PSW: Welcome to my mid-life crisis

[jcarmjn]

 

PSW Championship - Ernest Youngman (c) v Nelson Callum

The final chapter of PSW's most storied rivalry takes place, with Callum attempting to regain the title he lost at Homecoming. Both men have vowed that this will be their last match, and to make it the best ever match in PSW history. Nelson has spent the month hitting the gym, looking more ripped than ever, while fractures have begun to appear in Ernest's relationship with his manager, Venus Angeletti. With both competitors tied at 1-1 for this year, there's everything to play for, and everything to lose

The Big Ass Brawl - Winner earns a PSW title shot - Acid, Acid II, Art Reed, Ash Campbell, Austin Smooth, Cerberus, Chris Caulfield, Cowboy Buck Winchester, Jackpot Jordan, Jake Idol, James Diaz, Jebediah, Logan Wolfsbaine, Mighty Cavanagh, Sayeed Ali, Sky Man, Teddy Powell, The King, The Silencer, Xavi Ferrera

20 men enter, and one will leave with a guaranteed shot at the PSW Championship. Alliances will be formed, friendships will be broken, rivalries will be renewed and blood will be spilled.

 

For predictions, we'll do the standard and a bonus question. So from the Big Ass Brawl, can you name...

The final four? 

The wrestler with the most eliminations?

And, after experimenting with the booking, I found two competitors who thought they should win the Big Ass Brawl, who were they?

 

Winner of the above earns a prize which will shape the future of this diary and an upcoming storyline.

 

Predictions, feedback, queries, chants and signs are most welcome. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MidKnightDreary]

Youngman 

Ali

Final 4: Ali, Campbell, Logan, Reed

Most Elims - Sky Man (with some help)

Big Egos - Campbell and Logan

[AboardTheArk]

Youngman vs Callum

Last time I went with Nelson, big mistake.

Campbell wins the Big Ass Brawl

final four? Campbell, Caufield, Logan, Ali

The wrestler with the most eliminations? Cavanaugh

And, after experimenting with the booking, I found two competitors who thought they should win the Big Ass Brawl, who were they? Caufield and Cavanaugh

[GreatreDRagon]

Youngman def. Callum

Logan Wolfsbaine wins the Big Ass Brawl

Final Four - Ali, Wolfsbaine, Caulfield, Campbell

Most Eliminations - Sayeed Ali

Big Egos - Caulfield & Wolfsbaine

 

[jcarmjn]

Last call for predictions. Big Ass Brawl should be up tomorrow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[azzak]

This has been great fun to catch up on over the past few days! 

Predictions:

Youngman def. Callum.

Wolfsbaine wins the Big Ass Brawl.

James Diaz gets the most eliminations. 

Wolfsbaine, Ali, Caulfield and Campbell are the final four.

Caulfield and Campbell are the two who felt they should win. 

[jcarmjn]

Preshow

Sick of making nuisance calls and bothering old ladies, Prime Time Jack Pryde hits the ring, with his top (only) client Vendetta in tow.

Pryde: 'This is a disgrace!

'A battle royale with 20-men in it, and the elitist management can't even find a place for my client, the toughest man on the roster, Vendetta!

'So, either you get a wrestler out here right now, or I have Wrestleworld's authority to shut down this prejudiced piece of s*** right now!'

I'm sure the powers-that-be were tempted to give this one a miss, nevertheless, a lesser spotted Little Bill Lebowski trundles down to the ring and starts windmilling at Vendetta. It looks like we have an impromptu match.'

 

Little Bill Lebowski v Vendetta

• Little Bill's haymakers put Vendetta on the backfoot straight away, with his angry little man syndrome kicking in perfectly
• But given his age and condition, the adrenaline soon wears out, and Vendetta takes over
• For the finish, Prime Time catches Little Bill coming off the ropes with his briefcase, causing it to open and all the confetti inside to fall out
• Vendetta hits his Anarchy in the USA finisher, and thankfully this one didn't last too long

Winner - Vendetta - Grade 31

 

As this is a big show, I thought I'd invest in another set, so we're back to the church of St Peter and Paul. The church is bathed in darkness until a match is struck, lighting candles that illuminate the Skye Man.

Skye: 'My Family, the time has come.' *A growl can be heard coming from the direction of Deathwish

'There is no place in the Family for apostates, non-believers, for those that wish to cloud your minds with promises of material pleasures that do not exist outside my church. And without them, we are only stronger. My Blood Soldiers, you will recover possessions that belong to the family, and that starts tonight.' *Deathwish stares intently at the Skye Man, yet Zomboy's attention seems to be elsewhere, as he stares off into the distance.

'Then, as it is written and as it shall come to pass, I will win the heathens' brawl and with it, the power to spread my message to the masses. 

'If you should ever find yourself in the same situation as the piggies, reach for the Skye.'

 

Mitch Naess: 'We are live and coming to you from the sold-out home of hardcore and streaming on Wrestleworld.
'We may be only one month out from Homecoming, but the big events keep coming in PSW.'

