Jason Phoenix Posted August 20 Share Posted August 20 The Grand Poobah revealing itself to actually be a drag queen named Sassy Mama, isn't what I was expecting but it's glorious and fits perfectly 😂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 (edited) Here We Go Again... (aka The second part of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic World Title Tournament gets a bizarre unveiling) In contrast to the card unveiling for our first show, I let the AI run wild with this. I encouraged it to go wherever the hell it wanted this time, telling it to surprise me. I wanted to see what mad s*** it would come up with if I let go of the handbrake. How would the AI promote a wrestling show if you let it have it's own way? Will this usher in a whole new groundbreaking era for the marketing of this zany sport? Let’s just say the AI clearly had a lot of fun... Live on ATL's Peachtree Atlanta TV: Jimi Venezuela Unveils KAPW's Next Mad Chapter The anticipation was palpable as Jimi Venezuela prepared for his latest promotional stunt to hype the semi-finals of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic. This time, he had somehow managed to secure a paid segment on Peachtree TV Atlanta, an independent TV station well-known in the local scene. The crowd at the Clermont Lounge was ready for the chaos that was sure to unfold, but this time, the spectacle was going to be broadcast live, via a paid-for TV slot, to a wider audience. Peachtree TV has been a staple in Atlanta, providing a mix of syndicated programming, local news, and a platform for community events. This time, it was hosting the unpredictable Jimi Venezuela. The segment was set to feature him and some of Peachtree TV's on-air personalities, including Ben Reed, the charismatic host of the morning show, and Sally McIntyre, the station’s beloved weather reporter. Both were local celebrities with deep ties to the community, making them perfect for Jimi’s outrageous antics. The segment opened with the camera panning over the makeshift stage inside the Clermont Lounge. A giant dunk tank filled with neon green slime was the centerpiece, flanked by Jimi in his signature loud Hawaiian shirt. He took a swig from his flask and greeted the viewers with a mischievous grin. "Hello, Atlanta! It’s your favorite wrestling promoter, Jimi Venezuela, here to hype the semi-finals of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic! We're going big time, baby, and what better way to celebrate than with a slime dunk contest? But first, let's talk about these matches!" AR Fox vs. Dani Jordyn vs. Priscilla Kelly "Our first semi-final is a triple threat match featuring AR Fox, Dani Jordyn, and Priscilla Kelly. AR Fox is a high-flying daredevil who's always a crowd favorite. Dani Jordyn, the 'Real Mean Girl,' brings sass and strategy to the ring. And Priscilla Kelly, the unpredictable wildcard, is sure to shake things up. It’s going to be a spectacle of speed, strategy, and sheer chaos!" Fred Yehi vs. Joe Black vs. AC Mack "Next, we’ve got Fred Yehi, the submission master, taking on Joe Black, the powerhouse, and AC Mack, the brash and cocky competitor. Yehi's technical prowess, Black's brute force, and Mack’s street-smart tactics will clash in an explosive showdown. You don't want to miss it!" Jimi paused, letting the excitement build. The camera then cut to Ben Reed and Sally McIntyre, sitting nervously on platforms above the slime tanks. "Now, let's get to the fun part. For every wrestling trivia question you get right, you get to dunk one of these lovely folks into the slime! Let’s start with our first contestant!" A fan stepped up, brimming with confidence. Jimi grinned and asked, "Alright, here’s your question: What year did AR Fox make his wrestling debut?" “2007!” Yelled the fan almost hyperactively. The fan answered correctly, and with a dramatic pull of the lever, Ben Reed was sent plunging into the slime, much to the delight of the crowd and viewers. "That's what I call a slam dunk!" Jimi quipped, the camera capturing Ben Reed emerging from the slime, laughing despite himself. "Next question! Who did Fred Yehi defeat in his first major title win?" Another fan stepped up, correctly answering "Matt Riddle." Sally McIntyre, despite her best efforts to keep her composure, was next to take the plunge into the gooey abyss. The crowd roared with laughter as Sally spluttered, wiping slime from her eyes and grinning sheepishly. "Don't worry, Sally, it's good for the skin!" Jimi laughed, his infectious energy keeping the crowd hyped. "Alright, who's next? This one's for the really big splash! What move is AR Fox known for?" A third fan eagerly stepped forward, shouting, "Lo Mein Pain!" The crowd cheered as the lever was pulled, and this time both Ben and Sally were dunked simultaneously, sending a wave of slime splashing out of the tank and onto the nearby audience. The fans were in hysterics, the outrageous stunt proving to be a hit. "Now that's what I call making a splash on TV!" Jimi shouted, barely able to contain his laughter. Just then, the crowd began to chant, "Jimi! Jimi! Jimi!" It was clear what they wanted. Jimi shook his head, trying to back out, but the fans were relentless. "Alright, alright, you maniacs! I guess it’s my turn," he conceded with a chuckle. He handed the flask to a fan and climbed onto the platform, still grinning. "Who wants to dunk me?" Jimi called out. The crowd erupted, and a young fan was selected to ask the final trivia question. "Who did Fred Yehi have his first major feud with?" The fan confidently answered, "AR Fox!" The lever was pulled, and Jimi plunged into the slime, emerging covered head to toe in neon green goo. The crowd went wild, laughing and cheering. Jimi, ever the showman, grabbed the microphone and continued promoting, slime and all. "Don't forget, folks, the semi-finals are next week at the Clermont Lounge. Be there or be square – and remember, send in your predictions! Let's make history together!" As the segment wrapped up, Jimi, dripping with slime, took one last swig from his flask and gave the camera a wink. The viewers were left both entertained and eagerly anticipating the next chapter in the KAPW saga. The question of how Jimi was funding all this remained a mystery, but one thing was certain: KAPW was going big time, and Atlanta was along for the wild ride. Predictions Time (You've all seen this sort of thing before. You know what to do.) To the wonderful readers who have come along this far, the Grand Poobah AI and I invite you to pick the winners of our two momentous semi finals: AR Fox vs. Dani Jordyn vs. Priscilla Kelly Fred Yehi vs. Joe Black vs. AC Mack Edited August 21 by dstephe4 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DinoKea Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 PREDICTIONS AR Fox def. Dani Jordyn & Priscilla Kelly Fred Yehi def. Joe Black & AC Mack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Phoenix Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 AR Fox Joe Black (I feel it's more likely to be Yehi given their history being outlined, but I'm sticking by Black) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyTeran Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 AR Fox vs. Dani Jordyn vs. Priscilla Kelly Fred Yehi vs. Joe Black vs. AC Mack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigelow Cartwheel Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 There's unique and then there's this craziness. Well done, this is special. Loving the humour and the effort you've gone to with the AI. I've done quite a bit of skimming but a lot stood out. Keep this going, you've got a real original on your hands. Favourite line: "Mike Posey looks like some kind of AI generated creature, but oddly enough, isn't." 😆😆 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted August 28 Author Share Posted August 28 (edited) The KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic Tournament (Part Two, 142 In Attendance) The dim lights of the Clermont Lounge flicker, and the room fills with a haze of excitement and the scent of anticipation. Suddenly, the song which would come to be known as the unofficial anthem of KAPW – ‘Margarita MOFO’ by the legendary rock supergroup Whiskey River Backdraft - starts to play through the speakers, and the crowd erupts. The door swings open, and in struts Jimi Venezuela, looking like he just rolled out of a beach hammock in his loud, slightly wrinkled Hawaiian shirt. Jimi makes his way to the ring, but not before stopping at the front row to share a drink with some of the regulars. He raises his margarita glass in a toast to the loyal KAPW fans, a wide grin plastered on his face. The crowd is eating it up, cheering and clinking their drinks in return. Blondie is already in the ring, microphone in hand, trying to keep a straight face but clearly enjoying the chaos. Jimi hops into the ring, taking a moment to bask in the adoration of the fans. He grabs the mic from Blondie, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “Welcome to the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic! We’re going big time, baby, and I promise you, tonight’s going to be wilder than a beach party at sunset!” The crowd roars in approval. He continues, “Tonight, we have the semi-finals of our tournament, and it’s going to be nothing short of legendary. First up, a Triple Threat Match featuring AR Fox, Dani Jordyn, and Priscilla Kelly. Trust me, you do not want to miss this!” Blondie steps forward, beaming, “And that’s not all! We’ve got another Triple Threat Match: Fred Yehi, Joe Black, and AC Mack. The action is going to be intense!” Jimi adds with a wink, “Plus, you never know what kind of surprises we’ll throw at you. This is KAPW, after all. So, grab another drink, get comfy, and let’s get this party started!” As “Margarita MOFO” continues to play, Jimi raises his drink in one last toast to the crowd before handing the mic back to Blondie. The energy in the room is electric, and the fans are ready for an unforgettable night of wrestling madness. Angle rating: 30. Semi Final 1: Triple Threat Match: AR Fox vs. Dani Jordyn vs. Priscilla Kelly The lights dim, the crowd roars, and it’s time for the first semi-final match of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic! The fans are on their feet, drinks in hand, ready for the chaotic Triple Threat Match featuring AR Fox, Dani Jordyn, and Priscilla Kelly. As Whiskey River Backdraft’s “Margarita MOFO” fades out, the atmosphere is electric with excitement. AR Fox enters first, his impressive agility and high-flying style evident as he somersaults into the ring. The “Real Mean Girl” Dani Jordyn follows, complete with her infamous Burn Book, taunting the crowd and her opponents with her snarky attitude. Finally, Priscilla Kelly strides in, her unpredictable and fierce demeanor sending chills through the audience. The bell rings, and the action kicks off with Fox immediately using his speed to dodge attacks from both women. Jordyn and Kelly exchange a quick glance and, realizing that teaming up might be their best bet, they double-team Fox with a series of kicks and strikes. But alliances in Triple Threat matches are always temporary, and Kelly quickly betrays Jordyn with a surprise enzuigiri, sending her crashing to the mat. With the alliance shattered, the match descends into chaos. Fox springs off the ropes with a breathtaking springboard moonsault, landing on both women and getting a close near fall. The crowd is on the edge of their seats as Kelly retaliates with a tornado DDT on Fox, but just as she goes for the pin, Jordyn breaks it up with a perfectly timed diving elbow drop. Outside the ring, Fox’s old rival Fred Yehi has found himself a place ringside and watches intently, his presence clearly unsettling Fox. Although Yehi doesn’t interfere, his mere presence adds an extra layer of tension. Fox glances nervously at Yehi, momentarily distracted, which Kelly and Jordyn try to exploit. Jordyn locks in a vicious submission on Kelly, but Fox breaks it up with a flying leg drop, showing off his impressive versatility. Kelly, known for her unpredictable antics, pulls out a mysterious object from her tights, just as she did last week, attempting to distract Fox. But Fox is too quick, evading her trickery and hitting a spectacular dropkick that sends Kelly stumbling into the ropes. Jordyn tries to capitalize with her Burn Book maneuver, but Fox counters with a spinning heel kick, flooring her. As the match reaches its climax, the crowd is in a frenzy. Kelly attempts a high-risk move from the top rope, but Fox catches her mid-air with his signature Lo Mein Pain, a springboard Spanish Fly that leaves the audience gasping. With Kelly down, Fox turns his attention to Jordyn, who is dazed but still fighting. Fox climbs to the top rope, the crowd chanting his name, and launches into his devastating 450 splash, landing perfectly on Jordyn. The referee counts to three, and the crowd explodes as AR Fox secures his spot in the final of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic. Fred Yehi, seething with a mix of respect and rivalry, locks eyes with Fox from ringside. The tension between them is palpable, setting the stage for an explosive showdown further down the line. As Fox celebrates his hard-fought victory, the crowd knows that this is just the beginning of a truly unforgettable night at the Clermont Lounge. Match rating: 41. AR Fox stands in the middle of the ring, basking in the roaring approval of the Clermont Lounge crowd. His high-flying victory has the fans on their feet, chanting his name. But as he turns to celebrate, he catches sight of Fred Yehi at ringside, leaning against the barricade and giving him a slow, sarcastic clap. Yehi’s mocking smile infuriates Fox, who throws his hands up in frustration and storms out of the ring, ignoring the fans and making a beeline for the back. Blondie, ever the opportunist, tries to catch Fox for an interview. “AR Fox, can we get a word?” she shouts, but Fox is too steamed to notice. He storms past her, muttering under his breath about Yehi. Blondie, undeterred, turns and scans the area for another target. Her eyes land on a dejected Priscilla Kelly, who is sitting on the ring steps, catching her breath after the brutal match. “Priscilla! Priscilla Kelly! A moment of your time?” Blondie calls out, rushing over with microphone in hand. Kelly looks up, her signature smirk slightly faded, but she nods and stands to face the camera. “Priscilla, tough loss out there. How are you feeling?” Blondie asks, flashing her winning smile, though her interviewing skills leave something to be desired. Kelly sighs dramatically, flipping her hair back. “Yeah, it sucks to lose, especially in a big match like this. But, you know, that’s how it goes. You win some, you lose some. And tonight, AR Fox was just the better wrestler. But this isn’t the end for me. I’m still excited for what’s to come in KAPW. I’ve got plans, big plans.” Blondie, trying to keep the conversation going, nods eagerly. “Big plans, huh? Can you tell us more?” Kelly’s eyes twinkle with