WCW: Slapnuts

[Lord Byron]

My picks: Billy Kidman, Curt Henning, Stacy Keibler, Yoshihiro Tajiri, Mike Awesome, Chris Kanyon, and Chavo's challenger will be Chris Daniels, who will beat Chavo...

[Jason Phoenix]

10 hours ago, The Ace Ranger said:

So, for this next show. I'm gonna start doing match predictions. Expect cards for all TV shows and PPV events.

Next Week on Saturday Nitro

US Title Semi-Finals: Lance Storm v. Billy Kidman
AJ Styles v. Curt Hennig
Chavo Guerrero Jr makes an open challenge
Stacy Keibler v. Malia Hosaka
Yoshihiro Tajiri v. Kid Kash
Mike Awesome v. Hugh Morrus
US Title Semi-Finals: Chris Kanyon v. Rob Van Dam
Bonus question: Who will Chavo's challenger be?

 

Lance Storm

Curt Hennig

Mike Sanders

Malia Hosaka

Yoshihiro Tajiri

Hugh Morrus

Chris Kanyon

Mike Sanders (mad at their loss to The Road Warriors)

[The Ace Ranger]

WCW Saturday Nitro – May 26, 2001
Commentary: Tony Schiavone/Scott Hudson/Jerry “The King” Lawler
Location: Huntington Civic Arena (Huntington, WV); 5,979 attendance

 

Pre-Show
- Romeo/Skipper beat LeRoux/Flair (7:53, 42)
- Jazz beat Torrie Wilson (4:27, 18)
- Jung Dragons beat Jett/Bull (7:23, 48)

“Welcome to Saturday Nitro, Live from the Huntington Civic Arena” Tony Schiavone said as the pyro went off. Commentary discussed the matches we’ll see tonight including the semi-finals of the United States championship tournament and the debut of new face, Yoshihiro Tajiri. “That’s right Tony, and what’s more Chavo Guerrero Jr. is gonna set an open challenge for tonight.” Jerry said excitedly. “Also, the Tag Team champions will pick their challengers for their belts at Big Bang” Hudson said.

The crowd cheered when Booker T’s music played and he proceeded to open the night with a promo. “Welcome to Saturday Nitro, sucka! So tomorrow marks the 1^st PPV of the new WCW: Big Bang. It’s there that I’ll fight Buff Bagwell for the WCW World Heavyweight championship. Let’s make things clear: Buff is a good wrestler, there’s a reason he is a 5-time tag-team champion. That’s the thing though, tag team, not singles.” He points to the Big Gold Belt, “This sure as hell won’t be your first, cause you’re an arrogant douchebag, and that’ll only get you so far” He talked about his journey from prison to entering the wrestling industry and going from strength to strength. “My life kept me humble, and no matter how big I get, now matter how many achievements I made, I don’t let ego consume me and neither should you. Tomorrow, I don’t want to see Buff, I want to see Marcus Alexander Bagwell, I want the athletic spirit, that I saw when I first entered a WCW ring. Because Buff won’t defeat me. Now can you dig that, sucka?!!”
Rating: 98

  

Lance Storm v. Billy Kidman
As the only cruiserweight in this tournament, Billy Kidman had much to prove and so went full force when the bell rang. He hit a facebuster onto Storm, only for him to kick out at one. What followed was a back-and-forth match pitting Storm’s technical wizardry against Kidman’s high spots. 5 minutes in, when Storm put Kidman in a Sharpshooter, Kidman moved to the ropes to force a rope break, and followed it with mat work of his own. Eventually, as Kidman set himself up for the Shooting Star Press, Curt Hennig entered the ring and hit a low-blow on him, knocking him off the top rope, behind referee Mickie Jay’s back. Lance responded by putting the Canadian Maple Leaf on Billy, who tapped out to boos from the crowd.
Winner: Lance Storm; Time: 7:04; Rating: 66

Storm bolted out of the ring, as Hennig continued his assault on Kidman. Eventually, Kidman found an opening to escape with Torrie Wilson. before taking a mic and talking to Hennig at the ramp. “Curt, you want you’re rematch so badly? Well you got it! I’ll see you at Big Bang, and this time; I’ll beat you fair and square.” The crowd got hyped, as did commentary. “Billy Kidman vs. Curt Hennig is happening at Big Bang, what a match.” Tony Schiavone exclaimed. Hennig looked smug, happy to get revenge on Kidman, as well as preparing himself for the next match.
Rating: 44

  