Alex Braun: 'That's right Mitch, 20 of the best wrestlers in the world today (lol) will enter the ring, and only one will be left standing. And that one man will be granted a title shot at a time of his choosing.'

Naess: 'Also, we have what Nelson Callum has promised to be the best-ever match in PSW history, as he and Ernest Youngman do battle for the PSW title one last time.'

Tyler: 'Who the hell does Callum think he is? He's lucky he's got a dance partner like Youngman. Trying dragging good matches out of Henry Lee and Travis Century, then you can put on the best match of all-time. Anyway, tonight promises to be a long show, so I'm going to try and get some shut-eye while the guys who couldn't make it into the Big Ass Brawl put on some bad matches. Wake me up when they're over.'

 

 vs 

• The king of the opening slot, Stuntman, takes on an increasingly reckless Xavier, with the winner promised a shot at the National Title at Philly Heatwave
• I really need to get over my presumptions that Stuntman is a spot monkey who can't wrestle because yet again he delivered a cracking match
• The short nature of the match and the psychology that both of them went for it right from the bell definitely helped him, with Reckless' brutal strikes aimed at keeping the Brit grounded
• Surprisingly, Reckless took control of this one and looked to have things won with his slingshot DDT spiking Stuntman into the mat
• But after a long two count, Reckless completely lost it, his losing streak having completely zapped his confidence
• Taking too much time remonstrating with the ref, Reckless saw his Reckless Bomb countered into a rana by Stuntman, sending Xavier head first through a table conveniently positioned into the corner
• With Reckless prone, Stuntman hits one of the most impressive moves in PSW, his 720 splash, for the win

Naess: 'So Stuntman moves on to face Xavi Ferrera after another impressive performance.

Tyler: 'Great, a gymnastics contest.'

Winner - Stuntman - Grade 52 😲

 

Last month, Ernest Youngman and Venus Angeletti celebrated the former winning the PSW Title. Fast forward to now, there's clearly some friction in the air.

Ernest Youngman: 'Are you proud of me? I won a match by myself.'

Venus Angeletti: 'Really? In a company full of children, sexists, misogynists and freaks, I thought you were actually an adult I could work with. I made that decision last week because I'm your manager, the manager of champions, and I have your best interests at heart.'

Youngman: 'Spare it, you're here because I'm the best in the world at what I do. And tonight I make that fact, by putting down Callum for good. You know what, why don't you go home tonight, take the night off. I can outwrestle Nelson any day of the week and tonight's no difference.'

Angeletti: 'Don't do this Ernest. I know you can outwrestle Nelson, but so does he. He's a lot of things but one thing he isn't is stupid. I don't like this, he's up to something. I know you're still pissed but don't do something you'll regret.'

Youngman: 'I got this one Venus, you deserve it, go home.'

Angeletti: 'Fine! But when you lose again and have another crisis of confidence, do not come crawling back to me, expecting to me fix things again.'

And with that, Ernest Youngman's manager has left the building.

 

From one locker room to another, we're headed to the official offices of Carl Batch Enterprises. Posters of GI Bro adorn the walls, with Batch kitted out in a new fedora and fur coat, in late July.

Carl Batch: 'Tonight's the night baby. Carl Batch Enterprises takes its rightful place at the top of PSW.'

Xavi Ferrera *coughs*

Carl Batch: 'No you right playa. Tonight's the night that Xavi Ferrera, babay, begins his ascent to the top of PSW, just like I promised you. You already covered in gold, now we're going for the big one.'

Xavi: 'I can do my part, just make sure this dawg has his day.'

Cerberus lets off a growl, staring at Xavi.

Batch: 'Don't you worry, this dog knows who its master is. Now don't you forget what we spoke about earlier.'

Xavi rolls his eyes: 'Shouldn't we be focussing on the match Batchman? And when am I going to start seeing some of this GI Bro money?'

Batch: 'It's like we said playa, you take care of business in the ring, I take care of finances. Now boys, execute this gameplan perfectly, and we'll be rolling in duckets for the rest of our lives.'

 

 

  vs 

• The Blood Soldiers have already tasted defeat to Samoan Destruction Inc., so inspired by/fear of the Skye Man, these two tried to use youthful exuberance to try and overcome the behemoths
• This works for the opening few minutes, but backfires spectacularly when Umaga and Machine catch Zomboy attempting a coffin drop on the outside and leaving him in a heap on the floor after a double powerbomb on the apron.
• Deathwish suffers a similar fate, with a leaping crossbody off the top caught by Umaga, who spikes him into the mat with a World's Strongest Slam
• Deathwish does his best to drag himself off the mat before he's locked in the Unbreakable Sleeper, and he taps

Winners - Samoan Destruction Inc - Grade 38 👎

 

With wrestlers about to draw lots for the Big Ass Brawl, two sworn enemies cross paths. 