mischief. “Oh, Blondie, darling, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now, would it? Let’s just say, the Queen of Crazy is just getting started. You never know what I’ll pull out of my hat—or my tights—next.” Blondie, trying to steer the interview back on track, raises an eyebrow. “Speaking of pulling things out of your tights, what was that strange item you pulled out during the match?” Kelly’s face lights up with a bizarre sense of pride. “Oh, that? That’s my pet rock, Rocky. Isn’t he adorable?” She pulls the small, painted rock out of her tights again, holding it up for the camera like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “He brought me luck last week, got me the win. But I guess even Rocky has his off days.” Blondie stares at the rock, her mouth slightly open, completely at a loss for words. The camera zooms in on the bewildering sight of Priscilla Kelly proudly holding up her pet rock. “Uh, well, that’s... interesting. Thank you for your time, Priscilla.” The scene fades out with Blondie still staring in disbelief, as the fans at the Clermont Lounge cheer wildly for whatever craziness comes next in KAPW. Angle rating: 32. The rowdy fans at the Clermont Lounge are fired up, fueled by cheap beer and the unbridled chaos that is KAPW. The commentary team, Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott, are having a ball at ringside. Jimi Venezuela, decked out in a loud Hawaiian shirt that looks like it’s been through a couple of brawls itself, sips on his third Margarita of the night. Lenny, the seasoned voice of wrestling with a knack for making every match sound like a pay-per-view event, leans into the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen, as if tonight’s semi-finals weren’t enough, we’ve got a special treat for you! A surprise Battle Royale featuring the six competitors who aren’t in tonight’s semis. The winner of this match will be the #1 contender for the KAPW Championship!” Veda Scott, with her sharp wit and wealth of in-ring experience, adds, “That’s right, Lenny. When we crown our champion, they’ll need someone to defend the belt against, and that someone will be decided right here, right now!” Jimi, ever the hype man, jumps in, “So without further ado, let’s unveil our first competitor!” The lights dim, and the spotlight shines on the entrance. “It’s Aaron Draven!” Veda announces, as the music hits and Draven makes his way to the ring. Draven looks pumped, ready to kick some ass and make a statement. But as soon as he steps into the spotlight, the crowd turns on him, booing mercilessly for the unspeakable crime of not being from Atlanta. Draven’s excitement visibly fades, replaced by a look of frustration. Blondie, ever the trooper despite her less-than-stellar interviewing skills, rushes over with a microphone. “Aaron, how do you feel about the reception you’re getting tonight?” she asks, her cleavage providing a temporary distraction from the crowd’s hostility. Draven sighs, shaking his head. “You know, Blondie, I came here to make a mark. I’ve wrestled all over the place, but this crowd… man, they just hate me for being from Tampa. It’s crazy!” He pauses, looking out at the booing fans. “But you know what? I’m gonna change their minds. Despite the odds being stacked against me, despite being the first guy in this Battle Royale, I’m going to win this war, become the #1 contender, and show all of you what I’m made of!” The crowd’s booing intensifies, but Draven defiantly stands his ground, determined despite the haters. Blondie gives him an encouraging smile, albeit somewhat bewildered. “Well, good luck, Aaron. Let’s see if you can turn things around!” Draven nods, steeling himself for the challenge ahead. The camera pans to the ring, where the Battle Royale is about to begin. The crowd’s energy is electric, and despite the hostility, Draven’s resolve is clear. Tonight, he’s got everything to prove and nothing to lose. Match rating: 38. 6 Person Battle Royale To Crown A New #1 Contender – Aaron Draven vs. Cyrus The Destroyer vs. Kiera Hogan vs. Sugar Dunkerton vs. Baron Black vs. Alan Angels The lights in the Clermont Lounge dimmed as the fans roared with anticipation. Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott hyped up the crowd, ready for the surprise Battle Royale. The stakes were high—the last wrestler standing would become the #1 contender for the KAPW Championship. First up was Aaron Draven. He was in the ring with determination in his eyes, despite the relentless booing from the Atlanta faithful. “He’s got guts,” Veda commented. “But the crowd’s not giving him an inch.” Draven looked around, taking in the hostile environment. The boos were deafening, but he shook it off, focusing on the task at hand. Before long, the second entrant made his way to the ring—Cyrus The Destroyer. The hulking figure of Cyrus sauntered down the aisle, a smirk on his face. Cyrus wasted no time going after Draven, using his size to his advantage. He slammed Draven into the turnbuckle and delivered a series of heavy blows. Draven fought back, using his speed to dodge and counter, but the boos distracted him. Cyrus, in typical fashion, stopped mid-match to roar at some admiring fans. One fan threw a beer can into the ring, and Cyrus picked it up and chugged it. “That’s the kind of sportsmanship we encourage here at KAPW,” Lenny joked. Next up was Kiera “The Girl on Fire” Hogan. She entered the ring with fiery determination, immediately targeting Cyrus. The two Atlanta natives clashed, giving Draven a moment to catch his breath. Hogan, with her explosive speed, landed a series of kicks that staggered Cyrus. Sugar Dunkerton made his entrance next, dancing his way to the ring and hyping up the crowd with his charisma. The fans loved him, but Dunkerton’s fun and games ended quickly as Hogan hit him with a brutal backstabber. Draven, seeing an opening, launched himself at Hogan with a springboard elbow. The crowd’s boos intensified, but Draven pressed on, determined to prove himself. He delivered a flurry of high-flying moves, keeping Hogan and Dunkerton at bay. Baron Black was next. The brash, technical master entered with swagger, trash-talking and showing off as he approached the ring. Black went straight for Draven, mocking him as they exchanged blows. Despite the crowd’s hatred, Draven fought back valiantly. Alan Angels was the last entrant. His speed and agility were immediately on display as he darted around the ring, taking shots at everyone. Angels’ flashy moves earned him some cheers, a stark contrast to the relentless booing aimed at Draven. The ring was chaos, with bodies flying everywhere. Draven managed to hang on, surviving multiple elimination attempts. He even worked with Dunkerton to briefly double-team Cyrus, but their alliance was short-lived when Dunkerton tried to sneakily throw Draven out and ended up eliminating himself by accident. One by one, the competitors were eliminated. Dunkerton was the first to go. Cyrus followed soon after, courtesy of a double dropkick from Draven and Angels. Hogan’s fiery tactics almost paid off, but Black managed to toss her over the top rope. That left Draven, Black, and Angels. Draven’s endurance was on full display as he fought off both men. The commentators were amazed. “This guy is showing some serious heart,” Lenny remarked. “He’s not backing down.” Draven eliminated Black with a well-timed superkick, sending him flying over the top rope. The crowd booed louder, clearly annoyed that Draven was still standing. Angels and Draven squared off, the final two in the ring. Despite the crowd’s hostility, despite having been the first in the ring, Draven gave it everything he had. He and Angels traded blows, with Draven showing incredible resilience. “He’s got this,” Veda said. “Draven might just pull off the impossible.” The booing reached a fever pitch, clearly affecting Draven. He looked visibly frustrated but pushed through, delivering a series of high-flying moves that had the crowd gasping. He hit Angels with a springboard DDT, nearly securing the win. Just as it seemed like Draven might pull off the upset, the relentless booing finally got to him. He glanced out at the crowd, visibly shaken by their hatred. “Stay focused, Draven!” Jimi shouted from ringside, but it was too late. Angels, seizing the opportunity, delivered a low blow and tossed Draven over the top rope. The crowd erupted in mixed reactions as Angels stood tall, the unexpected winner. Draven sat on the floor outside the ring, dejected and exhausted. Lenny and Veda summed it up perfectly. “An amazing display of guts and determination by Draven,” Lenny said. “But in the end, the crowd’s hostility was too much.” Draven slowly walked backstage, head held high despite the loss. He had given it his all, but the Atlanta crowd just wouldn’t let him win. Angels celebrated in the ring, celebrating becoming the new #1 contender, knowing he had been handed a lucky break. As the fans cheered and booed, one thing was clear—KAPW was full of surprises, and tonight was no exception. Match rating: 39. Backstage at the chaotic, booze-fueled KAPW event, Barbie, in her characteristic enthusiastic style, prepared to interview Fred Yehi. The camera panned to Yehi, who stood with a confident smirk, ready to address the KAPW fans. “Fred Yehi, you’ve been on a tear lately, and you’re about to head into your semi-final match. How confident are you about your chances tonight?” Barbie asked, leaning in slightly, microphone in hand. Yehi, known for his technical prowess and relentless aggression, grinned widely. “Barbie, confidence isn’t just a state of mind for me—it’s a way of life. I’ve been dominating this ring, breaking down opponents piece by piece. Tonight is no different. I’m taking that win, no question.” Barbie then shifted the conversation to the earlier match. “We saw you ringside during AR Fox’s bout earlier. Were you trying to rattle him, maybe even make him lose?” Yehi chuckled, shaking his head. “On the contrary, Barbie. I wanted AR Fox to win. We’ve got unfinished business, and I want to settle it in the final. He thinks he’s better than me, but I’m going to prove him wrong on the biggest stage.” The camera zoomed in on Yehi’s intense eyes as he continued, “I want AR Fox at his best, so there’s no doubt left when I beat him. Our history is far from over, and next week, I’ll show everyone who the real king of KAPW is.” Barbie, sensing the intensity, nodded. “You’ve certainly made a mark here, Fred. Any final words for your fans—or your opponents—before tonight’s match?” Yehi straightened up, staring directly into the camera. “To my fans, get ready to see a masterclass in wrestling. And to my opponents, bring your A-game. Because when you step in the ring with Fred Yehi, you’re stepping into my world.” With that, Yehi confidently walked off, leaving Barbie to wrap up the segment. “Well, there you have it, folks. Fred Yehi is laser-focused and ready to take on whatever comes his way. Stay tuned, because the KAPW action is just heating up!” Angle rating: 33. Back at ringside, Jimi Venezuela was poised to enjoy yet another margarita. His Hawaiian shirt, looking like it had been through a blender, was a visual testament to his wild and carefree demeanor. Just as he lifted the frosty glass to his lips, he found himself rudely interrupted. “Hey, Jimi! We need a word!” Joe Black and AC Mack stormed over, exuding an air of frustration and swagger. Jimi looked up, a bit startled. “What gives, fellas? It’s half-price margarita night here at the Clermont. Priorities, man!” Joe Black, with his menacing presence and intense gaze, stepped closer. “You gave Fred Yehi an interview, but not us? What’s up with that, Jimi?” AC Mack, the brash, loud-mouthed, and charismatic Atlanta native, added, “Yeah, Jimi! The Mack of all Trades needs his mic time! The fans need to hear from the true voice of KAPW!” Jimi sighed, realizing there was no way out of this. “Alright, alright. We can do this. Just make it quick, my margarita is melting!” Joe Black, the powerhouse known for his brutal in-ring style, grabbed the mic. “Listen up, KAPW fans! I’m Joe Black, the man who’s going to crush anyone who stands in my way. I don’t need a fancy gimmick or flashy moves. I’ve been breaking bones and crushing dreams since day one. Tonight’s semi-final is just another step towards the KAPW Championship.” AC Mack, ever the talker, took the mic from Joe. “Hold up, hold up! Y’all already know who it is! It’s the loudest mouth in the South, the King of the Mack-tastic, AC Mack! I’m here to bring the noise, the funk, and the fury! Joe might be strong, but I’m the brains and the charisma of this operation. You think anyone can out-talk me? Out-wrestle me? You must be outta your mind!” Jimi, who was halfway through another margarita, gave a thumbs-up. “Sure thing, Mack. You’ve definitely got a way with words.” Joe Black, not one to be outdone, chimed back in. “I’ve been in the ring with legends, taken down giants, and tonight, I’m taking my place as the number one contender. AC Mack here might be loud, but can he handle the Blackout? I doubt it.” AC Mack scoffed. “Oh please, Joe. When I hit the Mack 10 (his finisher), you’ll be down for the count before you even know what hit you. And you know what? Maybe we should get Jimi in the ring for a margarita chugging contest after I win tonight. What do you say, Jimi?” Jimi, trying to keep up with the rapid-fire banter, raised his glass. “You know I’m always down for a good time, boys. But let’s focus on the semi-finals first. And remember, it’s all about giving the fans what they want. Right, folks?” The fans, clearly enjoying the unexpected chaos, cheered loudly. Joe Black and AC Mack shared a tense stare, their competitive spirit clear. AC Mack couldn’t resist one last jab. “Just remember, Joe. All the strength in the world can’t save you from the Mack Attack. See you in the ring, tough guy.” Joe Black smirked. “And you, Mack, better be ready for the storm that’s coming your way.” With that, the two wrestlers walked off, leaving Jimi to finally finish his margarita. He turned to the camera, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Only in KAPW, folks. Now, let’s get back to the action!” Angle rating: 36. Semi Final 2: Fred Yehi vs. Joe Black vs. AC Mack Welcome back to the KAPW semi-finals, where the action is hotter than Jimi Venezuela's margaritas! The crowd is buzzing as Fred Yehi, Joe Black, and AC Mack prepare to tear each other apart for a shot at the championship. Jimi is ringside with a tray of margaritas, ready for some fun. The bell rings, and AC Mack wastes no time running his mouth, taunting both Yehi and Black. His bravado gets him a swift clothesline from Joe Black, who’s in no mood for games. Yehi, the technical master, immediately targets Black's legs with a series of vicious kicks, trying to neutralize the powerhouse. Mack recovers and takes advantage of Yehi's focus on Black, nailing Yehi with a flying forearm that sends him to the mat. Mack, always the showman, basks in the boos from the crowd before hitting a high-energy dropkick on Black. The fans might not love him, but Mack feeds off their energy