SWF 2023: The Aging Aristocracy

Oregano Jensen · June 4, 2013

The year is 2023. The last decade of wrestling in America has been a story of fragmentation -- the Internet has leveled the playing field, allowing small companies to develop a following previously thought impossible. It's not quite the days of the territories again, but no less than 20 promotions in America can boast regional fame. The big three are still three, but not so big any more... and they're practically neck and neck.

For SWF, TCW and USPW, the last ten years have been mostly a defensive battle -- SWF's Peter Michaels, TCW's Joel Bryant and now Rick Sanders, and the various USPW bookers (six over the last decade!) know their three companies are in a virtual dead heat, and they don't want to disrupt that balance by promoting unproven talent. The result: all three promotions feature main eventers well past their sell-by date, everybody makes a living, but none of them has truly cracked the national mainstream for half a decade.

After a disastrous 2022, SWF is the first one to make a move. 50-year-old Jack Bruce is pushed the main contender to 46-year-old Brandon James' World Championship, 47-year-old comedy act Fred Garcia headlines Supreme Challenge, and the comically out-of-shape Eric Eisen spends much of the year holding the North American Title. SWF's half-century run as America's No. 1 wrestling promotion in America ends, as USPW edges ahead of them in the ratings. Booker Peter Michaels, 62, is nudged into retirement.

His replacement doesn't seem like a fresh face at first -- Paul Huntingdon, midcard staple, transitional World Champion (2019-2020), and on-screen lackey of the Chase Agency. But while Huntingdon is a company man, he's also younger than SWF's main event power brokers, and he knows he has to bring this company into the modern era. The time of these aging legends is coming to an end... a slow end in some cases, a long-overdue one in others, but an end nonetheless. If the greatest company in American wrestling history wants to regain that crown, they need to change with the times -- and create new stars for the first time in years. If they do that, they can truly call themselves Supreme...

SWF 2023: THE AGING ARISTOCRACY

flaviooooo · June 4, 2013

I'm in ;-)

Psycho Sam · June 4, 2013

How much punishment has their bodies taken?

I'm in.

Oregano Jensen · June 4, 2013

SOME NOTES ON "THE AGING ARISTOCRACY"

(aka "SWF 2023: AGES 65 AND OLDER HEADLINE THE PPV")

After several abortive attempts over the years, I've finally got a dozen shows into a dynasty, and am still going strong. So here it is -- my attempt to book the SWF of one possible future, which I generated by running the game forward ten years and taking control of booking.

The game uses a mostly canonical dynasty -- the only difference being that I gave USPW, TCW, NOTBPW and CGC developmental promotions to handle their dojo graduates and prospects. (CGC went bankrupt in '21, so their dev promotion is just a promotion now. RIP, CGC!)

Many thanks to the many writers here who have inspired me over the years, from Monkeypox, JTSilver and Scapino (et al.) back in the day to Phantom Stranger, NoNeck, 3rdStringPG and at least a dozen others. Also thanks to the alt image makers who have made the pictures for most of these workers. (Thankfully, most SWF employees are popular enough that there's at least one picture out there that, intentionally or otherwise, looks a few years older... though I must say the community has drawn a regrettable blank on Fat Eric Eisen.)

One more note, which I wouldn't have thought was necessary, but I'm told it is? I'm not an especially good player of the game, in the sense of being able to arrange shows to coax elite grades out of workers. I'm not mostly here for that anyway -- I'm here to tell a story, and will not hesitate to book a bad match if it serves that end.

So if you're going to say, "oh, how did Brandon James-Rich Money only get a B-?" -- well, as a wise man once advised, "repeat to yourself 'It's just a show, I should really just relax.'" Anyway, James and Money are a combined 93 years old by now. It's a miracle they can still get to the ring under their own power.

Anyway, after the obligatory series of lineup posts, we'll be ready to go!

Oregano Jensen · June 4, 2013

MAIN EVENTERS

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Angry Gilmore

44-year-old heel

Entrance music:

Finishers: Anger Management (Go To Sleep)

Sky High Elbow (diving elbow drop -- rarely seen in recent years)

Like many of the top guys in SWF, Gilmore has been at the peak of the promotion for well over a decade. At the age of 44, Gilmore is not quite the worker he once was, but he's still an above-average technician who can brawl or take to the air, and his basics and ring generalship remain unmatched.

In July 2022, Gilmore (along with Nicky Champion) turned on Steve Frehley, only to be beaten by Frehley at the next month's PPV. Gilmore, who regularly switches from face to heel, is a bad guy (for now), playing his patented self-righteous character and boasting about how he's never cheated in a match.

The main drama for him, aside from the ongoing Frehley feud, is whether or not he'll manage to capture the World Heavyweight Title before he retires. Over the years, his continuing failure to quite take the crown has been an ongoing story for him. The iconoclastic Gilmore has always claimed that he doesn't need or want the belt -- he claims to judge himself only against himself, and doesn't care about the approval of SWF or its wrestlers. As he ages, though, he's expressed occasional regret in on-screen segments that he doesn't have more tangible proof of his greatness.

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Brandon James

SWF World Champion

46-year-old heel

Entrance music: Amon Tobin, "Big Furry Head" (carryover from his DAVE days as "Big Cat")

Finishers: Big Money Move (powerslam into turnbuckle, followed by powerslam to the mat)

Brandon Bomb Drop (gutwrench powerbomb)

The backbone of the Chase Agency, James captured his first World Heavyweight Title in July 2021, defeating Remo in a three-way cage match that also featured a then-face Angry Gilmore. A year and a half later, "Big Money" still holds the belt, but at the age of 46, he's not expected to remain at the top of the company for much longer.

James is embroiled in a title feud with Jack Bruce at the moment. After beating him in November by Chase Agency interference, he lost the rematch by DQ. The big match for When Hell Freezes Over is a cage match between the two -- which is a bit of a shame, given that the fans didn't exactly love the first two installments of the feud.

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Des Davids

38-year-old heel

Entrance music: Madvillain, "Supervillain Theme"

Finishers: Touchdown (jumping piledriver)

Quarterback Sack (spear -- secondary finisher)

Davids is one of the fresher figures in the main event, and one of the three SWF workers who has the most appeal to the fans at this point. This is especially notable given that his record is not that impressive -- he went 12-9 in 2023, with most of those wins coming against midcarders. But he's got momentum, and the fans love him, even when (as is the case now) he's technically a heel.

Davids is still not the most polished worker in the SWF -- he's a decent brawler, but can't call his own matches and has no technical ability. He's passable on the mic, but nothing special. But he's clearly good enough to get as over as he has, so it's not necessary to nitpick. Davids has worked extensively with Jay Chord in recent months, both in an attempt to re-establish his heel alignment by associating him with a loathed figure, and because the storyline called for a two-man alliance to face off against the Almighty Dollar.

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Jay Chord

32-year-old heel

Entrance music: Faith No More, "Epic"

Finishers: Cradle Piledriver

Super DDT

Chord is by far the youngest headliner in the SWF. After jumping from TCW in 2014, Rip's son was thrust quickly into the top echelon of the promotion. He's a real pain backstage, but he makes up for it by being an amazing heel worker, both in and out of the ring. Brawling, technical wrestling, psychology, amazing athletic abvility, charisma... Jay has it all. The fans truly despise his sneering bully character, but they'll pack the arena to see him in action.

Like Davids, Chord has been a clear main eventer for years in the eyes of the fans, but the Eisens and their cronies have mostly relegated him to whipping up on the midcard. Putting the two of them in an alliance, and letting them compete evenly against The Almighty Dollar, has done a lot to bring their kayfabe power level up to the levels fans expect. As 2022 ends, they've just lost a 4-on-4 match against Remo and Rich Money's team, but the feud has yielded some of the year's hottest matches and angles, so we're unlikely to see the end of it very soon.

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Nicky Champion

38-year-old heel

Entrance music: Iron Maiden, "Run to the Hills"

Finisher: Hawkeye Hammer

Champion is in... an interesting place. The no. 3 draw in the company after Remo and Jay Chord, Nicky Champion is a gifted worker with the ring talent, star quality and charisma to carry this company. He's also dealing with the first heel turn of his career, a storyline that is going nowhere fast. At the very time when the company most needs another really strong face, the most natural fan favorite on the roster is playing a fairly unconvincing villain.

