NYCW: The End of the Road

[Darin Walker]

Poking around the C-Verse one morning, as one does, looking for a game to get into as we make our way into the home stretch of TEW 2020, I just barely resist the urge for a Babes of Sin City revival and stumble across NYCW. I always forget these guys exist. But if there's anything a like more than strippers and New Jack, it's hosses doing retro wrestling. The fact that a born and raised New Yorker (upstate, not that weird little island chain down there) makes it a natural fit. Probably. Well, we're doing it, so let's do it.

 

Owner goals are in from bossman Vessey: No debt, luchadors, or people over 45. Never mind that my main event scene is largely old folks; they don't count. Young and fat will likely be my hiring strategy regardless. Especially since USPW is already stealing my champion. Outstanding.

 

We're crap in basically all production categories compared to our peers, but I'm not touching that until I get a feel for finances. Sucks having to worry about money again. Having my top star pillaged will help the old budget, at least.

 

Skimming through the roster gives me some ideas at least. Honest Frank is a favorite of mine from other games, Man Mountain Cahill will get work on that name alone, and I've already found my own personal project to work on in the undercard. Long time readers familiar with the roster will probably guess who.

 

My user character seems to be an old road to glory character with all entertainment stats and no actual wrestling skills, so I'm promoting myself as the usual babyface jobber for the heels to munch on. Just with a sexier mask.

 

And another new goal, don't fall below Small. No promises. Next day, told not to hire spot monkeys. Why would I even do that in a promotion like this? Whatevs, he's the boss. For now.

 

Hawkeye Calhoun is complaining that he needs a better push. I agreed with him. Then I asked my secretary who the hell he even was after he left.

 

The girls at AAA want my color guy, but it's just a timeshare deal, so I'll allow it. You know, since I can't do anything about it anyway.

 

And the day of my first show, Roger Cage has left the building, handing me the Empire title on the way out. Just the way I like to start a new job. Time for a new champion.

 

NYCW Rush Hour

 

1000 people showed up to laugh at my lack of a champion

 

The Boys From the Yukon vs The Ring Generals

for the COTT World Tag Team titles

 

Well I had to have some kind of title match, right? The Generals are a good solid team from all accounts, not to mention named Statler and Waldorf. The Boys are....exactly what you'd imagine with that name. Meant to be a good solid opener to get the crowd pumped, it did just that, with the Generals defending their titles successfully after a Waldorf Salad Toss. I'm sorry, what? Rating: D-. What kind of finisher is...never mind, don't tell me. I'd rather not know.

 

Tennessee William vs Devastating Don

 

Tenny there is a blues singer, I guess. Don is an enormous fat slob with absolutely no notable skills. So naturally he's my pick for the rocket push up the ladder. We had a spare manager lying around, so I named her Nurse Hathaway and decided she's a cardiac specialist trying to make sure Don doesn't blow an artery and spray blood and turkey gravy all over the place. Don wins via squash, which could probably be taken literally. Rating: E. Hathaway turned heel from keeping Don alive. Because no babyface would do that to us.

 

Man Mountain Cahill vs Darin Walker

 

Oh man, I am garbage in the ring. And after that last match, that's saying something. This was another quick squash to establish that I'm here, and not very good. We certainly achieved those goals. Rating: E

 

The New York Doll vs Crockett Tubbs

for the NYCW Tri-State Regional title

 

Sadly, Tubbs is not fat, and the Doll is a guy. I was very disappointed to learn both these things. Match was fine though. Not-Tubby defended his title well, and what more can one ask for? Besides being FATTER. Rating: E+

 

Andrew Harper vs Dermot O'Logical

 

Harper's got a sweet-ass beard. Dermot is...I, uh, actually don't know what he is. But I wish he'd stop looking at me. Creeps me out. Beard is going to win out here, in our string of perfectly acceptable wrestling matches. Well, two of them. Rating: E+. I'm not actually sure Dermot's looking at me, but like his face is pointing at me. And it needs to stop.

 

Brooklyn's Finest vs Old School Principals

 

The Finest boys are that Hawkeye dude from earlier and Freedom Eagle, who I also don't know. Isn't that useful information? I gave Hawkeye Cheerleader Nicki as a manager, since Cage went to greener pastures and neglected to bring her. Bit of a downgrade, one might say. The principals are Rick Sanders, who looks generic as a CAW before you play with the sliders, and The Masked Mauler, who looks like he's pretending to be a cat pawing lazily at the window. In a mask. Let me assure you, cats do NOT like masks. Anyway, match was fine yet again, except for Hawkeye being only slightly less crap than I am. That's just depressing. Ricky Dullface and The Masked Kitty win. Rating: E+

 

Honest Frank is not suited to his gimmick, apparently. But that doesn't stop him from cutting a great promo, informing his opponent tonight, Steve Flash, that the suddenly available Empire title will be taken by three-time champion, but honestly, you know it has to be Frank. Rating: D

 

Steve Flash vs Honest Frank

 

But not tonight, as I have other plans for the title to be revealed. They did a fine job main eventing, which is good since they're main eventers. Honest Frank does manage to win with some heel work after a very closely contended match. I doubt this will make him less cocky in the future. Rating: D-

 

Final Show Rating: E. Guess that production hit is significant. Oops. Better find room in the budget quicklike. I praised the Generals for their fine work in the opener, and hugged Nurse Hathaway in my pervy fashion.

 

Skipping ahead to February, we managed to lose the regional battles we were in and some money. I am so good at this game. We didn't lose much money at least, so I'm bumping up production anyway. Not like it's my money, right?

 

Man, this might be a short run. But we'll see, as I take NYCW in a brand new direction. Straight into the ground. So join me next time, as the countdown to getting fired begins.

[Bigelow Cartwheel]

HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!

 

This is excellent. I'm glad that there's a similar tone to this as your others. I really like the feeling that everything is falling around you. It's what I stole for my diary after reading WC.W (please resurrect).