[LondonVerse] Full Metal Mayhem: Heyman E. Danger's Revenge

DarK_RaideR · August 17, 2018

They call me the mad genius of professional wrestling. I don’t know about genius, but mad’s as good a word as any. My name is Heyman E. Danger and this is my story. Part of it, anyway.

I’ve been a wrestling fan since I was a kid, but the part of me that wanted to break things down and see how they work won over the part that wanted to be like that when I grow up. Already since my teenage years, I was a journalist and photographer for various wrestling events, ever looking for a chance to sneak backstage and peer behind the veil. Long story short, at age 20 I officially got into the industry as a manager. That was twenty nine years ago. How time flies…

Long story short, I was now an “insider” and learning the business was part of the job. Slowly but surely, I began to toss out my ideas and those that stuck made quite the impact, giving me a reputation as a man with a good mind for the business. Everyone expected me to try my hand as a booker and given my vocal dislike of all things oldschool, traditional and cartoonish, people thought I’d sign up with Xtreme Combat Wrestling but when the time came, my pick was Empire State Wrestling instead.

ESW was known as the indy breeding ground of tomorrow’s stars and in hindsight, that’s part of what made me walk away, tired of having talent I’d built up and had plans for get signed by the bigger fish in the pond. XCW was our main rival with their “edgy” blood and guts product, but we were also besieged from all sides. Cruiserweight heaven AAA, all-female Pure Heart Wrestling and Canada’s Ring of Fire just north of the border were our main rivals, all of which we eventually outshined within a year or two. The competition kept us from growing to Cult size as fast as owner Paul Haydon wanted, but growth did come, even if at times it had to be forced, like when we bought out Extremo Mondo de Lucha Libre and their TV deal. But then I had a meltdown.

Our talent was being signed left and right on exclusive deals. All my ideas were going to waste, left half finished and wrapped up in a rush. I had lost faith and so had the fans; when you know an exodus is at hand, it’s hard to invest in characters and stories. Haydon didn’t understand. He wanted to hit the bigtime and kept on pressing me about it. Cult size didn’t come as fast as he wanted, the Mexican buyout and TV deal wasn’t paying the dividends he expected and that was on top of having him mess up our announcing as the third man, a post I gave him to keep him busy. It was August 2017, right after our monthly show, titled Brooklyn Beatdown and I wrapped up my post-show speech with a “goodbye and good luck”. I was calm, but Haydon was furious. Again, in hindsight, he had every right to be. I hadn’t talked about this with anyone and he had the biggest show of the year lined up next, so I essentially hung him up to dry in the worst possible moment. At the time, I didn’t see it like that though. His words struck a nerve and suddenly all my frustration, disappointment and negativity poured out. Long story short, we had a falling out.

I took a short break, but couldn’t escape the wrestling bug. Fans and media were buzzing with guesses of where I’d show up next, with the majority dreaming of a vengeance run at XCW. The truth was a lot less romantic though. I had no hard feelings towards Haydon and reputation or not, there were no booker vacancies at the time anyway. I wasn’t going back to taking orders from anyone, so I did the only thing left to do: I started my own promotion.

As the old saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words, so before I tell you more, you might want to check out our first show. Give you a bit of context before I present our original roster, lovingly dubbed “The Tenacious Twenty”. More important, it’s the best way to have you feel as excited and perplexed as fans were during that first show we put up. Now, where was that DVD...

The feed is shaky and out of focus, as if shot on low resolution using a smartphone. Whoever’s recording seems to finally get it right, as they run across a crowded parking area towards some commotion. When the cameraman stops at a safe distance, he focuses on four men, caught up in a fight.

From the action, it looks like it’s not a free for all; the two redneck-looking guys seem to be cooperating against the two homeless-looking hobos and it’s working: between their double teaming and their opponents’ disarray, they quickly get the upper hand, turning the fight into a one-sided beatdown. The smaller, scrappier one whips a foe head first into a car door, busting his skull open and causing a huge dent as the door caves in. Meanwhile, the larger of the duo picks up the other rival and puts him up on his shoulders, before he powerbombs him onto the hood of another car, collapsing on top of him. Out of the gathered crowd, a hispanic man in a striped referee shirt shows up, counting to three as if this was a normal, sanctioned match. Fans join in on the count and even mimic the sound of a bell, before exploding into cheers.

Rating: D 46

Cut to the inside of the venue and some proper camera work, as a familiar figure stands in the center of the ring with a mic in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen... welcome to the Gorski Ballroom, here in sunny California. My name is Heyman E. Danger. I am the owner and promoter of Full Metal Mayhem, the home of real hardcore wrestling in the South West!”

Lights focus on the company logo above the entrance while the overhead camera takes a shot of the logo printed on the ring canvas

“I could stand here and explain to you all about Full Metal Mayhem, but I’d rather let our wrestlers take center stage and do what they do best, all the way to our big main event, where The Next Big Thing, Jax Traylor will take on The Samoan Studd , Siaki Uta’i for the FMM King of Kings title within the confines of a cage made entirely out of barb wire!”

Having dropped the punchline, Danger lets the fans cheer for a bit, then takes his spot at the announcing table so that the show can go on.

Rating: D 44

H.E.D: “Live from the Gorski Ballroom, it’s FMM’s first ever show, Coast to Coast! I’m Heyman E. Danger and joining me tonight on the announcing table is Brendon Franklin!”

BF: “Welcome everybody, our show was kicked off early tonight and I’m getting word the parking lot brawl you may have witnessed coming in has now been ratified as an official match!”

H.E.D: “That’s true, Brendon. You never know what you’re gonna get with FMM and that’s only the beginning!”

BF: “We’ll probably be seeing those four again, but for now it’s time to kick off the show with our first proper match inside the ring. Making their way first, the all-American team of Jim Skullet and Brodie Osiris!”

H.E.D: “What can you tell us about these two, Brendon?”

BF: “Brodie Osiris is synonymous with two things, my friend, thumbtacks and backyard wrestling. That would be the reason why MFF staff have already strewn both the mat and ringside area with thumbtacks, this is going to be the Nebraska native’s signature stipulation, a thumbtacks match! I’m curious to see how ‘the American Skullet’ can keep up as his teammate in this unusual redneck pairing.”

H.E.D: “Looks like their opponents tonight come from south of the border”

BF: “El Psicopata sure does, but the Hardcore Luchador, Kaleidoscope, is actually from Philly. Don’t let the masks fool you though, both men are more likely to hit someone with a chair than hit a high flying move”

H.E.D: “That’s actually a pretty viable strategy, Brandon, with all the thumbtacks lying around.”

Brodie Osiris & Jim Skullet vs El Psicopata & Kaleidoscope

Osiris and Kaleidoscope start the match and there’s no doubt that fans are in full support of the hardcore legend, treating Kaleidoscope with utter contempt and chants mocking lucha libre. It doesn’t help that the masked worker looks very afraid to walk around all the thumbtacks, dragging his feet before Osiris recklessly charges in to hit something between a spear and a spinebuster. Fans don’t seem to care though, seeing Kaleidoscope driven back first onto the tacks is good enough for them and they explode in a roar of approval. Obviously panicked, Kaleidoscope stumbles to his corner and tags in El Psicopata who jumps in over the top rope, much to the fans’ delight as he doesn’t seem to care about the tacks. Grabbing a handful of tacks, Psicopata grinds them on the face of Osiris to make him bleed, then hits him with a flurry of blows until Osiris hits a desperate headbutt that leaves them both on the mat, staring at the lights and bleeding, though some of Psicopata’s crimson may be his body paint, mixed with his sweat, which only makes for a more gruesome image. The two men struggle to get back on their feet and it’s Skullet who gets the hot tag, rushing in to prevent Psicopata from tagging. Not that Kaleidoscope looks in any hurry to get back in the ring, once again causing fans to turn against him as Skullet unloads his arsenal of moves on Psicopata, before tagging in Osiris to hit his trademark Pin Cushion finisher, a Russian Legsweep STO onto the tacks for the pin and victory.

Rating: D- 41

BF: “Brodie Osiris doing what he does best to score the win for his team! The man thrives in this environment, but take nothing away from Skullet or their opponents, especially the nutcase Psicopata!”

H.E.D: “Kaleidoscope has a long way to go if he still wants to be called the Hardcore Luchador in this company”

BF: “ Speaking of men who have a long way ahead before they make it in MFF, get a load of this guy; it’s the Eastern Emo, a man who goes by the name of Dae Yong!”

H.E.D: “Emo? Is that still a thing?”