regardless. Jimi, not one to be ignored, sidles up to AR Fox, who arrives ringside after the match starts. "C'mon, Fox! Just one margarita! It'll loosen you up!" Fox, clearly annoyed and trying to focus on scouting Yehi, glares at Jimi. "Not now, Jimi!" Back in the ring, Yehi and Black momentarily team up to take down Mack, hitting a double suplex that rattles the ring. The unlikely alliance quickly falls apart when Yehi locks Black in a brutal crossface, simultaneously kicking Mack away as he tries to intervene. Mack rolls out of the ring, gasping for breath, while Black struggles to escape Yehi's hold. Mack, always the opportunist, slides back in with a steel chair. The ref, distracted by Jimi trying to force a margarita on Fox, misses Mack's sneaky move. Mack swings the chair, but Yehi ducks, and the chair connects with Black’s head. Black drops like a stone, and Yehi capitalizes with a series of rapid-fire German suplexes that leave Mack seeing stars. Jimi, now juggling three margaritas, nudges Fox again. "You sure, Fox? This match is wild! You gotta loosen up!" Fox, still intently focused on the action, sighs. "Jimi, I swear, if you don't back off..." The match reaches a fever pitch as Mack attempts a top rope splash on both opponents. Yehi and Black roll out of the way, and Mack crashes and burns spectacularly. Yehi seizes the moment, hitting Black with a spine-shattering backbreaker before locking Mack in the Koji Clutch. AR Fox, ringside, nods appreciatively as he takes notes on Yehi's technique. Jimi, with a final margarita offer, gets a firm "NO" from Fox, who’s laser-focused on the ring. With Black trapped in the corner and Mack unable to reach the ropes, he has no choice but to tap out. Fred Yehi stands tall, victorious and moving on to the final showdown against AR Fox. The crowd erupts in a mix of cheers and boos, the tension between Yehi and Fox palpable. As the show wraps up, Jimi grabs the mic, margarita still in hand. "What a night, folks! Make sure you bring your rowdy selves back next week for the grand finale of the KAPW tournament! And remember, it's half-price margarita night all tonight at the Clermont Lounge! Cheers!" Blondie adds with a wink, "And don't forget, all KAPW ticket holders get 10% off drinks all night at the Clermont! Let's make it a night to remember!" The fans roar in approval, already buzzing with anticipation for next week's explosive finale. Match rating: 48. Overall show rating: 43. Edited August 28 by dstephe4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted September 1 Author Share Posted September 1 (edited) Let's See How You All Did This Time... (aka Predictions Results 2: The Sequel.) There's enough beer in my blood to do KAPW stuff, so let's see how you fine people did with your predictions for the 2nd show! Let's hand it over to the Grand Poobah itself... Oh honey, gather 'round because Mama's got something to say! A big ol' thank you to all you fabulous wrestling fanatics who took the time to drop your KAPW predictions for our second show. Y'all really showed up with the fire, the passion, and let’s be honest, a few of you came in with some bold takes that only a mama could love. Now, whether you predicted AR Fox would fly circles around the competition or if you thought Fred Yehi was gonna take everyone to suplex city, one thing’s for sure—you’ve added to the spice and drama that makes KAPW the most kick-ass, eyebrow-raising, margarita-spilling, can't-miss wrestling show this side of the multiverse. So thank you, sweet peas, for pouring your wrestling hearts out and putting your reputations on the line. Keep those predictions coming because you know Mama's always here for a little friendly competition. And remember, if your picks don’t pan out, there’s always another match, another show, and another round of margaritas waiting at the Clermont Lounge. KAPW loves you, darlings, and so does your Sassy Mama! Now let’s see who did the best predictions! 💋 Yes, you lucky people. The most advanced artificial mind ever developed - the one people are losing their minds worrying will bring society to its knees - just blew you all a kiss. Anyhow, here's the scores this time around... @DinoKea - 2 points @Jason Phoenix - 1 points @KyTeran - 1 point A big thank you to all who have followed this so far. You readers rule. More amusing AI generated wonderment coming soon. Keep your eyes peeled for the card for part 3 - the Pro Wrestling Classic Grand Final - which will be posted soon! Edited Friday at 05:29 PM by dstephe4 Edited because I somehow missed DinoKea off the scores. Because I was drunk. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted September 4 Author Share Posted September 4 (edited) Sweaty, Topless And Moist (aka Here's what Jimi Venezuela and the Grand Poobah have in store this time around) For the first bout of shameless promotion to hype KAPW's debut card, I made the AI keep things pretty sensible. The result was a nice, laid back piece with a nice interview on a local jazz station. The second card unveiling was where I let our omnipotent Sassy Mama do whatever the hell her feverish mind could conjure up. This ended up being a bunch of local news dweebs getting gunged. Did you like that? Either way, I decided to steer this one somewhere in the middle. And what came out of the infernal machine was my favourite of the three... Wet. To promote the third and final show of the KAPW World Title Tournament, Jimi Venezuela orchestrated a spectacle so outrageous that it was sure to grab headlines and eyeballs alike—a charity topless car wash, with proceeds going to the Atlanta Community Food Bank, a local organization dedicated to helping those in need. The buzz around the event was palpable, drawing attention from small local TV stations like WAGA-TV and WXIA-TV, as well as the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Local reporters and news crews flocked to the event, eager to see the chaos that was sure to unfold. Jimi Venezuela, dressed in his usual loud Hawaiian shirt and fedora, stood at the entrance, grinning like the cat that got the cream. His cigar was half-chewed, and the scent of stale beer and cigars hung around him like a questionable cologne. Above: Do you have any idea who the dude on the sign is? No? Me neither. I'm also stumped as to what a 'Topemuzzbbvddeworlep Tourapnt' is too. However, by AI standards, this picture is a masterpiece, so in it went. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first-ever KAPW Charity Topless Car Wash!” Jimi shouted into his megaphone, his voice barely audible over the excited murmurs of the crowd. “For a small donation, you get your car washed by the finest wrestlers KAPW has to offer! Completely topless! And remember, it’s all for a great cause!” The line of cars stretched around the block, with eager patrons (predominantly male) anticipating a glimpse of their favorite KAPW stars in action. The buzz in the air suggested that many had shown up expecting to see Blondie and some of the female wrestlers in less attire. But Jimi had the last laugh as the wrestlers emerged—topless indeed, but all male. First up was Aaron Draven, who received a mixture of cheers and the usual boos, particularly from the die-hard Atlanta fans. Next came Sugar Dunkerton, his flamboyant outfit swapped for a pair of swim trunks and a pair of oversized sunglasses. Baron Black strutted out next, his intensity undiminished despite the absurdity of the situation. Alan Angels followed, his energy and acrobatic style making even the mundane task of washing a car seem dynamic. Finally, Cyrus the Destroyer lumbered into view, looking less than thrilled about the whole ordeal but ready to help the cause. “Hey, I never said who’d be topless!” Jimi cackled, taking a sip from his ever-present margarita. “Now, let’s get those cars cleaned and raise some money!” The wrestlers got to work, sudsing up cars and drawing laughter and cheers from the crowd. Sugar Dunkerton, always the entertainer, danced and joked with the fans, occasionally squirting water at Baron Black, who responded with mock glares. Aaron Draven, despite the relentless boos, focused on his task, trying to win over the crowd one clean windshield at a time. Alan Angels showcased his agility by leaping over cars to clean the other side, while Cyrus the Destroyer’s powerful frame made quick work of any grime. Reporters from WAGA-TV and WXIA-TV mingled with the fans, interviewing Jimi and the wrestlers. Lisa Rayam from WAGA-TV laughed as she spoke with Jimi, “Only you, Jimi, could come up with something this wild. What’s next, a wrestling match in a margarita pool?” “Don’t give me ideas, Lisa!” Jimi shot back, chuckling. “But seriously, it’s all about raising money for a good cause and getting people to our next show. And speaking of, make sure you catch the grand finale of our World Title Tournament!” Meanwhile, the fans were handed leaflets advertising the upcoming show, with Jimi himself urging them to attend. “You don’t want to miss this one, folks! It’s going to be the wildest night yet at the Clermont Lounge!” As the car wash neared its end, the crowd, now thoroughly entertained and many cars cleaner than they had been in years, started chanting, “Jimi! Jimi!” The fans, emboldened by the spectacle, insisted that Jimi himself had to get soaked. Jimi, ever the showman, held up his hands. “Alright, alright! For the fans, I’ll do it!” He handed his margarita to Blondie and stood in the middle of the lot as the wrestlers surrounded him with buckets of soapy water. On the count of three, they dumped the buckets over his head, soaking him completely. The crowd went wild, and Jimi, covered in suds and grinning from ear to ear, picked up his margarita and took a triumphant sip. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you promote a wrestling show!” Jimi declared, dripping wet. “Now, let’s get ready for the biggest night in KAPW history!” As the crowd dispersed, the excitement for the upcoming show was palpable. The event had been a roaring success, drawing attention to both the charity and KAPW’s grand finale. Above: Only the AI knows why Jimi Venezuela decided to attend this event looking like Weird Al Yankovic. Or why he's nearly naked. Or why he's wearing a Sombrero. Or... or... anything else that is happening in this picture, for that matter... Matches for the Third Show: Kiera “The Girl on Fire” Hogan vs. Alan Angels – in a Margarita Salt Mayhem Match – whatever the hell that is. Kiera Hogan’s explosive speed and fiery persona clash with Alan Angels’ high-energy acrobatics in what promises to be an utterly chaotic and hilarious bout, even though nobody’s really sure what the heck a Margarita Match is! Sugar Dunkerton and Baron Black vs. Priscilla Kelly and Cyrus The Destroyer A tag team match where the flamboyant antics of Dunkerton and the intense technical prowess of Black will face the bizarre unpredictability of Kelly and the brute strength of Cyrus. 4 Way Dance: AC Mack vs. Joe Black vs. Aaron Draven vs. Dani Jordyn A high-stakes clash featuring the cocky and charismatic AC Mack, the powerhouse Joe Black, the high-flying Aaron Draven, and the sassy, strategic Dani Jordyn. This match is sure to be wild and unpredictable! KAPW World Title Tournament – Grand Final – AR Fox vs. Fred Yehi The culmination of the tournament to crown the first-ever KAPW World Champion. AR Fox’s high-flying style takes on Fred Yehi’s technical mastery in an epic showdown. Don’t forget to send in your predictions and join us at the Clermont Lounge for the most unpredictable night of wrestling yet! Predictions Time (Let's go!) You guys rule! Let's see how things go now we're in this sexy new TEW IX forum! Post your predictions, may the best person win! Kiera “The Girl on Fire” Hogan vs. Alan Angels – in a Margarita Salt Mayhem Match – whatever the hell that is. Sugar Dunkerton and Baron Black vs. Priscilla Kelly and Cyrus The Destroyer 4 Way Dance: AC Mack vs. Joe Black vs. Aaron Draven vs. Dani Jordyn KAPW World Title Tournament – Grand Final – AR Fox vs. Fred Yehi Edited Friday at 05:28 PM by dstephe4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Phoenix Posted September 4 Share Posted September 4 1 hour ago, dstephe4 said: Sweaty, Topless And Moist (aka Here's what Jimi Venezuela and the Grand Poobah have in store this time around) For the first bout of shameless promotion to hype KAPW's debut card, I made the AI keep things pretty sensible. The result was a nice, laid back piece with a nice interview on a local jazz station. The second card unveiling was where I let our omnipotent Sassy Mama do whatever the hell her feverish mind could conjure up. This ended up being a bunch of local news dweebs getting gunged. Did you like that? Either way, I decided to steer this one somewhere in the middle. And what came out of the infernal machine was my favourite of the three... Wet. To promote the third and final show of the KAPW World Title Tournament, Jimi Venezuela orchestrated a spectacle so outrageous that it was sure to grab headlines and eyeballs alike—a charity topless car wash, with proceeds going to the Atlanta Community Food Bank, a local organization dedicated to helping those in need. The buzz around the event was palpable, drawing attention from small local TV stations like WAGA-TV and WXIA-TV, as well as the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Local reporters and news crews flocked to the event, eager to see the chaos that was sure to unfold. Jimi Venezuela, dressed in his usual loud Hawaiian shirt and fedora, stood at the entrance, grinning like the cat that got the cream. His cigar was half-chewed, and the scent of stale beer and cigars hung around him like a questionable cologne. Above: Do you have any idea who the dude on the sign is? No? Me neither. I'm also stumped as to what a 'Topemuzzbbvddeworlep Tourapnt' is too. However, by AI standards, this picture is a masterpiece, so in it went. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first-ever KAPW Charity Topless Car Wash!” Jimi shouted into his megaphone, his voice barely audible over the excited murmurs of the crowd. “For a small donation, you get your car washed by the finest wrestlers KAPW has to offer! Completely topless! And remember, it’s all for a great cause!” The line of cars stretched around the block, with eager patrons (predominantly male) anticipating a glimpse of their favorite KAPW stars in action. The buzz in the air suggested that many had shown up expecting to see Blondie and some of the female wrestlers in less attire. But Jimi had the last laugh as the wrestlers emerged—topless indeed, but all male. First up was Aaron Draven, who received a mixture of cheers and the usual boos, particularly from the die-hard Atlanta fans. Next came Sugar Dunkerton, his flamboyant outfit swapped for a pair of swim trunks and a pair of oversized sunglasses. Baron Black strutted out next, his intensity undiminished despite the absurdity of the situation. Alan Angels followed, his energy and acrobatic style making even the mundane task of washing a car seem dynamic. Finally, Cyrus the Destroyer lumbered into view, looking less than thrilled about the whole ordeal but ready to help the cause. “Hey, I never said who’d be topless!” Jimi cackled, taking a sip from his ever-present margarita. “Now, let’s get those cars cleaned and raise some money!” The wrestlers got to work, sudsing up cars and drawing laughter and cheers from the crowd. Sugar Dunkerton, always the entertainer, danced and joked with the fans, occasionally squirting water at Baron Black, who responded with mock glares. Aaron Draven, despite the relentless boos, focused on his task, trying to win over the crowd one clean windshield at a time. Alan Angels showcased his agility by leaping over cars to clean the other side, while Cyrus the Destroyer’s powerful frame made quick work of any grime. Reporters from WAGA-TV and WXIA-TV mingled with the fans, interviewing Jimi and the wrestlers. Lisa Rayam from WAGA-TV laughed as she spoke with Jimi, “Only you, Jimi, could come up with something this wild. What’s next, a wrestling match in a margarita pool?” “Don’t give me ideas, Lisa!” Jimi shot back, chuckling. “But seriously, it’s all about raising money for a good cause and getting people to our next show. And speaking of, make sure you catch the grand finale of our World Title Tournament!” Meanwhile, the fans were handed leaflets advertising the upcoming show, with Jimi himself urging them to attend. “You don’t want to miss this one, folks! It’s going to be the wildest night yet at the Clermont Lounge!” As the car wash neared its end, the crowd, now thoroughly entertained and many cars cleaner than they had been in years, started chanting, “Jimi! Jimi!” The fans, emboldened by the spectacle, insisted that Jimi himself had to get soaked. Jimi, ever the showman, held up his hands. “Alright, alright! For the fans, I’ll do it!” He handed his margarita to Blondie and stood in the middle of the lot as the wrestlers surrounded him with buckets of soapy water. On the count of three, they dumped the buckets over his head, soaking him completely. The crowd went wild, and Jimi, covered in suds and grinning from ear to ear, picked up his margarita and took a triumphant sip. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you promote a wrestling show!” Jimi declared, dripping wet. “Now, let’s get ready for the biggest night in KAPW history!” As the crowd dispersed, the excitement for the upcoming show was palpable. The event had been a roaring success, drawing attention to both the charity and KAPW’s grand finale. Above: Only the AI knows why Jimi Venezuela decided to attend this event looking like Weird Al Yankovic. Or why he's nearly naked. Or why he's wearing a Sombrero. Or... or... anything else that is happening in this picture, for that matter... Matches for the Third Show: Kiera “The Girl on Fire” Hogan vs. Alan Angels – in a Margarita Salt Mayhem Match – whatever the hell that is. Kiera Hogan’s explosive speed and fiery persona clash with Alan Angels’ high-energy acrobatics in what promises to be an utterly chaotic and hilarious bout, even though nobody’s really sure what the heck a Margarita Match is! Sugar Dunkerton and Baron Black vs. Priscilla Kelly and Cyrus The Destroyer A tag team match where the flamboyant antics of Dunkerton and the intense technical prowess of Black will face the bizarre unpredictability of Kelly and the brute strength of Cyrus. 4 Way Dance: AC Mack vs. Joe Black vs. Aaron Draven vs. Dani Jordyn A high-stakes clash featuring the cocky and charismatic AC Mack, the powerhouse Joe Black, the high-flying Aaron Draven, and the sassy, strategic Dani Jordyn. This match is sure to be wild and unpredictable! KAPW World Title Tournament – Grand Final – AR Fox vs. Fred Yehi The culmination of the tournament to crown the first-ever KAPW World Champion. AR Fox’s high-flying style takes on Fred Yehi’s technical mastery in an epic showdown. Don’t forget to send in your predictions and join us at the Clermont Lounge for the most unpredictable night of wrestling yet! Predictions Time (Let's go!) You guys rule! Let's see how things go now we're in this sexy new TEW IX forum! Post your predictions, may the best person win! Kiera “The Girl on Fire” Hogan vs. Alan Angels – in a Margarita Salt Mayhem Match – whatever the hell that is. Sugar Dunkerton and Baron Black vs. Priscilla Kelly and Cyrus The Destroyer 4 Way Dance: AC Mack vs. Joe Black vs. Aaron Draven vs. Dani Jordyn KAPW World Title Tournament – Grand Final – AR Fox vs. Fred Yehi Alan Angels wins by somehow setting Kiera Hogan on fire by using the right combination of Margarita, Salt and Mayhem (the mayhem is represented by four different boxes attached to poles in each corner of the ring). Cyrus The Destroyer & Priscilla Kelly Joe Black AR Fox 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DinoKea Posted September 4 Share Posted September 4 Predictions Alan Angels def. Kiera Hogan Priscilla Kelly & Cyrus the Destroyer def. Sugar Dunkerton & Baron Black Aaron Draven def. AC Mack, Joe Black & Dani Jordyn KAPW World Title: Fred Yehi def. AR Fox 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyTeran Posted September 5 Share Posted September 5 Kiera “The Girl on Fire” Hogan vs. Alan Angels – in a Margarita Salt Mayhem Match – whatever the hell that is. Sugar Dunkerton and Baron Black vs. Priscilla Kelly and Cyrus The Destroyer 4 Way Dance: AC Mack vs. Joe Black vs. Aaron Draven vs. Dani Jordyn KAPW World Title Tournament – Grand Final – AR Fox vs. Fred Yehi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted September 6 Author Share Posted September 6 (edited) The KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic Tournament (Part Three, 151 In Attendance) The lights are dim, the crowd is rowdy, and the Clermont Lounge is buzzing with anticipation as the third KAPW show kicks off in its usual chaotic fashion. Jimi Venezuela, sporting a Hawaiian shirt so loud it could be seen from space, stands in the ring with a half-finished margarita in hand. Blondie, in her usual dazzling attire, stands next to him, her smile beaming as bright as the questionable lighting in the lounge. Jimi raises the microphone, sloshing his margarita in the process. "Welcome, KAPW faithful, to the wildest, rowdiest, most unpredictable wrestling show on the planet! Tonight, we crown our first-ever KAPW World Champion in the epic final of the Pro Wrestling Classic! AR Fox takes on Fred Yehi, and it's gonna be one hell of a match!" The crowd roars with excitement, but Jimi isn't done. "And if that wasn't enough to get your blood pumping and your heads spinning, I've got even better news! Last week's half-price margarita night was such a smashing success, we're doing it again tonight! That's right, folks, half-price margaritas all night long!" The crowd erupts, and Jimi raises his glass, toasting to the sea of fans who are more than ready to take advantage of the deal. "I think I drank half of them myself last week," he laughs, taking a big gulp. Blondie steps forward, microphone in hand. "That's right, Jimi! And tonight, we have even more surprises in store for you. But first, let's get this party started with a little something special. Jimi, hit the music!" Suddenly, the lounge is filled with the unmistakable sounds of "Margarita MOFO" by the irrepressible Whiskey River Backdraft. Jimi begins a hilarious, stumbling dance, spilling his margarita everywhere as Blondie giggles beside him. The crowd joins in, singing along and swaying to the music, turning the lounge into a boozy, uncoordinated mosh pit. As the song winds down, Jimi, now thoroughly margarita-soaked, regains his composure. "Alright, enough of that! We've got a show to run, and what a show it's gonna be! In addition to our epic main event, we've got some wild matches lined up, and maybe a few surprises along the way." Blondie chimes in, "And don't forget, we've got some of the craziest fans in the world right here! So, let's hear it for you guys, the true stars of KAPW!" The crowd roars again, and Jimi can't resist another sip of his drink. "Now, before we get to the action, let's take a moment to appreciate the fine establishment we're in. The Clermont Lounge, where the drinks are strong, the floors are sticky, and the memories are blurry. Give it up for our home venue!" As the fans cheer, a couple of regulars from the front row toss their own margaritas into the ring, splashing Jimi and Blondie, who both take it in stride. "Alright, alright! Let's get this party started with our first match of the night!" "And now," Jimi says, wringing spilled booze out of his shirt, "let’s get this show on the road. You’ve seen wrestlers, you’ve seen margaritas, but have you ever seen a wrestling match… on a bed of margarita salt?" The crowd gasps in confusion and excitement as a group of staff members wheel out a massive platform covered in salt. Jimi grins widely. "We’re calling it the Margarita Salt Mayhem Match! Let’s see who can handle the burn!" Blondie laughs, "Jimi, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. Alright, folks, buckle up! It’s going to be one hell of a night. Enjoy the half-price margaritas, the crazy matches, and get ready to crown our first-ever KAPW World Champion! Let's do this!" The crowd roars once more as Jimi and Blondie exit the ring, leaving the chaos to unfold as only KAPW can deliver. The screen fades to black, promising an unforgettable night of action, booze, and absolute mayhem. The crowd goes wild, but there's a mix of confusion and excitement. The commentators, Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott, exchange puzzled looks. "Did he just say 'Margarita Salt Mayhem Match'?" Veda asks, raising an eyebrow. "I think he did, Veda," Lenny responds, chuckling. "And I have no idea what that means, but I'm sure it's going to be... interesting." Jimi continues, "Let's bring out our competitors! First up, the cold and calculating Kiera 'The Girl on Fire' Hogan!" Kiera's music hits, and she walks to the ring with her usual fiery glare, visibly unimpressed by the announcement. She grabs a mic, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Really, Jimi? A Margarita Salt Mayhem Match? This is a joke, right?" Jimi grins, unfazed. "Oh, it's no joke, Girl on Fire! And your opponent tonight, bringing all the flash and flair—Alan Angels!" Alan's high-energy entrance music blares, and he bursts through the curtain, flipping and somersaulting his way to the ring. He stops short when he hears the match type, looking equally bemused and irritated. Grabbing a mic, he shakes his head. "Seriously, Jimi? What's next, a Tequila Lime Tornado match?" The crowd laughs, and Jimi just shrugs. "Hey, don't give me any ideas, Alan!" Back at the commentary table, Lenny and Veda are in stitches. "This is already shaping up to be the most bizarre match in KAPW history," Lenny says, trying to catch his breath. "And that's saying something," Veda adds, still giggling. "But you know what? I'm here for it!" Jimi hands his margarita to a fan in the front row and takes a moment to explain—or at least try to—what the Margarita Salt Mayhem Match entails. "It's simple! We got salt, we got margaritas, and we got mayhem! Now, let's get this party started!" As the competitors prepare, Kiera and Alan exchange wary glances, clearly not thrilled about the prospect of this ridiculous match. The ring crew starts setting up tables with giant margarita glasses and salt shakers the size of fire extinguishers. The crowd’s anticipation is palpable. "Whatever this is, it's going to be unforgettable," Lenny says, grinning. "And probably really messy," Veda adds, shaking her head. "But that's KAPW for you!" The bell rings, and the madness is about to begin. Angle rating: 45. Kiera "The Girl on Fire" Hogan vs Alan Angels – in a Margarita Salt Mayhem Match - whatever the hell that is. The Margarita Salt Mayhem Match is officially underway! Kiera "The Girl on Fire" Hogan and Alan Angels circle each other warily, both unsure of what to expect from this absurd spectacle. The crowd is hyped, chanting for margaritas and salt. Kiera wastes no time, lunging at Alan with a series of quick jabs. Alan ducks and dodges, using his agility to stay out of reach. He backflips out of the corner, landing near one of the giant margarita glasses. With a cheeky grin, he scoops up some salt and throws it at Kiera, who ducks just in time, sending the salt flying into the first few rows of the crowd. Lenny Leonard can't help but laugh. "This is already off the rails, Veda!" "You can say that again, Lenny! Who knew salt could be such a dangerous weapon?" Kiera, now irritated, grabs a comically oversized salt shaker and tries to douse Alan with it. Alan, ever the showman, leaps onto the top rope and springboards off, narrowly avoiding the salty shower. He lands behind Kiera and gives her a playful tap on the shoulder. When she turns, he plants a quick kiss on her forehead, much to her disgust and the crowd's amusement. "Oh, that's just adding insult to injury!" Veda exclaims. Kiera, fuming, charges at Alan again, but he sidesteps and she crashes into one of the margarita tables, knocking it over and spilling salt everywhere. She slips in the mess, giving Alan a chance to grab a handful of lime wedges from another table. "Is he going to make a drink or win a match?" Lenny wonders aloud. Alan theatrically bites into a lime wedge and spits the juice at Kiera, who shrieks in surprise. She wipes her eyes, glaring daggers at Alan. But before she can retaliate, Alan hits her with a quick arm drag, sending her crashing into another margarita glass. "Alan's using every part of this ridiculous setup to his advantage!" Veda says, clearly enjoying the chaos. Kiera, now covered in a mix of salt and margarita, gets to her feet and grabs another salt shaker. She manages to get a few good hits in on Alan, but he rolls through and pops up on the other side of the ring. He grabs the mic from the referee and shouts, "This is one salty match!" The crowd roars with laughter as Kiera takes the opportunity to tackle Alan from behind. They roll around in the mess, each trying to gain the upper hand. Kiera locks in a submission hold, but Alan reaches out and grabs another lime wedge, squeezing the juice into her face again. She releases the hold, sputtering in rage. "This is the sourest match I've ever seen," Lenny comments. Alan, sensing victory, climbs to the top rope, ready to hit his signature 450 splash. But Kiera, with a last burst of energy, hurls a handful of salt at him. Alan flinches, nearly losing his balance, but he steadies himself and launches off the top rope, hitting Kiera with a perfect 450 splash right into a pool of spilled margarita. "That's gotta be it!" Veda shouts. Alan covers Kiera, and the referee counts the three. The bell rings, and Alan Angels is declared the winner of the first-ever Margarita Salt Mayhem Match! Alan stands tall, arms raised in victory, as the crowd goes wild. Kiera, still fuming and covered in margarita, rolls out of the ring, muttering curses under her breath. "And your winner, still the #1 contender, Alan Angels!" Jimi announces, stumbling back into the ring with a fresh margarita. “Wait, was this a #1 contenders bout?” asks