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My Life In Exile: The Karl Kitsch Story


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On my 15th birthday, I punched my old man square in the face. I looked him square in the eye and threw my hand into his flattened, crooked nose as hard as I could and I watched him stand there, unmoved by the trickle of blood running down his lip. My old man, the alcoholic, waste of a lump of man, he didn't swing back, he didn't yell. That doorknob of a man, he laughed in my face. He laughed longer and harder than I had ever heard him before. He laughed for what seemed like forever before he stopped. Still smirking, he looked at me and said something that would change the course of my life. "You have to do more than that to drop the Masked Strangler." "The Masked Who?", I asked. "The Masked Strangler, former two time All-Midwest Champion from 1968-1975. Master of the Iron Grasp.", he said, standing as tall as possible, his chest forward. I stood before him, shocked and speechless for a few minutes. Then I asked the only thing in my brain. "Can you make ME a wrestler, Dad?" He thought for a moment, smiled wide, and said the two words that would define me for the rest of my life. "Why not?"
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I spent the next three years of my life training. Not training like you do in some rented building that used to be a TG&Y or the kind you get from some former SWF World Champion in a state of the art facility. No, I got the kind of training you get from a 56 year old former masked jobber. I woke up every day an hour before I needed to get ready for school. I carried sacks of potatoes up and down stadium steps. I did Hindu squats until I couldn't stand. I ran until I threw up. This was my 16th year on Earth: School and working out until it made me sick. On my 17th birthday, he told me to punch him in the face. Again. "Are you sure?", I asked, meekly. "Hah! I think I can take a punch from the likes of y--" I swung a wild haymaker at his cantelope head. Waiting for the squish of my fist slamming into his lump of a nose, I was on my knees and in agony. "That's rasslin', kid. That's how the Masked Strangler before me taught me and that's how the original Masked Strangler taught him." "Argh!" "Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot to release that knuckle lock." And so it went until my 18th birthday...
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On my 18th birthday, I was awakened at 5:22 am. I remember the precise time because of the look on my mother's face. Her eyes were beyond red and she was shaking me violently. "Karl! Karl! Wake up!" "Wha--" "It's Hank... Your Dad, he's..." "No! He can't be..." My father was dead. Henry "Hank" Kitschko, the third Masked Strangler, the two time All-Midwest Champion, had died in his sleep. I spent my eighteenth birthday helping my Mom tidy up his affairs and box up his clothes. There wasn't any talking or even crying, just quiet work. I am sure we ate at some point, but there was no cake. After spending the whole day sorting out the hole in our house, I walked up stairs to bed. "Honey." "Yeah, Mom." "I almost forgot, here's your birthday present. From Dad." I swallowed hard and opened the box. It was a mask. His mask. The Masked Strangler mask. "What does the card say, Karl?" "From the Masked Strangler to the Masked Strangler..." "What does is say?" "It doesn't say anything, there's this." I showed her the card. All it had on it was a number, in black sharpie. "4"
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[B]Twelve Years Later[/B] [COLOR="Red"]"Mr. Keech?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Mr. Kitsch speaking."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Mr. Keech, this is Puerto Rican Power, you might remember me."[/COLOR] Of course I remembered him. We had a pair of matches in Florida and a tryout match for DAVE a year ago. That one went as well as all my other tryout matches went. [COLOR="Blue"]"Power! How is everything?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Good, good. I was wondering if you had anything going on at the moment? Any bookings?"[/COLOR] The answer was nothing. No bookings, no interest. No promotion wants a 30 year old who wrestles like it's 1965. The Masked Strangler was lucky to get an indie booking, jobbing to a blue haired kid that flips around like a skateboarding fish. [COLOR="Blue"]"Business has been done, Power. You know how it is..."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Mr. Keech, I have a question for you."[/COLOR] Silence. [COLOR="Blue"]"What would the Masked Strangler think of working in Puerto Rico?"[/COLOR]