BF: “It might not be after tonight, because his opponent is none other than the Ghanian Grizzly, Sheik Balazaar!”

H.E.D: “It’s the legend himself, in the flesh!”

BF: “And out for a pound of flesh, it seems. How can Dae Yong hope to ever defeat the Barb Wire Messiah?”

H.E.D: “He’s already bleeding and he likes it! And the match hasn’t even started yet!”

Sheik Balazaar vs Dae Yong

Fans hate everything about Dae Yong, from his emo look and antics to his utter inability to land even the most basic of moves right. Sheik Balazaar doesn’t even seem to feel Yong’s shitty offense and once he’s had enough, he gets to work, mauling the youngster as the fans voice their approval of the ensuing bloodshed. Once Yong is down and dazed, the Sheik takes a stroll outside the ring to look for anything under the apron that can be used as a weapon. Once he’s satisfied with everything he’s pulled out and thrown into the ring, he returns to use it on Yong, fans popping for every spot, until the final one where he hits his Arabian Crush on a bed of nails to pin the rookie.

Rating: E+ 30

BF: “Five minutes and fifty one seconds, that’s more than a handful of the Sheik’s opponents usually last. And it looks like the Sheik’s bloodlust hasn’t been sated yet!”

H.E.D: “Look out, it’s the cavalry to the rescue!”

BF: “That’s Oscar Bryant! Veteran of the hardcore and backyard scene!”

H.E.D: “Veteran? You say that while Sheik Balazaar is still in the ring?”

Bryant gets in the ring and grabs a 2x4 board wrapped in barb wire, which he breaks in half on the Sheik’s back. The Ghanian feels the blow, but the match has taken very little out of him to take him out and now Bryant is without a weapon as the Sheik turns around. Everyone sees what’s coming next and despite Bryant’s best efforts, the Sheik destroys him too, eventually powerbombing him on top of the fallen Dae Yong.

Rating: D+ 49

BF: “The Sheik has left a trail of destruction in his wake and it looks like he’s finally had enough to leave the ring!”

H.E.D: “At least Bryant’s experience saw him fare better than Yong.”

BF: “If you thought that was violent, we’re only getting started! Up next is the first title match of the night and it’s for the FMM Faces of Death!”

The referee holds up two masks as the announcement is being made

H.E.D: “Forget everything you thought you knew about wrestling and that includes the prizes being belts or cups. This is FMM!”

BF: “And it is only fitting that the Faces of Death will be contested for in a Deathmatch. Here comes team number one, Danger Young and ‘3B’, also known as the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser!”

BF: “Danger Young is a man that turns the extreme psychopathic maniac all the way to eleven, whether it’s weapons, dives or using his own body as a weapon. So mad, reckless and unpredictable, even Xtreme Combat Wrestling were too scared to hire him!”

H.E.D: “This ain’t XCW, Brendon! Young has the balls to do his thing and MFF has the balls to not only sign him, but team him up with 3B as well!”

BF: “Their opponents may not have such an impressive resume, but make no mistake, they are more than capable of bringing the hardcore ultraviolence to the table, sometimes through it! Luke Miller and ‘The Wild Man from New England’ Butch Williams, collectively known as The Junkyard Dogs!”

FMM Faces of Death title match

Danger Young & Baltimore Backyard Bruiser vs The Junkyard Dogs

3B and Luke Miller start the match, the latter getting the better of the initial exchange as his opponent is slower and struggles to do damage with anything that doesn’t involve swinging a weapon. Miller isolates his opponent on his corner, using quick tags and double team moves together with Williams to wear 3B down. Showing no regard for his own well being, Young breaks it up by grabbing a chair and springboarding himself across the ring, leaving all four men crumbling on the corner. Running on adrenaline, Young rises back up first and whacks both his opponent with the bent chair, but a new face comes out to get in the ring behind him and grab the chair before the final swing.

BF: “It’s the savage man from the Rockies, Wild William Kent! What’s he doing here?”

H.E.D: “Destroying what’s left of that chair by smashing it on Danger Young’s back, apparently.”

BF: “Kent isn’t scheduled to wrestle tonight and apparently he’s not happy at all about it!"

Having recovered in the meantime, the Junkyard Dogs pick up the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser, who’s still technically the legal man and Butch Williams deliver the Steel Spike, a spike piledriver to end the match and crown the Dogs the inaugural FMM Faces of Death.

Rating: D- 39

BF: “We have our first champions, Luke Miller and Butch Williams are the first ever FMM Faces of Death!”

H.E.D: “Don’t hold your breath, Brendon, we’ve got two more matches coming up and you could very well say the next one is a proper dream match!”

BF: “There’s Bobo the Hardcore Clown and he’s brought his trademark barb wire bat to the ring!”

H.E.D: “Bobo is well known to hardcore fans across the country, but tell us a few words about his opponent tonight, Brendon."

BF: “Mimic is a scary, scary individual. Like Bobo, he cut his chops with XCW, but left for Japan and Oriental Fight Club long before Bobo was around. Some say he’s the prime inspiration that led to the creation of Bobo, yet the two have yet to compete on the same show.”

H.E.D: ”That changes tonight, Brendon, because they’re not just on the same show, they’re on the same match. Welcome to Full Metal Mayhem!”

BF: “Fans have wanted to see this for ages and Full Metal Mayhem is the one to make it happen tonight”

H.E.D: “Exactly, and free of crap like fighting over the rights to the gimmick. Just pure, hardcore violence; never before has ‘Ultimate Deathmatch’ been more fitting than this!”

Bobo the Clown vs Mimic

Ultimate Deathmatch

Bat still in hand, Bobo offers a handshake before the match begins. Mimic hesitates, but shakes Bobo’s hand in the end, only to get electrocuted. Making the best of the surprise, Bobo puts his bat to work but the sight of Mimic’s own blood seems to cause something inside him to snap. In a fit of rage, Mimic grabs the bat off Bobo’s hands, giving him a taste of his own medicine before going out to set up a table. He then empties a bag of thumbtacks around it in case he misses, pouring any remaining ones on top of the table, but climbing back on the apron, Bobo superkicks him out, to send him crashing through the table. This gives Bobo plenty of time to set up four chairs inside the ring, then lay a sheet of glass on top of them. Once he goes to pick up Mimic though, he falls victim to a handful of tacks thrown in his face. Making his comeback, Mimic whacks his opponent in the head with a metal gas can lying nearby, which he then pops open to douse Bobo. Fans stretch out their hands to offer their lighters to Mimic and he does indeed grab one to use, though Bobo uses the squirting flower on his chest to shoot water on it and prevent it from working. For his trouble, Mimic smacks him in the head with a crowbar that was lying near his feet, then proceeds to drag Bobo back into the ring. Mimic looks like he’s going to suplex or maybe powerbomb Bobo onto the glass sheet, but Bobo somehow blocks it out of pure survival instinct, reversing the move into his Cruel Joke finisher, a Flapjack that sends Mimic through the glass and putting him out for the count at last.

Rating: D+ 49

BF: “What a match! These two were out to kill each other! For a dream match, this lived every bit up to the hype!”

H.E.D: “And it was just the semi main event, Brendon! The final match looks to be even bloodier, because it will be held inside a cage made of barb wire!"

BF: “While that cage is being set up, tell us a few things about one of the two men in that match, Jax Traylor. I understand he’s something like a protege of yours?”

H.E.D: “He’s my client, Brendon. A real beast, blending power and athleticism like you’ve never seen before. I am not exaggerating at all when I call him the Next Big Thing.”

BF: “His opponent tonight is Siaki Uta’i, more commonly known as the Samoan Studd. A single look at this man tells you everything you need to know and there he is, making his way to the ring already holding two title belts, the Ring of Fire and XCW Tag Team titles. He’ll be looking to win himself a third one tonight against Traylor.”

H.E.D: “His first singles title, Brendon, if he wins it. Fun fact, his teammate and fellow XCW Tag Team champion is none other than the men who one the previous match, Bobo the Hardcore Clown!”