Infuriated with Steve Frehley, Champion and Angry Gilmore attacked him in the ring in July '22, a storyline that was shocking for mostly the wrong reasons. Since then, Champion has beaten a bunch of midcarders, and gone 0-2 against Frehley -- once by DQ, and once when he walked out on the match. Both of these matches were successful with the fans, but SWF has failed to turn Champion into a convincing heel beyond his distaste for the "Dark Destroyer" -- the storyline mostly turned into a Frehley vs. Gilmore plot, with Champion playing a decidedly supporting role. With the Gilmore feud wrapping up, Frehley-Champion may become more of a focus soon.

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Remo

40-year-old face

Entrance music:

Finishers: Destroyer (muscle buster)

Lumbar Puncture (double leg slam)

Remo is the biggest star in SWF, seemingly carrying the face side of the roster singlehandedly of late, and his amazing work more than justifies his popularity. He recently turned 40, but he's not showing even the slightest sign of decline. He's a three-time World Champion, and it'd be shocking if he didn't pick up at least one more belt before his career ends.

As great a singles worker as he is, Remo is almost as well known for his work with Rich Money as The Almighty Dollar. They used to be one of the most feared main-event heel teams in SWF. They broke up in 2018 when Money turned face, but Remo followed suit in 2019, leading to their reformation.

Most recently, the Almighty Dollar teamed up with Jack Bruce and Steve Frehley to take down Des Davids, Jay Chord, Marat Khoklov and Paul Huntingdon at Christmas Clash 2022. The finish, in which Remo bodyslammed the 600-pound Khoklov to the mat, marked the end of stage 1 of the feud that had defined the second half of 2022. But while Chord and Davids saw their bodyguard taken out, they're still standing, and fans are looking forward to a feud that's likely to stretch at least to Supreme Challenge.

3rdStringPG · June 4, 2013

* grabs the beer and chips and prepares for a good read *

Count me in on this one as well! And thanks for the shout-out!

Oregano Jensen · June 4, 2013

upper midcard

Oregano Jensen · June 4, 2013

UPPER MIDCARDERS

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Captain Atomic

39-year-old face

Entrance music:

Finishers: Mushroom Cloud

Radiation Blast

The SWF's resident superhero is the last link to a goofier era in the promotion's industry, where men like Jungle Lord and the late Lobster Warrior walked the ring. There's a reason Atomic is still around, though: he can really go in the ring. Sure, he's a one-dimensional brawler, but he's damn good within that dimension. And of course the kids love him. At the age of 39, with no major injuries, the man born Adam Burke is sure to be "up and at 'em" for years to come.

Like most comedy characters, Atomic has not seriously challenged the main eventers. In 2022, for example, he lost to Des Davids, Nicky Champion, Angry Gilmore and Brandon James (twice, both on TV in non-title matches). Aside from those fights, though, he's 13-0 in the last year. Atomic is one of the most reliable workers on the roster, and in a way, he's booked as a more serious threat than ever -- it's just that this usually happens in the midcard, where his broader storylines have the room to exist largely separate from the less cartoonish main event.

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Fred Garcia

47-year-old face

Entrance music: Tom Jones, "It's Not Unusual"

No longer Flex, no longer Frederique, no longer even Freddy -- at the age of 47, it's time to put away childish things and accept your new life as just plain Fred. As his career winds down, and his skin ages from well-tanned to downright leathery, Garcia has toned down his flamboyant mannerisms for a face run, leaning on his easy charisma and talent for wisecracks. He's become a reliable presence in the midcard, better known for his genial promo skills than for anything he can still do in the ring.

Oh, and also he headlined Supreme Challenge 2022.

Yes, Garcia took a break from being pro wrestling's answer to Johnny Carson to face off against Brandon James at the biggest show of the year -- a match James' manager Emma Chase described as "like the New York Yankees vs. the cast of Cheers." Granted, she said this in Boston, but not all of those boos were heel heat. Thankfully, the ensuing semi-squash (which, let me remind you again, was the main event of Supreme Challenge) pushed Garcia back down to the midcard, where he's remained ever since.

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Jack Bruce

50-year-old face

Entrance music: Queen and David Bowie, "Under Pressure"

Finisher: New York Minute (Fame Dropper)

Jack Bruce still has the white-hot charisma that has made him an icon in the wrestling business. Unfortunately, that's about all he has -- he's in a state of physical decline, barely able to eke out a seven-minute TV match and unlikely to do much of interest in those seven minutes. The 50-year-old New Yorker probably should have retired a few years ago, but nobody -- not the fans, not the other workers, nobody -- wants to admit it and see him go.

As stated above, Bruce is challenging Brandon James for the SWF title at Hell Freezes Over. (Rumors backstage suggest that this failed storyline was the breaking point for management, the point at which they realized Peter Michaels could no longer be trusted as booker.) He's also formed an occasional tag team called Rock and Roll Fantasy, teaming up with Jefferson Stardust. It seems likely that Bruce is passing his torch to Stardust, who's still in his prime but has never made the leap out of the midcard, in large part because Bruce was already doing a similar act at the top of the card.

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Marat Khoklov

47-year-old heel

Entrance music:

Finisher: Moscow Legend Powerbomb

Moscow Lariat

Russian Bear Hug (in squashes against lower-card workers)

Remo is the only face main eventer, Khoklov is the only heel upper midcarder. That's where the similarities end. "The Russian Bear" is a 47-year-old, 600-pound man... how do you think he's holding up? Not a great worker even in his prime, Khoklov is mostly immobile these days, and usually gasses within 5 minutes. In 2023, his prodigious menace is his only selling point -- no matter how slow he gets, nobody wants to be hit by him.

Khoklov was a challenge for Michaels, and will be a challenge for Huntingdon. It's hard to convincingly job out a man the size of a grizzly bear. And you certainly can't push him, at least not with matches. Therefore, he's spent most of the last few years playing hit man in backstage assaults. Most recently, he was Chord and Davids' enforcer in their feud against The Almighty Dollar -- a feud that ended (for now) with Remo bodyslamming Khoklov to win an 8-man match at Christmas Clash. Chord and Davids escaped to fight another day, and Khoklov will probably go back to squashing jobbers halfway into the show while the fans take a bathroom break.

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Rich Money

47-year-old face

Entrance music:

Finishers: Bank Roll

Dollars From Heaven

Money in the Bank

Rich Money is 47, but unlike some of SWF's older contingent, he's still an effective force in the ring. Of course, a lot of that has to do with how great he was in his prime -- there's no question he's diminished. His moves aren't as crisp as they once were, main event matches are a challenge for his lungs, and he's even had an off night or two. (Horror!) But a lesser Rich Money is still better than a lot of folks at the top of their game.

One thing that helps Money is The Almighty Dollar. Money doesn't need to lean on anyone, but if he did, it's hard to find a better choice than Remo. Some commentators have questioned whether Money will return to his heel roots before retirement, but with the heel stranglehold on the main event, it's hard to see how he'd get a push on that side. Anyway, he's doing just fine as he is.

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Steve Frehley

39-year-old face

Entrance music:

Finishers: Frehley's Comet

Regulator (Double Powerbomb)

A two-time World Champion who recently won a feud with Angry Gilmore, Frehley may be classed as a midcarder here, but he's got a main event pedigree and two World Title runs. The main issue here is a lack of stamina -- Frehley is barely able to go longer than Fred Garcia and Jack Bruce. And unlike Bruce, Garcia, James, Khoklov and the rest of the no-cardio crew, Frehley is only 39 years old. Not a good sign. He's in fairly rapid decline elsewhere, as well, and while he's still doing well in the ring, he's certainly not the wrestler he was even a couple years ago.

All of which makes the Gilmore feud win more surprising. Gilmore is not young himself, but he's a noted fitness fanatic, and all signs point to him being able to compete credibly for years. Frehley could be out of the business by 2025. Rumors suggest that the Frehley-over-Gilmore win was a last-ditch effort by Peter Michaels to prove he could promote "youth" -- he clearly failed to pick a winner on that one, given that his "youth" had been with the company for 18 years, and was developing a noticeable gut.

Aside from that, though, Frehley is still a popular if controversial worker. The definition of a tweener, Frehley will do virtually anything to win, but the fans want him to win, so they don't mind. (Of course, this came back to bite him when the rigorously law-abiding Gilmore and Champion turned on him.) He leads the All Good Posse, a stable featuring midcarders and occasional tag partners Randy Bumfhole and Roger Cage.