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[COLOR="Blue"]"So, here I am, Power. What did you have in mind?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Welcome to my home, Mr. Keech."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Call me Karl."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Welcome to my home, Karl. How was your flight?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I've had worse. Can I sit down?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Sure, sure. Have a seat."[/COLOR] I set my bags down and make my way into the kitchen of Puerto Rican Power's home. It is small, but nice. His wife is cooking something that smells amazing and his kids are running around the house. If I remember right his sons names are Ricardo Jr., Jesus, and Francesco. His daughter Aaliyah is out of sight, but most likely around somewhere. Power, or Ricardo, is wearing a nice silk shirt and linen pants. He is smiling widely. Ric is always smiling. [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, Ric, you said you had a job for me. I watched all the videos on YouTube that you suggested, I canceled a booking, and I flew down here on my own dime. What's the angle?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"The angle, Karl? I didn't have you come to Puerto Rico for an angle! I had you come down here to write the angles! I want you to be my head booker!"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Isn't that Shawn's job?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"It was Shawn's job. Did you watch that match with Hell's Bouncer I sent the link for?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"The one with the briefcase spot?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Yes, yes, the briefcase spot. Again. For the third consecutive match. That night. I love Shawn like the brother I never had, but he needs someone to reduce his workload. I picked you."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I've never booked a match, Ricardo. Not one. You want me to book a show!"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"The whole company, from here on out. I want you to shape FREEDOM."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Are you sure?"[/COLOR] For the first time since my arrival, Ric's wife, Consuelo spoke. [COLOR="Yellow"]"Just take the job already! Do you know how tired I am of hearing Ricardo say Mr. Keech this, Mr. Keech that?"[/COLOR] I look Ricardo in the face. He is dying for me to say yes. [COLOR="Blue"]"Of course I'll take the job, Ric. Just remember, this is my first time!"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"I knew you'd say yes!"[/COLOR] We shook hands and from that day forward, I lived on Puerto Rican Power's couch. Good thing his wife can cook...
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[COLOR="Red"]"So, tell me Karl, what do you think of the roster?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, it certainly is big."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"I know, I know, but I think we can still turn a profit."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Really?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Really!"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, let's start with the Latino Kings."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Shawn's boys?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Yeah. I think we should build them up a little. Give them a fourth member and some wins. I see them being outsiders, doing whatever they please. We should build them toward a feud with you."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Are they up to it?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"From what I saw, Rudy or Jesus could be a good match up with you."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"What about Shawn?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I want Shawn to be the white hat."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"White hat?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Whenever someone is getting ambushed or being jumped by three guys, Shawn comes to the rescue. No title chases, no feuds. Shawn is a special enforcer."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Who do you think should be elevated?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I love love love the Leper Messiah and Hell's Bouncer. Why not package them with Titan?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Monster heel faction? That sounds good!"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"If we elevate them carefully, that is three future contenders for you that aren't total stiffs. Plus, if we bring in any outsiders, they can ally with you against them for cheap face pops."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"What should we call them?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, Leper Messiah is a David Bowie reference, so we could call Titan 'Diamond Dog.' We keep Hell's Bouncer as Hell's Bouncer. How about Scary Monsters?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"I like that. We could add Singh and call him 'Aladdin Sane' or something..."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Now your thinking! With four guys in their group, they match up well with the four luchadores and the Latino Kings. We could put the Young Americans and Natural Storm together to face them, too."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"So far, so good."[/COLOR]
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So far I like this (and it's helped me decide which cmpany to dynastise myself, so good on you). It's pretty clear from that last post that you've got some good ideas going on for the roster, which is very important with a roster as large as FREEDOM's. One piece of advice, though: you might want to try spacing out your dialogue a bit, or giving different characters' dialoguer different colours to make them stand ou a bit.
