Empire of the Future- EWF, 2010

[lazorbeak]

Sunday, June 27, 2010. Jack Avatar, head booker and EWF World Champion appeared on the Wrasslin' Radio Show. Among other topics, Avatar discussed his upcoming title defense, his reputation in the business, and his relationship with the Chord family, among other things. [quote="The Wrasslin' Radio Show"]DJ: Hi, Jack, how are you? Jack: Great. Happy to be here. DJ: You've got a match coming up this Wednesday, at Acid Drop, right? Jack: That's right. It should be big. DJ: I'll say. You're taking on Rich Money, a man who has been on an amazing win streak as of late, including a count-out victory against you last Saturday on EWF Destruction in a tag match with Zimmy Bumfhole. Jack: Don't remind me. Rich Money and Zimmy can talk about an "alliance" all they want, but I've got the belts, man. Not only am I the World Heavyweight champion, but Alicia and I are tag team champs. DJ: Okay. Any other reasons to watch Acid Drop outside of your first ever match with Rich Money? Jack: Absolutely. Alicia gets her revenge against that tool Zimmy, Randy B. squares off against Joey Minnesota in a rematch from a few months back, Big Cat and Joe Sexy face off in a parking lot brawl, and Acid takes on the Eastern Giant, Marat Khoklov. It's going to be a great show. DJ: I'm sure it will- all of the EWF Pay Per Views have been incredible lately. Jack: We've really been blessed with a lot of talent, and now that we're the #2 promotion in North America, expect big things. Expect HUGE things. DJ: Any thoughts on NOTBW's recent collapse? They've lost 6 hours of programming in the past two months, and rumor has it that a number of stars are on their way out. Jack: It's a shame, but at the same time, it's a huge opportunity for us. We've always been called "TCW Jr.", but now we've got a chance to really make an impact on an international stage. DJ: NOTBW also recently fired a number of stars, including former EWF Tag Champion Elmo Benson. Any chance we'll see him back in an EWF ring? Jack: Never say never. Elmo and I have had our differences, but under the right circumstances, he would be welcome back into EWF. DJ: You mentioned earlier that EWF is often called "TCW Jr." or "TCW-lite"- does that make you the EWF equivalent of Tommy Cornell? Jack: Haha, I guess it does. I've got a tremendous respect for Tommy Cornell, so it's really an honor to be compared to him. Maybe one day we'll settle who's the better wrestler (laughs). DJ: I wanted to talk a little about the creation of the EWF... Jack: Okay, sure. I started off booking for Rip (Chord) in MAW, helping out Jean (Mean Jean Cattley). After a few months, I took over as head booker. DJ: And won the MAW Championship... Jack: Yeah, I was still a little green around the edges, but Rip said putting the belt on me was just good business. DJ: You stuck around MAW for 18 months, correct? Jack: Yeah, feuding with both Steven Parker and Jean. I held the title for awhile, before dropping it back to Steve. DJ: Did you enjoy working with MAW? Jack: I loved it. It had a real positive atmosphere for the young guys, being around Rip. DJ: So why the change? Jack: A few things. I felt like I had nothing left to accomplish in MAW- I won the Rip Chord Tournament, I won the MAW title, and I had put over their top star- what was there left for me to do? At the same time, SWF was in chaos- the buyrates had just had a huge drop, they had two shows canceled, and Steve Frehley had just walked out on them. Suddenly all these guys that had been locked away on written deals were looking for work. It suddenly became feasible to run a sort of indy "super card" type show. DJ: That was the original idea behind EWF? Jack: Pretty much. Giving fans the chance to see DAVE champions wrestle SWF guys and TCW guys in a fast-paced environment. I mean that first card, we had Steve (Frehley), an SWF guy (who we borrowed for the night from CGC) wrestling Jack Griffith, one of TCW's top guys at the time. Then the title match was Eddie Peak vs. Lobster Warrior, and at the time, we didn't even have Peak signed to a deal. DJ: But you started becoming a more traditional company, right? Jack: Of course. Dream match-ups can't carry you forever. We started telling our own stories, making them EWF workers, not DAVE workers or whatever. Ask the average fan who Eddie Peak is, and they probably won't even remember he was a champ in DAVE. DJ: So who were the "originals"? Jack: Let's see... everybody? DJ: How about just the uppercard? Jack: Okay. Eddie was originally our top guy, then there was Lobby (Lobster Warrior), Zimmy, Sammy (Bach), and Acid. Marc (DuBois) wasn't an original, but he and Joey Minnesota debuted on our second show. For awhile, we were carried by Acid vs. Peak and Lobby vs. Marc. DJ: I still remember that bump Lobster Warrior took. Jack: Yeah, it was brutal. But yeah, that match helped put us on the map. I have to give it up for Lobby, he put his body on the line for us. DJ: One more thing: what's your reaction to the Jay Chord's statements about you, and your relationship with his father? Jack: ..... Look, Jay Chord's an adult now. He's a phenomenal wrestler, and I'm sure he'll be successful wherever he goes. That said, the guy has no sense of responsibility and no clue when it comes to dealing with people. DJ: Any truth to the rumors of an altercation between you and Jay at Rip Chord's funeral? Jack: None. Next question? DJ: That's all I've got. Anything to add? Jack: Don't forget to order EWF Acid Drop, this Wednesday on Pay Per View. Rich Money, this Wednesday you're going to fall harder than the value of the dollar! Believe it, baby![/quote]

[lazorbeak]

[SIZE="5"][COLOR="Blue"]EWF Presents:[/COLOR] [COLOR="Red"]ACID DROP[/COLOR][/SIZE] The Matches: [COLOR="Blue"]Jack Avatar[/COLOR] (c) vs. [COLOR="Red"]Rich Money[/COLOR] for the EWF World Heavyweight Title Rich Money defeated Randy Bumfhole and Wolf Hawkins to earn his first opportunity at EWF singles gold after defeating Remo in a brutal feud with assistance from Steve Frehley. Can Jack Avatar retain his title against this physically impressive superstar? Will Zimmy Bumfhole's ongoing feud with Avatar cost him the gold? [COLOR="Red"]Joey Minnesota[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Blue"]Randy Bumfhole[/COLOR] Both men were involved in the recent title tournament, and both came up short. Now, the two renew their rivalry that began in March at Last Chance. The winner of this match is sure to make a statement to the title committee: Minnesota was unable to defeat Jack Avatar at April's Passion for Pain, but the superstar has been one of the hottest heels on the roster in 2010, and a win over one of EWF's top faces would put him right back in contention. For his part, Randy Bumfhole needs a win to remain in the title picture. Will EWF's resident dude pick up the victory and receive his first title shot since 2009? [COLOR="Blue"]Big Cat Brandon[/COLOR] v. [COLOR="Red"]Joe Sexy[/COLOR] in a Parking Lot Brawl This feud began over Jessie, Big Cat's manager, when Joe Sexy began making advances towards her. The feud has since spiraled out of control, with three matches already taking place between the two men. After a count-out ended their first match indecisively, the two have split victories in the past two months. Now, in a parking lot brawl, it's all or nothing. [COLOR="Blue"]Alicia Strong[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Zimmy Bumfhole[/COLOR] The roots of this feud began when Zimmy "made a statement" by defending his title against Strong months ago, but since Alicia surprisingly found Jack Avatar to take the titles from Raw Power, she has been on a hot streak. Will Alicia finally defeat EWF's biggest ego, or will Zimmy send a message to Jack Avatar by defeating his tag team partner? [COLOR="Blue"]Acid[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Marat Khoklov[/COLOR] After months of being Emma Chase's silent enforcer, including driving Eddie Peak out of EWF, Acid has become his own man once again, and now seeks to overcome the odds against EWF's largest superstar. Can the Acid man reign supreme over the Eastern Giant? [COLOR="Blue"] Greg Gauge[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Steve Frehley [/COLOR] Steve Frehley's been on a winning streak since his debut in EWF, picking up a singles victory over Remo Richardson in his very first match. Will he be able to add former two time EWF Intercontinental Champion Greg Gauge to his victim list, or will the Proton Lock prevail? [COLOR="Blue"]Jackie G[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Squeeky McLean[/COLOR] (c) for the EWF North American Title Jackie G and Squeeky have been polar opposites since their debuts in EWF. While Jackie is a loud, crude, "rap icon," Squeeky has been a constant endorser of so-called "family values." These two have already faced one another in the past, with impressive results. Now, it's for Squeeky's North American Title. [COLOR="Blue"]Guide[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Akima Brave[/COLOR] (c) for the EWF Rising Star Title Akima Brave won his first singles gold last week at EWF Destruction, ending El Angelo Verde's five month title reign. Can the Raw Power member and three time tag team champion defeat his longtime tag rival, Guide of the New Wave? Or will the Guided Missile bring Akima's reign to an abrupt ending? [B]Quick Picks[/B] Jack Avatar (c) vs. Rich Money Joey Minnesota vs. Randy Bumfhole Big Cat Brandon vs. Joe Sexy Alicia Strong vs. Zimmy Bumfhole Acid vs. Marat Khoklov Greg Gauge vs. Steve Frehley Jackie G vs. Squeeky McClean (c) Guide vs. Akima Brave (c) [B]Bonus:[/B] What match will open the show? Who will be the first to wear a crimson mask? Who (if anyone) will interfere in the title match?

[lazorbeak]

[SIZE="4"][COLOR="Blue"]EWF Presents[/COLOR]: [COLOR="Red"]ACID DROP![/COLOR][/SIZE] EWF is coming at you Live from Maryland Wood, Maryland! Mitch Naess, Emma Chase, and Nemesis are at ringside Report by: Crippler Ray Kingman Pre-Show Match #1: [COLOR="Blue"]High Energy[/COLOR] (Groucho Bling and Mainstream Hernandez) defeated [COLOR="Red"]Towers of Power[/COLOR] (Mick Muscles and Danny Rushmore) by pinfall at 5:51. Rating: B- Crippler’s Notes: High Energy look like a fixture in the tag division, and Mainstream’s been making great strides to be a more complete worker. Mick Muscles has had a chronic injury that he’s been working through for months, but I wonder how much longer he’ll be able to work through the pain. We took the Towers off TV in the hope that he’d recover, but six months later, he still isn’t 100%. Pre-Show Match #2: [COLOR="Red"]Dark Angel[/COLOR] defeated [COLOR="Red"]“The Masked Jobber” Soetsu Akechi[/COLOR] in 2:34 with a Descent into Hell. Rating: B Crippler’s Notes: It’s a shame we don’t have room on the main card for a guy as talented as Dark Angel, but his alliance with Dark Lobster hasn’t really gone anywhere, and he spends the match showing the Japanese rookie the ropes. Pre-Show Match #3: [COLOR="Red"]Steven Parker[/COLOR] defeated [COLOR="Blue"]Steve Flash[/COLOR] with a Futureshock after 4:37. Rating: B The show is being held in MAW country, so we threw Steven a bone and gave him a rare victory, albeit in an un-televised match. The crowd treats him like a hometown face, even though he’s a heel from Canada. [B]SHOW OPENS[/B] A brief, slickly produced video highlights Rich Money’s victories over Randy Bumfhole and Wolf Hawkins that gave him this shot, then to the encounter the two men had two weeks ago on Destruction, then to their tag match last week. The clip ends with Money standing in the ring making the “I want the belt” gesture. Rating: B+ [B]Match #1:[/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Gregory Keith[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Steve Frehley[/COLOR] Gregory gets a solid if unspectacular face reaction, while Frehley gets a strong reaction despite being the heel. These two skip the posturing and get right into a wild brawl that tosses Keith out of the ring. Frehley shouts for Keith to get back in, pounding his chest. Back in the ring, Keith takes over with a couple of quick clotheslines, then hits an exploder suplex out of nowhere that gets him a quick two count. Frehley powers out of a cover and the two start brawling again. Keith goes back for another clothesline, but Frehley catches him and SPIKES him with a brutal spinebuster. Frehley tosses Keith into the corner and works him over before setting up a superplex, but Keith punches out of it and goes for the Flying Cross-Body. Frehley catches him and maneuvers him into a Frehley’s Comet! And he hits it, 1-2-3! [B] Winner: Steve Frehley at 9:54 Rating: A*[/B] Crippler’s Notes: Frehley has been unbelievably motivated since he came to work for us full-time. Keith is starting to look like a career also-ran, but the main event is already overcrowded. He may not be a top guy yet, but Keith has been extremely reliable in putting other workers over. Tremendous brawl, and significantly higher than everyone’s expectations. Backstage, Matthew Gauge is wearing sunglasses indoors. Matt: Tough luck, bro. You made your choice, you gotta live with it, huh? And speaking of choices, tonight, Wolf Hawkins, I’m giving you more than a choice- I’m giving you a freaking ultimatum! Give me a rematch against you, or I personally guarantee to make your life a living hell! And Dawn, if you’ve got even half a brain over that chest, you’ll know better than to get in my way! I’m a legend in the making, and next week, at EWF Destruction, I’ll show you why! Rating: B Crippler’s Notes: When Greg signed a written deal for us, we gave him a push and only used Matt as a sporadic jobber. Now that he’s full-time, he’s been really impressing us- he’s as great a heel as his dad, and that’s saying something. [B]Match #2:[/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Jackie G[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Squeeky McClean[/COLOR] © for the EWF North American Title These two have had bad blood between them from day 1, and they reminded everyone why in the second show-stealing performance of the night. Squeeky controls early on, but Jackie gets the crowd riled up behind him and gets a 2 count out of a headlock countered into a trapping reverse suplex. Squeeky bails, and it looks like he’s thinking about counting himself out when some words from Jackie get him back in the ring. Jackie hits three European uppercuts that drive Squeeky into the corner, and Jackie raises the roof before hitting the chart topping kick in the corner, nearly taking Sqeeky’s head off. Cover gets 2, but Squeeky takes control back after countering a back drop with a brutal kick to the head. Squeeky wears down Jack’s neck, even choking the Rap Superstar against the ropes, narrowly avoiding a disqualification. Jackie Strongs Up ™, and Squeeky’s in trouble! Jackie goes for The Crashing On, but Squeeky wriggles out. Jackie goes for it again, but Squeeky counters again, this time hitting the Stain Removal! 1-2-3, in the middle of the ring! Squeeky beat Jackie G clean! [B]Winner and still champion: Squeeky McClean by pinfall at 13:52 Rating: A*[/B] Crippler’s Notes: Both these guys are getting a huge boost from this feud. Jackie was a directionless midcarder with a comedy gimmick six months ago, but he’s been showing us why he was such a star in DAVE. Backstage, Zimmy’s in his private dressing room, reclining against a black leather couch. The crowd boos IMMENSELY as soon as he’s on the screen. Zimmy closes his eyes, soaking it in for a moment. Zimmy: Alicia, Alicia, Ali-cia. How many times, Alicia? How many times have I spiked that pretty blonde head of yours off the mat? How many times have I hit the Bumfhole in One? How many times have I gotten the 1-2-3, with your shoulders down on the mat? When are you going to get it? When is it going to sink in? I’ve been patient, but now, tonight, I’m making a statement. Tonight, I’m going to make sure those fans that haven’t been paying attention, I’m going to make sure they realize that I AM BETTER THAN YOU. Zimmy gets up, and the camera pans as he begins warming up. Zimmy: But you’ve gotta know that. I know you’re not the brightest crab in the bay, but even these Baltimore fans know that there is just… nobody… better… than… me. And tonight? I’ll prove it. See you in the ring, bitch. Rating: A* Crippler’s Notes: Zimmy has just improved immensely since his heel turn. He’s so comfortable playing an absolute egomaniac (I wonder why). He’s easily the most hated guy in the EWF, if not the world. And tonight he’s wrestling Sam Strong’s daughter. [B] Match #3:[/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Alicia Strong[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Zimmy Bumfhole [/COLOR] Huge match, and we’re not even an hour into the show! Mitch: On any other show, this would be a main event! Nemesis: Well, almost any other show. Alicia surprisingly holds her own through much of the early going, getting the crowd red hot after ten punches in the corner. The crowd really, really wants to see Alicia pick up the victory here, as she continues to hit impressive moves, including a near fall after a tiger driver. Zimmy fights out of a submission maneuver and gets huge heat as he gets Alicia in the corner and hits three STIFF chops to Alicia, and draws even more heat when he licks his fingers before delivering one more. He hits a running dropkick out of the corner before dragging Alicia into the middle of the ring. He signals for the Bumfhole in One, but she pushes him out of it and hits a SICK twisting backbreaker! Alicia goes up top… and hits a Strong Moonsault! 1-2-NO! Somehow Zimmy kicked out! The crowd can’t believe it! Alicia hits a Fisherman’s suplex that gets another 2 count. She goes to lift Zimmy, but he low blows her! And she no sells it! Crowd pops huge as she leaves him dazed on his knees with two stiff chops before bouncing off the ropes and hitting a diving dropkick to his face. Mitch: That’s gotta be it! Alicia’s going to do it! She’s finally getting her revenge! Alicia goes for the Angel Driver, but Zimmy holds the ropes, and she can’t move him. Nemesis: That’s ring presence right there, never forget your position in the ring, or it’s over. Alicia clotheslines Zimmy right over the top! Mitch: So much for ring presence! Alicia waits for Zimmy to get up before hitting a handspring dive over the top, sending both workers to the ground. Zimmy gets to his feet first, and tosses Alicia into the steps before climbing back in the ring. Alicia follows him, and the two start brawling. Alicia looks to get the upper hand, but Bumfhole in One out of nowhere by Zimmy! 1-2-3! Zimmy is already halfway down the aisle before the crowd starts raining down the boos. Zimmy just flashes his million-dollar smile while Alicia Strong pulls herself to her feet, holding the back of her head. [B]Winner: Zimmy Bumfhole by pinfall at 16:37. Rating: A[/B] Crippler’s Notes: I think we might’ve lost an opportunity with the quick ending, and we let Alicia control the match, but we’ve managed to convince the crowd that Alicia can wrestle a former champion for over 15 minutes without resorting to any traditional “girl in peril” type spots. Backstage, Plague is alone in the bowels of the arena. Suddenly, a man in a jet-black Lobster costume approaches. Dark Lobster: Plague, there you are. We’ve been looking for you. The Dark Angel and I are gathering a flock to weather the coming storm, and we thought you might be interested. Plague is just staring forward, apparently not listening. Dark Lobster: You don’t need to give us an answer today, but we would be honored if you’d join us. Plague suddenly notices Lobster and rises. Plague: You think I need to join you to define me? I’m tired of being everyone’s sidekick. Tired of being the quiet enforcer. Just leave me alone. Dark Lobster: You’ve got us all wrong. I’ll show you next week. The Darkness is waiting for you. Rating: B Crippler’s Notes: Jack and I have been trying to figure out what to do with Plague for months; maybe Lobster’s stable might start making some… waves. Elsewhere in the building, Darryl Devine is in the locker room with his head down. Suddenly, Barry Kingman walks into the shot. Barry: Aw, what’s the matter? Darryl: What’s the matter? Here we are, Baltimore Maryland, and do I get to see the sights? Do I get to go to the aquarium, catch an Orioles game? No, I’ve gotta be here. Barry: So? Darryl: So? So? So, I’m not even on the card! Me, Darryl goddamn Devine, coming out to Baltimore, and not even getting booked. Barry: Join the club. Darryl: Maybe you don’t get it? I’m totally awesome. You’re like, the most boring guy on the planet. Barry: Wait, what? Darryl: No offense or whatever, but I could be out there cruising for some sweet Baltimore loving, but instead I’m stuck with the most dull guy this side of a mustache! Barry: Okay, that’s enough. He inches closer to Darryl, who gets to his feet. Darryl: You want a match? Barry: I want a match. Darryl: You got it. Next week, at EWF Destruction, I’m going to beat the charisma INTO you. Barry just stares silently. Rating: C Crippler’s Notes: I love my son, but Darryl’s spot on. This was supposed to be an argument, but it ended up being Darryl talking to himself. We cut to: the hallway outside the locker room, where Akima Brave is making his way towards the ring in wrestling gear, the Rising Star Title over his shoulder. Antonio Garcia is a step behind him, wearing a lime green, v-neck shirt that’s uncomfortably open. Antonio: You ready, man? Akima: I was born ready. When the doctor pulled me out, I dropkicked the bastard. Antonio: They have doctors in Samoa? Akima: Focus, man, focus. I am the greatest athlete in this business. Antonio: I know it, brother. You’re the man, man. You’re the ultimate, the mecca, the show stopper- Akima: The show stealer. Antonio: That’s right, Akima “The Show Stealer” Brave! Good luck out there, brother! Rating: C+ Crippler’s Notes: These two are undeniably talented, whether as a team or individually. For some reason Akima has never seemed comfortable in a singles role, but we’re giving him a shot. [B]Match #4:[/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Guide [/COLOR]vs. [COLOR="Red"]Akima Brave[/COLOR] © for the EWF Rising Star Title Short, fun brawl between these two. Antonio Garcia comes out and hits the Romeo is Bleeding while Brave distracts the ref. One suicide headbutt later, and Akima makes his first defense in a good, if unspectacular match. Winner and still champion: Akima Brave at 5:35 with the Suicide Headbutt [B]Rating: B[/B] Crippler’s Notes: Even our bathroom break matches have great workrate. Backstage, Wolf Hawkins is with Dawn the Cheerleader. Wolf: Matt, who do you think you are? You think you’re man enough to take on the Lone Wolf? I was wrestling Tommy Cornell while you were wetting the bed! You think your little “ultimatum” scares me? Scares Wolf Hawkins? Dawn, do I look scared? Dawn, smiling, shakes her head. Wolf: I didn’t think so. I only regret that I couldn’t kick your ass right here, tonight. So what I want you to do, I want you to rest up, to say your prayers, eat your vitamins. Because at EWF Destruction, the Wolf will tear you apart! AWOOOOOOOOO! Rating: B+ Mitch: Wow, two huge matches already booked, and we’re still days away from EWF Destruction! Emma: Calm down, Mitch, we’ve got a lot more show to do. Speaking of which, here’s Joey Minnesota, preparing for his match with Randy Bumfhole, which is next! Joey Minnesota’s backstage, and he gets the second biggest heel reaction of the night. Joey: Tonight, I take on Randy Bumfhole. But you know what? I already beat Randy once. It’s a done deal that it’s going to happen again. But a great man said tonight, he said he was going to make a statement. And he did. The crowd boos, as just mentioning Zimmy gets them riled up. Joey: And when I beat that great man’s brother, I’m going to make a statement of my own, Minnesota-style. Rating: B+ Crippler’s Notes: Joey recently ditched Kristen Pearce, and has been doing a decent job of carrying his own promos, which is great for us, and makes Joey seem more like a viable champion. [B]Match #5:[/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Randy Bumfhole[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Joey Minnesota[/COLOR] Randy’s developed from a high flier into an amazing all-rounder, while Joey had worked hard to bring his brawling and chain wrestling into the same levels as his submission skills. The result here was a bizarre contrast of styles that still played out amazingly well. Joey as the no-nonsense technician tried to keep Randy grounded early on with a few kicks to the knee and an STF that Randy was barely able to fight out of. Randy fired up the crowd with some quick punches and a textbook dropkick that took Minnesota off his feet. Randy waits for Joey to get to his feet before hitting a springboard crossbody, and the crowd pops like crazy. Randy hops up top and goes for the 450 splash! But Minnesota gets the knees up! Randy sucks wind while Minnesota hits some stiff kicks to Randy’s back and side before getting him in a seated reverse neck hold, stretching out Randy’s back further. Randy fights out of it and goes for a second springboard splash, but Minnesota catches Randy in mid-air and converts it into the Empire Spiral! 1-2-3! [B] Winner: Joey Minnesota with an Empire Spiral at 10:44 Rating: A*[/B] Crippler’s Notes: These guys don’t click? Are you freaking kidding me? That was amazing finish, and Randy has come a long way in terms of selling. Backstage, Antonio Garcia is hanging out with Akima Brave when he sees Ana Garcia, manager of the New Wave. Wearing his standard cheesey grin, Antonio approaches her. Antonio: Hey girl, I saw you checking me out last week, thought I’d see if you wanted to… trade up? Ana: Aren’t you like, my cousin? Antonio: Second cousin, baby. Or, as they say in western Maryland, ‘kissing cousins.’ Antonio winks at Ana, who looks completely weirded out. Ana: You know, as interested as I am, I think the New Wave wouldn’t approve. Antonio: Baby, we’re just a couple of star-crossed… cousins. Ana: I gotta go. Ana turns and leaves, throwing one last weirded out glance towards Antonio. Akima: She digs you, man. Antonio: Aw, yeah. Rating: B- In the parking lot, Joe Sexy gives a quick run-down of his feud with Big Cat, promising to “get him out of the picture” tonight. Rating: B+ [B]Match #6:[/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Big Cat[/COLOR] vs. [COLOR="Red"]Joe Sexy[/COLOR] in a parking lot brawl Big Cat comes out to look for Sexy, but suddenly he’s nowhere to be found. Cat stalks around before Sexy out of nowhere comes from behind a car and pops Big Cat with a tire iron. With the bigger man down on one knee, Sexy locks in a half nelson choke with the iron. Sexy goes for the quick cover but Big Cat kicks out at two. He goes back to the tire iron, driving it down into Big Cat’s lungs before trying another cover. Big Cat presses him out and gets to his feet. The two heavyweights trade punches until Big Cat takes control. Big Cat drives Sexy onto the hood of a car with a MASSIVE spinebuster that leaves a tremendous dent in a huge white sedan. Climbing up onto the car, Big Cat tries a powerbomb off the hood, but Sexy counters it and the two end up on the hood trading punches. In a nasty spot, Big Cat grabs Sexy’s head with both hands and drives him into the windshield, causing it to spider-web and causing Sexy to start bleeding profusely. A few punches to the forehead open up Sexy even more, and he rolls off the hood and starts retreating backstage while Big Cat pursues. Sexy knocks over random props, including a buffet table, on his way out, as Big Cat just lumbers through, chasing after him. Sexy finds a chair and waits for Big Cat, cracking it over the big man’s head. But Cat stays on his feet, only to take another shot. Sexy goes for a third, but Big Cat catches it and tosses it aside. Chokebomb from Cat, and Sexy is down. Sexy slowly gets to his feet, only to get the Big Cat Pounce straight into a cement wall! 1-2-3! [B]Winner: Big Cat Brandon with the Big Cat Pounce at 13:41. Rating: B+[/B] Crippler’s Notes: A mindless brawl with a fair amount of setting up spots, but the crowd dug it, and are buying Big Cat as a top guy. Backstage, Sammy Bach and Acid are in Acid’s locker room. Acid is silently stretching as Sammy talks him up for his upcoming match. Acid shows no sign of recognition, suddenly getting to his feet and walking out the door. Rating: B+ [B]Match #7:[/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Acid [/COLOR]vs. [COLOR="Red"]Marat Khoklov[/COLOR] w/ the Guru The size difference here immediately comes into play as Marat tosses Acid like a rag-doll, sending him flipping and flopping with a few quick punches and a shoulder block. Acid keeps springing to his feet though, frustrating Marat, who tries to grab Acid around the neck. Acid ducks low and takes out Marat’s legs with a sweeping kick that leaves the giant on the ground. Acid quickly hops up top and catches Marat with a two-footed dropkick that sends the giant reeling backwards. Springing up, Acid hits a quick combination of punches and kicks, ending with a spinning punch that leaves Marat dazed in the ropes. The Guru gets on the apron and starts shouting something at Acid, who turns to the manager and plants him with a cartwheel kick that knocks him off the apron and onto the entrance ramp. Acid turns around to walk into a MOSCOW LARIAT that nearly knocks off his head. Nemesis: Well, that’s it, Acid is dead. Khoklov picks up Acid and signals for the Moscow Legend Powerbomb, but even Marat Khoklov can’t powerbomb Acid, who reverses into a facebuster. With the giant on the ground, Acid locks in the Acidity test! The crowd is going nuts as Marat has nowhere to go! He taps out! [B]Winner: Acid by pinfall at 6:55. [/B] [B]Rating: A[/B] Crippler’s Notes: I was against this finish, as I don’t think people will ever buy Acid as a champion, but for one night only, on a pay per view named after him, I’ll cut him a break. Backstage, Rich Money is looking unusually focused. Rich: I’ve been one of the greatest wrestlers in this sport for a decade, and everywhere I’ve ever been, I’ve been a champion. Jack Avatar, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, I know you and Zimmy Bumfhole are in the middle of a war, but I want what’s best for this business. I want this promotion to eclipse those rednecks who love TCW. I want EWF to be the top promotion on the planet. But that’s never, ever gonna happen with a pretty boy nobody champion like you. Rich Money sells tickets. Rich Money moves merchandise. Rich Money sells pay per views to all the working class SOB’s who wish to god they made in a year what I make in a week. With Rich Money as the face of this promotion, as the face of this industry, as the face they put on the Wheaties boxes, you, Jack Avatar, and all you people, will see why Rich Money is… worth… every… penny. Rating: A* Crippler’s Notes: Rich is improving on the mic, but at this point, the crowd is so rabid they’d give anybody a big reaction. [B]Match #8:[/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Jack Avatar[/COLOR] © vs. [COLOR="Red"]Rich Money[/COLOR] for the EWF World Heavyweight Title Jack comes out first, bouncing back and forth, looking absolutely full of energy. Big reaction from Money as he comes down, but he doesn’t even get his warm ups off before Jack is on him with a flurry of quick punches and a roundhouse kick that drives Money outside the ring. Emma: Has this match even started? Mitch: They rang the bell as soon as Jack went after him! Emma: It just goes to show you that Avatar knows he can’t beat Rich Money in a fair fight! Outside the ring, Jack stays after Money with a few more hard shots and an Irish whip into the barricade. Jack gets on the apron to break the count, then turns and goes for a diving clothesline off the apron, but Money ducks it. Rich Money takes over with some punches and gets both men back in the ring. Money hits a stalling suplex and then follows that up with a shoulder lock. Emma: Money’s doing a great job taking away Avatar’s quickness! With the crowd rallying around him, Jack gets to his feet and elbows out of the hold, before going off the ropes full tilt, dodging a clothesline, and hitting the leaping clothesline, driving both men down. A slow cover gets a 2 count. Money takes control with some punches, tossing Avatar into the corner. Two clotheslines in the corner leave Avatar struggling to stand, so Money sets him up for the superplex. Avatar recovers in time and forces Money off before hitting a splash for a 2 count. Quick mat-wrestling sequence follows, as both men get a 2 count before Jack gets back to his feet and hits a t-bone suplex that practically folds Money inside out. Money gets to his feet only to walk into a spinning dropkick that drives him back down. Springboard splash out of the corner gets Jack yet another 2 count. Jack and Money trade punches, but out of nowhere Money catches Jack’s arm and turns it into a crossface in the middle of the ring! Emma: Avatar’s in trouble! We could have a new world champion right here! Money torques into the hold, stretching back Avatar’s head as the crowd starts chanting for Avatar to make a comeback. Emma: He can’t move, this could all be over! Nemesis: Money did a great job setting this up, taking advantage of Avatar’s miss on the outside, then working over the shoulder earlier. Excellent strategy from a solid veteran. Jack inches towards the ropes, but Money stops him. The crowd rallies up again, and this time, in a ridiculous display of athletic ability, Jack Avatar rolls through the move, wrapping his feet in the ropes. Money reluctantly breaks the hold, a look of flat out shock on his face. Nemesis: What’s it going to take to beat this kid? Money calls for the Cash Flow, but Avatar blocks Money’s kick attempt and hits an enziguri that drives Money into the corner. Jack to his feet, and the crowd gets fired up as Jack goes into the opposite corner to set up the Avatar splash. He gets a running start, but Money pulls the ref in between the two men, and Shane Stones falls hard. Nemesis: Another solid move from the veteran. Mitch: Looked like cheating from where I’m sitting. The two trade punches before Rich Money hits a blatant field goal kick, dropping Avatar to his knees. Mitch: That bastard! He cheats the first chance he gets! Money signals for the Cash Flow, but Avatar catches the foot again before hitting an Identity Crisis Cutter out of nowhere! Money is down and out, but Avatar’s still struggling to stand. Mitch: He’s gotta wake up the ref or none of this is gonna matter! Out from the back, Remo slides in with a steel chair! Mitch: Look out, here’s Remo, and we know what a score to settle he has with OH MY GOD! Remo stalks Money, then, seeing Avatar staggering to his feet, he plants the champ with a brutal chair shot. He tosses the chair outside the ring, then lifts up Avatar and hits the Destroyer! Rich Money is on his knees, and he’s got a big smile on his face. Mitch: OH MY GOD! Was this planned all along?! Remo wakes up the referee at the same time Rich Money makes the cover. 1-2-3! Mitch: MY GOD, what a travesty here! Emma: I’m with Mitch. This is absolutely disgusting! Shane Stones hands Money the belt, and he holds it up to the fans, who boo the hell out of him in response. Remo gets in the ring and holes up Money’s arm, the two celebrating in the middle of the ring. Emma: What a disgrace! Wait a minute, this could be bad! The two heavyweights notice Avatar getting to his feet. Before he can take any action, Remo hits a stiff kick that lays out the former champ. Remo picks up Avatar, and runs him straight into a belt shot from Money. Mitch: Wait a minute! Here comes Alicia Strong! Alicia comes bolting into the ring and immediately starts trading punches with Remo while Rich Money slides out of the ring. After ducking a punch, Alicia forces Remo over the top. Mitch: Thank God for Alicia Strong! No sooner are the words out of his mouth, then Steve Frehley enters the ring. He measures Alicia, who turns around right into a huge tackle. Mitch: OH MY GOD they were in on it together! Remo, Money and Frehley are all in the ring, stomping away at the two faces. A Frehley’s Comet to Alicia leaves her out cold, while Money lifts up Avatar and drives him down with the Cash Flow, sending Avatar’s head straight into the title belt. Emma: Ladies and gentleman, we apologize, but that’s all the time we have! Tune in to EWF Destruction this Saturday for all the latest developments! [B]Winner and new champion: Rich Money via interference from Remo at 24:04. Rating: A*[/B] Post-Match Rating: B+ Crippler’s Notes: Jack really brought his A-game here. He’s such a freak athlete out there, but what really impresses me is his ring presence. He’s got the psychology of a 10 year vet in a 25 year old’s body. This kid is the real deal. Money has been solid, but I’ve been arguing with Jack from day 1 that it’s too early to put the belt on a guy that’s been in the company less than six months. Things ought to be interesting.