Barb Wire Cage match for the FMM King of Kings title

“The Next Big Thing” Jax Traylor vs “The Samoan Studd” Siaki Uta’i

The match kicks off with a lot of static brawling, but neither man seems to get the best of the exchange as both are equal in terms of size and power. What swings momentum in Traylor’s favor is his agility, when he suddenly decides to change his approach and duck under a lariat showing unusual grace for a man his size. Carried away by the force of his strike, Studd almost crashes on the cage but stops just in time, only for Traylor to tackle him from behind and send him face first into the ugly stuff. Not only is Studd bleeding all over after this, but the wire gets bent, compromising the integrity of the entire cage. This evolves into the dominant element of the match as the two drive each other into the barb wire, essentially bringing it closer and closer to collapsing on top of them. When a wall finally gives way and collapses inwards to cover the mat, both men are bleeding and exhausted, Studd more than Traylor, whose athletic background has equipped him with tons of stamina. Like a shark smelling blood in the water, Traylor looks to hit his “Jaxed Up” finisher, a variation of the Last Ride elevated powerbomb, but Studd fights back before Traylor can lift his massive frame onto his shoulders and reverses into his own Island Driver 3000 finisher onto the fallen barb wire wall, a Death Valley Driver that’s enough (given the situation) to put Traylor out for the count.

Rating: C 64

BF: “Studd wins! Studd wins! All hail the King of Kings, holder of three different titles from three different promotions at the same time!"

H.E.D: “Traylor made him work for it and here’s the other half of the XCW Tag Team champions, Bobo the Hardcore Clown!”

BF: “What a moment for Studd and Bobo is here to celebrate with him”

Bobo picks up Samoan Studd and hands him the FMM King of Kings title, raising his hand in celebration as Jax Traylor leaves the ring and stumbles backstage. Once the collapsed barb wire segment of the wall is freed up, Bobo suddenly turns on Studd and hits him with the Cruel Joke, flapjacking him and himself onto the barb wire.

BF: “What the hell?!”

H.E.D: “Keep that teamwork crap for XCW, this is FMM and Bobo isn’t happy with his partner’s success!”

BF: “You think it’s jealousy that drove Bobo to do this?”

H.E.D: “No one knows what goes on in Bobo’s mind, not even himself sometimes. I know what went down in the ring though!”

BF: “A despicable act of betrayal and now Bobo’s spitting on top of the fallen Studd! Make sure to catch FMM’s next show to find out what happens next! I’m Brendon Franklin…”

H.E.D: “...and I’m Heyman E. Danger, from the bloody battlegrounds of Full Metal Mayhem, we bid you goodnight!”

Rating: C- 57

Show Rating: C- 58

Hello and welcome! This diary is loosely connected to my former ESW one as I did give it up, but continued the save with a new company I started. Shout out to London for creating the wonderful LondonVerse, willr0ck for the company logo that I got from his upcoming RockVerse and southside_hitmen for the Faces of Death render.

DarK_RaideR · September 3, 2018

So now that you’ve seen our first show, let’s take a look under the hood.

The idea for Full Metal Mayhem came as a response to the mainstream direction Paul Haydon wanted to steer ESW towards, but also as an answer to XCW’s simplistic “shock rock” product. On one hand, I wanted to go for realistic characters and gritty storylines, have the blood and guts as a symbol of what people were willing to sacrifice in their struggle. On the other, I just wanted to push the letter beyond what had ever been previously done and raise my middle fingers to the sky, sticking it to “the man” like a raging teenager.

I chose California as our home base, as the West Coast had little to show in terms of pro wrestling beyond a handful of sunshine and rainbows sports entertainment promotions. Hence the name of our first show, Coast to Coast, inspired by my flight from New York to Los Angeles. That wasn’t all of it though. I was also planning to take FMM on the road, spread the word from coast to coast. My name value gave us a starting fan base wide enough to classify us as a Regional promotion, but no TV station would ever host us and I knew if we contained ourselves to the South West, we would be shooting ourselves in the foot. Touring the country allowed us to keep the flame alive and build on this initial rush of popularity. We could try out new ideas and new faces between our bigger shows, then the boys could get a break during the rest period while our finances recovered. Speaking of them, it’s high time I spoke about each of the original “Tenacious Twenty”

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“The Samoan Studd” Siaki Uta’i

Age: 21 (10 Year Pro)

Size: Toned Light Heavyweight

Gimmick: Rock Star (Great)</div>

Our lead babyface at first and inaugural FMM King of Kings champion, Samoan Studd was already a Ring of Fire success story. Getting his skills up to par with his cool cocky charisma from 2007 to 2009, he finally got his big break turning heel with a new name and attitude that got him straight to the top. At the time I set up FMM, Studd was the holder of tag gold in both XCW and ROF, though he’d already won ROF’s midcard singles title twice and even had a run as ROF World champion for the better part of 2014. Bold and open-minded, there was little he wouldn’t do, as evidenced by his Barb Wire Cage debut match and as a bonus, he was a real nice guy to have backstage.

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Bobo the Hardcore Clown

Age: 31 (11 Year Pro)

Size: Big Heavyweight

Gimmick: Maniac (Average)</div>

Looks like the days of clowns as funnymen are gone for good, replaced by coulrophobia and psychotic, murderous madmen in white facepaint. Bobo never claimed he was the innovator of the gimmick, he more or less ripped it from Mimic, but he had it nailed down to perfection in XCW, becoming the most successful version of it in America. Bobo had the size, he had the look and he had the psychology to pull it off, not to mention his willingness to partake in barbaric brawls. His clownish heel tricks and barb wire wrapped baseball bat were already staples of the character regardless of promotion, so I didn’t see any reason to tweak a working recipe. What I did change was his disposition. Going into that first show, nobody knew if we bothered with faces and heels, so when XCW Tag Team champions Studd and Bobo celebrated the former’s victory in our main event, no one saw the backstab coming. It was glorious and it was enough to set up Bobo as our main heel.

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“The Original Hardcore Clown” Mimic

Age: 37 (17 Year Pro)

Size: Lightweight

Gimmick: Extremist (Very Good)</div>

Mimic started as most hardcore wrestlers do, fighting in various backyard promotions before XCW caught wind of his look and style. For whatever reason, Mimic chose to head for Japan in 2007, joining Oriental Fight Club and practically leaving a void that Bobo the Hardcore Clown stepped in to fill. Having the two team up or even better, fight each other, had been a dream match for hardcore fans so I simply had to do it for our first show. It was a shame Mimic had to lose, but for all his exploits in Japan, he just wasn’t as popular in the States anymore. With time and injuries catching up, it would be a challenge to turn him into the star his talents deserved before he’d even start thinking about retirement.

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Dae Yong

Age: 28 (8 Year Pro)

Size: Toned Lightweight

Gimmick: Emo (Great)</div>

Another OFC import from Japan, though not nearly on the same level as Mimic was the youngster Tatsori Datsuko, who I repackaged as Dae Yong. I also gave him a new finisher, dubbed “Live Fast” because I just couldn’t get enough puns out of his case. The kid was a marvel backstage and knowing he was still a young lion, he’d tapped into a wonderful gimmick. As a heel, fans wanted to see him get beat, then as face he’d turn into the lovable underdog bigger and badder workers would beat up. He was actually so into the character and willing to bleed, he’d come up with his own theatrics for his matches: following a destructive move on his opponent, he’d just stare out into the distance and after a victory, he’d slice open his own forehead to wear the crimson mask in celebration. Watching his matches, I was captivated, so of course I signed him up to eat pins while he established himself, in hopes of one day getting to the point where fans could see more of his antics.

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“The Ghanian Grizzly” Sheik Balazaar

Age: 45 (23 Year Pro)

Size: Heavyweight

Gimmick: Wild Man (Above Average)</div>

The first man who got to beat up Yong was none other than the legendary “Ghanian Grizzly” known as Sheik Balazaar. With tenures in XCW, OFC and many others, the man who made the use of barbed wire into an art was a must have when it came to signing talent for our initial roster. Sure, he was getting old, but he had the aura and the popularity, so keeping him around to squash jobbers was a viable strategy before he would pass the torch to the next generation.

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“The Next Big Thing” Jax Traylor

Age: 31 (12 Year Pro)

Size: Light Heavyweight

Gimmick: Next Big Thing (Very Good)</div>

Jax Traylor surprised me in many pleasant ways. As a college football player kicked off the team after too many incidents off the field, I expected him to be like most people with such a background: arrogant outsiders in hopes of a quick buck from the world of make believe fighting. Not only was he an amazing personality to have around, he was taking his wrestling career seriously and was all too happy to be involved in crazy spots and bloody matches. Much like myself, he began in ESW, before choosing the hardcore over the mainstream, originally signing with ROF and then with us.

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“Wild” William Kent

Age: 38 (18 Year Pro)

Size: Heavyweight

Gimmick: Extremist (Great)</div>

The savage man from the Rockies was not booked to wrestle a match during our first ever show, but he made his presence known thanks to his “fight anyone, anywhere, anytime” attitude. Kent had the looks, skills and tenacity to portray such a savage wild brawler, but outside the ring he couldn’t be any further from his character. Many a wrestler was surprised to see him chilling backstage with a book in hand or quoting the classics, but for all his scary looks, he was a joy to have behind the scenes.