AJ Styles v. Curt Hennig
“Touched” by VAST plays as AJ Styles enters with Air Paris standing by for support. Styles did get hits on Hennig with his stunt-like high flying moves, but this was short-lived. Hennig’s technical wizardry grounded Styles early on, and that momentum stayed for the rest of the match. Hennig won with the Fisherman’s Suplex, gaining some momentum for his rematch with Kidman.
Winner: Curt Hennig; Time: 3:50; Rating: 50

After the break, we fade to Chavo Guerrero Jr. entering the ring with a microphone in hand, ready to make an announcement of sorts. “Last week, I was destroyed and humiliated by a tag team legends. But here’s the thing about legends, they get old. And you people cheered like you still think this is the 80s. Newsflash, Mad Max stopped being cool with Thunderdome. The only reason I lost was because I wasn’t expecting them and I blame Mike Sanders for dragging me into this, but this time, it’s all Chavo. So I’m gonna make an open challenge of my own, you wanna step in the ring with wrestling royalty, go right ahead.” He dropped the mic and waited for an opponent that he hoped was a pushover. Then a familiar guitar sound hit the arena…
Rating: 44

 

HE’S AME-EH-EH-ERICAN MA-AH-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!

Both commentary and crowd alike erupted in shock. “This isn’t happening, isn’t it?” Lawler exclaimed. “It can’t be” Schaivone said. Chavo stood stunned. Everyone waited an awe for the arrival of…

“That is not Hulk Hogan” Schiavone deadpan stated. ”That’s right, Schiavone, looks more like some fan doing cosplay.” Hudson clarified. “Oh yeah, I forgot. Isn’t the real Hulkster still with Bugs Bunny or something?” Lawler asked. The crowd’s enthusiasm crashed hard, and Chavo just laughed in everyone’s faces with the look of “This is gonna be a piece of cake.”

  

Chavo Guerrero Jr. v. "Hulk Hogan"
Sure enough, it was. Chavo mopped the floor with the impostor Hulkster. Whoever he was, his impersonation was spot-on, however. Case in point, after he kicked out, he did his own “Hulk-Up” moment, which Chavo decided to play along with. It was a dead ringer for Hogan’s old shtick, until we got to the “YOU!”, when Chavo had enough and pinned him for the win. The crowd didn’t care about what they saw.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero Jr.; Time: 1:45; Rating: 34

As “Hulk Hogan” exited the ring, Schiavone stormed up the ramp to get to the bottom of this. “Excuse me mister, what are you doing here and why are you impersonating Hulk Hogan” “Hogan” spoke, “Well, let me tell you somethin’, Mean Gene-” “It’s Tony, Tony Schiavo-” “Well, let me tell you somethin’, Schiavone” “First of all, my name is the Funkster, brother. You see, all these Funkamaniacs might remember me as Kwee Wee.” “Wait, that’s Kwee Wee?” Hudson questioned. Funkster kept explaining “You see, when I thought WCW went under brother, I was devastated. I took solace in watching old tapes of the Hulkster, and I was inspired. He was one of my heroes, and in my darkest time of need, brother, I decided to become the Hulkster. I ate my vitamins, prayed, and worked out these pythons. I got into the best shape of my life. Brother. Next thing you know, Kwee Wee died, Angry Allan too, and out burst the Funkster, brother. Now that the WCW is back, under new management, I took my chances and now I’m back. I might have lost this bout brother, but one day, I’ll be on top of the world, just like my idol. So tell me, Tony. What ‘cha gonna do, when Funkamania runs wild on you, brother?!” Funkster then tore off his shirt to reveal his physique, posed to the crowd, and walked backstage. Tony just stood in disbelief. “I’ve got nothing, I guess that’s the Funkster ladies and gentlemen.”
Rating: 39

Scott Hudson then talked about the premiere of 3-Count’s new music video. We cut to that video in which Moore and Karagias sing a pop song mocking their former teammate, “Sugar” Shane Helms. They sing about how they’ll take the cruiserweight title off of him and ridicule everything about him from his finisher to his attitude.
Rating: 27

The Tag Team champions hang out backstage, when Paul Ellering and the Road Warriors show up to talk to them. “So you’re the champions, huh?” Ellering questioned. “Yeah. It’s an honor to meet you, Paul” Chuck said putting his hand out to shake, which Ellering accepted. Hawk then spoke, “Let’s make one thing clear, don’t underestimate us, we still have some guts left.” “I wouldn't have it any other way” Palumbo responded “Look, oldtimers, we held these titles for so long, the competition here is weak, and that includes you.” Sean said, with Palumbo covering O’Haire’s mouth to shut him up. Animal retorted, “Yeah, we’ll see about that tomorrow. Good luck.” The Road Warriors left with Palumbo disappointed at O’Haire’s attitude.
Rating: 44

  