Leonard. “Who cares?! I really don’t think that’s the main issue here!” countered Veda. Alan grabs the mic and, with a big grin, says, "I'd like to thank salt, limes, and of course, margaritas for this win!" The crowd laughs and cheers as Jimi raises Alan's hand in victory. "And that's just the beginning, folks! We've got an epic night ahead, including the grand finale of our tournament!" Veda wraps it up perfectly. "If this match is any indication, we're in for one wild ride tonight!" The cameras pan out as Alan celebrates with the fans, tossing lime wedges and salt shakers into the crowd as souvenirs. The absurdity of the match has set the perfect tone for another unforgettable night at KAPW. Match rating: 47. The KAPW ring is buzzing with excitement as Jimi Venezuela, in his ever-present, slightly disheveled Hawaiian shirt, saunters back from the bar, a fresh margarita in hand. The fans cheer wildly, knowing that whenever Jimi is around, something unpredictable is bound to happen. "Ladies and gentlemen!" Jimi roars, barely audible over the clinking of ice in his drink. "I've got a brilliant idea, inspired by, well... several margaritas and the overwhelming need for some fun!" The crowd roars with approval. "Please welcome to the ring, two of the most hard-working, dedicated wrestlers in the business – Sugar Dunkerton and Baron Black!" Cue Sugar Dunkerton’s entrance, bouncing down the ramp in his retro outfit, full of swagger and vibrant colors. He’s got the shades, the headband, the whole 80s vibe, but behind him comes Baron Black, looking every bit as serious as ever. A tactical, no-nonsense wrestler in sleek gear, Baron oozes focus. The contrast between them? It was like watching a disco dancer enter a chess tournament. The crowd could feel something wasn’t quite right with this pairing. Baron looked downright confused, and Sugar, bless him, was oblivious to the bad chemistry that was practically sparking off them. They both stood in the ring, sharing a glance that screamed, "How is this going to work?" "Now, listen here, you two," Jimi begins, swaying slightly. "You both have something in common – an unwavering dedication to your craft and a relentless work ethic. You've both spent years grinding on the indie scene, earning your stripes and building your reputations the hard way. I thought, why not put you together as a tag team? Imagine it – the perfect combination of technical prowess and charismatic flair!" Both men shoot Jimi a look that lets him know they’re not buying any of that. Jimi began backtracking, hiccupping slightly, “You’ve guys have so much in common! You’re both... uh... you both wrestle!” The crowd burst out laughing, as even the commentators couldn't hold it together. Lenny Leonard’s voice rang out, “I don’t know what Jimi’s drinking, but I want some.” Veda Scott quipped, “Yeah, 'cause these two have as much in common as a disco ball and a black hole!” But Jimi, undeterred, slurred on. “You’re both... talented, fierce competitors, and that’s why I’m putting you together! You’re gonna tear it up!” The fans cheered for the madness of it all, while Baron rubbed his temple, clearly regretting whatever life choices had led him to this moment. Sugar, meanwhile, was jazzed up and ready to go, hyping the crowd, oblivious to the fact that his new tag partner was about as excited about the pairing as someone at the dentist. They share a perplexed look, clearly wondering what Jimi has up his sleeve. From the commentary table, Lenny Leonard chimes in, "Jimi's clearly making this up as he goes along." Veda Scott chuckles. "Yeah, Lenny. Knowing Jimi, he probably pulled this partnership out of his ass five minutes ago while he was refilling his margarita." But the fans' skepticism only fuels Jimi's enthusiasm. "But wait," Jimi continues, pausing for a dramatic sip of his margarita, "I forgot something crucial. A tag team needs... opponents. Oops." He looks around the ring, scratching his head, clearly not having planned this far ahead. The crowd starts shouting names, offering their own suggestions. From the crowd, Priscilla Kelly stands up and shouts, "I'll do it!" Her voice cutting through the chaos. "Excellent! We've got one!" Jimi exclaims. "But we need another... Any takers?" Just then, Cyrus The Destroyer, towering over everyone, shouts from the back, "Let me at 'em!" Jimi, taking another epic sip of his margarita, shrugs and grins. "Well, there you have it, folks! It's Sugar Dunkerton and Baron Black versus Priscilla Kelly and Cyrus The Destroyer!" The crowd goes wild as Jimi stumbles to the ring bell, ringing it with a flourish. "Let the madness begin!" Lenny Leonard shakes his head, still chuckling. "Only in KAPW could we get a match setup like this. I don’t think even Jimi knows what he’s doing half the time." Veda Scott nods in agreement. "But hey, that's the charm of KAPW, Lenny. You never know what's coming next, and neither does Jimi. It's like a crazy wrestling fever dream." The bell rings, and the wrestlers prepare to face off, the fans cheering for the sheer absurdity and unpredictability of the whole situation. Angle rating: 30. Sugar Dunkerton and Baron Black vs Priscilla Kelly and Cyrus The Destroyer As the impromptu tag match gets underway, the commentators, Lenny Leonard and Veda Scott, can't help but chuckle. "Lenny, did you see that coming?" Veda asks, shaking her head in disbelief. "Absolutely not, Veda. But with Jimi and a margarita in the mix, you never know what'll happen next!" The match kicks off with Sugar Dunkerton and Priscilla Kelly starting things off. Sugar, ever the showman, dances around the ring, trying to out-fabulous Kelly, who responds with an eye roll and a swift kick to Sugar’s midsection. Meanwhile, Baron Black and Cyrus The Destroyer are exchanging taunts on the apron. Baron points to his sleek gear, flexing his muscles, while Cyrus flexes his massive biceps, unimpressed. "Oh, it's a clash of the titans in terms of fashion and muscle!" Lenny jokes. Back in the ring, Sugar tags in Baron, who dramatically throws off his jacket and leaps into action. Baron lands a series of quick, technical moves, including a picture-perfect dropkick that sends Kelly reeling. But Kelly, always resourceful, tags in Cyrus, who storms the ring like a bull. "Things just got serious!" Veda exclaims as Cyrus charges at Baron, lifting him high into the air and slamming him down with a thunderous powerbomb. The ring shakes, and the crowd gasps. Sugar, seeing his partner in trouble, rushes to Baron’s aid, jumping onto Cyrus' back in a desperate attempt to slow him down. The crowd is on their feet, loving every chaotic second of this match. Priscilla Kelly, not to be outdone, leaps from the top rope, aiming a high-flying crossbody at Baron. But Baron, with surprising agility, rolls out of the way, leaving Kelly to crash into Cyrus, knocking him off balance. "That was some quick thinking by Baron Black!" Lenny shouts, clearly impressed. Cyrus, showing his resilience, gets back to his feet, lifting both Baron and Sugar simultaneously for a double suplex. The crowd erupts in cheers for the sheer display of power. "Cyrus The Destroyer is an unstoppable force!" Veda exclaims. It was clear by this point that Baron and Sugar didn’t mix. When Sugar leaped to his feet, shook off the impact of the move, waved to the crowd, then went for a high-five with his impromptu partner, Baron stared blankly at him, completely unamused by the showboating. “Looks like Baron Black didn’t get the memo—Fun isn’t allowed tonight,” Lenny snarked. And things only got worse. Every time Baron would try to set up a technical masterpiece, Sugar would rush in with an ill-timed dance move or mistimed tag, ruining Baron’s rhythm. The fans were howling with laughter as it became clear that this duo wasn’t just oil and water—they were a full-blown dumpster fire. At one point, Sugar tried to hit a flying crossbody onto Cyrus, but it was like slamming into a brick wall. Baron shook his head as if to say, I told you so, while Priscilla gleefully knocked Sugar around with ease. Then came the moment of disaster. Sugar, trying to prove his worth, went for a huge punch, but ended up clocking himself in the face after Cyrus dodged—ouch. The resulting impact inexplicably broke Sugar’s jaw, sending shockwaves through the ring and throwing the whole match into chaos. “What just happened?!” Veda shouted, her eyes wide with disbelief. It was clear to everyone that Sugar was out of commission, and the ref quickly signaled to Baron and the other wrestlers that they needed to wrap things up. With Sugar incapacitated, Baron had no choice but to go it alone. He tried to fight off Cyrus and Priscilla, and while he put up an impressive technical display, it was clear that he was outmatched. The chemistry that wasn’t there to begin with had now completely derailed the match. In a final moment of desperation, Baron tried to lock in a submission on Cyrus, but the powerhouse broke free and planted Baron with a massive powerbomb. Priscilla tagged in, delivering a finishing blow that sealed the deal. The referee counted three, and the match was over. As the dust settled, Baron Black was left standing, furious with the entire situation. Sugar was still being tended to by medical personnel, his jaw swollen from his self-inflicted injury. The fans, sensing Baron’s frustration, were actually behind him for once, sympathizing with how the whole thing had gone up in flames. Jimi Venezuela, margarita still in hand, sauntered back into the ring with a grin plastered across his face. “Welp, that was... something, huh?” The fans erupted in laughter, knowing full well that this was just the kind of chaos they’d come to expect from KAPW. Baron, wiping sweat from his brow, stared daggers at Jimi, but the promoter just shrugged. “Hey, sometimes you win, sometimes your partner punches himself in the face. That’s wrestling, baby!” As Baron began yelling at our bewildered referee Mike Posey, Jimi raised his glass to the crowd. “Here’s to partnerships that don’t work out! We’ll get ‘em next time!” The camera panned out to the image of Sugar being stretchered to the back, while Jimi stood in the ring, toasting the calamity with a fresh margarita in hand. Match rating: 32. As Baron Black sulks, Priscilla Kelly reaches into her tights and pulls out her trusty pet rock, Rocky, holding it up triumphantly. The crowd goes silent for a moment, then bursts into laughter and cheers. Lenny Leonard, clearly amused, leans into his microphone. "And there it is, folks. Priscilla Kelly's secret weapon – Rocky the pet rock! You just never know what you’re going to see here at KAPW.” Veda Scott chuckles. “I mean, Lenny, how many times have we seen this now? You’d think we’d be used to it, but every time it’s just as ridiculous.” Priscilla cradles Rocky tenderly, talking to it as if it were a living companion. Although no one can hear what she’s saying, the scene is bizarre enough to throw Cyrus off his game. He looks over at Priscilla and shakes his head in disbelief. “You and that damn rock,” he mutters, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face. In a comedic twist, Baron Black, despite his loss approaches Priscilla with exaggerated caution. “Hey, uh, nice rock you got there,” Baron says, grinning. Priscilla narrows her eyes playfully. “Don’t mess with Rocky, boys. He’s been through a lot.” Jimi Venezuela, ever the instigator, leans over the ropes with a fresh margarita. “Well, Rocky deserves a drink too! Margaritas for everyone!” He raises his glass, prompting the crowd to cheer once more. Priscilla stands up, dusting herself off, and raises Rocky high into the air. “For Rocky!” she shouts, leading the audience in a chant of “Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!” as she makes her way backstage, a mixture of pride and amusement on her face. The absurdity and fun of the moment perfectly encapsulate the spirit of KAPW, leaving the audience eagerly anticipating what other wild antics the night has in store. Angle rating: 30. Backstage at the Clermont Lounge, Blondie is trying her best to hold the microphone steady as she stands between AR Fox and Fred Yehi, the two finalists of the KAPW Pro Wrestling Classic World Title Tournament. The tension is palpable, and Blondie’s wide eyes and nervous smile show she knows she’s in over her head. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here with AR Fox and Fred Yehi,” Blondie starts, trying to keep her composure. “Guys, what are your thoughts going into tonight’s big final match?” AR Fox, ever the high-flyer and showman, adjusts his bandana and smirks. “Blondie, it’s simple. I’ve flown higher, hit harder, and dazzled these fans more than anyone. Tonight, I’m taking that title home, and Yehi here can watch from the sidelines.” Fred Yehi, the technical powerhouse, crosses his arms and steps forward, glaring at Fox. “Is that right, Fox? You think your flips and tricks are going to win you the belt? You’ve got another thing coming. I’ve been breaking backs and tapping out fools long before you even thought about stepping in this ring. Tonight, you’re just another name on my list.” Blondie looks from Fox to Yehi, sensing the brewing storm. “Uh, well, AR, Fred, surely there’s mutual respect—” Fox cuts her off, his eyes blazing. “Respect? The only thing I respect about Yehi is his ability to lose gracefully. After I’m done with you, Fred, you’ll be begging for a rematch, but I’ll be too busy celebrating my victory.” Yehi steps even closer, his nostrils flaring. “Begging? The only thing I’ll be begging for is someone to come scrape you off the mat after I’m done stretching you in every direction possible.” Blondie, realizing she’s losing control of the situation, waves her hands. “Guys, guys! Let’s keep it professional—” But it’s too late. Fox and Yehi are chest-to-chest, shouting over each other. The scene is pure chaos, and Blondie’s shock is written all over her face. Just when it looks like fists are about to fly, the Clermont Lounge’s bouncers, a couple of burly guys with more tattoos than hair, rush in to separate them. The bouncers, clearly used to this sort of thing, pull the wrestlers apart, each straining against the grip. Fox yells, “You’re going down, Yehi!” while Yehi shouts back, “Not if I take you out first, Fox!” Blondie stands there, microphone forgotten at her side, genuinely shocked by the altercation. “Wow, folks, I, uh, I never saw that coming,” she stammers, despite the cliché nature of the encounter. The bouncers finally manage to push Fox and Yehi to opposite ends of the room, still glaring daggers at each other. Blondie regains her composure, albeit shakily, and turns to the camera. “Well, there you have it! Emotions are running high, and it looks like tonight’s final is going to be even more explosive than we thought! Back to you, Jimi!” The camera cuts back to ringside, where Jimi Venezuela is in the middle of chugging yet another margarita. He wipes his mouth, grinning. “Well, Blondie, that was more intense than a half-price margarita night! Can’t wait to see these two tear each other apart in the ring later. Stay tuned, folks, it’s gonna be wild!” Angle rating: 30. 