Ash Campbell: 'What a surprise, Captain Ego can't help but stay away and deprive a young, upcoming wrestler of a chance at bettering themselves. Guys here who want a title shot have to bust their ass,, if you wanted one all you'd have to do was ask. Just because I have bigger fish to fry tonight, don't think you and I are anywhere near done old man, whatever happens here, I will end your career.'

Chris Caulfield: 'First of all junior, I was asked to be in the Big Ass Brawl, I didn't take anything for granted. Secondly, you've had two chances to win the belt this year, and you blew it both times, what makes you think you deserve another? Thirdly, get in my way tonight, your forehead's going to meet Master Splinter here. See you soon Blondie.'

 

Big Ass Brawl

Naess: 'For those of you on Wrestleworld who aren't familiar with the format of this match, allow me to explain.'

Tyler: 'I'm drifting off again.'

Naess: '20 men will enter the ring, and the only way to eliminate another man is to throw him over the top rope.'

'Now all we know the order is set for Sayeed Ali will begin at number 1 at his own request.'

Tyler: 'What an idiot'

Naess: 'And Cerberus will enter last having won the previous battle royale at Homecoming.'

Braun: 'Enough explanations. There are no more rules. The FIGHT STARTS NOW.'

 

(more cracking work from @GreatreDRagon)

• Naess: 'Sayeed Ali enters the ring and he's looking for a fight.'
• Braun: 'Number two is a bad slot in general. With that man across the ring, I'd be thinking about eliminating myself.'
• Tyler: 'Well done boys we've padded 60 empty seconds with Ali in the ring on his own.'

 (w) 

• Austin Smooth takes as long as he possibly can to enter the ring, looking like he's already wet his pants
• But Sayeed's clearly in the mood for a fight, and beckons both of them into the ring.
• 'Get him Bolty', and Bolt charges at Sayeed with a Big Boot
• Now Bolty's never been a spring chicken, and his boot appeared to go towards Ali's face in slow motion
• One step to the side from Ali was followed by a headbutt, busting Bolty's nose
• Ali then swats Austin to the side and impressively hoists up a limp Bolty and hurls him over the ropes
• The OG of PSW lets out a guttural roar and sets himself for Austin, who he spots clinging on to the bottom rope

Tyler: 'Smart kid, he can't throw over from there.'

• By the time Ali hip-tosses Austin across the ring, the buzzer goes for our next entry.

 (w)  & 

• Like Austin before him, the Skye Man's brought back, and his two family members launch themselves at Sayeed Ali, scratching, biting, gnawing
• Unlike Bolt, these two along with the Skye Man, manage to get Ali on to his knees, and Lester applies the spike to Ali's head
• Directing traffic, the Skye man instructs the disciples to prop Ali up, with either man holding on to his arms at each side
• Skye Man bounces off the ropes and.... Ali breaks free ducking under whatever Skye Man had planned and........ LOW BRIDGE, Austin Smooth eliminates Skye Man
• Deuce and Lester quickly leave the ring to go to their leader's aid while the buzzer sounds, with Skye Man pointing at Austin Smooth as he leaves the arena

Tyler: 'About time a proper wrestler entered the ring.'

• Sayeed swings at the masked man as soon as he enters the ring, and gets a face full of mist!
• With Ali down on the mat, Austin and Acid trade strikes, with the masked man taking the advantage
• Handspring back elbow! Leg sweep takes Austin down
• Acid returns to Ali, nailing him with corner kicks until the OG powers out with Acid on his shoulders, GBH Driver!
• Austin's climbing to his feet... GBH Driver for him as well. 
• With blood and mist on his face, Ali snarls and beckons the next entrant into the ring

• Woah we've got a fight on our hands!
• Diaz springs into the ring and exchanges blows with Ali
• With mist in his eyes and suffering from blood loss, it isn't long until Ali's driven onto the backfoot and.... Yakuza Kick!
• With Acid still reeling, Diaz notices out of the corner of his eye Austin Smooth clinging on to the bottom rope
• Diaz drags Smooth out by his hair and then into a gorilla press position

Braun: 'Oh s***, guys look out!'

• Austin is launched from the ring, through the announcers' table, and out of the match
• As Diaz smirks and turns around, Acid is up and taking leg kicks, trying to chop down the big man, throat thrust!
• Acid goes for a Code Red but he's caught, and on Diaz's shoulder when the buzzer sounds for the next entry

Tyler: 'Okay, whose side is junior going to be on...'

• Eric's question is briefly answered when junior hits Diaz with a shotgun dropkick, taking down the rookie and his mentor
• And from there, II's a house on fire, lighting Sayeed's chest up with open handed chops to the chest
• Big swing from Ali misses, Poison rana!
• Asian thump spike misses, poison rana to Diaz!
• The two Acids stare each other down.... and both start throwing fists at the other until the buzzer goes

 (w) Master Splinter

Tyler: 'Caulfield's going to be even less popular than usual!'