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The Junkyard Dogs

Butch Williams & Luke Miller

Age: 38 (18 Years Pro) & 40 (19 Years Pro)

Size: Toned Middleweight & Middleweight

Gimmick: Extremists (Average & Above Average)</div>

Unlike Kent, Williams and Miller were pretty much the same on and off the camera. Two good old country boys from the backwoods of New England, the duo never quite set the world on fire with their wrestling skills, but they did establish a reputation for themselves as the hardest of the hardcore, first on the indy scene and then just north of the border with Canada’s Deadly Overload Action. Despite several years of service, DOA never trusted them with the titles, so I did the opposite as a gesture of trust and good will, crowning the Junkyard Dogs as our first ever tag champions.

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The Inbreds

Ur Anus & Scruffy Joe

Age: 40 (20 Years Pro) & 35 (15 Years Pro)

Size: Flabby Light Heavyweight & Middleweight

Gimmick: Perverts (Awful & Great)</div>

Other than the Junkyard Dogs, the only other established team I signed up for our starting roster were the Inbreds, Anus and Scruffy Joe. No one ever had the balls to go all out with their redneck white trash characters before us and while Joe rolled with it from the start, the renamed Ur-Anus was pretty awkward. Not that it mattered much, as their thing was mainly barbaric brawls, as evidenced by the parking lot one they had to surprise incoming audience.

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Danger Young

Age: 27 (9 Years Pro)

Size: Lightweight

Gimmick: Maniac (Great)</div>

Of all the backyard brawlers and murderhobos we signed for our starting roster, Danger Young was the one I had the highest hopes for. The kid was just starting his career, so he was still pretty injury free and had plenty of time ahead to learn, yet between his weapons wars and hurling his own body as a weapon, he had already established a reputation as a man “so crazy even XCW didn’t dare sign him up”. Which of course made the perfect statement for our promotion: we were even crazier than that.

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Baltimore Backyard Bruiser

Age: 40 (20 Years Pro)

Size: Flabby Heavyweight

Gimmick: Extremist (Great)</div>

Young’s teammate for our first show was the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser, which is exactly what it says on the tin. Not much was ever made public regarding the man’s past despite a brief stint with XCW and with age catching up with him, it was unlikely he’d ever be more than a one trick pony, but what he did he did it well.

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The Transient

Age: 32 (12 Years Pro)

Size: Heavyweight

Gimmick: Street Thug (Great)</div>

Another man fitting the “murderhobo with shady background”, the Transient was known as professional wrestling’s professional drifter, a fact that fit his homeless look like a glove. An old, tattered glove, with cut off fingers. Fans loved googling, speculating and making up stories about the man’s past, from him being a banker who lost it all to a bitter army vet that had a meltdown, so we ran with it and mystique followed the Transient same way his smell did.

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Uncle Badtouch

Age: 42 (22 Years Pro)

Size: Flabby Middleweight

Gimmick: Wild Man (Average)</div>

Last of the murderhobos and certainly the creepiest, Uncle Badtouch was another of those labelled “too extreme even for XCW” so of course I signed him up as soon as I could. A backyard veteran who could creep out even the most detached millenials in the audience, Badtouch was all about character over skill, but at least he was still able and willing to participate in bloody weapons brawls so he had some mileage left in him despite being in the tail end of his career.

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Oscar Bryant

Age: 36 (16 Years Pro)

Size: Toned Light Heavyweight

Gimmick: Extremist (Above Average)</div>

An interesting story to tell with Bryant. He too was a big man that earned his chops in the backyard scene, before getting a break with Deadly Overload Action in Canada, teamed up with Darrel Slug as the Kings of Pain. In that setting, Bryant and Slug were two big bad hardcore psychopaths. Once he was over our side of the fence though, a quick look across the roster made him come across as the whitest meat babyface possible. We needed such a character too, Bryant enjoyed the change as well and the rest is history.

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Brodie Osiris

Age: 30 (10 Years Pro)

Size: Flabby Middleweight

Gimmick: Extremist (Above Average)</div>

I knew Brodie Osiris back from ESW. He was based in the Tri State area so I booked him once or twice for a one night deal, but he never fit that clean cut indy setting. Once I set up my own company, he was one of the first people I reached out to. He had the skill, the attitude and the reputation, becoming a backyard legend thanks to his signature use of thumbtacks.

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Jim Skullet

Age: 38 (18 Years Pro)

Size: Middleweight

Gimmick: Man on a Mission (Above Average)</div>

The way I saw it, the story of Jim Parks was the flipside of pro wrestling’s American dream: Originally a wholesome babyface with blonde hair and brown eyes that made female audiences swoon, Jim started losing hair off the top of his head at the young age of 26. Soon after, he started losing fans and job offers as well, until he embraced what he’d become to reinvent himself as “The American Skullet”. He kept it simple and patriotic, but I fully intended to use his backstory, whether I was going to make him a bitter veteran or a hardcore redneck that spat on the mainstream industry.

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“The Hardcore Luchador” Kaleidoscope

Age: 29 (9 Years Pro)

Size: Middleweight

Gimmick: Anti-Establishment (Above Average)</div>

I was really, really against hiring any masked workers, but I knew Kaleidoscope from my ESW days and figured I might be able to make something out of him. Back then he went under the name of Pentagram, but since his mask didn’t look like it, I went ahead to rename him. The Philadelphia native liked to surprise crowds with his style, as he prefered swinging chairs to doing flips and dives, so I tried to present him as a man going against tradition and expectations.

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El Psicopata

Age: 28 (8 Years Pro)

Size: Heavyweight

Gimmick: Bloodthirsty Killer (Above Average)</div>

I ran into Psicopata during the tail end of my ESW career, after the buyout of EMLL. During the shows in Mexico, we’d hire local talent that was popular until our own wrestlers got up to that level and that’s how I ended up hiring him for a one night deal. Covered in scars all over his body, the big man also came to the ring pasted in red warpaint which made it very difficult to ascertain when he is bleeding and when it is sweat causing his body art to run, but it all made for a mesmerizing visual I wanted for our shows. Not likely to find employment in Mexico and too unknown in the States, Psicopata was happy to hear from us and immediately hopped on the bandwagon, finally free to go as crazy as he wanted with the character.

SoulKings · September 3, 2018

Nice intro and first show. I thought for sure that Danger and Backyard were gonna get the titles. But the bios posted after made sense has the JYD's are one of two established tag teams.

Is Dae Young a somewhat take on The Velveteen Dream? Very interesting character, especially in this environment. Def. interested in that character and where you take him.

The main event was cool and the, i guess, you have to consider it a heel turn by Bobo The Clown was great setting up the first couple of shows/month around your main title. Be interesting to see how the tag team champs in another promotion are getting on in yours. I'm sure we'll get the updates from XCW too.

Is there an actual face/heel divide in this company?

DarK_RaideR · September 3, 2018

<blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Nice intro and first show.</div></blockquote> Thanks a lot. This is probably my longest save/dynasty so far (other than my Road to Glory - turned - Local to Global, which I'm documenting on another forum) since the LondonVerse is probably the one custom database that's really got me hooked. I wanted to keep playing/writing and I'm taking the time in order to do it justice and portray everything properly, instead of just pumping out content. Glad you're liking it. <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>I thought for sure that Danger and Backyard were gonna get the titles. But the bios posted after made sense has the JYD's are one of two established tag teams.</div></blockquote> I posted the first show on purpose without providing any context, in order to give you that uncertain, unknown "anything can happen" feeling that fans had coming in. Think the "impromptu" parking lot brawl was a pretty clear sign from the start. From the looks of it, I achieved what I wanted and therefore I'm happy. <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>Is Dae Young a somewhat take on The Velveteen Dream? Very interesting character, especially in this environment. Def. interested in that character and where you take him.</div></blockquote> Closest real world example I have in mind is Jimmy Jacobs back in the days of MTV's "Wrestling Society X" when he used to team with (then) Tyler Black a.k.a. Seth Rollins. He's a quasi-goth character into being moody, mysterious and all that. Kinda like an evolved version of Raven, but moodier and with self loathing instead of confidence. <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div>The main event was cool and the, i guess, you have to consider it a heel turn by Bobo The Clown was great setting up the first couple of shows/month around your main title. Be interesting to see how the tag team champs in another promotion are getting on in yours. I'm sure we'll get the updates from XCW too. Is there an actual face/heel divide in this company?</div></blockquote> First show (late August) was done using a face/heel divide, but once I switched the schedule into touring come September, I figured it was too restrictive given the available talent pool and sheer amount of shows so I removed it (via editor). Stud debuted as a face, Bobo debuted as a heel, but as I said, I wanted an air of mystique, confusion and uncertainty about. No one knew exactly what was going on, which made for a great "heel turn" moment in the finish.