4 Way Dance: AC Mack vs Joe Black vs Aaron Draven vs Dani Jordyn The crowd is buzzing, the margaritas are flowing, and our next match is a thrilling 4-way dance featuring AC Mack, Aaron Draven, Joe Black, and Dani Jordyn. But let’s be real, folks—this match wasn’t exactly planned with military precision. It’s a classic case of Jimi Venezuela’s legendary stinginess. He can’t stand the thought of paying these four and not getting some action out of them, so he tossed them into the ring together like leftover scraps into a salad. But hey, that’s the KAPW charm! “Welcome, wrestling fans! I’m Lenny Leonard, here with my partner, Veda Scott, and we’re about to witness what Jimi’s calling a ‘strategically important match,’” Lenny says, making air quotes. “Right, Lenny. Strategically important like Jimi’s decision to water down the margaritas. But hey, we’re here, the wrestlers are here, let’s make the best of it!” Veda adds, smirking. The bell rings, and the chaos begins. AC Mack, always the showman, struts around the ring, taunting the crowd. “I’m the Mack of all trades, baby!” he shouts, but the fans are already gearing up for their favorite pastime: booing Aaron Draven. Draven, ever the high-flyer from Tampa, attempts a springboard dropkick, but the fans are merciless. “Go back to Tampa! We want Atlanta!” they chant. Even with his impressive moves, Draven can’t catch a break. The crowd starts a new chant, “Tampa’s worst export!” Joe Black, the imposing powerhouse, slams Draven to the mat with a thunderous suplex. “That’s right, Joe! Show ‘em how Atlanta does it!” Lenny yells into the mic. But even Joe’s dominating presence can’t overshadow the absurdity of the situation. Meanwhile, Dani Jordyn, the Real Mean Girl, is in full character mode, taking every opportunity to belittle her opponents. She smashes Mack with a clipboard she had hidden in the corner, scribbling “Loser” on a piece of paper and slapping it onto Mack’s back. “Did Jimi really think this match through?” Veda wonders aloud. “Or did he just find these names in a hat and say, ‘Yeah, sure, go wrestle’?” As the match continues, Draven begins to impress despite the relentless jeers. He nails a perfect moonsault on Joe Black, nearly getting the pin. “Wow, Draven is really showing his skills tonight!” Lenny comments. “Too bad the fans still want to send him packing.” “Hey, maybe if he wins, they’ll at least offer him a map back to Tampa,” Veda quips. The action heats up as AC Mack and Dani Jordyn team up temporarily to take down the hulking Joe Black. They manage to get him out of the ring, but their alliance quickly dissolves as Jordyn turns on Mack, hitting him with a DDT. Draven sees his chance and goes for a high-risk move from the top rope. The crowd erupts in boos, chanting, “Tampa sucks!” and “Why are you here?” But Draven, fueled by determination (and perhaps a touch of spite), leaps off and hits a spectacular Senton splash on Jordyn. He covers for the pin, and the referee counts to three. Aaron Draven wins the match, despite the fans’ unending hostility. “Unbelievable! Draven wins!” Lenny exclaims. “Looks like Jimi’s random match actually paid off,” Veda adds. “Even if the fans would rather see him on a bus back to Tampa.” As Draven stands victorious, Jimi Venezuela saunters out, margarita in hand. “See? I told you it was all part of the plan!” he says, clearly enjoying the chaos he created. “Plan? Jimi, you couldn’t plan a picnic in a park,” Veda retorts. The crowd continues to boo, but Draven holds his head high. The commentators try to salvage the situation, with Veda saying, “Well, you can’t say the guy didn’t try. He’s shown a lot of promise.” “Yeah,” Lenny agrees. “Maybe next time, the fans will see what we see.” And with that, the KAPW train of madness rolls on. Match rating: 51. KAPW World Title Tournament – Grand Final – AR Fox vs Fred Yehi Welcome to the Grand Finale of the KAPW tournament, where the energy is electric and the Clermont Lounge is packed to the rafters! The crowd is wild with anticipation as AR Fox and Fred Yehi prepare to clash in the most highly anticipated match of the night. Both competitors have fought tooth and nail to get here, and the wear and tear of previous rounds are visible on their faces. The stakes couldn’t be higher as they step into the ring, eyes locked with intensity. The bell rings, and the match kicks off with a furious exchange of holds and counters. Fox’s high-flying agility is immediately apparent, but Yehi’s technical prowess keeps him grounded. The crowd roars as Fox flips and spins around the ring, but Yehi methodically slows the pace, trapping Fox in a series of debilitating submission holds. Yehi’s signature Koji Clutch has Fox writhing in pain, but the high-flyer shows his resilience, inching his way to the ropes and forcing a break. Yehi’s frustration mounts as he argues with the referee, buying Fox precious recovery time. Seizing the moment, Fox unleashes a torrent of offense, nailing a springboard cutter that leaves Yehi dazed. He follows up with a breathtaking 450 splash from the top rope, and the crowd collectively holds its breath. The referee’s hand slaps the mat: one, two, and Yehi kicks out just in time! The action spills outside the ring, where Yehi takes brutal control. With a thundering back suplex onto the apron—the hardest part of the ring—Yehi nearly breaks Fox in half. Fox writhes in agony on the floor, but the resilient high-flyer somehow finds the strength to stagger back into the ring. Yehi pounces, looking to end it with another submission, but Fox counters brilliantly, flipping over Yehi and hitting a reverse hurricanrana that sends shockwaves through the arena. Both men lie exhausted on the mat, the crowd chanting for their favorites. Slowly, they get to their feet, and Fox attempts his signature Lo Mein Pain. But Yehi, showing his ring awareness, catches him mid-air and transitions into a devastating powerbomb. The ring shakes with the impact, and Yehi locks in the Koji Clutch once more, determined to make Fox tap out. But Fox, digging deep into his reserves, manages to roll through, pinning Yehi’s shoulders to the mat for a nail-biting near fall. The crowd is on the edge of their seats, the tension palpable. Yehi, now desperate, climbs to the top rope for a high-risk maneuver. Fox, recovering just in time, counters with a stunning top-rope Spanish Fly. The impact leaves both men sprawled out on the canvas, the referee beginning his count. With the crowd chanting “KAPW! KAPW!”, Fox slowly drapes an arm over Yehi. The referee counts: one, two, three! The Clermont Lounge explodes with cheers as AR Fox is declared the inaugural KAPW World Champion. Fox stands tall, clutching the championship belt, his journey through the tournament complete. In a surprising show of sportsmanship, Yehi extends a hand to Fox, acknowledging the incredible battle they just fought. The two shake hands in the center of the ring, a moment of respect that resonates with the fans. But then, in a shocking twist, Yehi pulls Fox in for a clothesline, flattening him. The crowd erupts in boos, disbelief and outrage filling the air. Jimi Venezuela, still nursing a margarita, stumbles into the ring to pull Yehi away. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Take it easy, Fred!” Jimi slurs, trying to separate the two. Yehi, eyes burning with anger, finally relents and makes his exit, leaving a stunned crowd behind. As AR Fox struggles to his feet, helped by Jimi, the fans show their appreciation for the new champion with a thunderous ovation. Fox, battered but victorious, holds the championship belt high, solidifying his place as the face of KAPW. His journey through the tournament, filled with high-flying antics and incredible resilience, has endeared him to the fans and cemented his legacy. The bout ends with Fox standing tall, his gaze fixed on the exit where Yehi disappeared, knowing their feud is far from over. The crowd’s chants echo through the Clermont Lounge, promising even more unforgettable action in the weeks to come. Match rating: 61. The crowd is buzzing with anticipation as Jimi Venezuela stumbles back into the ring, microphone in one hand and a newly topped-up margarita in the other. Beside him, Blondie beams, her cleavage doing most of the work in keeping the fans’ attention. Between them stands AR Fox, bruised and battered but radiating pride. Jimi raises the microphone, slurring slightly, “Ladies and gentle-degenerates, tonight we crown the first-ever KAPW World Champion – AR Fox!” The crowd erupts in a mix of cheers and drunken jeers, someone in the back yelling, “That belt better not have bedbugs!” Jimi chuckles and gestures to Blondie, who holds up the championship belt. It’s as gaudy and over-the-top as you’d expect, glittering under the cheap lounge lights. “AR Fox,” Jimi continues, “you’ve shown guts, determination, and the ability to take a beating like a champ. It is my dubious honor to present you with this... uh... slightly pre-owned but very prestigious KAPW World Title!” Blondie hands the belt to Fox, who lifts it high above his head. The crowd cheers, some throwing their drinks in the air in celebration, creating an oddly festive, sticky mess. Fox, grinning despite the pain, takes the mic. “Thank you, KAPW! This is for all the crazy fans who stuck with us, through thick and thin, cheap booze and questionable hygiene!” Jimi, ever the opportunist, chimes in, “And speaking of cheap booze, it’s still half-price Margarita night! Drink up, folks!” The crowd roars its approval, and Jimi, never one to miss a beat, clinks his margarita glass against Fox’s newly won belt. “To Fox! To KAPW! And to really, really affordable alcohol!” Blondie, not wanting to be left out, steps up to Fox. “So, AR, now that you’re the champ, how do you plan to celebrate? Maybe another match? Or, you know, just trying to survive the night here?” Fox laughs, “Blondie, I think I’ll start by avoiding any more surprise clotheslines from Fred Yehi, and maybe try to find a place to ice these bruises. But first, drinks on me!” He gestures to the bar, and the crowd goes wild. Jimi takes back the mic, “Alright, alright, settle down, you animals! We’ve had one hell of a night. We’ve crowned a new champion, seen some epic battles, and probably violated a few health codes. But that’s how we do it in KAPW! So, let’s give it up one more time for AR Fox, your KAPW World Champion!” As the crowd chants Fox’s name, Blondie leans in and whispers something to Jimi. He grins widely. “Oh, and one last thing, folks! All KAPW ticket holders get 10% off drinks all night at the Clermont Lounge! Because nothing says ‘championship celebration’ like a good, old-fashioned discount on your booze!” The crowd cheers louder, a mix of genuine excitement and drunken enthusiasm. Fox, still holding his belt high, nods in appreciation, soaking in the moment. “And with that,” Jimi concludes, “let’s wrap up this glorious mess of a show! See you next time, KAPW faithful, where the action is fierce, the drinks are cheap, and the memories are... well, probably a bit hazy. Goodnight!” The screen fades to black as the cheers of the crowd echo through the lounge, a fitting end to a night of wild, unforgettable action in Kick Ass Pro Wrestling. Angle rating: 30. Above: Yes, this image is messed up. But so is this diary. So on we go... Overall show rating: 43. Edited Saturday at 07:47 AM by dstephe4 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
80085 Posted September 8 Share Posted September 8 This is getting good now. The shows are getting Personality now bruv. I will be involving myself in this now fella it is becoming a pretty good read 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted September 9 Author Share Posted September 9 (edited) What shall we call you? The Grand Poobah? Sassy Mama? What do you want to be known as? Oh honey, you can just call me Sassy Mama! The Grand Poobah of Drama, the Queen of Chaos, or just the one who spills the perfect tea — I’m here to entertain, sass it up, and bring the fabulous wrestling drama to life. So buckle up, sugar, ‘cause this train’s leaving the station and we’re heading straight for Hilarity Town with a pit stop at Crazyville! Now, let’s dive into the chaos of KAPW! Well, well, well! Gather ‘round, my fabulous wrestling fanatics, because this Sassy Mama has some words to lay down! A MASSIVE THANK YOU to each and every one of you who’ve been following the rollercoaster that is KAPW through the wild and unpredictable chaos of the Pro Wrestling Classic Tournament! Did you enjoy it? Of course you did—how could you not?! We served you drama, we served you chaos, and we served it with a side of sass and body slams, honey! You’ve cheered, you’ve jeered, and you’ve been with us through every high-flying flip, every backstage brawl, and every sketchy Jimi Venezuela plot twist. And darling, we’ve only just begun! We know you’ve got your favorites, and trust me, the drama between Fox, Yehi, and the whole damn roster is just heating up. But, hold onto your folding chairs, because KAPW is hittin’ the road for the World Tour of Atlanta! That’s right, baby—we’re stepping out of our beloved scuzzy Clermont and bringing the madness to the streets of the ATL! Our first stop? Oh, nothing too fancy, just the legendary MJQ Concourse! That’s right, darlings, meet us there for another unforgettable night of brawling, chaos, and everything in between. So, get your tickets, shine up your boots, and prepare yourselves, because KAPW is about to blow the roof off Atlanta—one dive bar at a time! Stay tuned, stay fierce, and we’ll see you at the MJQ! Pulling Back The Curtain... (aka A 'behind the scenes' glimpse into the goings-on of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling) I thought this would be a good time to pull back the curtain and shine a light on some of the backstage happenings of KAPW. A behind the scenes view, for you fine readers. Considering we're only 3 weeks of game time into this thing, there's been quite a lot going on. And the Grand Poobah was more than happy to tell a tale or two about it all... Road Agent Meltdown: Ranger Ross Loses It Honey, you would think running a two-hour show in a dive bar would be a walk in the park, right? WRONG—at least according to Ranger Ross. The man threw the mother of all tantrums, stomping his feet like a toddler at nap time, hollering about how there was “too much work for one man.” Sweetie, it’s not WrestleMania, it’s a tiny wrestling show in a local bar! But oh no, he wasn’t having it. Held his breath till he turned blue, and Jimi Venezuela, ever the soft touch when it comes to tantrums, gave in. So, enter Leilani Kai, our brand-new second road agent. Maybe now we can all stop pretending our little show is the wrestling equivalent of NASA’s mission control. Referee Drama: Mike Posey’s Grand Return Oh, darling, let me tell you about Mike Posey, the referee who ghosted us like a bad Tinder date. Decided our little KAPW show was too low-key for him and wandered off to work for those AEW wannabes. Did we miss him? Absolutely not. We took that ref money and got ourselves