• Caulfield may be entering a ring filled with enemies, but Master Splinter always has his back
• Splinter shots to Diaz and Ali keep them at bay
• Splinter shot to the head of Acid, he's definitely felt that one before
• Splinter shot drops two! Caulfield gives his signature taunt before he's smacked over the head with a pool ball!
• Ali's delved into his bag of tricks to turn the tide and spots a prone Acid on the ropes, clotheslining him for the elimination
• Sayeed and Diaz resume their tussle as the buzzer sounds again

• Art Reed's seen a lot in his career, enough to help him neutralise two heavyweights
• Reed manages to tie Diaz up in so many knots that he finds his hands stuck between his legs
• Sayeed doesn't see the funny side though and gets Reed on his shoulders for the GBH Driver, Art reverses into the Tarantula
• Being on the outside of the rope, Art tries to re-enter when he's stopped by Caulfield, rope assisted Danger Drop!
• With Caulfield, Diaz and Sayeed bunched in the middle of the ring, Acid II goes up top and, sky twister press
• All five men are lying on the canvas as the buzzer sounds for the next entry

Braun: 'Is this ring insured in case it breaks?'

• The huge Cavanagh steps over the ropes and surveys the scene, quickly swatting Reed aside and sending him over the top rope for the elimination
• Caulfield tries to catch the big man unawares and swings Master Splinter at him, only for Cavanagh to launch his own punch and break it in two!

Tyler: 'I've waited 30 years for somebody to do that.'

• With Caulfield in a state of shock, Cavanagh bounces off the ropes and nails him with a pump kick
• Diaz and Ali decide to put rivalries aside to remove the big man, and hook him in for a double suplex, but Cavanagh reverses
• Acid II tries a springboard body press only for Cavanagh to stand still, leaving II to bounce off him like a wall
• Fortunately for the rest of the competitors, the buzzer sounds to potentially bring in someone to help them...

• It's almost as if someone plotted this draw! Jake Idol, the man who previously spat in Cavanagh's face enters the ring
• And Idol's entrance is like a red rag to a bull, with the hot-headed Cavanagh losing his cool
• Idol doesn't get very far before he's cornered by Cav and rather than stand and fight, he leaps over the top rope and flees the arena
• Leaning over the ropes, Cavanagh doesn't realise the rest of the combatants have regrouped, with Acid II and Caulfield grabbing his tree trunk legs, Asian Thumb Spike from Diaz leaves him reeling
• With Cavanagh teetering, the four manage to hoist him up, but Cavanagh's fighting free
• The one free man, Sayeed Ali steams in to shoulder barge and push him up over the top rope!

• The commotion in the ring meant that The King managed to sneak in without anyone noticing, Backfist to Caulfield
• As Ali and Diaz resume using each other as punching bags, The King separates to take on Acid II
• But he's surprised by the precision strikes of II, who leaves him dazed and confused on the mat
• II has King where he wants him and drags him towards the ropes... Low blow!

Naess: 'I'd expect nothing less from this guy.'

• With II leaning precariously on the ropes, Diaz seizes his opening and clotheslines him out of the ring

Tyler: 'The winner's here, go get em Ash!'

• The crowd recognises we're at the business end now and raises the roof as Ash Campbell enters the ring, armed with a chair
• And the first thing he does it to try and clear a path to Caulfield. Chair shot to The King! Chair shot to Sayeed! The chair bends from the impact as it's wrapped around Diaz's back
• Now Ash circles Caulfield with the chair in hand, as Caulfield begs him to hit him
• But Caulfield's attention seems to be on something else, and as Ash wonders what's distracting him, Caulfield drags him to one side, Asian Thumb Spike! 
• Caulfield took the brunt of the vicious move and saved Ash at the last minute
• As Ash sits in the corner in a state of shock, Diaz drags a spluttering Caulfield to the ropes and dumps him outside to eliminate him
• The elimination seems to bring Ash back to us, and he quickly slams the chair over the back of Diaz to bring him down to the mat

Naess: 'Guys, does it seem like too long since the last entry.'

Braun: 'As a matter of fact, yes it does, we haven't gone through all the entries yet so what's happening?'

Tyler: 'How did you idiots not see what was going on?'

• Also not spotting what was going on is The King, busy ogling some creeped-out women in the front row

Naess: 'When did he get here?'

Braun: 'He's in camouflage Mitch!'

• As soon as The King turns around he nearly gets his teeth knocked out by a European uppercut!
• The Silencer then drags him up by his pants and launches him out of the ring
• Ash and Sayeed trade shots as the buzzer goes off to signal the next entry

Naess: 'We're getting deep into the tournament now guys, maybe Teddy Powell could win this thing.'