[NoNeck]

[QUOTE=lazorbeak;464999] Rich Money is… worth… every… penny. [/QUOTE] Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Great catchphrase. :D

[Rathen4]

Who the heck voted this a two star?! Keep up the good work :)

[lazorbeak]

[quote=ewf.com]News, notes, and EWF Destruction Preview! EWF received an impressive 6.69 buyrate, making it the second grossing pay per view in EWF's history, and was viewed live by 22,859 fans. [B]Sam Keith's Old School Rant[/B] Another great pay per view from EWF, Acid Drop was a tremendous success from everybody all around. Rich Money may have an ego, but hey may have a point about drawing money for EWF. Both of EWF's top drawing pay per views were headlined by Money (Money vs. Remo's feud-ending ambulance match headlined Passion for Pain, our highest grossing pay per view ever). High Energy has been very successful at revitalizing Groucho and Mainstream Hernandez. We've got high expectations for this duo, despite their size. Matt Gauge has really impressed everyone backstage, and has already gotten most of us to forget another certain egomanaical 2nd generation star. I watched SWF's latest Pay Per View, Times of Trouble, and I have to say, I'm glad I'm where I'm at. I never, ever thought I'd see Jumbo Shrimp or Mikel Alonso main eventing a pay per view. SWF champion Kurt Laramee defended his tag titles (along with Big Smack Scott) rather than defend his SWF title. Maybe I've been listening to Nemesis too much, but Hell's Bouncer's title defense against Lead Belly was probably the highlight of the night. Eric Eisen can't come back from injury soon enough. I'm not even going to talk about T-Rex's feud with Robbie Retro. That's all for this week. Until next time, I am Sam Keith, and this has been the old school rant. [B]EWF Destruction Preview[/B] Last Wednesday, at Acid Drop, Rich Money shocked the world by defeating Jack Avatar with help from Remo Richardson. Post-match, Money, Remo, and Steve Frehley assaulted the former world champion and his tag team partner Alicia Strong. What will Money have to say for himself at EWF Destruction, and how will Remo explain his sudden shift in friends? In matches booked at Acid Drop, Wolf Hawkins will face Matthew Gauge, and Darryl Devine squares off against Barry Kingman. After the pay per view, Scout challenged Antonio Garcia to a match at EWF Destruction. The New Wave and Raw Power feud has gone on for months, and apparently has spilled into the singles division. In tag team action, High Energy takes on the international superheroes, the Green Angels (Emerald Angel and Nicolas Lopez, wrestling as El Angelo Verde) in what is sure to be a fast-paced encounter. In a match booked just hours ago, Randy Bumfhole is slated to take on Steven "The Future" Parker. Will "the future" prevail over EWF's resident "dude"? Dark Lobster told Plague that darkness was waiting for him? Find out what that means for Plague at EWF Destruction. All this and MORE at EWF Destruction![/quote] [B]Quick picks:[/B] Darryl Devine vs. Barry Kingman Wolf Hawkins vs. Matthew Gauge Scout vs. Antonio Garcia High Energy vs. The Green Angels Randy Bumfhole vs. Steven Parker (ooc: thanks for the feedback, folks!)

[lazorbeak]

[B][SIZE="4"][COLOR="Red"]Show 2: EWF Destruction[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] Live from Virginia Park Fields, VA Pre-Show Towers of Power over Jesse Christian and Steve Flash at 5:39 when Mick Muscles pinned Flash. Rating: B- Dark Angel defeated Guide in 9:44 by pinfall with a Descent Into Hell. Rating: B+ [B][SIZE="2"]Beginning of Live Show[/SIZE][/B] Mitch Naess and Emma Chase welcome the Virginia fans to the show. Mitch: Last Wednesday, we saw one of the most disgraceful acts in EWF history, as Jack Avatar had his title stolen from him thanks to the shocking acts of Remo Richardson. Emma: That's right Mitch. And we've been told that Rich Money, Remo Richardson and Steve Frehley are in the building, tonight. We've also heard that Jack Avatar is here. Mitch: Well last night, Jack was brought down by a numbers game; I doubt he'll fall for the same trick twice. Emma: Well, we'll find out tonight. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BarryKingman.jpg[/IMG] [B]Match #1: Darryl Devine vs. Barry Kingman[/B] A real contrast of styles defined this match-up. Devine started out with a series of kicks, and tried to utilize his high impact style against Kingman’s technical prowess. In the end, Kingman picked up the victory with a fisherman’s suplex to pick up the 1-2-3. [B]Winner: Barry Kingman by pinfall in 6:54. Rating: B[/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BlackEagle.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/LobsterWarrior.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarkAngel.jpg[/IMG] Backstage, Plague is hanging out, alone as usual. Dark Lobster approaches him, seconded by Dark Angel. Lobster: The darkness rises, and out of the murky depths, the demon slumbers no longer. The leviathan is coming, my friend. Prepare yourself. Plague: What are you talking about? Do you guys just not get it? I’m through with all of this. Lobster: The darkness will fall. Lobster turns to leave, but at the last moment he turns and lays out Plague with an obsidian claw. A moment later, Dark Angel joins him, and the two stomp away at the outcast superstar, leaving him down and out. [B]Rating: B-[/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RandyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/StevenParker.jpg[/IMG] [B]Match #2: Randy Bumfhole vs. Steven Parker[/B] Parker received a decent pop from the Virginia fans, but couldn’t match Randy’s experience, falling victim to a Bumfhole Buster after almost five minutes of almost total control. [B]Winner: Randy Bumfhole by pinfall with a Bumfhole Buster in 4:41. Rating: C+[/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Scout.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/FrederiqueAntonioGarcia.jpg[/IMG] [B]Match #3: Scout w/ Ana Garcia vs. Antonio Garcia[/B] After a commercial break, Scout came out to face Antonio Garcia, following Akima’s victory over Guide at Acid Drop. Antonio came out and flexed at Scout, before smiling at Ana Garcia. Once the match began, both men were all business, as Scout utilized his lightning-quick technical style to take control of the match, forcing Garcia to try to keep up. Garcia seemed to have the match under control when Scout countered a Russian Legsweep into the Special Force, forcing Antonio to tap out, much to the delight of Ana Garcia. [B] Winner: Scout by submission in 8:06 with a Special Force. Rating: A[/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Remo.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SteveFrehley.jpg[/IMG] After a commercial break, the cash register opens, and Rich Money makes his way down to the ring, flanked by Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson. The crowd gives them a huge chorus of boos as Money takes off the title from around his waist and hoists it in the air, showing it to the crowd while Remo and Frehley look on. Money is all smiles as he grabs the mic. Rich: Last night, I showed everyone, I showed you people that I am a man of my word! I said I would win this title, and I beat Jack Avatar, 1-2-3! I said I would sell tickets, take this company to new heights, and that’s what I’m doing. Already, we’ve sold out house shows in record numbers as you people, you people just can’t get enough of me, can you? It’s like looking at a masterpiece, you can’t look away. Mitch: A masterpiece or a car crash? Huge “SWF sucks” chants, and Frehley looks around at the crowd, suddenly looking shocked. Rich: You fans are smarter than you look. Haha, yeah, you people must know Remo and I go way back? Former tag team champions? One of the most dominant forces to ever hit… ahaha, well I want to move beyond all that. Because back east, they never gave a guy like me, a guy with talent, a shot at the title. But now, I can show you, show all of you, why I am worth… every… penny! The crowd starts up another chant, this one “Remo sucks!” Remo grabs the mic, apparently hearing enough. Remo: You people wonder why I did it? Why I cost that blonde pretty boy his belt? I’ll tell you why. Listen to me! The crowd cuts him off with a bigger “Remo sucks!” Remo: I don’t suck! I am a dominant force, I am one of the best workers in all of the Supreme… in all of EWF! And how many title shots did I get? How much respect did I get? Rich, he showed me who was the one who was wrong, thinking that if I worked hard enough, maybe somebody would give me my shot. But now, we’re here to take our shot! The crowd gets riled up again at that, after getting quiet during most of Remo’s mediocre promo. Steve Frehley grabs the mic from Remo. Steve: You know, I haven’t been here long, but I haven’t found a guy that can hang with the dark destroyer. You cats may not respect it, but I’m a champion! I’m a force of nature! And me, Remo, and Rich? We’re taking over. This is a revolution, kids. And nobody, not Jack Avatar, not Alicia Strong, nobody is gonna stand in our way! Mitch: They talk a tough game, but it took three of them to take out the EWF tag champs. Emma: You’re absolutely right, Mitch, I- Emma’s cell phone starts ringing. Mitch: Is that? Ladies and gentleman, the championship committee is calling Emma Chase, apparently in reaction to the recent statements of Rich Money and his accomplices. Look at this, Emma is getting in the ring! [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/EmmaChase.jpg[/IMG] Emma Chase makes her way up the steps and into the ring, a big smile on her face as Rich, Remo and Frehley make some room for the former commissioner. Emma: Rich, just now, I got a call from the championship committee for the first time in months. It seems your recent actions got the attention of the committee, and they have had an emergency meeting. Rich and his cronies exchange a smile, happy to have caused backstage chaos. Emma: But the championship committee has found a solution. Tonight, you, Rich Money, will take on Jack Avatar! The crowd goes nuts as Money can’t hide his shock. Remo kicks at the turnbuckle while Frehley stares down Emma. Emma: And that’s not all, Rich. The committee has informed me that if either Remo Richardson or Steve Frehley get involved in the match, you will be immediately stripped of your Title! Rich grabs the mic from Frehley, clearly upset. Rich: This is total BS and you know it, Emma! I beat Jack fair and square at Acid Drop, and now I’ve got to do it again? Emma: I don’t make the rules, Rich. Tell your two friends they can go home for the night. Rich considers saying something else, but instead turns and exchanges a few words with his posse. The three of them turn to leave the ring, but not before Rich mouths “I won’t forget this” to an unimpressed Emma Chase. Emma makes her way back to the broadcast booth once the three men are up the ramp. Mitch: Great job out there, Em. Tonight, a rematch from Acid Drop! A chance for Jack Avatar to take back his title! Emma: Just doing my job, Mitch. [B]Rating: B (the three man taunt) Rating: B+ (Emma’s announcement) [/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GrouchoBling.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MainstreamHernandez.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/EmeraldAngel.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/NicolasLopez.jpg[/IMG] [B]Match #4: High Energy (Mainstream Hernandez and Groucho Bling) vs. the Green Angels (Emerald Angel and El Angelo Verde)[/B] As soon as Emma was back in the ring, High Energy made their way out for their match against international superstars the Green Angels. The four men engaged in a lightning-fast, high flying display that ended when Mainstream was left with Emerald Angel on the inside, where he was able to hit the Apparition #14. [B]Winner: High Energy by pinfall with the Apparition #14 in 5:32. Rating: C+[/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeyMinnesota.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SammyBach.jpg[/IMG] After a break, Joey Minnesota is walking through a hallway backstage. Finding a locker reading “Acid,” Joey barges in, only to find Sammy Bach watching a DVD. Hearing Minnesota enter, Bach leapt to his feet and stood face to chin with the Minnesota superstar. Joey: I’m looking for Acid. Sammy: He’s not here. Joey: I see that. I came looking for a match. Figured anybody that could pin Marat Khoklov was somebody I needed to add to my victims list. Sammy: Oh yeah? You think you could take out the most dynamic man in this business? You? Joey: Hey, at least I’m ready to wrestle, not watching chick flicks by myself in another guy’s dressing room. Sammy: Chick flick? Man, I could take you out any day of the goddamn week! Joey: Yeah? Well I’ll tell you what. Since Acid’s not here, I’ll settle for you. You and me, next week, EWF Destruction. I’ll put you back on your back, Sammy. Joey smirks before turning and leaving an obviously incensed Sammy Bach in the middle of Acid’s dressing room. Sammy: Mean Girls is a chick flick? [B]Rating: B+[/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/WolfHawkins.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MatthewGauge.jpg[/IMG] [B]Match #5: Wolf Hawkins w/ Dawn the Cheerleader vs. Matthew Gauge[/B] Wolf takes control of the match early, going for the Full Moon Rising after controlling the opening minutes. Gauge reverses into a crucifix and takes the momentum, grounding Hawkins with his innovative ground-game, locking in several neck and shoulder locks to the Lone Wolf. Hawkins powers out, and takes back control, hitting a superplex that leaves both men down and out. After a slow recovery, Wolf goes for the brainbuster, but Gauge slides out behind Wolf and hits the lung blower. With Wolf on his back, Gauge locks in the Proton Lock in the middle of the ring. Wolf desperately finds to the very limit of the ring, but can’t quite reach the ropes before he is forced to tap out in desperation. Having picked up the victory, Gauge retreats up the ramp, smiling wickedly at Dawn, who comes in to check on Hawkins as he struggles to get to his feet. [B]Winner: Matthew Gauge by submission in 13:40 with a Proton Lock. Rating: A*[/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Jessie.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AliciaStrong.jpg[/IMG] Backstage, Jessie is on her way through a hallway when she freezes in her tracks. In front of her, Alicia Strong is laid out, on her back, coughing up blood. Jessie calls in the medics as she checks on the 2nd Generation superstar. Jessie: Are you okay? Who did this to you? Alicia: ………………………… Alicia coughs up some blood on Jessie's cheek as the medics arrive. [B]Rating: B+[/B] Mitch: Remo and Frehley were sent home earlier tonight, you don’t think they could be behind that brutal assault? Emma: I wouldn’t put anything past those two. Jack may be at a huge disadvantage with his partner out cold in the back. Mitch: But remember, the slightest interference from Frehley or Remo will forfeit Money’s title. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney.jpg[/IMG] Match #6: Jack Avatar vs. Rich Money © for the EWF World Heavyweight Title Jack comes out to the biggest pop of the night, but looks unusually serious as Rich Money makes his way into the ring. Avatar attacks right off the bat, hitting a thesz press and whaling away at Money until the ref pulled him off. The two superstars engage in a test of strength, but a leg sweep allows Money to take out Avatar. Money locks in a neck lock, laying face down to torque Jack’s neck. With the crowd’s support, Avatar rallies to his feet, only to get clubbed back down with a series of punches to the neck and shoulder. Money locks in a camel clutch, jerking up on Avatar’s already sensitive neck. Emma: I have to hand it to him, Rich is doing a great job of keeping Avatar’s high-impact offense grounded. Mitch: That’s true, but I know Jack won’t let that stop him. Avatar breaks the hold, but is visibly favoring his neck, allowing Money to continue to dominate the match with a series of punches, taking Avatar down with a European uppercut. Money scoops up Avatar and hits a piledriver, only to get a 2 count. Emma: I have to wonder if Jack has enough left in him to recover from the damage he’s taken! The crowd starts chanting “Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!” faster and faster, and seemingly in response, Avatar gets back to his feet, ducks a lariat, and hits the leaping clothesline, causing the crowd to go absolutely nuts. Money staggers to his feet, but a standing spin kick from Avatar leaves him reeling. Mitch: I knew it! I knew he wouldn’t let himself be taken down! Avatar signals for the Identity Crisis as the crowd pops like crazy. Avatar measures Money as he staggers back to his feet… and he hits it! Money is out cold in the middle of the ring! Avatar slowly gets to his feet, favoring his neck. Suddenly, a large figure hops over the barricade. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeSexy.jpg[/IMG] Mitch: Waitaminute! That’s Joe Sexy! What’s he doing here! Before Emma has a chance to answer, Sexy slides into the ring and blasts Avatar with a brass knuckles punch in the middle of the ring in full view of referee Francis Long. Long calls for the bell, awarding the match by DQ to Jack Avatar. [B]Winner: Jack Avatar by disqualification in 8:46 when Joe Sexy interfered. Rating: A*[/B] Avatar is bleeding from the forehead from the punch as Sexy grins over him. Money gets to his feet and smiles, shaking Sexy’s hand. Mitch: These guys are like locusts! How much of EWF is in Rich Money’s pocket? Sexy tosses Long from the ring as Money approaches him, getting the knuckles and getting into a ready crouch to take Avatar out with another punch. Mitch: This is just completely reprehensible. How can everyone in the back allow this to happen? [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BigCatBrandon.jpg[/IMG] As if on cue, the jungle drums beat and Big Cat comes sprinting into the ring. Rich Money ducks out as Joe Sexy goes right after the face-painted powerhouse, and the two trade blows until Big Cat takes control, whipping Sexy off the ropes before coming off the opposite side of the ring with a Big Cat Pounce that lays Sexy out. Avatar gets to his feet and gives a head-nod to Big Cat before pointing out Rich Money, who has taken the title and is holding it up in one hand as he retreats to the back, running his mouth to let Avatar know he’s still the champion. Avatar’s music plays, as he’s announced the winner, and he and Big Cat shake hands before heading to opposite turnbuckles to psyche up the crowd. Mitch: Well, Money may still be champion, but Avatar picked up an impressive win right here tonight. Emma: It makes me wonder if any more EWF superstars are members of Money’s little clique. Mitch: It’s definitely something to think about. We’ll see you next week, folks! [B]Rating: A*[/B] Overall Rating: A

[lazorbeak]