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[COLOR="Blue"]"Hey Ricardo!"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Hola Karl! Why are you speaking so... blue?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I don't know Ric, I never noticed. Why are you speaking so red?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"I'm not sure, Karl, but I like it. I like it alot."[/COLOR]
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[COLOR="Red"]"So, what about the rest of the roster, Karl?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, let's see... there's Gato, Dragon, Tiger, and Zonk. I see them as a package deal. Lower card faces. We can put them in eight man matches and six man tags pretty easily. Maybe tag them up, too. Zonk has some serious upside, Gato too."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"So, you don't mind using luchadores?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"No, as long as we don't try to elevate them too fast. I think we need to keep our eyes on one of the youngsters, though."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Matt Hoking?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"No, Eddie Howard. He has the total package. He could be a big time pick up in 5 years. We need to get everything we can from him. I'm not in love with Rayne, but we should keep them together for a little while."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"What about the Young Americans? Shawn loves those boys."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, Shawn can have them in his feud with the Latino Kings. I don't think either one is too special, from what I've seen. Now Peverell, he's a keeper."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"You like Bradford? I'm not sure if the crowd will ever buy him."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, what if we put him with Mainstream Hernandez, Eddie Howard, and someone I bring in?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Who did you want to bring in?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I want to bring in Bulldozer Brandon Smith."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"If you keep everyone, you can have Bulldog Banana Splits."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Deal."[/COLOR]
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After visiting with all the workers in the gym, I had to change my plans. Nothing dramatic, but I didn't know if Ric would be up to it. After Consuelo cooked up a nice meal and we had a few Medalla Lights, we went outside and sat on the hood of his car. [COLOR="Blue"]"So, Ric, I had some second thoughts about the roster."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Second thoughts? I would expect you had third and fourth thoughts as well."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"You got me there, Ric. I'm really struggling with this 'Don't fire anyone' thing. What if they were almost assured future employment with other promotions?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"It's Ox and King Kong, isn't it? Shawn has been trying to get me to release those two since day one. Are you sure you can't use them?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I have nothing to say against them, they just don't have anything I can use. They will land on their feet, somewhere. If I was Sam Strong..."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Trust me Karl, you do not want to try thinking like Sam Strong. There is some scary stuff going on in there."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"So, I want to release those two and sign Bulldozer and Cameron Vessey."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Why Vessey?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"Well, I tried out Singh with the other Scary Monsters and it was not as good a match as we thought. I want to put him in a tag team. Carlos and Kirk, Matt and Joe, D.C. and Eddie, and Jesus and Hector make for a pretty dynamic tag team division."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"What about Carlos as the fourth King?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"That's not going to happen. I picked a new fourth."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"Any hints?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"No, but you'll like it. It will all make sense. I have a three phase plan."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]"What are they?"[/COLOR] I showed Ric my notebook. [U]Phase 1[/U] Puerto Rican Power vs. Latino Kings Scary Monsters Reign of Terror Singh/Bulldozer/Peverell/Stranger Strangler vs. Hernandez [U]Phase 2[/U] Puerto Rican Power vs. Scary Monsters Latino Kings vs. Spirit of Justice Tag Team Wars [U]Phase 3[/U] The Darkness When Ric knew what I had planned for the Darkness, he laughed and laughed. [COLOR="Red"]"Are we brave enough for this?"[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I think we might start a riot, but it will totally be worth it."[/COLOR]
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Of course, all of this was idle chatter. Ric was as familiar with the school of booking I come from as I am, the Eisen Method. I personally watched Richard use this technique before my tryout match with Runaway Train two years ago. Richard had a red marker and a blue marker along with a stack of note cards. He would take a note card, write a worker's name on it in red or blue, and place it in the pile for that color. I asked him what the piles were for. [COLOR="SeaGreen"]"Well, Karl, if you must know, the red are going up and the blue are going down. The red are your guys on the top, champions, rising stars, contenders. The blue are veterans that can take a lose or two, rookies, midcard fodder."[/COLOR] Richard then scattered the two all over the table and started picking out workers, matching up reds and blues. I was a blue and Train was a red. [COLOR="SeaGreen"]"There are B shows and A shows and S shows. For a B show, it's fine to have two blues go up against each other. Throw a few reds in at the top of the card and everything is copecetic. On an A show everything has to be red vs. blue. That's what the people pay for. On an S show, though, that's different. It's red against red all night. That is how you make some money. Red versus red is pure profit, if you make it special."[/COLOR] Yeah, Ric knows all about Eisen's booking technique. Ric got a blue card against Jack Bruce. Richard didn't sign Ricardo that night, but he did sign me for one more night. When I was lying down for Runaway Train, all I could wish for was an SWF contract. There was one waiting for me in the locker room. Be careful what you wish for.