Tyler: 'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

• Powell tries to enter with some authority, and it's motion censors for everybody
• Teddy's managed to drop everyone inside the square circle and the crowd's loving it!
• Even Teddy looks surprised as he turns around to greet the next entry

• The big Amish man Jebediah is the next to enter and kindly shares his huge right hand with everyone in the ring
• Jebs then trades rights with The Silencer, as the two fresh big lads go at it
• Almost seeing this as an affront to their own work, Sayeed and Diaz split up, going after The Silencer and Jebediah individually
• And it doesn't take long until both the army man and the Amish man are eliminated

• Johnny Cash's dulcet tones fill the arena as Cowboy Buck Winchester enters the ring
• Like many before him, the Cowboy goes on the attack, flattening Powell with the lariat
• Ash is next, lariat sends him flying
• Noticing Sayeed and Diaz's battle on the other side, Buck clearly has an idea
• Lassoo around Diaz's ankles stops the big man in his tracks, freeing up Sayeed to clock him with a headbutt and send him down to the mat
• Sayeed and Buck both move into position to bring Diaz onto his feet when the buzzer sounds

• Logan charges into the ring, and Belly to Bellys Buck out of his Cowboy boots
• He then swiftly moves in behind Ali and Germans him, dumping him on his head
• There's a tense staredown between Logan and Diaz, the warring cousins.... Before they embrace! The pair laughing it off

Naess: 'Oh come on!'

• Diaz moves to pick up Buck while Logan runs the ropes and clotheslines him over for the elimination
• The two jackals then circle Sayeed Ali, who's still in the ring despite entering at number one
• The pair look to be going in for the kill when the buzzer sounds for the next entry

Naess: 'Jordan may well have hit the Jackpot with this entry position'

Tyler: 'Have you seen who's in the ring you idiot.'

• The last time Jordan saw these two in the ring, he was being kicked out of the Steel Circle
• Yet despite this, Jordan tries to act like their friend, offering a fist bump to each.
• Logan just stares him down though, and orders Jordan out of the ring
• Incredibly, Jordan agrees and climbs over the top rope to eliminate himself

Braun: 'Rich and Famous are a disgrace.'

• After seeing off the challenge of Jackpot Jordan, the Diaz cousins return their attentions to Sayeed Ali
• Chair Shot! Chair Shot! Ash Campbell is still in this contest, as the buzzer sounds for the penultimate entry

• A fresh Xavi Ferrera is a ball of energy, first flattening Ash with a springboard forearm
• Powell's next, a dragon whip nearly takes his head off as Xavi moves through the field
• Thumb Spike! Xavi cartwheels out of the way. Pele Kick floors Diaz
• Logan's on him though, overhead belly-to-belly! But Xavi lands on his feet
• The pair jockey for position and German from Logan! Xavi lands on his feet again! Leaping side kick to the seated Logan!

Naess: 'Batch must be celebrating in the back, he's got two guys in the last seven, and they're both fresh'

• The chain flies everywhere as Cerberus subdues the remaining men in the ring
• Ash bravely tries to take him on but is met with a chain wrapped fist to the head, busting him wide open
• As Cerberus pulls him up by the hair, he's stopped by Xavi, who screams 'remember what the Batchman said'.
• So Cerberus instead holds Ash down in the middle of the ring, while Xavi climbs to the top rope
• Yet Xavi doesn't dive, instead, he yells at Cerberus that he's got Ash's position wrong.
• Xavi: 'That's not the right spot stupid dog. You're nothing but a stupid b****!'
• Normally stoic in the face of criticism, Cerberus has snapped and marches over to Xavi while he stands on the top rope
• Ferrera pleads with him but it's no good, and Cerberus shoves him off the turnbuckle eliminating him!
• Seconds later, Sayeed then elevates Cerberus out of the ring

Braun: 'I doubt that was what Batch had in mind.'

• Logan and Diaz don't wait for a second invitation and go straight for the rest of the competition
• Ash manages to thumb Logan in the eye to avoid the belly-to-belly, only to be flatted by a Yakuza kick
• Ali fancies his chances, until Logan throws him up in the air with an exploder
• It's just Powell left now and Motion Censor to Diaz! Motion censor to Wolfsbaine! The crowd is on their feet
• Powell feels like he's back in the naughties, another motion censor to Diaz! Oh dear he's caught it
• Powell realises he's in trouble but there's nothing he can do about it, Thumb Spike!
• Wolfsbaine picks up Powell and sends him over the top. We're down to our final four