[quote=ewf.com]News, notes, and EWF Destruction preview for July 10, 2010 [b]Sam Keith’s old school rant[/b] This week we introduce a new feature on the rant, where I go over an old EWF show a year after the fact. Sounds fun, no? I asked EWF superstar Steve Flash for some insight (the guy is already doing half of my job on a weekly basis), and he recommended the April 2009 show Passion for Pain, headlined by Jack Avatar vs. Marc DuBois in a steel cell. I'm excited (no, not that way). Main Street (Cat Quine and Mainstream Hernandez) defeated Towers of Power (Mick Muscles and Danny Rushmore) to defend the EWF Tag Titles. Three of these guys still work for us, and matches like this show us why. Unfortunately, the real star of this match was Cat, who stood up to Mick Muscles and was easily the most over worker in the ring. It’s too bad she was unwilling to give up her spot at AAA. Jesse Christian defeated Joey Minnesota and Antonio Garcia Wow, this is a decent match, but it’s hard to believe there’s a time only a little more than a year ago where Joey Minnesota was in the second spot in the card jobbing to Jesse “the working man” Christian. Wanda Fish defeated Darryl Devine to defend the EWF North American Title This was a great match. It’s a shame that a year later, Devine is still languishing on the same spot on the card. Wanda Fish has always been a favorite of mine, and I think her mismatched team with Alicia Strong was what sold me that we could be a legitimately integrated, competitive promotion. She was already receiving a fair amount of cheers in this match, despite cheating at every opportunity. Marat Khoklov defeated Guide This was before Scout signed with us in September, so Guide was pretty much just feeder to Khoklov. Remember, this was after Guide’s face split from Emma and Acid and his tag partner Plague (the two were called Air Strike), during a short and uneventful midcard face run. Fun fact: while he held the tag team title, Guide won the North American title to become our first ever double champion. Even funner fact: he beat Jack Avatar to do it. Imagine that happening today. This was a typical Marat match, where he just whales and whales on a guy until finishing him off. The Amazing Bumfholes defeated the Island Boys Back then, the Bumfholes were part-time face performers, while we were trying to build up the Island Boys into a legit tag team threat. Unfortunately, Kid Toma managed to cost himself his job and left Akima floundering. This match was pretty mediocre, too. Probably the worst of the night so far, although if it were to headline SWF today, Jerry Eisen would sell it as the second coming in tag team form. Jay Chord defeated Alicia Strong Ugh, do we have to talk about this? All right, Jay was being pushed as an ******* second generation superstar (he was very good at it), and started a feud with Alicia. A very solid match, but I’m going to give Alicia all the credit, because now she’s main eventing here while Jay Chord took his ball and went to Japan. Crane and Black (Elmo Benson and Groucho Bling) defeated the Gauge Brothers I could’ve sworn Elmo had already signed with NOTBPW by this time, but here he is, bouncing around the ring and showing zero psychology. I’m biased, but I think both Gauge boys are far better served as separate stars. (Steve Flash Note: Elmo was signed by NOTBPW in June) Acid defeated Sammy Bach in a ladder match Why was this a ladder match? It’s a little overbooked, and probably the worst match between these two that I’ve ever seen, but that said, there’s still some ridiculous spots, including a flying chair kick spot into the ring that Sammy sold like he’d been shot out of a cannon. Does Sammy Bach even [i]have[/i] bones? Sometimes I wonder. Eddie Peak defeated Steve Frehley Hard to believe that back then Frehley was working individual matches as a special attraction barely a year ago. The rest of the roster has really caught up with him. Oh, and this match was completely amazing; the kind of great, out of control brawls that nobody does better. I would love to get Eddie Peak back into an EWF ring under ANY circumstances, preferably as a heel. That sanitized Eddie Peak I get on TCW just isn’t the same. This guy was undefeated in EWF in 2008, and by December 2009 he was out of the company. There was a lot more mileage there, I just know it. Jack Avatar defeated Marc DuBois to defend the EWF Title Okay, Jack’s a good worker, a great worker even, and Marc DuBois is one of the best out there, but somehow, when they get in the ring together, it’s like they’ve known each other their whole lives. Okay, this match is hard to describe, it’s so good. The story was, Avatar was in the middle of a big feud with DuBois where they had already faced each other at the last 3 pay per views. Then, on EWF Destruction, Steve Frehley interfered in Avatar’s title match with Peak, and Jack Avatar ended an 8 month undefeated streak. DuBois immediately challenged for the title, and for the first time, these two were given the main event spot. They delivered in one of the most ridiculously amazing main events I’ve ever seen. I just wish it went longer than the 28 minutes they were given; I’ve never seen such an incredible mix of athleticism and storytelling in the past ten years in a promotion not named NOTBW (okay, Tommy Cornell and Angry Gilmore are better technical wrestlers, but it’s not fair to even compare). How good was this feud? This match was the #6 match of the year, and their match at Empire Unleashed was voted the #1 match of the year. Of course, DuBois won match of the year honors in 2008, too, in his match with Lobster Warrior. Will Marc DuBois ever return to the EWF? I certainly hope so. It's been almost six months since we saw Marc in an EWF ring, and frankly, that's way too long. And that was this week's old school rant. I remain, Sam Keith [b]HUGE EWF signing![/b] EWF management has been informed that a superstar that has held world championships in both the United States and Japan has signed a contract with EWF. While this man’s identity remains a closely guarded secret, it is likely this superstar will debut in the coming weeks. [b]NOTBPW releases[/b] When it rains, it pours for NOTBPW. After losing three television shows in three months, the promotion has already lost four major stars: Shooter Sean Deeley, Whippy the Clown, Harrison Hash and Nate Johnson have all received releases from the company, and will be looking for work in a major American promotion. In addition, Shooter Sean Deeley has made it clear he would be willing to import his style into Japan. [b]EWF Destruction Preview![/b] Sammy Bach vs. Joey Minnesota These two men have past history that goes back years, the two last meeting this past January. Joey’s recent rise into the main event may give him an upperhand, but Sammy does own a victory over the Minnesota native from a 2008 edition of EWF Meltdown. High Energy vs. Remo Richardson and Steve Frehley Remo and Frehley requested a match for the #1 contendership this past week, and will face High Energy for the right to face the tag champions at EWF Riot Act. The ‘Outcast Warrior’ Plague vs. Dark Angel Plague’s recent actions have incensed Dark Lobster and his follower Dark Angel. Can the Outcast Warrior prevail, or will the Dark Lobster continue to “teach” Plague the error of his ways? Emerald Angel vs. Marat Khoklov In a match with international implications, the Far-Eastern Superhero takes on the Eastern Giant. Can Emerald Angel win this modern David vs. Goliath, or will Marat stop his losing streak at one? Greg Gauge vs. Squeeky McClean © for the North American Title Former two time North American Champion Greg Gauge finally has received a rematch for a title he lost to McClean back in March at EWF Last Chance. Can the second generation superstar regain the gold, or will the “Straight and Narrow” man prevail? All this plus appearances from former EWF Champ Zimmy Bumfhole. What will Rich Money have to say about Big Cat Brandon’s recent actions? Find out all this, and possibly even more(!) this Saturday on EWF Destruction![/quote] [b]Quick Picks[/b] Sammy Bach vs. Joey Minnesota High Energy vs. Remo Richardson and Steve Frehley The Outcast Warrior Plague vs. Dark Angel Emerald Angel vs. Marat Khoklov Greg Gauge vs. Squeeky McClean

[lazorbeak]

As a way to help people get familiarized with the current state of EWF, every week I'll be adding a character profile similar to what you'd see on a worker's profile page on a wrestling company's website, but significantly more detailed. [quote=ewf.com] [CENTER] [B]ZIMMY BUMFHOLE[/B] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG] [/CENTER] At the young age of 27, Zimmy Bumfhole has already been a champion in two major promotions, including a world heavyweight title reign that would have seemed impossible a mere three years ago. Zimmy and his brother Randy, as the Amazing Bumfholes, became one of SWF's top midcard acts, and in 2008, the Bumfholes began a nearly year long feud with The Almighty Dollar, a team comprised of now-EWF members Rich Money and Remo Richardson. The feud would see Zimmy and Rich Money become unexpected tag team champions until they lost them to Sam Keith and Remo Richardson. His contract winding down, Bumfhole chose to leave SWF, losing in his final match along with his brother Randy against the Almighty Dollar. The duo remained active in EWF as infrequent competitors, each brother challenging and falling short against EWF's first champion Eddie Peak. After winning a short feud with the Island Boys (Akima Brave and Kid Toma), the Bumfholes wrestled a tag match against Acid and Eddie Peak, who were in the midst of their six month feud. The finish saw Zimmy refuse to tag in to face Peak, leaving Randy to suffer a vicious series of head butts and crucifix powerbomb while his brother looked on coldly. This would begin a feud between the two brothers that would last months, with neither able to convincingly defeat the other. Zimmy remained a sporadic competitor, wrestling for the world title in 4C and going on a 3 month tour with the Japanese promotion INSPIRE. A tougher and undeniably more arrogant Zimmy Bumfhole re-appeared in EWF in fall of 2009 and began an impressive winning streak leading up to EWF No Exit. No longer distracted by a feud with his brother or commitments overseas, Zimmy showed newfound focus entering the 2009 Tournament of Champions where he defeated Eddie Peak in the first round in a significant upset before going on to defeat Sammy Bach and Wolf Hawkins, winning the Tournament of Champions and earning a title shot at Jack Avatar at November's EWF Meltdown. The win catapulted Zimmy to such stardom that PGHW gave him a trial to work with the recently debuted STONE Yoshikawa against several established tag teams. In EWF, Zimmy's newfound confidence led him directly into conflict with "All-American" Jack Avatar, and Zimmy shocked the world when he defeated Avatar in an incredible match at Meltdown to end Avatar's 7 month title reign. After winning the title, Zimmy agreed to work exclusively for EWF. Zimmy would defend his title against numerous superstars including Greg Gauge, his brother Randy, Remo Richardson and Sammy Bach. But his most significant feud was with Wolf Hawkins, a longtime title challenger against Jack Avatar who had recently turned face thanks to the influence of Dawn the Cheerleader. Zimmy successfully defended the title against Wolf at Empire Unleashed in January and Rome Burns in February, but on the final episode of EWF Extreme Warfare, Jack Avatar shocked the world by becoming a two time champion when he pinned Joey Minnesota in a triple threat match, gaining a title shot against Zimmy for the first time in four months. Claiming Avatar had never beaten him one on one, Zimmy was awarded a rematch at EWF Last Chance, but fell short in a match that fell short of expectations. Promising to redeem himself, Zimmy was awarded another shot at Avatar's title in May at EWF Level Up, but the two wrestled to a draw when neither man was able to answer a 10 count. Promising to earn another shot at Jack by destroying his tag team partner Alicia Strong, Zimmy defeated the daughter of the legendary Sam Strong, but was challenged to a rematch at Acid Drop, where he once again defeated Strong. Now, the biggest ego in EWF is at a crossroads: on the one hand, Jack Avatar is no longer the EWF champion, but on the other, Avatar is the only man that has beaten Zimmy one on one in the nine months since he developed his new attitude. Will the former champ chase the title, or the only person that seems to have his number?[/quote] (ooc: It's not too late to make your predictions, folks) [b]Quick Picks[/b] Sammy Bach vs. Joey Minnesota High Energy vs. Remo Richardson and Steve Frehley The Outcast Warrior Plague vs. Dark Angel Emerald Angel vs. Marat Khoklov Greg Gauge vs. Squeeky McClean

[Purple Cowboy]

Nice stuff so far; I especially like your previews & the wrestler profiles should be a cool feature. Nice job pulling an A* out of Steve Frehley too I never seem to use him very well. Sammy Bach vs. [b]Joey Minnesota[/b] High Energy vs. [b]Remo Richardson and Steve Frehley[/b] The Outcast Warrior Plague vs. [b]Dark Angel[/b] Emerald Angel vs. [b]Marat Khoklov[/b] Greg Gauge vs. [b]Squeeky McClean[/b]

[lazorbeak]

[COLOR="Red"][SIZE="3"]Show #3: EWF Destruction[/SIZE][/COLOR] Live from the Louisiana Auditorium, LA. July 10, 2010, Week 1 Pre-Show Steve Flash over Lauren Easter in 4:38 by pinfall with a Flash Bang. Rating: B Jackie G defeated Enforcer Roberts in 8:31 by pinfall with a Crashing On. Rating: B+ [b]Beginning of Live Show[/b] Mitch Naess and Emma Chase welcome the fans at home, and quickly run through the card, highlighted by Joey Minnesota taking on Sammy Bach. After quickly running through the previously announced matches, Zimmy Bumfhole’s music hits, and the biggest ego in EWF makes his way to the ring in a pair of tight jeans and a collared shirt (popped, of course). Zimmy gets a huge negative reaction as he makes his way to the ring. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG] Emma: Well, after a week off, Zimmy’s back, and it doesn’t look like he’s too happy. Mitch: He probably didn’t know what to do with himself without the EWF fans booing him. Emma: I’m sure he’s got unfinished business with Jack Avatar. Finally in the ring, Zimmy grabs a mic and looks out at the audience. Rather than his usual playing to the crowd, Zimmy looks genuinely annoyed at the boos he’s receiving. Zimmy: Can you folks give me a minute? [Boos continue] This is important! Last week, I wasn’t here, but like you people, I was watching Jack Avatar get a rematch for that title. And just like all of you, I was hoping to see Avatar pull it out and win back that EWF World Title. But you know what? He didn’t do it. He couldn’t get it done. Mitch: Jack won that match! Emma: Is Zimmy suddenly an Avatar fan? Zimmy: But unlike the rest of you, who were hoping to see your hero triumph, I had more selfish reasons. You see, Jack, the way I see it, we’ve got unfinished business. At Level Up, you couldn’t beat me. Yeah, you held onto that belt, but I deserve another shot at that belt, at my belt, and it starts tonight. Jack Avatar, I am calling you out right here, right now, to a match! [crowd pops the idea] Now hold on, hold on, I’m not finished. The thing is, your win last week, you got a rematch in your contract. When I beat you [i]next[/i] week [crowd boos], I get that match, I get the title shot, and I get back my EWF Title. And so we don’t get a repeat of our match two months ago, I’m out here saying you and me: Iron Man match! Mitch: Wow, what a match that will be. Emma: Assuming Jack accepts the match. Mitch: Have you ever known Jack to back down from a challenge? Zimmy: I know you’re not here, Jack, but I want you to think long and hard. You want a title shot, you should have to earn it, and what better way than beating the greatest wrestler to ever step foot in an EWF ring? Jack, you beat me in this ring, 1-2-3, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s over. Mitch: Well, that certainly makes a tempting offer for Jack; Zimmy has been a constant thorn in his side for months. His point made, Zimmy pulls off his shirt and poses for the crowd, just to annoy every male member of the audience. Apparently back in good spirits, the smirking superstar makes his way back up the ramp, his point made. [b]Rating: A*[/b] Mitch and Emma briefly go over Zimmy and Jack’s history, starting with Zimmy ending Jack’s first title reign back in November, then the triple threat match where Jack pinned Joey Minnesota to regain the title, then the two single matches the two fought in March and May, where Zimmy was unable to win Jack’s title. After this quick history lesson, High Energy’s music hits, and it’s time for a match! [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GrouchoBling.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MainstreamHernandez.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Remo.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SteveFrehley.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #1: High Energy vs. Remo Richardson and Steve Frehley[/b] Remo and Frehley have separate entrances, and Mitch and Emma question whether the team will be able to function as a cohesive unit. The duos recent troubles with Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong is briefly recounted before the match begins. Remo begins in the ring with Mainstream, and immediately takes the offensive, showing a newly found mean-streak with a series of brutal kicks, the last one a pump kick that knocks Mainstream out of the ring. Emma: It’s going to be tough for High Energy to overcome this tremendous size and strength advantage, Mitch. Mitch: It’s definitely going to be an uphill struggle. Remo continues hammering on Hernandez before dragging him into his corner to tag in Frehley. Frehley immediately works over Mainstream with a series of punches in the corner. Frehley whips Mainstream into the opposite corner and tries to follow up with a Dark Destroyer in the corner, but Mainstream somehow hops over it, making a quick tag. With both members of High Energy in the ring, the duo hit a double dropkick, taking Frehley to the mat. Groucho hits a senton splash before sprinting towards the turnbuckle. He comes back as Frehley gets to his feet and goes for a cross body, but Frehley catches the cruiserweight and hits a fallaway slam that sends Groucho crashing outside of the ring. Frehley follows Groucho outside, but he doesn’t notice Mainstream climbing to the top turnbuckle. A moment later, a suicide dive off the top lands on both Groucho and Frehley, laying out all three men. Mitch: Mainstream just throws his body around like a missile. High Energy will have to keep up this pace to pick up this win. Frehley gets to his feet and rolls into the ring, but Groucho gets to his feet and climbs onto the apron. After jawing with Frehley, Groucho leaps up on the ropes before springboarding off to hit a nice hurracurana that tosses Frehley across the ring. Groucho tags in Mainstream, who immediately measures for the superkick. Mitch: What an upset we could be witnessing! Mainstream comes in with the kick, but Frehley ducks under it, leaving Mainstream disoriented enough for Frehley to leap up and spin into the Frehley’s Comet! Groucho climbs up on the turnbuckle as Frehley goes for the cover, but Remo cuts him off in mid-air with a spear that folds the super junior in half! 1-2-3! Mitch: OH MY GOD what a spear! We’ve got new #1 contenders, folks! Emma: That means Jack and Alicia will have to deal with two of the most dangerous men in the sport to keep that title! [b]Winner: Remo Richardson and Steve Frehley by pinfall with the Frehley’s Comet at 8:31. Rating: B+[/b] After a break, a howling wolf lets the fans know that Lone Wolf Hawkins is on his way to the ring, with Dawn the Cheerleader in tow. Wolf is in his gear, and the female fans are going nuts, as usual. Wolf’s smile disappears as a member of EWF management hands him a mic. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/WolfHawkins.jpg[/IMG] Wolf: Matt Gauge! Last week, you got me to tap out, right here, in this ring. I gotta say, that’s pretty impressive. I mean, that puts you in pretty elite company. Since I came back to the states, there’s a short list of guys that have managed to beat me in this ring, 1 on 1. Jack Avatar, Zimmy Bumfhole, Rich Money… am I forgetting anybody, Dawn? Smiling, Dawn holds her hands up over her face, highlighting her eyes. Wolf: Of course, Acid. And now, Matthew Gauge? One of these things is not like the others! I know you’ve got talent, I’ve seen it, but I don’t believe, I can’t believe that you can beat the Lone Wolf at Riot Act! Mitch: Wow, a challenge from Wolf Hawkins! We could have two matches for Riot Act booked by the end of the night. Emma: Assuming Matt’s up to the challenge; after all, he already beat Wolf once. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MatthewGauge.jpg[/IMG] Matthew Gauge’s music hits, and the arrogant 21 year old makes his way to the edge of the ramp. Matt: How does it feel, Wolf? How does it feel to peak at age 24? Wolf doesn’t answer, but signals for Gauge to get in the ring and see if he’s peaked. Matt: By the time you’re 30, they’ll box you up and ship you off to USPW! You talk about going toe to toe with Cornell while I was in high school, that’s all well and good, but last week, I beat you, fair and square. And at Riot Act, I’ll show you why I am the future of this business! And Wolf, you’re going to be a footnote, a trivia question: ‘Who was Matthew Gauge’s launch-pad to international superstardom?’ Wolf halfway gets out of the ring, but Gauge is already backing up the ramp, smiling from ear to ear. [b]Rating: A[/b] Mitch: I just can’t believe the egos on some of these young superstars at EWF. Emma: Careful, Mitch, next you’ll be complaining about those durn kids on your lawn. Mitch: Wolf Hawkins is not even 25 years old, and Matthew Gauge is calling him over the hill? I think I’ve already lapped him. Emma: Fortunately, I don’t know what that’s like. Mitch: Oh yeah? How well do you remember the 70’s? Emma: Let’s focus on the action. It looks like Greg Gauge is making his way to the ring! [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GregGauge.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SqueekyMcClean.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #2: Greg Gauge vs. Squeeky McClean© for the North American Title[/b] The announcers put over Greg as a two time champ, and emphasize that he hasn’t had his rematch during Squeeky’s three month title reign. Squeeky comes to the ring and the two immediately start jawing. Greg starts the match up with a punch that takes Squeeky down, and a moment later a second punch drops Squeeky a second time. Another punch, a kick, and a whip into the ropes sets up a picture perfect back body drop that sends Squeeky sailing. Solidly in control, Greg goes to his ground game, but Squeeky gets to the ropes. Squeeky gets a thumb to the eye and hits a bulldog that drives Gauge to the ground. Squeeky goes for a german suplex, but Greg lands on his feet hits Squeeky with a german suplex of his own, earning a 2-count. Squeeky takes over again after reversing a half-nelson attempt, and puts Gauge in a head scissors, but Gauge puts a foot on the ropes. Mitch: These two are really putting on a technical clinic out here tonight, folks! Squeeky goes for a suplex, but Greg counters it into a falling neckbreaker that leaves both men down in the ring. Before Squeeky can get to his feet, Gauge crawls over and locks up Squeeky’s feet in the deathlock. Squeeky realizes what’s happening, and desperately starts trying to get to the rope as Greg bridges into the necklock, locking in the Proton Lock! Squeeky tries to pull the second generation superstar to the ropes, but is forced to tap out in the middle of the ring! New champion! [b]Winner and NEW EWF North American Champion: Greg Gauge by submission at 12:51. Rating: A*[/b] Mitch: That Proton Lock is certainly a deadly maneuver. The sky appears to be the limit for the Gauge brothers, even if they’re pursuing success in very different ways. Instead of calling himself “a future legend,” Greg just wins. This is already the youngsters third run with the prestigious North American Title! Squeeky gets to his feet and looks like he’s on the verge of tears as the referee helps Gauge put on the North American belt. Before Squeeky can leave, a hip-hop version of a Sex Pistols song starts up and Jackie G comes out to the entrance wearing a sideways cap, a wifebeater t-shirt and a pair of baggy jeans. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackGiedroyc.jpg[/IMG] Jackie: Tough luck mate. I’m not one to fly another man’s flag, but Greg Gauge, you got it done. A stain on the North American title has been erased, and Squeeky is back to being another cracker without any bling. But Squeek, you know the strongest rhyme-dropper East of the Atlantic brought somethin’ for ya. Squeeky looks confused as Jackie just grins. A moment later, he produces a Forty of Olde English Malt Liquor. Squeeky just looks at Jackie in disgust as the Brit opens the bottle and offers it to Squeeky. Jackie smiles and pours out a mouthful on the ramp. Jackie: Pour some, ‘cause Squeeky’s reign is ovah! Jackie’s music hits as he retreats back up the ramp. Before disappearing, he takes a swig of the Olde English, taunting Squeeky one last time as the segment ends. [b]Rating: B[/b] After a commercial break, Emerald Angel makes his way to the ring to take on the Beast from the East, Marat Khoklov [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/EmeraldAngel.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #3: Emerald Angel vs. Marat Khoklov w/ The Guru[/b] Mitch and Emma put over Emerald as a former champion in Japan, but he’s obviously at a tremendous disadvantage against the man-mountain Khoklov. Khoklov just stands there and lets Emerald Angel throw a few punches. Emerald hits a beautiful dropkick, but Khoklov doesn’t even stagger. Back on his feet, Emerald leaps up and wraps himself around Khoklov’s chest, but the powerhouse just presses Angel clear and up over his head, dumping him outside. Angel quickly jumps up on the turnbuckle and hits a flying missile dropkick that actually staggers Khoklov. Seeing his success, Angel goes after Khoklov’s legs with a series of quick kicks that leave the big man on his knees. Angel sprints into the corner, and comes flying with a corkscrew crossbody, but Marat catches him and gets to his feet before twisting Angel into a thunderous powerslam. Khoklov bounces off the ropes and comes back with the Moscow Lariat, leaving Emerald Angel out cold. The man-mountain covers Angel’s chest with one massive hand and gets the 1-2-3. [b]Winner: Marat Khoklov by pinfall at 3:52 with a Moscow Lariat. Rating: B+[/b] Remaining in the ring, Khoklov is handed a mic. Emma: Does Khoklov even speak English? Mitch: I don’t know, we’re used to hearing The Guru speak for him. Khoklov: Khoklov is most dangerous man in wrestling! If Western Corporation keeps sending puny masked men, Khoklov will destroy them. Khoklov wants to fight equal! Khoklov want to fight giant! Any man can look Khoklov in eyes and stand against the strongest man in Russia welcome to come into ring and fight the mighty Khoklov! Emma: What an unprecedented challenge! I don’t think Khoklov has ever faced someone his own size in EWF. Mitch: I wonder if that’s not part of his strategy: maybe there’s no one that size even capable of stepping into the ring with that man. Emma: I don’t know; maybe Marat’s tired of being the bad guy, always picking on smaller workers? Mitch: I don’t think it’s ever bothered him before. The crowd boos as The Guru raises Khoklov’s arm, fawning over the size of the Man Mountain as he lumbers to the back. [b]Rating: B+[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BlackEagle.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarkAngel.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #4: Plague vs. Dark Angel[/b] Next up, Plague finally gets in the ring against one of the men that has recently been harassing the outcast superstar after he turned down a position within their group at Acid Drop. The match is an excellent, back and forth match between these two cruiserweights that still kept the kind of psychology that only a worker of Dark Angel’s caliber can bring to such a fast-paced encounter. The match ends after Plague was perched in the corner for a high risk maneuver, and with the ref checking on Dark Angel, Dark Lobster ran down and clubbed Plague with an obsidian claw, knocking the high-flier off his perch and onto the outside. Turning to find Plague outside of the ring, the referee began a slow ten count, but Plague was unable to recover, and the outcast was left clutching his neck as Dark Angel was declared the winner. Lobster slid in to raise Dark Angel’s opposite arm, supporting his fellow Darkness Falls accomplice. [b]Winner: Dark Angel by count out at 10:41 after interference from Dark Lobster. Rating: B+[/b] After a break, the cash registers open, and the EWF World Champion makes his way to the ring in his suit and tie. Remo Richardon and Frehley are noticeable in their absence, which Mitch and Emma speculate could be related to their match earlier in the night. In the ring, the EWF Champ grabs a microphone. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney_alt1.jpg[/IMG] Rich: You know, you people might not realize it, but I’m a pretty nice guy. Rich pauses as the crowd voices their opinion. Rich: I am, I’m a good guy. You know why? Because I know my business, and I stick to it. There’s rumors, there’s gossip backstage, that a certain ‘power couple’ is forming, but you know, that’s not my business. It’s not my business what Lobster and his boys do to a midget in a bandana. It’s not my business what Squeeky McClean does with his time. It’s not my business. This is my business. Rich points to the title on his waist. Rich: Saving this company is my business. Taking on anybody that’s [i]earned[/i] a title shot is my business. But Big Cat Brandon, Big Cat, last week you decided my business was your business. You decided to interfere in the champ’s business. I get it, you want to be a big man, you want a shot at this title. Well, show me what a big man you are. Come out here, right now, right here, and face me! Here, kitty-kitt… Rich is cut off by the jungle beats and Big Cat comes sprinting out towards the ring. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BigCatBrandon.jpg[/IMG] Mitch: Rich Money might’ve just asked for more than he bargained for! Emma: That may be an understatement. It looks like the champ’s not interested in a fight after all! Rich Money ducks out of the ring even as Big Cat enters. The big heavyweight reaches at Money from inside the ring, nearly grabbing him by the hair as the champ beats a path towards the back. Mitch: It looks like Money’s all talk! And look, Big Cat’s giving chase! The hunt is on! Big Cat is outside the ring and starts sprinting after Money, causing the champ to turn tail and flat out run up the ramp! Money disappears behind the curtain with Big Cat several steps behind. He makes a last push towards the curtain when suddenly Steve Frehley pops out from behind the curtain, tackling Big Cat and leaving him down and out on the ramp. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SteveFrehley.jpg[/IMG] Mitch: OH MY GOD Steve Frehley just hit the Dark Destroyer on Big Cat Brandon! With the big man down, Rich Money and Remo Richardson emerge, stomping away at the prone heavyweight. With a big smile on his face, Money grabs a mic. Rich: You want in my business, Brandon? You got it. You and me, at Riot Act. Mitch: Can you believe this? Rich Money agrees to defend his title against Big Cat Brandon in three weeks, but only after a cowardly sneak attack! Money and his cronies stand over Big Cat before finally making their way to the back as several officials check in on Brandon, who struggles to get to his feet. [b]Rating: A*[/b] Emma: Somebody tell him he’s got a title match; I don’t think he was conscious when Money announced it. Mitch: Stay with us folks, after a break, EWF Destruction continues as Sammy Bach takes on Joey Minnesota. Back from the break, Sammy Bach’s music hits, and his match is next! [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SammyBach.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeyMinnesota.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #5: Sammy Bach vs. Joey Minnesota[/b] This is Sammy’s first time main eventing in months, so he is understandably anxious as Minnesota makes his way down. As the match begins, Sammy brings his tremendous energy, rolling under a clothesline attempt and catching Minnesota with a high monkey flip as he came off the ropes. Keeping the advantage, Bach hits a hook kick and a springboard splash gets a quick two count. With Minnesota struggling to get to his feet, Bach goes for the SSP, but Minnesota gets the knees up, and Bach is left favoring his ribs. Taking advantage, Minnesota locks in a bow and arrow lock, and as Bach tries to fight out of it, switches it into a kneeling abdominal stretch. Emma: Joey is just such a technician, it’s going to be difficult for Bach to regain control of this one. A weak “Sam-my” chant starts up, and Bach pushes out of the hold and comes back with a calf kick off the ropes that takes Minnesota down. Favoring his ribs, Bach hits a snap-mare and follows it with a dropkick to the neck that leaves Minnesota favoring his neck. Seeing an opportunity, Bach sets up the Bach on Your Back, but Minnesota grabs Bachs arm and whips Bach into an arm-bar out of nowhere. Back in control, Minnesota hits some punches and a belly to belly suplex that earns him a 2 count. Minnesota sets up for the Empire Spiral, but Bach rolls through and lands behind Minnesota. Minnesota recovers the advantage and gets a 2 count with a german suplex. Bach hits a dropkick, but nearly collapses favoring his ribs. The charismatic cruiserweight rebounds off the second rope, going for another springboard splash, but Minnesota rolls out of the way. Scooping up a dazed Sammy, he quickly hits the Empire Spiral. 1-2-3! [b]Winner: Joey Minnesota by pinfall at 13:53 with an Empire Spiral. Rating: A[/b] In the ring, Minnesota celebrates in the corner before turning to face Sammy, who is still not on his feet. Mitch: Oh no, not again! Hasn’t EWF seen enough of this? Minnesota slides out and grabs an empty chair next to Emma and slides back in the ring, ready to blast Bach senseless. Suddenly Acid makes his return, appearing perched in the corner. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Acid.jpg[/IMG] Mitch: Where did Acid come from? Emma: He’s like a ninja, Mitch. He’s naturally sneaky. Hearing the sudden cheers from the audience, Minnesota brings down the chair, confused. He turns, and is promptly rewarded with a front dropkick that connects with the chair, driving it into his own head and leaving him down and out. Acid stands silently over Minnesota as Bach gets to his feet. Emma: Can you believe that? Acid appears out of nowhere and drives that chair straight into Minnesota’s skull. You can be sure the issues between these two men are just beginning! Mitch: Folks, I apologize, but that’s all the time we have! We’ll see you next week! [b]Rating: B+[/b] Overall Rating: A

