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Big Brawler Brand: The Misadventures of Big Smark Scott


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<div style="text-align:center;"><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>August 2017</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>

Not America, Canada</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span>http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n511/hitman74/BigSmackScott2_zps6a5edd3d.jpg</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><em>WHAT'S UP LOSERS AND VIRGINS, THIS IS YOUR GOD BIG SMACK SCOTT. GET UR READING GLASSES ON NERDS BECAUSE I'M BACK TO WRITE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES BLESSING THE INDUSTRY OF HOMO-EROTIC FANFIC ALSO KNOWN AS PROFESSIONAL RASSLIN'.</em></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><em> </em></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><em>

I GOT FIRED FROM SUPER CREAM WRESTLING FEDERATION BECUZ I USED PERFORATED ENHANCING DRUGS (PEDOS FOR SHORT) AND BECAUSE OF THAT I NEEDED TO FIND WORK. OBVIOUSLY, I WAS THE BIGGEST FREE AGENT IN WRESTLING HISTORY SO IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG FOR ONE OF THE BIGGEST COMPANIES IN THE WORLD TO SNATCH ME UP. IT WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE:</em></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><em><span style="font-size:12px;"><strong>According to Big Smack Scott:</strong></span></em></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span>http://i.imgur.com/SEl5ZnI.jpg?1</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

Jeremy Stone</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Jeremy Stone:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> I've got to say Mr. Scott, your resume speaks for itself. Your countless 5* star matches in Japan exceed our expectations for the workrate that our roster endures and your ability to mentor younger wrestlers quantify you as a very valuable addition to our roster. Not to mention, according to your reference, Richard Eisen, you seem to have a very bright mind for the business. I would like to extend to you the position of head booker, Mr. Scott, and if you were to accept, it would be the utmost honor.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><em><span style="font-size:12px;">

</span></em></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><em><span style="font-size:12px;"><strong>Reality:</strong></span></em></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Jeremy Stone:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> After reviewing your past Mr. Scott, I'm sad to inform you that we are not able to hire you at this time. You seem to be unable to work even a 5 minute match, which is concerning giving how taxing a typical NOTBPW match is, and you have substantial run-ins with the American legal system, as well as a reputation for assaulting fellow wrestlers. We also called your references, 2 of which, did not actually exist, and the one that did, a gentleman by the name of Kurt Laramee, responding to our phone call with 'b**ch, dis best not be the feds, how u even get my numba'.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span>http://u.cubeupload.com/Iceisle/RileyMcManusalt1.jpg</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

My lawyer</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Big Smack Scott's Lawyer:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> Mr. Stone, I am sad to notify you that we will be taking you to court for discrimination towards Mr. Scott. As a white, cis-gendered male, Mr. Scott is a part of a marginalized group and he has evidence that you have chose not to hire him, despite him being a 6x Wrestler of the Year according to Big Smack Scott Magazine, due to his race, gender and sexuality. If you do not immediately hire Mr. Scott, you will see swift and immediate action by our legal team.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Jeremy Stone:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> Did you just bring you lawyer here?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Lawyer:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> Yes. </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Jeremy Stone:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> Uhh, jeez, jeez, I don't even come from the same government as you guys. Fine, you have a job.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Lawyer:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> Well, that was easy. Want anything else from him, Mr. Scott?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Me:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> YES I WANT TO BE HEAD MANAGER BOOKER GUY!!!</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Lawyer:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> You heard the man.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Jeremy Stone:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> You can't be serious....</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Lawyer:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> I don't think my friends in litigation court would find that very funny.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Jeremy Stone:</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> Jesus, what is this world come to. Fine, you're head of creative. Don't make me regret this...</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong><span style="font-size:12px;"><em>3 Months Later...</em></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span>http://i.imgur.com/SEl5ZnI.jpg?1</span><span>http://i.imgur.com/dhxvdor.jpg?1</span><span>http://i.imgur.com/voiKxiJ.jpg?1</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

THESE ARE MY 3 SONS JIMMY, DIANNE AND DON JUNIOR, AND THEY ARE GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST THINGS IN THE SPORT OF PROFESSIONAL RASPUTIN, AND THEY BELONG TO THE BIG BRAWLER BRAND!!!</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span>http://i.imgur.com/5emPnqH.jpg?1</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

Big Brawler Brand takes over the North...soon</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span></p></div><p></p>

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  • 4 months later...