Stacy Keibler v. Malia Hosaka
Keibler entered with her stable-mates behind her. While Lawler was being Lawler. Schaivone groaned as it was obvious Daffney and Jazz were there to cheat on Keibler’s behalf. It was clear why as Hosaka wrestled circles around Stacy. As this was Hosaka’s first televised singles bout in a WCW ring in 5 years, it gave the audience at home a good look at her skills, even if the crowd has very little interest. Hosaka almost won when she hit a Huracanrana. However, a referee distraction from Daffney and interference from Jazz put an end to the match, to Hudson and Schaivone’s disdain, and the crowd’s disinterest.
Winner: Stacy Keibler; Time: 2:57; Rating: 23

The Queens proceeded to beatdown Hosaka all at once. Their assault was interrupted by Chigusa Nagayo and Meiko Satomura who saved her. Everyone brawled in and out of the ring, with the good guys standing tall as officials pulled them apart. This included Commissioner Piper, who had enough. “You ladies wanna fight; well ya got it! At Big Bang, there’ll be a six-man tag bout, The Queens versus Nagayo, Satomura, and Hosaka.” The good guys celebrated as The Queens looked concerned.
Rating: 40

We fade to a video of Disco Inferno still dancing at the nightclub, even if most of the people have left. The owner then came to tell him it’s almost closing time. “Alright then, thanks man.” Disco said, as he continued dancing to the exit. The camera cuts to show that the nightclub was very close to the Charlotte Coliseum, the arena where Big Bang will take place. Disco then says “Tomorrow night, Disco comes back to the ring.”
Rating: 44

Hour 2 kicks off with a promo from Buff Bagwell, he walks to the ring to the crowd’s jeering and gets the mic. “So, Booker started this night by saying I’m an ‘arrogant douchebag’ and that I’ll never win the belt without some humility.” Buff laughed. “Booker, you don’t know a goddamn thing about me, I have the girlies. I have the stuff (Buff shows his muscles), and I have the guts to beat you and take your title. But don’t take my word for it folks, let’s hear from the man himself.”

Bagwell points to the JumboTron, where a video plays, showing a beaten Booker T in his locker room. “Oh wait, you can’t. I knocked him out” The crowd booed massively, as Tony exclaimed “You got to be kidding me.” “Go. Buff, Go!” Lawler cheered. “Tomorrow, you’re going to see a new World champion, and his name is Buff Bagwell.”
Rating: 63

Backstage, Arn Anderson interviews the Cruiserweight champion on his match tomorrow at Big Bang. Helms says “That trainwreck of a song 3-Count put together was why I left them behind. I’m above that boy band bullcrap, and at Big Bang, this will be the only time you posers will get anywhere close to this belt here.” Helms points to his title belt.
Rating: 44

While “Redneck” signaled Kid Kash’s entrance, Scott Hudson announced the sponsors, “Everyone, Big Bang is sponsored by ♫ YahoOoOoOoO!♫” “Nice tone, Hudson” Lawler said, sarcastically. Tony said, “Anyway, wanna search anything, look to the most popular search engine around. Also a good place to shop. Do you Yahoo?”

  

Yoshihiro Tajiri v. Kid Kash
While Kash was in the old WCW during it’s last gasp, Tajiri is an outright newcomer to the company. Hudson referenced his years of experience in Japan, Philadelphia and elsewhere, specifically emphasizing how Tajiri and Kash faced each other before in the Land of Extreme. Tony Schiavone got excited over the refresh of the Cruiserweight division. “Tajiri represents one of the goals of the new WCW. Bringing new faces to a big stage.” Both competitors quickly sized each other up, before Tajiri began striking Kid Kash all over. The match did contain spots to wow the crowd, both to furthur introduce Tajiri to WCW’s audience, and to hype them up for what would come later. Kash did kick out of a Buzzsaw Kick and briefly turned the tide with some high spots, including a frog splash. But Kash is no RVD, so Tajiri kicked out of that, brawled with him some more, then hit a Brainbuster to secure the victory.
Winner: Yoshihiro Tajiri; Time: 5:10; Rating: 32

As Tajiri celebrated his victory, Commentary gave an announcement for another match at Big Bang “These two competitors will be among 4 others in a Cruiserweight showcase tomorrow night at Big Bang” Tony said. As for the others, take a look.”

We then see a video for the members of this Cruiserweight showcase match. Alongside Tajiri and Kash, the match will also include Air Raid, “Primetime” Elix Skipper, and a mystery opponent. The people we do know, all give brief promos behind footage of their moves set to NOFX’s “All Outta Angst”.
Rating: 15

In Piper’s office, Mike Sanders barges in. “Hold it, Rod, there’s something wrong with that picture there. I see, I’m not on here.” Piper interrupted, “Mike, the Cruiserweight Showcase is about showcasing the newer members of the division, but all the slots are closed up.” Piper thought of a solution, “I got it, I could put you in a battle royal on the pre-show.” Sanders though about it. “Fine, you win this time Piper.”

