy, dimwitted booking and a largely plagiarized plot then stick around!

[RKOwnage]

This is absolutely awesome. And it's the opposite of my '94 diary, since I don't have too much backstage stuff. So I can enjoy this without hating you for blowing mine out of the water

[NWAvsWWF]

Loving the backstory so far, got another reader here. Took a look at your WCW we three kings diary the other day and really enjoyed it, hope this ones as good.

[BoomKing]

Vince McMahon was wearing his reading glasses which usually meant one thing; somebody was about to get fired. Lex Luger sat on the opposite side of the desk, arms folded across his chest and prepared for the worst. Vince rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked Lex right in the eyes. 'I'm going to ask you a straight question so I'd appreciate a straight answer. Are you planning on jumping to WCW?'

 

Lex thought about lying. He thought about the hefty bonus he had been promised if he strung Vince along and jumped at the last minute. He thought about the headline feud with Ric Flair that Eric Bischoff had alluded to when he met him last week. He thought about it for too long, cluing Vince into what he already suspected.

 

Vince leaned across the desk and removed his glasses 'We put together a very competitive contract offer Lex. I thought we had a deal.' Lex could feel the anger rise in the pit of his stomach but knew that now wasn't the time to go into business for himself. 'And I thought I was walking out of WrestleMania with the title, Vince.' he said through gritted teeth. 'I thought we had a deal too.'

They were at a stalemate. A few seconds passed but the awkward silence felt like minutes. Finally, Vince stood up and walked to the office door, poked his head into the corridor then when he was happy nobody was listening locked them both in. Luger wasn't sure what was happening but he went along with it. 'Look,' he said wearily, 'you know they've got us over a barrel with this steroid trial. I'm getting screwed from all angles here...putting the title on you at this time is bad, not just for me but for you too.'

 

'For me?' shouted Lex incredulously as Vince continued in full stride. 'Yes, for you. I put the title on you, that opens you up to a lot of media outlets. All of a sudden you're fair game to these vultures. They're gonna ask you the hard questions you don't want to answer, and there's not a damn thing we can do to protect you. Jesus, Lex! You saw what they did to Hogan. You saw the crap he went through. It damn near broke him!'

 

Luger seemed stumped. 'I've nothing to hide!' was all he managed to say.

 

'We've all got something to hide Lex, but some things are harder to hide than others once the courts and the medical labs get involved. Can't you see that my hands are tied? Do you really think I want Bret holding the belt? I mean, I love that kid like a son, but we all know that if it wasn't for the trial he'd be nowhere near the title. Look, the plan hasn't changed, Lex. We still want you on top but we've got to play the long game now. Once this has all blown over...''

'And how long exactly do you think that will be? Six months? A year? You're asking me to put my career on hold without any guarantee that things will ever blow over!'

'I'm not asking you to sit on the sidelines,' continued Vince, his tone much less harsh, 'you just can't be the main event. We could set you up with a decent tag title run. I've got this kid coming in later today, they call him Mike Awesome, he's a real big son of a bitch. You two would be perfect together!'

 

'I'm not interested in a tag run. Vince, WCW are offering me a program with Flair and almost double what you're paying.'

'OK, OK, so...what about this?' the chairman asked, thinking on his feet. 'Luger vs Diesel for the IC title at SummerSlam. We promote it as a co-main event but we put it in the middle of the card. That way we can work it so you get a decent main event bonus off the buyrate and the house and we can keep you out of the headlights. And once the trial blows over, which it will, we push you back into World Title contention.'

Luger audibly chuckled to himself. 'No offence, boss, but I'd rather have guaranteed money in the bank than another handful of your promises. I've got to do what's right for me.'

 

McMahon allowed a grin to creep across his face as he rolled Lugers last sentence around in his head. 'You've got to do what's right for you, huh? Allow me to smarten you up real quick, Lex. Hogan, Flair, Sting-I know for a fact that they have creative control over their characters down there. And I also know, as much as it pains me to admit it, that they are going to make some serious money off the back of Hogan vs Flair and probably Hogan vs Sting too. You think you're going to just waltz into WCW and they're going to let you get a piece of their pie? They'll keep you at a comfortable distance until you're just another guy. They'll let you rot. And yes, you'll still pick up that guaranteed money, but your career and your legacy will be a joke. You think this is about you? This isn't about you, it's about me. The only reason they want you is because I have you!'

'And the only reason you want to keep me is because they want me!'

 

Vince stood quietly and walked back towards the door. He undid the lock and opened it wide. 'Then go. Go with my blessing if you think it's the right thing for you, but deep down you know I'm right. All I'm asking is that you think about what I've said carefully before you sign anything.'

 

Lex got up and nodded towards Vince before heading for the doorway.

 

'Oh, and Lex?' said Vince softly. 'I appreciate your honesty with all this.'