Oregano Jensen · June 4, 2013

MIDCARDERS

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Eric Eisen

SWF North American Champion

44-year-old heel

Entrance music:

Finisher: The Supremacy (technical "finisher" -- he can no longer really do it)

Mostly foreign object attacks, rope-assisted pins, etc.

Remember when everyone hated Eric Eisen because he had no business in a SWF ring? Remember a few years later, when Eisen shocked everyone by actually becoming a pretty good wrestler? Well, we're back to that first one now. Pushing 300 pounds -- very little of it muscle -- modern-day Eisen is an absolute joke of a wrestler, less athletic than even Marat Khoklov. He can barely walk to the ring without getting winded. Ladies and gentlemen, your North American title holder!

The Supremacist went 17-3-1 last year, with one no contest. The no contest was against Remo, who he would lose to a month later. Somehow, the Destroyer managed to pull a B- out of Eisen both times -- this is evidence that Remo Richardson is God. Aside from a C match against Rich Money (who dealt him both of his other losses), he didn't turn in another even average match all year. A feud may be brewing with Fred Garcia, who called him "the Burrito Supremacist" in a promo last month. If so, let's hope their matches are short, to prevent an in-ring fatality.

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Jefferson Stardust

35-year-old face

Entrance Music:

Finisher: Stage Dive (shooting star senton)

A well-liked guy in the locker room, Stardust is a true all-rounder, and a good one. His grasp of psychology isn't great, but he can work practically any style and look good doing it. It's a little shocking he hasn't gotten a push before now, given that he's not only good, he's friends with Eric Eisen.

The good news for Jeff is that his ship may be coming in, courtesy of Jack Bruce. The pair has formed the part-time tag team Rock and Roll Fantasy -- Stardust's first on-screen alliance since ex-partner Huey Cannonball departed for OLLIE in 2017. With similar gimmicks, the only question is why they didn't team up before now -- and with Bruce rapidly approaching retirement, it's easy to imagine a scenario in which he boosts Jeff on the way out.

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John Greed

43-year-old heel

Entrance music:

Finisher: Crash Diet (Air Raid Crash)

The Eighth Deadly Sin has never been more than a midcarder, but he has been -- and still is -- a pretty great midcarder, able to use his charisma to seem relevant even in the lack of any big success. In the last five years, he's constantly been in the hunt for the North American title, holding it for 9 months in 2018-19, and again for ten months in 2021-22. (He lost it in a three-way match to fellow heel Eric Eisen.) Greed is 43 years old, but he's shown no signs of decline at all, so odds are he'll keep rolling along -- too old to push with the incoming youth movement, not old enough that his continued relevance is a problem. Next up: a program with his old nemesis Captain Atomic.

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Lassana Makutsi

35-year-old face

Entrance music:

Finisher: Out of Africa

When I took this job, Jerry Eisen gave me mostly free rein, but insisted that we push two guys. Nicky Champion was one, which makes sense because he's really good, and also because Eisen isn't paying him $100,000 a month to hide him in the midcard. The other? Lassana Makutsi.

An elite athlete and one of the best brawlers in the business, Makutsi has mostly been held back by his shaky grasp of psychology. This hasn't prevented him from putting on great matches with some of the biggest stars in the company -- usually losing, but in 2022, he boasts wins over Des Davids and Jay Chord on his record. (Of course the two main eventers he beats are guys still in their prime...) "The African Assassin" doesn't have a particular feud on his plate, but with the order coming down to push him, he's probably getting one soon.

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Paul Huntingdon

37-year-old heel

Entrance music:

Finisher: High Society

Huntingdon's popularity has seen a gradual slide in recent months, but he continues to put on some of the more entertaining matches in the company. At the age of 37, he's remarkably still improving as a worker. While his shocking 2019-20 World Championship run is unlikely to repeat itself -- a transitional champion, he demonstrated his cowardice by defending the belt only four times in six months, before being smashed into the canvas by Remo -- there's no question that he's the backbone of the company.

Aside from that run, Huntingdon has had most of his success in the tag division, teaming up with Primus Allen (as the Violent Playboys) and now Jack "Rogue" Giedroyc (as simply the Chase Agency). Many a match has been won with the aid of Huntingdon's ornate carved walking stick.

With Giedroyc aging out of contention -- and, for that matter, Brandon James doing the same -- it remains to be seen where the stable is headed in the near future. (For that matter, Chase herself is 46...) Huntingdon's future is likely to be determined by that fact, though his recent installation as head booker complicates matters... does he dare push himself, even when he's obviously good enough to deserve it?

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Primus Allen

SWF World Tag Team Title (with Giant Cody)

34-year-old face

Entrance music:

Finishers: Flying Lariat

Running Powerslam

He's no longer a "Rookie Monster", he's just a monster. And a friendly one at that: Allen pulled up stakes from the Chase Agency a year ago, turning face and severing ties with tag partner Paul Huntingdon. Like Huntingdon, Allen stayed in the tag division, teaming up with an even more monstrous worker in Giant Cody, and won the tag titles in October 2022. A large, extremely athletic brawler who works extremely well within his somewhat limited range, Allen is at his best when facing similarly large, tough opponents. His relative lack of mic skills, and the fact that he's spent most of his career as silent muscle for Chase and co., have made his character a bit of a cipher so far. This needs to change before

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Randy Bumfhole

38-year-old face

Entrance music: E.U., "Da Butt"

Finisher: Bumfhole Buster

Like most people, SWF only has one Bumfhole. Zimmy left for TCW in 2014, where he's made it to the main event. In SWF, Randy has failed to amount to much, either as a solo performer or with his occasional tag partner Roger Cage. Which is a real shame -- he's a credible brawler, easily one of the SWF's top five technicians, and a world-class high-flyer with plenty of spectacular moves. Unfortunately, he's also a lightweight, both physically and in terms of his happy-go-lucky goofball character, which he's still playing at the age of 38.

Randy is definitely in the upper half of the midcard, but probably deserves an even bigger push. Then again, you would've said the same thing in 2013, and his biggest success since then is probably the creation of "The Randy Bumfhole," a dance that resembles a cross between the Roger Rabbit and the Bartman. SWF fans love to do the Randy Bumfhole. They have not been convinced to care about its namesake.

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Roger Cage

40-year-old face

Entrance Music:

Finisher: Cage Rage

Roger Cage is a very solid worker -- wildly charismatic, decent in the ring, 40 years old but as good as he ever was. And yet, everything he gets seems to fall apart. He had a tag team with Brett Biggins, and they won the titles in 2021 and held them for a year. Well, Biggins left the company, so he and Cage had to drop the straps. He was scheduled to win the North American belt from Eric Eisen, but Eisen refused to do the job, so instead Cage lost to Eisen twice, denting his credibility. The Fun Lovin' Criminals, his new tag team with fellow goofball Randy Bumfhole, has yet to gain traction, and they're a weird fit with their on-screen pal, the distinctly more serious Steve Frehley. Has Cage reached his peak as a midcarder, or does he have another act left in his career?

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Rogue

46-year-old heel

Entrance music:

Finisher: High Society

It's been a good run, but Jack "Rogue" Giedroyc is on his last legs. He's still pretty popular across North America (especially in Canada for some reason), but his body is simply giving out on him. He's been one of the main figures in the Chase Agency for over a decade, and teaming him with fellow Agency member Paul Huntingdon has probably extended his shelf life by a couple years, but he's clearly headed out the door in the next few years.

kingdracon · June 4, 2013

This is awesome already. I've been tempted to do something like this--glad that someone finally is.

NoNeck · June 4, 2013

Thanks for the mention, OJ. I'm always psyched to find that my stuff could inspire someone else creatively.

This project looks great, I love scenario based diaries.

And without a single show posted, I am a huge fan of fat Eric Eisen. The possibilities are golden in a few different storyline directions. It could be a great, different heel gimmick, a flat out comedy gimmick, or a way to turn him babyface as some sort of underdog.

I Love Fat Eric.

3rdStringPG · June 4, 2013

A better entrance theme for 2023 Eric Eisen would definitely be Weird Al Yankovic's parody of MJ's "Bad"...

Big Roguey · June 4, 2013

I smell money & ratings in the Eric Eisen blowaway diet. I've been on it for years and I can feel the weight fly off me!