Rating: 56

  

Mike Awesome v. Hugh Morrus

Put two brawlers in the squared circle, and expect a wild ride. That’s what people saw with this bout. Morrus blew off his anger from losing a shot at the US title on Awesome, who responded in kind. Awesome got the upper hand at first, jumping Morrus during his entrance and tearing him piece by piece when the bell rang, culminating when Awesome threw him over the top rope and performed a Suicide Dive on him, popping the crowd and commentary. Awesome’s momentum ended after one taunt too many to the crowd, when Hugh got up and hit Mike with some punches and suplexes. After Awesome kicked out of a Powerslam, he went what was hopefully the final blow, the No Laughing Matter, only to be interrupted by a familiar face entering from the crowd.

“Wait a minute, is that Carl Ouellet?” Schiavone questioned. Hudson responded “Yep.” “Who?” Lawler retorted. Schiavone then explained to the King who Carl Ouellet is and his relationship with Awesome and Team Canada for that matter. Ouellet’s distraction was enough for Awesome to recover and push him off the ring. Ouellet moved him back for Awesome to hit the Awesome Bomb and get the W.
Winner: Mike Awesome; Time: 6:16; Rating: 62

As Awesome and Ouellet shook hands, and the former complimented the latter on helping him out, Arn Anderson came down to get an interview with Ouellet. “Carl Ouellet, may I ask why you helped Mike Awesome here?” “First of all, it’s Pierre Carl Ouellet now, Arn.” he explained. “Second, a few days ago, Lance called me and told me WCW was back, and some guy told him to bring Team Canada back in full force. So I’m back, and ready to bring some Canadian glory to this company.” Awesome than spoke, “Glad to have you back, Carl. Soon, the United States title will be in in the hands of the best country in the world.” The crowd responded with chants of “CANADA SUCKS!” as Team Canada exited the ring.
Rating: 32

We cut to Roddy Piper’s office where DDP complains about Team Canada. “Someone’s gotta keep the US title finals fair and square” Piper responded “I know, so tell you what, you find a partner and at Big Bang, you’ll face Mike Awful and Pierre.” DDP thanked Piper only for the door to open, “Dallas, you got yourself a partner right here” a voice said.

The camera panned to reveal BG Armstrong, as the crowd popped.
Rating: 69

Chris Kanyon walks backstage cutting a promo on his opponent. “Rob Van Dam, I won’t lie. You did great last week. But now you’re dealing with me, and you don’t stand a chance. I have defeated many of the greatest men in this business, and soon, you’ll be among them. Then I’ll defeat Lance Storm and gain the first singles title in my career. Anyone who stands in my way, I will beat to a bloody pulp. This includes you, Rob. Not that you’d be in the state of mind to care.”
Rating: 57

  

Chris Kanyon v. Rob Van Dam
Tonight’s main event will set the stage for the finals of the United States Championship tournament. Moreover, before the bell rang, Lance Storm entered and pulled up a chair to watch at ringside. As such, Kanyon and RVD both went all out and they were, for the longest time, evenly matched. While things started slow with a lock-up, everything ramped up quickly. They eventually each kicked out of a signature move of theirs: RVD from a Kanyon Cutter; Kanyon from an Air Van Dam. The stalemate ended when Kanyon decided to brag toward Lance and RVD took advantage with a Split-Legged Moonsault. While Kanyon kicked out, the momentum was entirely centered on RVD from then on. RVD got the win through the Five-Star Frog Splash to the cheers of the crowd.
Winner: Rob Van Dam; Time: 9:55; Rating: 73

Lance got out of his seat and stared down his opponent. Van Dam followed suit as he did has trademark taunt. Storm muttered inaudibly that he will beat him and bring glory to his nation.
Rating: 66

Meanwhile, the commentary team ran down tomorrow’s match card. “We’d like to take a moment to run down what to expect tomorrow. But first, we again thank Fear Factory for their album Digimortal, featuring “Linchpin”, the official theme song for Big Bang, available wherever records are sold.” Hudson stated. “Right you are, Scott.” They then went down all known matches with some banter here and there. As Tony signs off, the final shot is of Lance and RVD continuing their staredown as the crowd was hyped.

 

Post-Show
- BG Armstrong beat Reno (7:13; 32)

Final Rating: 80
Broadcast Rating: 1,248 PPV Buys, 519,729 TV viewers.

Edited Tuesday at 07:05 PM by The Ace Ranger

[sonny912]

Good to have you back.