 

Lex smiled and silently walked out the door, his head full of doubts. As soon as Lex was out of sight, Vince reached for his overflowing filofax and frantically scrolled through the decades of contacts he had made. He found the name he was looking for and quickly dialled.

 

'Hi, Dusty? Hi, it's Vince. I need you to do me a favour. I need you to tell that son of a bitch Eric Bischoff that I know he's going to make a play for Luger. You tell him that if Luger signs then I'll personally see to it that he's staring at the ceiling every night for the next month and I'll make sure that all the dirts know exactly what's going on.'

 

Vince hung up and put his reading glasses back on.

[BoomKing]

Randy Savage wanted to get back in the ring. He'd been working commentary with Vince for too long, being so close to the action but not getting involved was more than he could take. He'd long since given up trying to convince Mcmahon that he could still be relevant in the New Generation era and knew it was time to take matters into his own hands.

 

He sat right through The Headshrinkers defending their tag titles against IRS and Nikolai Volkoff, doing the same crazy commentary he'd been doing for weeks. He sat and watched The King of Hearts Owen Hart beat The 1-2-3 Kid in a decent TV match. He saw Yokozuna make light work of Duke The Dumpster Droese and Razor Ramon best Jeff Jarrett in what would be the main event of that nights Raw.

 

Finally, it was time for Diesel and Shawn Michaels to enter the ring for their interview segment that was supposed to kick off the Diesel vs Lex Luger feud. As Michael strutted to ringside, he made a point to direct some heated words towards the announce table, drawing the ire of The Macho Man in the process. As the interview wore on, Michaels continued to goad Savage as Vince watched on confused. 'Shawn really has it in for you tonight, huh, Randy?' he said curiously. Savage continued to play up to it, threatening to come into the ring and teach Shawn a lesson.

 

Eventually, Shawn and Diesel left the ring having laid out an open challenge for anybody in the back to come and try and take the Intercontinental title away from Big Daddy Cool. Again, they headed for the announce table, but this time Savage was waiting for them! He dove over the table onto Michaels much to the surprise of Vince. 'What in the word is going on, oh my! Look out! The Macho Man has finally had enough of Shawn Michaels and his big mouth!'

 

The crowd was going wild for Savage but eventually the numbers game caught up as Shawn and Diesel took control of the situation. Vince tried to keep his cool but he was furious. 'Please, we need help here! Somebody from the back needs to come and sort this out, now!'

Gerald Brisco literally pushed Lex Luger through the curtain. Lex didn't have a clue what was going on either, but he instinctively ran towards the ring and helped even the numbers. Shawn and Diesel saw him coming and high tailed it through the crowd as Luger helped Savage to his feet. The two men stood tall in the ring as Vince tried to make sense of what just happened.

 

As the camera's stopped rolling, Vince marched backstage to find Savage, Lex, Diesel and Shawn in the middle of a heated conversation. He shouted down the corridor; 'What the hell were you guys doing out there?' Luger wanted answers too. He wouldn't put it past Vince to have orchestrated the whole scenario. Shawn tried to calm everyone down and explain. 'You heard the fans out there, Vince, they love Savage. They want to see him kick the crap out of me. You want Diesel to work with this piece of shit Luger and stop walking out on us? Fine. But if we're doing this, we're doing it our way. You give me and Randy free reign to work a program leading up to SummerSlam and you can do whatever the hell you need to to keep Bootleg Hogan sweet.'

 

Luger had heard enough and took a swing at Shawn but Savage and Diesel held him back. 'You're calling me a piece of shit? You and your little Kliq will be the death of this company, punk!' Luger backed off and stormed off towards the car park. 'Screw all of you, I've had it with this amateur hour bullshit!' And with that, he left the building, the thought of a WCW guaranteed contract sounding sweeter with every step.

 

Vince looked at the three men in front of him. Three men he had shown an inordinate amount of trust to over the years. Three men who were going into business for themselves. He sighed. 'Why the **** didn't you tell me what you had planned?' Shawn smiled. 'And where's the fun in that, Vin-man?' Vince wanted to take a swing at Shawn himself but he thought better of it. 'This isn't over.' he said calmly to the three of them before barging past them towards his makeshift office.

 

Savage felt guilty. 'Maybe we should have run it past him. I've not seen him that pissed off for a long time.' Diesel laughed. 'Don't worry, he'll calm down. He'll have to. He's not going to risk losing the three of us over losing Lex.' Savage wasn't so sure. He'd become something of an afterthought lately. Shawn saw a look is Randy's eyes that he'd never seen before. Fear.

 

'Don't worry,' said Shawn, patting Savage on the back. 'Vince may be an asshole but he'll do what's right for business. This time next week it'll all be forgotten and you'll be back in the ring. Trust me, Vince doesn't hold grudges.'