Oregano Jensen · June 14, 2013

This is not dead. I've been overwhelmed by a project, and I haven't yet scrounged up the rest of the photos onto my Photobucket, but once I have an hour or two to get that done, we'll be rolling along again. Should be some time this weekend...

Oregano Jensen · June 18, 2013

LOWER MIDCARDERS

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/NickBooth_zpsd7ed9da5.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_WhiteMale_009_zps1ad152ec.jpg

Sick and Wrong

Sick Nick Booth

28-year-old heel

Finisher: Sick to Death (Argentine facebuster)

Vile Kyle Caulfield

23-year-old heel

Finisher: Worst Thing '21 (exploder suplex)

Team finisher: Debaser (Argentine backbreaker rack to neckbreaker combination)

Entrance music:

These two have been a tag team for three years. Booth, 28, is a good all-rounder. Caulfield, 23, is a menacing big man whose wild attacks feel convincingly brutal. Booth is by far the more polished worker, but both of them have excellent psychology, really convincingly portraying their sadistic characters. If they keep this up, Booth and Caulfield could be one of the top SWF tag teams some day.

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_WhiteMale_078_zps2f0a88e5.jpg

Giant Cody

SWF Tag Team Champion (with Primus Allen)

21-year-old face

Entrance music:

Finisher: Giant Chokeslam

Only 21 years old, Powell is already a fixture in SWF for an obvious reason: he's 7 feet tall, 440 pounds, and has actual skills. A good but not great brawler, he's got excellent fundamentals, the product of two years at the Supreme Wrestling University and one in RIPW. Shortly after his debut, he teamed up with Primus Allen, who's giving him a lot of training. Cody is still improving, and while he's not special on the mic, a man with his size and talent has a bright future ahead of him -- a fact the SWF acknowledged by giving him a run with the tag titles.

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_MaskedMale_030_zpscbc822f0.jpg

Buffalo Kipp

25-year-old face

Entrance music:

Finisher: Buffalo Stance (striking spear/Gore)

A good young brawler with mic skills, Randall Kipp began his SWF career as a jobber. In 2021, he lost a squash match to Marat Khoklov, being knoked out cold by a massive Russian Legend Powerbomb. When he returned to Supreme TV the next month, Kipp claimed to be in touch with the spirits of the land, especially that of the buffalo. (Important note: Kipp is not Native American. Not even part Native American.)

Donning a semi-ridiculous fuzzy mask, Kipp has gone on to be a bit of a cult fiigure, and one of SWF's hotter prospects. When Huntingdon came in and pruned over a dozen members of the SWF roster, Kipp was one of the few to remain, which has to be a vote of confidence for the young worker.

OPENERS

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_MaskedMale_119_zps33000215.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_MaskedMale_119_zps33000215.jpg

Legion of Death

Mortis

27-year-old heel

Finisher: Hate Crash

Macabre

27-year-old heel

Finisher: Death's Head

Entrance Music:

Mitchell "Mortis" Peterson and Edgar "Macabre" Hunt are the Legion of Death, a heel tag team. They've been together since Supreme Wrestling University days, and both are gifted technicians. (Macabre is the better athlete, and if it ever becomes relevant, Mortis is the better talker.)

Their main claim to fame? In 2022, they faced the Almighty Dollar in no less than 12 pre-show Supreme TV tapings. They also squared off against Remo and Money two times on Supreme TV proper, and even at Awesome Impact 2022. (They went 0-15, naturally... but all of those matches rated between a C and a C+, so it's no wonder it was a popular pre-show call.) They were always low on the card, but with the massive roster cuts, they find themselves pretty much at the bottom of the heap. Still, at least they're on the roster.

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_WhiteMale_012_zpsa25eb10b.jpg

Chris Edge

23-year-old heel

Entrance music:

Finishers: Wipeout (diving DDT)

Road Rash (octopus stretch)

23-year-old Texan Chris "Edge" Monson is a talented mat wrestler with a vaguely defined "extreme sports" gimmick, and probably the most unlikely survivor of the roster cuts. In his four and a half years in SWF, he's defeated Alfred Sherk, Hector St. Pierre, Vernon Wilkes, and Ted Garner three times. Don't bother looking for those workers -- they're not with the company any more. Neither are half of the many, many wrestlers who have beaten Monson. It's really not clear why he bothers to have two finishers. His technical skills are likely to keep him with the company, but his relative lack of charisma is likely to keep him looking up at the lights.

Oregano Jensen · June 18, 2013

NON-WRESTLERS

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JerryEisen_ager_zpsa0528ab1.jpg

Jerry Eisen, commissioner

Eisen, the real-life owner of the company, also plays that role on broadcasts. He's generally been portrayed as a good boss, legitimately trying to uphold fairness in SWF, though he's occasionally been criticized for being too lenient toward cheaters. This is especially relevant to his brother Eric, who's gotten away with a few things that Jerry would normally pounce on had another wrestler done them.

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/DuaneFry_alt1_zps965b7045.jpg

Duane Fry, announcer

The long-time announcer for SWF isn't the easiest man to work with backstage, and he's got legitimate heat with Marat Khoklov. The good news is, he's the best announcer in wrestling today. Following the retirement of Peter Michaels and the demotion of Marv Earnest to Ohio, Fry announces every show for the company.

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JoeSexy_alt3jt_zps5689fb21.jpg

Joe Money, color commentator

After leaving SWF in late 2013 and making an unsuccessful attempt to revive his career in the indies, Joe Sexy retired from active competition. A few years later, he returned to SWF as Joe Money, a figure in the Rich Money-Remo feud that dominated the 2018-19 year.

Rich Money had turned face, vowing to use his personal wealth for charitable purposes. Remo, deprived of his Almighty Dollar ally, attempted to replace him with a manager -- the over-the-top Joe Money. After a string of double-crosses and brilliant bouts, Remo too saw the light and joined his former partner as a fan favorite, leaving Joe without a client, but he soon joined the announce team.

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/EmmaChase_alt4jt_zpsd25787b7.jpg

Emma Chase, manager

Emma Chase is very attractive for a 46-year-old woman, but the reason she's still the top manager in America is her brilliant mic skills. The hard-driving boss of the Chase Agency is the only manager in the company, and the only woman appearing on screen -- both of which are likely to change soon, but she'll still be the best. Do Brandon James, Paul Huntingdon and Jack "Rogue" Giedroyc even need a manager? Sure, they're all compelling speakers, but Emma is on another level.

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/EdMonton_zps2fdec3bb.jpg

Ed Monton, road agent

It's Paul Huntingdon's first signing! Barry "Runaway Train" Bowen is a legend and a great guy, but he's not an absolute master of psychology. We kicked him down to an on-screen commissioner role in our new developmental promotion and brought in Monton, an even nicer guy who's forgotten more about wrestling than you know. There were only a few true prizes out there following the collapse of CGC in late 2021, and Monton is one of them.

http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RicYoung_zpse89a2da6.jpg

Ric Young, referee

Young is our only ref, and he's a damn good one. We'll be bringing in another ref shortly. There's not much else to say here.