[lazorbeak]

[quote=ewf.com]EWF Destruction Preview! Last week, Zimmy Bumfhole requested a “rubber match” against Jack Avatar. Avatar has accepted Bumfhole’s challenge and will face the biggest ego in EWF this Saturday at EWF Destruction! Tune in for the biggest free match in EWF history! Also last week, Big Cat Brandon received an EWF title shot following a brutal 3 on 1 attack from Rich Money, Remo Richardson, and Steve Frehley, a group being called “The Revolution” following Steve Frehley’s interview from several weeks ago. What will the Revolution have in-store for Big Cat with only eleven days separating the encounter at Riot Act? Big Cat has agreed to a match with Dark Angel, but it remains to be seen whether he will be his usual dominant self following last week’s attack. In other action, Marat Khoklov recently made a “superheavyweight” challenge to any superstar that could “look him in the eye.” Will Khoklov’s challenge be answered? Is there anyone on the roster even capable of looking the Man-Mountain in the eye? Tune in for all this plus Raw Power in tag action and Greg Gauge’s first title defense, a contest against Jackie G.[/quote] [b]Quick Picks[/b] Jack Avatar vs. Zimmy Bumfhole Big Cat Brandon vs. Dark Angel Jackie G vs. Greg Gauge© for the EWF North American Title Darryl Devine and Barry Kingman vs. Raw Power Bonus: Who will answer Marat Khoklov’s challenge?

[lazorbeak]

[quote=wrasslinradio.com][b]EWF News and Notes[/b] Last week's EWF Destruction received a 30.56, down considerably from last week's 34.51. EWF management indicated that they were not surprised, and hoped that this week's Jack Avatar/Zimmy Bumfhole match will elevate ratings back to the level of EWF Destruction two weeks ago. In related news, sources indicate that Sammy Bach, once considered a major player by EWF management, is not expected to main event in the immediate future. EWF already has a crowded main event scene, and Bach's cruiserweight style and lack of size puts him at odds with the majority of EWF's main eventers. Jesse Christian on the Outs? Sam Keith has recently been gaining more influence backstage, considering his past history with former SWF members and his sons. This could be a negative for Jesse Christian, who blasted Sam Keith in a shoot interview following a quick release from SWF after a trial in 2008. Christian has been a member of the EWF locker room for nearly two years, but is not known to have many friends backstage. Christian's recent lack of TV time could be a sign that he could be on the way out. TCW match of the year candidate? This week TCW surprised many by featuring Sean McFly and Angry Gilmore on free TV in a non-title match at the one hour main event. The match is already being discussed as a potential match of the year candidate.[/quote] [b]Quick Picks[/b] Jack Avatar vs. Zimmy Bumfhole Big Cat Brandon vs. Dark Angel Jackie G vs. Greg Gauge© for the EWF North American Title Darryl Devine and Barry Kingman vs. Raw Power Bonus: Who will answer Marat Khoklov’s challenge?

[lazorbeak]

[SIZE="3"][COLOR="Red"]Show #4, EWF Destruction[/COLOR][/SIZE] Live from the Ranch in San Antonio, Week 2, July 17, 2010 Pre-Show Lauren Easter defeated Soetsu Akechi in 2:39 by submission with a Figure Four Leglock. Rating: C Towers of Power defeated The UK Connection in 3:48 when Danny Rushmore defeated Adam Matravers by pinfall. Rating: C+ Dark Lobster defeated Steve Flash in 6:31 by pinfall with a Lobster Trap. Rating: B- [b]Beginning of Live Show[/b] Mitch Naess and Emma Chase welcome the audience to the Ranch in San Antonio, a scene of many classic EWF contests. Both announcers put over how huge Jack Avatar vs. Zimmy Bumfhole is, how the two have traded victories and the record presently stands at 1 win for each with 1 draw in the past 8 months. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BarryKingman.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AkimaBrave.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/FrederiqueAntonioGarcia.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #1: Darryl Devine and Barry Kingman vs. Raw Power[/b] Devine and Kingman enter separately and appear reluctant to work together, with Devine starting the match against Antonio Garcia. The two go through a quick chain wrestling sequence of hip tosses, snap-mares and counters before Garcia takes over with a knee to the gut and tags in Akima Brave. Raw Power work over Devine, keeping him isolated while Brave goes through some brawling offense. Garcia gets tagged back in, but Devine recovers, hitting a fisherman DDT. Brave comes in and Raw Power goes back to the double team game until Kingman blind tags himself in. Brave and Devine both go to the outside, and Garcia gets hit with a german suplex that gets the surprise victory, 1-2-3. [b]Winners: Darryl Devine and Barry Kingman via pinfall at 6:03 after a german suplex. Rating: C[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DawntheCheerleader.jpg[/IMG] The cameras cut to backstage, where Dawn the Cheerleader is on the phone, on the verge of crying. After a few brief words, she hangs up, looking distraught. Matthew Gauge suddenly pans into the scene, wearing his sunglasses. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MatthewGauge.jpg[/IMG] Matt: What’s wrong, girl? Dawn: It’s my granddad. He had a stroke this morning. Matt: Man, I wish I had some stroke around here… Dawn looks up at Matt, shocked. Dawn: What?! Recognizing the situation, Matt takes off the sunglasses. Matt: That’s terrible, Dawn. You should know, I’m here for you. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/WolfHawkins.jpg[/IMG] Matt goes in for a hug and Dawn doesn’t resist, obviously needing emotional support. At that moment, Wolf Hawkins enters from the background. His eyes bulge, but instead of confronting the two, he just turns and heads out the door. [b]Rating: B+[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackGiedroyc.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GregGauge.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #2: Jackie G vs. Greg Gauge © for the EWF North American Title[/b] As Jackie comes out to the ring, huge pieces of bling jingling on his neck, the announcers go over the events of last week, where Jackie taunted Squeeky moments after Gauge won the title. Gauge comes out to a big pop, and the two size each other up before going after one another. Gauge tries on two occasions to draw Jackie into a chain-wrestling sequence, but Jackie sticks to a kick-kick-punch-punch offense, refusing to be drawn into a true wrestling contest against the champion. As much as the crowd pops for Jackie’s gimmick, they seem annoyed that Jackie is limiting himself to such a “sports entertainment” moveset, even earning himself a few boos from the crowd. Predictably, Squeeky McClean runs down to ringside and starts jawing with Jackie, trying to get into the ring. The distraction proves to be enough to allow Gauge to hit a brutal spike back suplex that leaves Jackie stunned in the middle of the ring. Seeing his opportunity, Gauge goes for the Proton Lock, and locks it in on the stunned Brit. A moment later, Jackie taps out, as Squeeky stands at the entrance ramp, grinning. [b]Winner: Greg Gauge via submission at 9:55 after a Proton Lock. Rating: C+[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AliciaStrong.jpg[/IMG] Alicia Strong is at the vending machine (ignoring the camera) buying herself a bottled water. As she turns to leave, she walks right into Joe Sexy, who is wearing his trademark creepy grin. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeSexy.jpg[/IMG] Joe: Hey Alicia. Alicia: Hey? Um, how are you? Joe: Oh, I’m great. I’m just peachy. How about you, [i]Alicia[/i]? Alicia: I’m fine. Look, not to be rude, but what do you want? Joe: Right to the point. I like that. You might’ve heard, I’m always on the lookout for future Mrs. Sexy’s, and I thought, man, how great would it be if we had some Sexy-Strong kids? I mean, you’d have to retire, obviously. Alicia: Joe, we’ve been over this. I have no interest in you. At all. Alicia turns to leave, but Joe cuts her off. Joe: I know we’ve talked about it, but now I’m curious. Is there somebody else? Come on, you can tell your old pal Joe-sy? Alicia hesitates. Alicia: You know, Joe? That’s none of your business. Alicia walks off, but the camera sticks with Sexy, who looks like the cat that ate the canary. Mitch: What do you think Joe meant by asking Alicia if there was somebody else? Emma: Sexy’s just fishing for trouble; it’s nothing new. The guy gives me the creeps. [b]Rating: A[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BlackEagle.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/LobsterWarrior.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarkAngel.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/StevenParker_alt.jpg[/IMG] The announcers go back to talking about Jack and Zimmy’s history when Plague is seen entering the arena, already in his gear and bandana. Before he even reaches the locker-room, he’s attacked by a man with a black mask covering his face. Dark Lobster and Dark Angel quickly turn the tide against Plague, and the three men leave him face down in the hallway. Dark Lobster: You’re not irreplaceable, Plague. Steven is the new disciple of the darkness that threatens to devour humanity. The Leviathan approaches, and only those that live in darkness will survive. Steven the Disciple, formerly Steven Parker, gives one last kick to Plague before all three men leave the outcast down and out. [b]Rating: C[/b] Emma: I can’t believe Plague puts up with this, week after week! Anyone else would have the common sense to either join up with Dark Lobster or at least get himself some backup. Mitch: Well, Plague has a history in groups like Lobster’s, so I can understand his hesitations in joining one now. And besides, with a name like ‘Plague,’ I’m sure it’s not easy to make friends. Backstage, the camera goes to Rich Money, who immediately gets a loud reception from the San Antonio crowd. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney_alt1.jpg[/IMG] Rich: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the Money Pit! Now I know, all you people, you’re all just sitting on pins and needles, waiting for a couple of cruiserweights hit some planchas or whatever it is midgets do to hurt each other, but I’ve got bad news for you; up next is Big Cat Brandon’s match against a hand-selected opponent: Dark Angel. Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking ‘but wait, Rich, why not pick Remo Richardson? Why not Steve Frehley?’ Well, I’ll tell you fine folks why: because in eleven days, Steve and Remo are going to win the tag titles, giving the Revolution three out of the five belts in this pathetic excuse for a territory, and we are going to run roughshod on anybody and everybody who gets in our way. And to make sure my amigos are up to the task, I decided to bring in a little outside help. You see, Dark Lobster and I go way back, and while maybe he’s got a few screws loose, I can’t help admire the guy’s commitment to being a deranged psychopath. Now Dark Angel is a champion on three continents, including this one! What has Big Cat Brandon ever won? A piece of tin in some bingo hall in New York City? Second prize in a beauty contest? First prize in the Special Olympics face-painting contest? Big Cat, tonight you face a champion, but eleven days from now, at Riot Act, you face THE champ. And nothing can prepare you for it. Rich nods at the camera as the segment ends and the crowd gives a last hearty boo to the EWF champ. [b]Rating: A[/b] Mitch: Well apparently Rich Money doesn’t see Big Cat as much of a threat, since rather than face a member of the Revolution, Big Cat is set to face a member of Dark Lobster’s Darkness Falls faction. Emma: That’s right Mitch, but don’t underestimate Dark Angel; he has the spirit of a champion, even if he’s not the most physically dominant man in EWF. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BigCatBrandon.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarkAngel.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #3: Big Cat Brandon vs. Dark Angel[/b] Big Cat comes out first, seconded by Jessie, looking none the worse for wear as he stomps on the apron and roars at the crowd. Mitch: Well, at first glance, I’d say the Big Cat is feeling alright about his match tonight. Dark Angel comes out alone, and looks to be all business as he stares down his massive opponent. As soon as the bell rings, Dark Angel springs into action, avoiding Big Cat’s attempts to grab him, and throwing several quick kicks into the legs of the larger man. At first Big Cat shrugs off the blows, but a kick to his right kneecap sends the big man to the ground. Emma: Look at that, Dark Angel has already found a weakness from last week’s attack! He’s just so brutally efficient. It’s kind of a turn on, honestly. Mitch: Easy, Emma. Emma: Don’t call me “Easy.” Dark Angel locks in a spinning toe lock, torqeuing Big Cat’s right knee until the big man boots Angel into the corner. Stumbling to his feet, Big Cat manages a big clothesline that leaves both men down. Big Cat gets to his feet first, and lifts Dark Angel high over head, preparing for the military press out of the ring, when he suddenly collapses to one knee. Seeing his opportunity, Dark Angel hits a few quick punches and a roundhouse kick to Big Cat, leaving the big man down on the canvas. Dark Angel lifted the bigger man to his feet, only to dragon-screw him back to the mat, again working on the knee. Dark Angel locks in a reverse figure four, but Big Cat pushes out of it, obviously favoring his leg. Angel comes at Big Cat again, but this time, the big man responds with a massive clothesline. With the crowd egging him on, Big Cat gets to his feet and easily lifts Dark Angel before bringing him down on his right knee. Cat is left rolling on the mat as he re-aggravates his knee injury, but Dark Angel is slow to his feet. Dark Angel comes after Big Cat again, but only gets a powerslam for his trouble that earns Cat a 2 count. With the crowd chanting for it, Big Cat gets in position on the ropes, and as Dark Angel gets to his feet, he comes running with the Big Cat Pounce, which connects! 1-2-3! [b]Winner: Big Cat Brandon via pinfall at 13:20 after a Big Cat Pounce. Rating: A*[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] After a break, Marat Khoklov, seconded by the Guru, makes his way down to the ring. Once again, Marat picks up a microphone, which looks like a toy in his massive hands. Marat: Marat make challenge 7 days ago, and still no one want to face the greatest wrestler in all of Russia? They must know Marat will destroy them! But since I am a reasonable man, I will relax my challenge. Anyone who can stand on Guru’s shoulders and look Khoklov in the eye can have match at Riot Act. On cue, Guru drops down before Khoklov, bowing before the giant. Khoklov looks around, sure of himself, before an unfamiliar music starts up, taking Khoklov by surprise. Mitch: Is someone really going to answer Khoklov’s challenge? Emma: I have no idea, but it looks like Khoklov recognizes that music! In the ring, Khoklov is kicking at the turnbuckles, daring whoever it is to make their entrance. Suddenly, ducking just to fit under the curtain is a familiar face: a former champion in SWF and BHOTWG, a true legend in the sport, Bruce the Giant makes his way down to the ring. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BrucetheGiant.jpg[/IMG] Mitch: OH MY GOD, Bruce the Giant is here! Emma: Well, there is at least one man who can look Khoklov in the eye! Bruce slowly climbs into the ring, as Khoklov waits for him. As soon as the Giant is within the ropes, Khoklov rushes forward, but Bruce holds his ground. Mitch: He’s standing up to punches from Marat Khoklov! This is unbelievable! Bruce hits a few slow punches that send Khoklov staggering backwards, then dumps the slightly smaller giant out of the ring. Bruce celebrates in the ring as a shocked Khoklov makes his way back up the ramp. Mitch: Does this mean we have a match between these two at Riot Act? Emma: I don’t know, but that’s the kind of dream match you’re only going to see on EWF! [b]Rating: B+[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #4: Jack Avatar vs. Zimmy Bumfhole[/b] Mitch: The excitement is palpable as the main event is finally here, Emma! Emma: Calm down, Mitch. These two should put on one hell of a show! Jack makes his way down, apparently back to his old, fun-loving self, as he high-fives fans and smiles as he makes his way down. Zimmy comes out second, wearing a purple silk-shirt over his gear, playing to the women in the crowd. Mitch: These two are complete opposites in attitude and style, but inside the ring, they’re both incredibly tough competitors. The two men square off before locking up, starting up with a lightning quick headlock/reversal sequence that ends with Avatar hitting a snap suplex. Avatar follows that up with another quick suplex, but Zimmy immediately gets to his feet and the two start brawling. Mitch: And what a comeback by Zimmy. If this match continues at this pace, we may not be able to keep up with it! Emma: While you were talking, they hit four more moves. Zimmy takes control and lays out Avatar with a devastating DDT that earns a quick 2 count. Zimmy stays aggressive, hitting a number of kicks to the ribs to try to keep Avatar down. He scoops Avatar up and goes for another DDT, but Avatar reverses into a northern lights suplex! 1-2-NO! Zimmy kicks out and gets to his feet, looking shocked as Avatar squares up with him again. Zimmy goes in and hits a stiff chop that draws an “ooh” from the crowd, but a moment later, Avatar chops him right back. The two trade blows for a few more moments, before Avatar ducks a clothesline attempt and responds with a beautiful standing dropkick that hits Zimmy like a bolt of lightning, sending him crashing down to the mat. Now in control, Jack picks up Zimmy and hits the stalling brainbuster, leaving Zimmy spread-eagle in the middle of the ring. Seeing his opportunity, Jack climbs to the apron and ascends the turnbuckle. Mitch: Looks like Avatar’s getting ready to fly, but waitaminute! Zimmy was playing possum! With Avatar on the top turnbuckle, Zimmy suddenly hops to his feet and hits a run-up tornado suplex that leaves both men down. The ref begins a ten count, but Zimmy beats it. He hops up on the top turnbuckle, but misses an attempt at a diving leg drop when Jack rolls out of the way. Zimmy takes over after a few quick punches and whips Avatar into the ropes, then goes for a lariat, but Avatar ducks it again! Zimmy is slow to turn, and walks right into a beautiful bicycle kick from Avatar that connected right into Zimmy’s face! “That was awesome” chant starts up as Jack slowly goes for the cover, but Zimmy kicks out at the last second. Both men get to their feet, and start trading haymakers, both apparently out of other ideas. Mitch: This has just turned into a fight, pure and simple! Emma: Well Zimmy said he was going to end it all here, you can’t say he left any of himself in this one. Zimmy takes over and goes for the Bumfhole in One, but Avatar pushes out of it. Avatar whips Zimmy off the ropes and hits a half-nelson drop off the rebound, earning another 2 count. Jack kips up, and measures for the Identity Crisis as Zimmy gets to his feet… but Zimmy ducks it! A moment later, Zimmy hits the Bumfhole in One! Mitch: OH MY GOD this could be it! Zimmy is exhausted as he crawls over Avatar, hooking the leg to get the 1-2-NO! Zimmy sits up, his eyes wide with shock. He goes for another cover, this time using the ropes for leverage, but the ref sees it and refuses to count. Zimmy decides to climb up top, but Jack gets to his feet, and the two trade punches on the turnbuckle before Jack drops Zimmy with a SICK DDT out of the corner that kills Zimmy dead in the ring. Jack riles up the crowd as Zimmy slowly staggers to his feet, straight into an Identity Crisis Cutter! Avatar hits it, and Zimmy’s out cold! Avatar slowly makes the cover… 1-2-3! Mitch: Avatar’s done it! Avatar has beaten Zimmy Bumfhole again! Emma: Without any interference from Rich Money or the Revolution. Mitch: But they might have gotten what they wanted: Zimmy really pushed Jack to the limit out there; he might not be 100% for his tag title defense at Riot Act. Avatar celebrates in the corner, the crowd going nuts, when Zimmy gets to his feet. Avatar hops down and turns to face his long-time rival, then offers his hand. Mitch: That’s it then, Jack Avatar is burying the hatched with Zimmy Bumfhole, right here, right now! Zimmy stares at Avatar’s hand, and seems to seriously consider shaking it, but something stops him as he just stares a hole in Avatar, who eventually puts his hand down. Zimmy ducks out of the ring as the crowd boos. Without even looking back at Avatar, Zimmy grabs his silk shirt and heads up the ramp, head down and obviously upset with himself. Avatar looks on, his victory soured. Mitch: Well Zimmy said this would settle things between them, but he refused to shake Avatar’s hand! What do you think that means? Emma: I think Zimmy was just upset to learn he wasn’t the better man. Mitch: Still, Avatar must be relieved to have put this chapter behind him; now he can focus completely on the Revolution’s match for the tag team gold at Riot Act! That’s all the time we have, and we’ll see you next week! [b]Winner: Jack Avatar by pinfall with an Identity Crisis at 24:30 Rating: A* Post-Match Rating: B+[/b] Overall Rating: B+

[lazorbeak]

[quote=ewf.com][B]EWF Destruction Preview, July 24, 2010[/B] EWF is back in the Ranch for another huge night in EWF history! Last week, Jack Avatar defeated Zimmy Bumfhole in a grueling contest, apparently ending the long-standing feud between these two superstars. This week, both men will be back in action! Jack Avatar teams with Big Cat Brandon to face Remo Richardson and Rich Money, otherwise known as the Almighty Dollar! The duo have found tag success in the past, but how will they fare in their first tag match in EWF? Zimmy Bumfhole will also be active in a 6 man tag match as Acid, Wolf Hawkins and Randy Bumfhole face Zimmy, Joey Minnesota and Matthew Gauge. Wolf and Matthew have already agreed to a rematch at Riot Act in four days, and Joey Minnesota is looking for a measure of revenge after Acid’s actions two weeks ago. Also last week, Dark Lobster revealed Steven the Disciple, formerly Steven Parker, as Plague’s apparent replacement in Darkness Falls. This week on EWF Destruction, Plague faces this new member in singles action. In tag team action, Greg Gauge and Jackie G, opponents only a week ago, team up to face Squeeky McClean and his as-yet unrevealed ally. Squeeky isn’t known to have many friends within EWF- is this a new face brought in to escalate this war with Jackie G? Finally, last week, Alicia Strong and Joe Sexy exchanged a bizarre moment as Sexy seemed to indicate some knowledge of Alicia Strong’s sex life. Alicia has stated to EWF officials that she is going to demand an explanation this week on EWF Destruction. Will the sexy one be forthcoming with this information? Find out this Saturday on EWF Destruction! [B]EWF Riot Act only 4 days away![/B] The City of Sin hosts Riot Act, July 28, 2010 in what may be EWF’s biggest show to date! Big Cat Brandon receives a title shot at Rich Money. Big Cat has already defeated Money’s stable-mate Joe Sexy in a number of brutal brawls, and Rich Money can expect much of the same when Big Cat gets his first ever shot at the EWF Heavyweight title! In tag team action, Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong defend their tag team gold against Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson. Jack and Alicia have had a lot of success since Alicia brought Avatar in as a surprise partner for a title rematch against Raw Power, but they have never faced a test as stiff as this one- Remo has been a destructive force and has shown a new demonic mean streak, while Steve Frehley has yet to be defeated one on one since his EWF debut. Will Jack and Alicia overcome the size disadvantage, or will the Revolution add to their gold? Wolf Hawkins has demanded a rematch against Matthew Gauge following his surprising defeat at the EWF Destruction following Acid Drop. Will Wolf get his revenge, or will he once again be forced to tap out to the Proton Lock? Also at Riot Act, in a match with international interest, the two largest men in the sport face, one on one! Bruce the Giant is a former BHOTWG heavyweight champion, while Khoklov was the original King of Fighters for INSPIRE. Who will survive this clash of titans? More matches will be added following EWF Destruction this Saturday![/quote] [b]Quick Picks[/b] Avatar and Big Cat vs. Almighty Dollar Plague vs. Steven the Disciple Acid, Wolf Hawkins and Randy Bumfhole vs. Zimmy Bumfhole, Joey Minnesota and Matthew Gauge Jackie G and Greg Gauge vs. Squeeky McClean and TBA [b]Riot Act confirmed matches[/b] Big Cat Brandon vs. Rich Money (c) for the EWF World Heavyweight Title Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong (c) vs. Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson for the EWF Tag Team Title Wolf Hawkins vs. Matthew Gauge Bruce the Giant vs. Marat Khoklov