<p></p><div style="text-align:center;"><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>December 2017</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

Not America, Canada</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span>http://i1137.photobucket.com/albums/n511/hitman74/BigSmackScott2_zps6a5edd3d.jpg</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

Narrated By: Big Smack Scott</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><em>SINCE I LUV MINGLING PRO WRESTLING FANS AND THE EYE DUBLE YOU SEE, I DECIDED TO INTERACT WITH SOME BIG SMACK SCOTT-O-HOLICS TO SEE WHAT THEY WERE INTERESTED IN LEARNING ABOUT THE BIZNESS. APPARENTLY SOCAL MEDIA IS A BIG DEAL SO JIMMY MADE ME GO ON SAIDIT TO DO AN ASS ME ANYTHING. HERES WAT I BELIEVE WAS A VERY SUCCESSFUL AMA</em></span></p></div><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>

<span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">[-] </span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Uniban</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> 911 points 21 minutes ago</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

Hey Scott, big fan. What is it like being a professional wrestler?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;">[-] </div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>BigSmackScottAMA</strong></div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"> -180 points 10 minutes ago</div><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;">

ITS BETTER THAN BENING A VIRJIN LOSER LIKE U WHO LIVES IN HIS MOMS BASSMENT. I GET ALL THE FEMALES WEN THEY FIND OUT IM A PROFESSORAL RESSLER. I GOT TO STAY ON THE BEST HOTELS AND EAT THE FINEST OF FOODS INCLUDING STAKE. ALSO U CAN COMMIT ASPHALT AND BUTTERY WITH OUT GETTING ARRESTED.</div><p></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

[-] </span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>LukeGallowBoob</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> 711 points 30 minutes ago</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

The famed Big Smack Swanton, this high-flying dive you claim you bust out out only during indie shows, is there any sort of evidence that you can actually do a swanton? Many members of the IWC seem to think you're bluffing.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;">[-] </div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>BigSmackScottAMA</strong></div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"> -272 points 12 minutes ago</div><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;">

JUST BC U HAVENT SEEN IT DOESNT MEAN IT DOESNT EXIST. I CAN TELL YOU 1000% THAT V*GINAS EXIST EVEN THO U HAV NEVER SEEN 1 IN UR PATHETIC LIFE</div><p></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

[-] </span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>PmMeUrThunderVerseFanFic</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> 650 points 12 minutes ago</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

How big is Remo's d*ck?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;">[-] </div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>BigSmackScottAMA</strong></div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"> -18 points 5 minutes ago</div><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;">

ALMOST AS BIG AS UR MOMS!!!!</div><p></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;">[-] </div></div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>KayGabeN</strong></div></div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 1 point a few seconds ago</div></div><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;"><div style="margin-left:25px;">

u/WaterGuy12 should definitely check this out</div></div><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

[-] </span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><strong>Netsfan4ever</strong></span><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"> 311 points 18 minutes ago</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

What are duties like for a head booker? Any challenges you face regularly?</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;">[-] </div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"><strong>BigSmackScottNumberOneFan</strong></div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"> 10.6k points 16 minutes ago </div><img alt="kDx7xn2.png?1" data-src="https://i.imgur.com/kDx7xn2.png?1" src="<___base_url___>/applications/core/interface/js/spacer.png" /><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></p><div style="margin-left:25px;">

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand head booking. Booking is extremely nuanced, and without a solid grasp of technical match-making most of the wrestling will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Johnny Bloodstone's technical masterwork, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal in-ring technique draws heavily from Sam Keith, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of head booking, to realize that they're not just wrestling- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike NOTBPW truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in The Mounties's existencial catchphrase "Sorry, eh" which itself is a cryptic reference to Wole Soyinka's Death and the King's Horsemen. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Big Smack Scott's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. </div><span class="ipsEmoji"><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span></span><div style="margin-left:25px;">😂</div><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"></span><div style="margin-left:25px;"> And yes by the way, I DO have a Steve DeColt tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.</div><p></p><p><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">

</span></p>

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<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-username="Poet Justice" data-cite="Poet Justice" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="44055" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><p> To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand head booking. Booking is extremely nuanced, and without a solid grasp of technical match-making most of the wrestling will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Johnny Bloodstone's technical masterwork, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal in-ring technique draws heavily from Sam Keith, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of head booking, to realize that they're not just wrestling- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike NOTBPW truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in The Mounties's existencial catchphrase "Sorry, eh" which itself is a cryptic reference to Wole Soyinka's Death and the King's Horsemen. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Big Smack Scott's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. �� And yes by the way, I DO have a Steve DeColt tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.</p></div></blockquote><p> </p><p> Yep.. we've reached peak "cringe'... it's the "you have to be smart to understand Rick and Morty post".. </p><p> </p><p> Looking forward to how this plays out. Has Big Smack Scott made a play at Dianne Scott yet? Isn't he or she still gainfully employed in TCW?</p>
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