DarK_RaideR · September 4, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Tuesday Week 1 of September 2017 Venue: The Black Sheep, downtown Topeka, Kansas, Mid South U.S. Attendance: 547 out of 650</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Jim Skullet and the Junkyard Dogs are teaming up against El Psicopata, Kaleidoscope and Mimic and it's clear fans are on the side of the redneck team against the trio of "freaks". The footage shows a few big spots from every wrestler, with best moments being when the Junkyard Dogs drive Kaleidoscope through a table with a double chokeslam and when Jim Skullet hits him with the Freedom Facebuster for the pin. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> The Inbreds, Ur Anus and Scruffy Joe, are shown swinging chairs against the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser and Uncle Badtouch. A typical chaotic hardcore weapons brawl with little sense or cohesiveness as blood is poured by the gallon before Scruffy Joe pins Uncle Badtouch with his Scrumpy Jack Payoff finisher, which the announcers comment he has now renamed to Scrumpy Jackoff. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Danger Young is shown roughing up a local talent by the name of Oscar E, who fans are extremely vocal against. As the announcing duo lets us know, Oscar E's career highlight so far has been "surviving" a match against Sheik Balazaar before losing. This one is no different and Young destroys the jobber before delivering the Carnage Crush onto a steel chair. As soon as the match is over, Sheik Balazaar comes out already covered in blood and proceeds to lay waste to both men, much to the fans' delight. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Highlights of Jax Traylor hitting his various moves on Dae Young are shown next, with fans in Arkansas letting their opinion on the young Asian be heard until Traylor mercifully ends the bout with his Jaxed Up finisher. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> “The Samoan Studd” Siaki Uta’i is in the ring, cutting a promo to introduce himself and let Arkansas fans into his history with Bobo the Clown, who he calls out. The Hardcore Clown answers the challenge with his trademark barb wire bat in hand to sneak attack Uta'i and kick off the main event, a Deathmatch between the two. From the edited footage, it seems like every man had his moments and despite Uta'i winning, the feud remained unresolved as victory came through an "accidental" surprise cradle.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · September 4, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Wednesday Week 1 of September 2017 Venue: The North Star Bar, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Mid Western U.S. Attendance: 554 out of 650</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Carefully edited footage shows the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser and Uncle Badtouch fighting it out in a dreadful match. 3B ends up winning it via his “Bludgeon Until Still” finisher which is exactly what it sounds like. “Wild” William Kent then shows up to clean house, beating up both men to roaring approval from the fans. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Mimic and Dae Yong are battling it out in what could best be described as an attempt to recreate their matches in Oriental Fight Club. The Deathmatch setup allows for plenty of crazy spots and bloodshed for the fans and highlight reel, with Mimic eventually getting the pinfall win via Laughing Stock. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Highlights from a match where the Inbreds face off against Brodie Osiris and Danger Young roll up next, with the established team clearly in control but the opposition showing a hellacious never-say-die attitude that keeps them in the match on more than one occasion, until Ur Anus finally gets the win after hitting the Preparation H-Bomb on Young. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Hardcore maniacs Bobo and Sheik Balazaar are facing off against the comparatively more clean-cut team of Samoan Studd and Jax Traylor in a Deathmatch for the main event. Traylor seems to be a little lost given the environment and opponents, which steadily tips the match in favor of Bobo and the Sheik until he finds himself on the receiving end of a Cruel Joke that ends the match.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · September 4, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Thursday Week 1 of September 2017 Venue: The Boardwalk Amphitheater, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, Mid Atlantic U.S. Attendance: 549 out of 569</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Kaleidoscope and El Psicópata are slugging it out in the opener, with the crowd being as dead as it gets; even when Kaleidoscope hits the Mad Scientist for the win, those few who bother to react do so to boo the winner. It’s only when the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser shows up chair in hand to unload on Kaleidoscope that the audience comes alive, cheering as 3B shouts out profanities about Philadelphia and roars stuff about his own home town. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Some footage of Scruffy Joe and Dae Yong trading blows. Then the Transient comes in and turns things around. Joe tags in Ur Anus, who takes the fight to the Transient, before Yong is tagged back in and unceremoniously destroyed by the Inbreds. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Heyman E. Danger has left colour commentary in order to join Jax Traylor in the ring. Assisted by Danger, Traylor talks about how he will destroy the obnoxious Runt Derby and everything the AWF alumni represents. Next up is footage of the match itself with Danger at ringside guiding Traylor against the plucky underdog cruiserweight. The local hero’s recklessness has always been his calling card and while it makes for a few exciting offensive spots, it also backfires when he tries to dive off the apron to the outside, only for Traylor to catch him for a Death Valley Driver onto the ring steps. It’s all Traylor from there, up to the Jaxed Up finisher that wins him the match. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Samoan Studd, Sheik Balazaar and Bobo the Hardcore Clown are trading blows in the main event, a Triple Threat Deathmatch. Despite being the only one who’s not a pure hardcore psychopath, Studd proves he can hang with his two opponents, soaking up inhuman amounts of punishment and even pinning the legendary Sheik clean for the win. Still, Studd doesn’t seem to enjoy his achievement, instead he gets on the mic to tell Bobo he’s the one he was out for and nothing’s over between them.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · September 5, 2018

FMM Tour Highlights

Episode date: Tuesday Week 2 of September 2017

Venue: The Abatoir, Colombus, Ohio, Great Lakes U.S.

Attendance: 512 out of 800

[sTATIC]

El Psicópata and Baltimore Backyard Bruiser are trading weapons shots in the opening highlight reel. Even in this edited version, their apparent chemistry is obvious, making for a captivating visual as the two of them bleed buckets, before 3B wins the bout via Bludgeon Until Still.

[sTATIC]

Dae Yong is up to his usual odd antics, but theatrics aside, there is little he can do against Jim Skullet, who manages to fire up the crowd with them good ol’ patriotic “U-S-A” chants before demolishing the young Asian with a Freedom Facecrusher for the pin.

[sTATIC]

FMM’s resident redneck tag team and reigning Faces of Death champions are shown next, fighting a match against Mimic and Uncle Badtouch. The pairing sounds unusual besides their common “freak factor” denominator, but somehow the magic is there and Mimic not only holds the match together, but outshines everyone with his berzerker antics once blood has been shed and he goes to that dark place in his head. Luke Miller still takes home the win with a Miller Driver on Badtouch, but it’s clear that Mimic has won over a fair share of fans with his performance by the end of this.

[sTATIC]

Samoan Studd and Bobo the Hardcore Clown are shown in the ring, having a back and forth chat that recaps their story for the Ohio fans, before addressing the decision to have them team up in the main event tonight against the Inbreds. Footage cuts to the actual match and it’s clear the two of them just can’t work together. Still, for all their experience, the Inbreds can’t capitalize, mainly due to the plodding Ur Anus struggling to keep up with everyone else, leading to the finish of Bobo pinning him after a Cruel Joke, giving the win to the odd pairing of frienemies who seem ready to implode, but decide against it, instead returning (separately) backstage.

DarK_RaideR · September 5, 2018

FMM Tour Highlights

Episode date: Wednesday Week 2 of September 2017

Venue: The Juju Room, New Orleans, Louisiana, South Eastern U.S.

Attendance: 519 out of 600

[sTATIC]

The Inbreds are shown beating up the pairing of Danger Young and Oscar Bryant. Young’s reckless offense is the only thing preventing the Inbreds from completely ominating the bout, as Bryant isn’t exactly lighting up the place. Eventually, Scruffy Joe is able to hit the Scrumpy Jackoff on Bryant and pin him while Ur Anus holds Young at bay.

[sTATIC]

“Wild” William Kent and Brodie Osiris are putting everything on the line in the footage from the next match, a full-on car crash of wild brawling, weapons spots and the occasional suicidal dive amongst a lot of bloodshed. Kent seems to be struggling for air after Osiris hits him with a DDT onto the barricade, but somehow manages to bust out the Skull Crusher to win the match and beat his opponent. Heyman E. Danger then stands up from his seat at the announcers’ table to grab a mic and challenge Kent to a match on behalf of his client, Jax Traylor. As soon as Kent mutters that he accepts, Traylor shows up and attacks him from behind as Danger looks over with a satisfied smile on his face.