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It was a Wednesday night in Tupelo, Mississippi. July heat was making everything sticky and disgusting. My stomach was turned and full of fried food from a hotel diner. I was sitting backstage, listening to Slipknot on my headphones, pretending I wasn't so nervous I could throw up at any moment. I had worked a few tryout matches. HGC said I was too young. TCW said I was too old. USPW thought I was too modern. CZCW thought I was too old school. Stomper wanted more than I was willing to give, if you catch my meaning. Japan, not interested in the Masked Strangler. Mexico, not interested in Karl Kitsch. After all that time of being let down, I was in the SWF. Richard told me he was packaging me with a new gimmick. He didn't want to popularize a gimmick I own and he didn't think I was marketable as 'Karl the Old School Guy.' [COLOR="SeaGreen"]"So, tonight, in this very ring, you get to be Tiktik, the Mongolian Warrior."[/COLOR] Eisen threw me the outfit and some makeup. I was less than enthused, but I was in the SWF. My pop never got this far. Two hours later, and it was show time. I was sharing a locker room with the Warlords and Runaway Train. The Warlords were polite enough, but aloof. Until I mentioned my father. Pain actually worked against him a few times. That was cool. Train was cool, but a little intense, a little jittery. [COLOR="Indigo"]"Look, Karl, I want to make sure this is what you want. Do you really want to be Richard Eisen's boy? I mean, is it worth your soul?"[/COLOR] I stopped fiddling with my costume and I looked up at him for a long time. I didn't know how to respond. [COLOR="Indigo"]"I just want you to think this out Karl. He signed you to a one day contract and put you into a match with Christian Faith. Do you think he has your best interests in heart?"[/COLOR] I didn't understand. Runaway Train had a reputation for being kind of a prick, but not the type to play mind games. What was he getting at? It didn't matter, because the gorilla called me up. This was my moment. A match at a house show against Christian Faith. This was my shot at the big time. I didn't want to blow it. I didn't realize Richard Eisen had screwed me before I walked out the curtain. By Thursday morning, my wrestling career in the U.S. would be over and I would be exiled. That moment was almost worth it all, anyway. I step out of the curtain and into the light.
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I step into the light and a thunderhead of boos envelops me. A blanket of negativity wrapped around me and made me feel at home. The red, angry faces stared with unblinking eyes and made my heart swell. It was hard not to swoon. I was sticky and wet with $5 pops and $8 beers, popcorn and peanut shells stuck in my hair and cape. I savored each slow step forward. Faith was in the ring, shaking his head. I thought he was expressing his fear of me, Tiktik the Mongolian Warrior. I thought it was all kayfabe. I spread my arms out, and with them my cape, and spun in a slow circle. The crowd was a several thousand think choir of hate. Faith was red and shaking with rage. I climbed the steps and wiped my feet on the apron. I took my time and mugged for the crowd. Faith's head was down and he was trembling with energy. I put one foot in the ring... and it all went black. It was the next day on the Internet that I saw the next five seconds. Faith had rushed me, spearing me off the apron. My foot was still in the ropes and twisted at a disgusting angle. My head hit the padded floor. It wasn't padded enough. Christian Faith, to the great joy of the crowd, top mounted me and began laying down a torrent of fists. I come to. Faith is swearing oaths of my soon demise, punching my face until it is a bloody mess. My nose cracks.All I see is his face, contorted and demonic. My arms are wrapped in my cape. I am going to die on the floor of some arena in Tupelo. Then I see the light. Christian is lifted off of me, still flailing and spitting vitriol. Runaway Train has saved my life. The gnarled claw of Warlord Agony reaches down to pull me up. He and Pain scoop me up and push me up the ramp, broken ankle and concussion not slowing them down. Ever the veterans, they play the crowd as they save me. Somehow, Train kept Faith at bay until the Lords had me halfway up the ramp. I looked to Anger and spit out a bloody "Why?" before having a coughing fit. He pointed to