Navigating the Skummiverse: Beer, Babes and a little Bill Watts

[Chuck]

Am using the alternate 1985 Universe Mod the Skummiverse for this game. Little details will be revealed through my meetings with Watts about other occurences in the universe

 

Chapter 1: Oklahoma

 

March 1985 was quite the month for me . I had been a programming intern at "Sports Channel America" for one year. Making really small amounts of money and not really getting to do anything but decide where to put what commercial where during the commercial breaks on certain shows. It was scheduled to be a one year internship and I'd more than likely get hired on to continue doing the same job at MAYBE a little more pay. That's what a business degree at your local community college will get you... A job that decides "Do I show the commercial for McDonalds now or after the next commercial?". I was a miserable son of a gun working but I really had no other choice.

 

My boss had called me into his office... I knew what was going on... I told myself "I've been here for a year. He wants to hire me on full time and keep me at the same job". Before I could get one word out he asked me a simple but yet remarkably surprising question "Kid are you aware that the WWF is about to have a Sylvester Stallone wrestle a match this weekend?"... Of course I knew... the WWF was holding it's first Wrestlemania this weekend featuring Roddy Piper and Terry Funk against Sylvester Stallone and WWF Champion Kerry Von Erich. It had been covered by the news channels and plastered all over MTV... I stuttered "Y-y-y-yes sir. I'm aware."... He continued "Good then you must know that since this "Wrestling Mania" has hit with the WWF and MTV... It's killing our ratings on our wrestling show "Power Pro Wrestling" which features Bill Watts and his "Universal Wrestling Federation". Watts provides us with one hour of quality television every week. Watts has told us that he wants to start the move towards running all across the USA and is wanting to have LIVE television at a time other than Sunday Afternoon. Kid what do you think of that?"

 

I had been watching Watts' Power Pro Wrestling since I got hired at the station... This was one of those moments where I knew I might escape having to program comercials "Watts has a roster loaded with some really heavy hitters and guys that as far as being in the ring go... outshine what the WWF is trying to do. It's just good old fashioned Southern wrestling. I've been a wrestling fan my entire life sir and with the right direction as far as marketing, some new stars and stories go.. Watts could be a really big threat at a larger level"

 

My boss leaned his chair back "Well here is where we are with Watts. He wants to expand to a National Level with his TV Programming and he wants to show he is a big contender in the ratings... The guy he has writing his shows is a total stooge... he doesn't pay the wrestlers on half of the shows and just really takes advantage of them. We want "Power Pro Wrestling" to remain a mainstay on Sports Channel America but we need someone working with and around Watts to make sure he can "play nice" on a corporate level. So we are sending you on our dime to work with Watts on those things you just said. He's a hard headed son of a bitch and is set in his ways but you're going to need to play tough with him. You start next monday (April 1, 1985). We are paying for your travel to get to Oklahoma City and an apartment in the area. Your first meeting with Watts is Monday so I'd have a list of stuff prepared for him to take a look at and be ready for him to trash half of it."

[Chuck]

<p><strong>Chapter 2: Garbage, Garbage, Garbage and a side of Garbage</strong></p><p> </p><p>

I arrived in Oklahoma City two days after the talk with my boss... I had been a wrestling fan for a while and watched WWF on MTV and UWF on our TV Station just because I had to figure out what commercials our demographic would most likely buy into... but never did I think "I can write wrestling television" or "This guy could be a star". I had 5 days before my meeting with Bill Watts and from what I understood... the guy was kind of a tough customer as far as his people skills went.</p><p> </p><p>

Upon arriving in Oklahoma I met the lead play by play man of the UWF in Jim Ross. Ross was an Oklahoma Native and a sports fanatic so we hit it off pretty well. Ross knew I wasn't fit for the job I was undertaking and could tell I was nervous. Ross kind of explained to me how the creative process with Watts was going to work... "Bill is a true old timer and a real horses ass at times. He means well but he is stuck in his ways on 9 things out of 10. If you want to at least show you are trying next monday... I'd approach him with 5 storylines and about 20 guys you think he should give a shot at hiring... he's going to shoot down most of your ideas but if one of them sticks then he will at least keep you busy working on that"</p><p> </p><p>

Me and Ross bonded some more. Watts had given Ross the week off to kind of teach me about what he expects out of me. Watts was pretty pissed he had to fire his head booker of Ken Mantell so he could bring me on and had made a booking team consisting of me, Watts and Jim Ross. Ross caught me up with how Watts wants his company represented "If Bill hears one of his wrestlers got in a bar fight and lost... then he fires them from the company. He is no nonsense on his guys keeping the image of being badasses. He is dead serious about keeping the image that the UWF is home of the biggest and baddest wrestlers around."</p><p> </p><p>

All the prep time in the world couldn't save me from my initial meeting with Watts that Monday. I arrived at the office of Watts on that Monday and met with him.</p><p> </p><p>

"Kid... you know why your here and so do I. Your here to be a suit from the damn network. I want to grow bigger and they want to help me grow bigger. I know what the hell I am doing. I've been in the rasslin business for 27 years. I'm sure you are great at deciding when to air a shampoo commercial or making coffee but I don't need your help here. You are going to sit down, shut up and give positive feedback to how I'm running the company to your suit and tie boss or we are going to have a problem"</p><p> </p><p>

Watts was attempting to intimidate me... it worked. I did know however my boss was going to keep a close and watchful eye on me... so I did what I had to do and began speaking "Bill that tough guy cowboy act may work for your locker room but YOU need ME more than I need YOU right now and that makes this relationship an interesting one. Yesterday the WWF cemented itself as THE number one wrestling company in the world by having Sylvester Stallone in the Tag Team Main Event of Wrestlemania. They are officially the top dog in the game... if you were ranked number 2 or 3 by the dirtsheets then my presence here would be unnecessary. You aren't though Bill. Every sheet I read has the UWF ranked at about number 10 right now. I don't know "rasslin" as well as you do Bill but I do know I want to keep my job and I want you to keep your spot on Sports Channel America. So here is what we do.... you give me an honest chance at helping your company so I can pay all my bills and start my career with SCA and you can continue to expand your company or I go call my boss and tell him you don't want to play ball and your TV Show gets cancelled. Which one would you prefer Mr. Watts?"</p><p> </p><p>

The moment I finished blurting all of that out of my mouth was a scary one. Watts had a little grin on his face "you have balls son. I won't lie. Some of the shit you just said was pretty brave and stupid. I like a straight shooter though. I'll give you a chance... if you had 1 good idea for every 99 crap ideas then you are worth the time that company is paying you for. Ross tells me you have some ideas... lets hear em, boy"</p><p> </p><p>

I presented Watts with a list of wrestlers who were looking to come into UWF after Ross had told me who had sent tapes in, made calls, etc.... Watts began to go down the list "He sucks, he can't work, he has a bad attitude, he's been in jail for 6 months, he's garbage and he should be buying a ticket in the ground"... Watts decimated my list of over 50 wrestlers but told me "Four of these guys will fit here. Make the calls and see if they can be on TV this Sunday... If they can't tell them to seek employment elsewhere kid."</p>

[mistaken]

like the stuff, hope you find time for chapter 3 soon