[sTATIC]

Cue to the next match and Jax Traylor is in the ring, wrestling against the Transient. The two men’s styles seem to mesh pretty nicely and it brings out the best performance the Transient has had with FMM so far. Still, it’s not good enough to defeat the Nevada native, who picks up another win via his Jaxed Up finisher.

[sTATIC]

Samoan Studd is in the ring, talking about how he pinned Sheik Balazaar last week in Delaware, a match that his FMM nemesis, Bobo the Hardcore Clown, was in too. The editing skips the recap of their rivalry for the local fans, moving on to the point where Studd says he’ll beat Balazaar again tonight in a singles bout, before moving on to defeat Bobo as well. Sheik Balazaar’s music interrupts him and the Ghanian Grizzly comes out covered in blood to roar a challenge on the mic and kick off the match. The highlight reel cuts to big spots from the match, eventually ending with Studd pulling the Island Driver on Sheik for the pin.

DarK_RaideR · September 5, 2018

FMM Tour Highlights

Episode date: Thursday Week 2 of September 2017

Venue: Clairefield Park, Milton, New Hampshire, New England U.S.

Attendance: 613 out of 650

[sTATIC]

Heyman E. Danger is shown in the middle of the ring addressing the smarky FMM fans in his first visit to the venue without him being a member of the ESW roster any more. He then talks about his new finding in Jax Traylor, before Ur Anus comes out to make crude jokes on the two, which sees Danger book them in a match for the show's main event.

[sTATIC]

Footage from Oscar Bryant vs El Psicópata is edited together for the highlight reel next, though it' still obvious Bryant is a bit rusty throwing his weight around. This has him botch a move big time on the masked Mexican, to the point where the ref throws the dreaded X sign and the match is quickly wrapped up with a pin on El Psicópata.

[sTATIC]

Hardcore deathmatch wrestling has been the target of much criticism as "garbage wrestling" and for good reason at times. One of those times is the match pieced together next, an embarrassing steaming hot overbooked mess between Dae Yong and the Transient, with the latter winning thanks to his Vagrant's Debt finisher.

[sTATIC]

Bobo the Hardcore Clown and Mimic are revisiting their dream match from FMM Coast to Coast for the local fans in the show's semi-main event, though the setting is significantly tamer to the Ultimate Deathmatch they had at the big August show. Once again Bobo gets the win, even if he has to use the ropes to secure it. The edit fast-forwards to Samoan Studd showing up once the match is over to cut a promo and promise that what Bobo went through tonight will be nothing compared to what he'll put him through when they finally clash at this month's major show.

[sTATIC]

Before the main event, the ring announcer explains the new stipulation called a "Whip it" match. A hybrid of the Coal Miner's Glove match and the Singapore Cane match, this one involves a whip that's hung up on a pole. Once it's retrieved, the match stops and whoever retrieved it gets to whip their opponent ten times before the match continues normally, with the whip now being a legal weapon.

[sTATIC]

Cut to highlights from the main event, where Jax Traylor is facing Ur Anus in a Whip It match. Heyman E. Danger has left colour commentary to be at ringside for Traylor. Thanks to an assist from his manager, Traylor is able to grab the whip. Cut to Traylor whipping the back of Ur Anus, every lash making the skin red until it bursts open in a sight that's hard to watch. The montage ends with Traylor hitting a spinebuster and a couple of other moves that send his opponent crashing back first onto the mat, creating an opening for him to hit the Jaxed Up and win the match via pinfall.