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[SIZE="3"]Show #5, EWF Destruction [/SIZE] Live from the Ranch in San Antonio, July, Week 3, July 24, 2010 Pre-Show The New Wave over The UK Connection when Scout hit the Special Force on Adam Matravers. B- Mainstream Hernandez over Enforcer Roberts after a Super Kick. B+ [b]Beginning of Live Show[/b] Mitch and Emma welcome the crowd back to the Ranch, once again talking about last week’s contest between Jack Avatar and Zimmy Bumfhole. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AliciaStrong.jpg[/IMG] Alicia Strong’s music starts up, and Alicia makes her way down to start the show. Mitch: Well, Alicia said she was here to demand an explanation for Joe Sexy’s recent actions, and tonight, she may have an answer! Emma: Alicia needs to watch herself; Joe Sexy is a snake in the grass, and he could strike at any moment. Mitch: Sexy’s not a snake, he’s a miserable worm. Emma: Whoah, don’t let him hear you say that. Alicia is in the ring and has a mic. Alicia: Joe, I know you’re back there. I want you to come out here, right here, right now, and explain yourself, to me, and to ALL THESE FANS! Emma: Alicia never met a cheap pop she didn’t like. After a delay, Joe Sexy’s music starts up, and Sexy comes out in jeans and a “Revolution” t-shirt (in stores now!) and slowly makes his way to the ring, wearing his trademark grin. Joe jaws with Alicia a little before climbing up into the ring, mic in hand. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeSexy.jpg[/IMG] Joe: Well, Alicia. You got me out here. Now… what, exactly do you want from me? Alicia looks out to the fans, who start chanting “Sexy sucks.” Alicia waves off the fans, turning to the heavyweight. Alicia: Joe, don’t play games with me. I know you’ve been in the back, starting rumors about me for weeks. And last week, here in San Antonio, after you ‘asked me out’ for the umpteenth time, you grinned that sneaky little grin, and I knew, watching at home on tape, that you know something you’re not telling me or these fans. So come on, Joe! You got a secret? Let’s hear it! Joe: Alicia, I don’t know what you’re… Joe trails off with a grin. Joe: I think maybe [i]you[/i] ought to explain something to these fans, right here, tonight! Alicia looks baffled under her mask. Mitch: What on earth is Sexy talking about? Emma: I don’t know, but if you shut up and listen, we just might find out! Joe: Oh, come on, Alicia. That goody goody act might have these fans fooled, but a player always recognizes a player. I can oooh, smell you from miles away. Alicia looks completely disgusted as Joe grins lecherously. Joe: So come clean with these fans! Drop the innocent act, and let them know what I already know! Alicia: Trust me Joe, I have absolutely zero idea what in the heck you are talking about! I don’t know what you think you know, but the sooner you let out your little rumor into the open, the sooner I can tell you how wrong you are! Joe: Oh, Alicia, it’s not that easy. You see, if you won’t say it yourself, you’re gonna have to [i]earn[/i] the truth, right here, tonight! You want me to spill my guts, you beat me in this ring, right here in front of all these rednecks, tonight! Alicia: If that’s what it takes, then you’re on, Joe! Tonight, I’m not just fighting for me, I’m fighting for every girl you ever hit on from sixth grade to the makeup girl on the way out here! Joe just smiles his big goofy grin, as if to say “so what?” as Alicia points at the logo on his chest. Mitch: What a match, made right here! Alicia Strong will take on Joe Sexy of the Revolution! Will Alicia force Joe to reveal the rumors he’s spread about the EWF Tag champion? Emma: I have to wonder if Alicia didn’t play right into Joe’s hands. I mean, in only four days, Alicia puts that gold on the line against Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson, and she could jeopardize her health and her title by getting in the ring one on one with a man like Joe Sexy. Mitch: Well Sexy has been in some brutal brawls, but Alicia can hold her own with any man in this company, and I’m sure she can protect herself as she goes up against Joe Sexy, tonight! Joe teases taking a swing at Alicia, then slicks his hair back, once again grinning as he leaves the ring, giving one last patronizing wave to Alicia before he heads up the ramp, leaving the tag champ fuming in the ring. [b]Rating: A*[/b] After a break, Mitch and Emma briefly go over the ongoing feud between Jackie G and Squeeky McClean, before speculating as to the identity of Squeeky’s partner for his match tonight. They’re interrupted, as Jackie G’s music hits and the rap sensation himself makes his way down to the ring. After he poses to the crowd, Greg Gauge comes out, EWF North American title around his waist. The two men stay in separate corners, obviously not forgetting their match last week. Squeeky McClean’s music hits, and out comes Squeeky, by himself. Squeeky: I know all of you have been blogging about the identity of my mystery partner, and I guess I’d better just come right out and tell you! There is nobody in EWF decent enough to be my partner, but on a trip to Canada I found a man worthy of being my partner. Natural Nate, get out here! Nate Johnson comes out, shaking Squeeky’s hand. Mitch: OH MY GOD Squeeky called in a specialist! That’s Nate Johnson, one of the greatest tag team wrestlers in the business! Emma: Well it definitely looks like Squeeky and his new partner are on the same page. That should definitely give them the advantage against the makeshift team of Jackie and Greg Gauge. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackGiedroyc.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GregGauge.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SqueekyMcClean.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/NateJohnson.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #1: Jackie G and Greg Gauge vs. The Natural Ones (Squeeky McClean and Natural Nate)[/b] Jackie starts off in the ring, and Natural Nate faces off with him. Jackie takes over to start with some brawling, but Nate counters a standing clothesline into a neckbreaker and goes to work on Jackie’s neck on the mat. Nate tags in Squeeky and the two hit a stalling double suplex that earns a 2 count. Squeeky goes after Jackie’s neck, but Jackie fights back with some punches and a gutbuster suplex before tagging in Gauge. Gauge cleans house on both heels, as Nate gets in the ring to feed clotheslines to Gauge, who eventually tosses Nate over the top. Squeeky takes advantage and hits a lungblower that earns a 2 count, but Gauge reverses a German suplex into a back suplex of his own and tags in Jackie. Jackie takes control, hitting Squeeky with a backbreaker that earns a 2 count, but gets distracted talking with Nate at ringside. Mitch: We’ve seen this before- Jackie’s biggest weakness is probably his mouth. Emma: He’s gotta learn to control himself if he ever wants that North American title! Squeeky takes advantage and goes for the quick roll-up, but Jackie rolls through and cradles Squeeky, 1-2-3! Mitch: Wow, what a great victory here for Jackie G, getting a pinfall victory over Squeeky right here in the ring. Emma: A disappointing debut for Natural Nate, but he and Squeeky looked like they were naturals as a team, no pun intended. [b]Winner: Jackie G and Greg Gauge via pinfall after a roll-up at 7:55. Rating: B+[/b] After a break, Mitch and Emma go over tonight’s card, focusing on the six man tag match and the match between Alicia Strong and Joe Sexy. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SteveFlash.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AkimaBrave.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #2: Steve Flash (with Kristen Pearce) vs. Akima Brave © for the EWF Rising Star Title[/b] Steve Flash doesn’t get much of a reaction from the San Antonio crowd, as he joined EWF after the weekly PPV era that saw EWF operate out of the Ranch. Brave gets decent heel heat, and the match starts off with him taking control with some overhead chops, working over Flash’s head and neck. Mitch and Emma put over Flash, as he hits a belly to belly out of nowhere and follows that up with another suplex that earns him a quick 2 count. Akima takes over after a monkey flip, and hits a neckbreaker on the apron that guillotines Flash before coming back in and taking over with some stiff offense. Finish comes after Brave lays out Flash with a big bodyslam, then hits the Suicide Headbutt to defend the title. [b]Winner: Akima Brave via pinfall with a Suicide Headbutt at 5:35. Rating: B-[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MainstreamHernandez.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GrouchoBling.jpg[/IMG] Before Brave heads to the back, Groucho Bling and Mainstream Hernandez appear on the screen, looking as energized as usual. The high-flying duo say they want a match against Raw Power, next week on EWF Destruction. Brave just sneers at the fun-loving duo from his position on the turnbuckle as High Energy promises to pick up the win, and the Rising Star title. [b]Rating: C+[/b] After another break, Mitch and Emma welcome the fans back to EWF. Mitch: Well, earlier tonight, we saw Jackie G pick up a victory over Squeeky McClean in tag team action. Apparently this Wednesday, at Riot Act, we will watch a triple threat match between Jackie G, Squeeky McClean, and Greg Gauge for the North American title! Emma: Well, Jackie and Squeeky have been feuding for months, we’ll see if either of them is able to focus on this opportunity for gold. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Acid.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RandyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/WolfHawkins.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeyMinnesota.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MatthewGauge.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #3: Acid, Wolf Hawkins, and Randy Bumfhole vs. Joey Minnesota, Zimmy Bumfhole, and Matthew Gauge[/b] As the six participants make their way, Mitch and Emma go over Wolf and Matthew Gauge’s recent feud, and the developing actions between Acid and Joey Minnesota. Zimmy is the last man out, and he seems unusually serious as a clip of the finish to his match with Jack Avatar is played, showing Zimmy’s similar attitude in refusing a handshake. The match starts off with Acid and Minnesota in the ring, and they go through a quick chain wrestling sequence that ends with Acid hitting a hurracurana on Minnesota, which receives a huge pop from the crowd. Acid connects with a series of kicks, keeping Minnesota grounded before hitting a standing moonsault for a 2 count. Acid tags in Randy Bumfhole, who lays out Minnesota with a clothesline, and follows it with another. Mitch: Well it looks like there’s still some bad blood between Randy Bumfhole and Joey Minnesota! Emma: And if we’re about to see some of it! Bumfhole and Minnesota trade punches until Minnesota gets knocked into his corner, where Matthew Gauge blind tags himself in. Randy doesn’t see it, and hits a running dropkick to the corner that levels Minnesota, a second later falling prey to a german suplex from Matthew Gauge. Mitch: Matthew Gauge is such an opportunist, and there he goes, going to work on Randy Bumfhole with that technical expertise taught to him by the legendary Sam Keith! What would Sam Keith say if he knew he had trained such an egomaniac? Emma: Keith would probably be proud; it’s not like he was a saint, Mitch. Gauge scores a near fall, then tags back in Joey Minnesota after Zimmy didn’t put his hand up for a tag. Minnesota hits an exploder suplex that earns a 2 count, then goes for the Empire Spiral, but Bumfhole wriggles out of it, hitting Minnesota with a desperation kick that leaves both men down and out. Both men manage to make the tag, and Acid and Zimmy Bumfhole square off. Acid goes for a quick kick, but Zimmy counters it into a dragon screw. Zimmy goes to the middle turnbuckle and hits an elbow drop, then hits a stiff kick to the jaw that leaves Acid stunned. Acid reverses a suplex attempt and hits a back body drop, leaving both men down. Acid goes for the hot tag, but Matthew Gauge gets in the ring and yanks his leg back, before setting up for the Outsider’s Edge. Wolf Hawkins has seen enough though, and gets in the ring, clotheslining Gauge to the ground, and leading to all six men getting into the ring. Matthew Gauge and Wolf Hawkins brawl in the corner until Wolf tosses Gauge over the top, while Randy Bumfhole and Joey Minnesota trade punches while the referee tries to separate them. Acid and Zimmy are on their feet, and Acid goes up top for the Acid Drop, but Zimmy runs up and hits a hurracurana of his own, before lifting the stunned Acid and driving him with the Bumfhole in One. The ref makes the count as the other four men continue brawling, 1-2-3! [b]Winners: Zimmy Bumfhole, Joey Minnesota, and Matthew Gauge by pinfall when Zimmy hit the Bumfhole in One on Acid at 13:38. Rating: B[/b] Mitch: Well obviously the bad blood between these men got in the way of a clean finish, and we’ll have to see what the future has in store for them at Riot Act. Now, a video package highlighting a match-up between two of the most physically dominant men in the sport: this Wednesday at Riot Act, Marat Khoklv, the Pain from the Ukraine, the Man-Mountain, faces off against Bruce the Giant! The package airs, highlighting Khoklov’s dominating victories over workers like Big Cat Brandon and Groucho Bling and Guide, hitting devastating moves like the Moscow Lariat or the Russian Legend Bomb. The package also goes over Khoklov’s challenge, and Bruce’s response, manhandling the Eastern Behemoth and tossing him from the ring. The final shots are of the two massive faces, Bruce’s cool and collected, Khoklov’s a picture of fury as he points at Bruce from the entrance ramp. [b]Rating: B+[/b] After a break, Mitch and Emma are back. Mitch: Emma, we have received word that a #1 contendership match has been announced, following tonight’s six man tag match. It seems the match was originally scheduled to be Acid vs. Joey Minnesota, but following Zimmy’s win tonight, he has been added. At Riot Act, it will be a triangle match between these three superstars! Emma: Well next up, Plague faces off against his apparent replacement, formerly Steven “the future” Parker, now calling himself “Steven the Disciple.” Mitch: Well it has been a rough month for Plague, and tonight, he can get some measure of revenge by taking out a member of Darkness Falls, one on one, in the ring. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BlackEagle.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/StevenParker_alt.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #4: Plague vs. Steven the Disciple[/b] Plague comes out and gets a solid reaction from the San Antonio crowd. Steven the Disciple on the other hand comes out to virtually no heat, as the hometown crowd has no idea who this guy is. The match itself is a very fast-paced blend of lucha-style mat wrestling with a few high flying maneuvers, including Plague hitting the New Jersey Turnpike to end the match and get the quick 1-2-3. The hometown San Antonio crowd seem to like what they see, and Plague gets a huge reaction from the fans following the victory. [b]Winner: Plague via pinfall after a New Jersey Turnpike at 2:56. Rating: A(?!)[/b] Backstage, Joe Sexy is standing on the backstage set, a smile on his face. Joe: You know, Alicia, tonight, you get to do for free what millions of women all over the world would pay thousands of dollars. Tonight, you lie down for me for three whole seconds baby! Now I know you want to know what it is that the Sultan of Sexy, the Swami of Suave has got on you, Alicia. But Joe Sexy, ooh, he does everything on his own terms. Because while it might feel good to hear what I’ve got to say, tonight, it’ll feel oh so much better when your boy, ol’ Joe Sexy himself, drops the bomb on you when you least expect it. And let me tell you, Alicia, when you hear what I’ve got to say, ooh, it’ll blow… your… mind. Wink wink, Alicia, wink wink. Emma: God, he just sends shivers down my spine, Mitch. Mitch: I’m sure that’s the idea. But from the sound of things, even if Alicia loses tonight, Joe will still reveal his information, just on his own terms. Emma: Well I’m sure that’s not something Alicia wants hanging over her heading into her title match up this Wednesday. She would rather settle things here tonight. [b]Rating: A*[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AliciaStrong.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeSexy.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #5: Alicia Strong vs. Joe Sexy[/b] Alicia comes out first, high fiving fans and apparently undaunted by her match tonight. Sexy comes out and plays to the crowd, wearing a Revolution shirt over his tights. After he gets in the ring, he pulls off the shirt, a grin on his face as he gets a hearty booing for his efforts. From the beginning, the mismatch in styles is obvious, as Sexy’s slow, brawling offense forces Alicia to slow down her lightning-fast technical game, and the two start trading punches. Mitch: Well Alicia can’t expect to win this way; Joe’s got at least 120 pounds on her. As if able to hear Mitch, Alicia hits an enziguri that nearly knocks Sexy’s head off. Alicia goes for a hurracarana, but Sexy counters it into a powerbomb attempt, but Alicia hops off and lands on her feet, taking out Sexy’s legs with a quick kick to the knee. Emma: Well, there’s Alicia’s speed and expertise in action, Mitch. Everybody’s the same size on their back. Alicia hits a flip over neckbreaker and gets a 2 count, but Sexy powers out. Alicia goes for a running bulldog, but Sexy pushes out of it, and catches her on the rebound with a lariat. Sexy lifts up Alicia and hits the fallaway slam. He goes for the cover, but only earns a 2 count. Alicia rallies back, countering a bodyslam attempt into a falling neckbreaker. Alicia sets up for the Strong Arm Driver, but Sexy fights out of it, and hits Alicia with a series of stomps before going for a cover that earns a 2 count. Sexy hits a stalling knee drop to Alicia’s neck, then lifts her up, setting her up for the One Night Stand. Mitch: Well, Alicia needs to do something in a hurry if she wants to hear what Sexy knows. Emma: We don’t even know that what Sexy has to say is true, Mitch. Alicia backdrops out of her predicament, and immediately goes up top, where she hits a hurracarana off the top, earning a 2 count. Alicia hits the bionic elbow and gets the crowd fired up for an Angel Driver. Joe stumbles to his feet, and Alicia immediately grabs him and sets it up, signaling to the crowd one more time. Unfortunately for her, Joe cashes in on her distraction, tossing her off of him. Alicia gets up and immediately gets set up with a One Night Stand. And Sexy hits it! 1-2-3! Emma: And Alicia gets caught playing to the fans! Joe Sexy picks up the win, and he’ll be keeping whatever secrets he has to himself! [b]Winner: Joe Sexy via pinfall with a One Night Stand at 13:15. Rating: A (don’t click)[/b] After a break, we come back to Jessie, with Big Cat Brandon in tow. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Jessie.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BigCatBrandon.jpg[/IMG] Jessie: Tonight, Rich Money, it’s you and your boy Remo against Big cat and Jack Avatar. But this Wednesday, for the first time ever, Big Cat Brandon, the King of the Jungle himself, gets a shot at the EWF World Heavyweight title. Rich Money can talk all he wants about being a champion wherever he goes, he can talk about rising to the top, but Wednesday, all your words, all your threats, all of it won’t be enough when you take on the most dangerous man in EWF. Big Cat has stood toe to toe with monsters like Marat Khoklov, freaks like Acid, and *******s like Joe Sexy. And just like those men couldn’t hold up to the Big Cat Pounce, this Wednesday, Big Cat will FINALLY win the big one. Big Cat will FINALLY get the respect he deserves. And Big Cat will FINALLY be EWF World, Heavyweight, Champion! The camera zooms in on Big Cat, who appears to be working himself into a frenzy. Big Cat lets out a roar, and charges towards the ring. [b]Rating: A*[/b] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BigCatBrandon.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Remo.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #6: Jack Avatar and Big Cat Brandon vs. The Almighty Dollar (Rich Money and Remo Richardson[/b] Big Cat comes barreling into the ring, getting a huge pop out of the crowd, who have never been more behind the guy. Jack Avatar comes out next, back to his usual, cheerful self, apparently having moved past Zimmy Bumfhole’s actions. After both faces are in the ring, Almighty Dollar come out together, both wearing black ‘Revolution’ shirts. Rich Money plays to the crowd while Remo just glares out as the duo get the biggest heel reaction of the night. In the ring, Avatar and Money start off, and immediately go into a great brawl, continuing where they left off several weeks ago. Jack takes control, and tags in Big Cat, who gets a huge reaction from the crowd. Rich Money’s eyes bulge as the 6’8”, 325 lb superstar comes charging forward, immediately tackling Money with a thesz press and pummeling Money as he tries to protect himself. Mitch: Well Big Cat is certainly a house of fire, here. You can tell he wants some payback for that beatdown the Revolution gave him two weeks ago. The ref finally gets Big Cat off Money, but Remo tackles into Big Cat, and the two start trading blows. Money tries to make it 2-1, but he’s cut off by Avatar, who starts brawling with Money. The referee warns both teams, but the brawling continues. Finally, the referee rings the bell, calling it a double disqualification. Emma: Well, this match is over, but these men don’t look like they’re done with each other! All four men continue brawling, with no one getting a clear advantage. Finally, half a dozen road agents, referees and staff separate the four men, getting all of them into separate corners. Mitch: Well, it looks like they’ve finally got these men under control. Whoah, wait a minute! With a surge of strength, Big Cat shoves back the referee and staff members holding him back, and sprints across the ring, planting Rich Money with a Big Cat Pounce! Mitch: OH MY GOD! Big CatBrandon has made a statement, right here! Emma: Maybe, but this Wednesday at Riot Act, Big Cat can’t let his temper take over, or he’ll never pick up the win over Rich Money. If he gets disqualified or lets Money get into his head, there’s no way he’ll pick up the win. Rich Money staggers to his feet, but already half a dozen workers, including Steve Flash, the Green Angels, and half the rest of the EWF undercard has pulled Big Cat out of the ring. For his part, Big Cat’s ranting and raving like a madman while Jack Avatar himself tries to cool him down. In the ring, Rich Money is handed back his EWF Title, which he drapes over the apron as he taunts Big Cat to close the show. Mitch: What a statement being made to end Destruction. Emma: A statement made by both men, that’s for sure! Mitch: That’s it for us, folks, we’ll see you at Riot Act! [b]Winner: No Contest (double disqualification) in 7:31 (bell rung at 3:38). Rating: B+[/b] Overall Rating: A

[lazorbeak]

[quote=ewf.com]On July 28, 2010, EWF Proudly Presents Riot Act, Live from the Nevada State Armory outside of Las Vegas! [b]EWF.com Exclusive Match Additions![/b] In addition to previously advertised contests, EWF.com is proud to announce three additions to the already loaded Riot Act card! First, Plague, the Outcast Superstar, will be in action, although at this point his opponent, a superstar handpicked by Dark Lobster, remains a mystery. Next, Natural Nate makes his solo EWF debut against ‘The Working Man’ Jesse Christian. Will Nate be successful in his solo debut, or will Christian prove too much for the Canadian? Finally, in six man tag action, Darryl Devine teams with High Energy to face Barry Kingman and Raw Power. Devine and Kingman have recently become involved in a clash of egos, while High Energy seeks to knock off one of the top tag teams in EWF, and possibly earn a shot at Akima Brave’s Rising Star title.[/quote] [b]Quick Picks for EWF Riot Act[/b] Pre-show Adam Matravers vs. Steven the Disciple New Wave vs. Towers of Power Plague vs. ??? Jesse Christian vs. Natural Nate Darryl Devine and High Energy vs. Barry Kingman and Raw Power Greg Gauge© vs. Jackie G vs. Squeeky McClean for the EWF North American Title Wolf Hawkins vs. Matthew Gauge Bruce the Giant vs. Marat Khoklov Acid vs. Joey Minnesota vs. Zimmy Bumfhole for the #1 contendership to the EWF World Heavyweight Title Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong© vs. Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson for the EWF Tag Team Titles Big Cat Brandon vs. Rich Money© for the EWF World Heavyweight Title Bonus: Who will be Plague’s opponent? (note: his opponent is an existing EWF superstar, not currently on the card) (OOC: The Pay Per View may not be up for awhile- school is starting back up, and apparently I need to read and write scholarly material again)

[lazorbeak]

[quote=ewf.com forums] Just before Riot Act, a wrestling magazine published a short article highlighting the fall-out between Jay Chord and Jack Avatar. Jay is the primary focus, but it's a good summary. [quote=wrestlezone.com] [b]Cutting the Chord[/b] This past January, at SWF's Pay Per View When Hell Freezes Over, Jay Chord, at the age of 20, became the youngest SWF Heavyweight champion in the promotion's history. At the time, it seemed the sky was the limit for the talented and charismatic second generation superstar. And yet now, six months later, Jay Chord finds himself completely removed from the North American wrestling scene. This Friday, July 30, Chord will make his debut with PGHW, one of the top promotions in Japan. But who knows what the future holds for this controversial figure? Jay Chord made his professional in ring debut in June, 2008, making an impressive showing in a title match against then NYCW Regional Champion Honest Frank. From the beginning, it was clear that Chord was a special talent, and it was only two months later that Chord would win his first gold, the EWF Rising Star Title, in EWF's inaugural show. And his opponent? Jack Avatar. Jack Avatar had in many ways paralleled Jay Chord's path; both were considered wrestling prodigies, both trained with the late Rip Chord, and both had a competitive nature that meant each one was driven to move on to bigger and better things. Avatar made his debut almost two years before Chord, and by Chord's 18th birthday, Jack Avatar had won the MAW championship, the Rip Chord Invitational, and had helped to start up Empire Wrestling Federation Avatar was not a household name in the US wrestling scene at this point, but with financial support from several businessman in Chicago, Avatar formed EWF as a place where top independent talent could work against one another. While the promotion was primarily geared to established stars, a "Rising Star" division modeled on SWF's former "Shooting Star" title was created, with Jay Chord as its centerpiece. Chord's victory over Avatar was only the start of his championship dreams, as over the next two years, Chord would win the EWF North American title. After signing for SWF in January 2009, Chord would rise up the card, winning the SWF Tag Team title with Jack Giedroyc, and eventually the SWF World Heavyweight championship. It seemed almost certain that Chord would be the next "homegrown" superstar to join EWF veterans Jack Avatar, Zimmy Bumfhole, and Marc DuBois; superstars that, like Chord, had risen up from the midcard and lower midcard to become huge superstars. Then, unexpectedly, Chord was out of a job. EWF had become a national entity, signing the majority of its roster to written contracts. "When Jack (Avatar) said he wanted to meet with me, I thought it was so I could sign a contract," said Chord in an interview last April. Instead, Chord found himself out of a job. "There was no warning, and no reason given. I think he was just afraid of creating a star bigger than he ever could be," said Chord in that interview. Then, the SWF Heavyweight champion found his contract at SWF running out. "I wanted a significant raise, and Eisen didn't want to spend the money to save his company," said Chord. "Joe Sexy, who I beat for the belt, was in EWF, and Rich Money, Giedroyc, and everybody else with any sense was jumping ship. They've got millions in the bank, but they were unwilling to spend what it would've taken to keep me in SWF's ring." After a win over Puerto Rican Power at Awesome Impact, it looked as though Chord might leave the company as champion, but in his final appearance, Chord lost a triple threat match between Chord, Kurt Laramee, and T-Rex that resulted in Laramee's first SWF Heavyweight title victory. But finding himself unemployed was only the beginning. On April 16, 2010, only two weeks after Jay's contract had run out, his father Rip Chord passed away, following a heart attack. In an incident that made national news, Chord physically struck then-EWF champion Jack Avatar in front of a crowd of over five hundred spectators. Chord claims he has not spoken to Avatar since the incident. But this Friday, Jay Chord gets a second chance. Chord once again finds himself at the bottom of the card, but he says that doesn't worry him. "It took me two years to go from my 18th birthday to the SWF Heavyweight championship. It won't be long before I become a champion here, too."[/quote] [/quote] [b]Quick Picks for EWF Riot Act[/b] Pre-show Adam Matravers vs. Steven the Disciple New Wave vs. Towers of Power Plague vs. ??? Jesse Christian vs. Natural Nate Darryl Devine and High Energy vs. Barry Kingman and Raw Power Greg Gauge© vs. Jackie G vs. Squeeky McClean for the EWF North American Title Wolf Hawkins vs. Matthew Gauge Bruce the Giant vs. Marat Khoklov Acid vs. Joey Minnesota vs. Zimmy Bumfhole for the #1 contendership to the EWF World Heavyweight Title Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong© vs. Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson for the EWF Tag Team Titles Big Cat Brandon vs. Rich Money© for the EWF World Heavyweight Title Bonus: Who will be Plague’s opponent? (note: his opponent is an existing EWF superstar, not currently on the card) What is the name [b]Riot Act[/b] a reference to?