• Realising the odds are against him, Sayeed quickly arms himself with his trusty pool ball and leaves welts all across the Diaz cousins' backs
• Try as he might, the numbers game is just too much for Sayeed, as Logan and James take turns in suplexing him onto the mat
• It's Logan who's clearly in charge and decides enough is enough and tells James to drag him to the ropes
• Just as Sayeed is lifted past the second rope... Ash intercepts!
• Campbell takes down an exhausted Diaz with the Ash to Ashes and then takes the fight to Logan
• Ash is clearly having the better of it, raking Logan's face across the top rope, but Logan's focused and only needs one opening, Belly to Belly launches Ash through the air!
• With Logan having taken quite a beating, he orders Diaz to dispense with Ash
• As we've already seen, Diaz is freakishly strong and moves Ash into a gorilla press position to throw him to the outside
• Diaz moves Ash over the top rope and drops him. But Ash hangs on and both men go tumbling over the top rope
• Logan's furious, and turns around to see Ali swinging the pool ball in circles
• Ali wails on Logan until he can no longer stand. Timberlands TO THE FACE
• Face covered in blood and mist, Ali is still standing and has Logan where he wants him, up on his shoulders, over he goes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Sorry, I love false finishes. Logan clings on to the top rope and manages to land on the apron
• Sayeed now looking for the finish, looks to ram Logan's head into the turnbuckle, but Logan reverses, opening up Sayeed's cut even more
• Wolfsbaine drags Sayeed over the ropes and both men are on the apron exchanging fists
• Lefts, rights, lefts, rights, Logan has Sayeed locked..... Half and half suplex on the apron! Both men fall to the mat....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Winner - Logan Wolfsbaine - Grade 57

 

*OOC, this battle royale took me bloody ages and made my head hurt so I'm going to take a day before posting the main event. Apologies. I hope you're enjoying it so far and thanks so much for reading.

[MidKnightDreary]

Absolutely fantastic, match of the month already locked in. RIP Ali, you did your best. Star making performance for him. I laughed hard at "he's in camouflage!"

[619]

Wow, you went all out on the Big Ass Brawl. It was impossible not to root for Ali at the end, which means it was a very effective finish to put him over so hard but still just miss out. Eric Tyler has been on fire on commentary on this show too, with the "wake me up after the bad matches" bit the punchiest/funniest line of all. The Youngman-Angeletti dynamic is also really intriguing.

[jcarmjn]

 

Mitch Naess: 'I hope everyone's got their breathe back because it's main event time!'

Eric Tyler: 'If Ash spent less time trying to be a hero, he'd have a PSW title shot right now

Alex Braun: 'Hmmm, trouble in paradise Eric?'

Tyler: 'Hmmm, isn't your protege Tank Bradley?'

Naess: 'Can it you two. Up next, the final chapter in the long saga of Ernest Youngman v Nelson Callum

 

 vs

• These two know every single move in each other's playbook, so Nelson Callum rushes Ernest at the start, driving him into the turnbuckle with his shoulder
• A quick snapmare takes Youngman down, and Nelson keeps him grounded with a chinlock
• The match continues this way for several minutes, with Nelson using his superior strength and bulk to try and wear Youngman down
• But Ernest knows a counter for every move, slipping out in a hammerlock and almost transitioning into a kimura before Callum gets to the ropes
• Ernest looks to quicken the pace and bounces off the ropes, where he's met with a dropkick!
• Moving in to plan B, Nelson finds a bag of toys at ringside...

Braun: 'Smart from Callum, play your own game, not Youngman's

• Nelson sets up a table in the middle of the ring, and locks Ernest in position for a suplex
• However Ernest manages to land on his knees. and applies a dragon sleeper, using the table for extra torque
• Callum manages to escape to the outside, where Ernest looks to flatten him with a suicide dive... chair thrown at Ernest's skull!
• Not content with just a dropkick, Nelson looks to go one better, and heads to the top rope
• But his unfamiliarity with high flying comes back to hurt him, as he wobbles his way to the top, taking key seconds
• Quick as a flash, Ernest is up there to meet him, with Callum facing outside the ring
• Avalanche dragon suplex through the table!!!!!
• With Nelson outside the ring again, Ernest bounces off the ropes twice and... suicide dive - Nelson forced over the guardrail
• Youngman then tries to bring Callum back in with a suplex, but this time it's Nelson who reverses, and drops Ernest ribs first on the guardrail
• Nelson now has the devil in his eyes and knows he needs to press his advantage, so a safety mat at ringside is removed and.. release suplex drops Ernest from a height ontp the cold hard floor
• Pressing his advantage, Callum brings Ernest up to the apron, which you may have heard is the hardest part of the ring, and.... Honey Trap on the apron!
• The former champ is clearly willing to sacrifice his own body to get his belt back, and that's why the tacks have come out to play
• Callum hooks up Ernest looking for another Honey Trap, but Ernest fights it throwing hooks to the stomach, then manages to get separation and..... THE HIT - Nelson falls back first onto the tacks

1

2

 

 

 

 

 

Nelson kicks out at the last second

• Nelson crawls out of the tacks and straight into a German Suplex! 1, 2, 3, German into the corner sends Nelson head first into the turnbuckle
• Callum's barely recovered when he's dropped in a bridging German Suplex

1

2

No

• Callum kicks out but the end looks near as Ernest positions him for a powerbomb, but is backdropped onto the tacks!
• Nelson steadies himself and... Honey Trap, Nelson keeps Ernest locked in and lifts him up.... but gets dragged down to the mat by Ernest. OMOPLATA!!!!