DarK_RaideR · September 11, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Tuesday Week 3 of September 2017 Venue: The Queen City Ballroom, Buffalo, New York, Tri State U.S. Attendance: 561 out of 990</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> A man in a black hood with a skull mask is shown, with the announcing team identifying him as "Amanojaku", presumably a "hardcore spirit summoned by bloodshed" that's been "haunting hardcore deathmatch promotions around the world". The gimmickry is abruptly cut by Sheik Balazaar who shows up to beat the newcomer to the roaring approval of the crowd. The Ghanian Grizzly produces a whip and hands it to the referee, intimidating him into making this impromptu match into a Whip It match, the stipulation Jax Traylor introduced recently. The match plays out nothing like the first one though, as Balazaar completely dominates the match and even when a desperate Amanojaku gets hold of the whip, the Sheik takes (and promptly no-sells) all ten blows, only getting angrier to hit the masked newcomer with the Arabian Crash for the pin. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Highlights from Jim Skullet vs Kaleidoscope roll next, a bloody, chaotic, overbooked mayhem of a bout with fans once again crapping all over Kaleidoscope despite Skullet's best efforts to carry him through the match before he delivers the Freedom Facecrush to beat him. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Now calling themselves (or at least referred to as) Politically Incorrect, the team of Mimic and Uncle Badtouch are fighting the Inbreds. Scruffy Joe is the MVP here, though Ur Anus scores the pin after hitting Uncle Badtouch with the Preparation H-Bomb. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Once again, Heyman E. Danger has left the announcers' table to get in the ring and promote his "next big thing" in Jax Traylor. Assisted by his manager, Traylor cuts a promo to challenge William Kent. He then proceeds to destroy a local jobber by the fitting name of Trash Park Tony, who the fans treat with utter contempt on top of him being rusty, way off game and clearly lacking any sign of stamina. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Samoan Studd and Bobo the Hardcore Clown are having a back and forth verbal war in the ring to recap their rivalry for the Tri State fans who only know them as tag partners in other promotions thus far. Things heat up pretty quick and capitalizing on fan heat, Studd and Bobo agree to not wait until FMM's big monthly event at the end of the month, but instead fight a one on one Deathmatch for the FMM King of Kings title, right here and now. The surprise title match is a smashing success, despite both men being gassed out by the ending sequence. Samoan Studd gets the win to retain, but it only comes in the form of a lucky roll up and as the show ends, it's clear the rivalry is not over.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · September 11, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Wednesday Week 3 of September 2017 Venue: The Black Sheep, Topeka, Kansas, Mid Southern U.S. Attendance: 577 out of 650</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> The show opens with Jax Traylor talking trash about "Wild" William Kent, aided by Heyman E. Danger at his side. Once he's over, Traylor retreats backstage and Danger takes his seat on color commentary for the opener, a mess of a match in which Kent defeats Dae Yong, courtesy of several weapons laying around and his Skull Crusher finisher. Unlike his matches for FMM so far, Yong seems sharper, as if he's finally managed to shake of the rust. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> In an equally short but way more one-sided squash of a match, Sheik Balazaar makes short work of Kaleidoscope, who he mercilessly beats up until he sees the blood dripping from under his mask before ending things with the Arabian Crush. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Danger Young is shown in the ring with Bobo the Hardcore Clown, trading words before their scheduled match for the night. The footage then cuts to the match itself, a Deathmatch that Bobo wins clean thanks to a rookie mistake by Young that allows him to deliver the Cruel Joke. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Samoan Studd is out in the ring when Ur Anus comes out with a mic in hand to make terrible puns about the champion. Things quickly come into blows much to the delight of the suffering audience and in the ensuing Deathmatch, Ur Anus is as bad as he was on the mic, managing to make the main event less exciting than Young and Bobo's barn burner that came before it, before Studd defeats him with an Island Driver.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · September 11, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Thursday Week 3 of September 2017 Venue: The North Star Bar, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Mid Western U.S. Attendance: 600 out of 650</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Addressing the fans before the show's opening match, Bobo the Hardcore Clown recaps what went down between him and Samoan Studd since the last time FMM was in town, before hyping up their match set for the promotion's big monthly event, which he now reveals as being named "FMM Battle Lines" <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> FMM Faces of Death champions The Junkyard Dogs are shown in action against Politically Incorrect, the newly forged team of Mimic and Uncle Badtouch. The actual wrestling isn't really there, but there's plenty of stunts and weapon shots to distract from that before Butch Williams hits the Steel Spike on Uncle Badtouch to win the match for his team. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Dae Yong is shown fighting a hopeless battle against hardcore legend Sheik Balazaar. The mayhem has fans baying for blood and Yong's new found sharpness only helps keep him in the match a bit longer before the Ghanian Grizzly drops him for the count with an Arabian Crash. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Jim Skullet is fighting Oscar Bryant in the following match and despite their best efforts, they can't get past the fact that they don't click as opponents. The editing tries to pull the best out of the bout, but there's precious little spots that are watchable before Skullet wins via pinfall after the Freedom Facecrush. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Bobo the Hardcore Clown and "Wild" William Kent are an unlikely, yet rather savage pairing as they fight the Inbreds in a Deathmatch for the show's main event. Kent's age is showing but he can still go both in and out of the ring, keeping up his part of the bout well enough to allow Bobo to win it after hitting Ur Anus with the Cruel Joke.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · September 17, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Tuesday Week 4 of September 2017 Venue: Clairefield Park, Milton, New Hampshire, New England U.S. Attendance: 637 out of 650</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Footage of an extremely one-sided match rolls first, showing Sheik Balazaar destroying Uncle Badtouch with pretty much any item he can get his hands on, before hitting the Arabian Crash onto a patch of thumbtacks for the pin. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Mimic and Amanojaku are shown fighting it out next, with fans not quite warming up to either man or the action on display. The match ends with Mimic pinning the hooded man in the skull mask after hitting him with a Laughing Stock. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> More footage of terrible wrestling sown together in a montage, this time with Kaleidoscope fighting Danger Young. Fans are cheering Young and totally crapping on his masked opponent, yet when the latter comes back with a never-before-seen hope spot, he seems to win over part of the audience, if only momentarily before he's hit with the Carnage Crush and pinned by Danger Young. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> With Heyman E. Danger by his side and helping him on the mic, "The Next Big Thing" Jax Traylor calls out "Wild" William Kent for a fight. The wild man from the Rockies does indeed show up and in the match that ensues hits Traylor with more than he bargained for. This does however exhaust Kent and eager to capitalize, Heyman E. Danger (who's been on Traylor's corner instead of color commentary throughout the match) distracts him just long enough for Traylor to hit the Jaxed Up and win the match. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Scruffy Joe is up next in singles action without Ur Anus by his side, fighting the FMM King of Kings himself. Samoan Studd makes the best of the Deathmatch stipulation, including spreading thumbtacks and broken glass all around for Joe to step on with his torn-up boots. Joe puts on his game face for the entire match and makes Studd work hard for the victory but eventually succumbs when the champion, wheezing and gasping for air, hits him with the Island Driver 3000.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · September 17, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Wednesday Week 4 of September 2017 Venue: The Abatoir, Colombus, Ohio, Great Lakes U.S. Attendance: 524 out of 800</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Samoan Studd and Bobo the Hardcore Clown are trading words in the center of the ring, recapping their rivalry for FMM fans in Colombus, Ohio, when Scruffy Joe storms the ring with a kendo stick wrapped in barb wire. After whacking Studd in the back with it, Joe proceeds to do some comedy swordfighting with Bobo and his barb wire bat, before forcing him to a retreat as it's announced that these three will be fighting it out in the main event. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Dae Yong and Kaleidoscope are shown next, trading weapons shots and bleeding generously in one hell of an overbooked mayhem of a match. What this match is worth for is the fact that only Dae Yong is booed by extremely vocal crowd, meaning it's the first time fans don't crap on Kaleidoscope, who also picks up the win after hitting his opponent with a Mad Scientist. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Amanojaku is working another terrible match in the next edited footage, this time against Oscar Bryant, who he also loses to when Bryant manages to piledrive him onto a garbage can, his trademark Garbage Driller finisher. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Ohio fans have little love for the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser, who's up next against Mimic. "The Original Hardcore Clown" unloads on the veteran, until he hits the Laughing Stock to win the match. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> As announced at the opening of the show, Bobo, Scruffy Joe and Samoan Studd are fighting it out in the main event under Deathmatch rules. The setting makes for plenty of opportunities to hit dangerous spots, use various weapons and of course, bleed buckets. Bobo is right at home in this hardcore environment and thus his two opponents understand it's best if they work together to neutralize him. That is exactly what they do, before Studd immediately turns on his temporary ally for the Island Driver and the pin.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · September 17, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Thursday Week 4 of September 2017 Venue: The Juju Room, New Orleans, Louisiana, South Eastern U.S. Attendance: 496 out of 600</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Providing an entertaining start to the show, if somewhat painful for the brain, depending on your sense of humor, Samoan Studd and Bobo the Hardcore Clown are jousting verbally and recapping their feud for FMM fans in NOLA, when Ur Anus comes out for an attempt to insult them both with cheap puns. Studd dismisses him, but Bobo responds, kicking off a pun contest. The segment ends with Studd showing no sense of humor when he attacks both before leaving for the backstage area. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Despite not getting the hated reaction some of his FMM peers do, Amanojaku may just be the worst in-ring performer of them all, quickly becoming a smarky joke among the promotion's faithful. In this footage, he's fighting a terrible yet bloody battle against the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser, who proceeds to do exactly what his finisher says, bludgeoning the 'hardcore poltergeist' until still for the pin. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> Tag team action is up next, with hardcore clowns Bobo and Mimic teaming up against backyard brawlers Brodie Osiris and Dae Yong. Despite his best effort, Osiris can't cover up his partner in the ring or in the eyes of the fans who passionately love to hate the Asian import. Apparently the bookers are well aware and in a feel-good finish, Dae Yong is hit with the Laughing Stock, Mimic pinning him while Bobo keeps Osiris at bay. <div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]</div> The main event is a non-title Deathmatch featuring Samoan Studd and Ur Anus. Finishing what he did at the show's opening, Studd manages to beat up his opponent bad enough to keep him down for the three count after an Island Driver 3000 in a pretty decent match, at least from what the edited footage lets show.</div></blockquote>

DarK_RaideR · October 18, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC]

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BF: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Olympia Events Center here in the North Pacific coast, this is Full Metal Mayhem Hardcore Wrestling! My name is Brendon Franklin and I will be joined for the show by the legend himself, Heyman E. Danger, who is now waiting in the middle of the ring to welcome more than two thousand fans to tonight's show, FMM Battle Lines!"

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H.E.D: "Welcome everyone to the underground home of the most extreme hardcore wrestling across the nation, this is Full Metal Mayhem! My name is Heyman E. Danger and I am doubly happy to stand here before you tonight as my client Jax Traylor not only survived a pre-show attack from those nasty Inbreds, he also managed to whoop their ass! Since a certain man who goes under the name of Jim Skullet was caught in the middle of this, I figured I might as well make it official and add another tag team victory to my client's resume. There is no denying the Next Big Thing and sooner or later, he will be gunning for the FMM King of Kings title again, whether it's held by Samoan Studd, Bobo the Hardcore Clown or anyon..."

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Sheik Balazaar's music interrupts the promo and the Ghanian Grizzly makes his entrance, already cut and bleeding from whatever debauchery he was involved with backstage. Fans cheer and with a nasty grin on his face, the Sheik gets in the ring to grab the mic off Heyman E. Danger's hands.

S.B: "You go sit there and do your commentary from that table! Favoring your beefy boyfriend while disrespecting me! That's right, you disrespect me! I signed to fight for FMM because I was promised the most brutal, hardcore deathmatches, but I have yet to face an opponent worthy of my legendary standing in the business. Tonight is no different. I will destroy these younglings, then destroy the entire roster, match after match, until there's no one but the champion left standing, then I'll destroy him too and claim the FMM King of Kings title!"

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Deathmatch

Sheik Balazaar & Kaleidoscope vs Dae Yong & Amanojaku</div>

Barely classifying as an actual match, this chaotic brawl is as one sided as they come, with Sheik Balazaar bulldozing past the opposition and Kaleidoscope keeping up as best as he can. Given the palpable fan hatred for Dae Yong and Amanojaku though, the action is well received and Amanojaku's rustiness is hidden when he's eliminated early after Balazaar powerbombs him off the apron and through a table. Despite the Sheik's dominant performance, it's Kaleidoscope who steals the show with the big finish that wraps up the mayhem when he hits an insane dive on Dae Yong off the lighting rig, before barely standing up to execute the Mad Scientist and pin him.

Rating: E+ 34

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FMM Faces of Death title match

The Junkyard Dogs vs Politically Incorrect</div>

The defending champions get a good reaction entering with the masks on their faces and Luke Miller brawls it out with Mimic to kick off the match, mask still on in a mockery of his facepainted opponent. Mimic whips Miller to his corner where Uncle Badtouch is waiting with a sledgehammer in hand and the two proceed to soften up one half of the champions. This of course has Butch Williams charge in for the save an the match turns into a de facto tornado tag where anything goes. The action spills out at ringside and the brawl quickly brings blood, but Uncle Badtouch lacks the skill and stamina to keep up with such a pace, a combination that quickly leads to the champions focusing their attacks on him until Williams hits the Steel Spike on him, head first onto a bed of nails, for the pin. Fans cheer at the champs for retaining, while Mimic leaves his partner behind as he shakes his head in disappointment.