[lazorbeak]

[B][SIZE="4"][COLOR="Blue"]Show #6: EWF Proudly Presents: RIOT ACT[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] Pre-show In a match for the live crowd, Steven the Disciple defeated Adam Matravers with a Future Shock. Rating: C+ [Crippler’s Note: Matravers contract is ending soon, and with EWF’s already overcrowded undercard, it is unlikely that he will be seen on EWF TV] In a second match for the live crowd, the New Wave beat the Towers of Power just before the 9 minute mark when Scout made Mick Muscles tap out to the Special Force. Rating: B- [Crippler’s Note: I’ve been pushing in the backstage meetings to put the New Wave on TV more; EWF’s tag team division has virtually disappeared as two singles stars have held the title for the past five months.] [B][CENTER]BEGINNING OF LIVE SHOW[/CENTER][/B] Live from the Nevada State Armory, just outside Las Vegas, Nevada! Mitch: Mitch Naess, Emma Chase and Nemesis are here, welcoming you, our EWF fans to Riot Act, one of the biggest shows of the year. Nemesis: That’s right Mitch. Tonight, we’re going to see some of the biggest matches in EWF history. Mitch: Big Cat Brandon gets his first ever title shot. The big man has been on an impressive winning streak, and tonight, he could end Rich Money’s run before it even gets a chance to get rolling with a win tonight. Nemesis, what are your thoughts on this historic match up? Nemesis: It’s no secret that I’ve always been very impressed with Big Cat Brandon, he paid his dues working for me on the East Coast, but tonight, I have to say, I think he’s out-matched. He might have a strength advantage, but Rich Money has shown that he’s a master of head games, and if he gets into Big Cat’s head, I think he’ll walk out of here with that EWF title. Mitch: Well, you said it, Big Cat is one of the strongest competitors out there, and we’ll see if his impressive power leads him to pull out what would be at least a moderate upset, right here, tonight! Emma: Well, as exciting as that match-up is, what about Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong taking on Revolution members Steve Frehley and Remo? Nemesis: Another huge match, and I have to say, I’m divided on this one. I hate picking against Jack Avatar, as betting against him has almost always backfired, but I’ve been so impressed with Steve Frehley and Remo since they formed this so-called “Revolution.” Remo has shown some of that intensity that made insiders call him a future world champion, and Steve Frehley has not been defeated since his return to EWF several months ago. With Eddie Peak gone, there might not be a man on the EWF roster that can take out Frehley one on one. Mitch: Well, it will certainly be a huge match, but coming up next, Natural Nate Johnson, a man that has won over half a dozen tag team titles in Canada makes his EWF singles debut against Jesse Christian. Nemesis: And Nate isn’t just a tag team specialist; he’s one of the greatest technical wrestlers in the business. Emma: I spoke with Nate before the show, and he assures me he is all-natural; he doesn’t drink soda, he doesn’t eat out, and he’s got a body fat content of 8%. Mitch: How does he live like that? Nemesis: I wouldn’t expect [u]you[/u] to understand, Mitch. Mitch: What’s that supposed to mean? Well, that match is next! [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JesseChristian.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/NateJohnson.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #1: Jesse Christian vs. Natural Nate[/b][/CENTER] Christian and Nate lock-up, and begin with some low impact chain wrestling, with Nate clearly in control as Christian struggles to keep up. Emma: That’s the expertise you’re talking about, neutralizing Christian’s power by keeping in close and working over his arms and shoulders. Christian powers out of a hold and takes the offensive, hitting a big head-butt and lining up for the three point tackle, but Nate dodges it and Jesse drives his shoulder square into the ring post. Nate takes over again, working on a few submission moves, clubbing Christian down when he tries to recover. Christian tries to power out one last time, but gets immediately countered into a Fisherman’s DDT (aka the Natural Order), and Natural Nate gets the pinfall, 1-2-3. Mitch: Well, an extremely impressive showing from Natural Nate. He definitely looks like he will be a force here in EWF, whether it be in singles or tag team action. [b]Winner: Natural Nate by pinfall at 5:53 with a Natural Order. Rating: B[/b] Backstage, Darryl Devine enters the locker room, looking around. [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Darryl: Where the hell are these guys? Darryl turns a corner, and finds Groucho Bling and Mainstream Hernandez playing a TCW videogame. [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MainstreamHernandez.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GrouchoBling.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Groucho: Here comes the finish! Mainstream: Aw, no way! Cornell would never lose to Texas Pete! Groucho: Well, history is being made! 1-2-3, baby, yeah! Darryl stands behind the two, watching. Darryl: What the hell are you weirdoes doing? We’ve got a match tonight. You two and me against Akima Brave, Antonio Garcia, and Barry Bland-man. Well? Are you ready? Groucho and Hernandez turn off the TV and get up, and share a look. Mainstream: Groucho, are you ready? Groucho: ‘Stream, are you ready? The two turn to Devine. High Energy: We’re ready! Darryl: That’s what I’m talking about! Now let’s get it done! The three men head for the door, High Energy looking particularly psyched. Groucho: Man, we better win quick, ‘fore I start to crash! [b]Rating: B-[/b] [Crippler’s Notes: High Energy has really impressed everyone backstage with their improvement. They were supposed to be a comedy midcard act, but they’re actually starting to get over. Groucho has had some heat on him backstage in the past and isn’t friends with certain Revolution members, but Sam and I have been impressed with his efforts.] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MainstreamHernandez.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GrouchoBling.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BarryKingman.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AkimaBrave.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/FrederiqueAntonioGarcia.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #2: Darryl Devine and High Energy vs. Barry Kingman and Raw Power[/b][/CENTER] Devine and Kingman start off, as Devine fights out of Kingman’s technically minded holds. Kingman tags in Akima Brave, and the Rising Star champ keeps Devine grounded, stomping away at him. Antonio Garcia gets in, and the two hit a tandem clothesline that gets a 2 count. Devine gets a big pop when he powers out of a headlock and counters into an inverted atomic drop that Garcia oversells, hopping up and down and screaming to his partner. Devine takes the opportunity to make the hot tag to Mainstream, who comes running, flooring Garcia with a flying shoulder block. Akima Brave comes in and gets fed to Groucho, who lays him out with a leaping shoulder of his own. Mainstream tosses Garcia in the corner, and Groucho, back on the turnbuckle, gets the tag, and a stacked superplex lays out Garcia. Devine and Kingman brawl on the outside while Groucho makes the cover to pick up the three count. [b]Winner: Darryl Devine and High Energy when Groucho Bling pinned Antonio Garcia after a stackerplex at 6:42. Rating: B[/b] Mitch: Well High Energy pick up the win here, and remember, they face Raw Power next Saturday at EWF Destruction. Nemesis: And I can tell you, Barry Kingman and Darryl Devine aren’t through with each other either. Devine may have the advantage tonight, but he’s yet to beat Kingman one on one. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DawntheCheerleader.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MatthewGauge.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Backstage, Dawn the Cheerleader is walking down the hallway, when Matthew Gauge comes into view. Matt: Hey Dawn, are you okay? Dawn: Yes, I’m fine. What’re you doing here, Matt? Matt: Me? I was just concerned, you know? That whole deal with your uncle, I mean your granddad. I wanted to make sure you were doing better. Dawn: That’s sweet, but I don’t need somebody looking over my shoulder all the time, Matt. Matt: You mean besides Wolf? Dawn: You’re out of line. Wolf respects me, he gets me. And you? You’re an *******. I don’t think we’re going to have any more of these backstage conversations, Matt. Matt: Why, worried somebody might get jealous? Dawn: I’m leaving. I’ll see you out there. Dawn makes her way down the hallway as Gauge just stares after her. Gauge eventually turns and walks away, but the cameraman sticks around long enough to see Wolf Hawkins waiting around the corner. Emma: More head-games from Matthew Gauge. Mitch: Yeah, but those head-games might backfire when Gauge has to face Wolf one on one, tonight! [b]Rating: B+[/b] [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/WolfHawkins.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MatthewGauge.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #3: Wolf Hawkins vs. Matthew Gauge[/b][/CENTER] Hawkins starts things off with some solid brawling, taking the advantage and picking up a quick pinfall attempt after a running neckbreaker. Gauge fights out of a stalling neckbreaker, countering it into a bridging pin attempt. Gauge takes over, working over Wolf’s neck, driving his knee into the neck. Wolf tries to get out of it, but Gauge takes over again, continuing to work over the neck, this time with a rear naked choke. Hawkins struggles into the ropes, but Gauge holds on, barely beating a five count. Nemesis: That is a veteran move from this young man. Mitch: It looked a lot like cheating where I’m sitting. Nemesis: Then turn your chair around, Mitch. Gauge locks in a standing shoulder hold, still solidly in control. Hawkins tries to fight out of it, but Gauge counters into a back suplex that earns him a 2 count. Mitch: Well thus far Matt Gauge has been completely in control. Emma: Maybe Matt’s right; maybe Wolf does belong in USPW. Mitch: That’s a low blow, Emma. Wolf tries brawling again, but once again, Gauge is ready for it, and locks Wolf into another submission, then taking him down with an amateur hold, locking in the neck hold. Frustrated, Hawkins manages to get to his feet, and hits a DDT that takes Gauge by surprise. Wolf gets to his feet and no-sells a few punches before hitting a few big blows, leveling Gauge with several standing clotheslines, then sets up for the Wolf Bite, and he hits it! Running knee to the face leaves Gauge dazed in the middle of the ring! Wolf makes the cover, 1-2-NO! Gauge kicks out! Wolf sets up for the running enziguri, aka Full Moon Rising, but Gauge ducks under it and Wolf crotches himself on the top rope. Gauge tosses Hawkins into the ring, and goes back to work on the neck. Recognizing he’s not getting the submission, Gauge hits the German Suplex, rolling through to get the cover, but once again, Wolf kicks out. Gauge is frustrated, and trades some words with Dawn the Cheerleader, who climbs up on the apron. Seeing an opportunity, Wolf goes for the roll up, earning a 2 count. Nemesis: Come on, the guy’s hit what, two wrestling moves, and he thinks he’s done enough? Gauge has picked a body part and taken over this match, Wolf’s not going to win with one roll-up. Wolf goes back to the punches, but hits a quick Rana that takes Gauge by surprise. Gauge is quick to his feet, but receives three knife-edged chops that have him reeling. A thrust kick drives Gauge out of the ring, and Wolf howls, pulling off his mesh t-shirt in the corner as the crowd pops. Gauge rolls back into the ring and goes into a lock-up, but Wolf backs out of it and hits the high knee that lays out Gauge completely. Wolf sets up as Gauge staggers to his feet. Hawkins comes off the ropes and hits the Full Moon Rising! But he fell hard on his neck! Both men are down and out! The ref gets to an 8 count before Wolf crawls into the cover. 1-2- Gauge kicks out again! Wolf can’t believe it! Wolf sets up for yet another Full Moon Rising, and Gauge ducks under it. Wolf gets to his feet, but Gauge is on him, catches him with the head and arm suplex, aka the Neutron Suplex! Gauge wastes no time, locking in the Proton Lock! Hawkins has nowhere to go! He struggles towards the corner, but Gauge pulls Hawkins back and re-applies the hold! Hawkins taps out! Mitch: What a match, ladies and gentlemen! An earlier candidate for the match of the night, but we’ve got a lot of action still to come! Emma: Speaking of, in a triple threat match for the #1 contendership, Zimmy Bumfhole faces Acid and Joey Minnesota! The announcers go over recent events as Gauge slowly makes his way up the ramp, a ****y grin on his face. [b]Winner: Matthew Gauge at 21:39 by submission after a Proton Lock Rating: A*[/b] [Crippler’s Notes: This is probably Wolf’s best match in his EWF career, but being an old school guy, I couldn’t help but wonder how the damage done to Wolf’s neck was completely forgotten about for all of Wolf’s offense. Gauge called the match, which is really an impressive feat for such a young superstar.] Backstage, Zimmy Bumfhole is in the back, a scowl on his face. Ana Garcia stands next to him with a mic. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Zimmy: Tonight, I’m taking on Joey Minnesota and Acid. I’ve told you people what I think about that weird little bastard Acid, and Minnesota, you may look like a champ, but that doesn’t impress anybody until you actually beat a champ. But I’m not here to talk about those guys. I’m here to talk about… me. Let’s turn the clock back a month, shall we? One month ago, yours truly, Zimmy freaking Bumfhole was the hottest man in the business. I mean it was me, it was Avatar, and the two of us, we blew the roof off buildings from here to Miami Beach! But what happened? Suddenly, this guy, this, this Rich Money, a guy that’s been in this company what, ten minutes, gets a title shot, and [i]wins[/i] the EWF Heavyweight title? I mean, I thought I’d seen everything, I thought I knew powerplays, but this was the biggest I’ve seen in [i]this[/i] company. And suddenly, all of us, we gotta take a backseat to these sons of bitches, just because they used to be somebody when they worked someplace else? I’m a former EWF Champion! I am one of the biggest stars in the history of this company! When nobody, when nobody could take down that golden boy, when nobody could beat Jack Avatar, I DID. And I didn’t need the help of a big brown turd of an interference-runner to do it! And now, I’ve gotta come out here, tonight, I’ve got to win a triple threat match just to get a shot at this son of a bitch. And when I get my shot, Rich Money, you can goddamn well guarantee that Zimmy Bumfhole, the greatest EWF Champion of all time, win back that title. And it won’t matter if Remo Richardson, Steve Frehley or Joe Sexy get involved. Hell, it won’t matter if half the roster you left behind comes out there, it won’t be enough! Because when I win tonight, when I get my title shot, I will remind you people, and I will remind you, Rich Money, that Zimmy Bumfhole is the star, the icon, the legend of EWF! [b]Rating: A*[/b] [Crippler’s Notes: That was probably the best promo Zimmy’s ever given. Zimmy makes a real case for being back in the title picture, just like that.] Mitch: Well, I’d say Zimmy has certainly moved on from his recent setback against Jack Avatar. Tonight, he’s gotta be the odds-on favorite to win the #1 contendership. Emma: I don’t have to tell you Zimmy and Rich Money have a history of problems going back Zimmy’s entire career. Mitch: Well speaking of problems, here comes a man who has had quite a few the last few months. It’s Plague! Plague makes his way to the ring, still unsure of his opponent. He does the zone-out stare out into the crowd, who give the cruiserweight a strong reception. Mitch: Well, Plague’s here, but who is he facing? Is Dark Lobster finally going to take on Plague, one on one? Suddenly, familiar music starts up, and Enforcer Roberts makes his way out to the ring. The veteran sizes up Plague as he stretches out his wrists. [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BlackEagle.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/EnforcerRoberts-1.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #4: Plague vs. Enforcer Roberts[/b][/CENTER] Enforcer Roberts immediately takes over the match, working over Plague’s legs, trying to keep the high-flyer grounded. In an impressive spot, Roberts reverses an attempted high kick into a dragon screw, then immediately goes into a half Boston Crab, working over Plague’s right knee. Roberts goes for the R.C.T., but Plague uses his left leg to kick out of it. Plague tries to hit some punches, but can’t take Roberts down, as the veteran goes right back after Plague’s knee, wrenching it out from under the cruiserweight, causing his head to bounce off the mat with a sick thud. Roberts takes Plague’s leg and locks in the reverse figure four, but Plague manages to get into the ropes before he’s forced to tap. Plague once again tries to take the offensive, launching himself with one leg into a forearm, then following that up with a spin kick. Plague sets up a snap suplex, but Roberts just tosses him off, leaving Plague down and out. Enforcer slowly climbs the turnbuckles, looking to add insult to injury, but Plague crotches him on the top rope, and hits a wicked Tornado DDT out of the corner that throws Roberts for a loop. With the fans solidly behind him, Plague hits the modified Bodyslam Driver, aka I-95, and Plague comes off the ropes, hitting the Corkscrew Leg Drop, aka the New Jersey Turnpike, and the pinfall is academic. [b]Winner: Plague by pinfall with a New Jersey Turnpike at 11:39 Rating: B+[/b] Plague is in the ring celebrating while still favoring his knee, when Dark Lobster’s music comes out and the three members of Darkness Falls make their way to the entrance ramp. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/LobsterWarrior.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarkAngel.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/StevenParker_alt.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] DL: I’ll bet you think you won something there, huh Plague? You think you impressed anybody by beating an old, beaten up mercenary? When the deep one came to me, when he told me to gather those of the darkness, it was a warning, Plague. The end, it is coming, and only in the protection of the Dark Lobster can you find salvation. You see Plague, I am not the coming evil, neither is it those men who call themselves the Revolution. But the evil is coming, and it will wipe you and your ilk from the face of the planet! Having made his point, Lobster retreats up the ramp, his lackeys in tow as Plague just stares ahead, unfazed. [b]Rating: B[/b] [Crippler’s Notes: our crowd never knows what to do with Lobster Warrior’s current gimmick. It’s really more of an SWF or CGC thing. That said, this feud has been the first time Dark Lobster has done anything of significance since he made his return to EWF, and the crowd has finally started actually booing him.] Mitch: Well, Plague picks up a big win here, but we’ve got more huge matches coming up! The tag titles, the North American title, and the World Title are all on the way! But first, Acid takes on Zimmy Bumfhole and Joey Minnesota! [CENTER][CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Acid.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeyMinnesota.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #5: Acid vs. Joey Minnesota vs. Zimmy Bumfhole for the #1 contendership[/b][/CENTER][/CENTER] These three don’t bother with a slow start, immediately going after one another with a series of high impact moves. Acid throws himself around the ring, launching himself into several moves, tossing Zimmy outside of the ring. Minnesota dodges a 720 flip, leaving Acid stunned in the ring. Minnesota immediately goes for the Empire Spiral, but from the floor Zimmy grabs Minnesota’s leg out from under him, and Acid gets a quick 2 count. Zimmy gets back in the ring, and hits a standing rana on Minnesota, laying him out. He turns right into a kick from Acid who had rebounded off the middle rope and came flying back, nearly taking Zimmy’s head off. Acid and Zimmy trade punches in the corner while Joey recovers, then exposes one of the steel turnbuckles. Acid has Zimmy on the top, and hits a run-up armdrag out of the corner. Minnesota grabs Zimmy by the legs, setting him up to be thrown into the turnbuckle, but Zimmy reverses, monkey flipping Minnesota. In an obviously scripted move, Acid catches Minnesota in mid-air and carries him into a northern lights suplex. Holy **** chants from the crowd as all three men get to their feet. Zimmy and Acid both take out Minnesota with a tandem dropkick. Acid goes for the cover, but Zimmy throws him off and goes for a cover of his own. Minnesota kicks out at 2, and Acid and Zimmy once again face off. Acid takes control, hitting a tilt-a-whirl DDT on Zimmy. Minnesota clotheslines Acid, and immediately locks in a head and arm-lock on Acid, trying to earn a submission. Acid tries to fight out of it but Minnesota chains it into an armbar, torqueing his legs into Acid’s face. Zimmy breaks it up, and hits a forward Russian Legsweep on Minnesota, laying him out. He lifts up Acid, signaling for the Bumfhole in One, but Acid rallies out of it with a few quick chops and a dropkick to the knee that takes Zimmy down. Acid comes off the ropes to hit a running moonsault, but Minnesota springs up and hits a powerslam. Zimmy tries to get to his feet, but Minnesota hits a European uppercut that leaves him back on the mat. Zimmy rolls out of the ring, and Minnesota follows, the two trading punches outside the ring as Acid gets to his feet. The crowd fires up Acid as he launches himself over the top like a rocket, flipping in mid-air and landing square on Zimmy, leaving him knocked senseless. Acid and Minnesota get to their feet and roll back into the ring. Acid goes for a high impact move, but Minnesota reverses into a powerbomb. Smirking at the crowd, he grabs Acid by the legs, setting up throwing him into the exposed steel. Acid reaches up and starts punching at Minnesota. Minnesota gets knocked back, but avoids the steel. He grins and points at his head as Acid gets to his feet. From the back, another referee comes out to check on Zimmy, who’s still out cold on the outside. Back in the ring, Minnesota calls for the Minnesota Salute, and comes running, but Acid matrixes under. Minnesota tries to turn, but Acid hits a quick kick to Joey’s knee and another to his face, knocking him down and out. Acid locks in the Acidity Test, but Minnesota stretches out his leg and gets it in the rope. Meanwhile, Zimmy has only just started getting to his feet, as the second referee continues to check up on him. Minnesota takes control again, and goes for the Irish Whip into the exposed turnbuckle, but Acid reverses and Minnesota’s back is driven against the steel! Acid sizes up Minnesota and goes for a cartwheel splash into the corner, but Zimmy drags Minnesota out of the ring while Acid is in mid-cartwheel. Acid leaps, not realizing his target’s gone, and brains himself on the exposed steel! Zimmy rolls into the ring and hits the Bumfhole in One! 1-2-3! Zimmy picks up the win! Mitch: What a cowardly move! I can’t believe Zimmy stole this victory from Acid! Nemesis: What are you talking about, Mitch? He picked up the 1-2-3, fair and square! It’s not his fault Acid threw himself into the exposed turnbuckle. Emma: Well, no matter how he got it, Zimmy has earned himself a title shot at either Big Cat or Rich Money. [b]Winner: Zimmy Bumfhole when he pinned Acid with a Bumfhole in One at 17:53. Rating: A*[/b] [Crippler's Notes: Incredible match: these three gave it their all, and it showed. My match of the night so far.] [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackGiedroyc.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SqueekyMcClean.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GregGauge.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #6: Jackie G vs. Squeeky McClean vs. Greg Gauge © for the EWF North American Title[/b][/CENTER] This match starts off early, as Jackie and Squeeky go after one another before Gauge even gets to the ring. Jackie gets a quick backbreaker and goes for a pinfall, but Gauge is in the ring and breaks it up. Gauge hits a quick exploder suplex on Jackie, then goes for a snap powerbomb on Squeeky, but gets hit with a low blow. Squeeky takes over, but Gauge and Jackie work together, the two of them knocking Squeeky back and forth in a comedy segment that gets some good facial expressions out of Squeeky. Jackie hits the London Calling knee drop, and signals for the Crashing On, and hits it. He goes for the cover, but Gauge pulls him off. The two trade punches, but Gauge hits another exploder suplex. With both men down, Gauge looks back and forth before deciding to lock in the Proton Lock on Squeeky. Jackie tries to struggle over to Squeeky to break up the submission, but he’s too late! Mitch: And Greg Gauge holds onto his North American title. Emma: If I didn’t know better, I’d say Squeeky saw Jackie coming and tapped out anyway. [b]Winner: Greg Gauge by submission with the Proton Lock at 9:51. Rating: B[/b] After a quick hype package for Brave New World, EWF’s August Pay Per View (actually airing on September 1), Joe Sexy’s music starts up and the Sexy One makes his way to the ring. [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeSexy.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Joe: The main man, the Sexy One is here! Sin City! But I gotta say, this city gets worse every time I visit. I mean, don’t get me wrong, a high-rolling son-of-a-gun like me goes all the best places, meets all the finest women, and Sexifies more than half of them! But in the old days, I could hit up Sin City and my rolodex would double in a weekend. These days, it’s like water in the desert. Everything’s gone “family friendly.” Well, ladies and gentleman, there is one man that will [i]never[/i] be family friendly, that will never be one of those goody-goodies, that will never go to a magic show or a concert as long as there’s strip clubs and desperate women. And that man is Joe Sexy. Joe: But you people already know that. I know why you people are so excited to see me, ooh yeah. You people know I’ve got a secret, and you people want to hear it! The crowd seems at least somewhat excited about hearing what Sexy has to say. Joe: Well I hate to disappoint you people, but you’re not going to get me to spill what I have to say on a show that doesn’t even book me on the card! I like a night off as much as the next guy, but this is pay per view! Now I support the Revolution, but it seems to me like something’s flat out wrong when a man with as many talents as myself doesn’t have a match. And that’s exactly what the Revolution is going to fix. We’re going to take this boring little TCW clone and turn it into something… Sexy. Randy Bumfhole’s music interrupts Sexy and “the dude” comes out in a Hawaiian shirt and gets in the ring with a mic. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RandyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Randy: Duuuuuuuuude. The crowd gives him a “dude” right back. Randy: Dude, let me get this right. You don’t have a match tonight. You’re not going to tell everybody your little secret. So just what the hell are you doing out here, besides whining about not being booked. And guess what, dude. You’re not the only one on the outside. Joe: Well, Randy, your fashion sense notwithstanding, a guy of your talent shouldn’t be ignored. The Revolution isn’t always gonna be a three man show, and even if you’re not in with the boys, The Revolution can turn things around for you. You want to be a big shot, a high roller? Randy: Let me cut you off right there, dude. I don’t need your help. Maybe you don’t remember, but I wasn’t one of your “good old boys” back East. I don’t want to hear from a washed up hack with delusions of grandeur. This isn’t the old days, Joe. You want respect? You’ve like, gotta earn it, bro. Sexy barely contains himself, then grins. Joe: Well Randy, how about you and me, one on one at this week’s Destruction? Randy: Dude, you bring what little game you have, and the dude himself will totally rock your face off! The two have a little stare-down, and Randy turns to leave when Joe turns him around and lays him out with a punch. Sexy goes for some mounted punching, but Randy fights back and the two start laying into each other with pretty nasty shots when security and staff separate the two. Randy is being totally un-dude, shouting and all but foaming at the mouth as he is kept separated from Sexy, who regains his smile the moment he realizes the fight is all but over. [b]Rating: A*[/b] [Crippler’s Notes: The crowd was huge into this, and I have to say, it worked out better than anyone’s expectations. Randy comes out looking like a main event threat. Joe Sexy may not be the greatest worker in the company, but everybody he’s worked with he’s made look like a million bucks.] As the announcers talk up the matches to come, we get a short break before Bruce the Giant’s music starts up and the largest athlete in the world makes his way out for his match. [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BrucetheGiant.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MaratKhoklov.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #7: Bruce the Giant vs. Marat Khoklov[/b][/CENTER] The match starts with these two behemoths sizing each other up, before they go into a test of strength, broken up by Khoklov, who hits a few quick punches, but Bruce no sells them! Bruce throws some incredibly weak looking punches, and Khoklov no sells them right back. Bruce lifts up Khoklov and hits a bodyslam that shakes the ring, and follows that up with another. Bruce tries to rile up the crowd, trying to end this match in short order, but Khoklov fights back with a series of stiff shots that send Bruce staggering into the corner. Marat goes into the corner and hits 8 punches before Bruce tosses him clear. Marat lays out Bruce with a short-arm clothesline and tosses the Giant back into the corner. He sets him up for a superplex, which gets the entire crowd on their feet with anticipation, but Bruce clubbers out of it with an overhand punch to the top of Khoklov’s bald head, then boots him down. Bruce tosses Khoklov off the ropes and lays him out with a massive boot, before picking him up and setting up a second boot. But Khoklov hits the Moscow Lariat out of nowhere! Marat gets the cover, 1-2-3! [b]Winner: Marat Khoklov by pinfall after a Moscow Lariat at 8:05. Rating: C+[/b] [Crippler’s Notes: Bruce the Giant absolutely sucked out there. Sweat was dripping off him at the 8 minute mark, and he couldn’t throw an even halfway convincing punch, despite wrestling a guy nearly his size. Easily the worst match of the night thus far, and that’s including the pre-show. At least the crowd was into it.] Backstage, Ana Garcia has a microphone and is with Alicia Strong. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AliciaStrong.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Ana: Alicia, several weeks ago you were laid out before Jack Avatar’s re-match against Rich Money. Hundreds of fans on ewf.com have speculated as to the identity of your attacker. Did you see who was responsible? Do you have any information for those fans? Alicia: First of all, Ana, I want to give my thanks to all those fans that supported me, that left kind words for me and my family to make sure I was all right following that cowardly sneak attack. But the truth is I have no idea who hit me. Now I know a lot of people are saying it was Joe Sexy, but I can’t confirm or deny that rumor. I won’t speak for Joe, and unlike Joe, I don’t open my mouth unless I’m sure I’m telling the truth. Now, I’m sure there’s something else you wanted to ask me about. Ana: Alicia, tonight you and Jack Avatar defend your tag team titles against Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson, two of the largest and most dominant superstars in the world today. How do you gameplan for a match like this? Alicia: It’s no different than any other match, Ana. Jack and I don’t train together, we don’t go over things before the match. We’re not a “team” in the traditional sense of the word. All we do is go out and win, and tonight, that’s the plan. Jack Avatar enters the hallway, earning a tremendous pop from the Nevada fans. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Ana: Jack, can I get a few words with you before your match? Jack: Sure, what’s up. Ana: You and Alicia defend your tag team titles tonight. Do you have anything to say for yourself before that match? Jack: Sure I do. This “Revolution” is a menace to EWF, and tonight, it falls to Alicia and I to defend these titles, to keep these clowns from holding three of the five titles in this promotion. Now I know what Alicia told you, that she’s not going to talk until she’s got the evidence, but as far as I’m concerned, the Revolution is guilty until proven innocent. Backstage attacks and illegal interference is the callsign of these sanctimonious pieces of garbage, and I can’t help but notice that Alicia gets taken down just before my title match against one of the Revolution members. As far as I’m concerned, this match isn’t just about defending these belts, it’s not just about defending this company’s reputation; as far as I’m concerned, this is a match about payback. And I’m putting the Revolution on notice; it’s not enough for us to win this math. I want these punks out of EWF, I want to stop this Revolution before it even gets rolling, and next month at Brave New World, I plan on doing just that. Jack leaves, getting a big pop from the crowd as the camera pans back to Alicia and Ana. Ana: Well Alicia, anything to add? Alicia: I think he said it all. Now we just have to go back it up. [b]Rating: A[/b] Alicia follows after Jack as Ana gives it back over to the announcers at ringside, where Jack Avatar’s music hits and the crowd erupts. Alicia comes out next to a big pop, and unlike Avatar, seems to be in high spirits, high-fiving the crowd and giving a big thumbs-up to a glittery sign reading “One STRONG Woman” as she makes her way out. Remo comes out next, getting a lot of heat, and he’s doing the Stanley Kubrick look, head down and eyes looking up, making him seem scarier than normal as the announcers put over Remo’s newfound mean-streak. Frehley comes out last and is clearly all business as he gets into the ring and the size difference becomes immediately apparent. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SteveFrehley.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Remo.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AliciaStrong.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #8: Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson vs. Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong © for the EWF Tag Titles[/b][/CENTER] Avatar and Frehley start off, and the two waste no time getting into a stiff brawl. They head outside, where the heels double team Jack, driving him square into the corner, busting open his forehead. Frehley gets Avatar back into the ring, and tags in Remo. Remo hits some sick MMA style kicks to Avatar while he tries to get to his feet, leaving the two time former champ bleeding profusely and stuck in the corner. Mitch: We’re only a few minutes into this match, and so far, Frehley and Remo have been completely dominant! Richardson goes for a dominator powerbomb, but Avatar slides out of it and hits a few quick kicks of his own to Richardson’s legs, leaving the massive man on his knees. Avatar hits a wicked head-butt, getting his own blood on Remo’s forehead, and leaving the big man dazed enough for Avatar to rebound off the ropes with a leaping dropkick that sends the big man toppling over. Avatar makes the tag, and Alicia comes in, taking down Remo with two quick standing clotheslines before Richardson ducks the third and hits a big sidewalk slam. Using his strength to his advantage, Richardson lifts up Alicia with one arm and drops her into a backbreaker. Remo wipes what’s left of Avatar’s blood off his forehead and slaps Alicia across the face, drawing Avatar into the ring. It’s total chaos as the referee tries to separate the four superstars. Eventually Frehley and Avatar end up outside the ring, and Alicia takes over with a series of quick lucha-style chain wrestling. She whips Remo into the ropes, but he comes back with a devastating spear! 1-2-thr-NO! Alicia kicked out at the very last minute. In the meantime, Avatar has been taken out on the outside, so Frehley gets in and the two men go for a double-suplex, but Alicia counters with a dropkick to both men that the crowd rewards with a huge pop. Finally everyone gets back in their corners and Alicia and Remo go through a quick series of headlocks and chinlocks, slowing the action down and letting the crowd rally around Remo. Remo counters a headlock into a back suplex, but while he’s holding Alicia in mid-air, she reverses the back suplex into a modified bulldog, driving Remo face first into the canvas. Alicia makes the desperation tag, and Avatar is up top! Somersault legdrop connects! Avatar goes for the cover, but Frehley breaks it up at 2. Frehley and Avatar brawl, but Avatar hits the Identity Crisis Cutter out of nowhere, leaving Frehley down and out. Seeing his opportunity, Remo comes in for the Destroyer spear, but Avatar counters into a NASTY shining wizard, driving his knee into Remo’s face and stopping Remo cold. Avatar calls for the Identity Crisis, but Frehley is back on his feet and lays out Avatar from behind. Alicia tries to get involved, but Frehley dumps her out of the ring. Remo struggles to his feet, and Frehley gets him to grab Avatar by the arms. Frehley then proceeds to lay some stiff lefts and rights into Avatar’s forehead, and the blood is just pouring out now. The ref finally gets between Frehley and Avatar and warns him off, but Frehley just rears back to swing at the ref. Alicia is back in though and lays into Frehley with a quick flurry of punches that drives the heavyweight over the top rope. As soon as Frehley’s on his feet, Alicia comes with a diving press through the second rope that leaves both workers down and out. Remo picks up Avatar, who’s bleeding all over the mat, and sets him up for the Destroyer, aka the High-Impact STO, maneuvering Avatar into the center of the ring. Before he can hit the move, Avatar starts hitting elbows to Remo’s head, freeing himself. Remo gets control and goes for the Destroyer one more time, but this time Avatar turns and hits the Identity Crisis Cutter out of nowhere! He goes for the cover… 1… 2… 3! Alicia Strong slides back into the ring with the belts, and Jack and Alicia hold the titles aloft in the middle of the ring as Remo and Frehley glare back at them from the bottom of the ramp. Mitch: What a match, ladies and gentleman! Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong overcome the odds and retain the tag team titles! Nemesis: Well I have to give them credit, they said they didn’t have a gameplan, but it was clear that they wanted to keep Remo isolated out there, wearing the big man down and letting his aggression get the best of him. [b]Winners: Jack Avatar and Alicia Strong via pinfall when Avatar pinned Remo Richardson at 18:47 after an Identity Crisis. Rating: A[/b] [Crippler’s Notes: A little disjointed, but these four brought the goods, even if we kept Frehley protected from much ring action. We want to play up his recent undefeated streak, so it made sense to let Remo take the fall here.] Backstage, the camera cuts to Rich Money, alone in The Revolution’s dressing room. The crowd lets their total hatred for Money known the second he’s on the screen. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Rich: Avatar, Alicia, I’ll bet you must be feeling pretty proud of yourself, huh? After all, what were the odds on you two overcoming the size and the power of two of the greatest athletes in professional wrestling history? But you know, for all that, The Revolution still has the greatest prize of all. I’ve still got this EWF Title, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. But tonight, all you Las Vegas fans, you came here to see me, the highest grossing, highest paid champion in EWF history! [The crowd boos heavily] And tonight, I, the greatest champion in this business’ history will make Big Cat Brandon famous. That’s right, Big Cat Brandon, a guy who’s mostly known for [i]not[/i] being Eddie Peak, for [i]not[/i] being a champion, for [i]not[/i] being a success, is finally going to get made tonight. But before any of you fans out there get the wrong idea, let me clarify: Big Cat’s going to be famous, but not in the way he thinks. See, tonight, I take that Animal, and I’m not just going to tame him, I’m going to beat the living hell out of him. Revolution members Steve Frehley and Remo Richardson enter, interrupting Rich, who turns to face them. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SteveFrehley.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Remo.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Steve: You ready for yo’ match, Richie? Rich: Boys, you know I’m ready. Steve: You want us out there? Rich: Thanks, but I can take care of ‘the Animal’ on my own. But do me a favor, both of you? Steve: What? Rich: Make sure to watch real close. Because tonight’s lesson… is winning. Rich smiles at Remo, who snorts back at him. Rich turns and makes his way out, as Remo restrains himself and Frehley nods his head somberly. [b]Rating: A*[/b] [Crippler’s Note: The fans love to hate Rich Money. He’s easily the most hated guy on the roster, and that’s saying something considering the hate for Zimmy Bumfhole and Joe Sexy.] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BigCatBrandon.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney.jpg[/IMG] [b]Match #9: Big Cat Brandon (w/ Jessie) vs. Rich Money© for the EWF World Heavyweight Title[/b][/CENTER] Emma: Here’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, tonight’s main event! Big Cat Brandon takes on Rich Money! Big Cat comes out first, bellowing at the crowd and pumping his arms, receiving one of the top pops of the night. Money is nearly booed out of the building as he comes out second, holding up the title in one hand as he enters the ring. From the beginning, Big Cat takes control with his fast-paced, hard-hitting style. The two trade punches all over the ring with Big Cat keeping the champion on his heels with hard strikes. Big Cat hits a quick fall forward slam that earns a quick two count, but Money takes control after dropping down and hitting a punch into Big Cat’s knee, playing up the injury to Cat’s knee two weeks ago. Money focuses on the knee, driving it into the mat and locking in a Boston Crab. Big Cat fights out of it though, whipping Money off of him with a powerful jerk of his legs. Back on his feet, Big Cat is noticeably slowed, but he still lifts up Rich Money and hits the running powerslam, earning another 2 count. In control, Big Cat hangmans Money on the ropes with a Stun Gun, leaving the champ gasping for air. Big Cat slides outside and roars at Money before hitting a massive uppercut that leaves Money spread eagle in the ring. Big Cat climbs onto the apron, and with the crowd egging him on, goes up top. Mitch: OH MY GOD, this Animal is going to fly! It looks like… yes, he’s going for the Pennies From Heaven, one of Rich Money’s signatures! Big Cat goes flying for the huge splash, but Money puts his knees up, and Big Cat is left clutching his ribs. Money cashes in with the Bank Roll suplex! 1… 2… NO! Big Cat presses Money off of him and gets to his feet. The two trade punches, but Rich Money goes for the Cash Flow DDT after a quick kick. Big Cat reverses, lifting up Money and dropping him crotch first on the ropes. With the crowd egging him on, Big Cat jerks the ropes up and down as Money hangs on for dear life before finally falling back into the ring. The cameras shift to backstage, where the Revolution doesn’t look amused at all; even Joe Sexy is there, staring intently. Remo Richardson stands. Remo: I’m going out there. Joe: Whoah, hey, what about boss’ orders? Remo: Screw that. Remo goes for the door, but finds it stuck. Remo: What the hell? The camera cuts to the otherside of the door, where Randy Bumfhole is having a conversation with Bruce the Giant. Bruce’s massive paw is on the door to the Revolution’s locker room, sealing it from the inside. Mitch: Well Rich may not know it, but he’s not getting any help from The Revolution! Big Cat’s completely in control at this point, and hits the Brandon Bomb Drop (aka the Batista Bomb). 1… 2… NO! Big Cat can’t believe it, but he sets up for the Big Cat Pounce, rocking the ropes as Rich Money slowly gets to his feet. Big Cat comes running, but Money sees him coming and ducks! Big Cat hits the pounce right into the referee! Darren Smith is driven right out of the ring! Money hits a quick low blow and sets up for the Cash Flow DDT, but Big Cat once again reverses it, this time lifting Money up and dropping him with a press slam. Big Cat is back on the ropes, once again calling for the Big Cat Pounce. Suddenly, a figure from the crowd leaps up on the apron and wraps a chair around the top of Big Cat’s head with an absolutely vicious shot. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Mitch: OH MY GOD! Is that… Zimmy Bumfhole? What the hell is the #1 contender doing out here? The crowd is irate as Zimmy hits another hard chair shot into Big Cat, warping the chair even further. Rich Money glares at Zimmy, and for a second it looks like Zimmy’s going to lay out Money as well. Instead, Zimmy turns his back and leaves the ring, chair in hand. Money immediately turns back to Big Cat, lifting up the heavyweight and dropping him with the Cash Flow. The referee wakes up in time to see the cover. 1-2-3! [b]Winner: Rich Money by pinfall at 13:39 after a Cash Flow DDT Rating: A*[/b] Money is handed the title and starts running his mouth towards the downed Big Cat before turning to face the entrance ramp. The rest of the Revolution finally show up and all four men celebrate in the ring to end the show. [b]Rating: B+[/b] Mitch: What a turn of events, ladies and gentlemen! Our new #1 contender took out Big Cat Brandon! Does this mean Zimmy Bumfhole is affiliated with the Revolution? Find out next week on EWF Destruction! Overall Rating: A* Attendance: 21,577 PPV Buyrate: 6.66