Oregano Jensen · June 18, 2013

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/DuaneFry_alt1_zps965b7045.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JoeSexy_alt3jt_zps5689fb21.jpg "Ladies and gentlemen, this... is... SWF Supreme TV! I'm Duane Fry, and this is Joe Money, and we're coming to you live from the Friedman Building in San Antonio for a very interesting night of wrestling action. It's the last show before SWF When Hell Freezes Over, and we've got some of the biggest stars in the Supreme Wrestling Federation coming out to play. Stick around, and you'll see Angry Gilmore challenge Captain Atomic." "You know, Duane, I've got one thing to say about Angry Gilmore. Some people don't like his style, they think he's arrogant, but I'll tell you this. Gilmore is facing Remo Richardson next week at When Hell Freezes Over. How many wrestlers would be willing to take on a top-tier guy like Captain Atomic the week before a match like that? Angry Gilmore asked for this match, because Angry Gilmore is a fighter. Angry Gilmore loves a challenge." "Well, it should be a great bout between two of the best in the business. And speaking of the best, Jack Bruce attempts to extend his record to SIX World Title runs next week. You'll see him taking on Brandon James in a steel cage -- but tonight, he challenges John Greed." "Duane, I'm going to say something, and this is not about John Greed, and this is not about Brandon James. Jack Bruce is a fifty-year-old man. How can Jerry Eisen stand by and let him compete in a steel cage match -- the deadliest challenge in wrestling? Against a man a hundred pounds heavier than him? I'm afraid for Jack Bruce, I really am. He's a legend, but I want to bring up Money Rule No. 12. Quit while you're ahead." "Sounds like you're underestimating Jack Bruce, Joe -- let me tell you something. I've been here longer than you, and that's a big mistake. He may not be the biggest guy in the ring, he may not look tough, but there's a reason he's a five-time World Champion. The man thrives... under pressure." "I'm not doubting his heart -- really, I'm not. But Jack Bruce should be able to enjoy his retirement, and after this cage match, I just hope he won't be doing it from a wheelchair." "All right -- we've also got the Chase Agency against Lassana Makutsi and Randy Bumfhole, that's a preview of Paul Huntingdon's singles match against Makutsi at Hell. We've got the Big Tickets defending their tag titles against the Legion of Death. We've got Des Davids against The Ladies' Man, Roger Cage. And speaking of ladies' men, we're starting off with the original ladies' man, Fred Garcia. He'll be challenging Eric Eisen for the North American title next Thursday, but right now, he faces Chris Edge."</div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/FrederiqueGarcia_zps5487ea9c.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_WhiteMale_012_zpsa25eb10b.jpg FRED GARCIA vs. CHRIS EDGE It's safe to say this match was not the best way to start 2023. Edge has some talent in the ring, but the fans just aren't going for him -- his "extreme sports" gimmick would've seemed outdated in the '90s, and just reeks of middle-aged writers trying to be "cool". Worse, he manages to throw into relief how strained Fred Garcia's character is at this point -- he's trying to be a hip guy, but he's twice Edge's age, and he just looks old out there. The fact that everyone knows Edge is a jobber doesn't help -- this match is a foregone conclusion, and when Garcia hits the Romeo Roll, it follows five distinctly unbalanced minutes. Fred Garcia defeats Chris Edge by pinfall. Match time: 5:01. MATCH GRADE: D <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RemoRichardsonALT_zpsbbe7fae0.jpg Remo takes the mic to the wild applause of the fans, and sets about hyping up his PPV match against Angry Gilmore. "Hey, Gilmore. Why you so angry, old man? You want me to... get off your lawn? ell, I know you're scared. I know you're desperate. You think you can prepare for me by facing Captain Atomic? Man, you're crazy. Yeah, Atomic is pretty good, but that ain't nothin' new. I got two neutron bombs -- my right and my left. And once I hit you with 'em, ain't no one gonna be left standing. You CAN'T prepare for Remo. Remo is a whole other thing." The crowd joins him in his catchphrase... "And you KNOW that." ANGLE GRADE: B</div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/PrimusAllen-1_zps7f9e94ef.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_WhiteMale_078_zps2f0a88e5.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_MaskedMale_119_zps33000215.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_MaskedMale_119_zps33000215.jpg THE BIG TICKETS vs. LEGION OF DEATH The Big Tickets make the first defense of their tag titles, and they look pretty good out there against the overmatched Legion of Death. Primus Allen in particular makes a strong showing, powering out of multiple holds by the more experienced team, and generally using his strength to impose his will on the ghoulish heel duo. The announcers do their best to put over the fearsome force of the Big Tickets, and the Legion sells Primus and Cody's moves well, but it's clear the fans aren't that interested -- they're not opposed to anyone in the match, the way they were with Edge, but nothing about the fight really captures their imagination. Next up for the Big Tickets: Sick and Wrong at the PPV. The Big Tickets defeat the Legion of Death by pinfall (Giant Cody on Macabre). Match time: 8:19. MATCH GRADE: D- http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/LassanaMakutsi_alt2_zpsc8b914d2.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RandyBumfholeALT_zps706b2460.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/PaulHuntingdon-1_zps1658a66f.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/Rogue_zpscf751459.jpg with http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/EmmaChase_alt4jt_zpsd25787b7.jpg LASSANA MAKUTSI and RANDY BUMFHOLE vs. THE CHASE AGENCY For a match billed as a Huntingdon-Makutsi preview, the most notable thing about this one is how little those two shared the ring. Makutsi clearly preferred to fight Rogue, and Huntingdon tagged in to face Bumfhole. (Guess they don't want to give too much away.) This was a good, open match between four solid workers on roughly the same spot in the card, though if I was being brutally honest, I'd say that Rogue contributed less than the other three. Even in a ten-minute tag match, he looked out of breath by the end. Speaking of the end, it came when Emma Chase tripped Bumfhole near the ropes, allowing Huntingdon to quickly ascend to the turnbuckle and hit a High Society (Missile Dropkick) for the pin. The established tag team defeats the one-time pairing, and Huntingdon has to be feeling good about his chances against Makutsi at When Hell Freezes Over. The Chase Agency defeats Makutsi and Bumfhole by pinfall (Huntingdon on Bumfhole) MATCH GRADE: C <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JoeSexy_alt3jt_zps5689fb21.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/BigCatBrandon_alt3_zpsce86264a.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/EmmaChase_alt4jt_zpsd25787b7.jpg Joe Money is at ringside with Emma Chase and Brandon James. JOE: "Emma! Congratulation on your team's win just now -- you're here with the World Champion, Brandon Chase. You're facing Jack Bruce in a cage match next week -- can you tell us about your gameplan?" EMMA: "Well, it's simple -- Brandon has to break him, and he wants to break him. So that's the goal. Break Jack Bruce." JOE: "So you're confident?" EMMA: "We are, Joe. You know when you were a manager, you used to say, 'show me the money?' Well, that's what we're waiting for. We're waiting to see the money, and we haven't seen it from Jack Bruce. He won last month on a technicality, but he hasn't proven that he has the power to take down a guy like Brandon, or the resilience to stand in the ring with him. And when that ring turns into a cage, we think his problems will just increase. We'll be watching tonight's match closely -- but I think we've seen enough to know that Bruce is no longer a champion. He just doesn't have much left to show us." Brandon nods. JOE: "So you're saying that you think Jack Bruce is done?" BRANDON: "If he's not now, he will be when I get through with him." ANGLE GRADE: B- DUANE FRY: "Is this really the end for the legendary Jack Bruce? Find out next Thursday at When Hell Freezes Over, live at the Oregon Gardens, or call your local cable provider."</div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RogerCage_zps5a5d68f2.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/DesDavids_alt2_zpsaa7d4835.jpg ROGER CAGE vs, DES DAVIDS Davids has always been a dominant physical specimen, but in the last couple years, he's developed a real clinical edge to his work. That all-business approach really showed tonight, from the first bell. Cage was playing to the crowd, and Davids practically knocked him out of his boots with a vicious shoulder block. Cage never really recovered from the initial assault -- he eventually managed to roll out of the ring and collect himself for a second, but Davids just used that time to re-set himself for another attack. The Quarterback Sack and the pin followed at the five-and-a-half minute mark. If Rich Money is watching this somewhere, he has to be worried. Des Davids defeats Roger Cage by pinfall. Match time: 5:37. MATCH GRADE: C <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JackBruce_alt4_zps43dfd3dc.jpg Jack Bruce enters the ring to the loudest crowd pop of the night. The legendary champion isn't the worker he once was, but the fans still love him, and they know that they may not have all the time in the world to see him like this, at the top of his game. For his part, Bruce appears to relish the enthusiasm of the crowd, high-fiving fans and waving all the way down the aisle as the Rolling Stones' "Heartbreaker" plays. It's almost as though it was 1999 again... or 2007... or 2018. ANGLE GRADE: B-</div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JackBruce_alt4_zps43dfd3dc.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JohnGreedALT_zps1c120ee7.jpg JACK BRUCE vs. JOHN GREED Sadly, here's the flipside to that nostalgia: Bruce struggled to make it through eight minutes against a second-tier opponent. He didn't botch any moves, and he certainly performed with his usual flair, but the pace of the match could charitably be described as plodding. This isn't the Bruce they'll put on the DVD retrospective, but the fans in the arena didn't seem to care, shouting their lungs out for their hero and erupting with an ovation when he landed the New York Minute. Jack Bruce defeats John Greed by pinfall. Match time: 8:20. MATCH GRADE: C- <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JoeSexy_alt3jt_zps5689fb21.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RichMoney_zps3d5cd5b7.jpg Joe Money is ringside again, talking to Rich Money (no relation). RICH: "Hi there, new Money." JOE: "I'm not here for jokes, Rich. I'm here to talk about your pledge. You've said that, if you lose to Des Davids at When Hell Freezes Over, you'll donate ten thousand dollars to charity." RICH: "Yes, that's true. And let me say that, if I do lose, it'll certainly be When Hell Freezes Over." JOE: "So... you saw Des Davids in action just a few minutes ago. You have any... misgivings?" RICH: "No -- should I?" JOE: "Well, one. I know you're a... philanthropist these days." RICH: "Yes, I am, Joe. What you don't understand is, money only matters when you use it, and I intend to use it to help the orphans of Portland, Oregon." JOE: "But you're going to try to beat Des Davids on Thursday?" RICH: "Of course." JOE: "And take the money out of those orphans' hands." RICH: "What?" JOE: "Well, if you lose, the orphans get the money. If you win... they get nothing." RICH: "You're right, Joe -- and that's why I wanted to announce that, if I beat Des Davids at When Hell Freezes Over, I'm going to increase my donation... to $20,000." JOE: "That's a lot of money." RICH: "I'm sure it is... to you. I'm good for it. And Joe? I know you don't want to root for me next week. But... at least do it for the children." ANGLE GRADE: B- </div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/AtomSmasher1_zpsefd629fe.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/AngryGilmore_Alt2_zpsb4a25bdb.jpg CAPTAIN ATOMIC vs. ANGRY GILMORE There's a reason this was the main event. As long as he sticks to his radiocative superhero gimmick -- and he's shown no signs of abandoning it -- Captain Atomic will never be a main eventer in SWF. But he can always put on a damn good match, especially against an elite performer like Gilmore. In fact, this would have been an even better show if Gilmore hadn't been a little off his game... he botched a couple spots, one pretty badly, but looked great for the rest of the 15-minute match. It's no real surprise that Gilmore wins this one, but unlike a lot of the pre-PPV squashes that preceded the main event, this was a close match with plenty of action on both sides, including a mighty roundhouse kick from the Captain that almost put Gilmore down at the 11-minute mark. But Gilmore battled back to beat the superhero clean with an Anger Management at 15:01. The announce team hypes up Gilmore's battle with Remo next week -- which is sure to be even more of a knock-down, drag-out affair than this. Angry Gilmore wins by pinfall. Match time: 15:01. MATCH GRADE: B- SHOW GRADE: C+