the SupremeTron and snickered. I collapsed in realization of what I had done. There I was, posing and making faces in my costume and makeup, intercut with footage of special needs people and my name flashing up on the screen. Only, it wasn't the name Richard Eisen told me. The screen said my name was Tiktik the Mongoloid Warrior in ten foot letters. I could still remember the old vignettes of Christian Faith training, from years back. He was swimming and sparring and lifting weights with Special Olympians. He was smiling and uplifting music played. Then, at the end, it showed him holding his son in his arms. His little boy. His special little boy. I was openly weeping now. Train put Faith back on his feet. Faith didn't try to charge up the ramp and kill me, much to my surprise. No, he exchanged words with Train and Train laughed. Faith tackled Train to the ground. The Lords of War took me to the locker room and kept the other boys from attacking me while I got dressed. Agony put on my cape and Pain put on the shirt I had worn in. All three of us left and went our separate ways. I got on a bus and took off for home, the adrenaline drowning out the agony. A week later, and the buzz died down. A few fan cams, with amazing video quality, popped up on the Internet. Faith gained a new reputation as a bad ass defender of all things good. Train, who took credit for the whole thing, gained a reputation for being kind of a jackass. I was just a stupid yokel indie worker who did it for the money. I framed the check Richard Eisen wrote me for ten thousand dollars. It reminds me that nothing is worth my soul.
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OOC: I want to apologize for the original write up for HYPERPOWER! and the other entries from Tuesday. They were not up to snuff and are being rewritten to match a different game of TEW. The one I wrote from was going abysmally and never matched up with what I really wanted, so I restarted and things are going better.
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[COLOR="Blue"]"I have the new roster, Ricardo..."[/COLOR] He knows I'm nervous. I call him Ricardo when I'm intimidated. I am very intimidated right now. [COLOR="Red"]"Whoa, Karl. That is a lot of cuts."[/COLOR] [COLOR="Blue"]"I know, Ric. I just... I want this to work. We have some real talent and it was getting lost in the shuffle."[/COLOR] Ric breathes deep. I can hear the deviated septum that awakens me in the middle of each night. His disappointment washes over me in waves. [COLOR="Red"]"If you think this is right, Karl. I trust you. Is this right?"[/COLOR] I pause. I am firing 11 workers. Eleven people with families and rent to pay. I can't say yes. I nod. [COLOR="Red"]"Good, good. Consuelo, get me my phone. I have some bad news to give out tonight."[/COLOR] I know I didn't sleep well last night. I also know I didn't hear any snoring.
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[B][U]The Official FCW Roster[/U][/B] Puerto Rican Power: Only the most over man in Puerto Rico. A talented man with an easy going manner. An ideal face for a company. Shawn Gonzalez: A little more difficult to please than PRP, Shawn is the trainer and most talented worker on the roster. Hell's Bouncer: Big, strong, great look. Could be the best challenger for PRP's Puerto Rican title or even the companies over all number one heel. Handsome Stranger: A wild card. Capable of good matches, he does nothing extraordinarily well. The bridge between midcard and the main event. Mainstream Hernandez: If he sticks around, James is the future of the company. A good interview and a good match up. Bradford Peverell: A strong brawler. Bradford is the future, hopefully ours. Carlos Gonzalez: Needs some serious work. Kirk Jameson: Future star, but likely to bolt. Cameron Vessey: Future star, but likely to bolt. Bulldozer Brandon Smith: Future Puerto Rican champion. Potential to be main eventer. Matt Hocking: Needs at least one more year of seasoning to be of any interest. Regular Joe: A solid midcarder in the making. Hector Galindo, Jesus Chavez, and Rudy Velasquez: In a perfect world, they would be the company's future. Sadly, PRP won't let me resign them, so they will be gone in the next 12-18 months. Karl Kitsch: I think I'm half way decent. I could be wrong. GOALS: FCW Must Be Small or Larger Shawn Must have B+ Momentum No D- Psychology No Psychopaths
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