Astil Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Because I just can't stay away... [COLOR="Green"]"Mr. Avatar,"[/COLOR] I looked up from the card I had written on a napkin from Joey's Pizza and Pub. Preston Holt was standing right above me, looking at his watch. [COLOR="Green"]"Thirty minutes until curtain. Perhaps you should make a speech?"[/COLOR] I downed the scotch and shook my head a bit, not quite used to the burn. In that second I thought briefly about what 2007 was supposed to be. I had gotten the biggest break of my life, getting to go to Japan to run the book for 5SSW. They said they wanted a fresh new direction. I ran two highly rated shows, gave Destruction Inc. the tag title that they so obviously deserved, and set up Thunder Hike for title run 5 or 6. I forget. The important thing is, I was fired. Two shows into the biggest gig of my career, and Bye Bye Jack. Completely my fault, of course. I hadn't had a drink before I got to Japan. Went out to celebrate the big news of growing a size. Had a bit too much crappy Sake. Yuma Whatsherface and I went back to my office and cuddled for like...three hours. Very intense cuddling. Apparently that's grounds for termination. Yuma still has her All Asian title, little b*tch. Anyway, for about a week, I drank. After I drank I passed out. When I woke up, I ran to the packi for more drinks. Eventually Mama Avatar told me to get a job. Unlucky for me all I know how to do is book wrestling shows. Lucky for me, 5SSW paid me quite a bit to keep quiet. My firing was explained as a 'failed expiriment'. With that money I started Tree of Woe Wrestling. I made a ****ty logo in paint, and hired anyone who'd work for my 'vision'. What was my vision? How would I strike back at the wrestling world. What would ToWW stand for? Hardcore Comedy Wrestling. [quote="ToWW Woe is Me! 2007] Captain Perez (Frankie Perez) vs. Neighborhood Ninja (Roderick Remus) Canadian Gangsta (Slim V) vs. Gamblin' Waldo Odlaw (Wierd Waldo Odlaw) Hellion Cubed vs. Kombantants for the ToWW Tag Team 4 Way Hardcore Match for the ToWW Woe World Wrestling [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astil Posted May 16, 2008 Author Share Posted May 16, 2008 [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/ToWW.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/RemmingtonRemus.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/DukeHazzard.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/PrestonHolt.jpg[/IMG] Roderick Remus: Hello ladies and gentlemen of the internet! Welcome to ToWW Woe is Me! Duke Hazzard: Is that not just the worst pun ya'll ever heard? Preston Holt: Might be, but if our creative teams every inch the lame I've seen them to be, it'll get worse. Remus: If I may, I'd just like to say that the Skid Row Club here in lovely Rhode Island is ready for the debut of ToWW. Holt: Tree of Woe Wrestling, for those who don't know. Hazzard: Shut yer traps, here comes the boss. Remus: Indeed, Steve Supreme is in the ring, ready to address the fans. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG] Steve Supreme: Welcome to my show, Tree of Woe Wrestling. Welcome to Woe is Me! Hazzard: He actually says that name with pride. Supreme: Tonight we have some great matchups. We have Candian Gansta taking on Gamblin' Waldo Odlaw. Holt: That's a hardcore match. Supreme: We'll also have the ToWW Tag Team Championship decided, with Hellion Cubed versus the Kombantants. Hazzard: Hellion Cube? Kong-Bat-Ants? Remus: I guess we'll have to wait and find out. Supreme: Up next we'll have something I've always anticipated. The ultimate showdown. The brawl that will end it all. A Pirate vs. A Ninja! Holt: Tell me he's kidding... Supreme: If I can be serious though, there is one final match. A ... match of surprises, for the ToWW Woe World Wrestling Championship! Here's the first surprise ... good ole' Steve Supreme's in it! Remus: That's huge! Listen to the crowd! Hazzard: Huge, but not at'll surprising. Holt: No, but we all know Supreme has skills. How will he fare not knowing his opponents though? .:.C.:. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/FrankiePerez.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/RoderickRemus.jpg[/IMG] [B]Captain Perez vs. Neighborhood Ninja[/B] Remus: *Standing* All matches tonight will be refereed by Baby Jamie and have a fifteen minute time limit. This match is schedueled for one fall, and is a Pirates vs. Ninjas Payoff Match! Making his way to the ring. From California, Captain Perez! Holt: Captain Perez has had extensive training in Japan. Hazzard: Wait a second... Remus: His opponent, hailing from Florida, the Neighborhood Ninja! Hazzard: So, the Pirate trained in Japan, and the Ninja hails from the Carrebean? Remus & Holt: ... Remus: *sitting* Moving on, a shot by Perez, and another one, but Ninja ducks under. Holt: Great agility shown by Ninja. {Time passes} Hazzard: That's a doozey of a move right there! Remus: He calls it the Shuriken Clutch. Holt: Look at the determination shown by Perez. Struggling to the ropes... Remus: He got there, and Ninja releases. Hazzard: What's Ninja doin'? Holt: Top rope ... high risk move comin' Remus: Oh! Ninja went for the Five Ninja-Star Frog Splash, but Perez moved out of the way. Holt: And Perez capitalizes with a brutal submission of his own. Remus: P-Clutch! P-Clutch! Hazzard: P for Perez? P for Pirate? Holt: Does it matter? Perez has it locked in the middle of the ring. Hazzard: And there's the ring bell, this one's over! Remus: But Jamie never motioned and I didn't see Ninja tap out. Holt: Just got the official result, this one is a time limit draw. Hazzard: I reckon we'll see them again, real soon. Remus: I wouldn't be surprised. .:.D.:. Holt: Perez won't release the hold, and here comes Steve Supreme! Remus: Oh man! Perez just leveled Supreme! Ninja's up, and a big kick sends Perez down! Hazzard: Uh oh! Supreme's up... Supreme Stunner on Ninja! Remus: Ninja didn't do anything! Holt: I think Supreme just see's red right now. Remus: A visious shot by Perez, looks like brass knuckles. Hazzard: You crazy as a loon, I saw nothin'. Holt: What's this! Remus: Someone's fighting Perez back, but we can't get a read on who it is? Hazzard: He's wearin' some crazy mask and a cape... Holt: Looks like a ... super hero ... Remus: Well, he's Supreme's and Ninja's hero, as Perez retreats to the back. .:.E.:. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/SlimV.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/WeirdWaldoOdlaw.jpg[/IMG] [B]Canadian Gangsta vs. Gamblin' Waldo Odlaw Hardcore Match[/B] {Time Passes} Hazzard: Gangsta with one chairshot! Two! Thee! Four! Holt: And a fifth! Waldo is down. Remus: And out... 1, 2, 3. Canadian Gangsta: *Looking down at Waldo* ... ... ... DAMN! .:.E.:. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/WilliamHayes.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/ErikStrong.jpg[/IMG] William Hayes: What the hell are you doing? Erik Strong: *coughes* Nothin, man... nothin... *chuckles* Hayes: Man, respect yourself. Strong: Man, don't walk away...I say, don't walk away from me! Do you know how hard it is being Sam Strong's son? Hayes: *raises eyebrow* You're not Sam's son. Strong: Oh yeah! *laughes* Hayes: You know what? Meet me in the ring. I'll beat some respect into you. .:.E+.:. Remus: We go back stage to the Kombantants locker room. Hazzard: Good lawd... [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/MattSparrow.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/MikeyJames.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/JeremiahMoose.jpg[/IMG] Johnny Cage: Boys, we got this in the BAY-AG, BAY-BEH! Johnny boy here has fought in many a Mortal Kombat tournmanent and starred in many a movie, so if there's anyone how knows how to take care of buidniss and look d*mn good doin it, it's the C-A-G-E! That's why you two, my buds, will be takin on the Hellion Cubes. Jax: Why us, playa? Why not you? Cage: Because..."dog"...I'm one of the mystery participants in the Hardcore Fourway for the Dubya Dubya Dubya title. So I'm pretty busy gettin' my game set. You two, though, I know you got it in you! Lui Kang: Hiyayayaya! We got this! Jax: Playa...yeah. .:.D-.:. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/ErikStrong.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/WilliamHayes.jpg[/IMG] [B]Erik Strong vs. William Hayes[/B] {Time Passes} Holt: ...and Hayes is completely dominating this matchup. Remus: To be fair, Strong has got in a bit of offense. Hazzard: Boys high as a kite, I'm surprised he's standin'. Remus & Holt: ... Hazzard: Ya'll were thinkin' it, I just said it. Remus: Slick Trick by Hayes. Cover... 1, 2, 3. Holt: Hayes taught respect, but I'm not sure young Erik recieved the message. Hazzard: Boy's coucoo for cocoa puffs. Remus: *sigh* .:.E+.:. Remus: We go backstage, where Johnny Cage has an interview time. Hazzard: Again? [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/MattSparrow.jpg[/IMG] Cage: Ladies and gentle- Holt: Oh! Remus: Jesus! Folks, it seems that this brute of a man has taken out Cage. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/TribalWarrior.jpg[/IMG] Holt: That's Tribal Warrior, from USPW. Hazzard: He don't look to 'family friendly'. Holt: Wrestling rarely is. Remus: He's motioning for the belt. It appears the third entry for the Hardcore Fourway is Tribal Warrior. .:.E.:. Holt: Let's hope this interview time goes better. Remus: Here's a lovely lady going by ... Hellion Karen? Hazzard: Lawd... [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/KarenKiller_alt.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/DesDavids.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/BullWrecker.jpg[/IMG] Hellion Karen: Allow me to introduce my new clients. This here is Hellion Eric, and this is Hellion Des. Together, we are Hellion Cubed! Hazzard: *laughing* Holt: Are they on motorcycles? Hazzard: *Falling into hysterics* Karen: Kombantants ... you may have fought Gods, but we ride with the Devil. Hazzard: *Has completely lost it* Karen: And tonight, we're riding off with the gold. Des: So how's that taste? Eric: Chumps! Hazzard: *crying* Lawd... .:.E+.:. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/DesDavids.jpg[/IMG] & [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/BullWrecker.jpg[/IMG] W/ [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/KarenKiller_alt.