Oregano Jensen · June 18, 2013

So that's the first Supreme TV of 2023 -- the go-home show for When Hell Freezes Over. I decided to just put it up, because I want to get moving here, and it doesn't exactly make sense to solicit predictions for the first show. I'll be posting the PPV in 12 hours or so... I'll offer up the lineup for predictions, but won't start counting them officially until the Jan.-Feb. month begins. (I'll be counting months as ending with the PPV.) After that, I'm going to be trying to get shows up every 2-3 days, with features on the history of wrestling 2013-2022 and other topics between shows. The prediction page will feature the opening segment of the show, followed by the competitors (listed face/heel, alphabetically sorted if needed, as usual.) For example... <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/DuaneFry_alt1_zps965b7045.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JoeSexy_alt3jt_zps5689fb21.jpg DUANE: "Ladies and gentlemen of Portland, this is... When Hell Freezes Over! I'm Duane Fry, and with me is the Money Man, Joe Money. We've got a capacity crowd of 15,000 here at the Oregon Gardens, and they're buzzing over the main event. Brandon James defends his SWF title against the rock legend, the Heartbreaker, Jack Bruce." JOE: "Bruce is an icon, maybe the greatest wrestler to step into the SWF ring. I'll give him that. But at his age? I just don't see him able to withstand the punshment of a steel cage match. I'm going to tell you, Duane, I just don't see it." DUANE: "It'll be a test for sure. And speaking of tests, Remo faces off against Angry Gilmore. Now, Gilmore is riding high after beating Captain Atomic last week, but Remo may be the toughest man in the SWF. It's gonna be a barnstormer, ladies and gents. Also, Rich Money takes on Des Davids, and I'd like to welcome the boys and girls of the Beaverton Orphanage, sitting ringside with James Carruthers, the head of the orphanage. Money has pledged $20,000 to the orphanage if he wins, and $10,000 if he loses." JOE: "Yeah, yeah, he's a regular Fray Valiente. Listen, I know Money is engaged in a publicity hunt, but Davids is doing only one thing tonight: preparing to beat Rich Money." DUANE: "We've also got Eric Eisen defending his North American title against Fred Garcia, and the Big Tickets defending their tag titles for the second straight week against Sick and Wrong. We hear the Big Tickets have a new manager, but they've been keeping the details under wraps." JOE: "Sure, sure... everyone's just DYING to know what the Big Tickets are up to. And, for the matter, who they are and why we should care. If you want to talk about managers, I say you talk about Emma Chase, whose Chase Agency is still at the top. Brandon James is defending his title tonight, and Paul Huntingdon squares off against Lassana Makutsi. I like both of them -- James is bigger, stronger and younger than Bruce, and we just saw Huntingdon beat Makutsi in a tag match." DUANE: "Well, I'm going to cut this short right now, because Angry Gilmore is walking to the ring, and you know you don't want to interrupt him. It's going to be a great night of wrestling!" </div></blockquote> WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER PREDICTIONS Rich Money vs. Des Davids The Big Tickets vs. Sick and Wrong (for the Big Tickets' SWF Tag titles) Lassana Makutsi vs. Paul Huntingdon Fred Garcia vs. Eric Eisen (for Eisen's SWF North American title) Remo vs. Angry Gilmore Jack Bruce vs. Brandon James (cage match for James' SWF World title) BONUS QUESTION 1: Who is the Big Tickets' new manager? (HINT: He or she is a manager for one of the top three American promotions in 2013.) BONUS QUESTION 2: Two wrestlers not involved in the main event will, at some point during the show, claim to deserve the next title shot. Half-point for each.

3rdStringPG · June 18, 2013

Angry Gilmore's working two matches on the same night? I think it should be Money vs Davids. Just clarifying...in any case, I'm glad to see the diary back up and ready to predict! <img alt="" data-src="//content.invisioncic.com/g322608/emoticons/biggrin.png.929299b4c121f473b0026f3d6e74d189.png" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /> Very promising start so far.

WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER PREDICTIONS

Rich Money vs. Des Davids

- The orphans don't get the money and a feud is set up between both Moneymen.

The Big Tickets vs. Sick and Wrong (for the Big Tickets' SWF Tag titles)

- No reason for the champs to lose the belts this early on.

Lassana Makutsi vs. Paul Huntingdon

- Huntingdon was once World Heavyweight champ. Makutsi is still struggling to break out in his mid-30s.

Fred Garcia vs. Eric Eisen (for Eisen's SWF North American title)

- Fat Eric is still more plausible with a title than Fred, who's definitely on the wrong side of 40.

Remo vs. Angry Gilmore

- The Alpha Dog's gone huntin'...he's younger, I'd assume he isn't in serious time decline yet, and the babyfaces need a big win to prevent this from being a heel-dominated evening.

Jack Bruce vs. Brandon James

- So this is a Gramps vs Gramps cage match? In that case, I'm going with the safe choice - champion retains on the year's first PPV.

BONUS QUESTION 1: Who is the Big Tickets' new manager? (HINT: He or she is a manager for one of the top three American promotions in 2013.) Dawn the Avatar, er...Cheerleader

BONUS QUESTION 2: Two wrestlers not involved in the main event will, at some point during the show, claim to deserve the next title shot. Half-point for each. Angry Gilmore and Remo.

CageRage · June 18, 2013

WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER PREDICTIONS

Rich Money vs. Angry Gilmore

The Big Tickets vs. Sick and Wrong (for the Big Tickets' SWF Tag titles)

Lassana Makutsi vs. Paul Huntingdon

Fred Garcia vs. Eric Eisen (for Eisen's SWF North American title)

Remo vs. Angry Gilmore

Jack Bruce vs. Brandon James (for James' SWF World title)

BONUS QUESTION 1: Who is the Big Tickets' new manager? (HINT: He or she is a manager for one of the top three American promotions in 2013.) Hannah

BONUS QUESTION 2: Two wrestlers not involved in the main event will, at some point during the show, claim to deserve the next title shot. Half-point for each. Rich Money and Angry Gilmore

Oregano Jensen · June 18, 2013

Yes. Money vs. Davids, Remo vs. Gilmore. Sorry about that -- it's fixed. Also specified that Bruce-James was a cage match, which was stated in the preview but not the predictions. No other stipulations on the card.