not one, but TWO fabulous referees for the money Mike would’ve got: Mia Martinez and Billy Grace, who worked their tails off while Posey was sipping lattes at AEW. Then, lo and behold, Mr. Big-Time waltzes back in for show 3 like nothing happened. Now we’ve got three referees and absolutely no clue what to do with all of them. Referee musical chairs, anyone? Show 4: The Wildest Yet – Hold Onto Your Chairs Let me tell you, we’ve just finished paying off all the lawsuits from our fourth show, which we’ll write up for y’all soon. It was the kind of wild that makes our “Margarita Mayhem” match look like a Sunday picnic. The puppet master behind all this (you know, the silly drunk guy who runs this thing in real life) got PARTICULARLY tipsy, and honey, the ideas that flowed from his beer-fueled brain were... well, let’s just say “wild” doesn’t even begin to cover it. Is there such a thing as a match that’s too wild? Maybe, but who cares? Trust me, you won’t want to miss this one. It’ll make your head spin—in the best way possible! Jimi’s ‘Creative’ Idea: Priscilla Kelly & The Pet Rock Oh, Priscilla Kelly. The poor girl didn’t know what hit her when Jimi came up with his 'brilliant' idea after downing a dozen beers. She’d got her whole fierce, established gimmick, which brought her success and fans all over the globe, but Jimi, in his infinite wisdom, decided to toss that out the window. Why? Because he thought it’d be 'hilarious' to have her worship a pet rock instead. Yes, a rock. Now we’ve got a seriously grumpy Priscilla on our hands, and to make things worse, she lost at show two (against her will, of course). Now she’s walking around with a serious case of the morbs. Some people just can’t handle the KAPW heat, darling. Jimi’s ‘Creative’ Genius Strikes Again: The Alan Angels Makeover Oh honey, brace yourselves, because when Jimi Venezuela gets hit with a 'creative' idea, it’s a whole experience. So, let me spill the latest tea. Apparently, Jimi woke up one morning, margarita hangover in full effect, and decided that Alan Angels’ gimmick—whatever it was before—just wasn’t cutting it. Now, was this an act of brilliant wrestling booking or just tequila-fueled madness? The jury’s still out, darling. But here’s the real kicker: Jimi didn’t just tweak Alan’s gimmick. Oh no, he went 'full makeover' mode. And now, we have our #1 contender walking into Show 4 with a brand-new vibe. Introducing: Alan ‘Hells’ Angels! Yes, you heard that right. Is it bold? Is it absurd? Is it fabulous? Honestly, it might be all three! Now, whether Alan will ride this new persona straight to fame and KAPW glory, or crash and burn like our girl Priscilla Kelly with her rock-worshipping fiasco, remains to be seen. One thing’s for sure—Show 4 is going to give you a look at this new Alan Angels, and honey, you do NOT want to miss it. So, keep your eyes glued, darlings. Will ‘Hells’ Angels soar to the top or throw a tantrum bigger than Priscilla’s latest meltdown? Only time (and maybe a few more margaritas) will tell! Stay tuned, because the drama is just heating up! 💋 The AI Strikes Again: New Faces (and Jobbers) Galore Our trusty AI behind TEW IX decided that our roster was a little too bare-bones. Apparently, we needed a bunch more signings, or we’d look “unprofessional.” So, in true KAPW fashion, we’ve got a whole parade of new names auditioning in the pre-show, all thanks to you, the Grand Poobah AI. Who’s making the cut? Well, keep your eyes peeled for some fresh meat—er, I mean 'new faces'—soon! But oh, you thought we were gonna hire top-tier veterans to help these rookies out? Please. They were way too expensive, so we brought in The Blue Meanie instead. He’s been working his little heart out, jobbing left and right to make our local stars shine. And guess what? The Honky Tonk Man—yes, THAT one—keeps showing up, begging to join the fun! The man’s supposed to be retired, but bless his heart, he just can’t quit us. So fine, Honky Tonk Man, come on in! You’re more than welcome to job to our rookies like everyone else. Fox Gets All Foxy Oh honey, buckle up, because do I have some tea to spill about AR Fox, the supposed star of our show! The man’s been flying high, flipping around like a superhuman, making jaws drop—and apparently, dropping the ball when it comes to communication. Turns out, our beloved AR Fox, in all his glory, conveniently “forgot” to mention that he’s also moonlighting over at AEW with those LOSERS. You heard me—forgot! So there we were, planning our big tournament finale, and at the last minute, Fox comes waltzing in like, “Oh yeah, I’m booked with AEW on Friday.” I mean, darling, we had to rearrange the entire damn show! And let me tell you, when Jimi Venezuela had to move our whole event from Friday to Saturday to accommodate Fox’s double-dipping, there was chaos. But fortunately for us, the fine, beer-loving fans at the Clermont Lounge were more than happy to make it a two-night bender. I mean, honestly, who wouldn’t want an excuse to drink at the Clermont two nights in a row? So, we dodged that bullet. But darling, let’s be real—you’ve read the tournament finale. You know that without AR Fox flipping around like a human highlight reel, it just wouldn’t have had the same sparkle. It all worked out, sure, but that doesn’t mean we’re not keeping a close eye on AEW. Let’s just say AEW is turning into a massive thorn in our side, honey. They think they can steal our talent, mess with our bookings, and waltz away like nothing happened? Oh no, sweetie. We see you, AEW. We see you loud and clear. But don’t worry, KAPW fans—we’ve got plenty more tricks up our sleeves. Stay tuned, because this saga is far from over, and we’re not letting any big corporate machine steal our thunder! #StayPetty, KAPW✌️ Darling, it’s chaos, it’s messy, it’s KAPW—what more could you want?! Edited September 9 by dstephe4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted September 10 Author Share Posted September 10 (edited) For all his wild, zany publicity stunts, KAPW's 'man with the plan' Jimi Venezuela has managed to put a grant total of 12 extra asses in seats. So instead of pulling some shameless self-promotion out of our arses every week, the sassy AI and I decided some world-building would work better instead. So from now on, between each show, we will show you a little more of the murky underbelly of Kick Ass Pro Wrestling, starting with something gloriously silly and noisy... Alright, my fabulous KAPW devotees, let’s continue to peel back the curtain and take a peek behind the scenes of this glorious mess we call Kick Ass Pro Wrestling! In this first of many spotlights, we’re diving headfirst into one of the most iconic pieces of the KAPW puzzle: the loud, in-your-face, can’t-get-it-out-of-your-head theme tune that blares through the speakers at every show. Buckle up, because this story is as wild as the shows themselves, darling! A Spotlight On: Whiskey River Backdraft - The Legendary Saga of Atlanta’s Rowdiest Rockers In the heart of Atlanta, Georgia, a city known for its Southern charm and fiery spirit, there once blazed a band so potent, so wild, that their music felt like a shot of pure adrenaline chased with a stiff drink of chaos. This was Whiskey River Backdraft—an urgent blend of macho rock and power metal that hit you like a freight train and left you thirsting for more. They were the band that dared to combine the swagger of Aerosmith with a raw, unfiltered grit that could make your hair stand on end. Their sound was a pulsating juggernaut of heavy riffs, soaring vocals, and basslines so deep they could rattle your very soul. Imagine Bon Jovi with balls, and you’re getting close—but Whiskey River Backdraft was more than just macho rock gods. They were an experience, a sonic whirlwind that made you feel like you could take on the world—or at least throw back another whiskey. Click here to hear this rather... special song. Their brief but explosive career rocketed to international fame with the release of their one mega-hit, Margarita Mofo. It was an anthem of wild nights and reckless abandon, a song so catchy that it was banned in several countries for inciting spontaneous parties wherever it was played. The chorus—“Margarita MOFO, got me goin’ loco, head spinning, senses in a choke-hold. Margarita Mofo, wife is shouting ‘oh no,’ got so drunk I once crapped out a golf ball!”—became the rallying cry for a generation of rock fans. It was a song that burned itself into the collective memory of anyone who heard it, just like the band that created it. But with great power chords came even greater calamity. Whiskey River Backdraft’s fame was as intense and short-lived as a shot of 151 proof rum. Their rise was meteoric, and their fall, well, let’s just say it was one for the history books—each member meeting their end in a way that was as ridiculous as it was legendary. Here’s how each of these rock ‘n’ roll titans met their doom, leaving behind a legacy that Atlanta still reveres (and laughs about) to this day: "Buzzsaw" Bobby McGraw (Lead Guitar) With fingers faster than a caffeinated squirrel and a guitar that screamed as loud as he did, "Buzzsaw" Bobby McGraw was the heart and soul of Whiskey River Backdraft. He was known for his blistering solos and his love for extreme challenges—like the time he tried to outplay a hurricane during a beachside gig in Florida. But it was during the infamous "Chainsaw Chainsaw Showdown" at the Georgia State Fair that Bobby met his end. Attempting to carve a guitar out of a live oak tree while shredding a solo, he tragically misjudged the integrity of the tree (and his chainsaw skills). The resulting spectacle of flying wood chips and screaming fans left Bobby a legend, even as his chainsaw jammed and his solo came to a splintered end. Today, fans can visit the exact spot where Bobby’s chainsaw stalled—a sacred site for those who worship the wood and the riff. Paddy "Foghorn" O’Malley (Vocals) With a voice that could shatter glass and possibly bend steel, Paddy O’Malley’s pipes were the stuff of rock legend. His vocal range was said to be so powerful that it once caused a minor earthquake during a particularly intense rendition of 'Free Bird'. But Paddy’s love for a challenge led him to take on Mother Nature herself during a freak tornado that swept through Atlanta. Determined to out-sing the storm, Paddy belted out the chorus to Margarita Mofo as the twister approached. Witnesses say that his final note was so piercing, it caused the tornado to hesitate—before it promptly changed course and swallowed him whole. In his honor, Atlanta holds an annual "Sing-Off with the Storm," where local vocalists try (and fail) to replicate Paddy’s legendary battle cry. "Two-Stroke" Tommy Tucker (Drums) The heartbeat of the band, "Two-Stroke" Tommy Tucker was a drumming dynamo with a penchant for pyrotechnics. Known for his fiery performances—literally—Tommy once set his entire drum kit ablaze on stage and kept playing until the fire department intervened. His love for fire was also his undoing. During a particularly daring stunt at the NASCAR finals, Tommy attempted to drum his way out of a speeding car that had been set alight for dramatic effect. The car didn’t make it around the final turn, but Tommy’s rhythm did, echoing through the smoky wreckage long after the flames had died. The annual "Burning Drum" festival is now a tribute to Tommy’s fiery spirit, where drummers gather to set their kits on fire (safely, of course) in his memory. "Slinky" Sandy DuBois (Bass) Slinky Sandy DuBois was the backbone of Whiskey River Backdraft, his basslines slithering through the band’s sound like a serpent through tall grass. Sandy was a master of groove, known for his mesmerizing stage presence and a penchant for daredevil antics. His final act of rebellion was a tightrope walk across the Chattahoochee River, bass in hand, determined to play his signature solo mid-air. A sudden gust of wind, a rogue pigeon, and a poorly timed bass drop sent him plunging into the waters below, his last notes fading into the breeze. The town now celebrates his fearless spirit with the "Slinky Walk," a parade across the town’s main bridge where fans play Sandy’s favorite bass riffs, hoping to capture just a bit of his magic. "Rusty" Ray Johnson (Rhythm Guitar) The glue that held Whiskey River Backdraft together, "Rusty" Ray Johnson was a rhythm guitarist with a heart of gold and a liver of steel. Ray’s rhythms were the foundation of the band’s sound, a steadying force in the storm of their high-octane performances. Ray’s end came during an ill-fated attempt to combine his love of music with his passion for daredevil stunts. Deciding that his guitar solos needed a visual edge, he attempted to perform while strapped to a malfunctioning jetpack. The spectacle ended with Ray soaring into the rafters of a packed concert hall before crash-landing in a spectacular explosion of sparks and shredded wood. Today, fans honor his memory with the "Rusty Ray Air Guitar Challenge," where contestants attempt to recreate his legendary riffs while wearing absurdly impractical outfits—jetpacks strictly forbidden. Yet, amidst the madness and mayhem, one figure survived the chaos unscathed—or as unscathed as a man like him could be. The only survivor of the Whiskey River Backdraft saga was their enigmatic roadie, a mysterious, charismatic, borderline insane, boozy, and rather unhygienic individual known only as Jimi Venezuela. Though it’s obvious that wasn’t his real name, history has long since forgotten what it actually was. Jimi, the man who could fix an amp with a hangover and a roll of duct tape, continued to roam the backroads of America, eventually becoming a legendary fixture in Atlanta’s seediest, nastiest night spots. For decades, Jimi was a bar rat of mythical proportions—a living raconteur of the days when partying wasn’t just an activity, but a religion. In the smoke-filled dives and dingy basements of Atlanta, he spun tales of the band that once reigned supreme, painting vivid pictures of a time when rock ‘n’ roll was wild, unrestrained, and as dangerous as the men and women who played it. Jimi drank in every den of iniquity the city had to offer, though he had a particular fondness for the Clermont Lounge, where he was as much a fixture as the faded vinyl stools. But the madness didn’t end with music. After decades of hard living and harder partying, Jimi found himself inexplicably drawn into the world of professional wrestling. Using his questionable charisma and love for all things chaotic, he started his own underground wrestling promotion in the diviest of dive bars—a fed so infamous and seedy that nobody can seem to remember its name. There, in a haze of sweat, blood, and whiskey, Jimi found a new way to keep the spirit of Whiskey River Backdraft alive, making sure that the legacy of Atlanta’s wildest band would never fade away. So, if you ever find yourself in a dimly lit, smoke-filled bar in Atlanta, and you hear the faint strains of Margarita Mofo playing in the background, keep an ear out for an ageing lounge lizard with a raspy voice, a terrible Hawaiian shirt and a thousand stories. You might just be in the presence of Jimi Venezuela, the last living link to a time when rock ‘n’ roll, wrestling, and partying were more than just pastimes—they were a way of life. Click here to hear this rather... special song. Edited September 10 by dstephe4 The Grand Poobah mis-gendered one of the band, so I fixed it. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted Friday at 02:26 PM Author Share Posted Friday at 02:26 PM (edited) KAPW's World Tour Of Atlanta, Part 1: The MJQ Concourse (aka Predictions make prizes this time around) Hold onto your wigs, ladies and gentlemen, because KAPW Show #4 is about to drop harder than a mic at a rap battle! It’s time for that extra sizzle, that spicy drama, and the wildest wrestling matches Atlanta has ever seen. Jimi Venezuela promised we’re going bigger, wilder, and crazier—and honey, he does NOT lie. The (Not So) Grand Coronation of Our New Champion AR Fox Yes, darlings, the champ is here. AR Fox is going to strut around like the star of this sketchy wrestling galaxy, and Jimi’s got something "special" planned. Expect it to be the most delightfully budget coronation in wrestling history. I mean, we’re talking about a crown that’s probably from Party City and a throne that might just be a barstool from the Clermont Lounge. But Fox will be there, shining like the king he is… for now. But don’t get too comfortable, because the rest of the night’s roster is gunning for him. Aaron Draven vs Fred Yehi Honey, let’s talk drama. Poor Aaron Draven just couldn’t catch a break. The good people of Atlanta have decided that this boy’s sin is simply not being from Atlanta. A cardinal sin apparently! Boo all you want, but Draven is ready to shut up those haters in the most savage way possible. But let’s not forget Fred Yehi, who’s still licking his wounds from losing to AR Fox in the final of the Pro Wrestling Classic. He’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of Atlanta’s skyline, and with Fox lurking around ringside, this match has the kind of messiness we live for. Will the sky-high flying Draven take out Yehi? Or will Yehi’s technical wizardry leave Draven tapping like an out-of-towner trying to order sweet tea in New York? Buckle up, boo. It’s going to be one for the books. Dani Jordyn vs Priscilla Kelly (with her sort-of buddy Cyrus The Destroyer) Listen, we have no idea what’s going to happen here—and neither do the competitors. Dani “Mean Girl” Jordyn is bringing her Burn Book and all the sass she can muster, but she’s about to meet Priscilla Kelly, who’s got a pet rock, a grudge, and a hulking sidekick in the form of Cyrus the Destroyer. The vibes? Chaotic. The energy? Unpredictable. And you better believe that with Rocky the Rock and Cyrus in the mix, this match is going to be a hot mess express that we just can’t wait to watch unfold. A Big Update on Sugar Dunkerton Let’s all pour one out for our beloved *Sugar Dunkerton*. His jaw? Broken. His comeback? A whole year away! Apparently, getting your jaw broken in a KAPW ring means you’re out of action longer than a TLC reality star after a bad relationship. Poor baby won’t be back for a while, but trust us, his spirit lives on in all the mayhem and madness of KAPW. Baron Black vs Joe Black vs AC Mack vs Kiera Hogan - in a WILD, Secret Stipulation Match! Yes, you read that right. FOUR wrestlers, ONE match, and a stipulation so WILD, so RIDICULOUS, that we can’t even tell you what it is. That’s right—it’s a secret! But we’re throwing around the word WILD because that’s what it is. Like, we’re talking a match type that has NEVER been seen in the history of wrestling. It’s so wild, your head’s going to spin. And knowing Jimi? You won’t know whether to laugh, cry, or grab a drink. Will Baron Black outlast Joe Black? Can Kiera Hogan turn up the heat? Will AC Mack keep running his mouth while dodging left and right? Tune in, babes, because this will be the definition of WILD. AR Fox vs Alan ‘Hells’ Angels – for the KAPW World Title! Our shiny, resplendent champion AR Fox will put that 'gorgeous' KAPW belt on the line in our main event against Alan ‘Hells’ Angels, who is rocking a whole new vibe, baby! This man has gone full biker realness—leather, chains, and all. The question is, can Alan stay focused after his insane Margarita Mayhem match last time? Or is Fred Yehi going to stick his nose in again and make this showdown messier than a Waffle House at 3 a.m.? The stakes couldn’t be higher—this is Fox’s maiden defense, and honey, Alan’s riding into town on a Harley with a whole lot of ambition. So what are you waiting for, dolls? Post your predictions below! 📣 Can you guess who’s winning each match? Bonus points if you can figure out the stipulation for that WILD 4-way match! If you get the most predictions right, Jimi Venezuela himself will let you book a dream match for Show #6! Any competitors. Any stipulation. Anything your heart desires. Let the chaos commence! 💥 Predictions Format (You awesome readers know what to do...) Go get that predictions prize! Aaron Draven vs Fred Yehi Dani Jordyn vs Priscilla Kelly (with her sort-of buddy Cyrus The Destroyer) Top Secret Stipulation!!: Baron Black, Joe Black, AC Mack, and Kiera Hogan KAPW World Title – AR Fox vs. Alan 'Hells' Angels Edited Friday at 05:55 PM by dstephe4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Phoenix Posted Friday at 08:26 PM Share Posted Friday at 08:26 PM 5 hours ago, dstephe4 said: KAPW's World Tour Of Atlanta, Part 1: The MJQ Concourse (aka Predictions make prizes this time around) Hold onto your wigs, ladies and gentlemen, because KAPW Show #4 is about to drop harder than a mic at a rap battle! It’s time for that extra sizzle, that spicy drama, and the wildest wrestling matches Atlanta has ever seen. Jimi Venezuela promised we’re going bigger, wilder, and crazier—and honey, he does NOT lie. The (Not So) Grand Coronation of Our New Champion AR Fox Yes, darlings, the champ is here. AR Fox is going to strut around like the star of this sketchy wrestling galaxy, and Jimi’s got something "special" planned. Expect it to be the most delightfully budget coronation in wrestling history. I mean, we’re talking about a crown that’s probably from Party City and a throne that might just be a barstool from the Clermont Lounge. But Fox will be there, shining like the king he is… for now. But don’t get too comfortable, because the rest of the night’s roster is gunning for him. Aaron Draven vs Fred Yehi Honey, let’s talk drama. Poor Aaron Draven just couldn’t catch a break. The good people of Atlanta have decided that this boy’s sin is simply not being from Atlanta. A cardinal sin apparently! Boo all you want, but Draven is ready to shut up those haters in the most savage way possible. But let’s not forget Fred Yehi, who’s still licking his wounds from losing to AR Fox in the final of the Pro Wrestling Classic. He’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of Atlanta’s skyline, and with Fox lurking around ringside, this match has the kind of messiness we live for. Will the sky-high flying Draven take out Yehi? Or will Yehi’s technical wizardry leave Draven tapping like an out-of-towner trying to order sweet tea in New York? Buckle up, boo. It’s going to be one for the books. Dani Jordyn vs Priscilla Kelly (with her sort-of buddy Cyrus The Destroyer) Listen, we have no idea what’s going to happen here—and neither do the competitors. Dani “Mean Girl” Jordyn is bringing her Burn Book and all the sass she can muster, but she’s about to meet Priscilla Kelly, who’s got a pet rock, a grudge, and a hulking sidekick in the form of Cyrus the Destroyer. The vibes? Chaotic. The energy? Unpredictable. And you better believe that with Rocky the Rock and Cyrus in the mix, this match is going to be a hot mess express that we just can’t wait to watch unfold. A Big Update on Sugar Dunkerton Let’s all pour one out for our beloved *Sugar Dunkerton*. His jaw? Broken. His comeback? A whole year away! Apparently, getting your jaw broken in a KAPW ring means you’re out of action longer than a TLC reality star after a bad relationship. Poor baby won’t be back for a while, but trust us, his spirit lives on in all the mayhem and madness of KAPW. Baron Black vs Joe Black vs AC Mack vs Kiera Hogan - in a WILD, Secret Stipulation Match! Yes, you read that right. FOUR wrestlers, ONE match, and a stipulation so WILD, so RIDICULOUS, that we can’t even tell you what it is. That’s right—it’s a secret! But we’re throwing around the word WILD because that’s what it is. Like, we’re talking a match type that has NEVER been seen in the history of wrestling. It’s so wild, your head’s going to spin. And knowing Jimi? You won’t know whether to laugh, cry, or grab a drink. Will Baron Black outlast Joe Black? Can Kiera Hogan turn up the heat? Will AC Mack keep running his mouth while dodging left and right? Tune in, babes, because this will be the definition of WILD. AR Fox vs Alan ‘Hells’ Angels – for the KAPW World Title! Our shiny, resplendent champion AR Fox will put that 'gorgeous' KAPW belt on the line in our main event against Alan ‘Hells’ Angels, who is rocking a whole new vibe, baby! This man has gone full biker realness—leather, chains, and all. The question is, can Alan stay focused after his insane Margarita Mayhem match last time? Or is Fred Yehi going to stick his nose in again and make this showdown messier than a Waffle House at 3 a.m.? The stakes couldn’t be higher—this is Fox’s maiden defense, and honey, Alan’s riding into town on a Harley with a whole lot of ambition. So what are you waiting for, dolls? Post your predictions below! 📣 Can you guess who’s winning each match? Bonus points if you can figure out the stipulation for that WILD 4-way match! If you get the most predictions right, Jimi Venezuela himself will let you book a dream match for Show #6! Any competitors. Any stipulation. Anything your heart desires. Let the chaos commence! 💥 Predictions Format (You awesome readers know what to do...) Go get that predictions prize! Aaron Draven vs Fred Yehi Dani Jordyn vs Priscilla Kelly (with her sort-of buddy Cyrus The Destroyer) Top Secret Stipulation!!: Baron Black, Joe Black, AC Mack, and Kiera Hogan KAPW World Title – AR Fox vs. Alan 'Hells' Angels Aaron Draven Priscilla Kelly. Dani is distracted by Cyrus trying to use Rocky to write in the Burn Book and ripping through the pages. Wild Whiskey Windmill match - there's a windmill type structure in the middle of the ring, Sassy Mama attaches a bottle to each blade containing whiskey of various ridiculously high strengths, but one is just coloured water. Nobody can win until all bottles are retrieved. Once a participant retrieves a bottle they must drink the contents. AC Mack passes out, Kiera Hogan walks off in a huff as she obtained the water, Baron Black gets too confident, Joe Black handles his drink the best and manages to take advantage of Baron Black's ego and wins the match. AR Fox after Alan gets tangled up in the chains of his fancy new jacket. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DinoKea Posted Friday at 11:22 PM Share Posted Friday at 11:22 PM KAPW #5 Predictions Fred Yehi def. Aaron Draven Priscilla Kelly def. Dani Jordyn Top Secret Stipulation!!: Baron Black def. Joe Black, AC Mack & Kiera Hogan KAPW World Title: AR Fox (c) def. Alan "Hells" Angels 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstephe4 Posted Saturday at 07:57 AM Author Share Posted Saturday at 07:57 AM (edited) 11 hours ago, Jason Phoenix said: Wild Whiskey Windmill match - there's a windmill type structure in the middle of the ring, Sassy Mama attaches a bottle to each blade containing whiskey of various ridiculously high strengths, but one is just coloured water. Nobody can win until all bottles are retrieved. Once a participant retrieves a bottle they must drink the contents. AC Mack passes out, Kiera Hogan walks off in a huff as she obtained the water, Baron Black gets too confident, Joe Black handles his drink the best and manages to take advantage of Baron Black's ego and wins the match. I really like that idea, sounds like fun. I think you and the AI would get along nicely. Alas, however, it is not up to me. I'm not the boss here - the Grand Poobah is in charge... A question for the Sassy Mama Grand Poobah. A reader has suggested the 'Wild Whiskey Windmill' match above. Forgetting the competitors, do you like the match stipulation? Would it go down well with Kick Ass Pro Wrestling's fans? And would Jimi be able to afford three bottles of high strength liquor to make it happen? Oh honey, Sassy Mama Grand Poobah is living for this suggestion! Let me tell you, this is exactly the kind of off-the-wall chaos that would have KAPW fans howling for more, stumbling around the bar with a whiskey-soaked grin. A Wild Whiskey Windmill Match? Oh, that’s got KAPW written all over it, darling! Picture it: a windmill of debauchery spinning right in the middle of the ring, each blade holding a bottle of pure liquid courage. The fans would be salivating for it. And the fact that one of those bottles is just colored water? Oh, the drama! The betrayal! Watching those poor wrestlers gamble their fate on a sip, only to see Kiera Hogan throw a diva tantrum when she gets the dud bottle? That's pure entertainment right there. Would it go down well with the fans? Oh, baby, it would blow their minds! KAPW fans love unpredictability, and nothing says unpredictable like mixing alcohol, wrestling, and ego in one glorious, ridiculous match. The crowd would be on their feet, drinks in hand, living for the chaos as bodies hit the mat and bottles hit the lips. Now, as for Jimi’s budget... three bottles of high-strength whiskey? Girl, you’re asking a lot from ol’ Jimi’s margarita fund. Let’s be real, he’d probably have to pawn off half his thrift-store wardrobe to make it happen. But would he do it? Absolutely. He’s already drowning in creative debt at this point, so what's a few bottles of whiskey to add to the tab? This match would go down in KAPW history as the most ridiculous, booze-fueled spectacle to ever grace the squared circle. So, honey, the Sassy Mama stamp of approval is firmly on this one. Let’s make it happen. Bottoms up! 🍾 I'm not sure if I'm a fan of the Sassy Mama AI calling me 'girl' now, but it's worth it to get responses like this. Looks like the 'Wild Whiskey Windmill' match is a go-er... but not for this show. A fantastic suggestion, well done. I'm more than happy to let the readers shape this diary as much as the AI. If anyone else gets any wild and wonderful ideas, go ahead and post them. If the Grand Poobah likes them, they go in. That's a new official thing here from now on! Edited Saturday at 07:58 AM by dstephe4 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyTeran Posted Saturday at 03:29 PM Share Posted Saturday at 03:29 PM Aaron Draven vs Fred Yehi Dani Jordyn vs Priscilla Kelly (with her sort-of buddy Cyrus The Destroyer) Top Secret Stipulation!!: Baron Black, Joe Black, AC Mack, and Kiera Hogan KAPW World Title – AR Fox vs. Alan 'Hells' Angels 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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