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/MikeyJames.jpg[/IMG] & [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/JeremiahMoose.jpg[/IMG] [B]Hellion Cubed vs. Kombantants ToWW Tag Team[/B] {Time Passes} Holt: Eric sets Kang up. Des plows through. Remus: Great teamwork shown by the Hellions. Hazzard: You know what Hellions works well with? Remus: What? Hazzard: *laughing* Ramen! Remus: *sigh* Holt: Des lifts Kang up, and sends him smashing down again. Remus: Kang needs to tag in Jax. Oh! Dirty move there! Hazzard: The ref ain't see Eric done destroy Jax. Remus: But neither are the legal man. Holt: Now the ref's going to admonish Eric. Hazzard: Great strategy! Karen slides Des brass knuckles. Holt: Pow! Kang's out! Remus: Now the ref turns around! As Des is covering! Holt: 1, 2, 3. The Hellion Cubes are the Tag Team Champions! Hazzard: And did it through strategy. Remus: Bullsh*t. You can bet the Kombantants will want a rematch. .:.E+.:. {Time Passes} Remus: Here are the three known fighters, Supreme, Cage and Warrior in the ring. Hazzard: There measurin up and starin' down. Remus: Sure are, but where's the forth? Holt: In the crowd! Hazzard: No! Remus: No... Hazzard: NO! Remus: YES! [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/JimForce.jpg[/IMG] Holt: It's Jim Force! Hazzard: Bah Lawd what a clothsline, Cage is down, and here we go! .:.C-.:. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/JimForce.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/MattSparrow.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG] VS. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/TribalWarrior.jpg[/IMG] [B]Jim Force vs. Johnny Cage vs. Steve Supreme vs. Tribal Warrior ToWW Woe World Wrestling Championship [/B] Remus: Force clothslines Warrior! Holt: Warrior down! Hazzard: But here comes Supreme. Kick to the gut of Force. Holt: Going for the Supreme Stunner, but way to early. Remus: True, Preston, Force just pushes Supreme through the ropes out of the ring. Hazzard: Now what in tarnations is this all about? Holt: Passion. When Force shakes those ring ropes it shows passion. Remus: And these fan's love him for it! Hazzard: There's your passion. Warrior with a clubbing blow. {Time Passes} Hazzard: Yes! Knock some sense into him Cage! Remus: Hard chair shot by Cage to Force. Holt: But Force just keeps pluggin, yelling in Cage's face. Remus: and look at the fear in Cage's face! Hazzard: No... Holt: Cage looks to run. Hazzard: Stop this Supreme! Stop this Warrior! Remus: There too busy brawling outside the ring! Holt: Oh man! What a clothsline! Remus: Cage has felt the full force! Hazzard: God d*mn it! Remus: 1, Hazzard: No... Remus: 2, Holt: Supreme notices, he's not gonna make it. Remus: 3! Hazzard: NO! .:.D-.:. Remus: Jim Force is the first ToWW WWW Champion! That's all the time we got. Holt: Just look at Force celebrate! Hazzard: D*mn it! Remus: For Preston Holt, Duke Hazzard and the entire ToWW crew, I'm Remmington Remus, reminding you when it's slow, watch some Woe! .:.D-.:. OVERALL SHOW: .:.D-.:. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1PWfan Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Jim Force as Champion? BUUUUUUUUUYYYYYY HIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS MERCHANDIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad5226 Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Priceless...and this gives me a diary idea...hmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astil Posted May 18, 2008 Author Share Posted May 18, 2008 [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b332/astil/ToWW/pwhits1.jpg[/IMG] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astil Posted May 19, 2008 Author Share Posted May 19, 2008 "Holt" Drinking wouldn't be enough to solve this problem. Either every single company in the world was trying to put me under or I had absolutely horrible luck. Or both. I had just spent the last 2 days meeting with wrestlers, trying to figure out a day which would work for all of my big time performers. "Holt!" "Yes, Mr. Avatar?" "When the f*ck are we going to hold our next show?" "Hmm?" "Why is there no easy to access calender, allowing me to see when my workers are working, why do I have to meet with each one of them, take notes, and check each promotions website to see when I can't hold shows?" "Too much for you, sir?" "No, annoying." "Well the calender feature won't be out until June 6th 2008." "What!?" "Nevermind, I'll find you a date," "Hmm, that'd be nice, and while your at it figure out a day to hold the show, too." "Anything else?" Yeah, okay, maybe I'm a bit of a a**hole to good ol' Preston Holt, but I pay him good money. I went to the website and put up the card for ToWW Branching Out. Whenever it might be. [QUOTE]Captain Perez vs. Neighborhood Ninja Up in Smoke vs. The Kombantants Rhino Umaga vs. William Hayes Hellion Cubed (c) vs. Team Jett - ToWW Tag Steve Supreme vs. Tribal Warrior Jim Force (c) vs. Johnny Cage[/QUOTE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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