Oregano Jensen · June 19, 2013

And now... SWF When Hell Freezes Over. <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/AngryGilmore_Alt2_zpsb4a25bdb.jpg "Shot By Both Sides" plays as the Iconoclast, Angry Gilmore, enters the ring. "PORTLAAAAAAND! Why... is this place? I stepped off that plane, and I felt that cold wind blowing in from the mountains, and I saw mile after mile of boring suburban landscape, and now I know why they call this night When Hell Freezes Over. But enough. I've got more important thorns in my side. Remo Richardson!" http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RemoRichardsonALT_zpsbbe7fae0.jpg Remo appears on the apron. REMO: "What's up, old man?" GILMORE: "Old? I'm only four years older than you! And might I point out, I treat my body like a damn temple. Not that you'd know about that, with your malt liquor." REMO: "Hey, hey, hey, man. That's racist." GILMORE: "No, that's the truth. I've seen you drink that stuff like water." REMO: "What? I am the Alpha Dog. I drink only the finest wines." GILMORE: "But you still get drunk, you barbarian." REMO: "I oughta beat you down right now, man." GILMORE: "I'm sure you'd like to. But let's wait for our match. You can try then, and fail, and drown your sorrows in... what? Malt liquor. My point." REMO: "Man, you just keep talking. You keep runnin' your mouth. Just making it easier for me to bust your ass tonight." ANGLE GRADE: B+</div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RichMoney_zps3d5cd5b7.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/DesDavids_alt2_zpsaa7d4835.jpg RICH MONEY vs. DES DAVIDS Remo's already out here, so he settles into a ringside seat to watch his friend Rich Money take on Des Davids. He gets to see a great fight -- one of the best SWF opening bouts in a long time. The announcers, meanwhile, get to point out the similarities between Davids and Remo -- both of them are absurdly strong and fast workers with football backgrounds, who have developed into no-nonsense killing machines in the ring. Money, of course, has always been more interested in playing to the crowd -- which includes the young residents of the Beaverton Orphanage, who are frantically cheering him on. Money fights with the guile of a long-time heel, dodging and countering Davids at every turn... it's an insanely close match until the 20-minute mark, with Money maybe pulling a bit ahead. Then Jay Chord strides down the ramp -- Money turns his head as he approaches the ringside area -- Davids scoops him up and deposits him on the canvas for the standing spinebuster he calls the Quarterback Sack! 1-2-3... it's over! Chord, meanwhile, settles nonchalantly into a front-row seat right next to Remo. Des Davids defeats Rich Money by pinfall. Match time: 20:26. MATCH GRADE: B- <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>DUANE FRY: "You may talk about no nonsense, but Davids and Chord just pulled ONE bit of nonsense, and it was enough to win them the match!" JOE MONEY: "Oh, don't pin this on Chord. He was coming down to the front row at the end. If he can't do that, Remo can't sit there for the whole match." DUANE: "I guess that's how they get out of it. And Davids takes the win, but I think Rich Money is not satisfied with how that match ended..." Sure enough, Rich Money has called for the mic. The orphans, and the head of the orphanage, file into the ring. RICH: "Listen up, Jay Chord and Des Davids. I know what you were going for there -- I kept an eye on you, Jay, and Des took full advantage. If I had stayed focused on Des, you would have interfered. Like Remo says, I KNOW that. Can't prove it, of course, so you got this one. But this is not over. And I have to ask you, how do you feel stealing money out of orphans' hands? "Well, forget all that. As far as I'm concerned, I won that fight before you won it. So that's $20,000 for me winning, $10,000 for you winning... that makes $30,000. Remo, bring me BOTH the checks." The crowd applauds as Money presents two oversized novelty checks to the orphanage. The villains may have triumphed, but some good came out of the match... ANGLE GRADE: B-</div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/PrimusAllen-1_zps7f9e94ef.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_WhiteMale_078_zps2f0a88e5.jpg with http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/Jessie_zps0f3877c5.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/NickBooth_zpsd7ed9da5.jpghttp://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/CVFP_WhiteMale_009_zps1ad152ec.jpg ©THE BIG TICKETS w/JESSIE vs. SICK AND WRONG for the Tag Team Titles The Big Tickets rise up to the ring, and they're joined by a familiar face -- Jessie! Last seen in an SWF ring in 2021 as the manager for Brett Biggins and Roger Cage, it seems she's back with the new tag champions. She's still a very popular face in SWF, and the crowd is glad to see her. Sadly, that seems to be the only source of excitement for the fans, who still aren't interested in the tag division. Everyone performs well, but the heat is clearly off. Primus Allen gets the win with his patented running powerslam on Booth, making the second defense of the tag titles. The Big Tickets defeat Sick and Wrong by pinfall (Primus Allen over Sick Nick Booth). Match time: 9:44. MATCH GRADE: D <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>As the ring clears after the tag match, Duane and Joe comment on Jack Bruce's legendary career and his chase for his sixth SWF title -- with clips from some of his most legendary wins, his disputed loss to Brandon James in November, and his DQ win against James in December. Joe Money stresses that this is do or die time for Bruce -- with no interference possible through the cage, and no disqualifications, whoever loses tonight has no excuse. ANGLE GRADE: B-</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/FrederiqueGarcia_zps5487ea9c.jpg Fred Garcia saunters down to the ring, shaking hands and flashing his famous smile to the crowd. He's still chuckling as he climbs into the ring and takes the mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Bruce. The legendary Jack Bruce. But he's not the only champion in the ring tonight. I give you... Eric Eisen, A Massive Legacy." The Jumbotron shows a picture of Eric Eisen's world title victory over Jack Bruce in 2009 -- the iconic picture of the Supremacist looming over a fallen Bruce. "Used to be, when Eric Eisen entered the ring, his opponents were afraid. That's Jack Bruce, if you can believe it. Don't worry, Jack, we still respect you. Nowadays, though, Eric Eisen mostly strikes fear into the hearts of restaurants." On the Jumbotron, a Photoshopped picture of Eric Eisen towering over a buffet. "He's fought some of the SWF's greatest heroes, including Captain Atomic... Jungle Lord... and this enormous Italian hero." Eric Eisen, circa 2012, suplexing Danny Fonzarelli. "Also this one." The same picture, with Fonzarelli replaced by a six-foot hero sandwich. "For the last year, Eric Eisen has been the champion of North America. Which doesn't seem fair, because he's BIGGER than North America. Tonight, though, I'm going to end Eisen's reign. Well, unless he eats me. Please don't eat me, Eric!" ANGLE GRADE: B</div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/LassanaMakutsi_alt2_zpsc8b914d2.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/PaulHuntingdon-1_zps1658a66f.jpg with http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/EmmaChase_alt4jt_zpsd25787b7.jpg LASSANA MAKUTSI vs. PAUL HUNTINGDON w/Emma Chase Makutsi is really up for this one, bounding across the ring and hitting high-energy running attacks on the more sedate Huntingdon. The Blue Blood is known as a cerebral wrestler, a guy who lets his opponent come to him and waits for mistakes, but even when Makutsi looks a bit raw, he's just overwhelming Huntingdon athletically. Emma Chase is at the sideline, waiting until the ref is looking the other way -- she's trying to grab Makutsi's ankle, like she did to Bumfhole last week! But Makutsi is ready for it! He leaps up, out of the reach of Emma -- and flips forward! Front flip kick straight to the head of Huntingdon, who was rushing in to take advantage of the interference! Huntingdon is out cold -- the ref doesn't even need to count, but he does anyway! Lassana Makutsi beats Paul Huntingdon by pinfall. Match time: 12:48. MATCH GRADE: C http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/FrederiqueGarcia_zps5487ea9c.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/EricEisen3_zps179dbd92.jpg FRED GARCIA vs. © ERIC EISEN for the SWF North American title. And now: this. We knew it was going to be bad, but we didn't realize it would be this bad. Eisen was huffing and puffing from minute 3 or so. Garcia had to carry the match, and he's barely equal to 9 minutes in the ring himself. After several minutes of flailing, Eisen whips out a set of brass knuckles and clocks Garcia in the head, ending the worst PPV match the SWF has seen in a long time. Eric Eisen beats Fred Garcia by pinfall. Match time: 9:25. MATCH GRADE: D- <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Garcia is furious. He jumps up, and calls for commissioner Jerry Eisen. FRED: "Come on, Jerry! Where's the ref here? Where's the fairness? He hit me with brass knuckles! You HAVE to realize that your idiot brother is destroying the credibility of this title!" http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JerryEisen_ager_zpsa0528ab1.jpg JERRY: "I'm sorry, Fred. I didn't see anything. the ref didn't see anything." FRED: "Look at the tape! You have instant replay, right?" ERIC: "Face it, Garcia. You're shot. Just because you went down like you got hit by brass knuckles, that doesn't mean I hit you with brass knuckles. You can call me fat, but I've got heavy hands." FRED: "This isn't over!" ANGLE GRADE: C</div></blockquote> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/SteveFrehley_alt1-1_zps301f8622.jpg Here's Steve Frehley, in a pre-taped backstage segment. "Been a long time, SWF. Six months ago, Gilmore and Nicky Champion sold me out. My former friends. Jumped me backstage right before my title fight. Well, I took out Gilmore last month... that leaves you, Nicky. Time for some payback. I'm calling you out -- on Supreme TV, at Nothing To Lose, in the parking lot tonight. I... don't... care. You name the time, you name the place. But until you do... I'm on you. Everywhere you go, everything you do, you ain't escaping. I don't care what you have to say no more... just want to beat you down. Because Nicky Champion... you ain't shit." ANGLE GRADE: B-</div></blockquote> http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RemoRichardsonALT_zpsbbe7fae0.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/AngryGilmore_Alt2_zpsb4a25bdb.jpg REMO vs. ANGRY GILMORE We expected something good here, and these two delivered. Remo and Gilmore have always had excellent chemistry, and while this wasn't their greatest faceoff, it was plenty good for Match of the Night honors. Gilmore kept Remo grounded early, relying on his technical skill to bring the bigger man down to the mat. But again and again, Remo broke free, peppering Gilmore with hard strikes and throws. As the match continues, the holds got tighter and the throws got harder, until Gilmore attempts an Anger Management on Remo. The bigger man just grabs Gilmore right back, lifts him up, and annihilates him with the Destroyer. Remo wins a great match... which probably should have been the main event. Remo defeats Angry Gilmore by pinfall (Destroyer). Match time: 21:03. MATCH GRADE: B http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JackBruce_alt4_zps43dfd3dc.jpg vs. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/BigCatBrandon_alt3_zpsce86264a.jpg with http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/EmmaChase_alt4jt_zpsd25787b7.jpg JACK BRUCE vs. © BRANDON JAMES w/Emma Chase in a cage match for the SWF World Heavyweight Title This is the end, really. The end of Jack Bruce's main event career, and the end of Peter Michaels' booking career. The Almighty Dollar-Chord and Davids feud Michaels orchestrated will continue pretty much as planned. The Frehley-Champion faceoff was expected after the end of the Frehley-Gilmore program, though I'm taking it in my own direction. The success of the talking segments in the Garcia-Eisen feud, and the abject failure of the actual match between the two, has strengthened my resolve to give that story a sharp turn before it's even really begun. But Bruce's chase for James' title was the big story of the first half of the SWF year, the six months after Supreme Challenge, and now it is over, in a way that ensures that it will not come back for an encore. Because not even James looked good out there. This was a slow, sloppy match, even before the wrestlers started wearing down. The crowd was into it well enough, but it was clear they were more excited by what the match represented than by the action in the cage. After 20 minutes that seemed like more, James hurled Bruce into the side of the cage, then to the mat, with a Big Money Move. Bruce was down and out as James slowly lumbered up the side of the cage, then down on the other side. Emma Chase returned the belt to James's hands as the five-time champion lay beaten and exhausted on the canvas, unable to even rise. A shameful sight. Brandon James defeats Jack Bruce by cage escape. Match time: 19:53. MATCH GRADE: C- <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="36204" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>As James celebrates, a figure appeared at the top of the aisle. "Epic" kicks in on the speakers. It's Jay Chord, and he slow-claps all the way down the aisle. http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JayChord_zps5f905bcc.jpg JAY: "Congratulations, Brandon James. You've won the Old-Timers' Game. Guess what's next? That's right... the future. No more beating up on senior citizens and acting like that makes you the champion." Jay turns to Jack Bruce with mock concern. JAY: "Hi, Jack. How you holding up? Want to get out of that cage? Well, climb." http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/DesDavids_alt2_zpsaa7d4835.jpg Des Davids has arrived ringside, and is standing at the door of the cage, keeping Ric Young from unlocking it. JAY: "Just climb. You're alone, nobody's going to stop you... get out. Oh, you can't? You afraid of heights? Funny." BRANDON JAMES: "What do you want?" JAY: "Do you know what I've done in this company? I had the best record in SWF last year. I beat almost everybody. And this is not the first year I've earned a title shot. But you know what? I've never GOT a title shot. That changes now." http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/RemoRichardsonALT_zpsbbe7fae0.jpg Suddenly everyone, even a woozy Jack Bruce, turns. "Chief Rocka" -- that's Remo's music! REMO: "Sheeeeeeeiiiiiiiiit, son, really?" JAY: "You?" REMO: "The one and only. The way I see it, you're steppin' to the wrong guy. You just saw me beat down on Angry Gilmore. You might have seen me beat down on you too at Let the Games Begin... though from the way you fought, maybe you DIDN'T see me. You definitely saw me drop your goon on his damn head at Christmas Clash -- that's why you ran away like a punk. No damn way you get a title shot before me. No. Damn. Way." Remo is right in Jay's face by now. JAY: "Really? Seems like you're too busy helping Rich Money bribe a bunch of kids. What, you guys forgot how to bribe the refs, like you did back at Supreme Challenge 37?" Remo is furious -- he hates it when anyone brings up his heelish past. Quicker than anyone can react, he grabs Chord by the back of the head and smacks his face into the side of the cage. A trickle of blood dribbles from Chord's forehead. EMMA CHASE: "Would you two settle down? It's not your decision who faces Mr. James next!" JAY: "Shut up, you old hag! It's mine! I've waited too long for this!" Chord shoves Emma to the ground. The crowd gasps. James grabs Jay. Davids grabs James. Rich Money comes sprinting down to the apron. Remo is pulling, James is clubbing someone in the face, Davids is down, someone kicked Money in the crotch... it's mayhem at the Oregon Gardens! Ref Ric Young is blowing his whistle! The security guards are out, and so is Jerry Eisen! http://i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag21/oreganoj/JerryEisen_ager_zpsa0528ab1.jpg[/img] JERRY EISEN: All right, you people listen up. What the hell was that? This is a disgrace! If everyone doesn't get backstage IMMEDIATELY, you're suspended for a month! So the PPV ends on a chaotic scene: Young and the guards usher everyone backstage. Remo and Chord are still jawing at each other, James is walking protectively in front of his manager... and Jack Bruce, five-time SWF World Champion, stands dazed and beaten in the middle of the cage, unable to get himself out, and with no one to unlock the door. ANGLE GRADE: B+</div></blockquote> SHOW GRADE: C+