Rating: E+ 33

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FMM Hardcore title Fatal Four Way Deathmatch

Brodie Osiris vs Danger Young vs Oscar Bryant vs The Transient</div>

The match to crown the inaugural FMM Hardcore champion is a bloody free-for-all packed with action, violence and significantly more wrestling than those preceding it. Fan support seems to be evenly split, though Transient seems to be getting somewhat better reactions while Bryant's probably the most indifferent competitor, at least in comparison to the others. What's certainly split even is the offense, with every man having his moment in the sun as the match flow shifts constantly, creating a feeling it could end either way at any given moment. Things get rough for Danger Young after a nasty landing hurts his arm, something the Transient picks up on and targets the damaged limb with shots from a baseball bat he's wielding. In a final attempt to get fans behind him, Bryant wraps his considerable frame in barb wire and hurls his body as a weapon at both, creating a "holy sh*t" chant from the bloodthirsty FMM fans. With everyone else out of the picture, Brodie Osiris has plenty of time to pull a satchel from under the ring apron and fill the canvas with thumbtacks, signalling his trademark "Pin Cushion" finisher is at hand. Whether reinvigorated by fan support or having taken the least damage from that last big spot, Bryant is the unlucky one who recovers first and ends up taking the move, with Osiris pinning him to become the first ever FMM Hardcore champion.

Rating: D 44

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As the new champion celebrates his victory, "Wild" William Kent rushes to the ring and clogs him from behind, then stomps on him. The attack is made even worse by the fact that the mat is still full of thumbtacks, ironically a weapon Osiris has become known for. Once he's happy with his assault, Kent raises the FMM Hardcore title in a clear challenge, then lays it on top of the fallen champion.

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FMM King of Kings title Deathmatch

Samoan Studd vs Bobo the Hardcore Clown</div>

Perhaps the only match on the card to involve some actual background story, this sees the XCW teammates turned FMM rivals fight it out with the main title on the line. Bobo looks determined to win and with the freedom of the No DQ stipulation a Deathmatch includes, he openly pulls off every dirty little trick he can muster to one-up his opponent, while Studd relies on sheer heart, grit and determination to see him through. Being familiar with each other, the two workers go through several spots of avoiding or reversing each other's attacks and there is actual wrestling on display, a huge jump in quality from all the other matches so far. That's not to say that extreme hardcore spots and weapons aren't involved, after all it's a deathmatch and no more than five minutes into it, both competitors are wearing the crimson mask; Bobo looks perversely pleased to be tasting blood, an act made all the more creepier by his clown facepaint, while the visual further amplifies Studd's fighting spirit.

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However, the very same no DQ clause that unleashes Bobo to go berzerk is the same that ultimately comes back to haunt him, as Mimic decides to involve himself in the main event. The originator of the "hardcore clown" gimmick and Bobo's opponent a month ago at FMM's first ever show, Mimic has good reason for his actions here and his appearance is more than enough to tip the scales in favor of the champion, who gets a chance to recover and push forth in one last big heroic run against all odds, eventually hitting a huge Island Driver 3000 on Bobo for the pin.

Rating: B- 73

DarK_RaideR · November 6, 2018

<div style="text-align:center;">FMM Tour Highlights Episode date: Tuesday Week 1 of October 2017 Venue: The Lucky Dog Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada, South Western U.S. Attendance: 493 out of 500</div> <blockquote data-ipsquote="" class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote-contentapp="forums" data-ipsquote-contenttype="forums" data-ipsquote-contentid="45749" data-ipsquote-contentclass="forums_Topic"><div><div style="text-align:center;">[sTATIC] Heyman E. Danger is in the ring to kick off the show, saying FMM hasn't been in its home region since its first show, Coast to Coast and it's good to be back. He says FMM has come a long way since and so has his client, Jax Traylor, who he brings out. "The Next Big Thing" says he's happy to be back in his home state of Nevada, but gets interrupted by his scheduled opponent for tonight's main event, Ur Anus, who comes out to talk trash about Traylor and the City of Sin. Things almost come to blows but Heyman E. Danger is able to contain the situation when he says that given the location, he shall give some Vegas flavor to their match but with a unique FMM spin, as it will be contested within the confines of a barb wire cage. [sTATIC] Jim Skullet is on the offensive against Kaleidoscope, making the best of his -clearly superior- technical wrestling skills and power to control his younger opponent. In a moment of desperation, Kaleidoscope rakes the eyes just out of the referee's sight and uses the momentary distraction to pull down Skullet's star-spangled headband for a choking situation. The heel move, oddly enough, does send the usually smarky FMM audience into a few patriotic "U-S-A" chants, even though Kaleidoscope is originally from Philadelphia and Skullet plays to it as he "hulks up" to recover while his masked opponent is outside the ring looking for a weapon. Exploding into action like a firework on the 4th of July, Skullet catches Kaleidoscope by surprise as he comes back into the ring with a chair in hand and slams him face first on it with the Freedom Facecrusher for the pin to win the match. [sTATIC] Even for FMM standards, the ring looks like a warzone, with blood and weapons all around. It's what can be expected though when Scruffy Joe is up against Dae Yong and in some weird way, the two of them work surprisingly well as opponents as they maim and bloody each other with everything they can get their hands on. Yong gets a few "you can't wrestle" chants, but responds with sheer brutality, keeping the adrenaline and shock factor all the way to eleven in order to make up for his 'technical' shortcomings. This of course keeps the match extremely short and Joe is the one to pick up the win after connecting with the Scrumpy Jackoff. [sTATIC] Brodie Osiris is out in the ring, brandishing the new FMM Hardcore title he won just days ago. His victory speech is interrupted by 'Wild' William Kent, the man who assaulted him right after the match was over. The Wild Man from the Rockies proceeds to explicitly issue a challenge for the title, saying he'll even grant the Nebraskan champion home advantage. Osiris promises once FMM is in the Mid West, he will put the title on the line against Kent in a Thumbtacks match! [sTATIC] Wearing the FMM Faces of Death masks which they won at the promotion's debut show in the South West, the Junkyard Dogs come out to defend them against the 'hobo' team of the Transient and the Baltimore Backyard Bruiser. While still a highly violent hardcore match, this isn't up to par with the extremities of Scruffy Joe versus Dae Yong earlier and it looks like being at the casino has already started taking its toll on the challengers: 3B is piss drunk, while the Transient probably gambled most of his ring gear before the match even started. These theatrics make for an entertaining touch amidst the extremeties and are nicely worked into the finish as well, where the Transient is busy picking up poker chips he found at ringside, leaving a wasted 3B to take a Doomsday Device from the champions who score the pin. [sTATIC] Bobo the Hardcore Clown is in the ring, getting a mixed reaction from the fans. He talks about FMM's first and only show in the South West so far, bringing up his dream match against Mimic back then and informing the fans about what happened in the main event of Battle Lines, ironically setting the two of them into a crash course again. Samoan Studd comes out to chip in, saying he won the FMM King of Kings title at that event only to get stabbed in the back by Bobo, who he feuded with ever since, so the way he sees it, it's a cruel but fair joke that Bobo missed his shot due to interference from Mimic. Before Bobo can respond, Mimic crawls out from under the apron, slides into the ring and grabs out Bobo's barb-wire covered bat to beat him down with it! [sTATIC] A cage has been erected around the ring, with rows of razor wire wrapped all over. Heyman E. Danger leads "The Next Big Thing" to the ring and introduces him once again to the audience, before taking his seat back at the commentary table. Ur Anus makes his entrance next and the door is locked shut so the match can begin. Circling around the ring, Traylor takes pot shots at his opponent, remniscent of a boxer or mixed martial artist, though Ur Anus shrugs them all off. The hometown hero throws some sweeping leg kicks into the mix, again to no avail, so he shoots for a takedown. His plan backfires though, as Ur Anus had been laying in wait and uses his momentum against him, sending him into the barb wire wall. Things get ugly from there, with Ur Anus using his size and weight to smother Traylor against the wall. Bleeding top to bottom, a blinded Traylor walks into a scoop slam, but the adrenaline helps him kick out of the subsequent pin attempt. Now forsaking technique for sheer aggression, Traylor seizes the initiative to unload on his opponent with strikes, eventually hitting a haymaker straight to his jaw that sets him up for his Jaxed Up finisher and the pin.</div></div></blockquote>

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[LondonVerse] Full Metal Mayhem: Heyman E. Danger's Revenge

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