Nelson struggles

Nelson struggles

Nelson tries to stand

NELSON TAPS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• And the referee would have called for the bell if these two assholes hadn't dragged him out of the ring and knocked him out

• Ernest realises what's happening and chuckles, as Rich & Famous approach the ring from opposite sides
• But Ernest won't let them make the first move, and tackles Jordan, throwing fists to his grounded opponent.
• Idol charges him, German suplex. GUN SIGN. Ernest bounces off the ropes and BAM
• The champ is on his knees, coughing up blood, while Nelson readjusts the brass knuckles on his fist
• After being ordered to finish him, Idol positions Ernest in a Razor's Edge, and spins him around instead of dropping him
• Idol then releases.............. LOADED UPPERCUT FROM NELSON STRAIGHT TO ERNEST'S CHIN - and a new referee has magically reappeared

1

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winner and new PSW champion - Nelson Callum - Grade 68

 

Empty beer cans, food wrappers and whatever the crowd can lay their hands on showers the victorious trio, who bask in the boos as the show ends.

 

Show Grade 64

[AboardTheArk]

Oh, son of a...

 

great show, worth all the high effort.

[619]

Wow, you weren't kidding about enjoying writing false finishes, and the submission one in particular was brilliant (both the idea and how you styled it). The Logan win in the semi-main and the fact Callum hadn't long dropped the title had me expecting a retention, but of course the real foreshadowing was not having Venus in Ernest's corner, and that made this the most interesting outcome to run with.

[jcarmjn]

23 hours ago, MidKnightDreary said:

Absolutely fantastic, match of the month already locked in. RIP Ali, you did your best. Star making performance for him. I laughed hard at "he's in camouflage!"

Wow, high praise indeed, thank you very much. With it being a battle royale, I had to throw some Wrestlecrap in there.

 

14 hours ago, AboardTheArk said:

Oh, son of a...

 

great show, worth all the high effort.

Haha I did chuckle when you pretty much predicted this finish for Homecoming. That was my plan when I started this diary but I didn't want Ernest's redemption arc to finish without a payoff, so I moved plans back a month.

 

19 hours ago, 619 said:

Wow, you went all out on the Big Ass Brawl. It was impossible not to root for Ali at the end, which means it was a very effective finish to put him over so hard but still just miss out. Eric Tyler has been on fire on commentary on this show too, with the "wake me up after the bad matches" bit the punchiest/funniest line of all. The Youngman-Angeletti dynamic is also really intriguing.

 

13 hours ago, 619 said:

Wow, you weren't kidding about enjoying writing false finishes, and the submission one in particular was brilliant (both the idea and how you styled it). The Logan win in the semi-main and the fact Callum hadn't long dropped the title had me expecting a retention, but of course the real foreshadowing was not having Venus in Ernest's corner, and that made this the most interesting outcome to run with.

Thanks mate, I always enjoy your analysis of the event and booking decisions. Eric Tyler gives me an outlet for my self-loathing so expect him to feature heavily.

 

Prediction scores

James Diaz eliminated the most competitors, as correctly predicted by Azzak, and Caulfield and Cavanagh both thought they should have won it, as correctly predicted by Aboard the Ark.

@azzak 6

@AboardTheArk 5

@GreatreDRagon 5

@MidKnightDreary 3

 

Prize will be dmd shortly

 

[azzak]

3 hours ago, jcarmjn said:

Prediction scores

James Diaz eliminated the most competitors, as correctly predicted by Azzak, and Caulfield and Cavanagh both thought they should have won it, as correctly predicted by Aboard the Ark.

@azzak 6

@AboardTheArk 5

@GreatreDRagon 5

@MidKnightDreary 3

 

Prize will be dmd shortly

 

What a way to make my prediction debut! 

Loved the battle royal, some star making performances there. Many undercard feuds being built up too which is nice to see; Skye Man vs Austin Smooth has really piqued my interest moving forward. Ferrera and Cerberus breaking up Batch's faction so soon was a (pleasant) surprise! The Acid vs Acid II tease has me wanting that passing of the torch feud - now that Stuntman has proven his worth to you, will he get involved again? The Campbell/Caulfield story took a left field arc that we didn't know we needed - now I am all for Chris Caulfield being the mentor to the Heir Of Hardcore and giving him the guidance his father no longer can. Where that leaves the undeniable star of this diary in Eric Tyler is also very intriguing. Though I'd be more than happy with him becoming 'just' a commentator, his (your) words are gold!

Then we come to the main event. Where to start?! I thought a Nelson heel turn was coming - "Pittsburgh peeps" just felt like too much of a condescending heel phrase for the top babyface to be using - but I had no idea it would be here and now. I was fully expecting it to be a confidence of crisis leading to embracing the dark side type story following a loss to Youngman, but clearly he and Rich & Famous had other ideas! If his shock win has taught us anything, it's to expect the unexpected and not count out very quick title changes. I really like the idea of him, Idol and Jordan as a trio, that stable has arrogance written all over it. 

Very excited to see where all this goes!