Oregano Jensen · June 19, 2013

Predictions post mortem:

3rdStringPG: 5.5/6 (5/6 + 0.5 bonus)

CageRage: 4/6 (3/6 + 1 bonus)

Doesn't mean much, really... there's not much established history to draw on, so it's a lot of guessing.

Basically, my goal this time was to set up a new headlining feud to replace the DOA James/Bruce one... remember what I said before about not hesitating to book a low-rated match if it serves the story? Well, there's our first. Or our second, because I guess Garcia-Eisen was earlier in the night.

Anyway, putting Remo and Chord into the thick of a title chase is definitely putting our best foot forward. Remo is our no-contest top face right now, and he delivers what he draws. Chord may be even more talented, he's our youngest main event draw, and shamefully, he hasn't even been in a title storyline.

Other than that... not much to say. The tag and NA titles are going to be a ratings problem for us, but as we build them up/relocate them to better workers, it may not even hurt to have a couple of reasons to put a lower-ranked bathroom break type match in the midcard. Money-Davids as the opening match was a bit of a giveaway, and not just to those orphans... could easily have been a main event. But here we are.

As for Makutsi-Huntingdon, no reason it couldn't have gone the other way. Actually, given a couple of the storylines I'm weaving in March, I kind of wish it had. Oh well... at least I didn't do something impossible to explain away, like having Angry Gilmore cheat or something.

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