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[quote=ewf.com][B]EWF Destruction Preview[/B] Only three days removed from Riot Act, EWF remains in a state of chaos heading into this week’s EWF Destruction. While all titles were successfully defended, the situation between #1 contender Zimmy Bumfhole and the Revolution continues to unfold! In singles action, Revolution member Joe Sexy faces off with EWF’s resident dude Randy Bumfhole. The Sexy one has not made many friends lately; will Randy finally be the one to silence Sexy? In tag team action, High Energy faces Akima Brave and Antonio Garcia, aka Raw Power. At Riot Act, High Energy member Groucho Bling pinned Antonio Garcia. High Energy have made it clear they want Akima Brave’s Rising Star title, and hope to prove their worth in a match tonight. In other action, recent rivals Darryl Devine and Barry Kingman will both be in action. Devine faces Joey Minnesota, while Kingman faces Wolf Hawkins. Both Hawkins and Minnesota look to recover from high profile losses at Riot Act. As if that wasn’t enough, Remo Richardson faces off with Bruce the Giant and Greg Gauge defends his North American title against Dark Lobster! Tune in this Saturday for all six (6!) matches and more! [B]EWF News, Notes[/B] The attitude backstage after hearing of a 6.66 buyrate was one of celebration. The show was Big Cat Brandon's first match in the main event, and everyone was extremely happy with the way he performed his role. There is also a lot of good buzz around Joe Sexy. Though only a six month veteran of EWF, Sexy has made a lot of friends with his work on the mic and his attitude backstage. [/quote] Quick Picks Randy Bumfhole vs. Joe Sexy High Energy vs. Raw Power Darryl Devine vs. Joey Minnesota Wolf Hawkins vs. Barry Kingman (ooc: Hurricane Ike has delayed this show somewhat, but everything should be back to near-normalcy soon enough.)

[lazorbeak]

[COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="4"]Show #7: EWF Destruction[/SIZE][/COLOR] Live from the V. Thompson Arena in Los Angeles Pre-Show Danny Rushmore defeated Soetsu Akechi in 2:42 by pinfall. B- The New Wave defeated The Green Angels in 4:40 when Scout defeated Emerald Angel by submission with a Special Force. B Natural Nate defeated Steve Flash in 5:40 by pinfall with a Natural Order. B [B][SIZE="3"]Show Begins[/SIZE][/B] The show opens with a quick hype video recapping Riot Act, set to melodramatic music. The last images are of Zimmy hitting Brandon with the chair and Money celebrating with his title. After Mitch and Emma talk about the ramifications of the show for a moment, they’re cut off by the opening cash register that signals Rich Money’s entrance. Money comes out alone, in his suit, as the crowd boos heartily. Money gets into the ring and grabs a mic. [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney_alt1.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Rich: Last night! Last night the Rich Money era showed everyone just what the Revolution means. It means buyrates, it means tickets sold, it means butts in t he seats! I may be the most well-paid man in this company, but I assure you, ladies and gentlemen, that I am worth… every… penny. Money takes a moment to get another wave of boos, clearly enjoying himself. Rich: And even though the Revolution couldn’t win the tag titles, we put such a beating on Avatar and Alicia Strong that they’re not even here tonight! And tonight, in this ring, one on one, the Revolution continues as Joe Sexy will beat Randy Bumfhole right here, 1-2-3. But as great as everything else was last night, there’s one thing that troubles me. Yes, even I have troubles, ladies and gentleman. You see, last night, I had Big Cat Brandon beaten, dead to rights, but there was one variable I didn’t count on. Zimmy Bumfhole! I want you to get out here and explain what business you have interfering in my match? The crowd lets out a decent pop as Zimmy’s music plays and the man comes out and makes his way into the ring. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Rich: So I want you to explain to me, Zimmy: what business did you think you had in my match? Zimmy: Well, maybe you didn’t notice, but as of this week I’m the #1 contender. And as far as I’m concerned, that makes a title match my business. So when I brought that steel down on Big Cat’s thick skull, I wasn’t looking out for you, Rich Money. I was looking out for me. Because I already promised to take that title from off your waist, and I wasn’t about to let that idiot beat me to the punch! Zimmy gets some heat from the crowd, but Money seems to relax. Rich: You know, I’m glad to hear that, Zimmy, really I am. You see, when you got involved last night, I knew there would be certain extremists out there that would immediately say “Oh, he’s a member of the Revolution now.” And no offense, but you’re not Revolution material. And as far as that #1 contendership status; as long as you’re here, why not sort this out right now? You want a shot against me? Just pick a date. The sooner I beat you, the sooner I can go back to doing what I do best: making this company money. Zimmy: How about next week? Rich shrugs. Zimmy: And as far as not being Revolution material, I think it was a great man who once said: “I would never join a club that would have [i]you[/i] as a member. See you next week, punk. Zimmy gets the last word before ducking outside the ring, jawing with Rich as he makes his way up the ramp. [b]Rating: A*[/b] After a short commercial break, the North American champ makes his way down to the ring, as his match is next. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GregGauge.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/LobsterWarrior.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #1: Greg Gauge© vs. Dark Lobster for the North American Title[/b] These two men have an excellent technical battle, with Dark Lobster’s injuries to his neck and back preventing him from going all out or taking any German Suplexes from Gauge. The finish comes when Plague comes down to the apron, staring at Dark Lobster. The Lobster tries to take out Plague, but the distraction allows Gauge to roll up Lobster, but instead of going for the pin, he chains the move into a Proton Lock, earning the submission victory. [b]Winner: Greg Gauge retains via submission at 7:28 after a Proton Lock. Rating: B+[/b] After the match, Lobster motions for Plague to get into the ring. Plague obliges, still staring a hole in Lobster. Lobster goes for a sucker-punch, but Plague is ready! He lays out Lobster with a punch, then tackles him with a flurry of punches, leaving Lobster down and out in the ring. Before the referee forces him off, Plague hops off and silently makes his way back up the apron, his point made. [b]Rating: B[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GrouchoBling.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MainstreamHernandez.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AkimaBrave.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/FrederiqueAntonioGarcia.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #2: High Energy vs. Raw Power[/b] After a break, we come back with our next match, continuing the recent feud between High Energy members Groucho Bling and Mainstream Hernandez with Raw Power members Antonio Garcia and Rising Star champion Akima Brave. The match is short and relatively unimpressive, ending with Groucho Bling once again pinning Antonio Garcia, this time after a Bling Thing in the middle of the ring. During the commentary, Emma reveals this win makes Groucho Bling the new #1 contender for the Rising Star title. [b]Rating: C+[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/WolfHawkins.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BarryKingman.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #3: Wolf Hawkins vs. Barry Kingman[/b] As if high-octane tag action wasn’t enough, EWF brings the goods yet again with a physical, technically sound match-up that you would expect in NOTBPW, TCW, or the country of Japan. Wolf’s high impact knee-strikes make the difference, and he picks up the victory after a Full Moon Rising, getting back in a winning way after his recent difficulties with Matthew Gauge. [b]Winner: Wolf Hawkins via pinfall at 7:28 after a Full Moon Rising. Rating: A[/b] After Emma and Mitch briefly go over tonight’s main event, a match between Randy Bumfhole and Joe Sexy, Jackie G makes his way out to the ring, microphone in hand. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackGiedroyc.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Mitch: Oh, here we go. Jackie’s mouth has done nothing but get him in trouble. Jackie: So, anybody catch Riot Act? [cheap pop] Now I know all my fans, all the Jack-sters out there were disappointed that I couldn’t win that bit o’ bling from Greg Gauge, but you got to admit, it could’ve been worse. I mean, I wasn’t the one tapping out like a bitch right here in the ring. Now I know all of you want the British rhyme-dropper to lay one out for ya, so Squeeky, this one’s for you! Before Jackie can start, he’s cut off by Squeeky McClean’s music, which receives a chorus of boos as both Squeeky and Natural Nate come out. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SqueekyMcClean.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/NateJohnson.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Squeeky: Wait wait wait! Wait just a minute, Jackie. I’m not going to let you talk about me behind my back. You’ve got something to say about me? Then say it to my face! The heels get in the ring, but Jackie doesn’t seem worried. Jackie: Okay, you want me to lay one down on ya? Here goes: Squeek’s got a new pal, name of Nate, A friend, a buddy, a regular mate, but I heard they was more than friends, I heard some bells, yo, when you two lovebirds gonna set a date? Jackie gets a laugh from the crowd while Squeeky looks like he’s about to snap. Natural Nate tosses his sunglasses into the crowd, and goes right after Jackie, and in no time it’s a 2 on 1 beating for the International Rap Star. Squeeky tells Nate to pick up Jackie to hit the Spot Remover, but before he can, Sammy Bach comes running in with a chair! Sammy chases off the heels and helps Jackie get to his feet as we go to a break. [b]Rating: B-[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BrucetheGiant.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Remo.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #4: Bruce the Giant vs. Remo Richardson[/b] Next up, Remo squares off with Bruce the Giant. During Remo’s entrance, a clip of Bruce unintentionally trapping the Revolution’s in their locker room is shown. Remo’s immediately puts his speed and strength to task, laying into the big man with brutal punches and kicks, manhandling the Giant unlike anything Bruce has ever seen. Remo ends the match with an incredible display of power, hitting the Destroyer on the Giant to get the 3 count. [b]Winner: Remo Richardson by pinfall after the Destroyer at 5:02. Rating: B+[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BigCatBrandon.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Backstage, Big Cat Brandon is walking! Before he gets far, he runs into Rich Money and Steve Frehley. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney_alt1.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SteveFrehley.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Rich: So, Big Cat? Did you learn your lesson? Are you gonna stay out of the Revolution’s business? Big Cat sizes up both men, but remains silent. Steve: I don’t think he got the message Money. Rich: I think you’re right, Steve. Maybe he needs another lesson? Before the two men can take action, Big Cat attacks Rich Money, taking him by surprise. A moment later, Frehley attacks with some vicious punches, and Remo, fresh from his match comes running in to assist the three man beat-down that leaves Big Cat down and out. Rich: Let’s see if this beating sinks in. The heels laugh as Big Cat is left out cold in the hallway. [b]Rating: A*[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarrylDevine.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeyMinnesota.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #5: Darryl Devine vs. Joey Minnesota[/b] In another great match, Devine goes one on one with Joey Minnesota in a great match-up that sees these two re-kindle their excellent matches from their feud over the North American title over a year ago. However, Minnesota has since moved into the world title hunt, and his mean-streak helps him pull out the victory with a few nice suplexes followed by an Empire Spiral. [b]Winner: Joey Minnesota via pinfall after an Empire Spiral at 13:27. Rating: A[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeSexy.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Sexy comes out for his match, but he’s got a microphone in hand. Sexy: Joe Sexy is here to make Los Angeles sexy! Joe knows this town’s got its problems; earthquakes aren’t Sexy. Fires aren’t Sexy. Immigrants aren’t Sexy. The Dodgers sure as hell aren’t sexy! And you know what we can add to that list? Randy Bumfhole! The female crowd apparently disagrees as the camera shows some Randy Bumfhole signs, including a spelled out “D-U-U-U-U-D-E” and a large woman holding a “marry me Randy!” sign. Sexy: Randy Bumfhole is a grown man, trapped in a sixteen year old’s body! How old are you Randy, to still be using the same gel you used in junior high? He talks about being a surfer, he talks about being a “dude,” but you know what? Dudes aren’t sexy, either! “Dude” ranch? Not Sexy! “The Dude”? Definitely not Sexy! Randy, you might think you’re a big shot here, you might think these fans care about you, but we all know you’re small-time. We all know you were the small fish in the big pond, while Joe Sexy is the big fish wherever he goes. So tonight, ladies and gentlemen, Joe Sexy will show you people: winning is Sexy. [b]Rating: A*[/b] [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RandyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeSexy.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #6: Randy Bumfhole vs. Joe Sexy[/b] After our final commercial break, Randy Bumfhole makes his entrance, playing to the crowd, apparently unfazed by Sexy’s tirade. The two square off, with the larger Sexy immediately taking control, hitting some low-risk power moves including the dreaded Sexy side-slam. He earns a quick two count, but Randy kicks out and goes to work with some quick offense, including a nice enziguri that lays out Sexy. Randy goes up top, but Sexy manages to hit the ropes, crotching the Dude and allowing Sexy to take control. Sexy sets Randy up in the corner for the field goal kick, but Randy reverses, catching Sexy’s foot and hitting a dragon screw, following that up with a quick basement dropkick to leave Sexy on the mat. Now in control, Randy gets a 2 count after a T-Bone suplex, and starts psyching up the crowd for the Bumfhole Buster. Sexy counters and goes after Randy with some clubbing blows, sending Randy to the outside, giving Sexy the chance to play to the crowd, who are vocal in their displeasure. Randy re-enters with a springboard dropkick that gets a massive pop, and hits a split-legged moonsault for a 2 count. Randy goes back up top, signaling for the Shooting Star Press, and giving a “dude!” to the hyped up crowd, but Sexy rolls out of the way. Randy amazingly manages to land on his feet, but is caught and hit with a One Night Stand! Sexy makes the quick cover- 1… 2… 3! [b]Winner: Joe Sexy via pinfall with a One Night Stand at 10:41. Rating: A*[/b] Overall Rating: A*