[jcarmjn]

*UPDATE*

Really sorry about the lack of updates on this guys, I’ve had my nose in a few things while trying to book the next cluster of shows, which are full of storylines, twists, turns and debuts.

The good news is I’m nearly done, and the next Hardcore on Tour should be up Monday latest.

As a preview, here’s the opening segment from that show...

 

 

 

Mitch Naess: ‘I really don’t know what to say here guys. On his way to the ring is Nelson Callum with his new buddies. I thought I knew this guy and he was my friend, I guess was wrong.’

Eric Tyler: ‘Well I know what to say. I told you so!’

Alex Braun: ‘Both of you shut up. Let’s hear him out’

Callum stands in the middle of the ring, flanked on either side by Rich & Famous.

Callum: ‘Pittsburgh peeps, show the champ some love!’ The PSW faithful try their best to boo him out of the ring while Callum lets out a loud laugh.

Callum: ‘You know, there’s a time when that would have hurt me deeply. Just like 12 years ago, when a young boy named Nelson rocked up in PSW looking to make a name for himself. I would have given anything for your cheers, but instead, I got crickets, you didn’t even care enough to boo me. For anyone who wasn’t here at the time, watch a Blood Soldiers v Dogs of War match.’

Tyler: ‘Ahahaha, I’m starting to like this kid.’

Callum: ‘So what did I do? I busted my ass off, week after week, taking chair shot after chair shot, just for your adulation. When I wasn’t falling on thumbtacks I was in the gym, working to make myself better, and slowly but surely, you noticed me, and so did the wrestling world.’

‘But any offers, I turned them down, unlike your mom fat boy, shut your mouth, the champ’s talking.

‘I sacrificed my body, my health, put my looks on the line, I sat on this mat when hundreds of girls could have been sat on my face, for you. Because I thought you loved me, and I thought this was my home, finally, I’d found a home.

‘Greg Black, Grandmaster Phunk, I didn’t just match them, I passed them with ease. Boo all you want but you know I’m right.

‘After I established this (lifts the PSW belt aloft) as one of THE championships to fight for in America, after I put on the match of the year with Youngman, after all these things, all these years, how do you thank me?!?’

Putting on the weediest voice you’ve ever heard: ‘You deserve it.’

‘A guy who shits on you at every opportunity, a guy who wrestles for acclaim in the dirt sheets not to entertain, you flock to him, and forget all about me. FICKLE FAT B*******.

‘After that night, I continued to get calls, and know what, this time I answered them.

‘Big Al wanted to put my face on prime time tv, good old Sammy Bach asked what took me so long, I asked Jorge Ibanez donde esta los senioritas?’

‘Then I recognised a number, from a JE in my contacts, and I told good Ole Jerr Bear I accept.’

The crowd is stunned into silence with the shock news.

Callum: ‘And you’d like this to be it wouldn’t you? You’d like me to leave, have a little tournament, and then crown your new hero. But I’m a hot property, and I make my own demands.

‘So Jezza and I agreed, I’ll make my way up north, but only when I’ve burned this house, the house that I’ve built, the last house on hardcore hill, to the ground. And this belt I made mean something, Old Easy E promised me I can p*** on it live on air.

‘Planning all this out in the gym with the biggest family in wrestling, I met two people like myself, the best in their class who you people shat on, and they agreed to help.’

Nelson hands the mic over to an even cockier than usual Jackpot Jordan.

Jordan: ‘We’ve been the best team in the indies for the best part of 15 years, but we don’t get shit from you people. As soon as the latest team that hit 5 Canadian destroyers to start a match comes along, you forget all about Rich & Famous. Like Nelson, we’ve had enough, before we head off to the land of Supreme, we declare war on any tag team on the independent circuit. We are better than you and we are done being a joke.

Jake Idol: ‘People like you hate people like us. We’re good-looking, successful, ripped, and a hit with the ladies. You can’t even make your own character like that on Baldur’s Gate.’

Callum: ‘Right, I think that’s more than enough time wasted on the likes of you, just know this. Just know this, myself, Jackpot, Idol, we are…..

TEAM SUPREME

[619]

Welcome back. Now that's how you write a heel turn promo. Very timely Canadian Destroyer line towards the end too.

[azzak]

That was well worth the wait - I am all for Nelson Callum channelling his inner MJF!

[jcarmjn]

Gutted to be officially ending this. I had booked a few months in advance and had further plans but I've had to reinstall everything due to my computer going down. Just wanted to say a massive thank you to anyone who read, like or commented on this diary. Like a lot of people in this day and age, I suffer from depression and low self-esteem so reading all your positive comments was a massive boost. I'm enjoying playing USPW in 2013 and the completely different challenges it brings so I may turn this into a diary depending on how much time I get, we'll see!

[jcarmjn]

Oh and special thanks to @GreatreDRagon for the cracking pictures

[AboardTheArk]

Thanks for a kickass diary. Excited to see what you return with whenever you're comfortable.