[lazorbeak]

[quote=ewf.com][b]EWF Destruction News, Notes[/b] EWF Destruction's attendance has been down slightly, with this week pulling a 30.49. Despite the relatively poor rating, everyone backstage was very happy with how the main event went down. Word is EWF has been in talks with yet another SWF World Champion. Currently, four former SWF champions already work for the promotion. EWF.com can exclusively report that this is one of the biggest signings in EWF history. There's already talk about this worker potentially being the fifth member of the Revolution. [b]EWF Destruction Preview[/b] It’s August, and that means things at EWF are heating up! This week’s Destruction starts the trail towards Brave New World, the biggest event of the summer. In his first defense since his controversial victory over Big Cat Brandon, Rich Money defends his title against Zimmy Bumfhole, who has promised to regain the title and drive the Revolution out of EWF. As if that historic title match wasn’t enough, Jack Avatar will be back in the building and back in action, facing Matthew Gauge. The young egomaniac has picked up two incredibly impressive victories over Wolf Hawkins. Will the second generation superstar be able to ride that momentum into a victory over the only two time EWF champion in the promotion’s history? Fans of tag team action will have twice the reason to watch this week’s Destruction, as the New Wave faces the Green Angels, while Squeeky McClean and Natural Nate, calling themselves The Natural Ones, face off against the makeshift team of Sammy Bach and Jackie G. The championship committee has assured EWF.com that the more impressive victor will earn a tag team title shot at next week’s Destruction. And if you’re still not convinced, two more matches have also been confirmed! Akima Brave defends his Rising Star title against Groucho Bling, a man who has pinned Antonio Garcia twice in two weeks, while Randy Bumfhole will be back in action, facing off against Dark Lobster’s right hand man, Dark Angel! Six huge matches, two titles on the line, and it’s just another day at the office as EWF approaches the Brave New World and the Manhattan Center in just three short weeks![/quote] [b]Quick Picks[/b] Zimmy Bumfhole vs. Rich Money Jack Avatar vs. Matthew Gauge The New Wave vs. The Green Angels Sammy Bach and Jackie G vs. The Natural Ones Groucho Bling vs. Akima Brave for the Rising Star Title Randy Bumfhole vs. Dark Angel

[NoNeck]

Zimmy Bumfhole vs. [B]Rich Money[/B] [I]I've always liked Zimmy...except for his picture....and would love to see him win here. Just not against a new champion. Plus, Money is Money. He should be the focus of the promotion he's in.[/I] Jack Avatar vs. [B]Matthew Gauge[/B] [I]Gauge is a Keith and Keith's rule the best diaries around here. ;):D Gauge is on a roll; the Avatar can alwya s afford a loss.[/I] [B]The New Wave[/B] vs. The Green Angels [I]Siding with the new Wave here, although Green Angels is a great name and that usually wins out with me.[/I] Sammy Bach and Jackie G vs. [B]The Natural Ones[/B] [I]Makeshift team means instant disaster; see wrsetling history 101.[/I] Groucho Bling vs. [B]Akima Brave[/B] for the Rising Star Title Successful defense. Randy Bumfhole vs. [B]Dark Angel[/B] [I]Randy stops the cohort. Love me some Bumfhole. :rolleyes:[/I] Good stuff, Lazorbeak. Can't wait for the next show.

[lazorbeak]

[SIZE="3"][COLOR="Blue"]Show #8: EWF Destruction[/COLOR][/SIZE] Live from the Theatre of Dreams in Portland, Oregon. 8,465 fans are on hand for another huge show for the top alternative in wrestling today! Dark Matches: Antonio Garcia defeated "The Masked Jobber" Soetsu Akechi in 3:57 by pinfall with a Romeo Is Bleeding. B- Towers of Power defeated Steve Flash and UK Dragon in 4:06 when Mick Muscles defeated Steve Flash by pinfall with a Double Chokeslam. C Mainstream Hernandez defeated Steven The Disciple in 6:23 by pinfall with an Apparition #14. B- [SIZE="3"][b]Show Begins[/b][/SIZE] Once again, we are joined LIVE by the greatest broadcast duo in the business, Mitch Naess and Emma Chase. Immediately following their introductions, the bombs drop and out come EWF’s resident veterans of foreign wars, the New Wave! [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Guide.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Scout.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/EmeraldAngel.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/NicolasLopez.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #1: The New Wave (with Ana Garcia) vs. The Green Angels[/b] The Green Angels also get a respectable pop, as they come out draped in the Mexican and Japanese flags. Once the action begins, it’s high-paced and frenetic, as psychology is sacrificed to cram spot after spot into a limited amount of time. In a true “holy ****” moment, Nicolas Lopez, aka El Angel Verde, hits Guide with a moonsault to the outside that looked like it had to have damn near killed Lopez. Unfortunately for the Angels, Guide recovers first and with the set-up from Scout, Guide hits the New Wave. Scout quickly wrenches in the Special Force, and Angel immediately taps out. Verde gets back to his feet under his own power, and gets a decent pop from the Oregon fans as he makes his way up the ramp with his defeated partner. [b]Winners: The New Wave via submission at 4:53 when Scout forced Emerald Angel to tap to a Special Force. Rating: B-[/b] Mitch: What a great contest from those four athletes, and that’s just the beginning. What a night we’ve got in store for us! Emma: You said it. Another great tag match, two titles on the line, and Jack Avatar and Matthew Gauge squaring off, one on one. It’s a dream-match, live on free television! Mitch: I can’t believe it, and… Mitch is cut off by the cash register opening. Mitch: I can’t believe this either. This match is next? [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Rich Money comes out to the ring with the title, getting a lot of heat from the crowd. He bounces off the ropes, warming up, but even after his music cuts out, Zimmy’s nowhere to be found. Rich finally seems to notice his absent opponent and grabs a mic. Rich: I’m the champion here! I call the shots! You want a title shot Zimmy, here it is! Take it or leave it! Mitch: Oh my God, I don’t think Zimmy’s even in the building! What a dirty trick from our “fighting champ” Rich Money. Rich: Come on, Zimmy, I’m not gonna give you more than one shot at this thing! Lord knows you don’t even deserve this one! You beat Acid? You think that qualifies you for a shot at me, the greatest champ in the history of this organization? You couldn’t even beat Jack Avatar, a man I beat cleanly… twice! Mitch: That’s a damn lie! Rich Money only beat Avatar once, and never clean. Rich drops the mic and tells the ref to start counting. The boos are pretty intense as the ref gets up to 5 before Zimmy’s music hits. Zimmy definitely gets the face reaction as he comes sprinting down the ramp, still dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt with a red “Z” on the front and “You’ve been Bumfhole’d” on the back (available now at shop.ewf.com). [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/ZimmyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RichMoney.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #2: Rich Money© vs. Zimmy Bumfhole for the EWF Heavyweight Title[/b] Zimmy barely beats the ten count and immediately rockets after Rich, trading close-fisted punches until the ref breaks them up. The two get into a lock-up and manage to touch all four turnbuckles before Money locks in a neck-vice. Zimmy tries to elbow out of it, but Money goes right back to the vice. Emma: I’ve got to admit, Rich Money looks pretty good out there. Mitch: What’re you saying, Emma? Emma: What? I’ve always had a thing for guys with big egos. Mitch: You did say ego, right? Zimmy finally fights out, but Money pulls down the top rope when Zimmy goes for a leaping kick and Zimmy wipes himself out on the outside. Rolling after him, Money hits a stiff punch. Mitch: Waitaminute! It’s Steve Frehley and Remo! Damnit, not again! [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SteveFrehley.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/Remo.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] The two Revolution members make their way down to the ramp, keenly interested, but the referee is warning them not to get involved. Emma: We may have some impromptu lumberjacks here, Mitch. Mitch: They don’t look like any lumberjacks I’ve ever seen! Emma: What is [i]that[/i] supposed to mean? Mitch: Never mind. The Revolution members look on as Rich hits another punch on the outside. Before they can strike, Big Cat’s music hits, and all three Revolution members freeze. Mitch: Big Cat is here! Big Cat is here! [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/BigCatBrandon.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Big Cat himself comes sprinting out and immediately hits the Pounce on Remo, leaving him down and out on the entrance ramp. Money heads over to help Frehley subdue the animal, but Joey Minnesota’s music hits! Mitch: What the hell is going on here? [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeyMinnesota.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Joey comes out and evens the score, going after Frehley. Zimmy takes out Money, but the ref has already called for the bell. [b]Result: Draw by double count out Rating: B[/b] Not satisfied with the bell ringing, Zimmy rolls Rich into the ring anyway and starts laying into him with some mounted punches while Money tries to protect himself. Frehley gets in the ring and pulls him off, but Big Cat follows him in and sets up for the Big Cat Pounce. But he misses! Pounce to Zimmy! Big Cat and Frehley brawl, eventually joined by Remo and Minnesota. Minnesota and Big Cat clean house on Frehley, but then Minnesota hits a cheap shot to Big Cat. Finally, a number of officials and two road agents (one of them a short-haired Sam Keith!) break up the chaos and get the Revolution, Big Cat and Minnesota into separate corners. The Revolution leaves first, as Money gets back his EWF Title and makes a show of shining it up on his shoulder as Zimmy comes around. Zimmy looks like he wants to go after all three men, but Keith and others hold him back, and he just watches as Money and the title disappear behind the curtain as the show goes to a break. [b]Rating: A*[/b] Mitch: Well, all that and we’ve still got another hour of show left! That was unbelievable! Total chaos, right here in the ring. Emma: Well the Revolution has been stacking the odds since they formed, Mitch. It was only a matter of time before somebody evened them. Mitch: Well, you may be right, but I can’t help but worry that the EWF roster may not be able to unite against this threat. I mean, just then we had Big Cat hit the pounce on Zimmy and Joey Minnesota turn on Big Cat at the first opportunity. Emma: You’re right, Mitch. It seems like everybody’s after the gold except Remo and Frehley. Mitch: Well, moving on, we’ve got more high-impact action, as Groucho Bling gets a title shot at Akima Brave! [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/GrouchoBling.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AkimaBrave.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #3: Groucho Bling vs. Akima Brave© (with Antonio Garcia) for the EWF Rising Star Title[/b] Groucho gets a good reaction as he bounces down to the ring, high fiving fans and wearing a big goofy grin. Brave is all business as he comes out flanked by Antonio Garcia, who is even more tanned than usual and is dressed like he walked off the set of the old Miami Vice, wearing a white sport coat over a lime green t-shirt. Groucho immediately plays the underdog, avoiding a forearm and a kick from the larger Samoan. Groucho takes over with some lucha style cruiserweight moves, bridging into a quick 2 count. Brave tries to take back control with a sleeper, but Groucho hits an impressive counter. Akima’s wobbly on his feet and gets hit with a running leg-scissors. Brave slowly gets to his feet as Groucho leaps up top. Bicycle Pump Kick connects! 1-2-NO! Brave counters a headlock into a back suplex and is slow to his feet. Mitch: Waitaminute! What’s Garcia doing? Antonio Garcia grabs the Rising Star title and sets it under the ropes before turning and smiling to the crowd. Brave has Groucho on his feet and hits a big headbutt… but Groucho’s still on his feet! Another headbutt… and Groucho’s still not down, but he looks like he’s out of it. Garcia hops up on the adjacent apron from the title and gets the referees attention, telling him to stop the match by KO while Brave scoops up the title. Groucho staggers right into a nasty belt shot! Brave goes for the cover as the referee turns… but he calls for the bell! The ref saw the belt and called for the DQ. Brave is on his feet yelling at the ref, but Antonio calms him down by giving him back the title and raising his arm. Play Brave’s music, ‘cause he lost! [b]Winner: Groucho Bling by disqualification at 5:49 after Akima Brave used a foreign object (Brave retains the title) Result: B+[/b] In the back, Randy Bumfhole is stretching when he’s approached by Ana Garcia. [CENTER][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RandyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Ana: Randy, tonight you face off against Dark Angel, one of the members of Dark Lobster’s Darkness Falls stable. Any comment on the actions of Darkness Falls in recent weeks? Randy takes off his sunglasses and checks Ana out, causing her to flush a little. Randy: Girl, you got in goin’ on, Ana! But as far as your question, the dude does not abide beatdowns, the dude does not abide cryptic statements about how terrible the future’s gonna be. Lobster’s always chilled at his own speed, but lately these dudes have been totally out of control. Now the dude is not a role model; Randy Bumfhole is not a perfect man, and he’s not going to tell people how to deal, but the fact is, Dark Angel is off the freakin’ deep end, for sure. This dude is so straight up out of his gourd that he’d probably vote for a Texan and criminalize sweet mary jane! [the Oregon crowd gives a big boo to the idea as Randy grins.] This dude’s not sure what happened to all his old friends, why suddenly everybody from back east turned out to be a nutjob or an *******? But Dark Angel, I know you don’t talk much, I know you don’t got a lot to say, and I know quiet guys like you think actions speak louder than words. Well tonight, dude, I speak your language! Ana: Well, there you go guys. Randy’s match is next! Randy turns to leave, but then turns around and grabs the mic back. Randy: DUDE! [The crowd gives a loud DUDE back to him] What am I saying? Speak your language? I don’t speak French! Awww Revoir, dude! [b]Rating: A[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/RandyBumfhole.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/DarkAngel.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #4: Randy Bumfhole vs. Dark Angel[/b] After a break, Randy’s music hits the ring, followed by Dark Angel. The two have a solid but pretty unremarkable match, focusing on a few high-flying spots that kept the crowd on their feet. In the end, Bumfhole was too much for Dark Angel, and he picked up the victory after a Bumfhole Buster just before the 10 minute mark. [b]Winner: Randy Bumfhole via pinfall at 9:58 after a Bumfhole Buster Rating: B+[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SammyBach.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Backstage, Sammy Bach knocks on what looks like a janitor’s closet, only it’s got “Jackie G” written on a white-board on the door. After not getting an answer, Sammy opens the door, only to walk into a face full of smoke. Sammy: What the heck? [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackGiedroyc.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Jackie’s head pops out, but he leaves the door otherwise closed. Jackie: Heck? What the **** are you talking about? Sammy looks stunned. Sammy: We’ve got a match tonight. The Natural Ones. Thought I’d make sure you were, you know, ready? Jackie: Oh, I’m ready. Sammy: What’s with all the smoke? Jackie: What smoke? Sammy: In there. Jackie: In where? Sammy points into the doorway, where there’s still smoke escaping over Jackie’s head. Jackie: In here? Sammy: Is something burning? Jackie laughs. Jackie: What are you, a cop? Wot’s all this then, eh? Sammy: No, I’m not a cop. Does this mean it’s… Jackie: Don’t say it! It’s a dirty word in this country. Jackie opens the door and exits, wearing his ring gear. Spread around the converted janitor’s closet are at least four women that look like something out of a 1970’s exploitation film. Jackie quickly closes the door before the cameraman can get a look at what they’re circled around. Sammy: Who were they? Jackie: I dunno. Met ‘em today. Sammy stares at Jackie as he starts making his way down the hallway. Jackie: So, they’re calling themselves the Natural Ones, huh? Sammy: That’s right. Jackie: Well today, I’m all natural, too. Let’s get it on! [b]Rating: B[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackGiedroyc.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SammyBach.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/SqueekyMcClean.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/NateJohnson.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #5: Jackie G and Sammy Bach vs. the Natural Ones[/b] The faces get a solid reaction in their individual entrances, while the crowd sounds somewhat split as the Natural Ones come out together in matching gear. The story of the match was the Natural Ones’ almost inherent experience, which the announcers put over as Natural Nate’s history as one of the greatest tag team wrestlers in Canadian history. The two use quick tags to stay fresh against Jackie, and once he tags in Sammy, the match barely leaves the Natural Ones corner as the duo work over the cruiserweight with a number of double-team moves, keeping the high-energy superstar grounded and separated from his partner. Bach recovers enough to hit an enziguri on Squeeky and goes for the desperation tag, but Squeeky makes the tag first and Nate cuts off Bach, continuing to attack the smaller worker’s legs. Jackie finally snaps and comes into the ring anyway, but he’s met by Squeeky McClean, and the two brawl, spilling outside the ring as Nate hits the Natural Order suplex and gets the cover, 1-2-3. [b]Winners: The Natural Ones at 6:54 after Nate pinned Sammy Bach following a Natural Order. Rating: A[/b] As the Natural Ones celebrate in the ring to the displeasure of the fans, the camera cuts to Jack Avatar, watching on a monitor as he does some warm up isometrics, his flexibility is pretty impressive as Alicia Strong enters, getting a big pop from the crowd. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AliciaStrong.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Jack: What’s up, Alicia? Alicia: I just wanted to make sure you’re ready for your match tonight. Matthew Gauge is a pretty tough customer, and I’ve got a feeling those guys [she points to the monitor] are going to be in line for a title shot. Jack: One week at a time. Alicia: What about the Revolution? Do you need any help out there? Jack stops stretching and straightens up. Jack: Look, I appreciate the offer, but asking you to come out there with me would be like admitting they’ve gotten to me. I promised at Riot Act that I would deal with the Revolution by Brave New World, and I plan to do just that. So beating Matthew Gauge tonight, beating the Natural Ones down the line, all of it doesn’t mean anything if I can’t take out the Revolution. And to do that, I’ve got to get into the Revolution’s head a little bit. Show them I’m not worried about their little numbers game. So do me a favor: just stay back here, okay? Alicia: Okay. Jack makes his way out for his match, as we go to our final break of the night. Alicia looks concerned as she watches Avatar leave. [b]Rating: B+[/b] [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG] vs. [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/MatthewGauge.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] [b]Match #6: Jack Avatar vs. Matthew Gauge[/b] Avatar seems back in high spirits as he makes his way out after the break, posing on the entrance ramp and getting the biggest pop of the night. For his part, Matthew Gauge gets a great reaction as he makes his way out, the announcers put over how this is maybe the biggest opportunity in Gauge’s young career. Mitch and Emma also put over the legacy of these two guys, Avatar’s training by Rip Chord and Matthew’s training from his father, both men members of the Hall of Immortals. The two young superstars don’t waste any time locking up, and we get some amateur-style action that produces a quick near-fall for each man in the opening minutes. In a cool spot, Avatar gets Gauge in a wrist-lock, and as Gauge forward flips to reduce the pressure, Avatar comes flying in with a leaping spin kick that looked absolutely brutal and earns a near fall. Taking control of the match, Avatar hits a big brainbuster, then follows that up with a seated half-nelson, but as he rears back to apply more pressure, Gauge rolls Avatar off him with an impressive amateur display, and Gauge takes advantage, locking in a head-scissors that stretches out Avatar’s arm and shoulder. Gauge lifts up Avatar and tries to set up the Neutron Suplex, but Avatar fights out of it with some stiff chops before hitting an overhead suplex of his own, and Gauge once again lands hard on his head and neck. Avatar goes up top, looking for the flip-over leg drop, but Gauge rolls out of the way and Avatar lands hard in the middle of the ring. Gauge psyches himself up, drawing huge heat from the crowd as he grabs Avatar’s legs, setting him up for the Proton Lock! Gauge flips Avatar over… and he locks in the first half of the hold! Gauge torques back to lock in the neck-lock aspect, but Avatar is struggling towards the ropes, and Gauge can’t lock him in! Gauge struggles to try to grab Avatar’s head, but he’s too late! Avatar breaks the plane, and Gauge is forced to release the hold. Gauge takes over the match, hitting some low impact power moves, including a high backbreaker that leaves Avatar stunned. Gauge goes for the cover, but Avatar gets free and quickly gets back to his feet. Gauge tries to start a chop battle with the 2 time former champ, but Avatar snaps! He goes after Gauge with a flurry of high kicks and chops, driving Matthew Gauge into the corner. Avatar comes running in and using the turnbuckles for leverage, vaults himself up high before using his arms as a fulcrum to drive a nasty dropkick square into Matthew Gauge, doubling him over and leaving him stunned on the bottom rope. Avatar comes running in and lands a brutal running knee to Gauge’s forehead, busting open the second generation superstar. Avatar picks up Gauge and signals for the Identity Crisis! But Gauge fights out of it! Gauge hits a big clothesline, but can’t follow up as he’s favoring his head as Mitch and Emma speculate whether Gauge didn’t suffer a concussion from that blow to the head. Jack gets up and walks into another big clothesline, as Gauge seems to re-focus. Jack gets up again, and Gauge is clearly frustrated as he comes in for another clothesline, but this time Avatar ducks! Gauge turns around… right into an Identity Crisis! 1-2-3! Avatar picks up the victory in the middle of the ring! [b]Winner: Jack Avatar via pinfall at 15:51 after an Identity Crisis Rating: A*[/b] Avatar’s in the ring, celebrating, when Joe Sexy’s music hits, causing the crowd to immediately erupt into a chorus of boos. Sexy stands on the ramp, grinning. Avatar glares out at Sexy, inviting him to get into the ring. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JoeSexy.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Joe: I’ve got good news for all you Portland fans out there! Tonight I’m not gonna tell you my secret! I’m gonna show you my secret! Boys, run that tape! Avatar looks confused in the ring as an outdoor dining area comes up on the big screen. A young, attractive blonde woman is sitting outside, but can’t see the cameras which are a good 25 feet away from her on the street nearby. The camera zooms in to get a better shot, and it’s none other than Alicia Strong, not wearing the mask! [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/AliciaStrong-1.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Strong sits by herself, waiting for somebody. She’s barely recognizable in a black dress, her hair pulled back from her face, looking like a regular person, albeit one with over-developed shoulders. Joe: I know this doesn’t seem like the story of the century, but wait for it, wait for it… Suddenly on the video a man appears, and Alicia rises and hugs him. As the camera tries to focus in, we get a clear shot of Jack Avatar, wearing a suit and tie, as he sits down across from Alicia. [CENTER] [IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd207/lazorbeak1001/JackAvatar.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER] Joe: I guess we know why you two couldn’t be bothered to be here last week? Hahahaha! Avatar is in the ring, not responding as Sexy cackles, watching the screen as the camera fades to black. Mitch: What does this mean? Our the tag team champions more than friends? Tune in next week! [b]Rating: B+[/b] Overall Rating: A*

[lazorbeak]

More news from EWF, and a new edition of the Old School Rant: [quote=ewf.com] [b]Jack Avatar to make online statement[/b] Following the unexpected events that concluded EWF Destruction last Saturday, we at EWF.com can [i]exclusively[/i] confirm that Jack Avatar will make a statement addressed to the Revolution on our website in two days’ time. Avatar is expected to address rumors of his relationship with Alicia Strong, as well as set out his plan for what he calls “the total elimination of The Revolution from EWF.” How will Avatar eliminate a stable that has dominated EWF television and holds the EWF title? Log-on to ewf.com this week for all the answers! [b]Sam Keith’s Old School Rant[/b] Well, it’s been awhile, but I finally got around to updating this new-fangled ‘blog.’ I shouldn’t have to tell you things have been a little hectic around the ol’ office. This Revolution thing sure seems like it’s got tempers running high: then again, maybe it’s the record-setting heat wave? Some folks’ve flooded my mailbag with e-mails about this new group, saying they’re getting too many breaks, and haven’t earned their spot the way the rest of the roster has. I hate to disagree, but their recent matches seem like ‘earning their spot’ to me. It’s getting to be a regular re-union around here! First Bruce the Giant, now another star with a name so big, I can’t even post it to a blog without dozens of lawyers running me down. I may be a former world champ, but even I’m not tough enough to take on the entire EWF legal department! Speaking of Bruce, he’s one of the all-time greats, and we’re honored to have him appearing in EWF. That said, both Bruce and EWF management recognize Bruce can’t compete in an organization as physically demanding as EWF, and his run with us is not expected to be permanent. Yes, I was in front of the camera this week to put over the chaos taking over EWF this week. No, don’t expect it to become a habit. To say there’s less pressure doing what I’m doing now is the understatement of the year. Let’s just say I’m proud of both my sons equally. Greg’s been on a really great roll, and Matt’s matches with Wolf Hawkins and Jack Avatar have him on the verge of the main event. Adam Matravers has parted ways from the company. EWF fans may remember Adam from his appearances as part of the UK Connection with UK Dragon Word is the Green Genius has been in talks with EWF management to appear on EWF programming. Better known as el genio verde, Green Genius is American by birth but has developed an impressive following in Mexico and may be outsmarting enemies in EWF very soon. Until next time, I remain: Sam Keith[/quote]